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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: Wooly & The Giant Snowzos
Reviewed: 12/17/2016
Took Them Long Enough To Show Up.
Well; we have been chugging along on these Teddy Ruxpin rants and the next two episodes I'm doing are more in line with the winter season as Teddy and company are visiting Wooly, but some white Wooly Whatsit shows up causing paranoid and Gimmick denying on the part of Gimmick. Also; Tweeg is in complete denial that he is a wacky alchemist who hilariously fails at life as he thinks he's made up life after thinking about making Teddy's crystals out of ice. Ummm; yeah. So let's rant on shall we...?
So we begin with a shot outside Wooly's house during a fierce snowstorm. We see the airship coming as Gimmick is cold and calling this the snowest, coldest even in Grundo history. Considering that there has been only one winter in the entire series, color me unimpressed. Grubby's hoping it's warmer in there then in the snow and I assure him that it is as we cut to Gimmick on propeller duty. So the airship lands as we hear growling in the background and Fuzz is squealing with fright and jumps into Grubby's arms. Everyone is wearing little winter clothing, which as I type this is a hundred percent certain that they will suffer from frostbite right now outside in the real world. Gimmick assures Fuzz that it's just the wind. I should note that this is deep into the fall/winter part of the storyline as the trio has discovered what five of the seven crystals can do, the audience half knows what the seventh crystal does, Teddy has already met Burl for the first time in ten years but doesn't know it, and Grubby has met the Octopede Sailors at this point, too. Grubby wants to get inside anyway as Teddy calls out for Wooly. Wooly opens the door to his house and greets the babyfaces. Everyone jumps out and buries themselves in deep snow. HAHA! So Grundo's snowfall is equal to Nova Scotia's 2014 winter! I should have guessed. Wooly walks in as apparently, Grundo's snow is also like quicksand because Teddy is yelling that he's sinking. Either that; or Teddy has just realized that his standing as a great character is starting to sink. In my eyes; that didn't happen until at least 1993; so Teddy's save from my wrath. For six more years anyway. Wooly grabs Teddy and Grubby; but the next shot shows Gimmick is also on his shoulders along with the ones he pulled out. Oops. Wooly thanks them for dropping in; but says it in such a way that he wasn't cracking a joke; but Grubby blows him off anyway. Memo to writers: Voice infliction is important, too; you know. Grubby sneezes soon afterwards. They head towards the house on the sky shot and that is that.
So we head inside Tweeg's tower as Tweeg has whipped out the spell book of nonsense (because the writing is a load of nonsense since if they wrote it in English; they might think kids and terrorists (well, mostly terrorists) will learn something from it and evil things will happen.) because it's time to make buttermilk out of gold again. As noted before; Tweeg's gimmick is that he's a wacky alchemist who sucks at life in hilarious fashion. And he got the book from my mommy. Aw; my heart melted. At least I have a heart, unlike Elinore. Tweeg calls for LB to get his a fresh bag of flour and Tweeg cannot find him as he goes outside complaining about LB's lack of loyalty towards him; because, you see; Tweeg is too afraid and too sleazy to go out and find a real job. He looks down and notices LB with two of his bounder friends and Buffy (the only one with a cyan blue bowtie on her horn) bouncing on the snow at the foot of the steps. Tweeg calls them to attention and blows them off for goofing off as LB tells him to get him calling him Tweeze and looking like he's trying to break the fourth wall in the process since he was clearly looking at the hard camera while doing this. Th bounders bounce for joy as Tweeg is angry about this implied munity as LB calls it munity on the bounders as we cue the Vinny laugh. So Tweeg takes the book and decides to come down right now to take charge of this insubornation and giggling while he speaks. Geez; I wonder why they do that last part? So Tweeg manages to get down the steps and this is where wearing elf shoes would have been better off than sandals. Tweeg proclaims that he will throw the book at LB and LB taunts him because there is a snowball on top of LB's tail. Tweeg says "throw it" as we see the bounders have snowballs behind them as LB calls him Twoze and two of them throw snowball's right between Tweeg's eyes. Tweeg wipes off the snow and then gets two more right between the eyes for fun as the bounders laugh at his expense. This is why Teddy at times looks like such a heel when he laughs at someone's expense in case anyone wants to know.
So Tweeg makes a snowball and wants to play hardball. Only if those balls are made of ice, Twinkle! Tweeg teases throwing the thing and then stops to notices gold sparkles in the snowball. LB calls him Tweef as Tweeg blows him off because he's inspired. Uh-oh! That is a really bad sign if I ever saw one. LB thinks that it's the snow running down his back. If only LB, if only. Tweeg thinks that the sparkle is similar to Teddy Ruxpin's crystals. LB asks why and Tweeg claims that the crystals are made of snow crystals you see. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can you guess the obvious logic flaw in that theory; or do I have to spell it out for ye? LB claims that the snow has freeze dried his brain. Yip; he probably doesn't have any brains either. Tweeg walks stage left calling this quite a turn of events. Tweeg proclaims that once he finds the spell to turn the snowball into a magic crystal; the world will call him a genius. Yeah; I'll bet. LB sits down and calls Tweeg's brain a pea because that explains why his skin is green. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there, LB. So we head inside Wooly's house as Teddy and Gimmick at sitting at a wooden table, Fuzz is near the fireplace and Wooly comes in with a tray of cups of hot Grundoberry juice which he puts down on the table. Wooly asks where Grubby is and Teddy thinks he's outside taking off his boot. Because he has three pairs of them, you see. Even though Teddy doesn't wear any for some reason. So we cut back outside as Grubby is taking off his three pairs of boots. Which makes him at least six times as booty as anyone on this show. Then as he's taking off the final boot; we hear Wooly's hilarious growl, but it sounds a million times more meaner than usual. Fuzz is inside in a panic as he hops towards the table and hides. The door opens and in comes Grubby taking off the sixth boot as Grubby loses his balance and pratfalls on his face. Grubby asks if Teddy hear that and Teddy is confused. Grubby heard a noise and Fuzz doesn't like it. Gimmick claims that this is unsound reasoning. When was the last time the wind ever made a noise that sounds like a meaner version of the Wooly Whatsit's growl?
Seriously; I want to know, Newton! Grubby calls it the scariest unsound he has ever heard. Sorry; but no cotton and wax in the ears is going to make me unhear that sound! Teddy help Grubby up as Newton claims that people will hear just about anything during the winter time and talks about his experiences as a child. Geez; Newton needs to study stuff on memories not being infallible at this point, since his memories are shot. Grubby calls this a long time ago; and Teddy's expression is telling Grubby to knock it off as Gimmick giggles. Gimmick proclaims that as a child, he was visited by...wait for it...Giant Snowzos. Fuzz and Grubby panic and Grubby hides under the table and Fuzz hops into Grubby's arms in that order. Fuzz asks what the Snowzos looked like as Gimmick proclaims that they don't look like anything and were nothing actually. In other words; there's no such things as Snowzos. I'm trying my darnest not to laugh at this; because Gimmick is the definition of either insanity or apathy or even a combination of the two. This is the same Gimmick who has already said that there is no such things as elves and woodsprites. I'm surprised to see that he believes in Illiops and Octopedes! Even Grubby is figuring this out that Gimmick is full of it; so you know Snowzos are real in storyline. Teddy tells them not to worry about it since the biggest furry guy in the room is Wooly. Oh boy; is Teddy in for a shock to be sure. So we scene change to the bounders on a hill sliding down a snow slide. We pan down to the snowy ground as Tweeg is reading his magic book of nonsense (given by his mommy of course) with a snowball trying to cast magic spells. Would it be a shock to everyone if I told you that nothing...AND THE ROCK MEANS NOTHING happens here. Tweeg is not amused as he does the "Roses Are Red" chant and nothing happens. Darn; I was hoping the snowball would turn to ice right there. That would have been amusing to see Tweeg being so happy that he got the "spell" to work. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. He throws the snowball down and walks off stage right looking at the book. So the bounders are making snowmen on the hill.
LB is throwing snowballs so half-heartly at Buffy that Buffy wouldn't get hit by them even if she didn't move. Buffy taunts him for it while slamming her rear down on the impact for good measure. The second one lands right in her mouth and she looks amazed by this. LB proclaims that he made her eat her word on that one. Buffy spits out the snowball as LB laughs and then taunts Buffy. A snowball comes out of nowhere as LB bounces back and takes a sick bump into the tree and gets concussed due to hitting the back of his head on the tree for some odd reason. LB slides down the tree and gets buried. So the two bounders (which is an idiom for "dishonest" by the way) not named LB and Buffy roll LB like a snowball because he's will be the snowman's head. So they roll LB on top and LB's legs come out making the male bounders panic and bail with the most wooden acting possible. Like anyone is going to buy LB as a scary snow monster. Cut to Tweeg in the foreground in front of Tweeg Tower still reading his magical book of nonsense as we pan over to the snowman on top of the hill with LB's horn sticking out of it. If you cannot guess the next sequence right now; you have no business making cartoons whatsoever. LB rolls off the snowman, rolls down the hill, engulfs Tweeg, rolls off a snow ramp, flies backwards and buries the two male bounders with snow. Tweeg and the two bounder pop from the carnage and Tweeg blows them off for claiming that there is a snow bounder in the area, as we hear LB moaning and see him in a recycled shot of him on the snowman. Wow; it took six and a half minutes before they broke logic in this episode. Tweeg and the bounders all bail stage right as LB shakes off the snow loving this as we cue the Vinny laugh. It's nice to know that someone is enjoying themselves here. Head to Wooly's house outside and then a sky shot at the table with the babyfaces thanking Wooly for dinner. Gimmick's mouth is the only thing moving funny here as we get a knock on the door.
Wooly gets up and answers the door to reveal an orange fob and a light blue fob asking to come in because it's freezing cold. They hop in really because they apparently saw the giant Snowzo. This also is really hilarious in hindsight considering who Wooly really is as a spieces. Massive logic break: Two fobs enter; but on the next shot, there is a third yellow fob right in front hopping on the table. Explain THAT one, kids?! Gimmick laughs it off because he doesn't think Snowzos are real, you see as we get another knock on the door. They panic as Wooly opens the door and we see two wacky looking rabbits that are at least twice the size of the Fobs, and one of them is beige/blue with spots on the earsm, glasses and a walking stick. The other one has purple and violet colors with spots on the ears, and looks much younger. One of them is named Webs (I'm guessing it's the old rabbit; even though the old man is talking right now and it sounds like one of the fobs is talking. That is bush league there, guys) as they cannot ride which Wogglies do all the time. So yeah; this is the Wogglies debut on this show. Gimmick calls this all nonsense of course because there's no such things as Snowzos and it is just Snowzo. Gimmick does the time honored tradition of hedging his bets that Wooly would protect them. So yeah; even Gimmick is slowly starting to realize that he is being dishonest about his "gimmick" or "deduction" so to speak. Speaking of Wooly; we see him hiding underneath the table and Grubby joins him in kind. Lobster courage finally has a legit friend as the fobs and Wogglies all join in. Even Teddy decides to hide as well. HA! Gimmick does the Gruffi pose in response accusing them of acting foolishly. Speak for your yourself there, Newton. I betcha Gimmick would say that there's no such thing as a Perloon, too. Then the door flings open and in comes Leota; although the snowy wind almost completely obscures her. She closes the door as she proclaims that her students are upset due to the giant Snowzos. Leota struggles as Gimmick walks over and helps her shut the door as Gimmick states that she'll be safe in here, although I'm guessing Gimmick was talking about the snowstorm.
So we have problems underneath the table as the third knee to the left is getting in Teddy's left eye. I just love how everyone is hiding from the Snowzos; not even realizing the "Snowzo" in the room is also hiding underneath the table. This is literally the elephant in the room type of analogy. Gimmick finally outright states that there is no such thing as a Snowzo. I was hoping Leota would point out the numerous times Gimmick has been wrong about there being no such thing as something. See; you shouldn't believe everything that you hear. Okay, Gimmick; so why should we believe anything you say? This leads to the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM of course. It's basically a basic science song; but it's impossible for me to buy this from Newton Gimmick. Also; this show is not episodic; it's a serial show. The Wogglies during this song explain that they saw something near a tree and it was a snowman with a beard. Gimmick keeps blowing this off as the door flings wide open again and Gimmick shuts the door. Would you believe that I believe in the door more than I believe in Gimmick's song. Granted; the song is correct, but remember who is singing it. This is the problemn with serial shows using episodic thinking and thinking that children cannot use their brains. Most do use them; many of them don't use them well, but that doesn't mean none of them don't use them. So Gimmick sits down at the table after singing this pointless song and wants to drink some more hot Grundoberry juice and Teddy decides to join in as Wooly calls for ten cups of it as everyone giggles on cue as we cut to outside as nightfall looms. That ends the segment eleven minutes in. This was all right so far; although the last half was hilarious silly due to animation breaks and Newton lying to all of us yet again; while singing a song which to be quite honest is a really good lesson to learn.
After the commercial break; we pan away stage left from Tweeg Tower as Tweeg is walking with his magical book of nonsense blowing off abominable snowmen all while the Wooly Whatsit theme is playing in the background. Tweeg is blowing off a literal snowman now as we see a white Wooly Whatsit in the foreground looking on as Tweeg turns around for spell number four hundred eighty two and this one is so silly and wooden that it might just work. Or not. The white Wooly Whatsit practices the fine art of not being seen and then admires the snowman as Tweeg cuts a promo which is full of nonsense. Sort of like Gimmick's "There's no such thing as x" promo; only Tweeg is somehow more coherent. Ponder that for a moment. WWW pokes a mouth into the snowman and plops the head of the snowman onto the ground, causing Tweeg to turn around and he panics as does the white Wooly Whatsit as he turns around, does the WW slobber noise and then runs off stage left. Tweeg instantly cheers because his spell worked, by goodness it worked. I need some kleenex, now. He throws the snowball in the air along with the book, panics because the book is missing and gets splatted by both snowball and the book on his head, dropping him on his rear end. You got all that?! Tweeg takes the book and the pages are in between number two hundred forty something; and he then realizes that he cannot count right and turns into a big crybaby. HAHA! Head back into the house of Wooly's as we get a shot of the box containing firewood. Teddy takes out the last two logs and puts them into the fireplace as everyone is huddled near it. Grubby then decides to play "truth or dare" on Gimmick by having him go out and fetch for more firewood. The orange fob agrees to it; because you see, Gimmick cannot be afraid of the giant Snowzo because Gimmick believes that there are no such things as Snowzos. Great idea, actually! Gimmick is clearly looking worried about this; but he recoils and decides to go out even though his stammering clearly indicates that he has been lying about the disbelief in Snowzos.
Teddy goes over and claims that Gimmick is going to tell them a story. Oh come on, Teddy! Let Gimmick make a fool out of himself for claiming a disbelief in Snowzos when he doesn't even know if they are in fact, false. Teddy decides to go outside and get the firewood as Wooly puts the two fobs on the floor and decides to help him. Why? Because that is what friends are for, right? The fobs hop away as we cut to outside with Teddy and Wooly walking out of the house and walking as Wooly asks if Teddy has found the woodpile yet. Teddy of course, doesn't see the obvious X spot in the wood and trips on that (at least this made sense compared to Teddy tripping over a monster kid at MAVO headquarters) and bumps into the firewood pile as the crack animation team finally messes up Teddy's feet again. Why doesn't that surprise me? And jeepers; Teddy took some nasty bumps during this, too. Memo to Teddy: It's not steel, it's okay. Somehow about three pieces of firewood fly around and bonk off the white Wooly Whatsit's head, whom happens to be taking a nap somewhere. Wait; what? So the WWW is not amused and goes over and sees Teddy at the wood pile grabbing pieces of firewood. So this WWW goes over and Teddy throws to him a piece of firewood and the WWW grabs it. In comes Wooly as the wind is whipping so hard, he is squinting his eyes so he cannot clearly see. Wooly is demanding that Teddy give him the logs as Teddy thinks Wooly wants more; as Wooly tells him he hasn't got any logs. In fact; Wooly is nowhere near the logpile as Teddy finally turns around to see the WWW. Now; at this point, I was hoping that Teddy would assume that it was Wooly covered up in snow and Teddy tries to wipe the snow off of the WWW, just to drive the point home that there are such things as Snowzos. Because that would be believable as a trait and it would be funny. And although he didn't wipe the snow off, he actually thinks the WWW is the Wooly Whatsit and walks with him towards the house. Okay; that was funny. To be fair; it is white out conditions in Grundo; so this makes a lot more sense than I thought it would, so kudos to the writers for that.
Still; it would have been funnier if Gimmick was doing this because the whole point of the story is that Gimmick claims that there are no such things as Snowzos. So; as funny as this could be, it seems to be less funny that it could ultimately be. Wooly is of course unintentionally left hanging as he calls for Teddy and logs of firewood as the storm is getting worse. So Teddy and the WWW open the door and come inside with the firewood. Grubby proclaims that Wooly is covered in snow as Gimmick comes in pointing out the same thing. Oh Gimmick; THERE'S your so called "no such thing as a" Snowzo! Can you now retire this angle, please?! Grubby even remembers to try to wipe the fur of WWW calling it the darn stickest snow ever seen. We get the TOING sound fourteen minutes in because in comes Wooly from the snowstorm and he's covered in snow. Uh-oh! Like I said to Gimmick earlier; it's time to retire that old "There's no such thing as X" routine. It's creating false negatives in the testing. Teddy is confused as Grubby wipes the chest some more and it does the slobber noise. Everyone bails as the giant Snowzo just holds up his arms and does absolutely nothing else. Gimmick is behind the chair and blows everyone off because Snowzo are a myth. The answer to that is: Okay Gimmick; then who in the world is that thing in white?! Are you telling me that it's a KKK member or something?! Wooly's head is more believable in that regard than that WWW thing standing around doing nothing. Why is Grubby wearing boots now? Gimmick brings out a maginfying lens and examines him as the WWW guy admits that he's a Snowzo. Right there in black & white. Actually; it's more like purple and white, but close enough. Oh; and Grubby has lost his boots now as the Snowzo invokes the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM. Oh lord; that is worse than anything done in a Z-grade movie! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So the Snowzo bounces onto his butt onto the floor and sings that he'll explain himself and his ilk. He claims that he's from far away from the land of Ying, so I'm guessing that the land is called Yang. Just a guess; it's more believable than Gimmick's science.
So we have footage of the Snowzo sitting around in the cold as it snows; singing. He slides down the hills as he proclaims that they don't come this far south very often, if at all. Okay; how does Teddy and Grubby know this song? The Snowzo crashes into a snowbank as we return to reality (no, not really) and sing really, really fast. The Snowzo finishes his song and deduces that they are not hostile. Well; of course that aren't. It's the critics of this show and brand that are hostile. Teddy notices that the Snowzo sounds exactly like Wooly. Which makes sense since it shares the same voice as Wooly. Apparently; the Snowzo's home is at a mountain as the Snowzo admits that there is a legend that a young Snowzo left the mountain and never actually returned. The Snowzo deduces that Wooly is probably the young Snowzo as Gimmick claims that the Rainbow Falls water would account for the purple coloring as the fobs bounce for joy on that response. So Wooly accepts the whole thing as they might be cousins; which I can believe. They embrace each other as we head back to somewhere in Gimmick Valley as Tweeg and bounders have made dozens of snowmen, patting them down with their feet because Bounders have no arms. In comes Tweeg with LB as Tweeg is having dellusions of grandeur again; which is nearly every episode that he is in. He claims that he'll be the greatest villain in Grundo. Uh-oh! Tweeg trying to take the title away from Miss Maggotheart again. Considering how Maggotheart is intentionally making Tweeg's life miserable on a regular basis, this feud makes sense actually. Too bad; Tweeg fails at life in hilarious fashion, I don't think Maggotheart has anything to worry about. He yells at LB as LB calls Tweeg, Tweeze and rolls a snowball with his feet and it lands on the snowman. At least LB has an excuse to do it this way; unlike a certain Louie L'Amour from TaleSpin. So Tweeg is reading from the magic book of nonsense and does the chant. He even says "Alchemy II" which is an actual company name for the Teddy Ruxpin series. So; yeah, very rich. Of course; nothing happened as LB proclaims that he's bad at spelling...cue Vinny laugh.
Tweeg tries another spell as he says "Ala commode". Makes sense since Tweeg's career as a alchemist is ala down the toilet. Memo to LB: You can have that one for free. The bounders laugh and bounce as Tweeg blows them off. Head back inside Wooly's house as Teddy asks if there are more Snowzo's and the Snowzo admits that there are cheerfully. We then go to the door and open it. The Snowzoo calls out for this family and they show up, so the Snowzo is a teenager basically judging by the normal family unit. Wooly offers to let them inside as the father Snowzo (the one with glasses and a walking stick; ala Webs from earlier); declines the offers because he loves the cold. That makes one of us, sir. So everyone comes outside as we meet and greet the Snowzo family while Wooly and the teenage Snowzo swing from a tree branch. The girl Snowzo and Gimmick shake hands as she is accusing Gimmick of snowing her, basically her way of saying "kidding" because everyone knows that Perloons do not exist. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She punked him out! That was great! Gimmick invokes the TOING sound as Wooly swings as the Snowzo notices the first purple Snowzo in captivity. So the Snowzo offer Wooly to come home; but Wooly declines because he likes a warm place as the mother Snowzo is curious about this area. The father Snowzo offers Wooly to come with them on a visit basis. Wooly accepts on the condition that they wait until it's a little warmer. Okay; fair enough as the Snowzos all laugh and it's so contrived that it is hilarious. Apparently; the snow is starting to subside; so the Snowzos all decide to return home and they thank everyone for being so nice. The Snowzos all leave stage left as Gimmick thanks them for being so...real. Sounds like Gimmick has accepted responsbility for being such a fool. Wooly promises to visit them soon; which we will never be able to see. So everyone leaves even at the valley as we cut back with Tweeg is still looking at his book of nonsense as the family Snowzo do the worst practicing of the art not to be seen and Tweeg still manages to fall for it even though the family is right behind him.
Tweeg chants and then realizes that the Bounders have torn out the last page. Are you sure, Twink?! It could have been Elinore's doing, either just to rib you, or worse, the spell is a legit spell that is unspeakable. Tweeg wonders what rhymes with murk. He re-reads the spell and the Snowzos all yell at the end..."JERK!" HAHA! That was a good one as Tweeg gets the TOING sound, jumps up and splats into a snowbank. The family of Snowzos bail stage left on cue as Tweeg pops up and declares victory for this as he then chases after them, proclaiming that he's their daddy. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so easily amused as this episode ends at 19:11. This was a fun episode which paid off the entire Wooly Whatsit angle; and was a solid effort for the most part. The ending scenes were the funniest and hopefully Gimmick will finally put his silly "There's no such thing" nonsense to bed. As long as Tweeg doesn't do the same with the magic book of nonsense, that is still hilarious. *** 3/4 (75%). One final note: I was going to give this ****; however, after the first commercial break; we never saw the Fobs nor the Wogglies nor Leota again. Stupid decision there, guys! We never saw Fuzz again; and he lives with Gimmick for goodness sakes! DUMB!
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this was an impressive late episode of the series; but there was really nothing illogical about it and nothing offensive about it. It was a really fun episode dealing with the payoff to the Wooly Whatsit angle that has been bubbling since Wooly's debut back in the third episode of this series. It was pretty slow going for the first ten minutes or so; but it picked up nicely and was pretty funny, even more so with Gimmick's continuing silliness of denying that his predictions of spieces existing continues to be all so wrong that I laughed so hard when one of the Snowzo's proclaimed that there was no such thing as a Perloon at the end. Tweeg was funny as always, most so at the end and that's all I can ask for. This was a fun episode from both sides of the teams and I wish every episode was like this, but it often is not. Also; the animation was much better than usual, which helps a lot. So; the next episode will be Winter Adventure; which is more in line with a Christmas episode than this one. I hope you like it; since it's the first non-DTVA Christmas episode I have ever reviewed actually. So...
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.