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Peppa Pig Tales #34 Rant

Reviewed: 08/16/2025

Old School Peppa Pig Is Back! Sort of Part 34!

Well, since Peppa Pig the series has been slowing down and there's only eleven episodes left in the pot, I was going to resume TaleSpin work this year. An easy series that gives me great joy in terms of mockery and enjoyment. There is still lots let to do before I can finally wrap that show up. Sadly, TaleSpin has been delayed until at least 2025, because my second love and enjoyment decided to really run interference on me. How so you ask? Welcome to the Rant Shack: Peppa Pig Tales! And after the very first episode, I cannot resist and I'm going to rant on these "shorts" because Baby Alexander is back and creating a lot more questions than answers. (March 2023 Gregory Weagle Says: Hold it! I have just gotten word that there is no problems with Uncle and Auntie Pig and the family is getting along just fine. You'll see the evidence in Baby Bumps. Only one missing is Cousin Chole now.) Peppa Pig Tales is a series of short 3-3 1/2 minute episodes (Literally up to 75% of an average "Peppasode".) of Peppa Pig doing stuff without the original voices or creators with most of the "filler" cut out. That's basically it. It is awkward listening to this when you are so used to seeing the show, however; it is basically the same in term of premise. So, I'll be doing eight episodes per block like I always do until this series gets sick and tired of this and goes back to the actual Peppa Pig series which has reached eight series up to this point. How do these episodes fare?! Let's rant on shall we..?!

Editor's Note #1: I will no longer be revealing which episodes were done by whomever, since my video source keeps cutting off the endings and it's basically the same six to seven writers anyway.

Editor's Note #2: The new opening now applies to all episodes of Peppa Pig Tales as we are in the Evie era of Peppa Pig both in the mainline series and this show in general.

Silly Pictures: Short opens with Peppa taking pictures of George on a mobile phone and then using filters to make him look like various things. First it's Mr. Carrot and then Mr. Space Pig, then Mr. Vanilla Ice Cream with sprinkles. Okay, Peppa and George are playing funny faces with the camera phone of doom. The back of the phone contains a rainbow as the narrator calls them "Silly Pictures" as per the title of this episode. Then Peppa does her troll move of the week by having George look like a baby with soother and bonnet. George is more confused than crying, since in the debut of Baby Alexander, George blew off the notion that he was a baby. Peppa is gaslit because she thinks George is crying and is trying to console George, even though George is not crying, he's just confused. We head into the kitchen which the only thing of note is a milk bottle warmer device on top of the kitchen top next to the stove. Evie is bawling her eyes out on the chair on top of the table as Mummy and Daddy Pig are taking out stuff from their grocery bags. Peppa decides to make Evie look like a geek...ERRRR...I mean a banana, which sounds like child cruelty. Mummy Pig comes in and handles Evie to reduce Peppa's trolling antics during taking stuff out. Peppa claims that they are hear to cheer Evie up. Ummm, Mummy Pig already did that, so more trolling from Peppa. Mummy and Daddy bail to put stuff away. Daddy Pig runs back with chick peas in small containers, I'm guessing that's Evie's baby food. I say this because Evie is frowning when she hear that. Peppa shows off the screen of the camera phone to Evie, the filter shows them as green aliens. Peppa and George are making funny faces as Evie goes between confusion, frowning and blank stares before bawling her eyes out again! George has no excuse for this since he cried when Peppa did the same faces in The Power Cut. Daddy Pig enters and Evie gets the tickle monster to calm herself down. Daddy Pig tries to leave, Evie looks at Peppa, sheds a tear and bawls her eyes out for the third straight time in this episode alone. When that happens, you know Peppa Pig is a troll. The adults are like "uh oh! Peppa is the villain in this story and she's the star to boot!". Mummy Pig also has a carton of eggs just to make this even more fragile. Peppa now realizes that Evie doesn't like Peppa now and Mummy Pig is trying to reassure her that this is not the case. This is a fools errand.

Mummy Pig claims that Evie loves the adults more and when Daddy Pig goes out of range, Evie cries for the fourth time. This show really wants that record from Edmond Elephant's Birthday! Too bad, it's impossible to achieve without four other babies involved. Peppa then has a plan: Make funny faces out of Mummy and Daddy Pig with the camera phone. Peppa makes pictures of the adults making funny faces and then we head to Mummy Pig's office to print them out via the computer. When they return to the table, Evie is crying for the fifth time in this episode as Peppa shows off the pictures of the adults making funny faces. Evie calms down and Mummy Pig takes Evie away stage left as Peppa is pondering her next move. Peppa then has an idea as they are on the stairs while Mummy Pig is sweeping the floor with Evie in tow. Mummy Pig opens door and this calms Evie down because she cries for the seventh time in this episode. More funny pictures in the bedroom calm Evie down because she bawls her eyes out for the eighth time in this episode. Considering that they needed at least FIVE babies to get twenty instances of crying in Edmond Elephant's Birthday, this has to be a single baby record for Evie. Even Rosie and Robbie couldn't pull this off. Thankfully, the washing line contains pictures and clothes to stop Evie from crying, so at least Peppa's plan is a hilarious preventive measure. Peppa and George are giggling behind the flower pots as we head to town in the car with the family because Daddy Pig wants to go to the post office. The kids and Mummy Pig are there to make sure Evie doesn't break more crying records due to evil critics who think crying is bad. Or something. Someone forgot to close the windows and the pictures go flying into the window of Doctor Pony as he is evaluting Mr. Bull's eyes via the eyechart of doom on the wall, which the picture lands on. Mr. Bull says "Daddy Pig" and Doctor Pony is stunned by this. Hey, I would say Mr. Bull eyes are fine along with his head. HAHA! Jump cut back to Evie bawling her eyes out for the ninth time in this episode. Plan backfire as Mummy Pig decides to bring in Quack Quack, but cannot find it. Peppa Pig uses the camera phone to improvise and have Evie be Quack Quack. HAHA! Evie loves it as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:05. Even BS&P wouldn't allow Evie to cry ten times in one episode. Sad! This was a very good episode actually, despite the record breaking sobbing from Evie. *** 3/4 (75%).

The Quiet Game: Short opens inside the sitting room with George dressed up as Mr. Dine-e-saur and growling as Peppa runs in with a safari hat, blue backpack and work boots using a butterfly net. George dodges as Peppa is chasing George through the sitting room playing a game called "Catch The Dinosaur" according to the narrator. They head into the kitchen as Daddy Pig is feeding Evie with bottled milk while Mummy Pig is in formal tuxedo gear which I believe is the first time this has happened on this show. George bumps into Mummy Pig and this causes Peppa to frown. Mummy Pig in sort of roundabout terms is doing a business deal concerning her new book and it's time to play "The Quiet Game" as per the title on the table. Peppa does the old Molly Cunningham promo that clearly indicates that she is lying. We head to Mummy Pig's office as Mummy Pig has headphones on at the computer as this is a remote business call involving Miss Rabbit and two more palette swaps of characters. One of them is a black Mummy Sheep in a brown suit and one is a brown Captain Dog who likes purple suits for some reason. Mummy Pig is pitching an idea about a crabby cabbage and no, she didn't say crappy. Lots of talking ensue as Peppa and George are watching on from the door amused. Peppa is giggling because this character is not very pleasant, it might as well be Oscar The Grouch. Then a fly comes in out of nowhere to annoy Mummy Pig and this is the signal for Peppa and George to do a run in to chase the cheeky fly away. Peppa and George decide for some unknown reason to be subtle and walk into the room as Mummy Pig has somewhat gotten over the fly and continues her spiel. Despite objects dropping due to Peppa and George getting the fly, it is done in such a quiet manner that the kids were able to hide out of sight and Mummy Pig apologizes for the noise. How can the suits not see Peppa and George running around?! Peppa then yells to get the fly as the fly flies out of the room and the two kids follow outside. This somehow causes the printer to work! SUZY SHEEP~?! The three suits are amused by this, Mummy Pig is not as she's confused, claiming that she was doing her own research. Riigggggghhhhhtttt. Mummy Pig thinks she might be on Woodchuck Camera, or something.

Peppa and George are on their knees as they wonder where that naughty fly is, and it's back in the office. It's 2 PM on the clock as Peppa Pig is angry at this cheeky fly and she'll have to try something else. Why not just wait until the conference is over, you puny troll?! It's just a cheeky fly. Jump cut back to the sitting room with Daddy Pig eating a banana while Evie is on his tummy on the sofa. Daddy Pig's expression is like "Are you serious, show?!". That was funny. The narrator is claiming that Daddy Pig is giving Evie a nap, in the most dangerous position ever. Peppa and George ask what flies eat and Daddy Pig says anything, including fruit. George steals the eaten banana from Daddy Pig and both kids bail stage left, leaving Daddy Pig nap trapped because he cannot reach the remote, because Daddy Pig has to be the GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Back to Mummy Pig talking about her next book as one of the execs suggests a play which Mummy Pig didn't consider. Considering what this conference is turning into now, this exec has it's finger on the pulse of this show. Peppa and George come in with the banana to taunt the cheeky fly. Sadly, for obvious reasons; Peppa cannot do the "I'm a cheeky fly. How do you do?! I love you! I'm a cheeky fly!" taunt. The cheeky fly is not buying what Peppa is selling. HAHA! Even flies know that Peppa Pig is a troll. Peppa and George bail into their playroom as Peppa uses the butterfly net to capture a plush ladybird, which is far less interesting than Ladybird from Hey, Duggee! Can you spot the fatal flaw in Peppa's plan? My prediction: Peppa swings the net at the fly, the fly dodges and Mummy Pig gets netted. I check the video...Peppa and George get into position crawling underneath the computer in Mummy Pig's office as the conference call is over and Mummy Pig shuts off her computer. The noise was kept to a bare minimum during this call, although Peppa should learn to whisper yell here since it would have made this quieter. George's dino helm is off I should note. Peppa proclaims that they must be quiet, and then Mummy Pig shows off some papers for a floor as the fly is captures in an empty glass upside down. Peppa and Mummy Pig say it all to end the episode at 3:07. The cheeky fly is the real geek of the week since Mummy Pig outsmarted it. Fun episode! *** 1/2 (70%).

Beep Beep: Short opens in the city as the Pig family is in their car driving west. Peppa is singing some kind of train song as the narrator explains the obvious to us. The car stops at a crosswalk with Mummy Sheep and Mummy Rabbit crossing the road. We also see Mr. Bull driving his truck filled with sand. While they are driving on the right side of the road both way, the driver's seat is on the right hand side as well. I guess that was the compromise for the show's originals methinks. I then discover that the episode's title is "Beep Beep!" and the purple lettering almost blends in with the background on top that putting the title on the bottom would have made it clearer to my eyes at least. Lots of horn beeping ensues from Daddy Pig and Mr. Bull as Mr. Bull waves to George because in storyline, George loves construction. Too bad Mr. Bull also loves deconstruction, but the show has reeled that gimmick in in recent years. The drive is in slow motion since there is a pavement bump and then a muddy puddle, which now the mud doesn't stick to the car anymore. Whomever invented that telfon coating for the new car needs to win the Noble Prize in chemistry, ASAP! Or maybe not. I was expecting something awful would happen to the car, but it makes it home and it is parked on a flat part of the hill now. Moot point since it's going into the garage anyway, but I'm so sad that we will likely never see them park on the steepest sides of the hill anymore. It became such a funny running joke that they never really paid off for real. Jump cut to the family getting out as Daddy Pig handles Evie, but George is sad. I hope he's sad for the same reason I am, but I doubt it. Mummy Pig consoles him as George loves the new car and wants to continue beeping and driving. Peppa admits that George loves being in the new car, so much so that George starts copping an attitude and refuses to let Mummy Pig release him from the toddler's chair. Uh-oh! Trouble. Mummy Pig knows it as we jump cut to George in the car no selling dinosaurs from the family. Of course this isn't working; Mr. Dine-e-saur (the green plastic dinosaur toy) is the only true dinosaur George likes. Peppa insists that he play along, and George ponders it over for a second before saying no. George makes car noises again as we jump cut to Peppa Pig literally riding on Daddy Pig's back. HAHA! I can imagine Molly Cunningham in adult form riding piggy back on adult Kit Cloudkicker's back and it would be hilarious, and wholesome at the same time. Because they are found siblings, DUH! George might buy Kit and Molly doing this to get him out of the car, but no chance in hell is George buying Peppa and Daddy Pig doing this.

George no sells the deal, it's obvious because Daddy Pig is clearly sucking wind at this point. Daddy Pig is not thrilled, but Peppa Pig has a plan. Scene change to Mummy Pig coming in informing George that Peppa has something to show him, and Peppa comes in with a toy red car going "weeeeeeeeee", only somehow less annoying and sarcastic when I yell "Wiiiiiiiiiiii"! Yes, that is what me, a grown ass adult said in the late 2000's. I am such a geek! Mummy Pig releases George and George follows Peppa to a race track. Okay, whomever did the titles for this video: Ahem....blantant false advertising! Peppa created the race track, not George. Peppa's promo for this was so overwrought, I have no clue what she was saying, but I laughed out loud. Peppa and George get their toy cars ready and it's "ready, steady, go!" this time. The kids race their toy cars for a while as Peppa invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste time in a three minute episode. The track is rainbow colored and there is a muddy river with the track as a bridge. Along with a roundabout, which the cars went around once during the race. They run out of track and George sadly goes beep, beep! It's funny because all they have to do is race back to the start to continue the fun. Mummy Pig runs in and is like "plot twist, Mr. Weagle" because they are now going back inside to build a race track in the sitting room while Evie is sleeping in the love seat. This turns into Rube-Goldbergish mode as Daddy Pig is literally littering the floor with objects shaped into a race track in order for George to play with. A reminder: This is the adults fault and if they must tidy up, don't expect sympathy from me. They make this happen! We head back into the sitting room with the Pig Family as Mummy Pig has Evie and Daddy Pig is focused on the race. Peppa and George have their cars ready to go as George's dream sequence involves him and Peppa literally driving cars. Remember that this is the imagination world and thus it's no holds barred, John. Mummy Pig is driving a yellow car which is funny because there was no toy car to match it with. SUZY SHEEP~?! It's ready, steady, go! We race for our lifes as the apparently, the writers literally did a shrinking episode without actually doing one for this show because the characters are all tiny and the world is still the same otherwise. Daddy Pig warns the kids about a literal fork in the road, that was funny. So, they go through every room with bubbles and multiple roundabouts in the land of dinosaur toys because finally making it to the finish line as George wins. BEEP BEEP! They are in the play room with Goldie watching on. Peppa hugs George as everyone cheers. The narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:12. A really fun episode, especially when the creators made a shrinking episode happen in the imagination world. *** 1/2 (70%).

Bath Time: Short opens with Peppa and George taking a bubble bath in the bathroom wearing bubble hats. This is probably some type of hilarious therapy for the Valveeta flashbacks Peppa had in The Really Big News. They are also wearing bubble beards and swimming costumes, for no reason. Hint: The whole point of a bath is to clean your skin and you cannot do it if you wear clothing. You must be naked. George seems to be wearing nothing as we zoom out to see Mummy Pig washing Evie in the mini bath tub in the foreground as the narrator says the episode title "Bath Time" as per the title card, just making Peppa Pig look like an even bigger geek. Peppa and George swim around in the bathtub and this inspires Evie to want to go inside the bath. No, this is a bad idea Evie, you could drown. Peppa and George wipe out their bubble stuff and want Evie to join them. Thankfully, Mummy Pig no sells the deal because she's too little to go into the regular bath. I wish Mummy Pig would say "too young" (Rebecca Cunningham had enough sense to say that), because "too little" sounds like body shaming, even though she is too small to be in the big bathtub, even supervised. Mummy Pig is amused at Evie being wiggly despite the wiggling being more stiff than The Warlord. Peppa and George make funny faces to Evie for a while, Evie is amused by this at least. Which lasts about three seconds before Evie bawls her eyes out again as Peppa and George become bubble bearded old men with top hats again. This stops Evie from crying and she's happy again. Look, I love Evie and she's very good, but it's harder to absolutely love this show when I can watch Hey Duggee and it's far more exciting. While "Jack Of All Trades" is in the middle, you can at least make those trades look better, and if you start faltering on one aspect, you have many aspects to fall back on to try to improve. Also, I think well balanced is better than being good at only one thing and then having time go by and making it age like milk.

Peppa Pig's slice of life angle was great for a while, especially when they improved it so wonderfully since Series 5 while covering up for the negatives, time has past and they have reached the peak of greatness and thus it's all downhill from there. The episodes are still fun, but the same thing every day and even having a baby isn't doing enough because I have already seen Mummy Rabbit have Rosie and Robbie Rabbit in Series 4! More funny faces as Evie is dried by Mummy Pig as Mummy Pig still denies her the big kids bath. Evie is not happy with that at all. Peppa suggests giving Evie a bubble bath in the small tub, but Mummy Pig overrules that one. While bubble mixture for the most part is safe, ingestion might cause stomach upsets and babies can ill afford to have even that mixture in their stomaches nor their eyes. This is for the best. Peppa and George are not happy with this and one of them blows raspberries and Evie is happy again. Evie giggles and then farts while blushing. HAHA! Evie slaps water and then blushes again, and everyone laughs. That was funnier than the farting actually. In comes Daddy Pig for a special towel delivery, and his pronouncation sounds like a geek, but Peppa Pig did the same thing in the last episode, so whatever. We exchange notes for a while as Peppa has another plan: Give Evie some music. Damn, Peppa is hellbent on turning Evie into the next Baby Alexander. Peppa gets the towel soaking wet as she bails stage left, and Mummy Pig's reaction is so obvious that this is not going to end well for anyone, especially Evie. Peppa returns to the bathroom with the toy boombox of doom and turns it on, then re-enters the bath with star bath lights. Peppa and George love baths more than most real life people who love baths.

The kids all dance as somehow I can see George's swimming trunks now. Evie still wants in, thus proving that Peppa is only encouraging her, not discouraging her. Mummy Pig has to physically restrain Evie and continue to say she's too little. This was so bad to Peppa and George, that they have less fun and act like they are constipated, complete with clenched teeth and everything. They literally look like toxic men. I howled with laughter. Burying toxic masculinity is the best thing Peppa Pig Tales have ever done as their burial of American Rules Football has demonstrated. Daddy Pig has a plan of his own and walks out as Peppa is continuing her toxic man routine which is more hilarious than it has any right to be. Daddy Pig returns with lowering the lights so he can use the star space lamp. Colorful stars abound, sadly they are only in pink and yellow. Evie don't care, it's all "I'm going into that big bathtub! I don't care about drowning. I want to be on Hey, Duggee instead". Okay, maybe not. Then Peppa realizes that maybe Evie wants Quack Quack again, which is in the background with the red duck. Daddy Pig thinks this is all right and Mummy Pig calls it a "quacky idea". Of course! Peppa and George get out of the tub and Evie gets both ducks. Ah, so one of them is Quack and the other one is Quack. Pfft, whatever. Peppa and George ask if they can join Evie and the parents allow it. Peppa and George are dried off to get rid of the excess bubbles, and then they jump in and somehow they fit in the small tub. SUZY SHEEP~?! The narrator says it all as Mummy Pig thinks this will help get Evie clean and Evie splashes a lot to end the episode at 3:05. Mummy Pig also says it all in the end and this was another awesome episode from Alison Ray. When they do a standout episode like this, it stands out. However, as I said before; you got to try to twist it further and further and luck is going to run out on this show sooner or later. **** 1/2 (90%).

Sights And Sounds: Short opens inside a room featuring a red slime lava lamp as Daddy Pig is showing it off to Evie while Peppa is making funny faces in a reflection. Zoom out to show Peppa Pig walking in along with Granny Sheep, Rebecca Rabbit, Mummy Rabbit with Rosie and Robbie Rabbit, along with Mr. Zebra, Zoe Zebra, Zuzu Zebra and Zaza Zebra. They all sit down in cushions as Granny Sheep is teaching a class about the wonders of slime art that the green slime literally gets on Granny Sheep's hands. Be careful Granny Sheep, Nickelodeon is watching you and if you say the magic words, that slime on your hands will be the least of your problems. Anyhow, Granny Sheep calls it a sensory class with slime called "Sights And Sounds" as per the title card. This seems to be a nod to the ASMR experience, which when it works, it's great. However, when it doesn't work, watch out; it might cause unintentional PTSD. Peppa is amused by this and even Granny Sheep has to admit that this slime is sticky as she gets it in the conveniently placed mold in the middle of the table. Granny Sheep calls the slime "baby safe" as it only has cornstarch, water and food coloring. It is safe as long as you don't overheat it since a dust explosion can cause a massive fire. Shouldn't be a problem here though. All the kids gets a handful of slime and they giggle at the texture, feel and sound of the slime. Evie also has some slime as Peppa tries to high five with the slime and Evie is having none of it as it's too much for Evie and Evie bawls her eyes out. Even in the Evie era, Peppa still has problems not act like a troll. Oh, and there is a continuity error here as well: Rosie and Robbie are much smaller than Evie, even though they were both born before Evie was. Shouldn't the twins be in between Evie and George's size?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Zoe proclaims that certain babies like to do things slower, which is a perfectly fair statement to say. Zuzu and Zaza play with the slime some more as Peppa apologizes and everything is good as Evie and Peppa play together slower. Next up is a lavander table containing artistic shakers as all the toddlers/babies have sticks and building blocks. Granny Sheep is teaching them the wonders of sensory sounds, since they already did the sensory sights with the slime earlier. Peppa and Zoe are looking on as the adults are assisting the babies/toddlers. By the way, George and Richard are not involved in this. This show seems to have an anti-Richard kick, and it's getting tiresome. Then we find out why the shakers are there as the big kids take them and we make sensory sounds for a long ass whomping time to kill time in a three minute episode. Peppa Pig, the troll that she is, decides to really lay the dancing and shaking so thick that Evie is quivering and then needs consoling as Rebecca peels Peppa away before Peppa makes Evie cry again. Rebecca points out that they like little sounds and Peppa must apologize to Evie again. Daddy Pig claims that Evie loves quiet and soft music, so she's no Baby Alexander and I'm fine with that. Granny Sheep comes in to inform everyone that it's time to relax with mood lighting and the always amusing bubble machine. Peppa, Rebecca and Zoe love bubbles and start popping them as the babies are not amused by this as even Zuzu and Zaza are appalled by this. Evie's bawling and Robbie is teasing bawling. Rosie seems to merely frown, the most mature baby of the five. Then the big kids decide they are just going to sit down and enjoy, without apologizing for their noise. What hypocrities?! Evie don't care, she's happy the popping stopped and that's a good enough apology for her. Everyone giggles, Evie pops bubbles with glee as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:07. Very fun episode and another good one from Alison Ray. *** 3/4 (75%).

Tree Top Obstacle Course: Short opens with Peppa wearing a helmet and bungie gear as she is playing with the Tree Top Obstacle Course! Wow, I only said it out of deduction, and that is not only what the narrator said, but it's also the title card! How about that?! Miss Rabbit -- in only her second or third job in the Evie era -- catches her as we have Suzy Sheep, Danny Dog and Gerald Giraffe doing this expansive tree top course and Gerald is not thrilled about this, looking like he wants to be somewhere else. Judging by the color of the leaves on the trees, fall has started in the Peppa Pig world. Everyone walks, Gerald has the worried mouth on full blast. Gerald apparently is afraid of heights now, as he lets everyone know it. Miss Rabbit informs everyone that the grey clip wires are designed to make sure that you don't fall and die basically. Gerald is relieved and let's jump in! Danny and Suzy face a fork in the road as Peppa follows someone, I'm sure it's Suzy. Gerald stops on the left side and is still afraid of heights. Narrator's claim is an understatement of the day as Danny Dog continues thinking that he is a ninja. You wish you were the idiot of culture like Mr. Bull is, Danny. Suzy Sheep thinks she's Jane Tarzan and Peppa is thinking super hero jumping on what is the sky edition of Sinkers & Floaters. Sadly, no "lemon squeezy" in that "easy-pesy" promo from Peppa as Gerald decides to take it slow and careful and it works! Gerald makes it across without assistance, but is still behind all the kids. The kids take the right route this time and Gerald sighing because he's slow. Miss Rabbit tells him it's okay because this is a "set your own pace" thingie, and I'm fine with that. Peppa decides to come back to help Gerald and they hold hands. We HIT THE MONTAGE~ with 90 seconds left in the episode already complete with TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. This makes me confused as to if Gerald is afraid of the challenges, the singing, or both. Okay, it's the challenges. Lots of breathing and jumping ensue. Gerald is assisted by Suzy in climbing the climbing frame, even though the climbing frame is shorter than Gerald. Gerald might as well climb up the frame and walk on top of it. Danny helps Gerald up the loggie spiral staircase of doom. More spots as Gerald somehow was able to hide from Suzy and fool her. That was funny. Gerald is really getting use to this climbing stuff now as he is no longer afraid. The song is okay though. Then after all this, they have to cross a loggie bridge with a net below them that is like five feet at worst below the bridge. The kids except Gerald get on the bridge and they are already afraid because it's a little high. After all the spots without a net, this is what scares them?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Oh wait, she's on the bridge...DADDY PIG~?! Every kids here has been rendered GEEK OF THE WEEK~! Except for Gerald, he gets a free pass since he was afraid from the start of the episode. The narrator has been gaslit now because he thinks they are scared now. Miss Rabbit is telling them to calm down as Gerald just casually walks in, holds Peppa's hand, cuts a promo, everyone else joins in and they take it slow and easy. They make it across the bridge and cheer. Miss Rabbit praises them as Danny's tail is wagging on cue. Peppa cuts a promo as the kids giggle and the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:08. Yes, one of the only episodes in the Evie era that didn't have Evie, nor the parents in the entire episode! Episode was fun enough for government work. *** (60%).

Lava: Short opens with Daddy Pig picking up toys and the cyan blue changing bag in the sitting room. The plush toys are whales, dolphins and a horned shark. I didn't know Evie was into sea animals?! Peppa and George enter and ask if they want to play, and Daddy Pig ponders it over before agreeing to play a Mummy Pig pleasing game. Peppa and George are not thrilled about this because apparently they see where this is going. Peppa already sees this game as sus and it is sus because Daddy Pig starts talking great, then out of nowhere is afraid and jumps onto the sofa. Peppa is as confused as I am as we discover that this is the setup for the imagination world to turn the entire sitting room into a "Lava"-ish HELL~! When Daddy Pig yells the title card, Peppa and George act like this is real and jump onto the sofa, even though if this was real even in Peppa's "real" world, they would be burnt to a crisp and dead. Evidence #1 that is is worked lava: The kids are using plush cushions to make floaters to jump on, which would burn them to a crisp. SUZY SHEEP~?! They might as well be in a volcano if they are going into the imagination world to pull this off. Daddy Pig jumps down and it's the real world, so he's fine. Except now, he's confused on his own bearings. We head into the hallway next to the robot cleaner being charged, just making the whole imagination world gimmick look even more fake. Did BS&P have a shit fit about making it an imagination volcano?! If that's the case, then why bother having lava?! Why not just have it flooded with fake water?! That would be at least believable. Somehow, Peppa and George are able to move on just two cushions and the narrator has to pretend that this is real lava. This is so stupid, but I'm laughing my ass off, so it was worth it. George has a plan: Make the robot cleaner be the stepping stone to this lava and it works, oh god it works! Peppa and George gets on and half of the changing bag materials fly out onto the worked lava. The narrator is slipping as even he cannot keep a straight face. Why would he?! This is so absurd, even by imagination world standards. Jump cut to Evie's room as Mummy Pig is sitting in her rocking chair with Evie reading a book. I hope it's the Funny Onion again. Mummy Pig is amused and then Evie farts and it's time for the diaper change of doom.

The next moment is even dumber: Peppa and George forget to jump off to take the stairs and the cleaning robot simply puts them into the dining room. HAHA! That would your fault, Peppa and George. You could have jump off because the stairs aren't full of imaginary lava! Daddy Pig walks out of the sitting room with toys and the baby monitor, completely burying the whole lava thingie, even though it was Daddy Pig's idea to begin with. Daddy Pig opens the door and throws the toys into the closet before discovering the changing stuff is on the floor. The baby monitor is on as Mummy Pig calls a code brown for getting that changing bag. So, Peppa and George ride around the dining room and return back to the hallway, but the cleaning robot has run out of battery life and stops. Damn, and people complain about Nintendo Switch 2's battery life...By the way, the cleaning robot's name is Mark. I also forgot that Evie was bawling, but no tears come out. This happens everytime Evie cries in this episode I should note. Peppa ponders what to do, so George opens the door and out comes the plush toys. Peppa and George are happy again. The kids use the plush toys to make it to the stairs. Daddy Pig comes in and Peppa has to remind him of the gimmick. Daddy Pig sells it and gets on the cushion as Mummy Pig is on the baby monitor wanting that changing bags. Her teeth smile indicates that the bullshit is coming and it's a literal thingie this time around. Peppa drops the wipes unintentionally on the worked lava and Daddy Pig has to pick it up. Back to Evie's room as Mummy Pig turns off the camera as the camera is on the changing drawers (NOT THOSE ONES~!). Peppa and George enter the room with the empty changing bag and Evie smells like she's trolling. Oh wait....Mummy Pig grabs the bag while the kids grab their noses and asks where the stuff is. Peppa and George are screwed, until Daddy Pig runs in to make the save with the diaper changing stuff. Including the dreaded baby ass cream. Yeah, let's change the diaper as the kids smell the foul odor like a bunch of geeks! Peppa and George hold their noses and bail downstairs as the narrator says it all while the adults are laughing to end the episode at 3:08. I would have loved this even more if they just had an imaginary volcano to make the lava more believable as a plot device. Fun episode otherwise. *** 1/2 (70%).

The Lazy River: Short opens at the water park with Peppa and George in swimming costumes sliding down the frog mouth slide into the kiddie pool. Mummy Pig is holding Evie as she is watching on with Daddy Pig. In the background we see Mummy Pony, Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow sitting down in lawn chairs shooting the breeze. We also see Pedro F'N Pony running away stage right, along with Mummy Rabbit, Richard Rabbit and Edmond Elephant walking in from the west. Yay! Richard Rabbit at least exists! The kids all have water wings on as Peppa and George get out of the pool while the narrator explains the obvious to us. Even Evie is wearing lime green water wings on, the lucky piggie. Peppa and Evie have a cute bonding moment with each other before the family walks to the sign in the middle of the park. There is something called Jellyfish Junction, Seaweed Slip & Slide and...Mummy Pig puts her red star trimmed shades on because it's "The Lazy River" for her as per the title card. We head to the lazy river with Mummy Rabbit relaxing in a lime green floatation device. There is a lot of smiling face on those flowers and trees in the background, let me tell ya! Peppa frowns because she thinks Evie will mind going on the slip and slide, Evie's expression pretty much tells me that she doesn't mind as Mummy Pig told everyone previously. Peppa looks at the slide as Suzy Sheep and Freddy Fox go down the water slides. Peppa decides to join in on the lazy river, and her teeth smile says that she is going to regret that decision. Mummy Pig calls it very kind. Maybe a little sus type of kind, but still kind. So, the family is in inner tubes as Daddy Pig gets the same one Mummy Rabbit was using, Mummy Pig's is white and Peppa and George get the twinned yellow version. Oh, and Quack Quack is on Mummy Pig's inner tube, so it's clear it was custom made. Peppa cuts a promo claiming that this is fun, but looks at the slide on the zoom out shot to indicate that this is a lie to herself moment. Now it's Suzy Sheep and Pedro Pony going down the slide. Even Mummy Pig is catching onto the lie and basically says that Peppa can terminate the ride anytime she wants to. Peppa ponders it over, and then decides to stay put. If she's being considerate to Evie's feelings, this is a fool's errand. Evie has zero interest in going down a slide at this time. Hey, George had problems going down slides in Series One of the mainline series, so this is not unusual.

Next up is the Jellyfish Junction, which is basically bouncing and splashing on trampolines shaped like jellyfish. Mummy Rabbit is tending to the area with Richard Rabbit and Edmond Elephant on the jellyfish. Edmond Elephant cuts a promo as Daddy Pig asks George if he wants a go. George is like "Yes! Yes!", but Peppa wants George to be considerate towards Evie and stay. Now Evie is worried George is going to abandon her, frowning and George decides to stay. Peppa and George are happy to do this, and then they frown as the lazy river must continue through a glass tunnel with a giant spiral slide, the same one Daddy Pig went down in this water park without his glasses which just made his fear of heights even more problematic. It's called the Super Spinning Slide and I'm surprised that Daddy Pig is over this and no selling it. Peggi and Pandora Panda make a cameo sliding down the slide. Despite the frowning, Peppa is still doing this for Evie. Then the bubble pool with an undersea theme, mood lighting, lots of glowing fish models and a lot of bubbles. In the pool is Zoe Zebra and Gerald Giraffe with Mummy Pony supervising. George loves bubbles, and then past the water gun war shooters and inflatable sinkers and floaters pool. Cameos: Freddy Fox, Candy Cat, Rebecca Rabbit, Mummy Dog, Mummy Rabbit, a palette swap of Miss Rabbit (!!!) and Mr. Donkey (!!!!). Wait, no Delphine nor Mummy Donkey?! Why no Miss Rabbit?! SUZY SHEEP~?! Someone splooshes water into Peppa and George's face, I presume it's Mr. Donkey, that cheeky bastard. They make it to the end, get off and exchange notes. Peppa keeps teasing wanting to go on anything but the slip and slide...and then she plays whataboutism on Evie?! Okay, now she's just trolling for the sake of it. It should be home time now, this is getting out of hand. Mummy proclaims that Evie will be and always be fine. If it was a safety issue, Evie was in danger of getting hosed as Peppa was earlier, so that excuse is out the window. Mummy Pig has a plan as Peppa and George finally join the slides and go down them. Peppa and George go back up to wave to Evie as Mummy Pig is with Evie on the lazy river, as we see Mr. Bull and Mrs. Cow -- wearing a SWANK cheese colored water wave swimming costume to match the inflatable raft colors -- holding hands on the lazy river. Daddy Pig watches on with Suzy Sheep and Freddy Fox as the narrator says it all to end the episode at 3:07. This was a fine episode and little else. ** 3/4 (55%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well, this was the usual fine to very good episodes this time around. Bath Time was the best episode of the lot because Evie was hellbent on wanting to be in that adult bathtub. "I'm going to be in that tub!" I could just hear her now even if she cannot speak British English yet. Sure, the swimming costumes are so BS&P'ed that it is silly considering that you cannot wash yourself with them on. The finish of Peppa and George joining Evie in her small tub was adorable to say the least and it was the correct booking decision. Sights & Sounds was a good nod to the ASMR experience and it's limits to it and Silly Pictures deserves a mention as it would have been a thumbs up episode if Evie went all the way and set the sobbing single baby record for this series at ten times or more. It got nine times though and there was no reason for BS&P to step in on this one since Evie is a baby and crying is to be expected. The others were fun and at least "The Lazy River" was better than the first water park episode in the mainline series, so I am a happy ranter today. So...

Thumbs up for Bath Time. Thumbs in the middle for the rest, and I'll see you all next time.

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