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Recess: Taking The Fifth Grade
Reviewed: 10/27/2012
And Still Being As Shallow as Kim Kardasian's Brain!
Welcome to more of the Fall Assortment as we now go to the first OAV which contains three unrelated stories; well, actually two related stories and a Halloween special. This OAV is considered the series finale of the series (it was the second last thing to be produced I do believe; next to All Grown Down which is a clip show with an angle of the kindergardeners and the fourth graders) and it features T.J. and company fighting to become respectable in the fifth grade. And we get a goofy Halloween special out of it. All I have to say is this: If I don't see Miss Finster tied up like she is in the front of the box; I'm going to be so disappointed that I fear my ranting voice will just blow my brains out. Okay; not really. Since this is at the end of the series; it might not suck. At least I hope this doesn't suck. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This OAV is written by Bart Jennett, David Pitlik and Peter Graffney. Additional writing was done by Elijah Aron and Holly Huckins. The animation is done by Plus One Animation. I'm not going to do tributes anymore for this show; except for T.J.'s third voice. This OAV is one hour long and I need all the space and time I can muster to get through this tedious task.
Opening Moment #1: There is no opening actually. While the Recess logo is shown about a minute in; it's mostly a scene where it's Halloween day in the morning as kids in costumes walk around. Sadly; the ONE GIMMICK BAND aren't in costume and Spinelli isn't here at all. I guess her bullying has become her downfall. Well; not really because apparently; this goes somewhere. The kids claim that Spinelli was making fake blood; but T.J. is stating in his monolog that this is wrong and a lot has changed at Third Street School. See; the ONE GIMMICK BAND is in fifth grade to stay. How they managed to get out of fourth grade is still a mystery to me; but whatever. We get the logo of Recess and end the pan shot with a front shot of the school as T.J. states that everything changed one month ago. Which means it's time for the dreaded FLASHBACK OF DOOM...
Part I: Mr. White's Revenge Or Miss Finster's Wet Dream (No More School)
We begin this one with a sky shot of 3rd Street School and the artwork had improved since the show started. The backgrounds and such are much more colorful. Now it's no TaleSpin; but this is a lot more tolerable than it was in the first season. So we see the babyfaces walk through the gate (and since this is one month ago; Spinelli is with them this time) and I should point that T.J. had another voice change by this point since it's 2003 when the OAV was released and thus required another change due to reality intervening. This T.J. is voiced by Myles Jeffrey who started in the movie Face/Off in 1997 at seven years old; so he was 13 when he did the OAV at this point. He then proceeded to do Beverly Hills 90210 as Zach Reynolds, Early Edition as Henry Paget and Whatever Happened to Robot Jones as Cubey; followed by being Steve in The Ant Bully and George Little in the animated series of Stuart Little. Recess is his only DTVA appearance. Pound Puppies 2012 edition and 11:11 are his most recent acting credits and has 33 credits to his resume. He also did some directing and producing on the side in recent years; similar to R.J. Williams, Whitby Hertford and to a lesser extent Gabriel Damon. So the babyface walk into the playground and talk about being in fifth grade as they will have their own lockers. A note about the OAV's: Since direct to videos are NOT in the FCC's zone; it means a lot less educational lines as Gretchen proves by talking about international spies stealing her inventions. Gus actually looks forward to Old Rusty which sadly looks brand new and not rusty. Ironic is just so ironic sometimes. T.J. is interested in class because the fifth graders are getting Miss Milkey as their home room teacher. I guess she is the smart teacher Miss Grotkey wishes she was to be. T.J. proclaims that she loves kid and then we flip the scene and head into...Miss Finster's classroom as Miss Finster has replaced Miss Milkey. Oh; you just knew this would happen since the whole gimmick of Recess is brutal authority figures. One kid in the back cries like a baby and Miss Finster orders him to the nurse to get his eye fixed. The boy cries all the way out.
So T.J. raises his hand and asks Miss Finster about what happened to Miss Milkey and Finster claims that she transferred out and Miss Finster was available to take her place. So Miss Finster was planning on retiring and somehow in a plot contrived convenience Miss Milkey; for no reason at all, left and Miss Finster returned to action. Lovely. And Randell becomes Miss Finster's "paid in cookies" snitch as Miss Finster orders them to take out their pencil and write a 3,000 word essay on what they did for the summer and how they were punished for it. Well; that is an improvement from the Miss Finster from season one because I was half expecting her to put T.J. in the corner with a dunce cap on for asking a question he shouldn't be asking. So we head into the hallway as the babyfaces walk out with six books. I don't get how bad this is since most schools usually give out more than six textbooks per year. At least at my school and none of the teachers were as malevolent as Miss Finster was. We have our first whomp from Vince two and a half minutes into this thing. T.J. isn't worried because he'll break her down. Good luck on that T.J.; mother nature has been trying to break down Miss Finster for decades now; and she is still going on strong. Anyhow; Gus cannot handle six oversized books and is complaining along with Spinelli. Gretchen sees the lockers as a saving grace; but then they are gone and are replaced with motivational posters. Wow; this school really did go in debit; maybe trying to impress Paul Prickley was a BAD idea in hindsight; even if we got a wicked fight out of it from Peter and Paul. So then we get a kid with glasses on; dressed like he's in an office job. That is Menlo (Taylor Menlo in the Spanish dub of this show) who is Miss Lemon's assistant in the show and voiced by Blake Ewing. He was the one who got rid of the lockers and blows them off for complaining before leaving. Gus drops dead on cue. HAHA!
So T.J. calls this a minor setback (Ooooooo....) as Mikey sounds weird for some reason. I wonder if he was voiced by Zach Shada at this point like he was in the Lilo & Stitch crossover. Believe it or not; Mikey does sing in this show and the person who did the singing was Robert Goulet who I think did the Canadian national anthem at Wrestlemania 6 in Toronto. So we go down the hallway as Gretchen mentions that they serve pizza on the first day of school. So we head to the lunch room and they are serving cold gray mush with milk. The lunch lady who has to be Irma because she sounds like Miss Lemon (AKA Tress MacNeille) is squeezing "nutrition paste" onto the plates as they'll be serving nutrition logs, lumps and other nutrition stuff from here on out. To be fair; they will serve pasta with it on Friday as Mikey swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Oh for the love of butter! That's a good one Mikey except; there is no butter involved.) . So we go into the hallway as the babyfaces have their saving grace which is Recess. So they go outside and we get a really long sequence of events which has the trucks and constructions paving paradise and putting up a new parking lot. Oh; and they steal Old Rusty too much to Gus' horror. Gus is really good when he gets emotional; so at least he knows how to sell. They even handle Swinger Girl roughly too. T.J. is pissed off proclaiming that the school district has gone too far (one of the construction workers admitted that the district is responsible for this) as we hear Principal Prickley on the PA system addressing the students. You know; this scene shows me how uncreative these students are. They depends on materialistic things way too much and won't allow their brains to think about making entertainment for themselves. I mean; you can cosplay. It's a Disney show and they have hundreds of characters that should be compatible for everyone. Okay; Vince would require some work, but come on guys! I find this really silly and in an earlier time; the babyfaces would have countered this by doing a cosplay because it screws over the authority figures since getting rid of that requires getting rid of the student and BS&P isn't going to allow that.
Speaking of uncreative; we see that this is the policy on improving the school as Prickley stammers. He's surprised because T.J. has somehow teleported into his office and is demanding answers to this outrage. Prickley was addressing the students and T.J. warns him that he's so pissed off that he may say something worse than whomp and Prickley signs off for him. Prickley actually acts cordial to T.J.; but T.J. isn't buying any of it. I would ask why; but this is so far into the series now that there is enough evidence that Prickley has toned it down since then. And he has proven it by claiming that it wasn't his idea and that it was the board of education. See the board thinks playgrounds are a waste of money; that lockers are less effective than posters and that paste maximizes learning. I see the board has hopped aboard the WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO train. T.J. goes into a speech about the importance of childhood and that the board is taking that away. Of course they are; because they want you to be an adult so you can justify your existence in this world. At least for the vast majority. Prickley actually tells him that he doesn't exactly like this plan at all. While may seem like a contrived reversal for the Prickley character; this was actually a really natural evolution of him since this came six years after the first season. As I said before; this show DID get better; but my point was that if they had done this in the first season, Recess would have lasted ten years instead of six. It also helps a lot when there is no FCC breathing down your neck when it comes to OAV's. Anyhow; the guise is that Prickley wants to say no; but if he does he's fired and they'll just replace him with someone much more malevolent than him. Miss Kisskillya from Detention? Prickley ends this with a moral that sometimes the little guy cannot win in these situations and Prickley is the little guy this time and not the boss anymore. T.J. nods in understanding and leaves the room. We head outside the office as T.J. explains the situation and Gus panics. T.J. does have a Krackpotkin plan to deal with this situation...
And so we head to T.J.'s house the next morning as we go into the kitchen with T.J.'s dad reading the newspaper and T.J.'s mother is calling T.J. to come down stair and prepare for school. They are your usual boring parents with the male having male pattern baldness and the female doing all the work. Then a girl named Rebecca with a pink shirt sits down at the table and proclaims that T.J. isn't coming down. Mom asks if he is sick and Rebecca claims that he's always sick. His dad calls that slander. I find that silly since when it comes to T.J.'s heat; it's sick. And not in a good way I might add. I should note that Rebecca was also used as a booking name for 101 Dalmatians The Series; which Juan F. Lara proclaimed: There is only ONE Rebecca. And her last name is Cunningham by the way. So mother goes upstairs as both parents act like they can read each other minds and then we cut to T.J. in bed reading comic books. Maybe mother is confusing this as weekday instead of a weekend. One day; I'll have to do The Weekenders; but that is for another time and place. Mother is in the hallway outside as she tries to open the door; but it's locked. I do not like where this is going now. Oh and T.J. apparently was watching cartoons too as he barricaded the door. T.J. tells her that the school thing isn't a problem because he is NEVER coming back to school ever again. Okay; this is not cool T.J. and I'll explain why when we get to the big spot. So we head to the front door as the babyfaces get to the door and Vince knocks on wood. Rebecca comes out and calls Vince a dweeb. Still stuck in 1992 I see. The kids ask if T.J. is ready for school and Rebecca (Recess had another girl called Rebecca Benson who is friends with Gretchen) basically explains the situation and calls it freak behavior before she leaves because she's normal and goes to classes at high school I guess. And she has only three books with her. The gang is confused about this as Gretchen wants to do an investigation on this as they walk out. Ummmm; why not go inside and ask the parents about it. Not that it would matter since as we see the parents are just as confounded as we are.
So dad demands T.J. open the door; but no dice as T.J. has changed outfits in between shots and has stopped wearing shoes now. I don't know why they bothered to do that. They threaten to ground him for being tardy as Dad is forced to leave to avoid being tardy; and T.J. no sells it. So mother leaves to call the school as T.J. proclaims that he has taken his stand without explaining why he is doing it; although by now it's obvious why he is doing it and it is a really poor stand at that. Now it's up to fate; although T.J. will likely be in a mental hospital in any other universe. Anyhow; a banana smears the window and T.J. goes over and opens it. We notice on the sky shot the ONE GIMMICK BAND on the front lawn as Spinelli has Mikey's lunch. Mikey is so dumb that he doesn't realize that they are using HIS lunch. You know fat kids require more calories to burn guys. T.J. pretty much explains what he is doing and Gus panics again. Gretchen claims that T.J. cannot do this; but T.J. doesn't care because he's taking a stand see. Gretchen calls this a revolutionary concept. No; it's not revolutionary. It's been done for years and for much more justifiable causes than this crap. The Diggers arrive as they call this cool; along with all the Ashley clique of doom who call this scandalous. And yes; scandalous is their team catchphrase. Then we get the fat, dirty red curly hair version of C.J. Rottweiler enter. She is Kurst The Worst who is the worst kid in school according to the gang. She looks rather rabid. Mayim Bialik is her voice. Fun Fact: Mayim is Hebrew for "water". Which is ironic because Kurst looks like she has never taken a bath for at least six months. So we do the flipping scene changer as Kurst informs some of the students and a dark generic kid in normal gear blows it off. I believe that is King Freddy Lopaz actually (Warren Sroka) Kurst tells him that it's for a good cause as Guru Kid (whose skin has gotten lighter by this time) hears this and goes to the four corners of the "playground" to inform everyone. Logic break: Not even the construction crew wants to screw with the Kindergarderners as their own fort is still alive and well.
And they have all been held back a year it seems as the native kindergardeners cheer and run out with all the other students in tow to support T.J.; leaving the school yard empty. The bell rings and we head to Miss Finster's class as she has the MATH TEST OF DEATH; complete with 500 questions which are all word problems which means you must SHOW YOUR WORK! This Miss Finster is much better to deal with and I did say that they did tone her down as she puts the papers on her desk and sits down proclaiming that they should have lots of #2 pencils ready. Sadly; no one cares at this point about her; even her own students as the class is empty. So the entire 3rd Street school arrives as T.J.'s Mom opens the doors and is surprised by all the kids here. Theresa The Artist Formally Known As Frito Kid tells her that they overheard someone saying that T.J. wasn't coming back to school ever. There a kid who is in a trench coat holding a mobile phone. Yes; kids that is a mobile phone, which were used in ancient Egypt. He gives it at 3:1 odds. He is Francis The Hustler Kid and voiced by Michael Shulman as I mentioned in a previous rant. Mother confirms the rumors as we see Randell hiding in the bushes and rubs his hands in glee on this scoop. I don't really get why Randell would be so glad since there are hundreds of students at T.J's house and isn't that enough to make this a scene. Sadly; the teachers are so clueless anyway as we are outside the office of Principal Prickley as all the teachers are talking to each other including Miss Grotkey. Prickley tells everyone to settle down as Miss Finster is not happy because the students have gone AWOL. Miss Grotkey calls this trippy and Prickley cannot believe everyone is gone as Grotkey wants to find the children because something bad happens to them; which Prickley is worried about his job. Remember when he was more concerned about his promotion than his job?
Anyhow; in comes Randell who is the only one who was willing to come back and informs everyone (but not before trying to explain his thinking which Prickley blows off) that the kids are at T.J.'s house. Prickley doesn't like this at all. Trust me; this revolution is going to get worse for all of us Prickley. Randell wants them executed; but even Finster is against it because the school only allows the children's version of prison. Randell doesn't seem to mind. So we head back to T.J.'s house and T.J. is back in regular clothes and his green coat; for no reason. And the far shot makes him look like a motionless dummy with no face on it. Gretchen sees that the revolution is gaining steam as T.J. has been preparing for this by raiding the pantry and even has his own bathroom and entertainment. Spinelli is actually impressed by this as T.J. is waiting for the adults to arrive and here comes Principal Prickley and Miss Finster together in the same roofless red car. That is truly a match made in heaven...for a world made in hell. Prickley gets out of the car with the red megaphone as Miss Finster wants him to call the police; but Prickley wants to keep this quiet and short so he'll try to reason with T.J. Good luck on that one Prickley; you cannot reason with a punk kid like T.J. Randell asks if they can watch the action from afar; but Miss Finster no sells because she wants to see it up close. Randell loves this as Prickley shoves the crowd away and steps on a kid's foot and blows him off for not staying in class. That kid should only be so lucky. So Prickley demands T.J. to com out and T.J. no sells because he no longer follows orders from him since he quit school. Prickley stammers because the kids are doing the same thing and T.J. calls it not his problem anymore. So Prickley asks what he wants and T.J. gives out the list of demands which is good food (well; even I cannot argue with that. That is paste is such quackery; I'm surprised Orac hasn't destroyed that black hole of stupid.), their playground (uncreative bastard) and their lockers (I agree since I wouldn't want to make poor Gus look like a weakling). Strangely; he doesn't demand Miss Finster to be fired which indicates that T.J. must had gotten word on why Milkey left. Sadly; they haven't explained why yet.
T.J. then gives the SPEECH OF DOOM (Force of habit from the writers I guess. Ah; the poison that is the FCC...) as everyone pops because T.J. does the Gruffi pose and proclaims that he wants the school he loved back and is willing to face the consequences for it as everyone pops. Well; two out of three good demands isn't so bad) as Prickley cannot compromise because the board of education is behind this and he cannot do anything about it. Prickley's tone of voice indicates that he is not liking this idea either; and he is not weasel wording any of this. T.J. no sells it and shuts the window down much to the ooo's of the crowd. Prickley then yells in Finster's face with the megaphone. HAHA! He then stops speaking into the device as this is not going to end well. Then we hear police sirens and it's the police according to Miss Finster. Randell is loving this; but Prickley claims that it's worst because it's the B.O.E. Yes; Mr. White is BAAAAAAAAAAAA-CK! Well; not right now, but we will see him before too long. Two police cars and a limo arrives as two B.O.E. officers come out and address Principal Prickley as MacCullen and McDonelly as officers of the Board of Education. Well; I think we know why this school board is whomping whomps now don't we? They spent all that money on creating a separate police force instead of just teaming up with the real police force. I don't know if this was a BS&P decision; but it's silly. Prickley asks about it and the BOE proclaims that they know everything as Prickley claims that he has the situation under control; but T.J. is waving at the BOE and the board isn't buying this. The officers proclaim that they are taking over and Prickley should take it up with the school board which is in the limo. Sadly; I have no clue who they are and none look like Skinner. One of them might be Dr. Quilty; but Wikipedia is no help to me and all the character designs seem a lot alike to me that it's difficult to tell who is who. The kids are easier; but that isn't a better cause. Unlike Maxie Zeus; I will do my research; even if I mock the characters to no end. However; without proper note taking of who is who, it's tough.
Anyhow; the board is worried that T.J. is causing a code wide riot and one of the board members (don't care who) calls a Code White on the switchboard and if that isn't a telegraph on who will eliminate the problem; nothing well. The switchboard operator calls a code white as we head to Tad White's office (Mr. White of course) having tea with sugar as the white courtesy phone rings. HAHA! One of Ed Brayton's famous catchphrases; along with "X, Call Your Office". Tad answers it (yes; his first name is Tad according to Wikipedia) and Tad is going to eliminate this problem. So we head back outside T.J.'s house as a white haired man in a blue suit and gray pants has a microphone and there is a bug on the right which is called News 3. Channel 3 for Third Street right? He is talking to Kelly as he explains the situation and then brings in all five members of the board including the supervisor who is Merlin Brown who is the white haired guy who looks almost like a mirrored image of the news guy. He claims that studies show that these policies are good for the children and they support them without any dissent. The obvious counter to that is: citation required; or your study is from the ass of Tad White. The yes people say yes and the news guy accepts it hook, line and sinker. And calls him T.K. and a strange kid. How? Kit Cloudkicker is more strange than T.J. could ever be. How do you explain Kit's fanbase then? Anyhow; Gus overhears this and informs T.J. that he has been heard and they are taking him seriously. Mikey proclaims that his struggle is over; but T.J. thinks it's far from over as the helicopter lands on the road which Prickley doesn't like at all. Miss Finster gets all sadistic with Randell as it's Mr. White; the ultimate enforcer of school board policy according to Randell.
Tad and T.J. look at each other and T.J. tells him to bring it on as Prickley weasel words his greet to Mr. White as Mr. White blows him off for being a failure and being pointless. HA! So Tad and his henchmen ring the door bell and Mother opens the door and Tad wants to have a word with T.J.; and mother tells him to wait a half hour for her husband to come home. Tad then goes into a really cool promo about the healthiness of talking to adults; but he cannot wait a half hour because disobeying causes chaos and mayhem. Mother agrees with him and let's him in as Tad wants some tea as he walks upstairs. Mother asks if instant with do as the three BOE elite arrive at the door and Tad knocks on wood. T.J. doesn't move a muscle and greets Tad as Tad is still sore from the Whomps incident. T.J. proclaims that he is doing the right thing by standing his ground and he isn't coming out. Tad tells him that he can stay in there if he wants to; because the board is going much further than the policy already in place. 12 hour school days, loads of homework, paste with broccoli and liver. He feigns that he fought against them; but they didn't care and thus the students will suffer if T.J. doesn't fall in line. T.J. calls this a dirty trick. Well T.J., White has a dirty mind since he did say that Whomps was foul language after all. White agrees with T.J.; but he's doing it for the greater good. In other words; White is just a politician who cosplays James Bond. T.J. then suddenly decides to give up and allow White to enter his room. T.J. unbarricades the door and Mr. White calls this quicker than he expected. What an idiot? We all know what is happening next; if anyone had watched Louie's Last Stand as Tad opens the door and gets a bucket of water dumped on his head. Tad is pissed as they see T.J. the magpie flying the coup. I know this because one of the officers speaks exactly that on the transmitter.
So they look out the window and find nothing; so they noticed the bathroom as White notices T.J.'s legs outside the window and White could just grab T.J.'s leg and end this; but he chooses not to. T.J. is moving the protest to the roof as White decides to land the helicopter on the roof. Ummm; Mr. White; that roof is not nearly as strong as the school building roofs. T.J. still sells it like he's screwed as he tries to grab a shingle of a roof and it comes loose and T.J.'s grip has bee compromised. I cannot take T.J.'s peril seriously after seeing the nephews from Ducktales and six year old Molly Cunningham falling from higher heights than this. I seriously cannot. So we cut to the sidewalk as Prickley is sulking about losing his job and going to Alaska to work for his brother's lobster fishing trip; and then he hears T.J. yelling for help. Prickley blows him off for costing him his job and then notices T.J. hanging from the roof and panics as he runs in and tells everyone that T.J. is at the corner (they didn't notice he was screaming for help? Some friends these kids are.); so the babyface grab a ladder and put it against the house as Prickley tells everyone to hold it steady and Prickley climbs onto the roof. So why didn't he grab T.J. and bring him down? So they can do the obvious finish silly. So after a long sequence; Prickley manages to raise T.J. up and get him on the roof safely without further incident. Prickley blows him off for trying to kill himself with that stunt. T.J. admits that this was a dumb move; but he did it to stand up for what he believed in. Prickley tells T.J. that he is screwed now; but T.J. counters that Prickley is supposed to look out for the kids of the school which even Prickley stammers like an idiot. T.J. fully understands that the adult has to make a living; but he is a kid and the only thing he has to lose is his self respect. Now if T.J. wasn't so shallow, this would be a perfect speech; but he is so it's just there. Par for the course on this show.
So Tad is glad that Prickley caught the boy and wants him to come down with him and even offers a promotion. Prickley then remembers that Tad called him a failure and pointless and he turns on White right there and sides with T.J. Well; he didn't say that he did it because Mr. White blew him off as a failure; but at least that would be believable. White threatens to fire him as Prickley dares him to because going back to Alaska is much better than losing his self respect and being dishonest about something that he hates. One of the board members is in shock and then he turns on the policy outright as everyone on the board actually agrees with him because they were afraid to speak out. Sadly; no Teddy Ruxpin song (and yes; You Have To Speak Up is a song on the Teddy Ruxpin television show. More on that in 2013). Merlin Brown is surprised about this and agrees with them because he only did it because the experts thought it was the only way to do things; and he couldn't voice his opposition. Now this might be constructed as a ode to anti-science; but I would not be surprised if these experts were engaging in woo and quackery. I mean; 12 hour school days? Come on; someone is engaging in junk science here. The board then holds a makeshift vote on the policy and they all decide to kill the policy and thus school will no longer be crummy. Everyone cheers as Tad White is pissed off about all this because he got beaten by a kid. Ummm; no, you got beat by a principal you called a failure. Maybe you should have been NICE to him Tad; you might have won this. The board is happy that this is over and they hop into the limo for the pool party. HAHA! T.J. thanks Prickley and even Prickley smiles for him. See how decent this show can be when you don't write it from an abused child perception of the world?
Anyhow; we head back to the sky shot of the school as the ONE GIMMICK BAND walks through the gate and everything is back to normal as the workers are shown putting Old Rusty back on the playground. The kids thank T.J. for his protest even though T.J.'s protest was weak sauce at best. If this were real life; T.J. would have been sent to a mental hospital because this would have been constructed as a mental illness of some sort. Although to be fair; he wasn't screaming like I was in 2001; but that's BS&P for you. Mikey smells the fish sticks as the gang proclaims that everything is back to normal. And then we hear Miss Finster blow off the kids in the window because class starts in five minutes; and she wants them to stop having fun in four minutes before shutting the window. Vince proclaims that almost everything is back to normal. T.J. isn't worried because he has his way of breaking her down as we scene change to Miss Finster sitting down to a tuna fish and onion sandwich and eats it. She then no sells T.J. and wants those #2 pencils out because she cannot be broken. T.J. looks like he was screwed as we go to a far sky shot of the room as T.J. monologues that some things never change and that ends part one at 23:00 approx. Decent enough; but still weak sauce compared to the better shows. However; Prickley is much better now and really, that's all I ask for. Call it ** 1/2 (50%).
Part II: The Battle Of The Grading Stereotypes (Grade Five Club)
Now we segue to outside school as the bell rings and it's time for Recess as everyone comes out. T.J. monologues that the kindergardeners have actually been upgraded to grade one so they must act like normal kids. Okay; I'm a little insulted here because it makes the five year olds look like animals instead of unique characters. They are going through some obvious growing pains as Tubby (now wearing a yellow banana shirt which explains why he was wild in kindergarden; plus pants and has his hair combed perfectly; along with no war paint on. ) and Hector (wearing a red shirt and pretty much the same as Tubby. In other words; they are boring characters with anger and venom.) are yelling at Gretchen who has the kick ball in her hands. Gretchen talks down at them and Hector is not happy to hear that. I see he has the same response as a normal kid; only it's much worse when a kid like Gretchen is talking down at him. Adults you expect that from them; but not from kids. So Hector asks nicely and Gretchen gives him the ball. Hector chews on it and turns back to his normal self and both kids exit stage left. So Gretchen proclaims that the year is long and this will take time. Then we scene change to Old Rusty as it has an yellow F on it. I guess that is the mark the school left just to get back at the kids for protesting the removal of it in one episode. The name escapes me at the moment and maybe next year; I'll explain which one it is. Maybe. We discover that King Bob is going to middle school as he was a sixth grader and thus is moving on to other things. So in his place is the new sixth grader King Freddy who is Freddy Lopaz who had a minor speaking role in the previous part. T.J. calls him okay; but he's is having growing pains of his own as two of his shades wearing posse have a kid who is wearing a scout uniform. According to Wikipedia; he's Phil the Sometimes Rude & Angry kid. I told you Wikipedia is no help to me. Although they call him a Woodchuck Scout which means that someone is a maniac fan of the Junior Woodchucks from the duck comics. Apparently; he calls someone a boogerhead and King Freddy wants to drag him across the playground by third graders; sprayed with prune juice and get eaten. Now that would be a neat punishment; but one of his posse calls it harsh. BS&P agrees; so Freddy chickens out and he gets only five minutes of time out. I'm guessing that it's the Brick wall from The Story of Whomps. Phil breathes a sigh of relief.
So we scene change and see Menlo whistling while he walks. He notices the ONE GIMMICK BAND near the circular cage as he greets them. The kids blow him off; but Menlo informs him that he is Freddy's messenger boy now (so Miss Lemon fired him? Why? Come to think about it; where was he when T.J. was protesting?) and Freddy wants them to show up at his "castle" (read: Old Rusty). They ask if it's for punishment; but Menlo tells them that they will be pleasantly surprised as he tells them not to keep Freddy waiting. So the kids are surprised that the king wants an audience with them. They wonder why and Mikey thinks it's so they can become his court musicians. Come to think about it; that would be a neat idea; but Spinelli blows it off. It's barely the first month and they don't deserve anything yet. However; Gus and company point out that T.J. earned his keep because he saved the school from being crummy and denied Mr. White's quest of revenge. Like I said; two of the stories do connect; the third one is unrelated. The kids assume that T.J. will be made a knight and they bail to Old Rusty where King Freddy is eating a Winger Dinger bar; which he gets mad because he wanted a Nut Nut bar instead. His guard apologizes for it; and so does Freddy as he looks ready to MURDER the guard; but T.J. interrupts as usual. We see him with his friends on the sky shot as T.J. thanks Freddy for the honor and Freddy demands answers to this outrage. Uh Oh! I think Menlo has been lying to us about something. Freddy has to be reminded that T.J. saved the school and Freddy blows it off. He has a matter of importance as he wants the kids to stand back because he's going down the F-labeled slide. His guard follow behind him as he gives T.J. a piece of paper which he cordially invites the ONE GIMMICK BAND to the secret 5th/6th Graders Club. Oooookkkkkaaaayyyyy.
The kids have no idea what Freddy is talking about as Freddy points out the obvious to us and Spinelli demands to know what is in it for them. Freddy agrees to tell us as long as they take an oath and it's the usual "Do not tell anyone less than a fifth grader, or else." So 7th graders are fine right? I have a sinking feeling that this is going to be the finish. The kids shrug their shoulders and agree to it. Well of course; since there are no real friends that they have that are below fifth grade now anyway. Freddy shows them into Old Rusty as T.J. thinks this is not much of a clubhouse as Freddy blows them off for acting like fourth graders. Because the clubhouse isn't inside Old Rusty as the two guard give Freddy the all clear sign. Yes; there is a X/O crossword puzzle in Old Rusty; why do you ask? So Freddy plays around with it and the secret trapdoor opens on the steel floor. The babyfaces are in awe over this. Freddy jumps down and everyone talks too loud and drops down following him. So we scene change to the end of the vent as Gus lands on his ass on the floor and Mikey helps him up. Everyone is in awe because the club is like Friends Among Friends; which is a nice idea for this show. Guru Kid playing pool with Conrad Murphy who is a bully like kid wearing tough guy gear like Mister T. Swinger Girl is drinking and upside down girl is well; being upside down girl. Sadly; this is not a perfect paradise because Erwin Lawson, the Ashley's and all the former fifth graders who picked on the former fourth graders are allowed too. Vince doesn't like this; but King Freddy calls it all right because it's the fifth/sixth graders club and everyone decides not to bully each other like last year. So contrived and so forced that it's not funny. Oh; and Randell has been banned because he's Miss Finster's snitch. Oh screw you Freddy. I betcha Randell would keep this a secret anyway because even Randell is just another corrupted child in the vein of kids tainted by brutal adult authority figures.
Freddy tells them to keep this a secret from the little ones or else and walks out. Erwin offers Vince a game of Crazy 8's and Vince isn't so sure about this gambling. Erwin claims that they are playing for cheesy pretzels and Vince and T.J. join in. Spinelli decides to blow off the Ashleys for a while which makes sense since Ashley Spinelli was in the group once before in a previous episode whose name escapes me at the moment. Spinelli also brings the word teenybopper into the word usage. Spinelli; those magazines are so not for Sunni. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... And Spinelli gets giddy because we discover that she is a wrestling fan. Now; I'm not against girls being professional wrestlers nor being fans of wrestling in general; but let's face it: WWE was a cess pool for sexism on a most extreme level during 1997-2003. Now granted; WWE has toned it down to the point where the girls are at least respectable; but they are still not going to be main eventing anytime soon; if ever. If there was ever an "ever" to begin with. Seeing Gretchen ride a makeshift bucking horse is cool; Mikey and Gus having pink soda pop from the despenser; not so much. Gelman blows them off and shows them how to do it as they drink from the spout. Thankfully; they don't touch the spout so it's not bad compared to Fanboy & Chum Chum. They drip and belch in stereo. So we scene change to outside Old Rusty as the ONE GIMMICK BAND comes out with cheesy pretzels which is a sign that T.J. and Vince school Erwin Lawson in Crazy Eight's. Man; that whomps! They talk too much as both kids hide the evidence and whistle from Hector and Tubby. Neither one suspects a thing (nor cares) and they leave. Mikey of all people does Gretchen's psycho babble routine where he proclaims that this is an utopian experiment in equality and harmony. BWHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ummmm...no Mikey. If there was equality; then the teachers and little ones would all have to join too by proxy. It's Gradism I tell ya, GRADISM~!
So the kids all cut promos on the club and decide to return for a return engagement tomorrow. Gus is happy no one wants to beat him up anymore. Well; the writers can't do it either since this is the last major episode they did. So we return to the underground club as we have a montage with elevator music. Seriously. This is where having singing helps the scene; since it's a playful sequence and not dramatic. This is basically the kids having fun and making Kurst look even worse in racket ball. And the hot tub gets involved of course because this is the "kids pretending to be adults" club after all. So we go back outside near the front door as the bell rings and everyone runs out. The ONE GIMMICK BAND walks out and T.J. wants to go to the clubhouse as Vince is on Gus' case for eating and packing pounds. Gus enjoys his belly and Mikey blows off Vince for criticizing Gus' belly. Vince claims that it was an observation as Spinelli is more direct and proclaims that those bullies are annoying as Mikey and Gus blow them off because they are treating them right for a change. So some fourth graders want to play kick ball and T.J., Vince, Spinelli and Gretchen agree to it. They offer Gus and Mikey to come along; and both Gus and Mikey blow it off and leave to the clubhouse because they are treated right there instead of fourth graders. Wow; I don't like the new Gus, he's turning into the new Spinelli; only with less creditability. At least Mikey has a good excuse as we will see in the next OAV. The other kids are dumbfounded as we head to the lunch room as the TWO GIMMICK BAND are eating at the table alone while Gus and Mikey are telling bad jokes with Erwin, Guru Kid, and the Ashleys. The TWO GIMMICK BAND is not impressed as their laughter is getting so overbearing for them; most so Spinelli. For a so called tough kid; she's more fragile than Kit Cloudkicker ever was; even in fanfics. The kids decide to have a talk with Mikey and Gus about this as Erwin makes fun of first graders and sounds like an idiot while doing it. For once; I'm on Spinelli's side of things, not because this is degrading gradism; but because their degrading of little guys is so crappy that I may need to throw up after this part is over.
So T.J. and Vince go over to the table and Erwin offers two an olive branch; but T.J. wants to talk to Gus and Mikey. Both no sell as they claim that there jokes are all for fun and the first graders won't know about it because they are dumb first graders; insert bad laugh here. The kids grab their trays and decide to leave for the clubhouse as Mikey and Gus walk towards the door and tell T.J. and Vince to not be strangers and they are still welcome in the club; since the other kids haven't broken club policy yet. Vince believes that they have turned heel and are gone for good. I beg to differ guys; that's normal school behavior, not heelism. Even T.J. agrees with me as he doesn't think this is so bad or something. So we get another shot of the school from the sky as we see the fifth grade male students arrive with towels as Menlo is the king's messenger and locksmith see as Erwin goes in to do the combination and the trap door is suddenly open. Erwin panics and bails to find King Freddy since he and Menlo are the only ones who know the combination. Want to bet that Randell is the one who got in and Menlo was the mole? That would be too obvious; but it would make sense. Somehow I doubt it. Erwin thinks a thief is inside so he sics Koreo; a Latino fat kid with black hair and a red shirt with blue shorts into the trapdoor which looks smaller than he is. So he slides down the trap door and swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE when his ass hits the floor off-screen which is pointless since we saw Gus make contact with the floor earlier; and it's just fifth graders. So everyone comes down as Erwin is in shock to see the babyfaces. Mikey is so into his lame heel persona that he has regressed into his bully ways. T.J. proclaims that he has some special guests; but they are not sixth nor fifth graders. And they show Hector and Tubby. Wait; WHAT?! I was hoping that it was former King Bob here since Bob is more over than these two regardless of how enlightened they are now. The fifth graders are SHOCKED and APPALLED in that order (I am too; only for a much different reason.)
The poison of Gradism is oozing out of Gus and I don't like one damn bit as Hector and Tubby don't understand as T.J. wants Mikey and Gus to explain why first graders aren't allowed inside the club because they are just first graders after all. Gus and Mikey stammer like a bunch of bigots would. Again; if T.J. was as deep as Kit Cloudkicker is; this would be a great scene. That's the general problem with Recess: I don't care about the characters and the ones I do care about are either crappy/offensive or the writers screwed up their characters. So Erwin basically answers the question like the vile bigot because they are babies and they smell like cat food; and they are annoying. Well; it's nice to see Erwin get all heelish on them even though I don't give a damn about him. Gus is deeply offended by this as Erwin blows him off because those first graders are ruining his quest to become a big kid. What a thin skinned piece of crap Erwin is. If there was any reason to cheer T.J. on; this would be it because Erwin has no self-esteem whatsoever. Erwin then demands them to answer the question on being a big kid and Mikey actually states that he is...but he has been a jackass which Gus concurs. Good; heel Gus sucks because it goes against his gimmick anyway and Gus is so much better as the plucky little shy kid who fights against all odds anyway. And here comes King Freddy demanding answers to this outrage which Erwin gleefully answers to him and I think this episode is coming to a close as King Freddy wants to punish the kids for being a bunch of traitors to what the club stands for. So Mikey and Gus decide to take Tubby's side and take their lumps too. And just before Freddy can say anything; King Bob finally shows up and puts his crown on. And he's PISSED! Freddy is shocked to see him since he is supposed to be in seventh grade. Bob claims that he still is; but he hates the intolerance of this club towards little guys and warns Freddy and the gang that next year they will be in seventh while he is in eighth grade and will enjoy making an example of him; just to make Freddy think twice.
Mikey asks for Hector and Tubby's forgiveness and they seem to be in the forgiving spirit as T.J. does another speech about being with others and not thinking about other people in general which King Bob praises in his speech making and he makes double sure to Freddy to treat everyone fairly. Freddy doesn't seem to mind; but he does have to stick with breaking the rules about bringing others into the club; which pretty much renders the message pointless. As usual. He wants to roll them in lard and get cook and eaten by the school lunch ladies. King Bob sees this as too harsh; so Freddy decides to ban them from the club. T.J. doesn't care as everything is back to normal including Erwin being able to show his vile bigot side that is so old no one even cares anymore as he challenges T.J. and company to kick ball and the kids gleefully accept as we end part 2 at 37:20 approx. Nothing special; as they went through the motions here and the entire FCC message was pointless in hindsight. ** (40%).
Part III: The Halloween That No One Cared About (Halloween Special)
We segue to a shot of a beautiful skyline with a church (sadly no cross here) and a few houses as T.J. monologues once again. We get a season sequence change as it's fall now officially as we head into October and Gus lost all the weight back (although I don't think we saw the weight after Gus showed his belly midway through part two) as we see Gus running away from Gelman as usual. Somethings will never change as we head back to school as T.J. monologues that there is one more surprise left in store which is the Halloween special as we return to reality (no, not really) as we see the house with the pumpkin warrior sitting in the front lawn as T.J. tells us that this could have been the worse Halloween ever as we get a zoom in shot of a black cat and then segue to a closeup shot of THE CREATURE~! Nah; it's just a green skinned zombie as Gus is looking in the window; calling it the perfect costume. Gus is going to buy it when school is out and Gretchen informs him that a girl is buying it as Gus screams and we discover that this is Mr. Kelpto's store as Gus is pleading for him not to sell it because it's the last one. Jeepers Gus; you know that emotionism doesn't fly in Disney anymore. Calm down; you think you are going to have it bad? Stay tuned because this is not a Gus focused episode, this is a Spinelli focused episode which is the first one I have had with her. Kelpto just waves happy Halloween to Gus. HAHA! Gus is not happy as we see the ONE GIMMICK BAND MINUS INTERNET TOUGH GIRL BEFORE ITG BECAME PASSEE cross the street safely as we have 12 hours left until Halloween. So Halloween starts at nine PM? That sounds very late even for fifth graders; although T.J. is probably hyperboling the situation. T.J. proclaims that he's going as a flesh eating zombie the worst thing on earth. Huh? So you are scared of dressing into a costume of Miss Finster? Or Mr. Slicer? A flesh eating zombie is such a wimp these day because people celebrate our flesh eating zombie overlords now. Vince is going to be a grave robbing ghoul because it's new school I guess. T.J. laughs that one off as Gretchen asks what is the difference between a flesh eating zombie and a grave robbing ghoul. Ummm; one eats flesh and the other one robs graves; but doesn't eat flesh. See; easy Gretchen. You seriously need to turn off your psycho babble brain off once in a while Gretchen.
However; Mikey proclaims that Spinelli is the most scary because she once wore a mutant costume that sprayed puss from it's eyes. EWWWWWWWW! GET HER AWAY! GET HER AWAY! That's not scary; that's disgusting! T.J. proclaims that Spinelli always has the best costume as they ask where she is as the bell rings and it's time for school. T.J. thinks Spinelli is late because she's making fake blood. However; the kids get into class and in the back is Spinelli not looking to be in the best of spirits as she cuts the early to bed promo which is A-OK with me. So in comes Miss Finster and...and...
Gregory
Weagle: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh Boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Miss
Finster: It's hazard pay Mr. Weagle. You have to do it sometimes
to get over!
That makes up for the lack of binding Miss Finster gets on the cover of the DVD. Just for everyone's information; Miss Finster dresses up like the Sugar Plum fairy in a pink dress and she has brought a tray of chocolate cupcakes. That was too funny and probably the first thing Miss Finster had done that makes me laugh. Still doesn't endear me to the character; but at least she can be a glutton for punishment; in a more literal sense than your usual figural sense. In a mass surprise; no one laughs at her as she blows off the kids anyway, but she made some treats which are cupcakes with prune icing. Okay; that's a different way of getting your sweet tooth, although it still falls into the old stereotype of liking prunes. T.J. thanks her for the cupcakes; but he asks why she is dressed like a pink mosquito and Miss Finster blows it off because she's a fairy princess. And Randell is a... OH MY GOD! That is even funnier as he is dressed more like a princess than Miss Finster is and calls himself a fairy prince. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good for you Randell; strike a blow for rigid gender roles! He might be a jackass snitch working for a kid hating sadist; but he's OUR jackass snitch working for a kid hating sadist. Miss Finster blows him off because she doesn't suck up on Halloween. How dare you diss Randell like that Finster?! She's just jealous that Randell is a lot more over than her. Don't take it so personally. So Miss Finster wants to do some singing called Sweet Tooth Igor: The Candy Loving Vampire Bat. I am SHOCKED no one has made a series out of this. Maybe Noah Z. Jones can get to work on that one after Fish Hooks run it's course.
Vinny: I have no faith; and I don't really care.
So Miss Finster calls Spinelli to start the song because she is the master of Halloween tradition; and Spinelli no sells. Huh? The Ashleys; like the scandalous blood sucking vampire girls that they are all raise their hands to start the song. The "pick me" part shows just how silly and petty these girls are. Miss Finster calls for the Ashleys to come front and center as Finster also reveals that we are bobbing for pickles (dill or sweet? Sadly; we don't know.) and then a spelling test which will likely see Miss Finster dress up like Bumblelion. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...Miss Finster still got it after all these years. So she starts the record player and we get the spooky music in the background as the Ashley's sing the song and I'm not going to call this because their singing sucks. Everyone joins in as T.J. sings briefly before stopping because he notices Spinelli looks very under the weather right now. T.J. looks at her and Spinelli doesn't even bother to smile much either. So we head to the lunch room as the lunch ladies dressed up a foot ball players (Now THAT'S a neat visual) are dumping gruel onto the plates of the Ashley's plates as Gus is with the ONE GIMMICK BAND and proclaims that he'll be Zool The Ogre Of Doom. So he wants to be Zook's cousin? Could be worse I guess; he could be forced to dress up like Lt. Griswald which will likely be the costume he is going to get. Prove me wrong writers; prove me wrong. Sadly; we see Principal Prickley dressed up in a blue superhero costume with the words Zool painted in purple letters with a green explosion background like a Youtube video. He's also wearing metal gloves, boots and shoulder pads with spikes on them. He's the ogre answer to the Legion of Doom. WHHHHAAATTTT A LAMEASS~! Vince assures him that he'll figure out a costume for himself. T.J. is more concerned about Spinelli who is sitting at the table eating a bag lunch from home. Maybe she has no money today. Did you ever think about that T.J.? Mikey calls the Halloween surprise to be the highlight of the Halloween experience at school. I beg to differ Mikey; it's obviously Miss Finster dressing up as the Sugarplum Fairy and having a "Bob For Pickles" contest. Mikey sniffs the food and calls it a mystery as T.J. is more interested in Spinelli and the kids decide to go over and have a talk with Spinelli.
So we meet and greet with Spinelli as Mikey calls Halloween a holiday of togetherness. Ummm; isn't that what most holidays are Mikey? And isn't it supposed to be everyday anyway? T.J. calls Spinelli's behavior abnormal and wants to know why Spinelli isn't herself? Answer: Her favorite wrestler is Chris Benoit. Okay; maybe not since this is in 1998 despite being made in 2003. Oh wait; it's Owen Hart then; that makes more sense. Oh never mind; I'm being a jackass now. Only not as groundbreaking as Randell. Gretchen thinks that it's someone dressed as Spinelli (which would make for a funny finish); but Spinelli admits that she isn't herself today because of a major incident in her life. So we head for the FLASHBACK OF DOOM as we head to a pumpkin patch. Oh I get it now; she believed in the Great Pumpkin all these years. Spinelli; Linus was making fun of people who believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny; so he made up a mythical figure to prove how insane the idea is in reality. Sadly for us; Spinelli is not here to see the "Great Pumpkin". See; her parents every year since she was a small child wanted to get a picture of her sitting on a pumpkin; which is not only a funny visual; but also irony in some twisted parental way. So we head to a sky shot of Colonel Jack's farm as a blue classic car drives in and stops. Out comes Mr. and Mrs. Spinelli who look like your average parents; only nicer and somewhat cheerful. Apparently; Spinelli was actually looking forward to it according to her monologue. So Spinelli runs into the pumpkin patch and checks out the pumpkins because she is looking for the freakiest pumpkin she can find. She finds the magically appearing pumpkin after inspecting about six pumpkins; and it looks like one of those pumpkins that has been designed to be freaky. Spinelli takes that one for the Jack-O-Lantern; and then we see that she is getting mocked by Erwin Lawson and his band of fifth grade bullies.
So Erwin mocks Spinelli for making a Jack-O-Lantern out of her pumpkin because they are going to smash pumpkins with bricks. Ooookkkkkaaaaaayyyy; someone has issues that need to be addressed before he does more than smash a pumpkin with a brick. Erwin also blows off Spinelli for going Trick or Treating because she's a fifth grader; and apparently, it's an unforgivable sin to go Trick Or Treating as a fifth grader. Erwin is such a bully with no sense of sweet tooth. Figures; knowing him. Erwin proclaims that Halloween is for babies and Erwin is showing how much of a manchild he really is as Spinelli looks around and sees little kids looking for pumpkins with their parents. So? Spinelli blows them off as Erwin dares her to stop loving Halloween and then beats it stage right. Spinelli calls them a bunch of Goombas as her parents arrive and call her choice of pumpkin weird. Spinelli wants to leave now which is downright sudden even for her. Mrs. Spinelli wants a shot of her on the big pumpkin as I mentioned before like every year since she was a kid. Spinelli has the Gruffi pose on as we see the big pumpkin which looks to be only about 500 pounds tops as a blue dressed girl is bawling her eyes out and her mother still snaps the picture anyway. Boy; this mother is trying to scar her daughter for life with that picture. So Mr. Spinelli raises Spinelli to sit on the pumpkin and Mrs. Spinelli prepares the camera. Dad wants her to say spooky and Spinelli is about to say it; but the pumpkin collapses into itself and she gets all messed up. Little girls run in to throw pumpkin mush at each other; and the sixth grade bullies laugh their asses off like a bunch of Brad Buttowski's. Only they have a lot less heat than Brad has now; and Brad's heat cannot warm a bagel at this point. Spinelli looks down as we return to reality (no, not really) as she proclaims that Erwin was right about her being too big for Halloween.
T.J. calls this all crazy talk as she's getting all down because she sat on a defective pumpkin. Spinelli states that it's not even that; it's that she has lost the will to like Halloween anymore. Vince claims that Spinelli will feel better in costume and Spinelli puts her sandwich in a paper bag and blows them off because her Halloween days are over. Well; tough guys/girls are often the most fragile of children and often express immature behavior in the guise of thinking that they are mature so I'm not shocked that Spinelli is falling into that trap. Funny how Kit Cloudkicker managed to avoid that trap; although Kit has been through a lot to know better I suppose. So we head to someone's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we are at the Spinelli's which looks like a normal house. Apparently; the parents are going out and Spinelli has the house to herself tonight. They point out that there is more candy in the pantry and Spinelli is acting like an annoying little prick now. She's done with that kiddie stuff and I blame this show for all these people calling Nintendo kiddie as well. So Mr. Spinelli requests that she wear a skull mask when the kids arrive at the door for candy; and Spinelli blows it off too. Mr. Spinelli takes that awfully well and both parents leave. They'll be back in two hours as they close the door. Spinelli sits down on the green sofa and watches television called Four Numbskulls and A Vampire. I guess she's the vampire and her friends are the numbskulls now. Only; what does that make Gretchen? Then the doorbell rings and she answers it noticing that it's the ONE GIMMICK BAND. And yes; Vince and T.J. prove that there is no difference between a zombie and a ghoul. Mikey is dressed like a pumpkin, Gus is a mummy (I thought he would be a ghost) and sadly I missed what Gretchen is and I don't really care right now. Spinelli gives them a bowl of candy; but the babyfaces are here for her because they think she will change her mind. She doesn't as she has outgrown Halloween and you cannot just re-grow it so to speak.
T.J. thinks she's fibbing because she had a bad experience at the pumpkin patch and she forgot about all the times they had in the past. So we flashback to various houses they went to over the years as one time T.J. was a vampire and of course Vince dresses up the same way too. I'm guessing this was Gus' first Halloween and he's dressed up like Satan. Mikey is dressed like a butterfly; Gretchen is dressed like a calculator that looks like an old cell phone. Spinelli is a green slime faced monster which is probably her normal face when she gets up in the morning. That's hardly scary. Another house has a built in graveyard and a creepy zombie which is Old Man MacPhearson. And there is an old prison somewhere on Third Street as the kids scream and bail away like they did with the creepy zombie earlier. And apparently nothing compares to the old Gordon Place which I find hard to believe. What could be more scary than an old prison that some zombie felon could still be roaming in them halls? The kids knock on the wolf hand knocker (nice touch there guys) and we see two adults who speak in Transylvanian accents and give out candy. Ooookkkkkkayyyy; let's return to reality and Spinelli is no selling it all. Gus spits out mummy bandages as I discover that Gretchen is dressed up like Einstein. Apparently; the two are from Mass. Spinelli thanks them for the memories; but she looks at the holiday differently now and the magic is gone; due to age and she closes the door. The ONE GIMMICK BAND doesn't see it that way; but decides to go Trick-Or-Treating anyway. So we go to the same houses as before on the flashback (Miss Adelman, Old Man MacPhearson, Old Gordon, The rundown prison, etc. Gretchen has a candy and she reads to label to discover that it's sugarless. The kids are stunned as Adelman admits that she does this every Halloween because she is a dentist. D'OH! They all act like their childhood has been tainted; but that is Gretchen's fault for having too much fun. T.J. thinks it will get better as we scene change to Spinelli opening the door and it's the Diggers in ghost costume.
The Diggers act like they are surprised that Spinelli saw right through them despite the fact that they are holding their trademark shovels. Spinelli is just not into it as the Digger take the candy and even call her a grump as they are going to tell the little kids to skip the house. Even Spinelli is against going that far as the Diggers leave. Doorbell rings and we see three kids and she calls their costumes scary. The kids claims that they are not meant to be scary. Ummm; wearing a triangle of Swiss cheese does scare me; if only for a second. So Spinelli decides to wear the skull mask after all and scares the three. They still stand their ground though and take some candy and leave. Spinelli closes the door and slowly; she looks like she's warming up to the party. So we scene change to Old Man MacPhearson as the kids size up the ghoul sitting with the candy bowl and they do a team group effort to grab the candy; but the ghoul no sells. T.J. grabs it's arm and we discover that the ghoul is a robot. The lights go on and Old Man Macphearson runs out and he's upset because now he has to repair the robot with chicken wire. T.J. apologizes and Old Man blows him off because the kids will be disappointed at this. Then Vince notices that the gravestones are made of plywood. That shouldn't change much since there are lots of wooden gravestones around in real life anyway. Gretchen thinks Spinelli has a huge point on her shoulders; but T.J. doesn't care because he knows the perfect scary place. So we return to Spinelli's house as kid dinosaurs are roaring at her. Spinelli is impressed; but she has a better way to make it work as she sprays some ketchup on them to make it look like fake blood. Ummm; the kids are six and seven Spinelli. The kids don't mind as they wish her a happy Halloween and walk off. Then a wolf"man" rises from the house and Spinelli is legit scared...until we discover that it's Miss Finster. Let me guess; her costume was banned from school by the BOE for being too scary for small kids. Anyhow; the two exchange notes and Miss Finster gives her a phone number to call her when her parents come back because she wants to do a shindig with her folks. Miss Finster wants to leave; but Spinelli asks her about Halloween...
...and we head to the PRISON OF DOOM. Sadly; it looks like Third Street School; so it's automatically fishy before we even have to know that it is. The kids stare at the prison as Gus is confusing the word tickle with tingle; which stops and they don't act scared at all. And here comes Erwin and his gang of ruining fun as Koreo grabs a sign and we discover that the old prison is really an abandoned building formally known as the DMV. Department of Motor Vehicle. Well Erwin; you could imagine a scary zombie car coming out to run you over. That would be more scary than a zombie criminal. Have you ever thought about that? The kids are shocked as Erwin mocks them and he and is posse leave. Mikey whines that the magic is gone and even T.J. thinks that Spinelli was right all along. We head back to Spinelli's house as Spinelli and Miss Finster exchange notes on the situation. Remember what I said about Miss Finster toning it down after Season One? This a prime example of it. She merely selfish; but seems to be enjoying herself in a non-hating way; unlike in the earlier episodes. Something tells me the writers were listening to Jim Kellogg's criticisms about the school that Jim utterly buried in the first season; and they toned it down. Good for them; but they should have had the foresight to watch their own school from the start and ask "Should we make Finster like this?" instead of waiting for everyone to react to consider it. In fact; Finster's "Don't ever let anyone make you feel what you don't really want to feel" is one of the best moral messages she had ever said, which shows that all these characters had the ability to develop good characters; but by the time the writers figured that out; it was too late. At least Michael Eisner was more forgiving about this era because if this were the Disney Afternoon era; this show would have been trapdoored even quicker than Quack Pack; which is why I would take Recess over Quack Pack because Recess did try to get respectable and in some ways succeeded.
Anyhow; Miss Finster decides to leave and she even gives a decent goodbye too before leaving. Spinelli decides that she is not going to let Erwin beat her down verbally; so she posts a note on the door to inform her parents that she is going Trick-Or Treating after all. She lays a bowl of candy on the steps and goes to the sidewalk as we see the Ashleys as dancing Egyptian queens doing the Egyptian walk. Spinelli asks about T.J. and they haven't seen him. Upside down girl is dressed like an bat of course on a coat racking riding down the street. So a masked man with a trench coat arrives which is clearly Francis did see them ten minutes ago and the babyfaces all went home saying that Spinelli was correct all along. Spinelli is horrified because she ruined Halloween for them. Ummm; not really Spinelli. ERWIN ruined Halloween; that is what real bullies do. So he asks for Francis' cellphone and Francis gives him the phone and tells her not to incriminate him in any conspiracy theories. So we make it to the HAUNTED HOUSE THAT GORDON BUILT as Spinelli has gathered the ONE GIMMICK BAND and they are not happy about this because it's the same old non-scary house. Spinelli then points out that the house is abandoned since the Gordons left earlier in the year. So Spinelli wants to check the inside of the house as we cue the spooky music of doom. Gus is panicking almost right away as Spinelli dares them to walk inside. T.J. calls this all dumb because if they are too big for Trick or Treating; then they can handle an old scary house. So T.J. goes to the door and the door opens by itself. Everyone gets scared; except for Spinelli; which pretty much gives away the ending in advance. So the kids shallow their fear and head inside; and then the door shuts behind them. T.J. tries to go to the door; but it's locked.
Spinelli is regretting this (which only serves to telegraph the finish by doing a swerve on us) ; and then we hear growling. The kids hope that it's Mikey's stomach; but Mikey is certain that it isn't. So Spinelli notices a door opening and walks towards it much to the horror of the other kids. Spinelli notices it's a cellar and she's going in. Oh; if that doesn't telegraph the obvious finish; then I don't know what will. Then the light goes out in the hallway and she screams...badly. The kids panic and then they head to the cellar door and then notice a green sea hag monster stalking them. That costume looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fake; that it's more scandalous than the Ashley's catchphrases. So the kids try to run away; but they get cut off by a zombie monster, a vampire monster and a wolfman monster. Yeap; they are going for the obvious finish here. Remember that Miss Finster herself was going to a party? Well...Miss Finster unmasks because this house is where the party is actually. Called it about a minute ago because it's the only finish within BS&P. Grotkey is dressed like a tree, Miss Lemon is herself in stereotype form and Spinelli was the one who pulled it off as we found out that the adults rented out the old Gordon place for the party; so Spinelli made some phone calls to the adults. Mikey calls it cruel thing and Spinelli thought it was fun as this is still the good old days; which can be had for as long as they want them to. The adult then reveal from the brown cover a table filled with candy. The kids go over and Gus tests one of the candy and it's the regular kind. The kids fill up as Spinelli thanks Miss Finster and Finster puts on the wolf mask and howls at the moon as we go outside and see Erwin and the bullies get scared and run away like scalded dog. HAHA! Late season Miss Finster is much more tolerable than the early one by a mile. So we head back to the playground as T.J. monologues the wrap up with the FCC MESSAGE OF DOOM (On a non-FCC approved product!) as Digger Dave's voice has changed too. We see the ONE GIMMICK BAND practicing kick ball as the bell rings and everyone goes into school as T.J. calls this the best year ever. T.J. waves to us for one last time as Miss Finster sighs and the door slams shut for good (clip show OAV not withstanding) as we end the OAV at 1:00:33. The Halloween portion was predictable and the whole thing wasn't special; but it is more tolerable and a much less horrible Miss Finster helps a lot. *** (60%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; that went a lot quicker than I thought it would. The OAV was pretty average; nothing special or anything; but nothing horrible and offensive like the first season would be. I think I was basing my overall rating on this show on the first season and that was a mistake because the writers did learn how to tone down Miss Finster and Principal Prickley. You also have to realize that I jumped from the beginning to the middle of the second season to the series finale so it seems like this is the most contrived turnaround for Prickley and Finster; but even so; I would rather have then this way rather than having them in season one no matter how illogical it is. Besides; there are episodes before this where both brutal authority figures were toned down to the point where kids can have a decent time watching it. While Michael Eisner is evil; I do give him credit for giving these creators the time they did because if this were the Disney Afternoon era; they would have been cut well before Quack Pack did since Finster and Prickley were the worst characters ever at that point (unless you count Lt. Pug from 101 Dalmatians and Doctor Slicer in this show) and the kids were shallow at best. So we will wrap up Recess with the All Grown Down OAV which is basically a clip show from three episodes involving the one gimmick band trying to reason with the kindergardeners. That should be horrible. However; that is next weekend. Next up is the Fish Hooks Saint Hallow's Eve rant specials: Unfinished Doll Business and Chicks Dig Vampires. I am so looking forward to this. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this OAV and I'll see you all next time.