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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: The Wooly What's-It

Reviewed: 06/02/2016

More Like The Wooly Why's-It!


Welcome to the Father's Day Specials 2017 edition as we go through the most boring and tedious filler arc in the series. It was basically a lot of education spots and not much else. This was designed to get Wooly over and no one cared about it until the last two episodes of the arc when things heated up literally. So, the first episode up for bids is that Wooly goes to school and gets confused. That is the entire plot of this episode folks! So, how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?


We begin this one at Rainbow Falls with cheery music and a plain white title as we discover that Rainbow Falls is literally steps away from the Wooly Whatsit's house on the pan shot. Wooly is picking greens from his garden and suddenly, the Airship arrives in the background. Cut to the Airship as Teddy is looking out from the front, Grubby from the side and Gimmick from the rear. They notice the Wooly Whatsit picking greens from the garden and Grubby's "which is which" promo is so lame and makes no sense whatsoever. Teddy calls out to Wooly as we discover that Wooly is waving back while carrying a bag of carrots. Wooly wants them to come down and shoot the breeze with him and Gimmick more or less agrees to it as he wants a damper on the stove. Grubby and Teddy salute Gimmick as Grubby like all this talk as the Airship turns around and lands. It almost appears to be so stiff that the balloon teases springing back; but doesn't. So Wooly has a bag of carrots and tomatoes as Teddy tosses a rope to Wooly and Wooly ties it to a tree. Wooly asks where they were going and they were going back to Gimmick's house. I think he meant "Where did you go before this?"Anyhow; Gimmick comes out and notices the veggies as Grubby asks if he was picking that stuff for dinner and this offends Teddy. Wooly don't care; so Teddy is a meanie. Wooly asks if they would like to have dinner; everyone agrees to it and we fade to black. We then head outside as it's very windy and is HAPPY HOUR, which begs the question: Isn't every hour, HAPPY HOUR in Teddy's idealogical universe? The full moon is out as the wind is whipping leaves while inside the babyfaces are having dinner and shooting the breeze in a G-rated way. Grubby is of course, overdoing the food stuff as we have a logic break: When we go into the house, there is nothing on the table but spoons. Teddy giggles at Grubby's overdoing the promos as Wooly gives out a hearty laugh. The window shutters fly open and Gimmick starts his panicky promo about two seconds BEFORE the shutters opened; so the timing was way off there. There is a storm brewin and it's a massive case of windbag syndrome. Okay; maybe not. Logic break #2: A bowl and saucer appear out of nowhere when Gimmick is talking. Gimmick wants to secure the Airship, he shuts the shutters and that sounds like a bad idea to me, but that's what needs to be done because we has a lot of time to kill before the plot starts for real.

Wooly flings open the door and struggles through the wind outside as I discover that the back of his door has a steel locking pipe on it. Teddy and Gimmick walk out; but Grubby is still eating salad with a wooden fork inside the place. Teddy is not amused by Grubby's lobster courage and gets eye contact violence to make Grubby reconsider. Considering the horror stories about the Teddy Ruxpin doll; Grubby shouldn't mess with Teddy and agree to this. So yeah; Grubby walks out as the tree they tied the rope from is totally gone now as Wooly slowly rushes in and grabs the rope as Gimmick is shouting and Grubby is shouting back. Wooly grabs onto the middle of the rope while Grubby ties the rope back to the tree. Teddy and Gimmick grab onto the opposite rope and hold on for dear life. Teddy and Gimmick are slipping, so Wooly lets go of the rope (which we don't see) and holds onto the opposite rope as Gimmick hammers a spike and ties the rope to that. We suddenly hear Leota's voice crying for help and it sounds so fake that it sounds like someone trying to act like someone is under distress; but it's like she never has had any traumatic experience whatsoever. Teddy's leg error is minor compared to that. We pan west to the trees as we see Leota holding onto a branch and then is forced into the wind as the babyfaces all run in and Leota is pined to a giant mushroom screaming for help...badly. Teddy comes over and grabs Leota from the mushroom as Leota tells us that her school is blowing away. Grubby is confused by this, so Leota tries to fly stage left through the wind to show them as they run through the windy woods and we fade to black again. Wow; the fade is getting it's money's worth today as we return with more tree blowing as we discover that it's a poorly drawn version of the school we saw during the Tweezles angle and it appears to be tipping over. Leota claims that this will destroy the tree; but Wooly ain't going to let that happen, no siree. Logic break: Now the tree is completely exposing it's roots when Wooly grabs the tree and starts to push it. As this is happening, Grubby has teleported to some logs and wants to prop the tree up with them, which Leota approves of. Gimmick is amazed by Wooly's strength as Wooly has manages to push the tree back straight again. Teddy and Gimmick run in to join Grubby as Gimmick puts Leota into his apron pocket. Teddy and Grubby grab a log and run in with the log as Wooly stands his ground.

Suddenly; a large tree branch breaks as everyone yells to Teddy to watch out. Teddy cringes as the broken tree branch falls; but Wooly grabs it while propping his back against the tree. Wooly calls this like it was routine for him of course as we scene change to Leota giving out directions on the tree branch as they are propping up the tree with one tree log. Yes; one log was used to prop up a tree in the wind and it's all they can do. I do not have any confidence in Teddy's opinion on the subject of propping up trees, so I would use another one. They are more concerned about her tree though as Wooly offers her a lift and Leota lands in Wooly's hands in agreement. Scene change and the winds have completely died right on cue when we see a shot of Gimmick. Gimmick claims that they have protected the tree from lateral slippage. I should note that Gimmick is using a science term in a completely wrong context here. We then discover that it's the exact same tree as before; only the log is propped in the opposite direction. You couldn't just prop the same tree with two logs?! Leota is so happy and thanks them for saving her trees as Teddy wants to return back in the morning to clean up the place. Wooly's just happy to meet her though as he offers the babyfaces the night at his house. Teddy waves to Leota, Leota waves back and the babyfaces all leave in various directions as Grubby wants to finish his salad and we fade to black. We return in the morning near the school tree as everyone is cleaning up the area as Grubby panics because the branches have been reduced by the Mini-Sizer...allegedly. Of course; Leota points out that they are perfect for her students because you see, her students are wood sprites and elves. Guess what Gimmick says after this very line? Yip; he proclaims that there are no such things as elves. Yes; this is a series long storyline of Gimmick claiming that there are no such things, which in this world would be true; but in storyline it's totally false. This all got a payoff of a Snowzo saying that there are no such things as Perloons. I would believe that there is no such thing as peace and justice before I ever believed that there is no such thing as anyone on this show. Leota calls him out on it and Gimmick stammers like an idiot. Because he's really not that good of a scientist, you see. Wooly is picking up branches as he asks Leota about her job and then after Leota admits that she is the teacher of the school; Wooly admits that he wants to sound smarter.

We then discover that Leota actually didn't like the Wooly Whatsit as there was something called a Whatsit Alert as the little ones hide whenever Wooly was around. However; Leota has seen the kindness of Wooly and will change their tunes now. That is actually a really noble move on Leota's part. Wooly is so happy to hear that as Leota decides to offer a reward for Wooly and Wooly looks embarassed as he modestly, in his own way that he wants to come to classes and learn stuff through the power of observation. Wooly is doing this so he doesn't look dumb and Leota accepts him into the fold as a regular class member if he likes and Wooly is so giddy over this as the babyfaces all agree that this is great and we fade to black again. So we head on the Airship with Teddy, Grubby and Gimmick waving goodbye to Leota and Wooly as the airship flies away. So we head to the school tree branch which has stumps on the branch and wooden desks. There are students presents, mostly elves, including one in a wheelchair as they notice Wooly and call him huge; but none of them bail when he is shown, so there you go. Everyone waves to Wooly when Leota greets them, the green tunic elf forgot to bring his shoes today and elves have the same feet as Grunges, apparently. So we hit the books as Leota asks what history is and everyone in the class is already going through them and understands what history is as Wooly has sat down in front of the tree branch and is completely confused. Wooly asks Leota that if ants have sisters, do they have brothers and everyone laughs. This shot reveals a gaping logic break: The students look completely different and are being cloned with similar clothes and hairstyles, for the most part. I told you the shot continuity of this show was awful! We zoom into the wheelchair guy who starts speaking as he was in the far shot looking different and then in the closeup; he looks as he should be. It's so jarring that it's not funny. Johnny Test never had this problem; inspite of it's other fatal flaws. Leota points out that it's ancestors, not ant sisters of course and Wooly feels like he just screwed up so much he's going to be expelled soon. Jump cut to Leota on the blackboard doing geometery stuff. Wooly turns it into a complete joke that was funnier than the logic break as once again, the students look completely different from the previous two shots at them.

Everyone laughs at him, again. What bullies?! This is Wooly's first day at school; for goodness sakes! At least wait a few months before you laugh him off for saying something stupid. Wooly is completely clueless as Leota's thinking that this might have been a bad idea. Jump cut to Leota writing addition problems on the chalkboard despite the fact that they are doing geometery and even Leota in the audio is cutting geometery promos. If you ever want a lesson in why Americans automatically assume Canadian shows are garbage, this is the spot you want to check out as one example. Granted; when Sheepskin Deep aired and they were doing grade one problems with Baloo, it was mocking him; but at least they stuck to grade one stuff throughout and it was suppose to be a joke on Baloo's education, which in storyline is true. Here, Leota is doing addition during a geometery lesson and nothing matches with what Leota is writing on the board. It makes no sense at all. So I'm as confused as Wooly is as we continue to see the elves and wood sprites completely confuse and horrify Wooly for a while. I decided to skim through the promos they cut because I understand them and none of them are really funny. I should note that Leota is cut off mid sentence talking about the Hard To Find City as Wooly's got the eyes of bewilderment and the entire screen is spinning around, sort of like my life at this point. The scene goes out of focus (not like it matters, since there was nothing to show other than Wooly having a headache) and then we jump cut to a shot of the tower bell ringing. Leota praises them for good work and dismisses the class; as she wants to talk to Wooly for a moment; in which the barefoot student (which has Tweeg's feet now for no reason) taunts Wooly on the way out. Of course; Leota has nothing bad to say, and only asks how Wooly is after his first day of school. Wooly stammers and probably doesn't even know where he is right now. He has been blinded and dumbified by school! No wonder kids hate it so much. Leota asks if it was difficult and Wooly admits that he had no idea what anyone was talking about at all. Leota tells him not to get discouraged; but Wooly sheds a tear because he's crushed and Leota asks if he's coming back to class tomorrow. Wooly says "yes" and walks away as I suspect that he will not. This ends the segment eleven minutes in. This was really dull and boring so far; and the animation is messed up badly in this one.

After the commercial break; we head to Tweeg Tower and inside as Tweeg and LB are pacing around as he brings out the MAVO Evil Deeds Checklist of Doom as the next one is to steal something. LB of course bonks into Tweeg and Tweeg does a backflip and bounces off-screen stage left. That is the first funny spot of the episode. Tweeg is seeing stars, and none of them turn to gold as he blows off LB for being an idiot. LB "apologizes" to Twig and claims that he didn't know Tweeg could walk and think at the same time. I didn't know Tweeg could even think for that matter. Tweeg claims that he needs to steal something big, something that is fitting for him. How about slime? Which suggestion I stole from LB as we cue Vinny laugh and then we get a knock on the door. Tweeg is angry because someone is interupting him and at the door is Miss Maggotheart. Oh goody! The best troll of the entire show is back! Tweeg looks through the T shaped keyhole and Maggotheart is already cackling at him. Tweeg is horrified by this and LB thinks that it's Elinore. Somehow; Maggotheart is only almost as bad as Elinore. That has to be a slap in the face to Maggotheart! Tweeg panics and grabs LB, telling him to get rid of her as he is out. LB claims that this is fibbing. So; why would that be a problem? Isn't having your second lie to a dues collector worth some MAVO points on the checklist? And wouldn't you know, Tweeg mentions this when he drops LB on his rear so to speak. So yeah; Tweeg is still behind on the MAVO membership angle, what a surprise? So Tweeg heads out the back window; which if he drops, he tumbles down the stairs. LB hops to the door and watches Tweeg tie a rope to the desk. Yes folks; Tweeg has actual class to not do the bedsheet spot, since it was begging to be used here. Tweeg throws the rope through the window as LB answers the door and Maggotheart wants to see Tweeg. LB tells her that he told him that he's out and Maggotheat decides to slam the door into LB's body and come in on her own. Heh. You sense that she isn't buying what Tweeg is selling already?! LB slides down the wall and goes over to Maggotheart as Tweeg is looking on and blowing off LB, threatening violence of some sort. So Maggotheart slams the monthly bill on LB's horn as LB proclaims that Tweeg will be back any minute now, sadly. Maggotheart squeals because the fine for tardiness is 300 pieces of copper! Geez; that's a tiny fine compared to last time.

Usually it's pieces of gold they fine Tweeg with. LB claims that he should be hearing from him soon as we see the rope snapping slowly as Tweeg panics and the rope breaks; the Tweegy will fall and then he'll be fined heavily, body and all! Nice man-sized bump crash off-screen there, Tweet! This bump was with CHEESE AND BACON as well; creating a hole behind Maggotheart's wagon as Tweeg is scheming to steal something before Maggotheart discovers that he didn't do anything except not brush his teeth after dinner; which is not a heel move anymore. Tweeg notices a spiked wheel cap sparkling in view. Tweeg calls himself an evil genius just as Maggotheart and LB walk out of Tweeg Tower and head downstairs. So we have a sequence of Tweeg practicing the fine art of not being seen and unscrewing the wheel caps of Maggotheart's wagon as LB and Maggotheat walk down the steps. I assume Tweeg did this to all four wheels even if it was hard to tell; and tosses the wheels into his sleeves; which cannot be a good place for them. More coming down the steps and the animation makes it look like they were going to walk on air for a few frames, as I discover, that Tweeg has only take two spike caps; but still practices the fine art of not being seen despite being in the front of steps where Maggotheart and LB would find him. Tweeg is the worst ninja ever! Not to mention that he is holding the spike caps after putting them in his sleeves previously. The logic of this episode is awful today! Of course; Maggotheart clearly sees them and acts like nothing has happened as Tweeg is basically lying through his teeth and offers to reveal his latest caper, but Maggotheart no sells because she has to return to the wagon and Tweeg suddenly realizes that he screwed her and hides the spike caps behind his back. Tweeg back pedals, interuptting Maggotheart on the monthly bill and Maggotheart fines him fifty pieces of copper. Cue Vinny laugh; which is cut off by the bill stuck on LB's horn. HAHA! Maggotheart is ticked off now (which is her best trait, by the way) as Tweeg backpedals some more claiming that he left the MAVO checklist downstairs. Apparently; #47 of the MAVO Checklist is backing out of a business deal as he slips on a piece of stone step and goes flying downstairs; bouncing as the wheel caps bounce in plain view and we fade to black at the fifteen minute mark. (I'm guessing this is the non-North American commercial break.)

We head back to Gimmick Valley with Wooly's always amusing music. Wooly walks over to Gimmick's house and knocks on the door. I'm shocked it didn't break as Grubby answers the door. Grubby asks how it is going and is claiming that it's okay; but his non-verbal cues say, he's wrecked. Jump cut to Teddy reading a book on the couch and asks Wooly about this being a school day. Wooly says that he supposes that it is as Grubby asks why he is skipping classes. Wooly admits that he doesn't go there anymore as we jump cut to Gimmick at the second floor asking why he doesn't go there anymore and Wooly has no idea why. Wooly holds his tail and admits that the students exposed him as being much dumber than he ever thought he was. Also; Wooly cannot stand big words like history and geometery. Wait; do these three babyfaces have psyhic powers or something? Gimmick comes downstairs as Teddy takes the globe from the table as he figures out what is wrong. Gimmick opens the CHEST OF DEMONS and brings out a history book and a brown graduation cap. This leads to the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as it's Gimmick flipping books while Teddy spins a globe. Let's call it a history song that no one cares about. Apparently; Gimmick keeps a picture of Grubby as a baby on the fireplace. Who on earth keeps that? Grubby is naked; so I assume Teddy kept it all those years in his backpack. That sounds awfully creepy. So they literally play the nicest "good cop, bad cop" routine ever and Wooly eyes are targetted and confusing him. And he's sweating like he's in a dork convention. Lots of book looking and Gimmick uses a ladder and props it against Wooly. Gimmick puts the cap on Wooly as the song ends as they wave to the hard camera. That song was lame; the master music was terrible, and I don't think it made Wooly any less of a dumb guy as it did before. So we fade to black and head back to Leota's school with Leota, the students and Wooly sitting down as the airship arrives, cutting Leota off before she can start the class. That was rude. Leota don't care as the airship lands and we meet and greet again. Teddy waves and apologizes as the background continuity is shot here when Grubby asks if she will give a test to them. Teddy giggles on cue as she's not, sadly. Grubby wants to stay as Leota starts talking about today's lessons like looking back at yesterday. I just love how this phrase is somehow smaller and less scary than history.

Listen; history is a smaller word than yesterday, okay?! Wooly's problem isn't big words; it's understanding the meaning of words, which can scare people who don't understand them. Wooly raises his hand and tells Leota that he's perfectly fine with saying history and all those other words, because he now understands them in an overall context. Now; weither he can perform history or geometry, among others; is a whole other matter altogether. Wooly winks as Teddy as he comes and waves at Wooly for no reason. Wooly claims that Leota is going to discuss Wooly's family tree and Grubby proclaims that his family once lived in a tree. Geez; who is the dumber person in this room now? Wooly gleefully corrects him on that as Wooly explains that this is his personal history and it's about his ancestors. I don't think they ever got to that in this episode and we never knew until it was wintertime in Grundo in a throwaway episode no one cared before this angle was ever paid off. It's a case of "tease the angle and then not deliver it for fifty episodes". As you'll see with the Nogburt dought angle; they did this more than once. It took nearly twenty episodes after discovering what the first crystal does BEFORE what the second crystal did. Yeah; this show wasn't keen on paying off angles quickly. Of course; Grubby thinks ants have sisters and the kids all laugh at his expense. So Leota decides to let Wooly read the first lesson and Wooly is not thrilled about it as the boy elf in the wheelchair offers to help him. I know his name; but I'll reveal him later in this arc, since that episode is an extremely important one as well. Wooly grabs the mini wheelchair and the boy elf opens the book up. Wooly cannot read a lick and Leota cuts him off nicely; but Seymour raises his hand. So much for waiting until the infamous "Sign Language" episode; since Leota does address him by name in this episode. Seymour explains that the books are so small and Wooly's big; and that he can read a lick. Leota shrugs her shoulders on that and admits that this is a problem that she cannot solve. If you cannot guess how this problem is solved, you have no business reading this rant. Jump cut to sky shot of the trio having a whisper conference before Teddy motions to Leota to come over to the airship. Leota sells and comes over and they have a whisper conference. Leota calls this a great idea and no one needs to know what they said, because it's obvious what the plan is.

Leota flies over to the class and informs them that Gimmick is going to demonstrate the portable reducing and enlarging machine. Man; the animation is choppy when Leota flies up and grabs a couple of books; which are all pink and blue. Then we get a odd moment: Leota and all the wood sprites fly over to Gimmick's airship with the books. Okay; fine. The next shot shows Wooly at the branch as wood sprites jump into his hands and he carries them over. Now; the reason I say that this is strange is: I think the spot was supposed to be Wooly carrying the elves, who do not have wings; but the artists completely messed up and drew them as wood sprites! Which makes the spot make no sense! So we head in front of the airship as everyone watches on. Leota puts the books down in front of the Mini-Sizer machine; which is now in the shape of what it will become for the rest of the series. Red button is small and green button is big. Nowadays; they would switch places due to obesity, but that is neither here nor there. Gimmick pushes the green button, the Mini-Sizer dances around, the artwork of the sprites is horrible as the beam of doom hits the books and makes them big enough for Wooly to carry them. Teddy presents a surprised Wooly with the new giant books and Wooly picks them up. He's so nice and big as Wooly blushes badly as we zoom out to a far shot of the airship with poor animation and drawing to end the episode at 19:12. What a dull and boring episode this was?! The animation was worse in this regard too. * 1/2 (30%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Okay; this episode is a low point for this series. It wasn't awful by any means; but it was boring and dull without much in terms of action as it was mostly Wooly going through the pains of being a student of Leota's school. The setup took seven minutes to set up; and it went on forever. If this were today; this would be trimmed down to eleven minutes without fail. The Tweeg/Maggotheart angle couldn't push it past below average and it just wasn't all that funny today. Maggotheart was still pretty awesome; but she felt nerfed; although to be fair, the Tweeg segment lasted four minutes and it was never paid off in anyway. The animation was horrible and the continuity was shot like crazy yet again. The rest was just there: Wooly goes to school, Wooly hates school, Wooly gives it another chance, he accepts it, we get a finish, it's over just like that. There was no heat for it and I didn't care. It felt like a waste of time to me. Get used to this kind of booking because the next episode is "Sign Of A Friend"; which is the infamous ASL sign language angle; the first one done since Deafula. Which means this show does it better by default. So...

Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

 

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