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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: The Rainbow Mine
Reviewed: 06/05/2016
Tweeg Gets Fitting Comeupparance Part Anythings!
Now; it's time to end the Rainbow Falls arc with Tweeg finally getting his comeupperance in the form of fake stones and going into the entrance to a cave leading to the source of water in Rainbow Falls. However; before that happens, Teddy has to somehow get out of the medicine wagon without being spotted by the heels. Will he get out? How does this episode fare? So let's rant on shall we...?
We begin this one with a sky shot of Grubby and Gimmick walking towards the back of the medicine wagon as the episode title is in larger letters. Even TaleSpin had better continuity with it's titles than this. At least Grubby appears to have spots; but Gimmick does not as Gimmick sits on Grubby's back to walk in the window (I don't know why; the still's not that high off the ground) as Teddy is hiding behind the basket while Tweeg is at his desk wearing blue overalls with a cross strap in the back and a blue shirt. Gimmick's mouth does not move; but him saying "I don't see Teddy anywhere" is still dubbed in. Can't this show do anything right?! Gimmick's mouth finally moves as he panics; but Tweeg is looking to his left holding a bottle of Rainbow Falls water. Even worse; Gimmick is yelling that it's Tweeg and Tweeg is so stupid that he's trying to get the bottle open and doesn't hear him. I have new found respect for R.J. Williams and TaleSpin now; because R.J. Williams actually knows how to act and lower the volume pitch during scenes like this. Gimmick then sees Teddy who the basket and himself are conveniently placed next to the door; despite in the previous episode, it was well away from the main entrance as Tweeg was the one near the door. Again; can't this show do anything right?! Then the door next to the desk shows up anyway as Grubby is hoping Teddy isn't spotted. Tweeg is having fun as he calls for LB and insults him. LB comes through the door next to the desk; as Tweeg orders him to get the empty bottles from the basket; which of course Teddy is hiding behind it. LB is flustered for having to take orders from Tweeg again as Teddy doesn't move at all. He is like a stone statue. Gimmick taps on the counter and calls over to LB that he wants to buy 20 bottles of the remedy. LB turns around calling his boss Tweep; and Tweeg tells him to tell Gimmick to go away. LB goes to the back door as does Gimmick and Grubby while Teddy comes out from the basket and goes through the counter window. Why they did that instead of LB going to the counter and Teddy going through the back door is a mystery to me. Gimmick asks for the order; LB blows him off calling it partly as Teddy comes around and motions to Gimmick. Gimmick notices this and the trio walks away stage right without further incident. Yes folks; this is how they got out of it.
So we head to the house of the Wooly Whatsit for the second time in this arc; ironically the one character who hasn't had lemonade. And he's the dumbest babyface of the show! So the trio is helping Wooly maintain the garden on the property as Teddy and company exchange notes on the situation. So everyone goes into the house as the idea is to make Tweeg sell this fake remedy (which is basically homeopathy anyway) and refund the money. I think making him stop is the easy part; getting the money back is going to be harder since no actual harm was done to anyone. Gimmick has an idea, and then he stammers and blows it off. We never hear this plan ever again. Why?! Let him blurt out the plan and then say it's a bad idea. Grubby is eating a carrot at the table while fiddling around with the red ruby jewel as seen in the Faded Fobs episode. I'll give this show this: They actually set this up; just to set up this episode. Grubby thinks it's a ruby as Gimmick takes it and looks at it with the maginfying glass. He concludes that despite the similarities in structure; it's not a ruby, therefore worthless. Teddy takes the stone and wonders where Wooly got it from. Wooly claims he got it from the top of Rainbow Falls and there's countless rocks up there. How he knows this is a mystery since only one of these was actually found. Teddy plays dice with it as he claims that this is the solution to their problems. No it's not. It's only going to cause bigger problems because we have to spend like ten minutes exploring inside a cave for no reason other than to kill time for the finish. You got that?! Fade to black and we return at Rainbow Falls with the airship already landed near the river. Teddy, Grubby and Gimmick are standing in front of the airship. There was something funny: Gimmick checks his watch and proclaims that Wooly will be here in one hour. Literally one second after he said that; Wooly climbs over the cliff and has arrived. There might not be such a thing as the Tweezles; but there is "Chargeman Ken syndrome" infecting the writers brains right now. Grubby folds his arms; so even he thought this was dumb. Wooly talks about his climbing skills as Teddy asks him to point to the location of the stone. Wooly agrees to and walks as Grubby and Teddy exchange notes on the plan as Teddy is going to exploit Tweeg's biggest flaw which is his greed. Personally; I would go after his brain, since logical gymnastics with Tweeg would be funnier.
So we head to the cave from The Faded Fobs as Gimmick manages to figure this out all on his own without Wooly even pointing this out. Oh well; it's a straight forward path anyway, so there you go. Gimmick explains that this is where the rocks and the water source comes from as Teddy tells Wooly to find the biggest rock he can find so the entrance can be blocked. Wooly walks off and...I thought they needed the rock because they needed a safety net to make sure no one got swept away. However; Teddy jumps into the river and goes in; looking all right. So why would you need a rock? Why not just have Wooly catch them? Well; we find out later that this was designed to make Wooly look even dumber than he already was. So we head inside as this is clearly not a mine; it's a Rainbow Cave or Rainbow Cavern. I'm guessing Canadian trademarks was the reason for the change to Rainbow Mine, even if that makes no sense. UGH! My eyes! My eyes are damaged do to all this sparkle....Oh wait; that's me acting like an idiotic reviewer on IMDB/TV.com. The trio wade inside as Teddy calls this beautiful and I agree; it's a really beautiful cave and the music really fits this scene perfectly. Gimmick and Teddy notice that the water is literally running from the rocks inside the cave; accounting for it's color. Teddy splashes water on Grubby calling it a world of color as we get to the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. This song I actually like; although Phil Baron sounds like he has a cold at certain points. Wait; gold? I don't recall rainbows having gold color. Yellow yes, but not gold. I wonder if that was a copyright issue or not. There's no silver either as we see some colored stones on a rocky side as Gimmick grabs a pink stone and then throws it literally causing a rainbow. So yes; Newton Gimmick is the one responsible for giving Spongebob Squarepants the ability to create rainbows on command when he calls for imagination. And Teddy has this ability too as he grabs the pink stone; throws it in the air and then puts it in his pocket. The song ends with them holding hands and that was that. So we head outside with Wooly wading in the river grabbing a boulder that is much smaller than the one he took out in The Faded Fobs. Again; someone needs to get a clean, unwarped copy of the Wooly Whatsit background music; it's always an amusing piece to hear when he's around.
Even better; Wooly trips on a conveniently placed out of nowhere rock and tumbles through the air; managed to fly backwards and get his rear end stuck in the cave entrance, all while the boulder has grown to almost his size. That's quite a feat (of a logic break) on Wooly's part there. Wooly tries to get unstuck after doing the longest sputter sounds in the history of this show; but no go. His rear end is like Winnie The Pooh's belly. So we head inside as the trio is gathering stones from the water. Grubby claims that the water is rising and it is; so nothing wonky there. Teddy wants to get out of here to be on the safe side and Gimmick's fine with that since they have enough stones. So yes; we get a shot of Rainbow Falls almost out of water and then a shot of Wooly stuck at the cave's entrance. This is all Teddy's fault for suggesting that Wooly find a rock; because we would end up having the same problem with the rock as they would with Wooly himself. This is so stupid. So the trio swims over to Wolly's rear end at the entrance as they discover it's block. Hmmm; there's a lot of hair on this rock, but it couldn't be the Wooly Whatsit now couldn't it? So Teddy takes a stone spike from the cave ceiling as the water is rising. Grubby and Gimmick push on the "purple rock" as Teddy lodges the pointy end of the spike underneath Wooly's rear end and we push and push and push and push and push. Wooly acts as if it's getting a prostate exam. Grubby then starts thinking something is a miss since the rock is very hairy. Gimmick of course applies the most absurd form of Occam's Razor to suggest that it's hairy limestone. Gimmick wants to record this discovery; then discovers that he needs to get out of there. So more pushing and shoving on Wooly; as Wooly is sputtering like mad as he hates this. So inside; Wooly's tail comes out and slaps Grubby in the face. Tail violence rules just like hair violence of course. Wooly squeezes some more and now his tail has tied up Grubby and is squeezing him. Okay; I can see why they did this pointless angle now, and now it's good. The tail dunks Grubby after he calls Wooly a water monster. Grubby is dunked a few times as Teddy dives into the water to make the save as Grubby swims away to the purple rock. Teddy takes the tail as Grubby is angry and proclaiming that this is a weird day.
Teddy then realizes that this tail belongs to Wooly; and Teddy's plan to get him unstuck is to tickle him! Yes; tickle him! Memo to MAVO: When the babyfaces do a heel move and you don't; you are a stupid organization! The trio dives in and tickles Wooly; basically on the rear end which is super creepy in hindsight as Wooly's selling is downright hilarious as his laughing and sputtering are combined into two. Wooly finally pops out and the river flows rapidly due to the fact there was too much water in the cave. So they needed the rock after all; only had Teddy told Wooly to merely wait; none of this would have happened. STUPID! So the rapid water flows down Rainbow Falls as Wooly swims and grabs onto a rock. Grubby is struggling in the river; but despite being no branch anyway; a tree appears with an out of nowhere branch and Grubby grabs onto it. Yeah; that was a logic break; as Gimmick grabs onto Grubby literally seconds later. Grubby gets his second hand on the branch and slides towards the tree and then drops as they hang onto the side of the river bank panting. Teddy of course flows down the river as Wooly has somehow gone deeper down the river as he's on the riverbank squeezing out his tail just as Teddy is yelling for help. Grubby and Gimmick run past Wooly proclaiming that Teddy needs help; because when it comes to raging rivers, Illiops are not gods. Teddy flows past the airship screaming as he goes over the falls; but lands chest first onto a branch and does a flip bump as he is grabbing the branch over the falls. After seeing so many cartoons and Mommy For A Day; I cannot believe how thin skinned Teddy Ruxpin is. Kit would have said "What a wimp?!" here as Wooly climbs down the falls; goes over to a safe ledge (which means Teddy only had to swing over and he would be fine. Again; what a wimp?!) and grabs Teddy; and sets him on his feet on the safe ledge. So yeah; we wasted nearly half of the episode just to do a wimpy waterfall spot where Teddy was in no real danger. Normally; I would say BS&P rules and I club BS&P; but this is the writers not giving us any sense of danger more than anything else. Worse; they did all this just to collect a bunch of stones that they could have collected on the river bank, which would have had the rock Teddy told Wooly to get make perfect sense. DUMB!
Oh, and Teddy climbs the ledge literally seconds later without help; thus making having the airship completely pointless. Gimmick and Grubby are relieved for roots and we fade to black. We return as the entire falls is completely dried up now as I realize that this was the reason for the rock in the first place because the plan is to dry up Rainbow Falls so Tweeg doesn't notice that something is wrong. Okay; I stand corrected. So we see Grubby and Wooly running to the airship as Gimmick is at the propeller and Teddy is at the furance. Gimmick calls this an amazing adventure; I call it stupid. Wooly's running animation was bad as he has blocked the cave as promised so Tweeg cannot get anymore water from Rainbow Falls unless he has an airship or a friend called Wooly. But the Fobs will lose their colors again you morons! How are you going to account for that? Teddy thanks Wooly for rescuing him and Wooly is blushing of course because he rarely gets compliments. Teddy asks Wooly to inform everyone and make sure they know the plan; but Tweeg and the bounders cannot know about it since it's a secret. Wooly agrees and walks away as we fade to black. We return inside Gimmick's house as this is the point where the spots have disappeared completely now. So I'm guessing that this was a number of hours later as Gimmick is working on a machine as Teddy is putting on a costume with a sidepack on Grubby's left side. So I'm deducing that Grubby is going to play Slepnir the eight legged horse; only it's six legs and two arms. So Gimmick's going to be Odin in this setup. I hope he calls himself Professor Odin, Grubby is Slepnir and Teddy can be called Aseir. Of course; knowing these writers, they won't know what they are doing and calls them dumb booking names. Grubby claims that Gimmick is working on something that works and Teddy calls it the perfect plan to fool Tweeg as they just need disguises to put the plan into action and that ends the segment nearly 12 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to Tweeg Tower as the trio is walking towards the steps. We head inside the tower as Tweeg is at the tower counting money and saying how rich he is. He also has a bottle of the remedy on the table. He now has enough to pay the dues and interest on the dues as he'll swindle more money from them. He even believes that they'll make him the Surpeme Oppressor! If that was the case; then Miss Maggotheart would already be that. Why isn't she?! Because in storyline; you can only be the Surpeme Oppressor if you have the Black Box; which in it contains the seventh crystal which powers are to restore and wipe out memories. There is a knock on the door as the gold coins look like Americanized money and Tweeg orders LB to get the door; only LB is not around for some reason. I should note that Tweeg even offers Elinore the gloom of the western wing as he answers the door himself. It reveals Gimmick dressed up like a safari guy, Teddy is wearing a Gutang armored suit and Grubby is a horse basically. So Gimmick introduces himself as Krackatis Potts. I am not making this up! He is not Professor Odin. What a stupid name that is?! I think Gimmick had plastic surgery on his nose. I don't know why because his stuttering is still clearly on display here. Oh; and Colonel Spigot has also stolen from this show because Gimmick also said: perhaps you heard of me? Tweeg says no of course and slams the door because he's a heel. Gimmick (I am not going to call him by his booking name for this plan. It's stupid!) talks about science and exploration as Tweeg and Grubby laugh on camera. I would too; that name is the dribbling snots! Tweeg then opens the door and lets them inside; because Gimmick is a great person of science. Which should have blown this trio's cover, but it doesn't. Teddy bows as he is addressed as Otto as Teddy pulls Grubby forward. Gimmick calls it an OctoClutz. Of course! You couldn't even call him a Octonir; a cross between an Octopede and Slepnir; which would have been funny. Now you're just being childish, which is fine if it's funny. It isn't in this case. Of course; Grubby completely gives himself away; Gimmick tells him to quiet down and Tweeg doesn't notice like a moron. Why should I be surprised? No one in acting cares anymore and it's a long day. So Gimmick wants to discuss money and Tweeg lets them in carte blanche.
So we head inside as the door is closed and Gimmick asks if it's safe to do this; and Tweeg calls him an idiot. But then he recoils and acts all nice. HAHA! Good denying of yourself being a heel there Tweet! Gimmick basically says that they are here to research the colored water of Rainbow Falls and if he helps them in their search, he will be rich beyond his wildest dreams. TOING sound ensues on cue along with a cash register bell in the background. Teddy and Tweeg walk in opposite directions, so Teddy can get behind Grubby. Why? I don't know. So Teddy brings out the machine of doom and puts some tubing and a funnel attached to it. So Gimmick takes out an eyedropper and a bottle of red liquid from the sidepack and takes some liquid out with the eyedropper. He pushes it into the funnel as the machine works and shakes as the drop goes through the tubing. Gimmick pushes the red button and has a look that makes him look evil for some reason. A red stone comes out of the machine as Gimmick calls it a "Wuby". More stealing by TaleSpin from this show! Tweeg takes the stone and calls it amazing as Teddy Ottoparts is giggling on screen. Gimmick shoves Tweeg away and he goes flying stage right as he takes a container of green liquid and puts the eye dropper into it. So we jump cut as Gimmick doesn't push the button and a green stone comes out anyway. Tweeg hides the two stones in his cloak as he calls this amazing. Gimmick then takes out two bags of stones to show Tweeg as Tweeg attempts to grab them; but recoils and calls this wonderful among other words. Tweeg jumps around as his elf shoes are now green; Teddy and Gimmick giggle at this together. Grubby giggles as Tweeg proclaims that he must have it. Gimmick proclaims that they are looking for more water; because they are fresh out. So Tweeg lies by claiming that rainbow water dried up in Grundo many years ago. I guess he's happy with the two stones he took from the machine. Tweeg calls this a national tragedy. Gimmick goes to Grubby and acts like he's going to cry because he spent all this time doing this research and spending money on such and he has nothing. It's so goofy that even Teddy's giggling as Gimmick apologizes for getting carried away. Tweeg offers to buy the machine calling it worthless; even though he sees it as not. Gimmick doesn't know and Tweeg tells him to name his price. Gimmick ponders it over and asks for four bags of flour, two bottles of buttermilk and ten pieces of copper. Okay; so Gimmick has figured out that Tweeg is the guy behind the medicine wagon; so shouldn't it be the same amount of stuff he gave Tweeg in The Medicine Wagon, which includes nutmeg; plus fifteen pieces of copper, which is the price of the lemonade they drank in The Lemonade Stand? It doesn't matter because Tweeg agrees to the terms and shakes Gimmick's hand saying that he drives a hard bargin. That ends the segment sixteen and a quarter minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head in the forest with Tweeg carrying two buckets as he calls this two swindles in forty-eight hours as Tweeg comes to Rainbow Falls; and there is only drops of ordinary water; but no rainbow water at all. Tweeg screams and asks where all the water went and this acting is great. Even though; there are drops of water on the ground. Not much mind you; but enough to make sapphires at least. We see three Fobs as one of them is Fuzz since Teddy addresses one of them as such. The problem with this is: Which one is Fuzz? It should be the green Fob; but Teddy appears to be addressing the purple one as Fuzz. I'm officially confused now. So Fuzz and the two other Fobs walk in with clothes on sticks attached to their tails. Tweeg checks the rocks as his elf shoes are gone now. Tweeg turns around and notices the Fobs; asking them where the water went. The Fobs basically tell up that Rainbow Falls has dried up. Here's the question: If the cavern inside has the water rise if the entrance is blocked; then what will happen if the cavern is filled with water? The water has to go somewhere; so what? The Fobs leave and while it should be a logic break with the Fobs; the whole scheme has lasted for hours; not weeks if you were paying attention to the Faded Fobs storyline. Tweeg drops to his knees and cries and whines like a cowardly heel should. Tweeg screaming "Why is it always me?" will never get old. Then the bell rings again (I guess the TOING sound took a smoke break or something.) as Tweeg proclaims that he'll buy back all the Tweezle remedy from his customers and we fade to black. So we return as Tweeg is at the Jungle Grunge's village as they and the Fobs huddle near the podium with Teddy, Grubby and Gimmick looking on from the bushes. Tweeg proclaims that he is recalling the Tweezle remedy; and offers to refund them the full price for it. That sounds reasonable to me for something that does no actual harm. Jinnie Lee asks why they should and Tweeg claims that he's taking it back because it doesn't work. Jethro disagrees as he shows his shirt and he washes his clothes in it as Tweeg is angry for them wasting the remedy on lundary; so he offers twice the amount as Jody is attending to a purple Fob.
So another surf Grunge with blond punkish hair and wearing an apron brings out a dying plant and pours the remedy on it. It grows flowers like mad and is alive as Jody is stunned. So Tweeg offers to buy it back at triple the price and everyone agrees to it. Now if this product was poisonous legit and it worked on other things, I can see why they did this. However; this water only causes spots. It's not deadly; you can refund at the same price you paid and none would be the wiser. Besides; it's not going to matter in the end as you'll see when we fade to black...and return to Tweeg's Tower as we see the bounders and LB throwing stuff in the back of Miss Maggotheart's towing truck. Maggotheart asks if this is all he has. LB claims it's the whole bowl of wax as Tweeg walks in demanding answers to this outrage. Maggotheart proclaims that they are repossessing everything and Tweeg proclaims that they cannot do that. LB agrees with Maggotheart because those stairs are murder. Yes; even a Ken Frosse product can allow you to say murder. Darn. Maggotheart calls this DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~! Must be the really fine print of those handbooks, eh?) as Tweeg jumps up and grabs the machine (the one Gimmick showed earlier) from the tow truck as Maggotheart is twindling her fingers not amused by this at all. Who voices her? I think it's either Anna MacCormack, Heather Esdon, or Donna Farron. None of them are anything special. Tweeg takes a bottle of the remedy and proclaims that he'll become Surpeme Oppressor and make Maggotheart collect garbage in Ying. Oh; those are fighting words, Jack W. Tweeg! He pours the remedy into the funnel and no water comes out of it; let along a stone. Tweeg doesn't understand why it's not working and pokes LB into the nose blaming him for it. Which Occam's Razor states is reasonable since LB was moving it into the tow truck in the first place. LB blows Tweeg off as Tweeg is yelling at him because it produces rubies and emeralds; all while Maggotheart is yawning at him like a good heel should. Maggotheart pats on the front as I discover that there's a monster inside the tow truck. Is that the dreaded drool beast I keep hearing about; but never see? She calls Tweeg a comdiean and is about to leave; but Tweeg tells her to wait and shows the ruby and a blue stone that was formally green before. Bad logic! Bad! Bad! Bad! Maggotheart takes them and proclaims that this is enough to pay the dues; so she pulls a cloth rope and all the stuff in the tow truck is dumped onto the ground; burying all the bounders except for LB. Maggotheart drives away saying that they will meet again at the next meeting. Tweeg is angry as he kicks the machine and does the foot grabbing spot and cries like the most contrived baby you will ever hear. I need a drop of this audio! Someone send me an MP3 of Tweeg crying while grabbing his foot. LB comes in and I was half expecting a witty retort; but the episode officially ends at 19:15. DARN IT! CAN'T THIS SHOW DO ANYTHING RIGHT?! Waw-haah! Disappointing; but still better than The Lemonade Stand. *** (60%).
THE REVIEW LINE
This episode was much better than the last one animation wise; but it was just there and most of it was Teddy being stuck in a cave singing about rainbow. Out of context; the song is good, but otherwise, it was boring. At least the storyline made sense; but I was disappointed that Maggotheart didn't take away the medicine wagon because that would have been the better payoff than taking his stuff from the tower. Maggotheart is still great at this point and the animation was better and the logic made sense; although I still think paying it back at the regular price would have been enough punishment, since it didn't matter at the end and it made Teddy and company look like meaner jerks than the writers have intended them to be. So that's it everyone, this ends the 2016 edition of the Father's Day specials; as we had one bad episode, four okay episode and one great one. So the next arc I will tackle in 2017 will be the Wooly Goes To School arc featuring such hits as ASL Sign Language! Tweeg doing hand puppets! Tweeg causes fire! Wooly goes to school! Teddy and company join the bugs! We meet an actual deaf mute student of Leota! The prototype character for Helen in Sonic X makes an appearance! And hopefully; Maggotheart steals the medicine wagon coming back here. You know; I stand by my thoughts on this show: I love this concept and I love the characters, but the animation and writing is not good. I hope that when Teddy Ruxpin the doll gets rebooted; this means this series gets redone and done in a way that the writing is not embarrassing to me. I want to like these episodes; but everything seems off to me. Canadian television has gotten better even though Johnny Test does his darnest to bring it back to the Dark Ages. Now that I'm done with this series for another year; I am back to doing TaleSpin transcripts with A Baloo Switcheroo, Double Or Nothing and War Of The Weirds as the three episodes for June. Then we start completing the series from there. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.