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Peppa Pig Tales #27 Rant

Reviewed: 01/31/2025

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part 27!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only four episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2025, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare?! Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by whomever, since my video source keeps cutting off the endings and it's basically the same six to seven writers anyway.

Train Station: Short opens with the Pig family rushing with their luggage into the train station. Of course they are, they assumed that Peppa Pig Tales was over like everyone else who bought into the Peppa Pig Wikia saying that it was over. It's far from over, I should have known. Mummy Pig has trouble scanning the barrier and of course they missed the train because of this. Pedro F'N Pony's smile inside tells the entire story with Daddy Cat and Mummy Pony also riding. George has a whistle and says "toot-toot"; and Miss Rabbit informs them that the next train will be in five minutes. Which is almost two episodes in this show. The family heads into the playroom complete with a model train set set up. I know the narrator said "waiting room"; but play room is much more fitting. Peppa and George play with the train set for awhile, George plays the conductor. It's an electric model train track as Miss Rabbit informs everyone literally seconds later that the train has been delayed due to a tree on a track. Am I watching the video game industry again?! George drops a model tree on the track as the train tracks are incomplete, so I guess that's the next delay in this story. The model train bounces off the tree for a while, much to George's dismay. Peppa turns off the track and wonders how to remove the tree. Now, the obvious way is just to pick the tree up. But this is Peppa Pig and we have to do something Rube Goldbergish because we have to cosplay reality. That's fine, but it doesn't work really well in Peppa Pig's world when Father Christmas and Super Potato, which would be mystical fictional characters in our world, are real in storyline. Peppa brings out the tractor with the JAWS OF HALF LIFE as we see Mr. Bull using it to grab the tree off the track with Mr. Labo, Mr. Rhino and Mr. Badger looking on as spotters. We return to the waiting room with Peppa saying the "easy? easy?" line Mr. Bull said before the jump cut. I'm surprised she didn't say "easy-peasy, lemon squeezy" here. Peppa uses the model tractor to spike the tree like in American rules football. Then Miss Rabbit is on the PA system again as everything is fine and the luck has changed...Ummm, cancel that because the train track is broken. Mr. Rabbit is driving the next train I should note. Mummy Pig blows off Daddy Pig for thinking his luck has changed because Daddy Pig will always be our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! The track in the waiting room is missing a track tile and they cannot find the title and the black tile doesn't fit anyway. Mr. Bull's fixing was way worse by the way, making him the true GEEK OF THE WEEK, the first one in Series Five of this show. George decides to improvise and use the crane to take one of the track title off and place it on the offending spot. Miss Rabbit is "on the PA" informing the passengers, which Daddy Pig blows off and Mummy Pig thinks the wheels fell off. Miss Rabbit then informs them that the train is almost here because Mr. Bull did exactly what George did. That was funny, but that is really stupid. The train arrives at the station with Gigi Gazelle inside. The family races into the train, put their luggage on top of the nets and sit down inbetween Gigi Gazelle, Freddy Fox and Mummy Fox. The train drives away with Miss Rabbit waving as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:03. This was the usual Peppa Pig episode with a stupid finish. ** 1/2 (50%).

Around The World Food: Short opens with Mr. Bull shaking some spice into a pot of chili at a booth, and this somehow causes it to have an upset stomach, or something. Sorry Mr. Bull, no amount of saying "STOP!" will stop that soup. Mr. Bull does put a cover to stop it, which if he did that while saying it, there would be less of a mess. Yes, this is a world food fair featuring food from...seven countries. Yes, China is represented here unlike in International Day, but since this aired well after the Panda Twins debuted on the mainline series, China had to be shoehorned in. Gigi represents France with Candy Cat and Mandy Mouse. Mr. Rabbit and Rebecca Rabbit represents Wales with Suzy Sheep and Pedro F'N Pony. England is resprented by Mr. Fox and Freddy Fox, along with Emily Elephant. Mr. Bull, the idiot of culture, represents Mexico with Mummy Zebra. Italy is represented by Aunty Goat in just her fifth appearance in Peppa Pig and her debut on Peppa Pig Tales! Danny Dog, Peppa Pig, George Pig, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig are there. Three guesses what Aunty Goat is serving and the first two don't count. China is represented by Officer Panda and the Panda Twin, with Mummy Elephant. Finally, we has the Lottie Llama and Mummy Llama debutting on Peppa Pig Tales, representing Germany, with Daddy Giraffe and Gerald Giraffe, whom is sitting on a wooden bench. By the way, the cups of spaghetti have tomato sauce on top when Mummy Pig is pondering which booth to start with first. Peppa and George love spaghetti, just as the family is walking away from the Italian booth. Of course! Troll gotta troll, it seems. Daddy Pig's blank stare indicates that there is trolling going on. I discover that Emily Elephant is eating something on the bench as Daddy Pig likes Peppa to try new things. Peppa: Like spaghetti? Oh come on, now Peppa! I would have went with beans on toast and have Daddy Pig be repulsed by it before recoiling. Daddy Pig love spaghetti, writers. Doesn't work as comedy.

Mummy Pig agrees to look for the spaghetti as long as Peppa is willing to try new things. Peppa accepts and we head to the Welsh food booth with Mr. Rabbit serving Welsh rarebit (pronounced Welsh Rabbit), which does not contain rabbit meat at all. I mention this because meat is not allowed on this show, probably due to Karens running their mouths about canabalism in cartoons since the characters are anthromorphic animals. Peppa is not exactly thrilled about this taste test because she wants spaghetti and she thinks this taste bad. To be fair, Welsh rarebit can contain alcohol and didn't orginate in Welsh cooking per se. More research is needed though. Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig try it and it is yummy. Peppa decides to give it a go, and both she and George thinks it's yummy. The kids giggle as Gigi Gazelle offers a bowl of French Onion Soup. Basically, a version of onion soup that was very popular with the average citizens since it's a cheap vegetable to grow. It's far from a super food, but it does have some nurtients. Outside of sugar, it's far from the worst food in the world. I just love the narrator saying that she's a bit of an expert on making French food. Which by Daddy Pig speak is that she's not all that good at it. Peppa and George takes the green cups of soup, they drink up and they love it. The kids giggles and we head to the Mexican food booth featuring Mr. Bull -- idiot of culture -- is marking on the chalkboard with red chalk that this chili is very, very spicy. Peppa takes the bowl anyway and calls it a volcano. The beans are the devil's -- beans. I prefer beanless chili if you didn't notice. Daddy Pig panics because Peppa is literally going to try out the chili and he runs in slow motion, steals the spoon and eats the spoonful of chili Peppa was going to eat. Daddy Pig gets up and proclaims that it's not bad at all...and then...STEAMED HAM ON FIRE~!

Peppa puts the chili bowl back, because it's clear the parents aren't going to allow them to be on fire. I've been waiting for at least a decade to say that line. Peppa and George bail as Daddy Pig is on his ass trying to reduce his heat in mouth. They try some food from England which is veggie pie mash. It includes whole carrots since the whole pie are shown to the left, and the right is the pieces on toothpicks. The German food is fermented cabbage, called sauerkraut, which didn't orginate in Germany, but in Slavic and Roman cultures and China did a similar practice called Suan Cai. Considering that the Pandas have a booth, the mainline series would have pointed this out since it would make sense. The family has vegetable dumplings from the China booth, probably because a lot of the dishes in China contain meat and meat is bad in a pre-school show nowadays it seems. The family loves the dishes, so the chili is the only one Peppa never got to taste, and that was only because Mr. Bull is an idiot of culture who thinks 15-Alarm Chili is awesome. Start with 1-Alarm if you want Peppa to taste test it. Mummy Pig finally "finds" the Italy booth and there's... Gabriella Goat?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Gabriella's Italian name, Gabriella Capra, got Astley Baker Davies sued for upsetting the real Gabriella Capra, an Italian businesswoman. Why?! Capra is Italian for "Goat". If you ever want to see why you shouldn't have the right to be offended, this is a prime example of it. You defamed yourself here. Peppa Pig cannot eat anymore because she's full. Oh, that's why she wanted to eat spaghetti first. Daddy Pig is like "who cares" and has a cup of spaghetti. It turns out that the sauce is a 20-Alarm hot sauce because when Aunty Goat puts the pot down, there is the chalkboard with four chili peppers drawn on it. Daddy Pig is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! STEAMED HAM ON FIRE as he runs away. The rest of the family laughs, the Goats are not amused as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:07. Fun little episode with the Llamas and the Goats reuniting in Peppa Pig Tales. *** 1/2 (70%).

Secret Restaurant: Short opens at the shops sidewalk with the Pig family as Peppa is wonder where they are going this time. Mummy Pig tells her to be patient as even Daddy Pig doesn't know since he thought it was bowling even though it wasn't. Mummy Pig claims that she has surprises up her sleeve and Peppa asks: What sleeves? I laughed and I laughed and I laughed some more. Mummy Pig wears no sleeves, although neither does anyone on a regular basis on this show. The surprise is a vegetable shop as everyone claims that it's just a shop. Mummy Pig is like "or is it?". No Mummy Pig, it's a totally normal and boring shop. Miss Rabbit herself says so and I believe her. Doctor Brown Bear is shopping complete with scrubs. Is that ethical?! Doctor Brown Bear almost always wears his normal gear when shopping, except for this time. Mummy Pig's order is three rubber chickens and a custom boot. WHAT?! Mummy Pig has gone cuckoo, if you know what I mean. She needs therapy, STAT! Miss Rabbit is like, "okay" and opens the fridge to reveal that the fridge itself is a large door. It turns out, the nonsense Mummy Pig said was a password, as Miss Rabbit explains that it's actually the entrance to The Secret Restaurant. Oh no! Miss Rabbit has gone religious now, she needs therapy and to retire from life. Everyone except Doctor Brown Bear goes in as he is confused. Peppa asks what the secret resturant is and Mummy Pig proclaims that the secret is that it looks like a supermarket. Filled with carrots, juice and milk in shelves. The shopping trolly appears and everyone picks their drinks. George goes big or goes home. Next up, the food as Peppa thinks there's nothing but carrots. Peppa grabs one of the "carrot", but it's a SWEVERE LEVER~ (CLEVER CLOGS~!) and it opens the door to the next secret room. Which is the tables with all fruits and vegetables just like a supermarket as the pig Family chooses foods, George's go big or go home is bad because he struggles with the pumpkin. George in a rare moment is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~!

Daddy Pig makes the save, as Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow are at their table. Mr. Bull is teasing Mrs. Cow with a fruit skewer. Peppa jumps up to shock them and Mr. Bull is amused, Mrs. Cow not so much. Peppa apologizes, grabs a fruit skewer and ducks down. Jump cut to George in awe of the biggest chocolate cake I have ever seen in Peppa Pig Tales. George touches it and realizes that it's a fake cake since no chocolate was on his hands. Mummy Pig pushes the conveniently place heart, and it's the button to open the fake cake door. They head inside and this is a large mistake because it's literally the freezer room. Frozen food and ice cream products as we get the two mummies and Penny Polar Bear enjoying ice cream in the cold. HAHA! These polar bears didn't hold back on their meals either. Mummy Polar Bear has got to be a storm chaser, I will not accept any other job for her other than that. Suddenly, the Pig family walks away and they are in a room as everyone stops selling the cold. SUZY SHEEP~?! Worse, the Polar Bears didn't sell the cold; but everyone else did. Cowards! Keep in mind that Peppa and company didn't sell the cold in Peppa Around The World. Miss Rabbit takes the trolly and bails to cook the food while the family sits down at the cash register. That was also funny. The background contains cereal, canned food, jam, jelly and salad dressing. Mummy Pig asks how it is going and Peppa Pig likes Mummy Pig's surprises. Daddy Pig kisses Mummy Pig and Peppa nor George do not react to the kiss at all. They are over it. Gimmick killed! There is one more thing as the conveyer belt arrives with their meals as Daddy Pig only gets peeled potatoes. Of course, Daddy Pig has to look like a geek when he doesn't try to be one. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:06. This was fun and seeing Penny Polar with her family always makes me happy, so *** 3/4 (75%).

Opening Moment #1: LEGO Peppa is back! That's all you need to know.

Sleepover Party: Short opens in Peppa's residence which means that the whole idea of a sleepover just exposes the really effortless attempt to make the house look believable. George and Daddy Pig bring out a bowl and puts it on the table. George tries to bring out the cooking stuff, but Suzy and Peppa are literally jumping up and down on the beds upstairs so hard that yellow bricks start falling. Damn, these LEGO houses aren't even up to their flimsy code! I've never seen two kids so excited over a sleepover. Shelves are opening, Teddy is trying to escape. Too late, you might as well be popped and be done with. Down goes the cuckoo clock! They do the most wiggly wormy backsplash laugh of all time, that was funny. Daddy Pig comes up and scarcastically realizes that it wasn't a giant stomping around. Of course! I have watched enough Peppa Pig to know that jumping up and down with anthromorphic pigs is the earthquake ritual. Basically, Daddy Pig in roundabout terms tells them to calm down and get comfy. I know this because Peppa was still yelling inbetween Daddy Pig's promo. Daddy Pig climbs down, so the LEGO house is more of a treehouse than a house. Peppa's cunning plan to get comfy is to build a pillow fort showing much glee that I question if you can ever calm down Peppa at this point. We make the pillow fort, which is impossible to be taken seriously as comfy since it's made from hard plastic. Suzy and Peppa lay back in the least comfy pillow fort I have ever seen and they amuse themselves. Jump cut to a ground shot of inside the bowl as I discover that Daddy Pig and George Pig are making popcorn. The popping sounds gave it away as the male pigs are amusing themselves in pretty much the same way. Then the earthquake ritual starts up...AGAIN! We cut to upstairs as Peppa and Suzy destroy the pillow fort. One of those yellow blocks is going to hit George in the head one of these days and kill him! This has to stop! Daddy Pig climbs up and nicely blows them off as we clean the place again. Daddy Pig's suggestion this time is for them to read a bedtime story. I've seen and read worse ideas than reading. Daddy Pig climbs down as Peppa opens the dresser drawer and out comes a big lamp block that Peppa puts on the table. SUZY SHEEP~?! Peppa's bedtime story is about a spooky dinosaur. 2:1 odds George will join in. Speaking of George, he's watching a dinosaur show on the largest yellow tablet of all time. It might as well be as big as the flatscreen I use when I am writing these rants. Even Daddy Pig plays dumb to assure us that it is. Back to Peppa's story as Peppa claims that the dinosaur made a big...and then George roars so loud that it gives them a shock. HAHA! Daddy Pig and George Pig climb up and George is so happy that he got them. Daddy Pig brings the yellow tablet and puts on the dinosaur movie as Peppa is happy until she realizes that there are no snacks. Daddy Pig brings up the block of popcorn and the narrator says it all while everyone enjoys the movie to end the episode at 3:08. Just the usual okay episode. If you are doing to do LEGO, do CGI instead of stop motion animation, especially since all this is doing is making stop motion look like a bad style. ** 3/4 (75%).

Mystery Sweets: Short opens with Miss Rabbit blowing a trumpet in front of a curtain inside a candy store. Everyone goes to Miss Rabbit as today's crowd is Peppa Pig, George Pig, Edmond Elephant, Mummy Elephant, Mandy Mouse, Mummy Mouse, Mummy Pig, Suzy Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit, Mummy Sheep, Mummy Giraffe, Gerald Giraffe, Danny Dog, Mr. Rabbit, and Captain Dog without his hat. It's Miss Rabbit's sweet shop as Miss Rabbit lifts the curtain to reveal a giant fruit vending machine. Miss Rabbit calls it the Fruit Mystery Sweet Machine. Because every candy is made from fruit, you see. That's not much of a mystery. Miss Rabbit pushes and pulls levers (CLEVER CLOGS~!), and presses buttons to create a red sphere candy. Miss Rabbit offers Edmond the red sweet, and Edmond eats it. His conclusion is that it's pineapple while calling it a confectionery, the only complex word he said during that promo. Peppa then blows him off because pineapples are not red, thus Edmond is wrong. Peppa just gaslit Edmond Elephant on that one. Peppa, it's called a mystery sweet machine because we are not suppose to know what the flavor is in said confectionery. Miss Rabbit corrects Peppa by showing the screen on the bottom which indicates that it is pineapple. I don't buy the narrator saying that Edmond Elephant never gets things wrong. He might be a smartass, but come on now! Miss Rabbit's promo about things are not all they seem is so hilariously awful. Peppa is in awe as Miss Rabbit works the machine as candy number 2 is purple/pink in color this time. Everyone forms a line (a qeue in Britian now that I think about it) as Peppa goes next as she eats the candy and it tastes like green apple, and the machine proves her right. Next is Suzy Sheep with a white piece of candy to match her fur. HAR HAR! She eats it and it's orange flavored, the machine proves her right. Next up is Mandy Mouse as the orange piece is blueberries, machine proves her right. Everyone cheers and George tries out his piece of candy and it tastes like dine-e-saur. Peppa nicely blows him off because there's no such thing. Peppa is sort of right, but Miss Rabbit points out that it's dragon fruit flavored. This is actually the common name for Pitaya. I'm surprised Edmond Elephant didn't point that out, since it would be true. Peppa and George go to the back of the line as the narrator is saying it all. Next up is a rainbow lollipop, let's see who gets suckered in. Gerald guesses what it is, so he gets to taste it. Gerald eats it and Gerald proclaims that it tastes like chocolate biscuits. The kids repeat Miss Rabbit's promo in unison and it's much better than Miss Rabbit's promo. Danny Dog gets pink candyfloss containing a whole pear. Rebecca Rabbit gets a candy cane with a banana inside. Peppa wants more, but one is enough says Mummy Pig. Since the adults have not tried it out again, Mummy Pig wants to sample a pink cupcake with a cherry on top. Mummy Pig eats the cupcake and says about a half dozen fruits in clusters and somehow the machine proves her right. That is one pay attention machine. In comes Daddy Pig with a shopping bag of food, and I can already tell where this is going. Peppa explains the situation and the kids in unison repeat Miss Rabbit's promo, still better than when Miss Rabbit does it. Peppa then takes an onion out of the bag and then eats it, and she hates it. She realizes that it was an onion. HA! At least this episode doesn't end with Daddy Pig eating a piece of candy with a hot pepper inside, that would have sucked and Daddy Pig would have hated life. George on the other hand, eats the rest of the onion and don't care. Everyone laughs as Miss Rabbit proclaims that thing are sometimes exactly what they seem, while the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:14. This episode was really fun, and Peppa looking like a geek when she is the star of the show always works for me. *** 1/2 (70%).

Chinese Restaurant Buffet: Short opens AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) above the houses as we have fireworks and the Chinese dragon flying above. Zoom out to show Chinese decorations throughout the streets as we see the Pig family walking on the streets along with Mummy Mouse, Mandy Mouse, Daddy Giraffe, Mummy Giraffe, Gerald Giraffe and Officer Panda as the enforcer to make sure no racism is involved in this event. The Pig family is having a special restaurant meal...AGAIN! The last one was a supermarket theme, so this one is for the lunar new year. Mummy Pig has her mobile as George calls the dragon a dine-e-saur, he needs to get closer to a snapdragon. Daddy Pig thankfully corrects him sort of and then lifts George up. They walk into a building and head to the table as plates are set with my favorite chopstick designs of all time. Peppa is confused at this, as if she never was in a restaurant before. Peppa cosplays eating with the chopsticks for a while, as George is using a spoon. Mummy Pig finally reveals that it's a buffet this time. Not that it matters in this case since a regular restaurant and a buffet start with empty plates and cups anyway. The Pig family take their plates to the buffet and written in by teleport are Daddy Cat, Doctor Hamster and Doctor Pony in the background getting their food. Peppa is allowed anything as long as it's not too much. Peppa and moderation do not mix. I'm just saying. She even pours soup on the plate as a sauce. Mummy Pig has rice balls, George has spicy noodles, I have zero clue what Daddy Pig is having. Peppa is having everything, Mummy Pig looks slightly appalled. Everyone heads back to the table to enjoy their meals. Peppa is eating it and liking it, she wants to share with the adults, but the adults act like cowards. Then again, maybe they don't want to get sick with all the possible cross contamination Peppa might have caused with her choice of food. Mummy Pig then concedes and tries it. We tease a possible yuck moment from Mummy Pig, and then she likes it. Peppa Pig wants more food, and Mummy Pig is fine with it because she would like an everything plate. Peppa adds rice balls and strawberry cake to her plate, and then she decides to grift a bit with Gigi Gazelle with the spicy noodles. Danny Dog is not impressed by this as he has a bowl ready for soup. Danny cannot decide which soup to have first, and he likes both of them. Peppa serves both soup flavors into Danny's bowl. Danny tries the soup and likes it. Granddad Dog is given some everything stuff as Peppa claims that he'll like it as Mummy Pig kindly drags her away stage left before a possible lawsuit follows. Thankfully for Peppa, Granddad Dog loves it. Besides, it's time for fortune cookies. Fortune cookies suck. They contain contrived lessons and the cookie is not very tasty. George somehow goes a chinese dragon one, and the message is that it roars as George demonstrates. Best fortune cookie ever, and that ain't saying much. Daddy Pig reads Peppa's fortune cookie which says it all as Peppa eats cake with chopsticks to end the episode at 3:07. Mummy Pig's fortune is love and no one cares about Daddy Pig's because of course! This was a perfectly acceptable episode and nothing more. ** 1/2 (50%).

Really Big Shop: Short opens in the parking lot with the Pig Family going to the large clothing department store. Daddy Pig turns on the alarm with his remote control keys as we see Gigi Gazelle, Granddad Dog and Officer Panda arrive at the giant clothing department store. The narrator claims that it's a big shop. It's a clothing shop with Halloween costumes on the side. Daddy Pig claims that this store sells everything! Bonkers/Mr. Fox: Am I a joke to you?! At least Bonkers problem is lack of talent. Mr. Fox's excuse is lack of gasoline. What is this store's excuse then?! Mummy Pig calls Daddy Pig out on this because it's a clothing shop and not a kitchen shop where apparently Mummy Pig wants a tin opener. I'm guessing that's British for can opener. Daddy Pig states that they should go to a smaller shop, but Peppa Pig and George Pig jump in wearing pirate hats and cosplaying. The narrator says it all while we zoom out to see Captain Dog with Danny Dog trying out new shoes. I'm surprised Granddad Dog hasn't arrived to greet them at this point. Peppa wants the adults to cosplay pirates in order to find the golden tin opener in a clothing shop. This is so dumb, but I'm laughing my ass off, so it was worth it. The adults put on pirate hats and put the kids in a trolly apiece, while cutting pirate promos. The narrator is turning into AEW Jim Ross at this point. Peppa rolls a piece of paper and I find out that it is a general department store! Of course! What a fool I am?! I should have known better, and I'm sorry for being gaslit...AGAIN! Yeah, there are video game controllers, so the whole clothing store gimmick is shattered. Mummy Pig decides that she wants to buy sets of umbrella. Oh no, she's got the Mr. Fox grifting two step again! Daddy Pig is buying bicycle wheels, for no reason whatsoever, speaking of the Daddy Fox grift. Peppa at least puts the stop to this nonsense of impulse buying by the adults. Daddy Pig claims that they are "steering wheels", and Peppa buys it. The umbrellas are open and they are the "sails". I'm laughing at this because it's so dumb, but it's funny! By the way, they only used two umbrellas despite being in sets of three. SUZY SHEEP~?! The narrator is basically sounding like me at this point. I suck at this and the narrator is no better. While the kids cosplay their pirate fantasy and not be as cool as Kit Cloudkicker doing it, Mummy Pig is with George at the laptops and headphones glass case area. Daddy Pig is at the soccer ball basket area.

Okay, Daddy Pig is still using the British term "football" instead of soccer. Why are you doing that when you called Father Christmas the American term Santa, show?! This breaks internal logic! If it's because you want to eliminate gender from Santa, for goodness sakes, stop calling all the adults by their titles and give them proper names like the kids! This is so stupid. Peppa wonders where Captain Mummy and George are and Daddy Pig is kicking the soccer ball into the trolly as we jump cut back to Mummy and George Pig wondering the same thing on the opposite direction. Both adults are dumb today. By the way, they are trying out sunglasses. Jump cut back to Peppa and Daddy Pig as the telescope is turned into the map of the store and they all decide to meet at the kitchen department. Yes, they also jump cut back to Mummy and George Pig basically finishing the promo Peppa and Daddy Pig cut. The two trolleys with the four captain race for their lives as I didn't notice this until now: The lack of snorting from the family in recent Peppa Pig Tales episodes. I think Peppa snorted for the first time in this episode alone! Mr. Bull is at the china section of the store juggling plates. Of course! Because we have to do a bull in a china shop reference and have Mr. Bull look worse than Daddy Pig in the dumb department. Thanfully, none of the dishes shattered nor fell when Daddy and Peppa Pig race in and out. Mummy Pig and George Pig race past Officer Panda and Reggie Rabbit as they have the other one's hat in a funny spot, if only because Reggie Rabbit made an appearance. Plus, the hats all return to their own heads, that was funny especially when they fall on their ass in the process. The trollys race upwards and meet at the kitchen area of the department store. They find the section where the tin openers are sold and everyone cheers. Mummy Pig then takes a box and realizes that it's sold in sets of twenty for twenty percent off! DADDY FOX~?! This has to be his handiwork and his shop, there's no way any other department store would allow this kind of stuff. Peppa claims that they need twenty cans of beans to counter this, but Mummy Pig decides in pirate terms that they are leaving to go to a smaller store. If it's Mr. Fox's shop, I'm afraid I got some bad news! Daddy Pig agrees and everyone leaves stage left, putting all the stuff back as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:07. This was really fun, as Mr. Fox has really gaslight this department store into a cosplay pirate shop. *** 1/2 (70%).

Popcorn Machine: Short opens on top of the party bus BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Sunset) as it's popcorn time, so yells Peppa. Mr. Bull is using the popcorn machine to pop the corn kernals. One of popcorn poppers looks like a platypus. There is seasonings abound on Miss Rabbit's table. Daddy Pig has three bags of popcorn on his person as we also have Mr. Zebra, Mummy Sheep, Zoe Zebra, Danny Dog and Candy Cat walking around on top of the party bus. I discover that they are here because it's movie night and nothing is more "movie-ing" than movie night on the Party Bus. George Pig is on ground level doing some sort of rain dance with Mr. Dine-e-saur, as Mummy Giraffe, Granddad Dog and Mummy Pig are setting up lawn chairs. Laughing and happiness ensues and then storm clouds covers the area. Damn, I knew the true orange God would taint this episode and you all know who he is. Might as well be SOL and you know what that means! Don't bother looking it up, you'll sleep better at night not knowing why it is so funny. Peppa tells them not to worry because popcorn beats rain clouds. Even SUZY SHEEP~ would have been appalled by this. Peppa watches the popcorn machine for awhile as Daddy Pig fills the upper bowl with more popcorn kernals. Apparently, the platypus popper is actually the facuet that connects to inside the table as Danny Dog demonstrates as Peppa has her bag of popcorn. More setting up chairs, George is sitting in the one Mummy Pig is setting up. Mummy Pig winks and sarcastically thanks George for his "help". Then the winds blow as I am reminded that climate change caused by homo sapiens who reject reality is not limited to temperature. George is worried, Mummy Pig is sort of worried and sort of hopeful as we cut back to the top of the party bus as Daddy Pig and Peppa Pig are shaking spice flavors onto their popcorn. Daddy Pig want a little and Peppa Pig wants a lot of flavor. They mix one bowl where one of the colors is sweet and the other one is salty. Which one?! Don't matter to me, I'm not eating that popcorn since I don't live in the Peppa Pig world sadly. Peppa and Daddy Pig toss popcorn into their mouths and have a taste test. Miss Rabbit inserts jellybeans into one of the bowls and stirs it up to reveal that the jellybeans are inflatables and overtake the popcorn. Peppa is so excited and she bumps into Danny Dog's bowl of brown jellybeans (I think) and Danny Dog lands on his ass, and the rainbow inflated jellybeans fall into Danny's bowl. I think those jellybeans are cheesies mixed with different colors, but I don't know because the narrator doesn't tell me. Peppa apologizes, Danny forgives her and they giggle. More setting up the chairs, and now the winds are gusting so much that the chairs are starting to tumble. Although, I did laugh when the wind started to literally create a colorful popcorn storm and George ate one of the popcorn crisps. Mr. Bull is literally yelling "STOP!" at the real world. The real world no sells this deal. The wind stops for about five seconds before restarting as Daddy Pig wants to cancel movie night and Peppa is screaming no. Go ahead and cancel movie night, but don't cancel POPCORN STORM~! It's more amusing than any movie at this point. Peppa has a plan: Follow her into the party bus. The adults are confused and then follow her lead. They head inside as everyone is wearing blankets like they are puffed up, sitting in lawn chairs as Peppa, Daddy and Mummy Pig are setting up the movie inside the party bus. The narrator says it all as we watch the yellow princess against the green goblin again as the movie screen is flapping in the wind outside to end the episode at 2:52. The movie might be the purpose, but POPCORN STORM~ stole the episode and my heart. *** 3/4 (75%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, Series Five of Peppa Pig Tales starts out with mostly middling to fun shorts. Popcorn Machine and the Secret Restaurant were really close to thumbs up as I thought Popcorn Machine's POPCORN STORM~ could have been ten or more seconds longer, since it was the star of this episode. Secret Restaurant was also fun, mostly for the fact that they teased a grocery store and then it turned out to be an actual restaurant in the end. Really Big Shop and Mystery Sweets was fun for the usual Peppa Pig geekiness and the shop gaslighting me into thinking it was a clothing shop. The rest were just fine and once again the LEGO Duplo episode would have been better if the sleepover was outside in order to hide the limitations of the medium. Overall, just a bunch of episodes that don't embarrass anyone for the most part. So...

Thumbs in the middle for all episodes, and I'll see you all next time.

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