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Sony Always Wins, Baby~! 2018 Edition Part II
Reviewed: 04/16/2022
More Irony & Porn!
Let's continue on with more irony and let's bring Super Smash Brothers Ultimate to the table as well. So, let's rant on shall we...?
"Nintendo Switch Hater Reacts To Octopath Traveler Sales": This episode aired on July 19, 2018, days after Octopath Traveler was released. Ironically, this would be a full year before Kit Cloudkicker and Molly Cunningham as adults would be confirmed for Ducktales 2017! For a change of pace, we start not with SAW, but with NAW loving life and enjoying Octopath Traveler. He's not only actually playing the game as a gamer would, he's not going into granidose dellusions about how Nintendo is winning because in the minds of most Nintendo fanboys, we already won and there's no reason to rub it in. If you are a gamer, PLAY THE GAME~! It's like being a goaltender and tending the goal. Thanks, Steve Dangle, and may David Ayres haunt your dreams for the rest of your natural life. NAW's favorite character is Therion and we play his gimmick of stealing from others, because he's the thief of the game. I wonder how many takes it took to get the "Random Number Generator" in NAW's favor when Therion was trying to steal the Silent Bandana at 8%. RNG is mostly a Fire Emblem thing when you can cheese the poor game by button presses and select/canceling. Yeah. NAW's prepartion to steal this 8% item was fabulous as well as then SAW appears wearing the Sony Always Wins, Baby t-shirt and a Tokyo Ghoul hat, because he's a Sony shill who doubles as a comtemptable ghoul at this point. SAW asks what game NAW is playing and NAW admits that it's Octopath Traveler for the Nintendo Switch. SAW is like "why is it on a Nintendo console" because SAW cannot get the perverted kiddie nut out of his head. It's also comical for him to say that when Octopath Traveler would have been a perfect fit on any Nintendo console. Plus, it's a pixel 2D game, the sort of game Sony fanboys shun all the time because of a lack of realism. It also shows Sony cockroaches want the one console nation; but don't want it to be PC which is an open ecosystem and thus a one console nation is possible and politics prevent that sort of thing.NAW is clearly new to this "kiddie" insult; because he's confused. Again, it shows SAW at best has insecurity and toxic masculinity issues and at worst, he might be a pedophile misdirecting like a psychopath would. Neither one makes SAW look good.
SAW decides to not get mad for once and bails. Anyway, Nintendo screwed up this launch big time. They thought it wouldn't have sold as much as it did and not cause sell outs because it's a 2D RPG with pixel art. How wrong they were at that. And there are no shipments until August. Even Nintendo doesn't think people are buying the games on the Switch. So comical. Octopath was #1 on the Nintendo Switch in July on NPD and Nintendo Switch was #1 in the month of July in both units and dollar sales. Just like last year; only it wasn't a sequel like Splatoon 2 was, and Splatoon 2 was polygonal. SAW goes downstairs and is incensed because this game should be on his plastic box 4/5/Vita, which it still isn't to this very day. It's on XBOX One; but Sony fans hate Microsoft more than Nintendo nowadays, Stadia is nothing and PC is like bending the knee to the vision they want, instead of being the last one standing. SAW is basically hoping that it's on PS4 because he never heard of this game before. Yeah, because you shill one and done games like Spider-Man. Oh, and it better not sell on that Kidtendo. Oops! I gave the plot away on that one. SAW goes into the dining room while his conveniently placed laptop is on the table, just ready to give SAW the bad news. When will SAW stop Godwinning his own segments?! SAW panics because it's not on a Sony plastic box of doom. SAW cannot believe that this game refuses to bend the knee to Sony. To be fair, I'm surprised it's not on a Sony platform, but is on a Microsoft platform! If you are Microsoft, that is a big deal to have a JRPG; because it doesn't happen all that often. SAW checks the sales and he panics as a headline reads that Octopath Traveler is selling out worldwide as Nintendo screwed up the gauging of this title. Sadly, as I am reminded time and time again with Nintendo products, Nintendo is the worst when it comes to gauging demand. To the point where they get accused of artifical sacreity week in and week out when they are successful! Also, much worse when a system actually flops, ala Wii U!
SAW yells that this cannot be real as he finds a way to run stage left and jump into the sofa in one motion. SAW covers himself with a blanket protesting this outrage, but there's not a damn thing SAW can do about it. SAW cannot believe this is happening and then proclaims that there is one thing to do. Now, I know what you are thinking: He should buy a Nintendo Switch to play it now; or buy an XBOX to play it in 2021. Both are reasonable answers, but this is SAW we are talking about, where Sony always wins, and cannot swallow it's pride and admit that Sony many times loses, especially when Sony starts porting their first party games on PC. SAW is going to...wait for it...port begging by tweeting SquareEnix while fully covered in a blanket to hide the shame of him port begging. I'm not a fan of port begging, but I'm not going to a say that I never do it. I have port begged for Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth on Nintendo Switch for the longest time, and that game might still happen since a mobile port was released years ago. SAW goes to his laptop and types his greivances to SquareEnix. Sadly, they did port Octo over: on XBOX One! HAHA! That'll show SAW and his hypocritical ways! SAW threatens heart attacks on himself if it doesn't come to Sony as he falls on his ass onto the floor to end the video.
"Smash Ultimate Port-Sayer Reacts To The Smash Ultimate Direct": This is a bonus episode that aired on August 10th, 2018 since SAW wouldn't play Smash Ultimate anyway; we have a new character who doesn't really hate Nintendo, but is critical of Super Smash Brothers. Played by Nin10doUltra of course. We begin with NAW sneaking around the house for no reason, other than thinking SAW might be on his case again. Luckly, SAW has decided to leave the area for the Nintendo Switch Rehabilitation Center~! NAW goes downstairs and sees no one of note other than the hard camera. So, NAW declares it safe because some guy hates Smash Ultimate for goodness knows what reason, and brings out the laptop. SAW puts on an oversized neck warmer, so I guess Nin10doUltra had some neck problems while filming this. Yeah, this was at the time when Nintendo did a Smash Brothers Direct and introduced Simon Belmont and DK Rool for the first time. I have already reviewed this Direct in it's entirety, so I'm not going to go over what NAW saw. Nin10doUltra said Richard, not Richter Belmont in an obvious gaffe. Reminds me of Malkimum calling acquisions "accusations" in his videos. NAW is right about Sakurai losing it, as evident in the World Of Light trailer months later that will be on every highlight reel for at least a decade. NAW is loving life so much that after this Direct is over that NAW is overdoing it. I cannot blame him, Smash Brothers is always a high viewing trailer for reasons such as NAW described. NAW is so hyped up and out of control that NAW decides TO DO THAT DANCE~! This is the most hilariously bad happy dance I have ever seen. I cannot do it justice, that was worth $50 just for that moment alone. The music choice makes this even more hilarious than it should be. No Fortnite dance sequence can top this one. Sadly, here comes the hater to ruin the whole damn thing, of course. We'll call him SPT (Smash Port) as he demands answers to this outrage. NAW claims that he was doing some support dancing, which I guess is true, but SPT is not buying what NAW is selling because he was watching that Smash Brothers Direct. That's bad because, Super Smash Brothers Ultimate is a Wii U port, you see. It's cross-gen. Even if that was true, which it isn't; it's not like Mario Kart 8 Deluxe being cross-gen nor Zelda: Breath Of The Wild being cross-gen didn't stop them for selling more on Switch. Wii U was a dumpster fire to say the least.
This narrative of Smash Brothers Ultimate being a Wii U Port, aka "the same game" is actually a milder version of the same narrative used for Forza Horizon 5, which cockroaches claim that it's DLC with a location change. That last part kills the narrative, and remember Spider-Man Miles Morales was accused of the same thing and there was confusion all abound about weither it was DLC or not. On PlayStation 4, yes; on PlayStation 5, technically yes, but not really. See what I mean? It's a deflection techinque here. Here, even Nintendo fanboys thought it was a port of Wii U because of some statement that they were reusing models. Which some Microsoft fanboys used on God of War Raganrok with Kratos getting into the boat animation along with Horizon Forbidden West. Because apparently, if it ain't broke, you're not trying. Red Green is suppose to be satire on toxic masculinity, not a how-to-be a man instruction manual. (Sadly, I cannot find the quote on Youtube.) NAW offers SPT to watch the Direct and SPT decides to do so in order to debunk this nonsense in SPT's mind. Plus, he is ordering NAW to stop dancing around the dorm room because rules are rules. SPT goes to his chair and has the same laptop NAW was using. What was the point of this? SPT has a perfectly fine Power PC on retainer. It's not like Switch owners don't have a PC anyway. SPT starts off unimpressed, but then starts to be confused when Dark Samus, an echo fighter gets called as the fourth fighter. Then he sees the new stages and old stages. Once SPT sees the new modes, he starts to panic and NAW taunts him like he told him so. NAW was sort of right with the story mode blurred, but no trophies, because they became spirits and they crossed over trophies and stickers from Brawl. I hope SPT never sees the "World Of Light" trailer, that might kill him inside judging by the amount of sweating SPT is doing. NAW is asking if he's all right in a really taunt like manner as SPT drops dead and that ends the video. All this needed was the announcer yelling "GAME!" after SPT drops to make my life complete. Say it with me: Smash is a Porn~!
"Nintendo Hater Reacts To PlayStation Classic!": This episode aired on September 20th, 2018, just after the PlayStation Classic was announced. Personally, I have zero opinion concerning the PlayStation classic and none on the Nintendo ones because I have yet to play the SNES Classic I bought due to the system requiring an HMDI monitor to play with and I have none. I'm sure that the thing is a good deal for the money, but if you are an A/V guy like me, you are out of luck. One of the reasons that I don't play my Switch in TV mode is due to a lack of an HMDI cable and monitor. It would certainly help having this to work on my gamelists without draining the battery so much, but whatever. Still love the Switch concept and it should never be understated. Anyhow, we begin with a black screen entitled Summer 2016; which was a few months before Nintendo revealed the Nintendo NX/Switch for the first time and sadly, Nin10doUltra's reaction video to that unveiling has disappeared down the memory hole because it was awesome; because it was true. Then NAW appears wearing a Zelda cap, sitting down at the computer and checking out what is happening in Nintendo Land. Sometimes the Venn Diagram of Nintendo and Sony fanboys can be almost a complete circle. NAW is hyped for the NES Classic and I can understand why: You get 30 or so games for $60. Which by the way is a better deal than any one game on Switch for $60. Not that it matters to buyers, since at least those games are in fact games and not movies disguised as games. It's a hell of a deal if you have an HDMI monitor because A/V is considered the way of the dinosaur, even for Nintendo. Great if you are a physical beast who hates subscription services and digital; even though digital games are saved on physical media like a microSD card for instance. It's only a problem when you are always on-line during gameplay, or using a cloud service application. Like I said previously, nuance is not a strong suit among gamers, particually since none of them read the End User Licensing Agreement which state that physical and digital are really the same in the eyes of the company. SAW is sitting in the front of the bed rocking like Kit Cloudkicker from Plunder and Lightning Part 3, blowing this off as an overpriced hunk of junk. I'm surprised that SAW didn't say that he could pirate and emulate those games for free; because that would be a true statement.
No, SAW hates Nintendo so much, that he thinks a $60 Sony exclusive is the way to go. Oh well, dude bros will dude bro I guess. Oh, and it comes with one controller, despite the fact that most of the games on that system are single player games and you can only use one extra controller at most anyway; so the price for the controller isn't all that bad. SAW calls retro games garbage. Again, Nintendo is not a geeks and nerds company; they are more for general audiences and people love these retro games so much that companies are literally buying out IPs at the expense of the preservationists out there while being ableists and shilling NFT's. Isn't that right, PIKO Interactive?! Okay, so basically SAW claims NAW is an idiot for hyping this and we go to black and the next flashback is June 26th,2017. That was when the SNES Classic was announced, a platform I actually bought and a system I love and adore! Nintendo Switch has far surpassed it, but it's during a time when Nintendo allowed soft-core porn games on their machine while Sony cared for bunnies and food. Isn't that right, eastasiasoft?! I still cannot believe Nintendo Switch didn't get the 20 Bunnies game as well as the 20 Ladies version. I think you can guess what happens here before I even do commentary: NAW is hyped, SAW blows it off as overpriced garbage, Star Fox 2 coming out for the first time be damned! Yeah, the SNES StarFox 2 game that got canceled finally got a release on this machine and Nintendo Switch via Nintendo Switch On-Line; which is not good, but whatever. There's a reason why we call Sony "For The Payers" because no matter how good the deal is to play 21 SNES games in one machine for only $10 more than a PlayStation 5 game on a system that has overheating issues worse than PS4, cockroaches will pick PlayStation game for $70 because they can't do math and oooo, shiny~! SAW sounds like a ingrateful father in this scene as we fade to black and go to September 19th, 2018 as we head to SAW's bedroom as SAW wakes up and I don't think he changed his clothes once in these flashbacks. He also use his ringtone catchphrase, but it didn't sound as cool as when he did it the first time. Sadly, SAW has smarten up to not drinking and reading, by not having any Sony Water present, and that made me sad.
SAW brings out his laptop. At least SAW has stopped checking the Nintendo feeds for bad Nintendo Switch news, so he's already ignoring the platform just 18 months into Nintendo Switch's run. SAW is happy because Sony just announced the PlayStation Classic. Okay, if Sony had not screwed this up badly, this would have been a hell of a deal and I can understand Sony fans hyping this up. However, there are three problems with this: (1.) Jim Ryan at the time was against this idea because no one plays old games on PlayStation, even though piracy is huge on PlayStation 1 because PS1 is really the only system Sony has that people loved for the games, PlayStation 2 was loved mostly due to the DVD player being cheap (and weak in quality, one of the reasons why I went back to Nintendo actually.). (2.) SAW is a clear hypocrite here because he thinks this is a great idea, because the narrative is that when Nintendo and/or Microsoft does it first, it's bad for gaming; when Sony does it, it's ground breaking and is pro-gaming. (3.) This is just another example of Sony copying Nintendo. If Sony copied the quality of Nintendo, they could have gotten away with it, but they don't. Often, Sony copies Nintendo's worst idea. Seriously, why have a "Sony Check" when the whole point of being a developer on Sony consoles was that I didn't have to deal with Nintendo's version of it outside of Japan?! Even worse, there was no AC Adaptor for the system, although to be fair; I don't think the Nintendo Classics had an AC Adapter bundled in either. SAW don't care because Sony Always Wins, Baby~! Seriously, that's all he cares about and NAW is just ruining his buzz; not that I mind him doing so just by his presence. Jump cut to NAW clearly pointing out SAW's hypocrisy. NAW doesn't mind if SAW buys the PlayStation Classic, he just cannot understand why what SAW is doing is any different from NAW buying his classics and being hyped for it. SAW already told you and he needs to snap his losing streak somewhere. SAW in a voice-over is basically denying that this never happened. Talk about selective amneisa there, SAW! NAW looks at the screen and is as confused as anyone to end the video. Yeah, SAW's memory is like less than three seconds now.
"Nintendo Switch Hater Reacts To Joker Being In Smash Ultimate": This episode aired on December 9th, 2018 as we begin with SAW playing Persona 5 on his love seat. SAW is loving life and bashing Nintendo for being kiddie again, because insecurites rule the roost. Spoiler Alert: Persona 5 Strikers did come to Switch and Persona 4's fighting title did come. Not to mention that Joker appeared in Persona Q for 3DS; but no one cares about that game anyway even if the 3DS wasn't horrible. SAW loves the music and almost has chest pains during this as we get a different camera angle of SAW playing. SAW then looks to his right and somehow a piece of paper is on the floor. SAW picks it up and reads it. Apparently, it's a calling card from the Phantom Thieves threatening SAW to get a Nintendo Switch because they will change his heart, and SAW is pissed off and crumples the letter. SAW throws away the letter and blows it off because he don't play kiddie games, despite the letter wanting him to buy a system he doesn't like. In comes NAW with a plastic box containing Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, a game that came out the day before this episode aired. NAW offers SAW a chance to play with him, which is a reasonable offer. However, this is SAW we are talking about and he blows that off because he doesn't play those games that make his penis insecure. SAW accuses NAW of writing the letter and I believe him, because Nintendo fanboys love mind games even doing it to their own fanboys. NAW claims that he didn't write the letter and notices that SAW is playing Persona 5, so he decides to leave; but he has one more message for SAW: "Joker's in Smash~!" Uh-Oh! That triggers SAW right away. Joker, as in the main character of Persona 5, not the villian of Batman. Still waiting for the Batman Arkham Series on Switch though, along with a main Persona 5 game. SAW denies it because it's dumb for a character from the mainline game not to be on a Nintendo platform to come to Smash. SAW has not learned his lesson from Cloud Strife for Smash Wii U and 3DS by the way. SAW decides to head to the kitchen to find something to eat because being triggered gives him the munchies, or something.
SAW goes to the fridge, blows off Joker in Smash and then we get the funniest irony of all: SAW is literally eating a box of Scooby Snacks~! Yes, Warner Brothers did in fact sell real life Scooby Snacks, Scooby and Shaggy version of liquid courage to the public for eating. That's funny in itself, but SAW is supposed to be a grown-ass man in storyline. The Real Doctre 81 was right when he said and I'm paraphrasing here: "If you watch children's cartoons, you are fine. When you play children's video games, you are a little kid." It's so dumb even Nintendo made fun of it with Splatoon's "You're a Squid now! You're a Kid now!" commercial. When Nintendo is pointing out how dumb you are, you lack self-awareness SAW! At least SAW is drinking Sony Water in a bottle, that's not childish in anyway like drinking Mountain Dew, no siree. After SAW sells the fact that he eats food from a children's cartoon while denouncing Mario, SAW brings up his laptop and decides it's time to debunk this Nintendo childish nonsense of Joker coming to Smash Brothers Ultimate as paid DLC. SAW googles the search engine and thinks that this is just a fake leaker April Fools joke gone wrong. However, SAW NEVER SAW IT COMING~! Even when he should've. SAW then panics because not only is Joker in Smash but has an actual trailer for it that is also real. SAW panics and cannot believe that Nintendo can weld such power to get this characters into their video game. Yeah, SAW still thinks every third party publishers on the planet Earth still hates Nintendo and the Yamaguchi era. Okay, they probably still hate that era. SAW checks himself and at least he didn't use a knife this time. He literally pours his bottle of Sony Water onto his head and shakes in disbelief, that was funny. SAW calls it fake, and all the yadda-yadda-yadda as SAW then asks if he has to buy a Nintendo Switch now and I realize that it's the payoff to the calling card from the Phantom Thieves. SAW whines and cries in pain over this piece of plastic to end the video. Sadly, the "Take Your Time" loading screen wasn't used here, because that would have been even funnier.