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Raw Toonage: Marsupilami & Maurice Hosting Rant
Reviewed: 12/25/2020
The Bully & The Teacher~!
So we continue down that winding road of Raw Toonage complation with Bonkers getting firewood in the caveman era (which seemly has modern inventions coming out of nowhere), Norman's aunt visits the jungle and likes Marsupilami much to the disdain of Norman and we get Badly Animated Man doing what he does best, being a 1960's cartoon character come to life in 1992. Yeah; this sounds like fun. Also, Marsupilami teaches Maurice how to stand up to bullies. Funny since Maurice has always been the lazy bully of the show and Marsupilami isn't much of a teacher anyway. So let's rant on shall we...?!
While I don't have who did which segment; I do know that the writers for episode #11 are: Jim Peterson, Rob Humphrey, John Behnke (I'm guessing they wrote the Badly Animated Man segment because that was the bee's knees in terms of TTV segments), and Mark Rhodes; with the story edited by Tom Minton and Ralph Sanchez. Note about Mark Rhodes: He now has 12 Producer Credits, 9 Misc Credits, 7 Writer Credits, 2 Director Credits, 3 Transportation Credits, 2 Production Manager Credits, 1 Art Department Credit and 1 Self Credit. His debut was in 1979 in the movie ...And Justice For All as a production assistant. Raw Toonage is his DTVA debut and he worked on Bonkers and Book Of Pooh. The Fast & Furious: Supercharged short as a producer is his most recent credit. He seems to work on mostly amusement park rides for various theme parks. The animation is done by Wang Films.
Marsupilami Host Segment: So we begin this one in the jungle above the trees with Marsupilami swinging down. HOOBA~! He lands on the ground and is looking for Maurice and shows how stupid he is by standing there so Maurice can squash him flatter than my sex life.Yup! What an idiot?! And Maurice isn't the idiot this time around as he walks away without a care in the world. And we are supposed to buy that he's the victim of bullying? Mars pumps himself back to shape with his tail and wants some clear commucation. As in; where's breakfast? Maurice cuts the most emotional promo he can muster; which is mostly the worst sign language and grunts I have ever seen and heard. The guise of this is that Maurice was picking bananas, got bullied by some bully gorilla and the bully gorilla stole the bananas, so there's no breakfast. It's a good thing Mars understands him because I sure didn't. Maurice and Mars shake hands and Mars basically blames the victim and basically states that he's out of shape. Mars does the Gruffi pose and Maurice is now on a diet. Okay, so Mars is a fat shaming bully bullying Maurice who is a lazy bully. Why are they friends, again?! Maurice covers his eyes and shakes his head in a state of groan. And, it's time to HIT THE OPENING~! It just occured to me that Mars was tickling Bonkers under the armpit during this sequence. And Mars is a bully to Maurice and abuses him with a steam roller and a bicycle. Again, who's the real bully in this setup? We return to the jungle with Mars using his tail to skip rope (and give Nintendo a hilariously silly idea to bury Ring Fit Adventure) and offers jumping role to Maurice; which looks so small the thing would snap due to Maurice's size. That rope needs to be as long as twenty feet. Maurice knew this and so he uses Mars as skipping rope instead. HAHA! Don't fat shame Mars; witness what happened to Kit Cloudkicker 30 years later?! Kit claimed in A Baloo Switcheroo that didn't want to be old and fat like Baloo and Baloo wasn't cool with that...Well, 30 years later in Ducktales 2017, he is old and he is fat. Molly doesn't need to bury him on that one, nature took it's course.
Mars bounces on his ass and the pain is so intense that he passes out. End of the segment as I'm doing these host segment in one segment this time. Return to the jungle as Maurice is eating bananas because of course he is. Mars next fitness spot: shadow boxing. This will not end well for Mars. Plus; the entire point of the story is that Maurice is supposed to stand up to the bully, but everything Mars is doing is basically a version of Battle of the Bulge or Gruel & Punishment; which had nothing to do with bullying and it makes the teacher, Mars, the #1 babyface of the shorts look like a bully. So, Mars does some shadow boxing for a while and we get the second funniest spot of the episode where Mars tail wraps into a ball of yarn and MURDERS Mars face good. HAHA! Even Mars' tail thinks he's a bully. Mars luckly doesn't hit the tree with his head, that would have sucked. Mars talks about his tail and that ends the segment. We return as Mars is dribbing a small coconut as it's clear now that Mars isn't even trying to help Maurice with his bullying issues and just wants him to lose weight. That to me is more offensive that saying that Daddy Pig has a big tummy. Maurice looks at the coconut and waters his mouth as Mars does the Gruffi pose. Wow, I'm on Maurice's side for a change. It's bad enough that Mars is fat shaming; but it's even worse when Mars doesn't seem to care about the fact that Maurice is a victim of bullying (I know, I know; it's hard to buy that notion, but I believe Maurice for once) and is doing nothing that actually helps stop the bullying and Maurice is being bullied a second time, for no reason. Mars dribbes coconut, bounces off his tail and shoots into the conveniently place basketball hoop and no one cares. Especially not Maurice. Maurice don't care as he breaks the coconut over his head and eats it. HAHA! I'll give Maurice this, he knows how to handle violence, non-violence and humor all in one sitting. Mars calls this a failure to communicate. Nah; it's failure to have actual empathy for a victim of bullying, while fat shaming him, that's more like it. So, next is facing Mars and tail VS. Maurice; which at least remotely sounds like practice for handling bullies.
Although I'm pretty sure this is NOT in any anti-bullying manual worth it's salt. Maurice finally has had enough as he bounces and sqaushes Mars flat as a pancake, climbs up, dunks the coconut in the basketball and the coconut somehow doesn't shatter and somehow bounces off Mars head and effectively knocks him out, complete with cartoon bump. Well, you deserved that one Mars, I hope you are happy. That ends the segment at 3:30 approx. This is the worst hosting segment ever, at ** (40%). Maurice was entertaining enough to make it below average; but the story makes no sense. It was supposed to be standing up to bullies and it turned into another Battle of the Bulge episode was zero side plot to keep it interesting. Mars came off like a bully and there was no payoff to Maurice actually standing up to the bully that vicitimized him (and no sign that Maurice was actually hurt in anyway since he no sold the victimization; don't forget about that), unless you want to say that the payoff was for Mars bullying him during this host segment, even though Mars is the babyface.
He's Bonkers: Quest For Firewood - Here's another segment that made it onto the actual Bonkers series since this one has the Bonkers OP instead of the He's Bonkers opening theme. The former is better than the latter I should note. So we head into a dark, stormy, Dave The Barbarian-equse snow field as a narrator is narrating. Bonkers is chattering, Grumbles is playing drums with bones before getting smacked around by Roderick Lizzard; who may or may not be narrating this segment. Grumbles (who has no clothes like the Emperor of Ice Cream; or so I'm told) throws another stick up and it flies up in slow motion and a lightning bolt strikes it. It comes down and it lands on the bonfire ablaze in front of Green Frog, a blue hare with a muff on it's groin and a orange chicken hawk in cave gear. They try to roast food on a stick; but the snow changes to freezing rain and kills the bonfire. I notice all three of them are wearing glasses in an era where glasses have not been invented yet. Cut to a cliff BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) with Grumbles playing a large horn badly as the announcer proclaims that this is the quest for firewood...firewood...firewood. So our narrator lives at the Great Wall Of Mynah from TaleSpin?! So Bonkers comes in with a club and a green skinned tunic; and somehow can speak perfect English despite the fact that Grumbles can not. Bonkers cannot understand him and thinks Grumbles has indigestion. Grumbles uses the stick to make an imprint of a campfire and Bonkers of course gets it wrong; so Grumbles invokes Plan B causing blowing snow into the scene. Bonkers coughs and then notices Fawn Deer shivering while wearing the least amount of clothes that Disney would allow. Bonkers goes bonkers with heart eyes and rocket fire coming out of his ass and tail which looks like he stole from Marsupilami. He spirals into the sky; does the Tarzan yell and explodes into crappy fireworks.
He comes down, does the Bugs Bunny burrow spot underground, knocks the three bright colored furries like bowling pins and somehow manages to create a burrow in a heart shape before coming up with a box of chocolates and roses complete with lots of hearts. Bonkers grabs her hand and Bonkers freezes into an ice statue; but still manages to talk anyway. Anyhow; he proclaims that Fawn needs a fire; and the other male cave furries grab him and apparently are trying to molest him; or something. Bonkers brings out the telescope which is inside his club and looks for firewood; but only finds a sign that has the tree censored. Even though; the sign and the post are made of wood. Why not use that as a stop gap until you find the actual firewood. Then again; why should I expect anyone writing this to actually get logic. Somehow in the confusion, Fawn has stepped on Bonkers' tail just as Bonkers is trying to exit stage right to get firewood. We discover that the green tail is fake because it pops off while Fawn is waving goodbye. Scene changer ensues and we head to somewhere in the icy mountains as Bonkers is collecting sticks of firewood. Damn; after all that setup of no wood; they show wood in decent amounts within thirty seconds. He throws out a purple lizard in disgust (bigot!) and misses half of the sticks. So Bonkers sees a stone sign with a giant lamp like light bulb, a right arrow, a screw, thunderbolt and some drawing that I cannot make out on top of a large rock. Bonkers somehow understands what this sign says because he claims that it's Jitters' cave of inventions. So we head to his cave which most of his inventions are outside. Apparently; he sells Artyfical Firewood which I don't buy for one second. We see Jitters in a upended chair watching the clouds as the chair is a cloud watcher. This causes Bonkers to ask if he is single? Jitter than bails and brings out the giant metal detector of death.
Bonkers comes over to ask where to find firewood and somehow Jitters responds that it's on the other side of the mountain just as the metal detector turns into a helicopter. Yes; Bonkers can understand Jitters; but not Grumbles. Bonkers does not like this at all. This ends with Bonkers basically asking what Fred and Barney would do. When you have to hyper reference the Flintstones in such an obvious manner; you know this show sucks. Scene changer of doom and after all that complaining; we see Bonkers and Jitters in the caveman's version of a cross between a go-kart and a helicopter. Jitter is panicky because Bonkers is the driver; which I cannot blame him for. How do you say "I hate my life" in Cave Speak? So the invention smashes into the giant tree of death and apparently; this invention is made from one of those chocolate eggs with the creamy filling in the center because white cream splashes all over said tree. The invention lands onto the ground and then gets squashed by a giant pine cone. Jitters says "Ow!" and then sobs like a baby. Bonkers looks up and he's in awe because they crashed into the biggest tree in the history of furry kind. Bonkers jumps onto a rock and tells Jitters not to cry over spilled goobers. Here's where saying spilled milk makes more sense actually! Apparently; working involves puckering up and kissing the tree. Whatever makes you happy Bonkers Dee Bobcat. He tries to pull the roots out; but no go, DUH! Cut to Jitters trying to fix his helicopter like device made of an Yoshi egg (!!!). Bonkers steals the handle and the propeller and is going to use it like a weed whacker device, which makes no sense at all. Jitters protests this outrage; and Bonkers tells him not to worry. So a giant purple pterodactyl steals the weed whacker and flies around the tree before putting it in it's nest. Bonkers claims that Jitters saw this coming a mile away. So Bonkers doesn't understand what Jitters is saying. I'm guessing Oooga Booga is Cave Speak for "I hate my life!".
Bonkers calls the pterodactyl a coward and wants it to fight like a caveman; which the pterodactyl comes down to invoke eye contact violence on him. Oh SNAP! Bonkers literally turns yellow on cue. I've heard of having a yellow streak down your back symbolizing a coward; but turning yellow is a special kind of cowardice. Bonkers stammers like an idiot so the pterodactyl invokes the WINDBAG SCREAM OF DEATH on Bonkers Dee Cave Bobcat because this is what this episode needs. Bonkers comes back and apparently, in Earthia, after dinner mints have already been invented, in which the pterodactyl takes it from Bonkers' hand. Bonkers is wrinkled up good too. He's also gassed as you can clearly see. Bonkers wants to settle this like cavemen, and he bails and returns wearing green trunks and boxer gloves. HAHA! Sadly; he fails to drag his knuckles before running in, thus hurting what the writers were shooting for here. The pterodactyl is unamused because this fight is totally unfair since it has no hands, so it stomps Bonkers into the ground with it's foot.OUCH! Dizzy stars ensue because Bonkers is a wacky idiot. Oh wait; the pterodactyl does have hands, so he's a legit heel. See what I did there? Bonkers pops from the carnage talking about striking oil in a million years. Keep dreaming you sexist bobcat. So he wants to settle it playing poker and the pterodactyl doesn't have to be asked twice. Yeah; we are doing the caveman version of that Bugs Bunny western short (21!! HARHARDEHARHAR!!) and then after the pterodactyl reveals his skills in poker, Bonkers simply proclaims that he knows he's licked (claiming the fix is in basically) and gives up. He bails stage left like a cowardly heel. He goes through a plank of wood and then under a rock to show us that he defies logic; as he is calling for Jitters. Then for no reason at all; Jitters free falls from the nest with the weed whacker. So Bonkers was unintentionally running interference for Jitters? Wow; Jitters is smarter than the #1 baby face of the show.
Jitters drops behind the
rocks saying something Bonkers cannot understand. Yes; the "Cave
Speak To English" dictionary has already been invented, why do
you ask? Jitters stops Bonkers from anymore logic breaking by
grabbing him while sitting on the weed whacker and we start bailing
from the pterodactyl and mow it's lawn. Or something along those
lines. The thing cuts through one rock and them smashes into another
one. Huh? Explain that one kids?! Bonkers is dizzy along with Jitters
as the pterodactyl comes in and offers a trade since Bonkers wants
the tree right? Bonkers is doing the Ron Tussien neck breaking bump
wondering what trade is he talking about. Scene changer and the
pterodactyl is using the helicopter on a pole to mow the grass and
create a grass statue of Mickey Mouse. So Bonkers comes over as
Jitters speaks again in which Bonkers understands him. Make up your
minds you silly writers?! Bonkers then does the flying kick of death
and nails the tree. The tree no sells; Bonkers crumbles to dust on
cue (Darkwing: Show off!). Jitter then touches the tree with the
FINGER POKE OF DOOM and the tree falls down. YOU GOT THE TOUCH~! YOU
GOT THE POWER~! I'm shocked Botchamania hasn't done a ending
featuring Jitters acting like Kevin Nash and the tree acting like
Hulk Hogan; it's just dying to be used. Bonkers is not impressed and
thinks Jitters is being a smartass basically. He dares Jitters to
come up with a way to bring the tree back to his people. So we scene
change to the male furries freezing and chattering teeth as we hear
yelling from Bonkers and Jitters. We then cut to them rolling on the
giant log. Of course! What a fool I am?! It was so obvious what the
finish was going to be here. The male furries all hide behind the
rock and the log crashes into a rock and splinters into firewood;
including making itself a log cabin. Yeah, right?!
Out comes
Bonkers and Jitters as Jitters has a beating stick on retainer in
case anyone gets out of line. Oh boy; he really does hate his life
now, with that smile of his. The male furries pop up and cheer
Bonkers for bringing them all the firewood they need to last a
lifetime. Bonkers teleports to Fawn Deer (how did she manage to not
get hit by the flying firewood? Oh wait; BS&P RULEZ~!) with
firewood in paws. So Bonkers brings out a slice of wood with the
beating stick Jitters has and Bonkers sits cross-legged to make a
fire. A flame comes out and then we pan up and discover that the
smoke alarm and the sprinkler system have already been invented. What
a bunch of idiots these cave people are? Why? Because the fire
instantly goes out due to the sprinkler system and none of them even
notice to turn off the smoke alarm so they can make the damn fire. I
wonder if BS&P had the HAND OF GOD in this screw job. The
furries are mad; Bonkers bails stage right and orders the fade to
black; which ends the episode at 6:15. Not
much to see here; but at least they paid off the freezing rain joke
at the beginning. * 3/4
(35%).
Totally
Tasteless Video: Badly Animated Man -
Oh yeah; this infamous segment. I find it an example of why Disney
hates the competition by doing a Superman parody and making fun of
Hanna Barbera's limit animation skills without realizing that Disney
was using the same overseas animators Hanna Barbera and Ruby Spears
were using. Never mind that even at their worst; there is no such
thing as frames per minute, it's always frames per second. Heck; at
least in America, they still work by two's which is 12 frames per
seconds while Japanese anime typically works with three's as in 6-9
frames per second. Chargeman Ken is two frames a second literally in
many cases which I'll point out why it's so stupid later on. So, we
begin this one in the city with a sky shot of various skyscrapers.
The artwork is some of the best in Raw Toonage history outside of
Marsupilami. So we cut to the sidewalk with an old grey hair man in a
brown suit, pants, shoes and tie checking the time on his watch.
Suddenly in comes a mugger wearing a blue windbreaker, blue pants,
Max's shoes and a purple hat; and in this world, all muggers are
really, really fat. The old man also has a grey mustache as this fat
mugger is using the Dirty Chip Rat method of threats by using his
finger as a gun inside his coat. The old man sells it like he needs
help from a superhero and then we head to the sky with badly animated
man...and it just occurred to me, this is inspired by Chargeman Ken.
The manga lines, the Rocket Robin Hood closeup background movement,
the sound effects and visual effects (although they should be using
Mighty Hercules sound effects to make this work effectively.) So BAM
goes down literally 90 degrees and lands on the pavement. You know;
if they wanted to shoot for Z-grade animation from the 1970's which
the cheesy title sequence is clearly shooting for (see the Iron Giant
28 robot knockoff); they should have made everyone like BAM.
I should note about BAM's punching skills; apparently it was supposed to be 2 frames a minute, but when he actually punches the robot it's four frames in two seconds, so it's 2 frames a second. Okay writers?! It's okay to say two frames a second; it's on par with Chargeman Ken which is what the superhero is you are shooting for. I did laugh when he was called more 2D than a corporate yuppie. Paul Haymen, call your office! There was the shadow of BAM crossing a building in a single drawing and all with sliding up, down and left. So the fat mugger is shaking the old mustache man's ankles for cash (what; does the corporate yuppie have bat-fu skills or something?) as BAM appears and we get the sparkle smile for old times sake. I just realized that the man in the brown suit and pants looks like Gabby Jay from Super Punch-Out! YAY! YAY! He hates BAM and then the mugger strips him to his white underwear with hearts on it; and Gabby Jay concedes that this is a toss up. BAM slides forwards and even Rocket Robin Hood does this better than BAM. I'm ignoring the dialogue here because it's basically a parody of Superman. So BAM does the FPS punching of death; which misses by a mile (and is still two frames per second guys. If it was two frames a minute; he wouldn't move a frame for thirty seconds. That's 1/8 of the episode per frame and he punches four times taking up two frames, so it's four minutes long; which is the entire episode including the TTV opening sequence.). BAM punches the brick wall as the mugger bails stage left, as Gabby Jay is not amused and neither is the mugger. Oh come on; at least he stopped mugging you Mr. Jay! At least BAM can throw a punch. I'm still waiting for you to beat up some kid in a future Nintendo boxing game on the SNES. BAM flies after him and turns into the anime background of doom in a blur. He runs into the wall and causes a portion of it to crumble; but BAM still no sells it. I guess his selling comes at two frames a minute. What a fool I was?!
Upside down shot of him; as we discover that the mugger is popping from the brick tomb. Now; this should be the end of the episode, but it is not because Cartoon Duck Syndrome is cool. In this case; CDS is cool since we get to see Gabby Jay hold up BAM because he's a drawing. Gabby blows off the artist's creditability, and I'm guessing he time warped from the 1960's. So BAM brings out the STAR REPULSIVE BELT OF DEATH and zaps the mugger; but it's no effect. Aw shucks, the human race has evolved from 2074 and time warped back to 1992! The mugger yawns, walks over and throws BAM away. BAM is so badly animated that he cannot get his arms up to block getting nailed in the head with the lamp post. This is less funny now that we know how awful concussions are now; and it's worse when you considered well animated (read: real) human beings in the professional wrestling business still to this day fail to put their damn hands up to block the damn steel chair shot. Anyhow; the lamp post falls and the mugger is so freaking stupid that he is in the path of it as he puts on an army hat and stands there to get MURDERED by the falling lamp post. Because everything is badly animated, including logic. This is the most fun I have had with a segment since the Phineas & Ferb Canadian episode. Gabby Jay thanks BAM whose mouth is now in his mask above his eyes. And he's still moving like a Rocket Robin Hood style character. So Gabby Jay is worried about this fellow; but BAM don't care as he does his so badly animated speech while flying away like he is in a 1960's Spiderman cartoon. Yeah; this is awesomely bad as BAM flies into the sunset in as much of a contrived position as the animators would allow and that ends the episode at 4:07. Wow; this is the best non-host segment in all of Raw Toonage; at **** (80%). If they had everyone badly animated like this; this would have been better than any segment in Raw Toonage. This is awesomely bad and it served the purpose intended since it was parodying bad cartoon shows. Sadly; I demand a refund because this is supposed to be Totally Tasteless! However; it was totally fun, so I can wait forever for that refund. It's only fair.
One Final Note:
Badly Animated Man is voiced by the late Gary Owens; whom you heard
in Quack Pack. Badly Animated Man is his best DTVA role by the way.
Marsupilami: Safari So Good
- Oh man; after
that TTV segment rocked my socks off; this episode cannot follow it
considering the summary. Imagine Aunt Louise in Ransom Of The Red
Chimp; only Louie is a completely unlikable scummy heel. We start in
the jungle with a far pan shot of a waterfall. Then a zoom in closeup
of a zebra drinking water. There is a shutter effect target on the
screen as a woman's voice tells them to smile and we snap photos of
zebras, giraffes, and we cut to a really bad woman with brown hair in
a Guy LaDouce outfit sitting on top of a moving elephant taking
pictures. She is clearly voiced by June Foray. Norman finally arrives
with the luggage which is bigger than his body as he picked the
smallest elephant he could find. What a cheapskate?! Norman doesn't
like Aunt Middy as he throws the luggage down; but acts like he is
going to help her anyway. Aunt Middy climbs off and remember to
squash Norman off-screen for fun while the elephant eats grass
without a care in the world. HAHA! Burials of Norman will always make
me happy. Middy blows Norman off for being lazy and demands to know
where her camera is, and Norman semi pops up and gives her the
camera. A butterfly flies past her and she's happy again. She runs
off and there is Norman squashed like he should be. HAHA! So Middy is
chasing the pink butterfly and the butterfly lands in a bunch of
daisies on top of Marsupilami's head. Mars pops up and appears to be
holding the camera even though Aunt Middy is way too far away for
that to happen. I was hoping that he would say: "Say
Marsupilami!" because since Middy is a new character, it makes
sense to introduce yourself in this case. We invoke the XENON FLASH
OF DEATH about thirty times. Seriously! Mars gets dizzier than me
with a fever as he sees spots on him; but he admits that a mirror
does that too. So he climbs onto Middy's shoulder (and there is lots
of room to sit on) and uses the tail to grab the camera because he
wants a group shot. Awww! My heart melted! Norman comes in because
he's the brown noser of 1992!
Middy tells him to go pound sand basically. HAHA! Like I said; burials of Norman will always make me laugh. Mars of course comes over and makes Norman smile wide and I crackled and laugh at that. Norman gets flashed and dizzy in the process; causing Norman to grumble. So we fade to black and return to the jungle as Middy is on her elephant along with Marsupilami (with glasses and pillow asleep) on the smaller elephant while Norman does the Donald Duck luggage spot from Quack Pack's "Ducks By Nature". Middy stops and gets her camera ready to take more photos of Mars. So Mars does some posing with his tail; from barbell lifts to cupid loving arrows. Norman is not amused by this; but no one cares about his fee-fees. Mars then does the snake charmer spot with his tail because it's considered exotic. The elephant panics with the snake tail that it manages to squash Norman underneath. Why does the elephants have horseshoes on their feet? Middy get off as Norman pops from the elephant saying that he cushioned the impact as Middy grabs Mars and asks if he is all right. He's fine Middy; and so is Marsupilami. Middy is gravely concerned about his injuries as Norman grumbles and repeats what she said sarcastically, because he hates Marsupilami. Why? I don't know. So we head to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Middy tucks Marsupilami in a makeshift hammock like Mars was a small child and Mars yawns. Pan down to Norman saying good night to Middy while trying to get Middy to kiss him. Middy looks down and blows him off as a fathead before walking off. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Middy? Although she is right about Norman being a fathead though. So Middy walks into her tent for the night as Mars uses the tail to pull the covers from Norman and say goodnight; while rearranging Norman's face.
So Norman is pissed off and he grabs Mars' hammock and walks back with it as it becomes a tease for the slingshot spot. 1:1 odds that Mars' will land on Norman's hammock somehow. Mars whines about Norman not telling him a bedtime story; so Norman basically tells him the story of how Norman get rid of a freeloader and lived happily ever after. So Norman slingshots Mars into the air as Norman backs himself up against the conveniently placed green slime pond. Mars flies up over the moon; bounces off the full moon and then free falls and bonks into Norman which Norman proceeds to fall into the green slime pond with Mars on top of him. Mars proclaims that he loved that story and Norman is pissed off again and is going to make him sorry that he even went on this trip. I betcha Middy comes out to bust Norman. I check the video...Nope; Mars bails and Norman chases after him. Norman uproots a tree filled with flamingos flying away. He shakes the tree a lot as he is serious now. Norman chases Mars through the jungle as Mars is bouncing with his tail of course. Norman calls Mars a long tailed geek as he bashes coconut trees and he is out of breath; and a coconut bonks off Norman's head. Which somehow leads to thousands of coconuts falling on him and burying him. HAHA! Mars laughs his ass off after that one and I agree because burials of Norman will always...you guessed it. Norman busts out of the coconut carnage seconds later and grabs a coconut and he bowls a coconut exactly like Fred Flintstone. And people accuse Baloo of this nonsense? Mars goes up and brings a bunch of bowling pin like fruit and sets it up like pins in a bowling alley. Norman gets an easy strike from this (BOO! HISS!) and Mars takes over the coconut and rolls on it. He rolls around Norman and Norman tries to grab his tail; but trips and falls on his ass. What a shocker?! So then Mars rolls into Middy's tent and goes through the back of the ten tearing it asunder. The tent collapses onto Middy. Norman had to see this whole thing and know Mars left the tent; but no.
Norman runs in and tackles Middy down from outside the tent. Then he PUTS OUT THE MIDDY~! UH OH! You pissed everyone off Norman! Now you must die! Middy finally pops her face from the tent and Norman is dead, done, toe-tagged, six feet under, in hell for all eternity...you get the picture here. He is about to die. Mars manages to steal Middy's camera in the confusion and he is going to take photos of Middy killing Norman; which I want to see happen. Of course; in the next shot, Middy is completely out of the tent now as Norman is begging for mercy, he should get none and I don't expect Middy to give him as such. Middy does show her considerate side by not cutting Norman's allowance before she grabs the purse and clobbers him off-screen as we get a snapshot of her nearly making contact with Norman's fathead. Too bad Middy doesn't have a spare camera; she should whack him on the head with that; just to make my life complete. Then she decides to cut his allowance after all as she chases Norman out of the jungle and out of sight in shadow while Mars looks on as we circle fade out to officially end Easter Sadism 2015 at 7:16. This was a really fun episode even if it's no Ransom Of The Red Chimp; because Middy clobbering Norman is ratings gold BABEE! Middy is not a bad Tiny Toons character all things considered; but that bump Mars took off the moon is so no buys! Call it *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow, for once Bonker's outshined Marsupilami in terms of host segments. Maurice even outshined Mars himself; because the summary lied to us: It was supposed to be about standing up to bullies; and it ended up being about staying in shape and Mars looked like a bully in which Maurice squashes him and the story ends with no payoff to the beginning of the story. Maurice was entertaining; but that was it and he cannot carry stuff like this by himself. Once again; He's Bonkers was a cluster muck of nothing funny and mostly annoying spots that made Bonkers look like a heel. One spot I did like was the freezing rain spot that ended up being the sprinkler system and smoke alarm which somehow got invented. Yeah; they couldn't make a simple fire; but somehow made a smoke alarm and sprinkler system. How did these furries live on?! Marsupilami was actually really, really good as they basically did a simpler and more G-rated version of Aunt Louise; only she got baby face heat because Norman is such an unlikable heel that seeing him get murdered and buried by his aunt was in fact funny. It was a really fun episode with a few wacky spots that made no sense; but the overall storyline made sense and Norman got his for being such an animal hater. Middy is a perfectly likable character actually. However; the best segment was probably the third best segment of all of Raw Toonage, next to Goofy's Guide to The Olympics and Don Karnage's host segment, which was Totally Tasteless Video segment of Badly Animated Man. Just remember that he is the way he is on purpose and it was four minutes of BAM being awesomely bad that it will make Chargeman Ken and Knack Animation hang their heads in shame. Seriously; it was great. It also had Gabby Jay, a mugger who no sold the beam ala Chargeman Ken and every 1960's/1970's bad trick in the television animation book; what more could you want from a parody. The only knock I can give to this segment is that everyone should have been animated in the early 1980's style to really hit the point home; and that would have made it the greatest segment in Raw Toonage history. So there you go; another Raw Toonage episode fully completed. So....
Thumbs down for Quest For Firewood and the Marsupilami host segment,thumbs in the middle pointing up for Safari So Good, thumbs up for Badly Animated Man and I'll see you all next time.