Return to 50 Webs

Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.

Disclaimer#2:The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.

Peppa Pig Tales #17 Rant

Reviewed: 04/27/2024

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part 17!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only four episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2025, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by who, since my video source keeps cutting off the EDs and it's basically the same six to seven writers anyway.

Cake Pranks Short opens with Peppa, George, Mummy and Daddy Pig going into the tent with Granny and Grandpa Pig because today is the cake competition at the town fete. There is a lot of glass containers containing jam on one table, an area containing bananas, strawberries, grapes and pumpkins (!!!), and a table containing three pies. Where are the cakes?! Is this going to be like that Sony commercial where they say "Play Has No Limits", but not one character was playing a video game, which was the product Sony was trying to sell?! I cannot believe that this show would stoop to such a low. Thankfully, the family walks past and it's just part of the fete, so yes there are cakes forthcoming and Sony is still dumber than Pedro Pony and Daddy Pig combined. Then we see a shoe on a plate, a cyan blue hat with a giant yellow feather and some other object on a plate, which is clearly a tell that these are not real objects and are representation of said objects made of rainbow battered cake. I know this because Peppa pulls the shoe apart and Granny Pig has to assure her that it's a cake of a shoe and not a real shoe. The other two cakes are a blue chair and a red telephone. This is like making sand sculptures at Clam Harbour beach, only instead of sand, it's cake. The chair is so absurd to me. Peppa Pig says exactly what I'm thinking and Mr. Bull comes in dressed like a waiter and has an apron with an image of a cake that actually looks like a cake; thus killing their own gimmick this episode was shooting for. It's not supposed to look like a cake, as Mr. Bull said himself. He's dumber than Sony. Mr. Bull proclaims that he needs judges and offers Peppa and George Pig to judge the cake and they accept. Oh, I love this now. This is going to be a trainwreck on par with Peppa calling a square dance in America. Mr. Bull bails stage right as Peppa and George hide underneath the table as Daddy Pig shows up. Peppa is making phone ringing sounds to trick Daddy Pig into answering the cake phone because Daddy Pig is dumb. Betcha he tries to answer the phone. I check the video...Damn, I'm so good. The phone crumbles cake all over the ground and on Daddy Pig, we all have a good laugh as Mr. Bull has a clipboard with paper and a pen to check that one off. Next prank: Mummy Pig not knowing that a tea kettle with tea cups on a tray is a cake. Yes, there is a cake version of lettuce, sliced carrots and sliced cucumbers on the next table. That is funny in such an ironic way. Yes, Mummy Pig is fooled let's go to the next prank. Peppa and George actually do the backsplash laugh way earlier than usual as Mr. Bull is amused.

Then we get the next prank as Miss Rabbit is going to give an award for the biggest carrot to Grandpa Pig and Peppa sneaks in, pulls the giant carrot to expose the cake, making Grandpa Pig look like a cheater and the decision is reversed. HAHA! Miss Rabbit even calls the carrot, "Carrot Cake" even though it's just a rainbow cake disguised as a carrot, just to make her look dumb. Despite having the smallest carrots that were likely store bought, Granddad Dog wins the award by default. Even in Peppa Pig Tales, Granddad Dog and Grandpa Pig are still feuding despite supposely being good friends. Grandpa Pig is not amused, Peppa Pig is and everyone including Mr. Bull has a hearty laugh. Jump cut to Mr. Bull putting a trophy on a cyan blue table on the right side of a stage. Mr. Bull gets on stage as we have Mummy Sheep, Suzy Sheep, Mummy and an ultra rare appearance of Daddy Cat. Yes, the real Daddy Cat; because in storyline, the Cat family is an interacial couple. It would be funny if the trophy and the tables were made of cake; but I doubt it sadly. Then we get a logic break: Mr. Bull declares a submarine sandwich the winner of the contest; which appears literally written in by teleport. Now, this would have been a good choice, except it's Mummy Pig's lunch. I get the continuity, but the logic is off. So, we have to pick the next one and now George is on the table. Okay, this would have awesome; but it's not a cake model of George, it's the real George because it can speak. George refuses to be a cake, the same George that made plush toys of animation poses of itself in a previous Peppa Pig Tales episode. Mr. Bull proclaims that even he is falling for them, because Mr. Bull is also dumb. So, the real winner is Mummy Sheep's triple layer chocolate cake with cherries; which is a real cake. But wait, Mummy Sheep pulls a piece of cake and it's actually strawberry cake with vanilla icing. Someone needs to teach her the art of the Razor/Razor Blades model before she gets canceled. No one cares. It's supposed to not look like a cake at all, Mummy Sheep. So, she's dumber than everyone in this episode, in the episode and watching it. Peppa gets to pass the trophy and it melts all over Peppa's head because it's made of cake. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That trophy wins by default in my eyes! Peppa should be the winner just for that moment. Everyone goes into the tent to eat the absurd cakes as the narrator says it all. But wait; Mr. Bull is looking for his hard hat which is on a plate and puts it on his cake and it melts like a cake! HAHA! Everyone's a funny geek in this one to end the episode at 3:05. I loved this episode! Nothing funnier than everyone looking like a geek for my pleasure with cakes. Good thing none of them were ice-cream cakes, that would have sucked and everyone would have hated life. **** 1/2 (90%).

Video Call: Short opens with a Brady Brunch-equse moment; but with video confencing instead of a television opening sequence. Mummy Polar Bear, Mummy Rabbit, Mummy Pig and Mummy Sheep who is literally on mute; so we can blame her for making both Suzy Sheep and Peppa Pig sound like chatterboxes. Mummy Pig points out the mute and Mummy Sheep unmutes the thing as the narrator explains the obvious inside Mummy Pig's home from work office. Keep in mind, Mummy Pig has been working from home in 2004 well before COVID-19 hit. So, Mummy Pig is proven to have really excellent foresight in hindsight. Then Peppa and George sneak up from behind and shock her. I mean, scare her. Mummy Pig giggles and the other mummies are amused. I believe this is the first time Mummy Polar Bear has been alone in this entire canon. She's either together with Doctor Polar Bear, or together with Penny Polar Bear or Doctor Polar Bear is alone. Mummy Pig puts herself on mute and Peppa is clearly trolling her because she's bored as is George. I do not like where this is going, because Peppa and Mummy Pig's computer do not mix well at all. Thankfully, Mummy Pig tells them to ask Daddy Pig to set up a video conference downstairs and the kids both agree and go to the kitchen as Daddy Pig brings out the laptop. Good, this should be fun now. So, we are at the table as Peppa and George are interacting with Granny and Grandpa Pig as Peppa is waving in the PIP shot. Why is Daddy Pig looking like he's cooking something? Peppa is annoyed at George for hogging the screen. See what I did there? They actually wrestle each other that is so bad that even parodies of wrestling are hanging their heads in shame, the grandparents are shocked at this and George wins! Wow, I expected Peppa to win this one easily and George bawling his eyes out. Awesome! Then we get a ringing buffering sequence on screen as the grandparents wonder where Peppa is and Peppa is in the sitting room with Daddy Pig's tablet entering the chat. Also great. Peppa then says, "Circle Back" and the grandparents have zero idea what she is talking about. Grandpa Pig thinks it's the triple circle button on the bottom of the screen. Uh-oh! Don't push that...too late; they turn into robots and the kids laugh at their expense. George becomes a snow piggy complete with carrot nose as the filters are being used and abused. Good thing this isn't court, this would get very ugly.

Peppa then pushes the rainbow and she claims she's a rainbow spaghetti monster. Nah, she's a rainbow neckbeard monster. Big difference there. More filtering nonsense as the grandparents are literally clowns now and Peppa has huge eyes. There is a lot of enabling in this scene and no wonder Daddy Pig turned out this way. Peppa is literally broccoli as Granny Pig is amused and Grandpa Pig is stammering because it only exposes him as the one who gave the dumb gene to Daddy Pig. Granny Pig decides that the entertainment is over and clicks the cancel button to kill the filters. Peppa walks out the sitting room to the kitchen and joins George, why the grandparents were confused confuses me. Then I realize that the narrator is basically saying that it creates two Peppa's and echoing sounds due to feedback from the microphones. I am watching WCW! So are the grandparents basically! Not just the microphones either. Grandpa Pig points out the obvious to us and wants to call Mummy Pig and they do on a fourth screen and Mummy Pig is on mute. Somehow Mummy Pig can hear this and unmutes her microphone. Cut to Mummy Pig as she wants to see Daddy Pig, and somehow we see a fourth screen showing Daddy Pig eating jam or tomato sauce. I couldn't tell which; but George don't care because everyone is a dine-e-saur! GRRRR! Well, just the heads anyway. Time to have dinner as everyone turns off their computers and waves goodbye for now. The Pig family sit at the table having spaghetti as Daddy Pig has had enough of screens for today. Peppa proclaims that they will circle back later as everyone laughs to end the episode at 3:02. This was another fun episode because circle back is code for funny stuff happening that doesn't destroy Mummy Pig's new computer in anyway. *** 3/4 (75%).

Red Light, Green Light: Short opens in the boring meadow with Peppa Pig, George Pig, Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig running like the wind...an easterly wind. Then Daddy Pig shouts "red light" and everyone stops awkwardly. Mummy Pig shouts "green light" the kids resume running as the narrator explains the rules of the game. George forgets his cue, but remembers and runs as Mummy Pig runs towards the front and invokes the LEGAL: HAND OF GOD to stop them and shouts. You see, there is a boring road in the background with a green light, but a "Don't Walk" symbol, so it's legally a right light for the runners. By the way, Mummy Sheep is driving a car and Suzy doesn't even notice. After some talking from Peppa and the narrator explaining the crosswalk rules, the walk signal is on and they all stop, look, listen and then cross the crosswalk walking with George being carried to the other side by Mummy Pig. The babyfaces are in a park as Daddy Pig sees a red kite, shouts "red kite" and the kids stop anyway. HAHA! These kids are not taking any chances with Daddy Pig trolling them. The adults wink at each other as Suzy gets the trolling as the red kite flies away. No one should be surprised, since Suzy is Peppa's best friend, whom she keeps burying her. Mummy Pig teases saying "green light"; but says "great job everyone" as the kids run and the kids are forced to stop; even though Daddy Pig never said "red light" anyway. HAHA! The big kids giggle at the sight, George is not amused. Daddy Pig yells "red ball" and George runs because it's not "red light", so it's legal and Peppa scolds George with a 0.5 Rock Lobster Yeti frowning face as Daddy Pig asks "are you sure". George Pig is no longer buying Daddy Pig's trolling and it was great. The kids finally get it and run as Daddy Pig then says "not red light" and everyone stops, but George goes a bit longer before dropping on his ass frowning and then bawls his eyes out! Yup, this game has gone too far. Peppa blows him off like a nasty troll, claiming that George isn't following the rules. Mummy Pig picks up George and George stops crying. Mummy Pig proclaims that she has a special job for George; but Danny Dog cuts them off and wants to race to the tree on the next green light. Mummy Pig puts George on the ground, Daddy Pig says "green light" and the race is on!

The big kids race as Mummy Pig says "red light" and then George does his special job; the GIGGLER~! This involves basically making funny faces, trying to make the kids crack and break the rules. This works on Danny Dog so hard that he laughs and then does the backsplash laugh, thus eliminating his from the race. Of course! We have to make sure Danny Dog doesn't win a race as per his gimmick. Danny is a good sport about it though as we resume the race and suddenly, Danny Dog is not eliminated from the race. WHAT?! Mummy Pig shouts "red light" and George invokes the GIGGLER OF DOOM and it doesn't work on any of the kids this time. In comes Officer "Why Does This Show Hate My Kids" Panda doing the "triple hello" greeting. They exchange notes about the situation as we jump cut to Captain Dog driving a car through the crosswalk, he followed the rules, so don't worry. George makes funny faces as Officer Panda, that amuse him. The adults sit down on the grass as the big kids are frozen stiff as George sits with Mummy Pig. The big kids are not amused by this as Daddy Pig proclaims that he'll never say "green light" again, and he's dumb because the kids race in and tackle Daddy Pig down as Daddy Pig now looks like a horse. You have no one but youself to blame for that one, Daddy! The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:08. Outside of George bawling, this episode was awesome! **** 1/4 (85%).

Ducks In Tinyland: Short opens in front of a castle as Peppa has been declared queen! That's right, Peppa gets the honor of having both the masucline and feminine version of honorifics. The foolish crowd in the foreground are throwing flowers at Peppa as Peppa in a purple gown, and a crown with flowers in it. The castle looks so blocky, Peppa has to be in the imagination world again. Peppa addresses the crowd as the narrator claims that Peppa runs this town. The narrator could have said tower, but it's hard to tell because we return to reality (no, not really) with Peppa using building blocks to create a town according to the narrator now. Mummy Pig comes in and bends the knee to Peppa, playing along. HA! How would you know this is a shoot or a work when Peppa is the star and everyone else is a geek?! We pan over to George making three rubber duckies make quacking sounds. One is yellow, one is blue and one is red; the primary colors of life! Peppa is not amused and goes back to imagination land to cut a promo. Now, it's a tower and it's tall because Peppa wants to spy on everyone. In comes the invasion of the giant rubber duckies to ruin Peppa Pig's fun. Ernie from Seasame Street would approve of this, Bert would not, methinks. The rubber duckie destroys the tower as we return to reality to see George doing the cosplay version, only George really is destroying the block model tower. Peppa blows him off for ruining the game, I don't care. Mummy Pig doesn't either as she wants Peppa to have George cosplay with her, while Mummy Pig puts a pillow on the love seat to watch the chaos. Peppa ponders this over, and decides to accept George into the cosplaying. Which means the tower must be rebuilt to her standards since George felled it. Head back to the imagination world to find Mr. Bull operating a hook crane to put the blocks back into place. We have Mr. Sexist Labo, Mr. Rhino and Mr. Badger, all wearing hard at work uniforms of course. Everyone is forced to stop because Mr. Bull tells everyone to duck, and everyone ducks. But wait, Mr. Bull isn't saying duck because something is flying low, it's because it's the invasion of the rubber duckies round two! Only all three of them this time as the tower crumbles again, much to Peppa's lack of humor. George falls on his ass with the duckies back in reality as Mummy Pig takes the ducks and makes the save, sort of.

Peppa Pig has had enough of the ducks and bans George from playing with her ever again! Whoa, that is some heavy words there, Peppa?! So much so, even Mummy Pig thinks Peppa Pig went too far! Oh, and Peppa Pig is deadly serious about banning George because she's the queen (of this show, mind you) and she can make imagination world into her fancy bedroom as well. Complete with building blocks and a spotty ball with a mini soccer net! We see Peppa playing a really boring marble run and slowly kick a soccer ball into a net. The narrator is basically saying that Peppa cannot have an exciting time without George, no matter how destructive George can get. I blame the rubb...Oh wait, I remembered something. Do not mess with a Sesame Street character, they'll kick you ass. Especially Elmo! That's my reponse to Larry David trying to assault Elmo! Messing with a Children's Television Workshop puppet is declaring a war you cannot win. Peppa pouts and realizes that George destroying stuff was far more entertainming, then we hear rumbling and Peppa thinks it's an earthquake. Nope, it's Daddy Pig vacuuming the floor with headphones on. HAHA! Come on, now! You think for one second that Daddy Pig wasn't trolling the troll with this move?! It's obvious! Oh, and the animators remembered to put the headphones on the actual pig ears instead of the sides of the head. What a novel concept?! This also creates the hilarious image of Peppa Pig in the imagination world face a living vacuum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks! HAHA!

Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.

For Video On Trial, we have Ron Sparks on Shuan Desmond's case. Guru Larry has Peter Molyneux. I have...Chargeman Ken. At least my puppet to punch is a real puppet and not a garbage human being. Peppa's tower is crumbling...AGAIN! Guess who makes the save here?! Yes, the giant rubber duckie! Even Bert would be proud of this moment, as we return to reality to see George using the rubber duckie to peck at the vacuum cleaner and this is enough for Daddy Pig to somehow hear this and apologize. Daddy Pig walks away stage left with the vacuum cleaner as Peppa goes to George and thanks him for saving the tower. George is now unbanned from playing with Peppa, they chase each other and George even gets to be king! Well, George is the king of the rubb..Oh wait, Ernie's not amused. Like I said, don't mess with CTW characters, they'll...you guessed it. The narrator says it all and all is right in the world for George Pig to end the episode at 3:10. Hey, a homage to the ending of "We Cannot End Vegetable Salad", with the world being right again with Caron Izumi! This was a really good episode all things considered, since I couldn't tell if the thing was a castle, a town or a tower. *** 1/2 (70%).

Peppa's Tie Dye: Short opens in the school house on the hill with Gigi Gazelle literally dressed up as a hippie and she asks if anyone has remembered their t-shirts. Candy Cat is the only one who gets the joke because she giggles after Gigi said that. Okay, today's lesson is making tie-dye t-shirts which is a special way to paint t-shirts using different colors. Danny Dog looks confused for some reason and then realizes that he confused tie-dye with dying ties. Now, his confusion is stupid; but dying ties in a tie-dye style is not at all absurd, so Danny Dog is just being silly and nothing else. Gerald is shocked by this, probably finding out that it's Granddad Dog's tie. How often do you see anyone in any line of work wear a white tie?! I should note that the other kids present today are Candy Cat, Gerald Giraffe, Mandy Mouse, Danny Dog, Rebecca Rabbit and Suzy Sheep. Gigi is totally fine with this as we head to the painting tables with newspaper, paint blocker wear (gloves and goggles), and bowls of water and dyes. Gigi Gazelle demonstrates the painting process and apparently, they are using water-based painting instead of oil-based for environmental reasons, I guess. The kids are also wearing yellow coats as Gigi tells them that you can mix any colors you like, just use a few drops. Gigi drops a strip of paper and it turns blue. The kids mix paints for awhile, as Danny Dog wants a really pink tie for his Granddad Dog and Gerald mixes about six colors and gets muddy puddle brown. HAHA! The muddy puddle is more over than Gerald Giraffe! Ponder that one for a moment. Gigi informs Gerald that you simply dip the shirt in multiple bowls of colored dye instead of adding multiple dye colors in one bowl and hope it comes out as a rainbow. Peppa wants rainbow colors and Gigi allows them to make rainbow shirts. Gigi then demonstrates how to tie-dye the t-shirt or in Danny's case, the tie. You squeeze the shirt tight enough to attach elastic bands to tie up the shirt. Peppa's squeezing method sucks so much, the rubber bands fly like rockets; everyone is amused by this. Gigi demonstrates some more on how to dip the shirt in said dye. Gerald creates a rainbow shirt after being in a muddy puddle, that was neat. Dye is flying on Peppa's yellow coat, that doesn't amuse her; but Gigi is totally fine with it. Danny really wants to dye some more, if you know what I mean. Gigi cuts him off and the shirts need to dry outside as we jump cut to outside because it's home time! The parents come walking in as the kids run in with their shirts. Mummy Giraffe arrives in one of the few times she has appeared in the series in general! Suzy and Rebecca made the same shirt with a color palette swap difference. Peppa shows off her shirt to Daddy Pig and Daddy Pig loves it. The other kids show off their wares, the adults are impressed. The kids all dance and the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:16 (!!!). Just your average Peppa Pig love in. *** (60%).

Fancy Bathroom: Short opens inside a shopping hall complete with a water fountain. The Pig family walks into view and Peppa suddenly holds her groin in the V-shaped arms position, which is the signal that she needs to go to the restroom to pee. Peppa proclaims that she needs a wee. Ah, now I know who was mocking the Wii back in the day, it was those evil British people! No wonder PlayStation dominates the UK market, Nintendo doesn't get British slang. Then I realize that they are in town on a sidewalk and not in a shopping mall, because Officer "Why Does This Show Hate My Kids?" Panda is washing his police car. I howled with laughter, both at Panda and myself, for different reasons. Mr. Bull is having trouble with a water pipe, and the pipe burst, and water comes out in such a way, Peppa is probably going to get PTSD from this. Peppa is panicking like nothing else, but they find a fancy toilet, push the button and go inside. Wow, I was expecting them to do the occupied spot, but no. This is the most modern outhouse I have ever seen. It looks like something I saw in the train episode where Daddy Pig goes to another country to test a block of concrete. Peppa wants the toilet now and Daddy Pig doesn't know where it is. Hint: it's the right wall with the circle window. Daddy Pig is dumb. Peppa finds a white control panel containing pictures of the stuff in the outhouse and finds the toilet button. She pushes it and well how do you do! There's the toilet, Peppa sits down, pees off-screen. Daddy Pig asks George if he needs the toilet, George says no. Peppa finishes up, washes her hands and that is that. Mummy Pig wants to flush the toilet because the stakes are finished and it's time to Cartoon Duck Syndrome an episode because we are barely one minute into this. Peppa does not know which button it is now and if you cannot guess which button it is, you have no business reading this rant. Peppa pushes the windbags button and the drier next to the sink blows constantly as paper towls fall from the despenser. Peppa then pushes the water drops button and that turns on the sink. The button light up as green. Next up, the bubble button and the sink has an automatic soap despenser to makes a lot of big bubbles. Bubbles are everywhere, pop pop as George pushes the music button and we get music that makes elevator music hang it's head in shame. Pop pop.

We head outside to see various denizens stop and be confused. Cameos: Mummy Rabbit, Rebecca Rabbit, Dr. Hamster and Gigi Gazelle. Rebecca Rabbit giggles because it's so amusing to her that she holds Mummy Rabbit's hand and wants to join them inside. Jump cut back into the outhouse of modern pleasure as Daddy Pig realizes that there is one button on the top right of the panel left and thinks it's the flush button. Considering how dumb Daddy Pig can be, I betcha it's not. I betcha it's the toilet button because that is what makes the most sense. Well, Daddy Pig pushes the top right button and guess what: It's the toilet flush button because the toilet flushes and folds up. Hey, credit to the writers here. They made me think that it was the toilet button turned off as the button and it wasn't the case, plus it still made sense anyway. Good job! George still doesn't want to go potty, so Mummy Pig wants to leave. Peppa Pig doesn't want to leave, because the place is a mess. Mummy Pig proclaims that this is a fancy outhouse and the family just has to leave and close the door. They do so as Mr. Bull joins in with Rebecca and Mummy Rabbit. The outhouse bounces around and it's clean now as the family opens the door and steps inside. Doctor Hamster is in awe joining in with the rest of the denizens. Peppa calls this outhouse amazing, and that creates an echo for no reason. Jump cut to outside after giggling as everyone wants to go home. They pass Mr. Bull trying to fix this water pipe spewing water. This is enough for George to have PTSD and now George needs to pee. Someone needs to inspect that crack in the sidewalk, STAT! Apparently, the piss devils are cursing the little kids on the sidewalk. George now snorts after walking past Officer Panda and Daddy Pig realizes that they need to go back. The family goes back, but now there is a lineup and George is going to have to hold it. George wiggles around as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06. Wow, I hope the piss devils don't make George prematurely piss on anyone. That would suck and everyone will be hating life. This was a fun episode, mostly when they have to act so dumb on trying to flush a toilet with confusing buttons. *** 1/2 (70%).

Wooshing Watering Cans: Short opens at the flume ride, as the ride is made into an orange watering can that makes me remember the Swimming episode and how awesome it is. Soon, in June probably, I will be doing additional commentary for the "20 Years Of Muddy Puddles" Peppa Pig rants! Anyhow, the Pig family are all in their swimming costumes along with our "I cannot shake off this sad gimmick" resident Peppa Pig character, Miss Rabbit! Miss Rabbit calls this the Whooshing Watering Can! Of course, what a fool I am?! I should have known they invoke a Dragon Quest reference into this show considering Miss Rabbit love for green dragons. Anyhow, the family all get into the boat with a watering can motif and fasten their safety belt, so they can be safe of course. Their job is to shoot....ERRRR...I mean, water the plants using water guns in front and on the side. Hey, I'll take this over the shooting gallery in the TaleSpin comic "Idiots Aboard!" Somehow, the boat is remote controlled since the weapons can only be shown by pushing the red button on the conveniently placed control panel next to Miss Rabbit. Mummy Pig is so giddy about spraying water, George frowns. George must be a gun control advocate, and I don't blame him. I know it's a water gun; but Mummy Pig's handling of the gun should DQ her and the family from owning a real gun. Although she handles it better than Colonel Grogg ever did. Then I realize that the gun was stolen from the front because Peppa wants a go and Mummy Pig has to back off. The boat starts down the canal as the adults want to shoot the breeze in a G-rated way and I trust this to pull it off, unlike Chargeman Ken, or even TaleSpin for that matter. The flower targets pop up and Peppa is of course trying to troll on George, but George shoots and basically tells her to buzz off on the trolling when the flowers are hit. None of them say "fire", which makes sense because there are no fires presents. It should be "Ready, Aim, Spray!", although that might sound a bit lewd. Peppa is still trolling on George and George sprays to kill the plants and Peppa's creditbility as a troll. Peppa looks like a total geek, and I love it! Peppa's frowning, start shooting and stop trolling! She's shooting and she sucks so bad that at one point, Daddy Pig gets sprayed in the face. Somehow, he was asleep despite not looking like he closed his eyes. Peppa looks defeated, I look happy even though Peppa is a good character as Mummy Pig asks if Peppa is okay.

Peppa is not okay because George is making her look bad and that's a no-no on this show since Peppa Pig is the star, her name is on the marquee! Peppa is angry because George is better than her despite being bigger than George. Well, in popularity maybe, but why is she complaining about this after her shuffleboard skills?! She didn't complain about that one. Daddy Pig's analogy is so dumb that it could only come from Daddy Pig: Daddy Pig is bigger than Peppa, but Peppa is faster. By the way, Peppa and George get tickled on the ribs by both parents, Peppa got it twice by Daddy Pig. Baloo on Molly Cunningham, Plunder and Lightning Part 2, I'm just saying. Besides, Baloo's was better because Molly got Kit on the rebound since Kit was responsible for slingshotting Molly onto Baloo's belly in the first place. They make it to the big flower of doom and George sprays water, but the plant grows up and sprays water onto everywhere. Somehow, this makes George bawl his eyes out! Peppa hugs George and now Peppa Pig is pissed off! Her pissed off promo is so delightifully awkward that I was laughing my ass off. Peppa counters with her water gun of doom as George joins in to work together to counter this not nice flower as it gets reduced to regular size. The narrator says it all as Mummy Pig tries to praise their work and the flower is like "Fuck you!" and sprays Mummy Pig with water. HAHA! That ends the episode at 3:06 with Mummy Pig finishing the promo and the kids giggle. A good episode with a really good ending, although they need to tone down the tickling spots. *** 1/2 (70%).

Ice Lollies: Short opens outside the little house on the hill as Miss Rabbit arrives on her bicycle with helmet on and giant purple freezer backpack on her back of course. Miss Rabbit rings the doorbell and out comes Mummy Pig as Miss Rabbit has a giant cardboard box. Yes, Mr. Zebra, the postmaster general no longer exists on this show and let's make Miss Rabbit do more jobs that she didn't need to make in the mainline series. Why can't Mummy Polar Bear be in this role? The kids bring in the package and put it on the table. They open it to reveal a giant machine that looks like a penguin and the narrator explains that this is an ice lolly machine, since the other names for the ice treat are trademarked. Mummy Pig's motive for buying this is so they can eliminate all the fruits from Grandpa Pig's garden. Outside of the bananas and maybe the kiwi fruit, there is nothing there I couldn't eat without the ice lolly machine. Oh, well; you need to kill time in a three minute episode, so why not?! I don't mind them making ice lollies out of fruit, I betcha eating them are really fun when made. Daddy Pig is involved along with George as Peppa shakes hands to greet the penguin lolly machine, that was funny. Mummy Pig seems to be smarter than everyone else because Mummy Pig claims that she had one of these machines as a kid. She inserts some berries into the penguin of doom and this thing will not work, with the end being Mummy Pig gets sprayed in the kisser with berry juice. The fact that Daddy "This always happens to me" Pig is in the room during this makes it even more silly. Daddy Pig uses his cellphone to scan the QR code and the instructions are shown on his cellphone, causing Mummy Pig to literally blush in embarassment. It's very rare for Mummy Pig to blush like this. Yes, she has her bouts of stupidity, but almost never blushes despite that. Okay, the ice gets added first, and Mummy Pig turns the wheel. She can barely get this wheel to turn well, but in the end the ice is shaved in a bowl that is already in the penguin's belly. Question: Why not just squash the fruit, add cold water and then put them into lolly trays, before putting them into the freezer. Why go through all the trouble of crumbling ice?! Daddy Pig adds raspberries, remembering to eat one before turning the wheel. This causes the penguin to gargle like it's using mouthwash and spits out the juice onto the shaved ice.

A lolly mold for three giant lollies comes out of nowhere as the kids giggle. George and Peppa pour the shaved colored ice into the mold, causing a mess that somehow does not make it to the cellphone! One of them is clearly overfilled as the lolly mold is put in the freezer part of the fridge. While we wait, let's make more as George does a great spot where he throws a blueberry into the air in such a way that somehow Daddy Pig can catch it on the rebound. Daddy Pig love blueberries as we hit the montage of the family using various fruits to make both more lollies and a mess. Peppa eats a banana, Daddy Pig juggles fruit and after about thirty seconds of fruit ice making action, the family runs out of fruit. Peppa sulks because they now have to wait for real and these pigs are impatient. What did you expect when you are trying to balance out a three minute episode?! George sulks and this is enough for the grandparents to knock on the door and come in with more baskets of fruit. Of course! What a fool I am?! Thinking that Grandpa Pig would run out of fruit when his garden is a super garden, so says Pedro F'N Pony. Granny Pig is shocked that the kitchen is a total mess of fruit as Grandpa Pig asks if the fruit is used for healthy reasons. That made me laugh. Peppa and George wants to make more lollies, but Daddy Pig says no. Why? Because the freezer is full of lollies, so Mummy Pig brings out the lollies, being fully frozen for literally two minutes or less. This is officially more ridonkulous than an atomic jet going from Japan to New York in thirty minutes in Chargeman Ken. Ponder that for a moment. It's 3:30 by the way as everyone has ice lollies, and the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06. Outside of the obvious "why couldn't they just pour juice in the molds and put it in the freezer?" logic break, this episode was fun. *** 1/2 (70%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, this was a good set of shorts this time around. Cake Pranks was as expected great: Peppa Pig being a judge for a cake contest with the stips being that they cannot look like cakes was really entertaining to me. Miss Rabbit reversing a decision on Grandpa Pig for having a cake made of carrots was hilarious as well. Red Light, Green Light was also very good as George playing the role of "The Giggler" was awesome, although Danny Dog should have been eliminated from the race for falling for it. The other episodes were okay to fun, Danny Dog dying a tie was a funny take that on the tie-dye angle which deserves it's own mention in this review. Peppa Pig Tales is really fun and it all makes sense, but I don't know how long this is going to last since the mainline series is now in progress. Hopefully, I'll get to review more mainline episodes as soon as Hasbro stops being pissy about copyright. So...

Thumbs up for Cake Pranks and Red Light, Green Light, thumbs in the middle for the rest , and I'll see you all next time.

Back to Other Rants Index!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage