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Raw Toonage: The Final Episode Rant
Reviewed: 06/07/2014
Gobble, Gobble This Show To Hell!
Well, well; I guess there were a few more Raw Toonage episodes left; so we'll be doing what wasn't supposed to be, but is the final episode of the series. And like The Big Woo from Fish Hooks; by the time this happened, there was no heat left in Bonkers (although Marsupilami wasn't bad and was able to function on his own without radical changes forthcoming like with Bonkers). Only it took about six episodes for Bonkers compared to about 80 episodes for Fish Hooks to lose their heat. Today's program features gorrillas, turkeys, hot springs and a template to My New Addias (as per the song heard on one of the Botchamanias). So let's rant on shall we...?
The final episode was written by Terrie Collins, Tom Minton, Ralph Sanchez, Robert Schechter and Mina Johnson. Mina has only two credits to her resume: Bonkers and this show. Animation was done by Wang Films.
He's Bonkers - Gobble Gobble Bonkers: We begin this one with a blowing snow type day in the wood at a log cabin. The chimney seems to be made out of gold painted rocks for some reason. So we head inside as there is a knock on the door (wait; there was no one outside on the opening shot, so...WHAT?!) as a butler lizard shows up. I realize now that it's the same lizard that has appeared in two He's Bonkers segments already and his name is Roderick Lizzard (LAME-O!) (Voiced by Jeff Bennett). He opens the door to find a snow covered turtle named Tuttle Turtle; aka for this short Pligrim Tuttlepolis (which is a funny booking name by the way) carrying fireword. Tuttle is wearing Pilgrim style gear as he walks in and Grumbles and Fawn Deer are shaking like leaves as Grumbles is ordering Tuttlepolis to put the firewood into the fireplace; while Fawn is at the fireplace stirring a cauldron with twigs as firewood underneath. So Tuttle puts the wood down while Roderick is dusting the thermostat (WHAT?!) and is ordered to turn it on. He does and the flames shoot up; and they all stop selling cold. At least Roderick is cold-blooded; so the no selling makes sense. Did I mention the moosehead on the wall is teeth chattering as well. Fawn complains about the new world being cold; but Grumbles blows it off because the cold builds character see. I agree; although I'm about 430 pounds, so that might have something to do with it. Anyhow; Grumbles claims that it should strengthen the senses which is countered with the roof collapsing on him with lots of snow. Which if you look outside; there wasn't much of it. Everything gets swept away as Grumbles is okay, while Fawn continues to complain. Grumbles proclaims that she should thanks him like an asshole heel would, and then gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY. No really; he takes off his hat to reveal a lit light bulb on the top of his head. Grumbles proclaims that they are going to have a Thanksgiving feast as he goes over to Tuttles stirring the cauldron and he tastes it as they are apparently having baked beans. Grumbles doesn't like it and tries to come up with something but stammers like an idiot. Sigh.
Then we cut to Roderick eating a purple version of the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook; telling us that Pilgrims ate turkey. So this writer is a time traveller then. That makes no sense. Grumble rushes over to look at the pages and then proclaims that they'll have turkey. But who will find and deliever one to him; which brings in Bonkers looking like a joke, because he is a joke in that outfit. Bonkers refers to himself as Bointeros De Bobcat which is a cute name for someone who is a joke on us! He goes on about Christopher Columbus; which Roderick blows him off and apparently he called Bonkers a "print" which seems like his accent meant "prick". I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Bonkers recoils, bails and returns wearing Pilgrim gear. That's just too bad because Bointeros is in fact hilarious at least. Fawn Deer speaks about what they need; Bonkers turns around and goes Bonkers, because he's a sexist prick. So much so; his eyes come out of his back and run around Fawn like a stalker pervert trying to look up Fawn's dress. Then the eyes come back; he turns into a red rocket and rockets around the cabin, crashes through the cabin wall (creating a heart shaped hole in the process) and splats into snow; melting it on the way down. Bonkers is charmed; so Grumbles comes out, grabs Bonkers and yells at him to get that turkey. Bonkers is so stupid that he thinks Grumbles wants a turkey bobcat; but he'll do it anyway for Pilgrim Fawn and runs into the snow which is much deeper; remembering to do the Scooby-Doo snow angel spot to annoy me, and he runs with his hat on top buried in the snow towards the northeast. So we head to a red barn with a really crappy wooden fence in the front. We then head inside as Bonkers arrives and shakes the snow off as his snowbank is wiping himself off. HAHA! Then we pan over to the center which contains a large amount of corn shattered all about with Pilgrim Jitters serving corn like a cafetera as the turkeys are all holding lunch trays. Ummm; yeah. So Bonkers gets in line and blows off Jitters for calling him a lady; which causes Jitters to panic and hide in the corn. Not a good start here for Jitters.
So Bonkers grabs him by the collar and tells him not to worry since he's only looking for a turkey farm. Jitters is not amused by this as he blows off Bonkers for thinking that the turkeys were anteaters or something. LAME! It should be: Did you think that they were chicken or something?! And then the turkeys give eye contact violence to Jitters. See; comedy. Jitters then proceeds to name them as one of them is Ishtar, Bonfire At The Vanity, and other major box-office bombs. Fitting considering how much of a bomb Bonkers and Raw Toonage has been in the ratings. One of them is Howard who looks like a real duck version of Ernie's rubber ducky. Bonkers proclaims that he needs one of them to come to him and Jitters already is defending them with his bloody honor blowing off Bonkers. Bonkers assures him that Grumbles is merely inviting one of them over; not to eat it. Anyone with an IQ over seven would have not fallen for this even if Bonkers has already fallen for it; but Jitters sells anyway and we move onto a stage as the curtains rise fora female turkey reading a love magazine and eating Valentine chocolates...on Thanksgiving day! So they oodle over her and she blushes as we do a segueway as Bonkers is shown in the whites of her eyes claiming that she's perfect; and then we see Grumbles proclaiming that she is one lovely turkey as we are back in the cabin as Grumbles has the female turkey. I don't care what her name is; all you need to know is that her name is now "dinner"! Anyhow; Grumbles instantly blows his cover and throws the turkey into a steel roasting pan carried by Tuttles and Roderick. Bonkers is disgusted and teases wanting to fight Grumbles; but then sezs "over his dead body" and pushes Jitters in front of him. HAHA! Yeah; it renders Bonkers into a coward, but Jitters did defend his turkeys earlier. See; make the joke and pay it off. Grumbles likes rice by the way and then off-screen MURDERS Jitters while the turkey in the roasting pan is in tears; causing Fawn Deer to see this and blow off Grumbles for being such a meanie to their guest. Bonkers bandages Jitters up like a mummy because this is suppose to be comedy, but it's not funny.
So Grumbles yells as Roderick to throw the bums out and Roderick walks over and uses the TROWEL OF CLEAN WILL to push Jitter and Bonkers into the air like they were booted in the ass. Bonkers and Jitters crash into what I thought was a tree; but it turns out to be a combination stockades and pillories as Bonkers wants his lawyer in Miami. Did you catch the obvious BS&P decision here? Yeah; Fawn Deer didn't get tossed out as well because she of course is untouchable. So we head back into the house as the heels stalk the turkey with child corrupting balloons showing a cooked turkey; prompting the turkey to try to draw black lines over the thing; but it fails badly. This better end with Fawn Deer kicking ass; or this will be one gaping logic break. The turkey is literally backed into a corner, scared almost to death as we head outside to Bonkers and Jitters stuck in the stockade of doom as Jitters panics since Pituneia is about to be cooked. His turkey pet that is. Bonkers cuts a Baloo-equse promo about being cunning and stuff, and then give up in stereo because they are hapless and moronic. We head back into the cabin as Fawn Deer is back and just standing there crying like a 1950's Daisy Duck, looking completely helpless and useless while Pituneia is sitting, tied up to a chair. She panics as Tuttles, Roderick and Grumbles are setting up the table with lots and lots of meat, fruits, vegetables, cheese and bread. We see Bonkers and Jitters somehow get out of the stockades as Grumbles goes over to the tied up bird with three different colored dough pies proclaiming that he is going to plump her up for the great feast. Then we see the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE get involved as it snags Grumbles and he crashes into another cabin wall (which will be magically repaired in the next scene) and that causes Bonkers and Jitters to get squashed by Grumbles; which they get grabbed and kicked into the air in that order from Grumbles. Jitters sums this up nicely for me as they go flying in the sky. Ho hum.
So we head back to the cabin as we hear an announcer in the background because inside we see Grumbles watching television with a bowl of popcorn as he is watching a football game. Let me remind you that the time period is the 1600's. Tuttles and Roderick chase Pituneia around the love seat in circles as then the football game grinds to a halt to show Bonkers in his Pilgrim gear wearing joke glasses and a fake mustache nose which looks bigger than HHH's. And Bonker's voice sounds like he's breathing in helium as he claims that his trukey is being recalled; and thus a representive will be at the door. So there is a knock on the door and Grumbles opens the door to reveal Jitters with a dead chicken. I swear to god that is what he has. Grumbles takes it and then comes back and drops a pumpkin on Jitters' head before slamming the door. Bonkers comes in and assures Jitters that he has one more plan in store; and Jitters sounds like he wants to be somewhere else. When that happens; you can tell this episode is going to suck. So we head back inside as Pituneia is in the cauldron over the fireplace flame as Grumbles continues to struggle with Pituneia with the lid cover. In comes Bonkers and Jitters dressed up as French chefs. Grumbles is giddy about this as Bonkers inspects the turkey and blows off Grumbles' attempt at it as Bonkers takes the turkey out and gives it to Jitters. Bonkers then grabs Grumbles and throws him into the pot; then we get some horrible animation of Bonkers cutting veggies and stuffing carrots into every orifice of Grumbles. Bonkers rushes over to the thermostat and turns it onto max. Grumbles heats up slowly and then screams as he rockets up into the air through the chimney. So Fawn Useless Deer comes over asking where daddy is; implying that Fawn is the daughter of Grumbles as Bonkers explains that daddy is seeing a new frontier. Which then Grumbles comes down, crashes into the roof and floor WITH CHEESE AND BACON; remembering to take the entire house down into the ground with him, while managing to not make contact with Fawn Deer. Bonkers pops up from the carnage and runs away from Grumbles who chases him through the woods and they do Scooby Doo snow angel spots on the trees to further annoy me. Fawn just stands there; shrugging her shoulders to end the segment at 7:55. You know this show is dead when Jitters cannot even be bothered to cut the one promo that people remember him by. Another really lame clustermuck with a few funny spots and nothing else. * (20%).
Marsupilami - Hot Spots: So we begin with another hot sun beating over the jungle of Africa as a bird and monkey are trying to keep cool; struggling. We then zoom in on an area where Marsupilami is cool as he made a hammock from his tail and is drinking coconut juice from a coconut mug; sipping through a straw. Mars loves the summer breeze despite the fact that there is no wind; because we discover that Maurice is running on an unstable conveyer belt/pulley system attached to a large green fan. Mars has a banana attached to his tail which he is dangling at Maurice like a carrot as that banana is badly drawn. So pan over west to the purple bushes as the color stylist has officially stopped giving a crap about this show; and it's Norman in his always SWANK cyan blue hunter outfit with a tiny pif helmet. So Norman gets inspired as he calls Mars such a cute and cuddley creature that he is going to mount him on the wall. He wants to kill him you see as Norman practices the fine art of not being seen. Okay; here's what happens next: Mars finishes drinking his first coconut mug (he has two on his person now for no reason; so the continuity guy doesn't care anymore) and throws it away. It somehow bonks Norman on the head and he gets so dizzy that he walks backwards and over the cliff. He is forced to hang on the cliff for dear life as Mars doesn't have a care in the world. Mars drinks the second coconut mug dry and drops it; as it lands underneath Maurcie's feet and he runs a lot faster than normal causing Mars number one fan (made of green palm tree leaves natch) to spin much faster because that is what this episode needs, more windbags. The pulley system snap causing the green fan to fly stage left as Norman gets back up on the cliff. The fan whacks him in the face and he drops over the cliff; tries to fly like a birdmen and free falls. Maurice loses his balance; eats the banana (and the tail) and pratfalls as Mars tail hammock comes apart. Mars takes about 20 bumps against the trees before somehow landing on bottom and getting squashed by Maurice on the conveyer belt. Mars pops from the carnage and blows off Maurcie for being a sweaty gorilla.
So Norman has somehow climbed back up onto the cliff as Mars pops the tail from Maurice's mouth as the banana peel is the only thing left. Mars throws the banana peel right in front of Norman; just as he takes one step. He slips on the banana peel causing him to go over the cliff and freefall again. So Maurice and Mars head to a lake as we see lions doing the backstroke and an elephant and monkey doing the waterslide spot and water spray spot. Mars and Maurice come in as Maurice cannonballs into the lake while Mars jokes about his spotted tail and the favorite spot. BUM BUM CHING! Seriously; there was a rim shot for this, and it wasn't funny. Mars stands on Maurcie's belly and uses his tail to do the Italian boat spot made funnier by Don Karnage; because I cannot take Marsupilami seriously as a great singer doing this. Maurcie grunts and then Mars raps. Seriously. It's obvious now that Raw Toonage is finished as a series when they are literally going for all the 1990's cool kid references without context nor reason. Maurcie doing the grunt rap was amusing at least as we head to the bushes with Norman hiding again as he rips his clothes off and runs onto the hot sand wearing the skimpest blue trunks he could find, and then looks down. He screams and bounces on the hot stand screaming. He hops on about three rocks and then on an elephant's back which is cooler. Norman is relieved, and then the elephant rises up and grabs Norman with his trunk. Norman is squeezed into a bigger fatass than he already was, and then thrown away stage left. Somehow; this throw breaks logic and reason because Norman is sliding on the water on the next shot and takes a sick MAN-SIZED bump into the rocks. Yeap; he has a concussion now. Norman gets up; only to take a great bump off the conveniently placed log being used by Mars as a diving board. OW! Mars then does a belly flop; and somehow hits the water like it was solid concrete. OUCH!
The animals have fun as Norman is pissed off and screams at everyone to get the hell out of the pool. All the animals look confused as Norman pulls on a rope underneath the water and the lake drains into mud as apparently; this watering hole is a natural tub. Norman blows everyone else, then mocks them and laughs like a bastard villain would. Maurcie looks sad as he has mud in his paws. Never mind that this was the same guy who enjoyed the mud in an earlier short as the finish. Mars uses his tail as a fan as they pant together; then we hear a bell ring and the sound of an ice cream truck. In the middle of nowhere. This has to be an obvious set up! Mars is giddy about this as we see the ice cream truck pull in. The counter window opens and we see Norman dressed up like an ice cream man ringing a bronze bell. Norman calls for them to get their ice cream as we see Mars bounce onto a tree stump about five feet away from the truck as Mars basically finds eight different ways of calling Norman a fatass. Geez Mars; don't be afraid to tell him how you really feel about him huh? Mars wants some complex flavored ice cream for himself; while Maurcie gets the frozen banana. Norman claims that he doesn't have those flavors as Mars asks what he does got which is a dumb move on Mars' part as Norman grabs him by the throat proclaiming that he has Marsupilami. He throws him into the back of the truck; which is the freezer portion since as Norman drives away, Mars is chattering teeth looking out of the back. Then in one of those stupid moments that makes you -- as an old fart -- hang your head in shame: The back of the truck opens and out pops Marsupilami completely encased in an ice block merely five seconds after we saw him moving. Yeah; Norman is so stupid that he left the back door unlocked. So Norman realizes this and turns the truck around and chases after the ice block which the tail is still not encased in ice. So the truck catches up and Norman cuts a promo while grabbing the tail; which somehow pulls in Norman from the truck. So we ice block ski for a while and go off a sharp rock ramp into the air and where they land, do I really care? Ummm...nope.
So the iceblock lands on the ground and somehow splits into two block without shattering; which makes Norman and Mars bounce into the air. Then they free fall and land on one of the ice blocks. Apparently; Norman is a Republican and Marsupilami is a Democrat. Sounds about right to me as they slide off the cliff in stereo and land in the mud lake. Mars uses his tail to invoke the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to snag a palm tree and that stops the ice cube as it melts into the mud lake. Then Norman slides off him and lands head first into the mud lake floor. The animals then suddenly hear the ice cream truck bells and the ice cream truck lands into the mud lake; stopping on a dime for no reason. Then we cut to a close up of the passenger window to reveal...Maurice? With ice cream cones filled with rainbow colored ice cream?! F*** LOGIC~!! Seriously. None of this makes any sense! Then we fade to black and seriously I thought this was the end of the short when Maurice flashed his crooked yellow teeth. But we return as the watering hole is now filled to the brim with water and the animals are all enjoying ice cream cones. Okay; how did they get the water back? Mars is relaxing in his home made hammock relaxing to ice cream as Norman is on the conveyer belt running and getting whipped by the elephant while enjoying ice cream with the monkey Okay; the ending makes sense, but for some reason they recycled the background because when Norman was running, the background they used was the same one with Marsupilami hanging on for dear life as the breeze was much stronger, and doesn't fit the scene in terms of logic and continuity. No one cares about quality in this show anymore as Mars cuts a promo about staying cool and being cool as some icecream drops from the cone and lands on his head; which he deserves since he has about a bakers half dozen scoops of it. Mars licks the stuff and that ends the segment at 14:20. Just an utter mess of logic breaks; but the ending was correctly booked, and the storyline was fine so it wasn't horrible or anything. ** (40%).
Totally Tasteless Video - My New Shoes: You can tell that the execs realized that the opening of the TTV segments were more over than the segments themselves because there is no opening for this one; just a purple title of My New Shoes. So we head to a shot of the sky AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we see a full moon with a face on it and then we hear rapping going on as we pan down to the street and see a human male kid dressed up as Captain N: The Game Master (after about three wardrobes changes in ten seconds). The whole guise of this segment is some male kid finally got new shoes and raps about all the great things he can do with these shoes. There is absolutely no build up to this song; so it comes off as another useless, pointless parody. That is the other general problem with these TTV segments (besides the idiocy of the concept to begin with): They were designed to pad the running time of the episodes of Raw Toonage because three segments totaling seven minutes leaves about a couple of minutes short. This is basically a Vanilla Ice parody about new shoes; which might as well be a homage or copyright violation to Vanilla Ice because this is something VI would do and probably get it more over than most of his songs. Apparently; these shoes are like a clockwork robot with dozens of features normally seen in a Jetson's cartoon (which is funny considering that the human kid in this look like a Tiny Toons human kid.). I'll give this segment this: They really tried hard to get these shoes over as the best thing since sliced bread and the rapping is actually pretty good. But this is supposed to be totally tasteless, so REFUND~! Since this is a song; I'm not calling most of this. It's your typical template sugar pop rap song. So we end with the shoes becoming sentient and turning on the boy; but then they give up and come back for no reason as we see the shoes screwing the kid up at the end. Circle fade out to end the segment at 16:35. This is the best Totally Tasteless Video segment to date at ** 1/4 (45%). There was nothing really good about it; it was a solid, rapping music video about the greatness of those shoes. That's a vast improvement from the All Potato Network and Cro-Magum P.I.; so points for effort at least. Not to mention that this is so far the best segment of the episode.
Marsupilami - Prime Mates Forever: Back into the jungle with more sunsetting than a episode impending cancellation (and moving the show to a standalone show next year) as we pan southeast, and then to the east on ground level as we see Maurice eating bananas while Marsupilami is dribbling coconuts and enjoying himself. He's cosplaying a basketball player using his tail as the backboard and hoop. Mars of course is a moron because he cannot tell the difference between ice hockey and basketball (Canada to Marsupilami: No one sezs "He shoots! He scores!" when a basket is made. No one!); and he yells Oobaa and the sound people are so cheap that they use a stock sound of people cheering instead of just creating an ADR loop of a crowd chanting Oobaa which would have paid off the joke. Maurcie doesn't give a damn and drools like the clueless gorilla that he is. Mars kindly insults him about his dribbling skills and dribbles the coconut some made calling for Maurice; but Maurice ignores him as he opens his eyes and then we get the Tiny Toons bug eye spot because there is a brown female gorilla who looks like a cross between Hoppo, Cindy Bear and Aunt Louise combing her hair with a fish bone. Maurice is charmed and floats over (breaking logic, reason and common human decency) to the female gorilla and they are using public domain music that you hear various times on Hanna Barbera television shows. Let me remind people that the purpose of DTVA was to break the stereotype that Hanna Barbera created in that television animation is crappy, cheap, uncreative forms of entertainment. DTVA's attempt was a leech off hyper entitled, armchair critic approved animated movies because now we had good enough animation on free television instead of being forced to pay $10 to see it. Never mind that Michael Eisner wanted to protect Disney Feature and didn't want DTVA to overshadow feature. That plan didn't exactly work as intended. Okay; you can now add Webby to that list of crosses for this gorilla. Mars doesn't seem to care as he is charmed. So we have Bonkers, Norman, Maurice and Cro all doing the exact same gimmick. That is just peachy.
Maurice shows off a banana and is singing like a real gorilla doing nothing but grunts. Justin Bieber should do one of these, that might actually ROCK! I mean that in the nicest way possible. So we play hide the banana (a non-wrestling version of "hide the object from the referee".) for a bit and then he acts like a slob behing his own back while eating the banana. I don't get the point of this and I really don't want to get the point, but I have to complete this review anyway. The gorilla yawns and doesn't care; so Maurice acts like King Kong for a bit and she's not impressed so she yawns again. This is like a contest to see which one will suceed in driving the audience away from this show as Maurice drops his belly and then the female gorilla uproots a tree, MURDERS Maurice in the head with it and then storms off. What exactly was the point of that? Maurice stops selling about five seconds later and he goes Bonkers and jumps into the air. He floats (you know it breaks what) causing Mars to get in front of him; but Maurice MURDERS Mars with his belly and somehow the bump takes Mars onto his back. No one in creative is trying anymore as Mars uses his tail to grab a banana and dangle it in front of Maurice. Mars pops the banana into Maurice's mouth, Maurice stops and enjoys it as Mars claims it's for his own good. What about the audience you tall tailed goofball?! They did a break from this crap too you know. So Maurice has a banana break as Mars cuts a promo on first romances being heart aches as Maurice goes bonkers again and runs. Mars is on his back and WATCH OUT FOR THAT LOW BRIDGE TREE BRAN....Oops, too late, he got MURDERED good. Mars has a concussion as he calls it a headache. Heart shaped scene changer of doom ensues as we head to the lake underneath the waterfall with the female gorilla washing herself while sitting in the lake. More public domain music (the dadada-dada music this time); then we cut to Maurice calling her baby while doing the hands as binoculars spot. Yes; this is one of the few times Maurice actually talks (Jim Cummings) and no one cares since he's drooling and eating bunches of bananas at a time.
Mars runs in trying to convince Maurice to stop acting like a slob because she'll chew on his heart the day after Maurice chews up all of the banana peels. Well; that is one analogy I don't think we need to see again. Aparently; rushing into love is like scratching for fleas which Mars proceeds to scratch Maurice's back (and that is one large back natch!) which causes Maurice to stamp his foot in total bonkers mode. It makes him feel good; but it won't solve a thing. I agree; it certainly won't solve the problem of keeping this series from ending before the 13th episode airs! Marsupilami is channeling Baloo is putting on the fruit salad hat; but forgets to add the robe for extra effect. Apparently; the way to romance is to dance; and I'm not going to waste my time mocking this rhyming scheme because...you guessed it. So we dance for a while; Mars looks completely goofy in this. Maurice doesn't care about this either which basically kills the gimmick dead before it even begins. So Maurice spins Mars like a top and Mars rockets into the conveniently placed coconut tree and takes another bump into the head before coming down, getting buried in a coconut tomb. Mars pops up from the carnage with another concussion and then faints saying that he's done. I feel your pain Mars as we scene change to the female gorilla painting her toenails red with a nail polisher. Seriously. And for those who are offended at me calling her "female gorilla"; it's because she is given no name at all. You can blame that on the crappy writing team. Maurice is watching from a safe distance (Riiigggghhhhttttt) looking glum as Mars comes in and squeezes on his mouth to show the yellow teeth again as it's time to see the gorilla of his dreams. So Mars goes to some flower bushes and picks flowers. He presents them to Maurice to use while closing his eyes like an idiot. Maurice proceeds to eat the flowers. Yeah; let's move on as Mars blows him off for eating them and Maurice then proceeds to present a Venus Fly-Trap plant out of nowhere. Then a fly lands on Mars' nose and Mars cannot run for some reason as the Venus Fly Trap eats Marsupilami whole. Maurice walks off with the plant. I move on...
Scene changer of doom ensues and we see Maurice showing the Venus Flytrap to the gorilla. This gorilla is wearing a bra despite having no nipples nor breasts and is not amused. Mars is still inside the flytrap because he uses his tail as a jack to open the plant up and then uses his tail as a ladder to walk on Maurice's back. He tells Mars to say something romantic. Here's one: Get me the hell out of this failure of a cartoon! The female gorilla repeats the non-amusement spot and I swear that they simply used the same footage as before. Mars comes down between them and plays the violin with his tail; and the gorilla gets heart in her eyes. She then hops away stage left as we see that a male gorilla in formal gear approaches her and they meet. They hug and kiss for a while as Maurice sighs in defeat. Now you would think this would be the end; but Mars proclaims that this feud must continue and therefore he orders Maurice to tell the competition to get lost. Oh sod off Marsupilami! You have been likable until you decided to butt into romance. The power of life hates Maurice and there's nothing Maurice can do to redeem himself on that count. Maurice simply walks off and Mars goes on and on about kicking the male gorilla's ass, and guess who comes behind Mars' back? Seriously; guess who it is? Yeap; it's the male gorilla and now Mars is seriously going to get his for alienation of affection. Mars clips him in the jaw; he turns around and tries to explain that he was only trying to help Maurice. Male gorilla winds up Mars' tail and then smashes it as Mars is rocketted into the air like a spring and he screams Oobaa on the way out. So then we suddenly REPEAT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE~! For no reason at all. Mars shoots the coconut basketball and still gets the culture wrong as usual. Then he turns around and Maurice is charmed into heart eyes and Mars whines about it. So then we get Maurice hopping towards another female gorilla in a blue dress who also has eyes for him. They do this side shot of the river with Maurice and this gorilla slowly bouncing towards each other; and before they can kiss, Mars get in between them. He cuts a promo about love hurting others; and then he becomes the cream filling of a love sandwich between Maurice and the other gorilla. Mars proclaims that he always seems to get hurt and then gets crushed again as they kiss. Heart fade out as that ends the episode and basically the series (since the 13th episode never got made, let alone aired) at 23:20. This gets nothing and likes it! DUD (0%). The worst Marsupilami episode thus far.
THE REVIEW LINE
I predicted that without the host segment there would be no incentive to watch this episode; and I was almost right on the money! None of the episodes were good; and when a Totally Tasteless Video segment is the best thing in the episode, that's awful. He's Bonkers was the usual clustermuck as they did a Mouse On The Mayflower parody, and it sucked. I have never seen Fawn Deer look so useless in my life, and outside of the Jitters getting murdered by Grumbles after Bonkers used him as a shield, none of this was funny. Both Marsupilami shorts were disappointments as Hot Spots was a solid story with a good ending; but was an utter mess of logic breaks and crappy animation. Primates Forever was horrible, none of the Maurice/female gorilla stuff was funny and Marsupilami acted like a sexist moron throughout it; and none of his bumps meant anything at this point. Several logic breaks also killed it and there was nothing funny or memoiable about it. The Totally Tasteless Video segment "My New Shoes" was the best thing in this episode and it wasn't anything special; but this one tried hard not to suck and almost succeeded. The singing was great, the animation was fine for the most part and they did make a good attempt to put the shoes over as the greatest thing ever. It is the best TTV episode thus far in the series; but it felt like a Vanilla Ice homage rather than a parody. Overall; the final episode really sucked and it probably bombed so badly that the cancelation of Raw Toonage didn't come soon enough. It's pretty clear why: No one cared about Bonkers because the host segments featuring DTVA characters who had track record and got over was the only thing worth watching on this series. How many people remember Don Karnage Vs. Captain James Hook? Lots. How many remember "My New Shoes"? Almost no one. Now next up is episode #6 where they decide to have Bonkers himself host the show; which cannot end well. All I can say is for Marsupilami: You jumped the shark today; which is sad because he was the only new character who was actually quasi-over before this. So....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.