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Sony Always Wins, Baby~! 2017 Edition Part I
Reviewed: 04/15/2022
Pre-Switch Launch!
The truth is: Nintendo Switch never was respected and never will be. Nintendo was the devil incarnate and when Wii U failed, everyone with an axe to grind was ready to chop the devil into third party status. However, when Nintendo was dominating and by the console war standards, being #1; they all ignored Nintendo. Everytime Nintendo saw success, the usual was "Ignore it, and it will go away". It worked one time before because Nintendo wanted attention from the very people who wanted to see this company go away forever. Nintendo went to Pod Sony with Wii U and they paid the price from the gaming media and Sony, hellbent on the one console nation, while at the same time not allow the PC be that said nation. Investors hated it and Nintendo bleeded money all over the place with annual losses for the first time in decades, for the next three years. Their reputation sank like a stone and the amazing part is that their reputation is at the position it was in now. Some have blamed the gaming media for some petty decision Nintendo made for going to the masses instead of the press. I mean, in the press's eyes; Nintendo Directs were considered an afront to their journalism and that all announcements should be press conferences so they can directly laugh the company out of the building. Although after hearing how ESA doxxed said journalists, they have changed their tune about that and Nintendo didn't have to do a thing to make them change said tune. Then Nintendo NX was born, as Nintendo became Nintendo again. Only it wasn't the Nintendo from the Wii/DS era; it was the "Zero Fucks Given" Nintendo, the one we have never seen before. Nintendo combined their portable and console teams into one, a clue that the Nintendo Switch would be a hybrid to rule over all. No more two-tier gaming any longer (in spite of Nintendo Switch Lite nearly ruining that concept), where you play was more important than developers specs which PC would destroy in a heartbeat. Nintendo Switch wasn't flawless and a lot of the DS/Wii brand had to be flushed to make this work. Keep in mind that Nintendo did the same thing to Gameboy and Gamecube. They knew now that the gaming media didn't care and the haters will always hate. Murray O'Hair Nintendo was born and that's the most dangerous Nintendo ever. Yamaguchi couldn't pull this off, he said the quiet parts out loud and destroyed his creditability with his insane policies. Satoru Iwata was too kind and kindness was basically useless in a world where psychopathy is determined by your title. Never forgot how the Sony cockroaches tried to bully the Nintendo Switch into submission from the moment Switch was formally revealed on October 19th, 2016. So, how do you describe this time without destroying your mind?
Enter Nin10doUltra and his "Sony Always Wins" skits. After five years of craziness and Nintendo Switch actually reaching the heights the execs promised since they took over for Satoru Iwata when Iwata passed away from bile duct cancer in July of 2015; it's time to go over the early years of the Nintendo Switch and how the system's critics just lost control of the narrative that they themselves created. Nin10doUltra compressed the whole thing in three words, and is a really fair person. He has criticized Nintendo many times before, especially in recent years. So, this is not a person with a pro-Nintendo bias. He might have an anti-XBOX bias; but that is not what I'm covering here. Other than to warn XBOX fanboys whom I'm certain are self-aware of this: A lot of the narratives in this review that applied to the Nintendo Switch then and now can also apply to XBOX Series now. I will not be giving out star ratings for this one because the quality of the entertainment is not what I'm interested in, it's the narratives and how they were debunked. So let's rant on shall we...?!
Sadly, all of the really old Sony Always Wins Skits before the Switch ones are gone from the memory hole for being too vulgar. That means the Bayonetta 2 announcement is gone and the one where Nin10doUltra did a private version (read: fake sex with a plastic box at home) of some Sony fanboy pleasuring himself on a PS4 in a store in public. It was a fake spot; but the idea was based on that news report. Sadly, that news report also got disappeared down the memory hole.
"How Nintendo Switch Haters Wake Up in the Morning": This one aired on Youtube on January 22nd, 2017; days after the Nintendo Switch was fully unveiled to the public. I'm going to ignore the opening and ending segments of the video since they are nothing special to me, it's the usual Youtube user openings you see concerning video games and other stuff. So we begin in bed with our titluar character waking up from his bed. For my amusement and since the acronym works so perfectly here, we'll just call him SAW (Sony Always Wins); played by the user Nin10doUltra. SAW breaks the ice with this quote:
SAW: Another Day! Another time to complain about a system I ain't gonna buy!
Satire: Making saying the quiet parts out loud funny. SAW is loving life as he goes to the kitchen, and apparently SAW can break logic and reason because the EGGO Waffles pop from the toaster already. It's clear this was planned because the toaster was plugged in as well. SAW is loving life and eating waffles, because of course. "Sony Always Wins, Baby!" count is at one. More to come I assure thee. Okay, I'm counting "they always win" as a 1/2 on the counter. SAW wants some syrup but keeps on eat and jumping up and down like a four year old from Peppa Pig. Then we get a hilarious jump cut of him jumping from the kitchen back into his bed with a PlayStation 4 controller ready to play game. He is clearly playing a video game legit because the light on the top of the controller, which you cannot miss, is glowing blue. SAW talks about logging in to PSN (PlayStation Network) and playing Uncharted 4. Okay, nothing unusual there. Then he literally doesn't move anything and then sets the controller down and opens his laptop to go onto the internet, all within 15 seconds. First narrative: You see, PlayStation's fanboys never actually play their games and take to social media instead. Now, this would be fine if they were complaining about how bad the games they were playing are, since at least they are actually playing their games. Nintendo fanboys do this all the time, even if many times, the complaints are so petty that it isn't worth it. However, at least Nintendo fanboys know how to control Nintendo. Sony fanboys can never admit Sony is wrong and should change and therefore they will bash the competition. They tried this with Nintendo, a much softer target and failed so badly; that they are now doing it to Micosoft/XBOX and finding out that even XBOX fanboys do not like being Sony's punching bag either. SAW opens his laptop and sees news about a new console Nintendo is releasing called the Nintendo Switch. Put a pin into that because there's a narrative about Nintendo's decision to market the Nintendo Switch as a console rather than a hybrid. Next narrative: Zoom in to SAW yelling "$300"! SAW is like "Hold Up!" proclaiming that no one would ever by a $300 console at all. Then we get two grayscale flashbacks of SAW entering his house with a PlayStation 3 and later a PlayStation 4 which he bought the PS3 for $599 US DOLLARS~! Kaz's announcements at E3 2006 was the definition of a joke that wrote itself, along with Giant Enemy Crab, Ridge Racer and "Hit It's Weakpoint for Massive Damage!" PS4 was $400 for the console, $600 if you include extra controllers. But it don't matter because "Sony Always Wins, Baby~" count is now at 3 1/2.
Now, I get Nin10doUltra's pointing out the irony/hypocrisy of claiming no one would buy a $300 console while buying a $600 console from the competition. There's a problem with this attempt to refute: Remember that most hardcore Sony loyalists are gaming it up from a graphics/visual context as you'll see later on in the video. So, the price really doesn't matter unless the Nintendo Switch is on par with the PlayStation 4/XBOX One in specs. While the Nintendo Switch is underpowered, it is not as huge of a gap as most people think it is, so you can make a case from a graphic context that the Switch is worth $300 if it was the weakest of the three since weaker specs typically bring in bigger sales. However, there is a bigger context in play as to why you can successfully debunk this without pointing out hypocrisy since that is merely an observation and not a refutation: Look at the context from the average person and they see this as I did when Nintendo first revealed the system back in October 2016: The system is a hybrid, meaning if I wanted to play it as a handheld/portable I could. If I want to stream it off the television, I could and it's brilliant because it eliminates the biggest issue the Wii U had: Off TV play was nice, but it was so limited because the controller was the streamer. Nintendo had Wii U backwards and tried to be Pod Sony, and Pod Sony is worse than real Sony and real Sony is not impressive either, especially in the last five years or so. Also, if I want both a portable and a console combined, I could play it as a console without a television. Tabletop mode. To be fair, it would have been even more awesome if the stand wasn't so flimsy (a feature fixed in the OLED model), and while the horror stories of the stand breaking were hyperbole for clicks, it was still based off a nugget of truth. Basically; I was getting THREE systems at around a $750 value if they were all seperate for less than half of the price. That's huge. Plus, regions where space is a preminum are the most likely to buy this system (*COUGH* Japan *COUGH*), because the Switch is so small, it's like a tablet sipping 7-18 Watts of power (in the context of energy consumpation, depending on system model) while maintaining a good battery life especially in the revised version of Nintendo Switch and do I have a story to tell about how I think Nintendo sabotaged the Switch Lite to both apease and spite the investors who thought an entry-level handheld was a good idea. That's another story for another time. This is one reason why people were willing to buy the Switch, although making it a pure gaming system over the entertainment center model (which is what Wii U was and failed) was a far bigger deal, curation used as a toy be damned. Plus, even if you add extra controllers, it's still at most $500. Still less than all three systems, in which you have to buy extra controllers for each system, so maybe $1000+ value.
TL;DC (Too Long; Don't Care)- Haters determine prices based on graphics. Everyone else is based on the actual hardware being three different systems in one. Normally this fails, but Nintendo got the concept monster over (literally within the first minute of the preview video back in October of 2016) and really never looked back.
I should note that this flashback would have been even funnier if they were actually filmed on the days he bought the systems and it was in the archives of his computer somewhere ready to post. You can tell that it was recent since the boxes had little volume, especially the PS4 box. We head back to reality (no, not really) as SAW blows this whole thing off, then notices the Pro-Controller controllers are $70 and blows that off as over-priced because SAW lacks self-awareness since he is willing to buy an XBOX One Elite Controller for $133 ON SALE (original price was $150)! Then buy a reskin PS4 Dualshock Controller for $65 which he buys on-line and adds to the cart which apparently, was from Wal-Mart. Just a note: The music in the background is from Fire Emblem: Awakening in case anyone gives an elf. SAW's use of a laptop is hideously hilarious and you need to watch the video to believe it. I cannot do it justice, it was funny. Sony Always Win count is at 4 1/2 in this video roughly two minutes in. Unlike Bubsy's catchphrase, SAW's catchphrase literally cracks me up for the right and wrong reasons. Also, SAW is suppose to be annoying, because fanboys are very annoying. SAW gets another 1/2 catchphrase, so the count is at 5. SAW finally decides to get his controller and the catchphrase count is now at 6. Fade to black, so SAW is ashamed to show off his playing skills; not that it would matter since we never got to see the television. Don't worry, that is coming in a future video. SAW goes back to his laptop and this time he reveals resolution for Zelda: Breath Of The Wild running at 900p. Keep in mind, Nintendo themselves was selling this system as a console first and that it was word of mouth and people with eyes that knew it was going to be sold as a hybrid in equal footing. One of the few "mistakes" made in Nintendo's marketing and that was falling into the "Wii U 2.0" narrative Sony cockroaches (a term used to describe fanboys in Japan, because ponies are cool and are not disliked.) used to discredit Nintendo's narrative; but couldn't stand against the average person's narrative of being a hybrid. To be fair to Nintendo, Nintendo did have a good pragmatic reason for marketing it as a console first. However, it came with risks.
So, you can see why Sony fans were bashing the system as weak; because again, they play on performance as power rather than the average person who loved Switch because they could play almost anywhere they want. Of course, since the elements are involved, gamers must consider the risks of playing electronics outside of their home, and sometimes in the home (dust etc.). Just to note: in portable mode (undocked) 720p is considered overkill because portables are closer to the person's face than a giant big screen television. Keep in mind that the Nintendo Switch blows away Nintendo 3DS in specs despite 3DS having features the Switch doesn't have; but most of those never really got over with the masses. This partially explains why Nintendo killed Miiverse and had social media function transfered over to Twitter and the like: A much larger userbase and it is far more open -- partially explaining why Nintendo opted for more open source software on the developers side and was more open to software engines since the Switch no longer used the Gamecube model of hardware and was using Nvidia's hardware to open the door for more gaming engines, thus opening up a new pool of games to be released for it and driving me crazy on the research side of things -- than Miiverse ever would be. Also, it forced gamers to play the games in order to create social media moments. Higher resolutions like 4K and 8K are okay if you are watching something about 10-20 feet away, like a giant screen television; but mostly 1080p will suffice, which is the maximum resolution of the Nintendo Switch in docked mode. I made the mistake in suggesting that the Switch OLED should have 1080p in undocked mode in order to get the system to be 1:1 with the docked mode without taking into consideration that it drains battery life more (a feature that is often the deal maker or breaker in most portables, including mobile, especially mobile) and makes everything smaller. Again, people think "bigger numbers good, smaller numbers bad" is good until it is not. Environment and lingustic factors often play into these decisions. SAW blows this off as a weak system and claims that it cannot run a Wii U port even though Switch for the most part was more powerful than Wii U.
There are a few aspects where Wii U was more powerful, raw numbers wise by the thinnest of margins (although that got resolved in the first revision, rendering the advantage totally moot), especially in portable mode, but that couldn't be helped since the max resolution is 720p, and the portable factors made it feel like it was a 4K system, without being so. Also, most new games on a new console especially a cross generation game like Zelda: Breath Of The Wild, have growing pains. Besides, resolution can be dymanically scaled according to each system, sometimes within the same game itself. Just a reminder: All of the Switch growing pains can easily be applied to SteamDeck, and SteamDeck will get less heat for such because (a) Nintendo is evil (never mind Valve didn't have curation until people started noticing that games that should have never been made were on the system and since been removed) and (b) any competition in the portable space would be a good thing. The later is true, however; it means nothing if the competition cannot convince the average consumer that their system has good battery life and is easy to maintain. SteamDeck is still a system for nerds and geeks. Sure, there is a big enough audience to make money off of it; but it's nothing compared to Nintendo Switch. The PC base is 1.9 billion units; but like mobile, how many play games on their phone/computer? That base dwindles so much that success is determined if you can get 10% of that; which is still a large enough audience to surpass consoles and portables. Besides, SteamDeck's marketing was for people who want to enjoy games from the PC without getting a full rig. However, the system is basically a portable with slightly better performance than Switch, a much bigger library than Switch will ever have, and much less battery life. You get what you paid for. Man, I'm barely halfway through this video, and it feels like a 25 minute episode of Mega Man compressed in 3 minutes. DID I JUST SAY..?! Never mind. SAW then notices Mario Kart 8 being 1080p 60 frames per second; which like most Nintendo Switch games, frame rate can be scaled within the game itself. If a compentent developer and programmer figures this out, you see a lot of ports like World War Z which look better than PlayStation 4, or Hellblade for instance, which despite using cutscenes that are in-engine but not in real time, but the gameplay looks good; it is still impressive.
Remember, Switch is literally a system that sips 7-11 Watts of energy and no other system can make games run with that little energy consumpation. Steam Deck can do it at 15 Watts, albeit with a lot less battery power. But enough of me pointing out Steam Deck flaws; Red Out is also mentioned. I'm 100% certain that the RedOut performance was much weaker than expected since it took many years before the game was ever released. Blaming Nintendo for lying about it -- which is exactly what SAW does here -- is silly since RedOut was from a third party publisher/developer. Put a pin on that because in a future video, you'll see why SAW is blaming Nintendo. Hint: Licensed By Nintendo automatically means published by Nintendo. Which is a blantant lie that damaged the creditability of third party publishers and developers much more than Nintendo ever could. Trust me, Mr. Yamaguchi's policies in the 1980's and 1990's which Nintendo almost never followed themselves (a lot of emphasis on "never followed themselves") did a lot more damage to the brand than even Nintendo's censorship. Remember that when I mention the "Sony Check". Also, Microsoft and Sony were either weeks away or had already released the PS4 Pro and XBOX One X, which would usher in the 4K era. Where have I seen this before? Oh, yeah, the 1080p HD XBOX 360 and PS3 against Wii and DS. Guess who won that one and guess what the haters believe? The right answer is Nintendo DS rearing back and killing everyone, Wii won the console battle in the 7th generation; but the reality answer was XBOX 360 which did beat Wii in North America, because GLOBALISM~! Nothing has changed in the 9th generation, except for the fact that Nintendo Switch is DS and Wii combined now. Whatever, this answer was as unacceptable as SAW calling Switch unacceptable as he folds up his laptop. He finds his cellphone and calls up his friend to inform him that Nintendo Switch is garbage. Scene change to the friend who is answering SAW on the phone, played by Nin10doUltra once again. For the purposes of my amusement, his friend's gimmick is that he is there to confirm SAW's bias, so I call him Bias Confirmation. Ironically, Bias is in the same hallway as SAW was in the flashbacks earlier in the video. Anyhow, Bias basically confirms his bias, basically being the troll on forums online, no surprise there.
"Sony Always Wins, Baby" count is at 7 now as Bias states that he refuses to buy any console unless it has Sony's logo on it. The narrative: Sony fans defend the symbol on the box instead of playing the games on said system with said logo. Nintendo fanboys have a lot of faults; but supporting the games on said system is not one of them. More on that later, or you can read my Nintendo Switch reports on Live Journal. Next narrative: SAW hates Mario because it's a kiddie game, and he plays video games to determine his manhood. Yup, toxic masculinity. It's funny that he claims he doesn't care nor anyone cares, forgetting that the "20,000 Frenchmen Cannot Be Wrong" logical fallacy is often entertainment's business model. Also, anytime someone uses the word "kiddie" unironically is often a dog whistle for pedophile, and often the accuser is the pedophile. This is why using "kiddie" unironically is highly distasteful and hopefully it is mere insecurity about certain games instead of something much more sick, awful, illegal and wrong. Splatoon 2 is mentioned; which is probably the closest answer Nintendo has against Halo actually, especially after the second one sales wise. We then get the zoom in shot of "Sony Always Wins, Baby~! They Are The Best~! That was decisive to say the least, and the SAWB count is now at 8 and 9 and 9 1/2. SAW finally hangs up and goes back to his laptop; blowing off Nintendo Switch On-Line, which to be fair, was not good even at the reduced price and really hasn't improved much to impress me. Then again, I never liked on-line chats regardless, so maybe it wasn't for me. Note that SAW calls this Nintendoland (which is a legit party game on Wii U that launched on said console, I'm shocked Nintendo hasn't considered this for Switch yet.), he doesn't say the quiet part out loud here and that is that Sony fanboys care more about punching down on Nintendo fanboys than rising up and playing video games on their plastic box 4 and/or 5 and/or Vita. I'll give SAW this, two things in this video turned out to be true though. SAW claims that their on-line is the best and I'm pretty sure Microsoft's is better; although I have never played an XBOX before and I'm sorry for that. Maybe one day, I'll play XBOX, maybe. I'm more willing to give Microsoft a chance (even after the Red Ring of Death incident) than with Sony. Sony is truly the best counts as a 1/2; so count stands at 10!
SAW puts the laptop away and starts playing with the controller. By the way, saying "master race" unironically is a violation of Godwin's Law, so cringe. At least "the mustard racers" was funny and I can laugh at it; but anyone who studies history and understands words=power would realize how bad this is. SAW is loving life and then his controller falls from his hands and SAW starts to panic. Apparently, PSN is down which happens to all online services no matter what you do, sometimes your Internet Service Provider can be down. I used to have the "50Webs Strikes Again" as a hashtag on LiveJournal, just for these moments. Then, somehow; SAW figures out that his account has been hacked. SAW is panicky and doesn't know what to do. Now, if Nin10doUltra has just faded to black right there, this would have been a perfect video. However, the user makes the same mistake Malkimum makes in his videos (Malkimum is basically SAW in such an unironic way that it makes the SAW videos look like a professional Poe in comparsion): Let's bring out an out of nowhere knife and threaten to cut the neck and commit suicide. Not cool at all! Basically, he pulls the knife and before we can see the result, we go to grayscale with the Persona 5 "To Be Continued..." screen superimposed on the image and that ends the video. Cut out the attempted suicide crap, and this is dead on perfect. Hell, just having him bring out a knife and then going to the Persona 5 ending sequence would have been better. So far, SAW's damage control is somewhat justified; but this is just the beginning...
"What Nintendo Switch Haters Go Through At Night!": This episode aired on Feb. 9th, 2017, just weeks before Horizon Zero Dawn and Zelda: Breath Of The Wild come out to do an epic battle between the game that did the Zelda as the warrior against the Zelda where Link was the warrior. I had to maintain my composure to prevent myself from laughing my ass off after typing that considering what happened afterwards. Hint: Ocarina of Time was no longer the Zelda standard any longer. So, it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as SAW is on his PC on the internet with the lights out, which is not a good idea; but toxic masculinity rules, so there you go. Apparently, some jambroni named Blunty made a video dissing PlayStation 4 and saying that Sony was afraid of the Switch. Personally, I wasn't offended, but it's silly. When Sony puts their games on the Nintendo Switch, then they would be scared of the Switch. Putting their games on PC does not count. Sorry, PC fanboys; but it's true as much as I have no problem of Sony putting their games on PC to recoup the costs since most gamers play Fortnite for free, or something. However, SAW is gravely offended by this. So much so, that he's disliking and flagging videos left and right. Apparently, this was a dig on some jambroni named BlackBond, who apparently had a major league feud (well, as major as social media feuds can be) with TheRealDoctre81, another user who debunks misinformation about video game systems. More videos get flagged and disliked all because Switch might be a serious contender now and it is, it started the ninth generation of systems, not just console by design, but portable by third pillar designation. Rule of thumb: If Nintendo calls a system a third pillar and not a replacement for other systems, that is a blantant lie via hedging thy bets. Michael Pachter is doing the exact same thing when he's saying that Sony is doomed. Nintendo wanted the Switch to be a console first since the WiiU was done and the Nintendo 3DS was hot enough still and Nintendo didn't want to cut off the 3DS fanbase even though even that fanbase knew the writing was on the wall from the beginning. He calls the Nintendo fanboys stupid with stupid takes. To be fair, a lot of Nintendo fanboys are not very bright. On the other hand, SAW lacks the self-awareness that power is often tricky and the weakest systems are often the best sellers.
Also, SAW notices the pre-orders surpassing Wii U's numbers; but SAW blows it off. He is correct; pre-orders don't mean much when you can easily get refunds on said pre-orders. Profits are what counts, weither you get them from hardware sales, software sales and other things. Dollar sales are nice, but it's a repackaged version of revenue. Revenue is great until the costs are factored in, then it means little if the costs are at or higher than the dollar sales. Remember what businesses's ultimate goals are: Profit. Sadly for SAW; people didn't turn on this like a lot of pre-orders did with WiiU. Sony Always Wins count is at 11. So, it took SIX MINUTES to tie Bubsy's catchphrase record that took Bubsy's television pilot 25 MINUTES to pull off! Only difference: SAW is suppose to be an annoying heel; Bubsy was supposed to be the babyface. I should note that SAW is implying that a lot of Sony Fanboys are likely Donald Trump supporters, because of course. This is also the unofficial debut of the bottle of water as he drinks some water, and then...DON'T DRINK AND READ~! SPITTAKE~! Because there is a graph showing that the Switch pre-order are FAR bigger than the Wii U pre-orders. I'm glad Nin10doUltra showed this graph (check the blue line on the top and the red line on the bottom) because I wouldn't have believed it at first. SAW panics because the Switch not only outdid the WiiU pre-orders, they were on par with the PlayStation 4 pre-orders. Remember, Nintendo marketed this system as a console first, and it's weak according to SAW, meaning when the pre-orders would be at around PS4 level, that means people don't care about the graphic narrative. SAW tries to clam down and is struggling profusely as he decides to turn the lights on before he has another stroke. We do two jump cuts to show SAW's hand turning on the light switch and then return to the computer as SAW calls this crazy. He's sort of right; but not in the way he thinks it is. SAW then gets a phone call and apparently, in this world there is a ringless, vibrationless cellphone that somehow SAW answers anyway. It's his doctor, who is also played by...you guessed it. I wondered what the point this was, until I realized that SAW tried to kill himself on the previous video, so that was the payoff to that angle. The doctor took some scans of his brain and apparently, it is a result of hating a plastic box.
As pathetic as it is to hate/worship a piece of plastic, it's still less dangerous and less pathetic than worshipping a torture god that only exists in a cluster B homo sapien vampiris' head. Anyhow, the doctor asks if SAW needs an appointment, SAW says he's fine and medication is all he needs. SAW hangs up and then throws his cellphone across the room, pissed off because of said plastic box that hasn't even been released yet. He's not fine as SAW decides to go to his room, take his glasses off and go to sleep to calm down, which is not a bad idea. Sony Always Win count is at 11 1/2 as we fade to black. Dream sequence ensues. I know this because SAW claims he's playing Horizon Zero Dawn, which has not been released yet at this point. SAW is sitting down, playing on the light on, and it's clearly a dream because he plays the game more here than any other time in real life! That was funny. He calls Horizon Zero Dawn "Da Bomb" because SONY ALWAYS WINS~ count is at 12 1/2; breaking Bubsy's catchphrase record outright within eight minutes. He blows off Zelda and Nin10doUltra's spots with the controller are hilarious. No self-respecting fanboy ever does this, not even Nintendo fanboys, unless we broke a record or something. Then suddenly, the Nintendo Switch snap fingers click sound is heard, and this confuses SAW. SAW goes through his house for a while complete with creepy sad cancer music as he puts the controller down and we go into Z-Grade monster movie shadows mode, just to further the creep atomosphere. SAW climbs up the stairs as we switch to a FPS shot of the stairs. See what I did there? SAW suddenly sees a Nintendo Swith box superimposed on the screen and some moaning voice saying: "Ah, my guest!" This is enough for SAW to be scared and run away like a scalded dog saying "Oh Na! Oh na!" over and over again. He runs through rooms. In the confusion, we see a katana and SAW grabs it and acts all defensive, like there is an intruder in this house. SAW is in darkness as he is prepared to stab someone that doesn't exist, and a door opens to a bedroom as the Nintendo Switch itself is superimposed with Reggie Fils-Aime's infamous "What's wrong with you?!" quote spoken before SAW wakes up hyper-ventilating for real. By the way, the position of the camera made it look like SAW was being choked out by someone, just to up the creep factor more. SAW is relieved that this is a dream, little does he know. Apparently, he found the controller and Sony Always Wins is up to 13 1/2 and 14. SAW plays the game to end the video. This was really fun, but few narratives to debunk here.
"How Nintendo Haters Reacted to the Zelda Breath of the Wild Review Scores!": This video aired on March 8th, 2017; days after Horizon Zero Dawn and Zelda: Breath Of The Wild. We begin with SAW playing off-television footage of Horizon Zero Dawn, and I believe this is the first time SAW was legit playing a game, and not cosplaying playing a game, so that was fun. Horizon looks okay and the gameplay looks fine, it certainly doesn't have the issues Horizon Forbidden West would have five years later. By the way, I'm not done making fun of Horizon Zero Dawn because the next video has one of my favorite graphical debunks of all time. It's glorious. So, SAW plays as Sony Always Wins is up to 15 and 15 1/2 references at this point. Nin10doUltra's playing of this game is good, thus making SAW look good for a change. SAW calls this game the "Game Of The Year". Put a pin on that because there is a video upcoming on this very thing. Alloy is shooting arrows and Sony Always Wins is up to 17 1/2 now. Alloy is a really likable character and the main appeal of this game, but Gurrella Games isn't really a great shakes when it comes to video game development gameplay wise. Although, I would love to see Nintendo do a mainline Zelda game with Zelda as the main fighter over Link, I won't lie. This goes on for a long ass whomping time; which is good for SAW's reputation as a gamer at least. Sony Always Wins count up to 19 1/2 after another headshot. Another headshot ensues and he is cheering this, so SAW has a blood lust for violence. SAW calls this game the Zelda killer. Zobe70 was confused about what the game was supposed to be back in September of 2016, using a lot of multiplat games that were compared to, including the horse in Red Dead Redempation; which is hilarious since Zelda: Ocarina of Time had the horse well before that. The Sony fanboys decided on Zelda because Nintendo was smaller as a company than Sony and thus a softer target. Ironically, Nintendo was no longer the kind and gentle Nintendo Iwata instilled, and that Nintendo became the business Nintendo which worked out because now they could fight back. Once Sony failed to stop the smaller company, they would focus on Microsoft, picking on the wrong company who had money, thinking that if they were smaller, they would be the victim, even if Sony came off as the aggressor in these situations.
That's why Sony is in the state it's in: Sony can dish it out, but cannot take it. They used the sword, but threw the armor and shield out. By the way, SAW calls this the Zelda killer thrice. To be fair, this was at a time when calling it the Zelda killer was believable and in two years, the game did surpass Ocarina of Time in sales. That's really good. The problem is, Breath of The Wild reared back and destroyed almost every Sony game in existence, in more ways than one. Zelda: Breath Of The Wild was the game of the ninth generation, a HAVOK experiment gone right and a Zelda game that outsold a mainline Mario game (In fact, only three mainline Mario games have outsold this Zelda and at the rate Zelda is going, it might be just Super Mario Brothers on NES left.) and over 25 million units with a few sales and mostly at $60. Horizon needed PC, PlayStation 4, price reductions to the sub $20 level and a free games programs just for PS4 to reach 18.5 million units (20 million units with PC) and we only knew about it because Super Mario Party was going to continue embrassing Sony PlayStation 4 exclusives. This also happened to God Of War 2018 as well, and expect this to happen to all Sony games in future when remakes are made. Sony realizes that they messed with the wrong Nintendo and are trying to salvage their reputations as much as they can. Oh, and there's the new "Sony Check" debacle, cannot forget that. Sadly, there's no videos from Nin10doUltra mocking it, so there you go. SAW pauses the game at one minute, twelve seconds to take a break. Basically he jumps into his computer chair because all Sony fanboys play Twitter instead of their games. HAR! HAR! This time, it's time to go to Metacritic; the place where review scores are shown and calculated. Metacritic is a joke and is useless when Sony and others are gaming the system by preventing certain reviewers from giving their opinions on there via review codes. See Stevivor not getting Grand Tursimo 7 codes after giving Horizon Forbidden West a 6.5/10. Hell, there was the debacle with the Washington Post giving Uncharted 4 a 4 out of 10 where there were petitions to remove that score from MetaCritic. I think Jim Sterling got the same treatment of being unable to get review codes from Nintendo after he gave Zelda: Breath Of The Wild a 7/10, which is not a bad score, and it really didn't do much to the final score of 97 on Metacritic. So, any Nintendo fanboy gnashing of teeth and whining just came off as petty swabbling. Also, it didn't negatively affect sales and profits in anyway, so the verbal beatdown on Jim was completely pointless and made Nintendo fanboys look like complete toxic tools.
Anyhow, SAW talks about how Horizon got a high score which is 89, which is very good to excellent. Zobe70 would have given it a 50 at the most. The guise of this is that Breath Of The Wild cannot beat Horizon on Metacritic while slapping a plastic box, and it's literally a plastic box containing Horizon. Videogames being pieces of plastic is often an insult, since electronics are mostly silicon chips, metal, plastic and other materials. Naunce is not a gamer's strong point, but at least the game boxes play it straight with pieces of plastic because they are all plastic (minus the disc, which is also plastic). By the way, I apologize for giving away the score in advance as SAW claims that Zelda got a 70 on Metacritic. HA! That was Jim Sterling's score of the game. Nice little attention to detail by Nin10doUltra. No, I'm not salty, I'm bitter. SAW checks the score and then he bounces back in his chair in shock and starts to panic because Zelda got a 97 on Metacritic, which is one of the highest scores of all time. That's the gaming media's score by the way. SAW is pissed off at this as he's going to go to the "User's Score" and give it a 0, engaging in the unethical and dishonest tactic of review bombing. This is why people want to see "User Reviews" fired into the sun, because most fanboys write on games they never played, let alone bought. While the gaming media makes mistakes and the review system is gamed, at least most reviewers do in fact play the game even when it's often not enough. Video games are a different beast altogether and trying to make reviews like movies is laughable when you put more than ten seconds of thought into it. Anyhow, SAW's review is that "Zelda is trash and kiddie; graphics are PS2 quality and has hand holding as hell. Horizon is better." Okay, #1: kiddie is either insecurity or an admission of being a pedophile, so bad look for the user, #2: If the graphics are PS2 quality, so is Horizon Zero Dawn when it's not in cutscene mode, which is half of the time at least and you don't control cutscenes and #3 If Breath Of The Wild is a hand holding game, than Horizon Zero Dawn puts you in a full nelson and walks you through the entire game. Horizon Forbidden West even more so, although that is optional. I would still prefer a movie mode for Horizon since Sony is at it's best when they make music and movies, not video games. "Sony Always Wins" is now at 20 1/2. Oh, and SAW goes to his cellphone and text messages his friends (which apprently is either 6, 8, or 10 people depending on what water SAW was drinking before making that comment since there was a scene changer in between his review and the calling of his friends) who didn't play the game to give "Zelda: Breath Of The Trash" a zero. HAR! HAR! Hence, the review bombing. SAW is loving life now as there are negative scores shown on MetaCritic including a 3 which taints the creditability even more now.
SAW: Since the day, I was born; I always knew Sony was always winning!
Yeah, you showed us all, SAW; now it's 21 1/2 references. By the way, the one who scored a 3 claimed that Breath of the Wild would have zero replay value. Oh, how wrong this user was as the game continued to be replayable and that was five years later. Even with DLC, it don't matter since Nintendo hasn't released DLC on the game for years now. Scene changer as SAW fishes for more news for Nintendo Switch, all bad news of course. Oh, and the Switch is making noises and dead pixels, and this is enough for SAW to claim that those Switches are broken. Funny, the broken fan stuff hasn't really become an issue until recently and dead pixels are a bane on all portable systems, since Switch is a hybrid and portable is secondary. For the moment, anyway. Besides, controller drift is a far more common problem, but that's a ninth generation issue, not just a Nintendo issue, which ironically gets the most negative news on Nintendo. "Sony Always Wins" is now at 22 1/2. But then something comes up and we get footage from various Youtubers having their PlayStation 4's overheating and causing them to crash, reset and causes bone shaped crap plastered on their screens. Apparently, the first video shows a Playstation 4 motherboard frying. Also, one of the few times someone said fucking in these videos. The second video shows someone playing a space game and claiming that the PS4 is defective. The man in the astro suit reveals himself, the game crashes on the pause menu with the bone shaped crap on screen. Apparently, downloading games causes this issue. Next video: Friends screen (and they complained about this on Nintendo platforms?!) is boned shaped crapped up and apparently this has already happened SEVEN TIMES before this! Something tells me that overheating might be the issue. Building your system like a PC without taking environmental and science factors into console design into account, especially when PC laughs in your face specs wise no matter what you do is a pathetically sad sight. Nintendo understands this and that's why you never hear developers specs from them unless it's from developers themselves. Nintendo knows that this wanking just makes you look like a scummy used car salesperson. Next video, same thing with a lot of noise. I have had this happen on my own PC once a month, but never with the bone shaped crap on my screen.
Next video, a game crashes with a lot of noise. Luckly, someone rested his PlayStation 4 before it got really overbearing. Next video is someone playing Call Of Duty Ghosts (speaking of radioactive brands...); and the user selects an option and gets a black screen. This sounds like COD's fault a lot more than the hardware though, and we get one more PS4 fried as it's making beeping noises during the reset. In the end, SAW is demonstrating the classic "splinter in eye while ignoring the logs in your own eyes" fallacy. So, after all this, SAW is whining and complaining as his world has come apart before his very eyes. And he knows this was happening to make himself look like an even bigger cockroach when he yells "Don't remind me! Don't remind me!" Sony Always Win count is 24 now and we barely a combined 16 minutes. Bubsy would hang his head in shame for this and even he is shameless when it comes to whoring himself in public. This is also the first post-Wii U era skit where SAW runs and hides in the closet to end the video. Sadly, the Bayonetta Wii U version has since disappeared down the memory hole. Another really great video, I enjoy seeing SAW squirm for my pleasure.
The Review Line - The pre-Switch build up to 2017 was really good, but the real funny and hilarious parts are yet to come. The first video build up SAW pretty strong as one who despite being debunked; he still was in control until the end where Nin10doUltra did a really stupid ending that was not cool. SAW is the perfect heel here in that he is Bubsy, but you are suppose to boo him because he's beyond the pale annoying and makes zero apologies for it. Bias Confirmation so far has been built strong, but his breakdown into hell doesn't start until Splatoon 2 was released, so that is coming. The other two videos were fun; but man the debunking of the narratives took forever to do and I may have oversimplified the debunking way too much due to time. I didn't think it would take this long, so I'm going to have to do a maximum of three videos per rant in order to preserve my sanity. Analyzing this is less fun than watching it and laughing at the antics. So, next rant, we have SAW finally starting to really lose it as he thinks he can win a graphics race with Zelda: Breath Of The Wild, whines about a console that sold less than 3DS launch aligned, almost tries to kill his room mate in the most obvious exposing the business move ever, and it's Splatoon 2 versus Crash Bandicoot remastered, who wins. The result will surprise you as the cracks of Bias Confirmation slowly start to show.