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Recess: The Challenge/The Story of Whomps/One Stayed Clean
Reviewed: 10/21/2012
Whomp My Ass!!
Well; that last rant was ANGRY~! Hopefully; this one will be happier than the last one. Oh wait; this is Recess. What hope is there for that? Anyhow; we ranted on the series debut episodes on the "Taking The Fifth Grade"; now we are going to rant on the bonus episodes (selected by the "fans" no less) on the "All Grown Down" DVD; meaning this is only the second time I have had to do three episodes in a rant (Fanboy & Chum Chum and Fish Hooks were the others) which are according to the production order: 2-35, 2-46 and 3-52. So we are in the middle of Recess now which means T.J. gets a new voice and no one really cares. One of the episode debuts Principal Prickley; one is basically Bea Stays In The Picture and the other one whomps. Ummm; yeah. So let's rant on shall we...?
The Challenge is written by Jon Greenberg and storyboarded by David Knotts. The Story of Whomps is written by Mark Drop and storyboarded by Celia Kendrick. One Stayed Clean is written by Bart Jennett and Greg Taylor; while storyboards were done by Brad Vandergrift . The stories were edited by Mark Drop, Holly Huckins. Phil Walsh, Bart Jennett and Michael Kramer. Sadly; because it's a special on DVD; there is no animation studio that I'm aware of at the present time. If anyone know which animation studio did what; please e-mail me and let me know. And again; I refuse to do tributes for length and time reasons.
Important Note #1: From now on; only the main characters are getting tributes from now on. That means only Principal Prickley and T.J.'s second voice will be tributed. I will mention the names of the voices and you can fill in the blanks with either your imagination; or USIMDB/Wikipedia. That part took up 50% of my 10 hours doing the previous rant and I'm not in the mood to waste another 80KB or so in this rant. So let's start this
The Challenge: We begin this one with a sky shot of a baseball field as we get the always not thrilling "We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher." It may rhyme but "We want a pitcher, not a practice ball thrower" makes more sense despite not having the same ring to it. Spinelli is the one taunting; so blame her for making this episode suck. Or maybe not. Vince comes up and Wyllie (I think; I cannot keep anyone in this show outside of the main characters straight and even Recess' Wika is making it even more confusing for me. One big reason why I stopped the tributes. At least Kim Possible has noticable background characters) rolls the ball and Vince kicks it off the windows of the principal's office and somehow the window doesn't shatter. We see a cranky middle age man inside with a mustache, brown hair, glasses wearing a pink shirt with green tie and a brown suit and gray pants. He looks cranky because we have the debut of the second most brutal authority figure in the show: Principal Peter Prickley. Jim Kellogg's claims that Peter is the most malevolent principal in the history of cartoons, ruthless and cold-hearted, caring more about his promotion. Principal Pomeroy from Sheepskin Deep he is not. Now I say second because principal Kisskillya (I think that's her name) from Detention is much, much worse. Prickley isn't screaming detention every minute or so; and doesn't really enjoy himself punishing students for no reason like Miss Finster does. He's ruthless; but not really a sadist. He does tone it down more as the series marches on, but still...
Principal Prickly is voiced by Dabney Coleman and according to the USIMDB: For twenty years Dabney Coleman has appeared mostly in one type of role: a smarmy selfish, nervous person mostly with money that is out for himself, mostly. The fact is he did such a good job in this type of part he has made a career of it in film. This is quite a departure for a person that once entered the Virginia Military Institute, and once studied law in Texas. The actor has a well deserved reputation as a fine character actor, and a reliable presence for almost any role in TV and movies. Dabney Coleman's early appearances in the cinema were in The Slender Thread (1965) and Downhill Racer (1969). On TV he starred in "That Girl" (1966). As the 1970s approached he became a well-known character actor in television and movies, appearing in The Towering Inferno (1974), Midway (1976), and Cinderella Liberty (1973). Television seemed Dabney Coleman's forum in the 1970s as Coleman played the role of Merle Jeeter in "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" (1976) and "Fernwood 2 Night" (1977). Coleman made appearances in the popular North Dallas Forty (1979) and the Oscar-winning Melvin and Howard (1980). Dabney Coleman also became known for some satirical movies, starring in the comedy How to Beat the High Co$t of Living (1980) and snatched a lead role for the TV movie Pray TV (1980). Coleman's reputation for playing world class jerks became cemented in 1980 as the boss to Dolly Parton , Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin in Nine to Five (1980). The next year Coleman was in very good company working with legends Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn in On Golden Pond (1981). Coleman's hit streak would not end there. In 1982 Coleman landed a key role in the classic Tootsie (1982), further cementing his role as an unlikable wealthy boss in some capacity. In 1983 Coleman starred in the Cold War classic WarGames (1983).
During this period he also found many parts in lesser known movies like Young Doctors in Love (1982) and Callie & Son (1981) (TV). In 1984 he starred in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) and in 1985 he starred with Tom Hanks in The Man with One Red Shoe (1985). In 1987 the actor won an Emmy for Sworn to Silence (1987) (TV). In 1990 Coleman took two lead roles, one in the disastrous Where the Heart Is (1990), and the other in the quirky comedy Short Time (1990). In 1993 Coleman starred in the slapstick comedy Amos & Andrew (1993) (a very funny part) and in a remake of the TV show The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) as Milburn Drysdale. Coleman took an extensive line of TV movies, such films as Texan, In the Line of Duty, among others. Coleman took an unusual part in the ABC cartoon, "Recess" (1997), and then starred in a couple of big money grossers, the Tom Hanks comedy, You've Got Mail (1998), as Chief Quimby in Inspector Gadget (1999), and in Stuart Little (1999), both 1999. Coleman is still very active, and his future still seems ever brighter as he is starring in a couple of high profile movies in the near future that should do very well. He started in 1961 with Naked City as a resident. Recess is his DTVA debut and he was in the Lax crossover as Principal Prickley. Pound Puppies as Mayor and Boardwalk Empire as Commodore Louis are his most recent credits. He has 169 titles to his resume. Peter proclaims that the first moment he gets a promotion he is out of here. Subtley? What's that? Me not know how it can exist in this show? So the intercom beeps and a female voice informs him that Principal Prickley is on the phone. Wikipedia claims that this is the voice of Mrs. Lemon; voiced by Tress MacNeille. Considering the voice; that might be accurate. Peter blows it off because he cannot be calling himself; which would be fitting for his character; but then we discover that Prickley has a brother named Paul Prickley who is also a principal of another school and they are rivals.
We meet and greet with the split screen of doom as Paul has a full mustache/beard combo and is much more jovial and docile than Peter Prickley. Why do I get the feeling that this episode is going to be a metaphor for the old expression: "Rob Peter To Play Paul"? Paul Prickly is voiced by Martin Mull by the way. Sorry Martin Mull; you'll have to wait until a better show comes around. Maybe if you cameo Phineas & Ferb; you might get your chance. Paul talks about Peter's wit as he decides to cut to the chase and inform Peter that he is coming to visit Third Street School. Did Paul's school ever have a name? I don't recall him mentioning it in the promo he cut. That is just sad when they couldn't call the school by any name. I would have gone with Ironic Street School just for high comedy. Sadly; these writers seemly have no clue; or just don't care at this point. Peter panics a bit as he sees it as no problem while rambling on about Paul's ability to make him look bad. HA! I doubt Paul needs to do that to you Peter; since you do a great job of making yourself look bad. Peter decides to let him visit and they both hang up the phones. Peter screams for Mrs. Lemon and we then begin a sequence in which Peter Prickey brings out the big guns; which is trucks of cleaners, sod layers (who bury Spinelli's football and almost bury her in the process. HAHA!), painters, and a bathroom that looks so rich that it makes all those dirty government officials look like penny pinchers. Yes; complete with the late Tony Jay voiced butler. So was Chuck McCann busy or something? Mikey and Gus are as confused about all this as I am. So we scene change to the trucks all leaving and in comes a black limo pulling in. We then cut to the front of the school as Mrs. Lemon (an old lady wearing a yellow shirt. Peter I think addressed her as Trlease or something along those lines) calls this a close shave. A limo driver wearing all black with gray gloves and glasses opens the door and out comes the more lovable Principal Paul Prickley in the flesh.
He also brought his middle age posse of men out to back him back which is probably to keep Miss Finster at bay. If so; my respect for Paul has gone up about three notches. Peter actually has enough heart to welcome Paul; but Paul ignores it and comments on his flagpole being bigger than Peter's flagpole. HAHA! It's difficult to take Peter seriously as a caring guy when he has been a cardboard cutout throughout the first season; as a cranky cold-hearted man who needs only slightly less help than Miss Finster; and slightly more than Miss Lemon. Peter offers to show him around and Paul gets to walk in front of him; but Paul calls it the story of Peter's life. HAHA! So we head to the lunch room as Paul is eating steak and veggies which look to be the good food T.J. was attempting to steal. Peter explains the meal to us and Paul proclaims that his chef is decent; but he sucked the flavor out of the steak and that his chef graduated from the Cordone Bleu. HAHA! Paul is becoming more and more babyface-ish by the second and I have a bad feeling about this because the finish has to have Peter Prickley winning this war somehow. Peter tells Miss Finster to 86 somebody and then we head back to the kick ball field (Look; kick ball is awesome, but it's in the wrong show to try to get over in Disney. Just saying.) as we finally see T.J. talking about how to win the game. This season; T.J. is voiced by Andrew Lawrence who started on Blossom as various characters in 1991 and then as Donnie Graham in Tom. He then followed it up with Brotherly Love, Horse Sense, Tucker and Jumping Ship. Recess is his DTVA debut and was the voice in the Lax crossover with Lilo & Stitch. He has 48 titles to his resume and Blowing Vegas Off The Map and Confessions of a Womanizer are his most recent credits. He also appeared on Dancing With The Stars in 2006. Cannot forget that. Gretchen has a prototype of a smart phone and she discovers that third base is played by a female player named Tracy Logan who Gretchen calls the worst athlete in school. Gretchen also points out that she plays too deep which she informs Gus who is up to kicking at home plate. Gus's job is butt it to the left line for the easy single.
Gus gets it as the doors open and out comes the Prickley Principals. HA! I made a funnie! They exchange notes for a while as they walk on the playground towards the baseball field and he hears the laughter and jumping. So he goes over there and blows them off because the field is rented. Geez; where is Prickley getting his ideas from? Thembria? Paul still cheers for the kids which causes Peter to act nice and weasel wording everything he does while doing it. Paul is just exposing the main authority figure in this school for what he is: a weasel in human skin. He claims that scouts from Lincoln Middle School are recruiting right now; which we all know is a bald-face lie; so Paul raises Washington High School giving him the limo to get dabs on his students. So we get the adult argument of doom; only it's at least on teenager level instead of the usual playground level insults. On the other hand; they are on a playground so the later would have been more fitting. Sigh. Anyhow; the end result is that Paul wants to make a friendly wager with Third Street Vs. Whatever School and the loser has to wash the winner's car at the loser's school; while wearing a swim suit during Recess. Okay; now THAT's a good wager. Both accept and invoke eye contact violence on each other before leaving in a huff. The ONE GIMMICK BAND has no clue what just happened. So we head in the street with the Third Street Bus as we head inside with the babyfaces all wear purple jerseys. Spinelli suddenly is enjoying this idea of getting out of school and playing kick ball in a competition. Mikey finally has a uniform that fits. Peter Prickley does his speech and acts like the worst coach you have ever seen. The ruthlessness and cold hearted soul is oozing out of him at this point. The kids look shocked which shows that they have never been in organized sports before. Oh; and he weasels out by telling them to have fun. Oh yeah; sure...
So we head to Whatever School which looks to like an Ivy League School judging by the cannon in the front. So we get a sequence of Paul doing the exact same spots as Peter earlier in the episode (Does this contradict the "Great Minds Think For Themselves" Genie segments already?) and even remembers to get a 50-foot flagpole just to rub it into Peter. HAHA! He calls it beautiful. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Anyhow; the bus arrives and out comes the ONE GIMMICK BAND. So they are going to play kick ball with only six players. You need three in the outfield, three in the infield and one is the pitcher. Unless Peter Prickley is the pitcher here which would be hilarious; but sadly, I doubt that will happen. Paul keeps rubbing it in that his school is going to win and he offers the kids the way to the kick ball field. Peter blows off the flagpole of course as we head to the playground. Logic break: Now the whole point of the show is to show that Paul's school is basically a more docile and friendly version of Third Street School; so everyone in the school is a perfect double of the characters in Third Street School. Sadly; they kill the continuity they were shooting for in the first shot because the school itself looks nothing like Third Street. After that; it's fine as we see W-Upside Down Girl who is African American; the W-Guru Kid who is not only promotes racism; but weighism too! And Gus falls into DA...HOLE (SLURP!). And the diggers are girls by the way and they are shallow diggers. Gus climbs out looking panicky as we head to the kickball field as Paul is addressing the crowd and remember to lower his voice everything he mentions "lambs to the slaughter", "losers" and "home team" just to show Peter that he can one up him in the weasel wording department as well. There is a decent crowd on hand (which Paul explains are the students of his school whom he gave the day off to watch the game) too.
Gus runs over to the ONE GIMMICK BAND and informs them that something is wrong about this school. Everyone claims that it's pre-game jitters and Spinelli tells him to can it. So Paul introduces the home team and Spinelli does the silliest spit take ever as we see that the team is basically a mirrored version of the ONE GIMMICK BAND. Only Spinelli's double has blond hair and is white. Vince's is blond and white. Gretchen's double has black skin and Gus' double is basically Vince with glasses on. Gus panics again (the same guy who already saw the connection is surprised?) as I finally discover that this is 98th Street School. Why not 97th Street? I mean 97+3=100. Idiots! Mikey is Asian and T.J. thinks that there is a logical explanation for this. Ummm; this is Recess. You expect logic and reason T.J. Oh; and Paul finally introduces C.J. Rottwieler which you would think is a rabid dog; right? Nope; it's a girl with red curly hair. So that's Charlie Brown's so-called future girlfriend? C.J. Rottwieler is voiced by Alex McKenna by the way, Greta is voiced by Christine Cavanaugh, Regaili is voiced by E.G. Daily, Vance , Russ Rimple, and Mickey I don't believe spoke in this one; but who knows. Mikey proclaims that they have met the enemy and they are them. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. T.J. proclaims that they aren't playing their clones or anything so it might be creepy; but they can prevail. The umpire yells batter up. Ummm; don't you mean "kick up"? So Spinelli steps up to the plate and Regaili is taunting her as a nose picker. Okay; that was different and made even better when Regaili and Spinelli argue at each other. Death reference #1 ensues which still begs the question: FCC safe or not? The umpire comes in and calls them both monkeys. Isn't that...racist? Wonder if Toon Disney snipped that one out during their airing on television?
So we return as the visiting team is kicking the ball into the air; but the Doubles seem to be there every single time to catch it. Oh; we ARE going for the draw finish now because if they are exact mirrored clones of the opposing side; then it HAS to end in a 0-0 draw and both adults have to do the job so to speak. So Vince comes up as the Getcha calls for time and we get the huddle. The babyfaces blow it off anyway as we return to the game and Vince kicks the ball into the air and the guy moves slightly to the right to catch it for the third out. Paul calls Peter a half pint and Peter blows him off because he's a full pint. Geez; Peter got set up for that insult, didn't he? Anyhow; T.J. gets the team to huddle together and proclaims that they can counter them too as we get various shots of each team trying to deliver the knockout blow; but the opposing team keeps catching the ball and getting everyone out. So Vince and Vance take it to the air and each get a home run to end the shutout; but it's still tied 1-1 after five innings. The adults rib each other for fun and misery. I'll leave that as an exercise to the reader. The crowd pops for the home team and cheers the visiting team too. Huh? Doesn't that telegraph the draw finish? Oh well; the play already gave that away. So Peter and Paul call for time as they blow off the team mates for lollygagging and demands that they score runs or it's a State Flowers quiz for third street and State Birds quiz for 97th street. Wait; so the principals can do that? I can imagine Miss Finster doing it even if Third Street wins because it's Miss Finster. Anyhow; we return to the game and nothing changes as it's still tied 1-1 after five innings. Huh? Shouldn't it be after six innings. Logic break #2 right there folks. So we scene change to T.J. and C.J. giving the same pep talk about beating the other team. This episode is not bad so far actually. And Paul is not as much a jackass as Peter. Get over yourself and play. So it's now 2-1 in the bottom of the sixth and Gus is up to the plate. Logic break: If it's the bottom of the inning; then the home team would be up which would be 98th Street. How could you make such an obvious mistake there guys?! Have you ever seen baseball before?
Anyhow; Gus must win to not get an extra year of fourth grade and Russ gets two if he fails. So C.J. throws the ball and Gus doesn't even bother to kick it. Umpire calls strike one anyway as it was clearly in the middle of the plate. Peter protests this as too bouncy and the umpire reverses his call. Huh? In real life; the umpire would stand by his call. The umpire is in Peter's back pocket. Paul rightfully protests this outrage and then the adults continue to brow beat each other. C.J. and T.J. look at each other; sigh and then T.J. walks to the mound and talks to C.J. and then shakes hand as both team join while Paul does a great job selling the LA-LA-LA I can't hear you spot while Peter calls him a pumpkin eater. Somehow; I think Paul can eat pumpkins and like them so Peter; you are WEAK! So C.J. turns to the adults and tells them that they have an announcement to make. The kids agree to end it in a draw and the adults explode. Well; not literally anyway. Okay; this would have worked better; if 98th Street wasn't up 2-1 when the visiting team went up to the plate. A forfeit should make 98th Street win the match then. See what happens when you create breaks of logic? The kids blows off the adults with the FCC approved message which is kids want to have fun and get out of school. And really; that is the best message ever. The kids cheer and leave as the adults argue like a bunch of manchildren. Why should they be upset? They didn't lose the game. Sure; they didn't win, but at least they don't have to wash each others' car in a bathing suit during Recess since neither of them lost...
Homer:
Yes they do! They didn't win; so they are losers!
Lisa:
Gregory? I'm usually on your side in these rants; but I have to agree
with my dad. In sports; it's a zero sum game sir; so if there isn't a
winner; then there must always be losers.
Gregory:
Dammit! I don't want to see either principal in a bathing suit
washing their car. It's unseemly.
Lisa:
Speak for yourself Gregory.
Thankfully; they shove and bump each other and we get a *** 3/4 fight on the ball field and punches are thrown; but none in face. They tumble like a bunch of kids and since they are acting like kids it's apporos. So the kids all decide to blow off the adults and head to the jungle gym as it's Old Krusty here; when it's Old Rusty on Third Street. So the adults roll on the ground on the sky shot as the kids bail stage left and we end the episode at 10:30. YAHOO! Neither one has to wash the car in a bathing suit; or at least I don't have to see it. Homer: D'OH! This was actually perfectly acceptable cartooning and Paul was game for showing that he can be a likable jackass so call it *** (60%).
The Story of Whomps: Oh goody! The "swearing" episode! We begin this one with a sky shot of the school as the clock finally sezs 10 o'clock which means Recess which means everyone stampedes out. So we see T.J. blowing off Erwin Lawson who is just another clonish dumb kid like Wyllie as they are playing baseball. Regular baseball? So they buried Kick Ball already? Erwin isn't backing down from T.J. and really; who wouldn't back down from T.J.? Answer: Vince of course because he's not a white, angry male. So we discover that the fourth graders got creamed by the fifth graders in the last game and Spinelli mentions their batting practice. T.J. then proclaims that fifth graders suck; only he doesn't say suck. Actually; he sezs whomp. Basically; T.J. uses it as an alternative word for sucks; like the Quack Pack nephews saying munches. Okay; now I am offended. Not because T.J. said an alternative to a word that DTVA will not allow (suck is on the forbidden list in the context of saying: This sucks! You can say bloodsucker, or sucking the life out of me or something among those lines); but because he said a word which is based on a Jaleco video game called Whomp'em which features racial overtones; but because he blew off a bunch of fifth graders because he's jealous of them beating the "suck" out of this posse last year. I'm sorry fans; but Spongebob Squarepants does these episode much better because they used a "legit swear word" and they bleeped with a dolphin cry. That cry was awesome; it reminds me of Bizarre. Oh and Erwin Lawson is voiced by Erik Von Detten in case anyone gives an "elf". (Erwin: What did you say?) Erwin is pissed and want to beat T.J.'s face in and I don't blame him. Not because he said whomp, but because T.J. is jealous of Erwin's ability to squash fourth graders like peas. Spinelli has to break it up (Oh the irony!) as we discover that T.J. owns a word named whomp and the kids agree that T.J. is swearing. But it's a word that doesn't mean anything. Oh really? According to Wikipedia; it means beat up. So we go to the flashback of doom and we get a young T.J. and a young Vince staring at a brick wall. Apparently; they were sent there for saying boogerhead. You call that swearing? I swear to God that this school is boring. So Vince and T.J. scheme up a way to make up a word that isn't considered offensive and meaningless so they can skip "The Wall".
So they come up with some booking names; but none of them are meaningless and/nor offensive. T.J. claims that this whomps; and Vince proclaims that whomps is a perfect word to use. They slap skin and Miss Finter yells at them as they turn their back and stare at the wall. We return to reality (if this is reality; then we have the perfect blame for every awful thing the Republican party ever did in the last ten years. Or maybe not) as Erwin is confused and the bell rings. Erwin blows it off because this boring story made them miss Recess. T.J. claims that this whomps and Miss Finster comes in OUT OF NOWHERE and sounds like she wants to kill T.J. I guess whomps is Miss Finster's trigger word to mean "KILL THAT KID". Come to think about; Miss Finster killing a kid would complete the character Jim Kellogg was shooting for in her. You can pretty much guess what happens next because in Miss Finster's world; words mean things even when they don't. It's the old "EWWWW! Gross!" thing. Personally; I would agree with her if she was doing it because T.J. is jealous of fifth graders; but I guess even Miss Finster would lose her job if that happened. This school board whomps (Miss Finster: What did you say? Gregory: I said this school board is horrible. Miss Finster: Actually; you have a point there sir. Too bad you're not a student; you would make great cannon fodder for me. Gregory: Thanks; I think. Miss Finster: Just call the episode already!)! And I think this is the first time we hear the word potty being used. Anyhow; Gus panics because bad language is an automatic level four detention. The kids ask how bad it could be since he used a word that is meaningless. So we go to Principal Prickley's office and get that standard "bad language is bad because it undermines authority and is lazy" speech that even adults today wouldn't be as T.J. cannot get a word in edge wise. So T.J. gets a level five detention and T.J. claims that this; you guessed it. So T.J. gets level 6 instead and Prickley dares him to push him further.
So we scene change to outside as the bell rings for 4 o'clock. The kids are outside as T.J. comes out with Prickley as whomps is on the ban list. I wish this show was on there too; but it's over so there you go. The kids ask if he's all right and T.J. claims that he's not. Not because they didn't allow him to do his homework or use the bathroom. Huh? Not allowed to do homework? Wouldn't the perfect punishment be piling on more homework? T.J. is pissed because they stole a word and defamed it just because they have the authority. So T.J. is cooking up a scheme as his plan is that two can play at that game; or 200 kids. I'm guessing that he means that the plan is to get everyone to say whomps and have level five detention instead. Because I don't see how getting all the kids in detention is going to mean anything. So we go to various scenes of the ONE GIMMICK BAND saying whomp; but using it in various different contexts like the Whompers. Which is a neat booking name. And the babyfaces cheers?! What is this supposed to accomplish?! I don't get it and it isn't going to work. See; Fish Hooks was more enjoyable because the montages had music and it makes it easier for me to get through them since it's easier to watch than it is to call. Each time; everyone goes to the principal's office and with smirks on their faces. Spinelli's one is probably the best one as she fakes squashing her finger inside the desk in Miss Grotkey's class. She has that look of "This forbidden word rule is REALLY STUPID". So this goes on for a long ass whomping time. See what I did there? (Miss Finster: I hate it when we cannot send Gregory to the principal's office because he's not a kid and he's not from our school or any school in America. Prickley: Don't worry; the kids are getting what they deserve. Gregory: Like I care? Prickley/Miss Finster: This whomps...Ooops!). This is also the debut of the vain and cocky Ashley siblings: first name Ashley; last name B./Q./T. (Boulet/ Quinlan/ Tomassian); Boulet I already mentioned in the last rant; Quinlan (Quints) is voiced by Rachel Crane, and Tomassian is voiced by Ashley Johnston for most of the series and Rachel Crane for a select few. You; If I were Miss Finster; I would trump vandalism charges on them since they are near the brick wall with a No Miss Finster painted on them; if she wanted some extra heel heat on herself.
Now every time someone leaves to the principal's office; T.J. stands there smirking. He seriously believes that this is going to work. What happens when he is left? Doesn't he realize that Prickley is going to notice that there has to be something to this. Anyhow; Prickley has pretty much figured this out as he is shooing students out of his room and then sees a room full of kids. He blows off Miss Lemon and then orders everyone to sign the sheet and get the hell out of the office. They kids sell as Prickley discovered that there is a name called Whompy Whompus. I think; I don't care; I did giggle at that one. Prickley is PISSED as he returns to his outside and goes for the SPECIAL RED PHONE OF DOOM. It's under glass; so you know this is an emergency. So he calls to file a complaint about a bad apple spoiling the bushel of kids. The receptionist tells him to hold and we get elevator music. Yeap; even in 1997; we got the "do nothing and see if the kids laugh at it" spot; but this one at least makes sense; no matter how annoying it might be. The guy on the other line tells him that Mr. White is coming and Prickley proclaims that he's the cleaner and he'll get the job done. The guy on the line also tells Prickley to stop using this line ever again. Which telegraphs the finish well in advance. So he hangs up and gets all evil calling them little Whompers. So we head back to the playground and a black helicopter with a B.O.E. in white letters on the tail section is hovering inside school grounds. Various "police cars" park in front of the school. Oh great; now I see where these principals get their ideas from in real life. This is just depressing the watch knowing that this abused child perception was looked at and was not only praised; but executed into normal policy. Columbine was merely an excuse to justify this crap now.
So we get another pointless sequence just to draw out an already thin plot line as the black helicopter lands on the white X in the middle of the red carpet and the hatch opens and it's Mr. White who is ironically dressed in a black suit and pants. Sadly; they should have given him black hair instead of brown; but paying off irony is not this show's strong point. Prickley greets him as Mr. White wants to do into his office. Here's an idea: TURN OFF THE HELICOPTER~~! Prickley wants to have a five cent tax on swearing. WHAT?! Doesn't that contradict the very character that they were shooting for? And why five cents? If this was just a gag on Peanuts; it failed badly. Mr. White wants to go to the office as he wants tea and crumpets. Prickley stammers like a weasel would. Way to go; telegraph the finish in advance why don't you? Mr. White wants tea; then action as he and Prickley walk towards the school. The babyfaces are hiding behind the bushes as they wonder what is going on. Then Miss Finster notices T.J. and motions him to come to the principal's office. So we head there as T.J. explains that the word is meaningless and Mr. White actually buys it much to Prickley's surprise; calling him a well-intended young man. He dismisses T.J. and T.J. walks out. Prickley asks him about T.J. and White calls him a cancer and goes into a long rant about a non-bad word that used to be used for a super bad word; and then it turns into a super bad word on itself and it spread like wildfire and he allowed it to happen. Not anymore as he proclaims that he is going to make an example out of T.J. and it's already in the works. So we head back to the front of the school as T.J. addresses the kids and proclaims that this was all a misunderstanding. He says the forbidden word of the day; and here comes the black helicopter and two B.O.E. guards arrest T.J. and we go to School Court. Oh goody! We get to parody Inherit The Wind while we are at it. Everyone protests outside. At least they are smart enough not to say whomp. So we go inside the court as we get the court proceedings with Mr. White as the prosecutor and T.J. gets no defense counsel at all which makes this entirely one sided.
So this goes on for a long ass whomping time as even the judge has that look of "WHAT THE WHOMP DID HE JUST SAY?!". Mr. White would be the perfect token anti-gay guy who might or might not be gay himself. Miss Finster loves this of course; but Prickley isn't so thrilled either way because it wastes his time to get that promotion. Judging by that smile; this is her wet dream right there. We discover that the judge is Superintendent Skinner (voiced by John Astin as mentioned in Quack Pack earlier in Unusual Suspects) as he calls White's speech frightening. Still he has no evidence to prove T.J.'s innocence on this so he is about to sentence T.J. to expulsion when the doors open and Miss Grotkey arrives from the front doors with a Slangologist which is a stereotypical French hippie. Look; I'm all for Miss Grotkey defending T.J. in all this; but this guy looks like an easy stereotype to defeat. This is not going to end well as he's Doctor Dyce who speaks like a rap artist. The kids in the seats are talking among themselves. So Dr. Dyce talks and I cannot understand a word that he is saying. If this is T.J.'s defense; it's over for T.J. I'm going to skip the speech because this speech is completely meaningless and the result is going to be the same: T.J. gets expelled and then somehow is reinstated until some loophole. That is my call to the finish now. So Dyce gets into an argument with Mr. White and suddenly; Doctor Dyce starts yelling in proper English. Ooops! And then we get a fight on the attorney's table for fun. I'm beginning to think that Disney picked these three episodes because they contain adults fighting and the staff thinks it turns them on. In a way; I don't blame them. It must be hard choosing this show when Goof Troop would have been a better bet; however tedious that one was. T.J. whistles to stop this fun fight and addresses Skinner. Oh damn you T.J.! I was enjoying the hippie graduate student trying to kick a civil servant's ass; and you RUINED IT!
T.J. wants to speak for himself which means THE SPEECH OF DOOM which is FCC APPROVED (C) FCC All rights are only FCC rights! T.J. proclaims that this thing whomps and Mr. White gets all offended as Skinner asks what is the word. Mr. White admits that it's whomps and Skinner laughs his ass off and calls him out on it. Mr. White calls this all obscene. If he's talking about this show; he's whomped. Teamo Surpemo and Brandy & Mr. Whisker are WAY more offensive than anything T.J. sezs. So I was wrong; but still I prefer the finish that the writers went instead of the one I thought they would go with. Mr. White cannot believe this sick filth and I hope he never sees Fanboy & Chum Chum because I fear that his brain would explode. Skinner asks everyone for evidence and everyone has a different meaning for it. Skinner thought it was funny and claims Mr. White has a dirty mind to begin with. Well; he did sucker T.J. into thinking that he was safe; so that was pretty dirty. So Skinner finds T.J. not guilty and all is right in the world of Recess. Except for Miss Finster and Prickley of course; but they are evil, so who gives a whomp?! Everyone cheers as T.J.'s mom and dad make their first appearance and embrace each other. Skinner does tell T.J. that he must return to school as Spinelli calls this a hallow victory. Oh sure; make T.J. feel bad after this silliness as Prickley proclaims that this whomps as we circle fade out to end the episode at 10:30. I did like the fight; but otherwise, this episode whomps...ERRR...I mean sucks. ** (40%). Half of that for the fight between Mr. White and the hippie. The other half for the finish.
One Stayed Clean: We begin this one with a shot of a flag pole flying the American flag which apparently only has 21 states now. So 29 states have succeeded from the union in this show? Why? We get the MONOLOUGE OF DEATH from T.J. as he proclaims that today will be a rough day for the kids today; and it will be the roughest for your son. So we head to inside Gus' bedroom. I know this because Lt. Griswald opens the blinders and calls him private. And tells him to wake up because it's picture day. In other words; Pick A Nose. I have a feeling that this episode will be a lot better than Pick a Nose and Bea Stays In The Picture combined. Gus seems fully fine with that as he wakes up in his military pjs' and salutes him. So picture day is his little happy place. How sweet. We get the showering montage and Gus does a better job of showing much wimpy BS&P is at Nickelodeon by actually bathing naked. We don't see below the belt of course; but who cares? Then Gus irons his own shirts and pants. Now I'm seeing why I hated Pick A Nose so much. Sadly; since Gus is not perverse in anyway; he doesn't steal Lt. Griswald's nose. Which would be a funny visual though as Gus polishes his shoes and then returns to his bedroom for inspection and Lt. Griswald sees that Gus did everything properly and thus passes. We also get a really nice moment as Gus' mother (blond hair with a red shirt) stand outside the door and look sweet at the moment. It's little things like that; that I wish I could see a lot more of in this show and the new Disney for that matter. Gus salutes Dad and intends to make the Griswalds proud of him. So we scene change to school as there is a sked on the left side of the door as the fourth graders get their pictures taken at 9:30; which is just before Recess. Hmmm; what do I smell? Oh yeah; the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT and a complete telegraph of the finish well in advance.
So we see all the kids are clean and spot free as T.J. is sitting on the bench proclaiming that this whomps. So yes; whomps is now his catch phrase; along with tender. Sadly; we haven't heard that one. Yet. They hate picture day; and considering that Gretchen has a purple bow on her head; she gets my sympathy. Spinelli threats to burn her pictures like a good moralist would when he finds dirty magazines. Gus walks in and greets as he is the only one who thinks of this as awesome. Sadly; the last two shows I did with this plotline whomp so I'm not liking this episode's chances even with Gus in the lineup. I mean; sure you dress up; but it's one free half hour away from LEARNING that you don't get most days. So I say; whomp you ONE GIMMICK BAND. I was hoping Gus would say that just for me to laugh; but Disney hates me so no dice. The kids are not amused as usual because they hate clean clothes. Or something. So Gretchen points out that the pictures are taken by grade which would logically mean fourth graders go before Recess; but Miss Grotkey interrupts and we have a SWERVE because the fourth graders are last. Everyone except Gus is shocked and appalled as Grotkey explains to us that she believes in empathy for other grades and letting everyone else go first. Miss Finster: I see the IQ reducing pills in Miss Grotkey's coffee are working to perfection. Heh, heh, heh. I refuse to believe Miss Grotkey is more clueless than Antila from 101 Dalmatians: The Series. Grotkey leaves and everyone panics because they must stay in the clothes for the whole day. Except if you read the board; the last time is 11 o'clock which is the faculty. Are you telling me that school ends at 12 noon in fourth grade? WHOMPING BULLSHEET!! Gus calls this a disaster which Gretchen agrees because her mom is a sexist. Or something. Gus is upset because he has to wait for a class picture. See; the other students had pictures in school from other grades; but since Gus has switched schools for so long; he has never had a picture day. And now this is delayed as T.J. walks to him and does the SPEECH OF DOOM and agrees to defend him from dirt. Which is hilarious considering the last episode short. The ONE GIMMICK BAND joins in for fun.
So we head to the playground as it is empty and the bell rings. We see a photographer setting up his camera and Miss Finster with the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS calling for the kindergardeners. And it's Recess which makes no sense since the kindergardeners are up at 8:00 am. We see everyone; including Randell wearing a navy blue sailor outfit with a fake lollipop. HAHA! Upside down girl gives us a glorified shot of her panties and her skirt going up. And people accuse anime of this BS?! So we coordinate the effort with operation Shield Gus as we see the kindergardeners standing at attention as the photographer with the purple shirt bring out the most deranged clown puppet I have ever seen; and the kindergardeners actually do a decent job staying still. Photographer sees it as good enough and we flash as the kindergardens run away after the flash because they are free...to make a higher grade suffer their wrath if they mess with them. Or something. So Miss Finster calls for the first graders as the spot for that is: Call the grade, bring them in, do a spot where they try to stand still; photographer isn't amused but it's rushed for time; so he flashed the camera and we rinse, lather and repeat. So until the fourth graders are called; I'm not going to bother calling that sequence at any time. I'll say "skip" and you'll know when the sequence is coming. It'll make life easier for me and you the reader. So we get operation Gus Shield as the kindergardeners stampede like crazy and start chasing the fourth graders; jumping into mud and chasing Threasa The Cornchip Girl like the sexists that they are. Seeing those native kindergardeners in clothes is creepier than the stereotype itself; if that was humanly possible. The ONE GIMMICK BAND bails as the kindergardeners throw a muddy kick ball on Ashley B. Oh; it's dodgeball picture day. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we...SKIP...We cut to T.J. and company hiding in concrete drainage pipes as T.J. gives the all clear and they all move to the rotating whirl of doom well before the first graders starts messing themselves and tacking other kids onto the pavement. I mean; that spot had no sense of danger. None whatsoever.
So Gus is now thirsty and he wants to go to Kepstos and buy himself a root beer. Most of the kids agree as Gus asks Spinelli about her plans and Spinelli proclaims that she will do some British Bulldogging. Because she's BIZZARE~! And for those of you who think I'm joking; that is exactly what the British Bulldog said in a promo during the 1998 Royal Rumble. Even funnier was the kid who was asked about who would win the Royal Rumble in 1998 he said and I quote: "The British Bulldog is going to win the Royal Rumble; weither he wants to or not." I take an spit take when the kid said that. And Spinelli threatens to punch anyone who makes a wisecrack about her hair. Oh come on Spinelli; your hair is so boring. There's nothing for the wisecrackers to work with here...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING TO WORK WITH~! So Mikey gets a football in his lap and everyone panics as the muddy first graders chase the babyfaces away. Sadly; Mikey trips and falls on his face and the first graders whomp him up so to speak. It's always the fat, dumb and happy kid who goes in these movies; although I do give the writers credit for not eliminating Vince first. Or so I thought until Vince does the stupidest thing ever: he runs back and gang tackles all the first graders down while Mikey escape. So much for being enlightened; I shake my head. Let's move on as Gus is horrified because Vince was wearing that to church. Wait; I thought church wasn't allowed in Disney worlds anymore? So the babyface bail stage right and we...SKIP... to the gang almost stepping in a mud puddle. No speaking here; they dodge it and we...SKIP... and we see the remaining kids sit on the grass near the slide. So Mikey has been eliminated? So Vince was second after all. Damn. Gus is told not to worried about the cheery messy kids. T.J. takes everyone to account as he also sees fifth graders that are messy; but something is messy. Sixth Graders? No; the kindergardeners who are hanging above the babyfaces on the playground devices. Cornchip Girl sees clean people which is funny and the CHASE IS ON BABEE! So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE FOURTH GRADERS EDITION~! T.J. is Freddy, Spinelli is Daphne, Gretchen is Velma and Gus is Shaggy. I'm guessing Scooby is played by Mikey which means as usual; the black guy has to play Scrappy and be the hated one. Bigots.
So we run for a while near a wired fence which Gretchen forgets to run on the left side away from the fence because her bow gets stuck in the fence. Yeap; smart kid turns stupid and is third on the pecking order; which means Spinelli the tough girl is next on the pecking order. Because T.J. is a white, angry you know what; and Gus has to be the only clean one because the storyline DEMANDS IT, otherwise there is no payoff for the beginning. Which is fine by me; thank you. And as I expected; Gretchen surrenders slightly slower than France; but Spinelli comes in to try to get the bow out; but they get WHOMPED by the kindergardeners. HAHA! T.J.'s swear word is more over than T.J. is. That should prove how much this show sucks. So the kids go down DA....HOLE (Slurp!) as Gus is panicking like crazy now. T.J. calms his down and puts his blue suit on the floor basically eliminating himself as we see the Diggers huddling on their cloth and then we pan left to see Randell playing the harmonica. Gus dodges a messy doll as Randell explains that he stole it from a messy kid and we play music for a while. Gus feels bad about T.J. sticking up for him; but T.J. explains that if he didn't stick up for Gus; he would never look at himself as a good guy. If this was a character who is likable and complex; this would be awesome and the music is killer here; but T.J. is not that guy. So we hear Miss Finster yelling for the fourth graders and both boys stand up as now we have five guys left: Randell, T.J., Gus, Digger Sam and Digger Dave left undirty. T.J. and Gus climb up to assess the situation and it looks bad as everyone is throwing mud and getting themselves dirty. I could point out how incredibly disgusting this is; but it does make Gus' ultimate victory sweeter; so who cares? So everyone runs out and Randell and the Diggers get eliminated barely five seconds in. So we run into the danger zone (Macho Man: I've been to the Danger Zone!) as Gus shows off his military skills of dodging and apparently; he's been teaching T.J. some new tricks. So we get a neat visual of them turning the corner towards the bleachers as T.J. proclaims that they are going to make it as everyone for the picture right now is covered in mud.
However; since Gus has to win here, T.J. is interrupted by a muddy Erwin Lawson as he brings out a container of cheese whiz. T.J. motions to Gus to bail and Gus does stage left as T.J. walks up to Erwin. Why? So he can get dirty silly. Gus is greeted by the babyfaces; but he stops and looks confused as he watches Erwin just cut promo after promo about cheese. God this is lame; JUST DO IT ALREADY~! T.J. could have just walked out by the time you finished your silly promo. Oh please; don't let Gus get dirty. PLEASE! I BEG OF YOU...and then we fade to orange and see the flagpole again. We get T.J. monologing as we see that the letter is being read by Griswald as T.J. does the speech of doom again. In comes an army guy with handcuffs attached to his wrists and the briefcase as he come in with spy photos. Griswald then shows him a photo of his own and the army guy stammers like an idiot . Griswald proclaims that his son never looked better as we see the picture as T.J. is the only clean one left as Gus did indeed take the shot for T.J. from Erwin. You know what; I love that finish better actually because Gus saved his friend and Lt. Griswald approved of his son's heroism in the line of fire. And it's special because it's his first picture day too. Lt. Griswald got his likableness back and Gus is now the best character of the show as we end the final bonus episode at 10:30. Fun episode which actually had a great finish and ending that was booked properly. And this episode makes me realize that no one can top this one. Well; I did say that this show does get better as time goes on and two of three episodes were fun to watch. **** (80%). Our first thumbs up episode.
THE REVIEW LINE
So I got all five shorts completed and the three favorite episodes were much better picks than the debut episodes. The first one was fun enough and it had a wicked fight; the second one sucked because it was dull and I couldn't suspend my disbelief over this whole bad word thing because whomp is so stupid as a word; bad or not. It also had a fight which was good until they screwed it up with T.J. stopping it and I did like the finish of it and thus they didn't go for the loophole finish. One Stayed Clean is the first standout episode in Recess bar none. Yes; it's basically the template for Pick A Nose/Bea Stays In The Picture; but I CARED about Gus. It was a fun horror flick type short which had the twist finish which I wasn't expecting; but I also didn't expect the twist ending to be better which is was because Gus showed that he was willing to help his comrade in battle against Erwin and Griswald was proud of him for doing so. It was the correct booking decision and Gus is now the defacto best character of the show. He got good character development; the episode was built up well, it had muddy antics, a great twist finish and a great ending; so it's the best episode of the series thus far. I did say that this show gets better as time went on and this set showed it. So next weekend; I'm doing Doing The Fifth Grade and then the weekend after; it's All Grown Down which should end my Recess run. Hopefully; this show will be decent enough from here on out; I don't want to deal with a whompy episode ever again. Somehow; I don't think my whomps will be answered... T.J: WILL YOU STOP STEALING MY WORD?! YOU'RE WORSE THAN PRICKLEY! So....
Thumbs in the middle for The Challenge, thumbs down for Story of Whomps and thumbs up for One Stayed Clean and I'll see you all next time.