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Peppa Pig Tales #15 Rant

Reviewed: 02/24/2024

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part 15!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only four episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2025, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by who, since my video source keeps cutting off the EDs and it's basically the same five to six writers anyway.

Police Car Rescue: Short opens with George shoveling sand in the sandpit next to a model police car and a fire truck while making noises (I think, it might have easily been one of the model cars, I don't know) as there is a digger. Peppa is rearranging model cars with the ambulance (with the green cross for obvious reasons) as Mummy and Daddy Pig are on the bench reading something from a mobile phone. In comes Danny Dog and Pedro F'N Pony with a model police car as George is burying a police car. That was funny. Peppa is playing with the fire truck, not as funny, and now she cannot find the police car and George has zero clue where it is, because you see; when he buried it, George didn't notice it was being buried. Peppa asks George where it is, George cannot think straight and bawls his eyes out for I think the second time in Series 3. Peppa helps George up and decides to help look for it, George feels better as do I. Peppa wasn't trolling here; although her stare of doom came awfully close to that level. Peppa then does the GADGET TRICK OF DOOM to unveil two cowboy hats and they put the cowboys hats on. The writers are literally admitting now that the magic thing is real, just to bury Daddy Pig's science way deeper in the earth than that police car, model or real. So, we hit the imagination world as Peppa Pig and George have safari hats, backpacks, and work boots on. I'm daring this show to have the backpacks be The Backpack from Dora The Explorer. Just to see how long the trademark infringment lawsuit happens, and then fail like a lawsuit against Palworld because the work is too transformative to infringe. So, they go into the fire engine and drive it like a fire engine; because of course. However, since they are in the imagination world and are NOT actually driving a fire engine and letting the audience know the difference between reality and fantasy, this is okay. This is not Kit piloting a plane nor Phineas doing whatever the hell he wants to; with no difference telling the viewer what is real (in storyline) and what is fake (again, in storyline).

George and Peppa runs around in real life with the model and George is so tired that he sleeps in the passenger seat in the IW. George cannot sleep because it's too hot, so Peppa stops the fire engine and George brings out the fire hose and spray the hose upwards to pour out...orange juice? Peppa and George in real life are just drinking from straws from orange juice container. Methinks the imagination world cannot be more realistic, says I. Mummy and Daddy Pig share two orange juice container, have a toast and drink up. Instead of using a recycling can, they just do the GADGET TRICK OF DOOM in reverse. This show is not even trying anymore. The kids bring out toy binoculars which translates almost perfectly with the imagination world. They look with them to see a sand hill with flashing cyan blue lights and police sirens. Geez, I wonder where the police car is?! So, they find it after some pondering, and Peppa brings out the digger and starts digging a hole, and then gives up. Why?! Because they have to kill time in a three minute episode, otherwise the episode ends a minute too early. George decides to find his shovel and then grows up like he ate a giant mushroom from New Super Mario Bros DS! Why not?! It's imagination world, anything literally goes, compared to the "real" world where almost anything goes. George digs out the police car and we return to reality (no, not really) and that is that. George grabs the police car and everyone cheers. Daddy Pig is like, whatever; but Mummy Pig giggles and hugs Daddy Pig despite no hug back. Uh-oh! Trouble. Peppa grabs the police car and plays it, while George doesn't learn his lesson and buries the digger while not look. Look where you dig, George Pig! Peppa is also stealing Freddy Fox's gimmick, since Freddy rarely appears on this show anymore. Peppa turns around and the digger is gone, and George don't know where it is. They shrug their shoulder and go back into the imagination to find it to end the episode at 3:07. A pefectly average Peppa Pig love in. ** 3/4 (55%).

Disco Limo: Short opens outside the little house on the hill as Peppa and George run out in their best clothes (which is George having a shirt with a white V in the middle, and Peppa wearing her usual dress only with white stars) and then Daddy Pig and Mummy Pig are in their best clothes (Basically, his usual clothes except with the white V in the middle and a red bowtie, Mummy Pig is the only one wearing a different colored dress which is a darker purple with even darker purple petal flowers with an orange middle), which means these four do not care about style nor grace. They are going to the resturant for a Valentine's Day meal and they watch the mobile phone of the map with the taxi coming to drive them to the resturant of course. Somehow, Miss Rabbit arrives with a white limo. Wait, what?! Even the family is as confused as I am. Miss Rabbit comes out in her chaffeur gear and completely outclasses everyone, and I do mean everyone. She's wearing a black dress with buttons and a bottom fuzzy detail thingie, and combined it with a white V in the middle along with a navy blue bowtie. I get the dress, but why does she need a limo? That's the definition of overkill to me. Peppa and George don't care, they love it; Mummy and Daddy look at each other in disbelief. Miss Rabbit opens the door as the narrator states that the adult unintentionally ordered the wrong taxi and got the special taxi called a limosine. Betcha it was Daddy Pig again, as usual. The inside contains the colors and trappings of Valentine's Day, including two sofas, two speakers (for the entertainment center), tinted windows where you cannot see a damn thing and a disco ball. Why does this need a disco ball? Answer: To be Miss Rabbit, silly. She is Reggie Rabbit's daughter after all. Why are you surprised?! There is also red dots on the floor and table. Why?! Because Miss Rabbit, of course! Daddy Pig winks at the camera, just to let you know that he wasn't being dumb, getting the limo was on purpose. He calls it romantic, just to kill whatever subtley is left. I love this show, but come on now.

Peppa and George tickle each other with the out of nowhere fluffy Valentine pillows. Cut to Miss Rabbit at the barrier where the window comes down so she can ask them where they are going. In front of the barrier, there is a container of the most circular of roses I have ever seen. Why? Why not?! There was no attempt to make them look like roses, it's like they were frozen or made of plastic. Knowing this show's trope of plastic gold in the mainline series, I wouldn't put it past them to have the roses being made of plastic. Daddy Pig wants to go to Granny and Grandpa Pig's house because they are having dinner there, so no resturant. Of course, I should have know: Too many characters needed and the budget is tighter than ever. Peppa and George run around as Mummy Pig tells them to calm down and it takes like five seconds at least before they calm down and sit on the sofa with the pillows in hand. Mummy Pig loves the Italian music and Daddy Pig is reminded of Italy, well the good stuff and not the two times he fell into the swimming pool at the beginning of each morning. And to think, as dumb as that was; that was funnier than Granny and Grandpa Pig overfeeding Goldie the Goldfish. That was bad. Also funnier, Miss Rabbit changing the music and theme in midstream with disco music and Peppa and George love it, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig, not so much. Bigots. The adults of course. I mean, there is a FUCKING DISCO BALL in the limo! What did you expect?! There is also a screen with a wave synch on it, that was also funny. Daddy Pig ponders this over as Mummy Pig sees the disco ball and realizes, that this makes sense and she looks bad. Daddy Pig realizes that the monitor is in fact a touch screen and touches it to change the music back and it just occured to me: Peppa touched the screen just as the two adults were kissing. So, yes; Peppa Pig is still a troll. On a Valentine's Day date. So on-brand with this show. Also on-brand: Valentine container of chocolates is written in by teleport because it's magic! Suzy said this in doublespeak, so it must be true. In that world, believable; in the real world, of course not.

Daddy Pig offers chocolates, Peppa and George cut him off because they want some. If Peppa is going to troll, this is the best way to do it. Daddy Pig agrees, but not too many; and of course they eat most of them and get messy chocolate faces. Peppa and George leave the sofa with exactly one complete piece of chocolate and the rest look partially eaten, after a jump cut to show Miss Rabbit driving in town for literally three seconds to an empty street. Completely pointless. Daddy Pig is not amused, Mummy Pig is giggling. After the magic of wiping off the chocolate due to a jump cut, Peppa asks for the disco music and you know what, I want disco music to play until the end of the episode, the Italian music only works for me in their own horror films now. Since Peppa says please, Mummy Pig realizes that she must obey, or else Peppa will not be polite anymore. So, they relent and touch the screen to play disco music and they do the robot sitting on the sofa. We jump cut to outside and we see Miss Rabbit driving as Peppa and Daddy Pig are peeping up on the roof watching Mr. Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit shooting the breeze on the sidewalk underneath the umbrella tree. Peppa and Daddy wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day as they throw roses to the sidewalk. Mr. Rabbit and Mummy Rabbit get two and then...YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! FINALLY! The two mummies appear and get their roses! TOTAL MARKOUT CITY~! A million billion stars for this moment! And a million billion middle fingers to the bigots out there! My life is now complete...until they join with Penny Polar Bear together as a family. We're almost there, show. Almost as awesome: Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow get roses as they are holding hands. I mention this because, spoiler alert: They are legit getting married very soon on the mainline series this month!

At this point, I wanted them to continue this and finish with the limo arriving at the white house on the hill with Grandpa Pig and Granny Pig in their best outfits. Sadly, they are wearing regular clothes, just making them look clueless. The limo arrives at the white house on the hill about a good thirty seconds too early as Miss Rabbit stops the limo, walks out and opens the back door as the family tumbles to the ground like a bunch of children. Well, half of them legit are anyway. Everyone gets up and it's time for a disco dance, complete with Daddy Pig having a rose in his mouth. Damn, I wish I added that to the bingo card for this episode. Everyone except Miss Rabbit dances badly, and apparently the Grandparents danced like they were in Paris. That had to suck, I'm surprised that they didn't hate their lives after that experience. The narrator says it all as Miss Rabbit joins in, she's better than all of them. Now, you would expect me to end the episode right there. Nope. Because: jump cut to the boring road before HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Mummy and Daddy Pig are shown peeking out of the roof of the limo with Miss Rabbit driving them, they tease a kiss and just before their lips touch, heart fade out at 3:04. Wow, I didn't expect that ending and outside of the lips not making contact, they paid off the teased kiss. You know what this episode is getting. ***** (100%). Easily the best Peppa Pig Tales episode ever so far, and the longest non-tribute episode review to boot! And guess who wrote the episode: Newcomer Rebecca Hyland. Perfect!

Carrot Catcher: Short opens at the rabbit holes on the hill as Mummy Pig and Peppa Pig arrive at the top right hole where Rebecca greets her by doing the robot, I think. The narrator is completely confused as we officially get the name of Rebecca's Burrow as the house. I still think holes on the hill is funnier; but whatever. Rebecca and Peppa slide down to the main hallway and then enter the sitting room (which features Reggie Rabbit in a painting near the docks); as Rebecca apparently is a gamer now with a video game console and controllers. It looks like a PlayStation 5, only much better designed, at least from a looks department. It's also peach colored and she still plays hard copy games instead of going soft copy (digital store). I have stopped using the term "Physical" because the opposite of digital is "analog", as "physical" is still digital data on a read-only format, while most games are stored digital data on a re-writable format (like a hard drive or a MicroSD for instance). The EULA (End User Licensing Agreement) sees both formats the same because they are both digital data and recalls are much more expensive to do for hard copies than soft copies. To me, most hardcore hard copiers don't want an "all digital future" (never mind that it's already happened since video games were mostly digital data to begin with. You can make a more solid argument with physical pinball machines which the earliest ones were all analog to begin with) because they want the right to re-sell the game at flea markets and on Ebay among others like Deal Dash.com. I have seen their ads with Nintendo Switch being $19.64, with PlayStation 5 being just fifty cents. (Sadly, XBOX Series wasn't in the ads for some reason). I personally think it would be better served to pound the law and regulate the EULA through government agencies to allow easier backup saving (since carts and disc will break down over time, the digital data is more fragile than the format it is on), and maybe even allow re-sale of digital games to third parties, but since the corporations will fight this and gamers are the worst when it comes to such nuances and can't tell the difference between govern and rule; the corporations are the smartest ones in the room. Yeah, let's move on... Rebecca gives the plastic case to Peppa, and the game is called The Carrot Catcher, which sounds like I'm going to see this on the eShop legit from Midnight Works under the Success Games label, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

The same company that got a game DMCAed from the shop because it looks like a Last Of Us clone, because the gaming media is willing to be Naughty Dog's shield that they cared about this clone while not caring about the other 50+ games that were also clones. They only care about copyright when the thief is a game that they are forced to like or be called a bigot. Considering Neil Druckmann in the last half year, that is ironic. By the way, Peppa has played computers in the mainline Peppa series, including knowing how the disc container works and yet here, Peppa has zero clue how to put in a disc; as if she has never played a video game before, despite playing a video game called Happy Mrs. Chicken in the mainline games! Peppa blushes because she hates being made a geek, so she defers to Rebecca Rabbit on this. I'm not impressed. Rebecca puts the disc in with ease, just to make Peppa look like a dork and they take the controllers. Peppa uses the pink bunny over the white bunny of course. Geez, this game's cheaper than a Midnight Works game already. Rebecca explains the rules of engagement, which is to get all the carrots and the big golden carrot in the middle. Sounds simple enough. Except Peppa Pig, has only played one button games for so long that she cannot navigate the game at all. Her control movements and spot are hideously hilarious and it's so bad that I was laughing my ass off. She also throws the controller in the air and breaks it; but still catches it on the rebound. The controller is clearly inspired by the Dual Sense. I could make a joke about Rebecca's mum being smart enough to buy a game that doesn't make the system overheat while playing, but Sony fans are in total Pony Meltdown at this point. Rebecca decides to take over on Peppa's behalf. Rebecca shows Peppa how to use the left joystick and Peppa gets better, but somehow despite having one minute left when Rebecca gave the joystick back to Peppa, the timer is now at zero, within seconds. Geez, this is one sick Peppa Station 5 here. Rebecca decides to play and chooses the white rabbit and she gets all the small carrots with ease; but runs out of time before getting the giant golden carrot. Peppa is impressed and the two decide to play a two player co-op mode which is Nintendo Switch-equse. So, they both play, and get all the carrots and the golden carrots for the new high score, which is said and shows a video game ending screen that is pretty generic. Like Midnight Works.

Peppa and Rebecca slap skin and jump for joy; cheering each other afterwards. Mummy Rabbit is off-camera and you wouldn't guess what happens next: Rosie and Robbie Rabbit crawl into the sitting room with baskets of carrots on their backs, giggling and dropping carrots. This is the most random return of two characters, ever. The twins head stage left as Mummy Rabbit appears panting because the twins have stolen today's lunch, which is carrots of course. Peppa and Rebecca decide to give Mummy Rabbit a rest and catch those carrots and the twins. If you cannot guess that this turns into a real life video game sequence, you haven't been paying attention to the storyline. By the way, TaleSpin did this with A Star Is Torn, despite taking place in an era where video games do not exist, outside of maybe the earliest analog pinball machines. Peppa grabs Rosie and Rebecca grabs Robbie, this literally took fifteen seconds despite them having at least 20-30 seconds left in the episode. Rebecca eats the carrot of course and then we jump cut into the kitchen with Mummy Rabbit all relieved, but fails to keep the carrot baskets away from Robbie and Rosie as they restart their real life video game after the kids sit on their asses tired. The narrator says it all as Rebecca and Peppa chase and grab carrots counter clockwise to end the episode at 3:06. This episode ruled, most so when the rabbit twins started to do a sequence straight out of Ridiculousness and commited to it like a video game. **** 3/4 (95%). (2024 Gregory Weagle Says: I did some further digging and yes, there is a puzzle game by the name "Carrot Catcher" which the object of the game is similar to the Peppa Pig Tales version except the PPT version is a maze like Pac-Man while this version is to use picnic baskets to trap carrots and radishes as they are seintient of course.)

Pancake Resturant: Short opens inside a pancake resturant as the Pig family are at a table in a U-shape. In the middle is a grill and lots of decorations and creams, including the always Canadian food staple: maple syrup. The Pig family is sitting on the left U-shape table while Miss Rabbit with a chef's hat and apron is tending to the right U-shape table with Mr. Bull. Somehow, Miss Rabbit can teleport inbetween tables. Why bother? She could just walk to the table without any trouble. I realize that this episode is three minutes long, but for goodness sakes. Anyway, Miss Rabbit introduces herself and the table of stuff along with the grill as she is already grilling a pancake during this. Ummm, shouldn't you be giving that to Mr. Bull? Miss Rabbit is dumb. Mummy Pig wants a mushroom pancake and Daddy Pig wants a banana pancake with extra bananas. Miss Rabbit disappears Mr. Bull's pancake via teleport as she makes the pancakes like someone who doing at least three juggling acts and since it's magic, Miss Rabbit can easily get away with it. By the way, in this world; extra bananas equals the same amount as regular bananas, but cut into coin and made into a smiley face. As the kids would say, this pancake house is either sus or an outright scam. Daddy don't care because he has to be dumb, but not as dumb as Mr. Bull. So, we get a dramatic sequence of Miss Rabbit asking what is next as Daddy Pig sniffs, Mummy Pig wants to eat, but Peppa Pig says flipping it of course. Miss Rabbit starting flipping pancakes like she was in the circus. Apparently, Daddy Pig got black pepper and Mummy Pig got some green leaves which Miss Rabbit chopped before doing the flipping sequence. Mummy Pig wants her pancake to get a selfie, brings out her mobile phone. Miss Rabbit also puts orange food coloring into the pancakes, I don't know why. Mummy and Daddy's pancakes are done and on plates, so the kids are next. Peppa wants a chocolate pancake with lots of chocolate because she has a sweet tooth. George throws peas and tomatoes, which confuses Miss Rabbit, but she's fine with it. I guess George thinks peas are dine-e-saur eggs. Hey, it's not any dumber than George always liking aeroplanes nor thinking a rainbow is a human being and crying when it dies, so why not. Then Peppa is like "I want the works" and just throws everything, including the dreaded chili pepper, which Mummy Pig is scolding her for. Because chili peppers give you cheap heat and it isn't funny.

Peppa and George want everything, so Miss Rabbit makes a pancake out of everything. Why not?! Miss Rabbit then decides to let Peppa and George flip their own pancakes on the count of three. This is not going to end well for the pancakes. Peppa and George don't care, they love to flip something. Peppa and George flip on three and the gentle flip was so "gentle" that the pancakes landed right onto Mr. Bull's plate. HAHA! That was impressive actually, and considering that Daddy Pig once flipped a pancake into the ceiling, they are better at this than Daddy Pig did. Hang your head in shame. Mr. Bull eats the pancake with a fork and tastes it. He does the dramatic critique of doom, then gets the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS and then no sells it and loves it! Mummy Pig is both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved because Peppa and George didn't get the hot spot and sad because Peppa and George just made an awesome pancake that will be on the menu and probably win a food award that her daughter will never collect. Peppa called a Super Special Surprise Pancake and we head back to the left U-Table as Miss Rabbit restarts the process of making a pancake while the narrator says it to end the episode at 3:10. Fun episode with a great finish that makes you sad that Peppa will never get credit for. *** 1/4 (65%).

Fairy Tales: Short opens inside the school house on the hill as Gigi Gazelle is reading a folded script with a pencil while sitting down on a chair in front of the mini-theater where in front of her are Candy Cat and Freddy Fox aweing with flashlights in hand. Rebecca Rabbit is on stage banging on the drum all day while Pedro F'N Pony is opening the curtains and apparently stringing colored lights. The narrator states that they are performing a play today as Peppa comes in a noble outfit which would have been fine if her wig didn't make her look like a complete tool. It literally looks like brown gum tape you see sold in candy stores, it might as well be dark ribbon chocolate. Anyhow, the story of the play is that Gerald Giraffe is the princess stuck in the tower, so Gerald is basically doing the cross-dressing gimmick Baloo often does, and like Baloo, he's just doing a performance, not trying to decieve anyone like Bugs Bunny would often do. If pre-school shows are fine with children cross-dressing than Kit Cloudkicker dressing up like a girl is going to be perfectly fine. It's free heat, cost you nothing and it pisses off the bigots. Awesome! Gerald's acting is okay actually, I have heard worse. Most of all, Gigi Gazelle proclaiming that this is Repunzel, as if she was surprised that they picked this fairy tale. We are supposed to believe that Gigi is so stupid that she didn't know the tale before hand. This was dumb. She loves the fairy tale as we discover that Suzy is the kidnapper who is wearing a sunflower costume. Okay, she's Poppuri from Luminous Arc 2, move on Peppa. She does, Gigi Gazelle is confused, so she needs to play the Luminous Arc series. Why not a sunflower witch?! Suzy stalks and makes earthquakes and Gerald acting sounds even better now. Suzy does the "let down you hair" and still says please, because she's a nice witch. That was funny, and Gerald forgot to put the Repunzel wig on because he is almost as clueless as Pedro Pony, almost. Suzy doesn't care and just continues to cut her promo, and this promo scares Gigi out of her wits. I cannot take anything they say seriously. This acting sucks. Gerald is calling for a hero to rescue the princess and no one shows up. Peppa: Save thy princess, you geek! Peppa is RIGHT THERE, be the hero Peppa. You are the star and everyone is a geek! The one time where this actually works and she no sells it.

Guess who runs in to save the princess? It's Danny Dog in a firefighter outfit with a blue light and he has to do sound effects. Why didn't you have Freddy Fox and Danny Dog switch places, since the story line of Peppa Pig is that Freddy Fox wants to be a Paw Patrol wannabe hero in the mainline series. I get that Paw Patrol uses anthro dogs and Danny Dog would make sense here, but for goodness sakes. Just a mess. To make this even worse, he trips into the out of nowhere lights and somehow gets tied up by the lights. WHAT?! This makes no sense and it makes Suzy look weak because it was dumb luck that Danny screwed himself. Peppa's attempt to sell this as an evil plan was just silly, no one is buying this except for Gigi Gazelle of course. Peppa then asks for a pencil and just waves it near Danny Dog and this unties Danny Dog. This is so stupid as Peppa tries to cut a promo, but Gigi's cellphone gets a ringtone call and she has to cancel. That was funny at least. Peppa finishes her promo as Danny thanks Fairy Peppa for the service, but what about the sunflower witch. In comes Suzy, trying to be terrifying and failing badly because no one is buying Suzy as a threat like us buying Mummy Mouse being scary. Peppa Pig's plan was to turn the evil sunflower witch into the evil Teddy and after Suzy is kidnapped by Freddy and Candy using colored paper streamers on a stick and then they drop Teddy wearing a sunflower costume. Hey, I've seen worse Z-grade visual effects done in real Z-Grade movies, so whatever. Rebecca comes in with a soccer ball, Peppa cuts her ending promo and Gerald just walks stage right and jumps down from a soapbox. Just like that! Just making complete fools out of everyone, and I do mean everyone. Peppa gives Gerald an apple as Gigi thinks Snow White is coming, it's not; BS&P won't allow Gerald to die, relax. Gerald eats the apple, they can go to the ball and jump up and down in muddy puddles. Suzy and Danny join in as they jump up and down and the stage apparently collapses like an ECW ring (except it took four kids instead of dozens and dozens of wrestling fans), the curtain falls on top of them. Peppa pops from the carnage and cuts her final promo and Gigi Gazelle does the most energeic slow claps I have ever witnessed. The curtain is thrown backward, everyone gets on stage as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06. A very fun episode with a lot of stupid stuff; but none of it was bad so... *** (60%).

Granny Pig's Messy Birthday Party: Short opens with Grandpa Pig leading Granny Pig who is blindfolded with a party hat to the garden. Her blindfold is taken off and we see the Pig family at the table because it's Granny Pig's birthday today. Why does George have a party blower with a blue feather attached to it? There has to be a storyline reason for this, because it makes no sense otherwise. George sucks at blowing the party flavor by the way. On the table is some sandwiches, a jelly cake and a chocolate birthday cake with chocolate on top and exactly one candle to blow. There is also a yellow balloon on a string as Granny Pig teases blowing out the candle; but Peppa stops her because they have to sing the Birthday Song. This is Granny Pig's birthday you troll, let her do what she wants for one day and then she can be a geek the other 365 days (since this year is a leap year). Everyone sings the song except for George who blows the part flavor properly now, for music and he blushes. Then the sky turns dark and it rains complete with thunderstorms. If you cannot guess the final spot right now, you have no business reading this rant (which didn't happen by the way). So, everyone panics and runs stage left with the table and stuff; and go into the greenhouse to have the party; somehow the candle light does not go out despite it raining heavily. So, we continue with the birthday as Granny is smart enough to want to blow out the candle, and Peppa has to make her look like a geek on her own birthday because the song has not been finished yet. It's one thing for Peppa to troll, this kind of trolling is why I laughed so hard during the "Please & Thank You" episode where Granny Pig is defending Peppa for being so nice after decades of her demonstrating how incredibly rude Peppa Pig is. They sing the song faster, which Peppa squeals because she sees a snail on the sandwiches. Yes, a SNAIL stopped a birthday song and the greenhouse is a bad place to have a party. Just take the snail and put it outside, you idiots! Never mind, the rain has stopped and they go outside. Granny Pig loves the jelly cake and grabs it; so everyone else sings the happy birthday song again! This is total apathy, they do not care about the result; they want to finish this song. Then we get an earthquake despite the fact that no one is jumping up and down in muddy puddle, which is the ritual for such. We pan east to an area barricaded and Mr. Bull is digging up their garden! WHAT?!

Peppa Pig is not happy and protesting this in a G-rated Neighbour Wars kind of way. Mr. Bull then proclaims that this will not be long, up to 4-6 business days, which means up to eight days. He seems to be digging up either coal, or black potatoes; I don't know which other than this is completely nonsense. Grandpa Pig's idea is to have the birthday party right in front of the chicken coop, which the only reason to do so is to reintroduce all the chickens to us after being absent since before Series 5. Yes, Jemima is still being id'ed as the black chicken, bunch of racists. Apparently, Neville didn't show up as the three chickens are jumping on the table for their own amusement and no one else. Then the wind picks up, ala Nova Scotia for 366 days every year, we barely get any days with calm; and the candle light goes out. So, Granny Pig is screwed out of her blowing out the candle and there is no way to reinstate this because they are not going to allow match striking (outside of the firing of the cannon in The Castle). All the balloons are destroyed, there is only one sandwich left and the jelly cake is destroyed with a splash of jelly hitting Peppa right in the kisser. Mr. Bull is fully to blame for this, he had no right to dig up the garden in the first place, that fat-shaming windbag. I should also point out that Grandpa Pig told them to hold onto their hats and the hats are also damaged, so nice job Grandpa Pig. If you fools had just removed the snail from the sandwiches and ejected it from the greenhouse, none of this would have happened. George's party flavor is intact though. Peppa Pig is sad, but Granny Pig hugs Peppa because she don't care about some birthday party crap, she just wanted some company besides Grandpa Pig. Besides, the cake is still intact, until the snail starts eating it. Everyone is amused, including the narrator to end the episode at 3:06. What a bunch of fools?! Just eject the snail from the greenhouse and they would have been fine. Just a silly episode with a pointless appearance by the chickens and Mr. Bull. ** (40%).

All Fall Down: Short opens inside the school house on the hill with Peppa Pig and Suzy Sheep holding hands. Danny Dog and Candy Cat are doing the "knock down the dominoes" game with their setup on the floor. Zoe Zebra is building some type of bridge with alphabet blocks on top and Gerald Giraffe is starting a small version of the marble run. Uh Oh! I can tell where this is going without seeing the entire episode. Gigi Gazelle is sitting on the chair staring at the kids, apparently at Gerald to try to prevent the obvious from happening, but Gigi wouldn't be able to stop it. Danny Dog joins Peppa and Suzy as they are singing the worst Ring-Around-The-Rosie, which would be funnier if Rosie Rabbit was involved, but alas she is not. Apparently, ashes is changed to "a tissue" in this version and they flop onto the ground, which causes Gerald to lose his marble, and no Gerald did not suffer a concussion here. The marble somehow rolls and knocks down the dominoes and somehow hits the spotty ball and the spotty ball implodes the bridge made by Zoe as a pink alphabet block bounces off the xylophone and drops. This causes the kids to jump up and down in glee. HAHA! The kids don't care that Danny Dog's flopping causes all this damage. Candy Cat wants to do it again and Peppa Pig wants to make it bigger, because of course. Yup, we are bringing back the marble run; one of the best things on the mainline show actually. The narrator calls it the "tumble down" track. I'm guessing it's a British version of the "timber down" track, since it's the call for a tree to come down. Suzy would enjoy saying that almost as much as "chop the tree down". Almost. More tubes, more structure, a faster ramp as Danny demonstrates with the model green car. Suzy is using boxes of dominoes sets five columns high and dozens of boxes used. This school must have a TARDIS storage bin, there's no way this school would have this many boxes of dominoes. Zoe brings out the drum set and bangs on the drum so badly that Zoe might as well let Steve Dangle's buddy in the background do it. Let's use books as dominoes as well, because we don't read books on this show. Hey, at least they aren't burning them or shredding them, that burns people even if they deserve to be burned (King James (Bible), I'm looking at you!)! Peppa makes a makeshift seesaw and puts a banana on one side. Gigi steadys Gearld Giraffe and Peppa Pig backs her up as we begin the biggest marble run in history.

By the way, they are using "Ready, Steady, Go" here as Gerald throws a bunch of marbles into the tube and the marble run officially commences. It goes about as chaotic and exciting as you would expect as I am not calling this as the whole place turns into a mess and then a major botch as the book was supposed to hit the left side of the seesaw and slingshot the banana into the air, but the book hits the banana and squashes it into pulp. The kids are not happy with that. Sometimes being Rube Goldbergish has it's negative consequences as consequences is a robust word and cannot be avoided nor lose it's meaning since consequences 100% happen. It is one of the most inclusive words in the English language. Danny Dog proclaims that this mess was not fun. Outside of the banana being squashed to pulp, I fully disagree with Danny Dog's assessment of events here. Peppa still wants a perfect marble run, so let's make it a little smaller; which means using more science than all out magic that this show entails. So, they put the domino boxes on the table with a cup of balls on the right side. Danny Dog and Gerald assemble a loop-de-loop and have a remote control car at the ready. So, Peppa is on the chair this time, apparently, Gerald cannot be trusted with this. Peppa is about to flip the marble into the tube, when the door opens and Daddy Pig comes in to greet everyone, because it's home time. Peppa and the kids are so shocked that Peppa unintentionally flips the marble perfectly into the tubes. So, Daddy Pig made himself look like a geek, and still managed to have Peppa do it right. So, this marble run makes a lot less mess as the narrator says it all; the end is as it was suppose to be: the banana slingshots into Daddy Pig's hands and it turns out this was a good thing Daddy Pig shocked them because if he didn't, the banana would have likely splatted onto the door. Daddy Pig unpeels the banana and eats it as the kids all cheer with the narrator saying it all to end the episode at 3:06. Hey, a chaotic marble run always gets good ratings to me and this was no exception here. Awesome finish as well. **** (80%).

Surprise Lift: Short opens outside with Mummy Pig in the car as Peppa Pig and George Pig coming out the car to greet Daddy Pig as they are at Daddy's workplace. Mr. Rabbit comes out with papers and the kids bonk into Mr. Rabbit and he has to get the flying papers back and does without incident. Daddy, Peppa and George enter the workplace via the elevator (or lift as they say in Britian) as Daddy Pig apologizes and then as the lift closes, they breathe a sigh of relief in stereo. Daddy Pig pushes the top right button, and then George gets all laughable and pushes as many buttons as possible because he don't know how a lift works and more importantly, he don't care. Somehow, this lift causes flashing lights, noise and a lot of shaking; not enough to cause problems with the audience, but still enough to annoy someone who thinks what George did was a bad idea. The lift has no lights now and it's now broken. George teases bawling and doesn't do it as Peppa's response is more "oops" than trolling. Daddy Pig proclaims that he's a bit of an expert on lifts, a sure sign that Daddy Pig is dumb because Mr. Bull is not present to be dumber than Daddy Pig on this show. Then he tries pushing the red button and proves my point as this does nothing. However, it turns out the lift is voice activated (there is a phone button with a speaker on the back wall; which gives it away); so it's time to screw with that technology of course. Daddy tells the lift to go to his office and suddenly, this magically restores the lift with lights and the buttons now work. And if you listen closely, you can hear Suzy Sheep laughing all the way to the bank. Sadly, it takes them to the office of bees. Yes, there is literally a beekeeping, honey making office in this building. I'm certain this doesn't work like this in real life, but this is Peppa Pig, where everything is magic no matter what Daddy Pig says. The family goes back into the lift and a bee teases joining them, but goes back into the beekeeping office. There has to be a story about this in the mainline series, I will be sad if it never happens. Daddy Pig being polite in saying please is causing the voice activation is causing them to go to the office of cheese. So yes, there is a cheese factory in this building as well. And it's real cheese, not the plastic stuff since Peppa tears off a piece of Swiss cheese. Next floor, an aquarium; wow the DEI is sure getting it's money's worth here.

Daddy Pig is stumped as Peppa decides to make Daddy Pig look like a geek (she is the star after all) and calls for Daddy Pig's job. This causes the lift to push the top left button and they make it to the top of the building and everyone is confused. Peppa almost got it right, it was suppose to be the red button. Ummm, just push the red button on the top right and keep George away from the buttons, since he was the one who screwed up the lift! The wind blows them back anyway as we continue talking and this leads to buttons pushed and we see, what appears to be the locker room with Mr. Bull wearing an orange towel around his body, an orange shower cap and is cosplay singing with a swirlie brush and he is shocked to see the family and then laughs it off as Peppa says goodback and the lift closes. Okay, that was funny! Then we see a spooky floor which looks like a reserved hell house. Only with no real hell inside. Then, we head to a disco party floor featuring Doctor Hamster as the DJ, proving that she should retire as a vet, this is a much better job for her, and she has great taste in music to boot. Cameos: Mummy Sheep, Captain Dog, Daddy Giraffe, Postmaster Daddy Zebra, Mummy Cat and Mummy Pony. I wonder where Mummy Pony has been when Pedro F'N Pony is not supervised. Then, out of nowhere, the red button blinks and they are now at Daddy Pig's office. Just like that! Daddy, Peppa and George enter the office and Daddy Pig's cellphone is at his desk ringing. Daddy Pig answers the phone and informs Mummy Pig that they are coming down. Peppa and George want to play on the elevator again, but Daddy Pig just reveals the idiot plot since the office has stairs to go down on the opposite direction. Why didn't you just take them up the first time, you dumb anthromorphic pig?! The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06. A perfectly fine episode, but that ending rendered the entire episode dumb. Just like Daddy Pig, as usual. ** 1/4 (45%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, we got a mixed bag of shorts this time around. Granny Pig's Messy Birthday Party and Surprise Lift I just felt were mostly flat as a pancake. They weren't bad, but they were barely decent and made people look like idiots. Daddy Pig in Surprise Lift basically rendered the episode into an idiot plot because they could have taken the stairs the whole. I felt having George not push the buttons again when they return to the lift would have made for a better ending than what the writers had in mind. Granny Pig and company in her birthday party could have just ejected the snail out of the building and none of the chaos would have happened, you could even have Mr. Bull as a distraction in that setup. All so Granny Pig could cut a speech about the importance of family which she could do regardless of what happened. Everyone just looked stupid on that one. The best shorts were All Fall Down because a marble run is an automatic **** in my book and it's supposed to be chaotic and exciting and this one delivered for the time allotted. Carrot Catcher I love because I'm a video game fan and the second half involving the return of Rosie and Robbie rabbit being a video game was awesome. The only flaw in that episode was me not buying Peppa Pig not knowing how to put a disc into the disc drive. Finally, Disco Limo was the best Valentine's Day episode ever because having a disco party in a limo is millions of buys! The ending was perfect, the finish was near perfect, they just went a little too early and of course, Peppa giving roses to Penny Polar Bear's two mummies. What else can I say?! The rest was the usual stuff. So...

Thumbs down for Granny Pig's Messy Birthday Party and Surprise Lift; thumbs up for All Fall Down, Carrot Catcher and Disco Limo; thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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