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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: Teddy Ruxpin's Birthday
Reviewed: 06/02/2018
...Aired In The Weirdest Spot in Serial Show History!
Well; welcome back to the Fathers Day Specials as we continue on the adventure that is Teddy Ruxpin. And it's perfect timing in a way because Teddy Ruxpin has gone from being rebooted back in doll form and now it is confirmed that he is getting a television series, which I actually was expecting since the reboot was announced. Weither this will be any good is another matter for another time; since there is no evidence of any production to critique. So, let's head back to 1987 as we head down the Post-Ying Zoo arc and head into the pre-Hate Plague arc stuff with the dreaded Wizardweek arc. At this point; Teddy has discovered what four of the seven crystals do (although the audience has figured out half of what crystal #7 does as demonstrated on Tweeg in the Post-Death Of Innocence arc), has met The Hermit and has almost become the Ying Zoo's plaything. Now; this episode is basically Teddy Ruxpin's birthday. Surprisely; it's wasn't the episode itself that was interesting; but when it aired. Now, it makes sense to air this after the Ying Zoo arc since the golden donut angle from the previous arc is in evidence. However; the broadcasters and execs thought this was poor timing and decided to air the episode inbetween the episodes where Teddy and Grubby were captured by Ying and before Quellor shows up to try to capture Teddy and try to get the crystals back (which he failed as all the babyfaces escaped). WHAT?! That is the peak of incompentence right there. They cared more about airing the birthday episode than they did about making the story make sense. And they wonder why creators get angry about this?! Absolutely mind boggling to me. So, how does this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...?
We begin this one with a sky shot of Gimmick's house as we cut to a window and head inside a room with Grubby singing about him swimming if the water weren't so wet. All while taking a bath in a wooden tub as he made a mess on the floor during this. I cannot take anything you sing seriously. That song is silly! Head upstairs to Teddy talking to himself while combing his hair in front of the mirror. He also knows that it's his birthday. Personally; I would had loved this more if Teddy had not known it was his birthday, what with all the distractions he has had to face in the last three or four story arcs. Grubby has a wooden sailboat model that he blows wind into the mast with as Gimmick is coming in to put logs in the fireplace. So, Gimmick and Grubby are talking about today without saying anything about it, for good reason as Grubby talks about how wonderful his memory is. And considering how fallible memories are; that isn't saying much. He forgot his towel which is on the coat rack and Gimmick giggles when that happens. So Gimmick and Grubby have the most awkward conversation of all time and it's clear that they do not hate each other and are just doing this to distract Teddy at this point, because we all know what's going on here. There is a lot more animation in this sequence than in any sequence on this show. The model boat is called the S.S. Zina; which is to remind us that Grubby and Zina (The Octopede Sailor) have eyes for each other. This causes Gimmick to bail because science calls and according to Grubby, it steals towels. Okay; that was funny. Jump cut to Teddy upstairs finishing his business (It's not what you think; you sickos!) as Grubby asks Teddy for a towel while shivering to death. Teddy at first, looks annoyed and then stops selling and comes downstairs with the towel. He gives it to Grubby as Teddy goes to the sink to bring out the breakfast bowls with the tray as he points out that Grubby hates taking baths. Grubby comes out drying himself and proclaims that it's a special day as Teddy thinks he remembered and Grubby stammers before claiming that today is his Aunt's anniversary. I hope this was true; because that would be funny.
Of course; it is probably not and Grubby probably made it up because he nearly blew his cover. Teddy is all confused and leaves as Grubby has his breakfast, while claiming that his memory is just too good. Yeah, sure. Teddy walks out of the room not liking this as we head to Tweeg's Tower as we head inside with Tweeg pacing around while LB and for rant purposes, the official debut of the worst mother in the history of animation and she is shameless in the attempt; Elinore Tweeg. She makes Jack W. Tweeg look like the ethical one in comparsion and has negative love for her son. No sympathy nor empathy either. Only LB can make a smoking joke funny; and it also helps when the stove is doing it. Elinore asks a reasonable question (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Mr. Weagle!) and Tweeg tells her to start worrying. I would start running out of the tower if I were you. Jack does his already over the top promo about his wacky alchemism as his eyes shows coins. At least Tweeg is a heel and I can laugh at it. When Scrooge does it in excess, it's extremely annoying. LB calls him Twank (because Tweeg is a...you can fill in the rest.) because the scientific achivement is done. In more ways than one I might add. Tweeg brings out the buttermilk donuts out of the stove and puts them on the table. LB is not fooled at all by this and Tweeg is in denial mode again. Elinore tastes one of them and agrees with LB and then poke her cane into LB's nose; accusing him of being a liar. The story during the Ying Zoo arc was that LB bumped into Miss Maggotheart and her bag and a golden bracelet that was repo'ed fell to the ground in front of LB and LB assumed it was a golden buttermilk made donuts when he flipped them onto his horn (and they screwed up the background during the closeup shot) and he showed them off to Quellor. LB makes a fat joke about Quellor busting a gut and claims Tweeg can do it if he follows the recipe. So wait; he was not following the recipe during those attempts and was merely winging it? This leads to Elinore and LB asking Tweeg if he didn't do the stupidest thing of them all: Giving the recipe to Quellor. Uh-oh!
If I recall correctly; Tweeg gave Quellor the recipe in the Ying Zoo arc, so Tweeg is done for. Tweeg of course completely lies and claims that the recipe he gave was as good as LB's last pay cheque. Of course; it's useless! He is right of course; but for a much different reason. LB asks if he gave a recipe for rubber and we head to MAVO headquarters and head into a room with the troll nephews (Sludge and Drudge) preparing ingredients for the recipe to make buttermilk into "gold" (or donuts; a staple of the average Canadian diet). The vat they are using is the exact same one they used to drag the troll nephews octopus friend Dredge two story arcs ago. Quellor reading off the grocery list is much funnier than anything happening in this scene as stuff gets thrown in with the sole purpose of splashing into Quellor's face. The stinking deadly pjs of doom were donated by Trudge by the way; and considering that Whatever Turns You On was the pioneer of fart jokes and was produced in Canada, this is one time where blaming Canada is totally justified. Sludge wonders about the accurancy of the formula and Quellor proclaims that it is assumed it's accurate because Tweeg would never double cross him. Even though MAVO's entire mantra is that you are a heel for life and thus double crossing would be well within the rules of MAVO. Tweeg has no scruples, you see; and why does Quellor have any is a better question. Sludge actually is not buying this and Quellor blows him off because he's not required to think. Don't you mean; not allowed to think? Because apparently; thinking is still allowed in MAVO. This writing is confusing me now.
So we scene change because we have to mix the formula and instead of using a spoon; the troll nephews basically throw Trudge into the vat and then call him fatso, making Trudge cry because he's huskie. I blame the animators for his weight this time; because they cannot read the room right. Quellor then tells Sludge to apologize, not because he thinks Sludge say anything wrong; but because it's clear that the crying is annoying to him. Sludge gives out a not-apology for this; and Trudge still forgives him because he's a heel too. Trudge moves around. Scene change back to Gimmick's house as Gimmick calls out Teddy and Grubby to witness his latest upgrade to the Airship: A land sail...using the airbag as the sail. Apparently this will give them the ability to sail on land and since there is enough wind, let's do a test run. So the trio gets on board as Gimmick is the driver and Teddy and Grubby have to lower the sail into position. So, we get the most not dangerous dodge of a rock we have ever saw. It was so not dangerous that Gimmick had to turn the airship literally 45 degrees in order to make it even look dangerous. Grubby wants to go to Measely Meadows (?sp) and the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM's music is ready so, we can have Teddy sing how wonderful sailing is. I believe this is the second or third time he has sang this song in the series. And the green fuzzy bird makes an appearance once again as we end the segment eight minutes in. This birthday episode has been pretty boring thus far.
After the commercial break; we see the airship parked on the plains as we pan over to the trio sitting around shooting the breeze in a G-rated way. Teddy is on his belly asking Grubby about his memories and Grubby assures him that he forgets nothing. If you ever want an example of why memories are fallable and unreliable; call Grubby. Gimmick is reading a green covered book and Teddy is not impressed by this as thankfully, the Wooly Whatsit comes in and somehow, his memories might be slightly less fallible than Grubby's memories. He came to have a picnic with his friends; which means Wooly can sell a secret perfectly, because he's honest enough to not mess this up. So; Wooly sets the blanket up with the picnic basket and Teddy sits on the picnic basket. Okay; now it's clear Teddy is onto their misdirection plays and is now playing along to catch them admitting that they do know that it's his birthday. Wooly claims that he only comes here once in a while; which also sounds reasonable; but his awkwardness proves that he's in on the conspriacy. I shouldn't be surprised that Teddy has pretty much figured this out; since Illana pretty much did the same thing when her beloved came home. In comes Faye, Frank and the Baby Fobs, whose uncle is Grubby. Frank nearly blows their cover; but Faye tells him to be quiet before the cover is blown. Their excuse is to stand around. These people cannot keep a secret in a believable way even if they were under gunfire. The baby fobs sound more natural than the adults as Teddy accuses them of being confused. Nope; no confusion here, they aren't very good at protecting their secrets. Although they are doing a better job than most professionals today in the video game industry. So the fob family decides to sit down on Grubby's suggestion and the kids all ask "Where's the cake?" I cackled after that as Teddy wants answers to this confusion, so he has not figured this out yet. That's bad booking guys. Gimmick denies it all, like a heel and in come the Jungle Grunges with their leader welding a baseball bat.
In real life; this is the universal symbol of a heel beatdown to commence; but in this show, it implies that they want to play Grungeball. Teddy is not thrilled about this; but decides to be diplomatic about it. The red haired mohawkish Grunge basically says the exact same thing as the baby fobs and he has to be quiet now, so they are in on this conspiracy. So, I was right as they want to play Grungeball with the Grunges against Teddy's team. This actually makes sense because back in the Grungeball episode (The arc of Tweeg's redempation), the Grunges were squashing the MudBulps (Don't worry; they found a way to get around the sunlight angle) when Tweeg sold hotdogs with the stomach aching hotdogs known as Belly Bombs; and then Teddy's ragtag team subbed in and eeked out a narrow win to save Gimmick Valley and Gimmick's house, the only time Gimmick was ever truly threaten by Tweeg. Sreena appears to be selling an eye injury at this point. So we head back to Tweeg Tower as Tweeg is inside reading and blowing off LB. LB is on a unicycle like eggbeater beating the ingredients inside a cauldron. LB suggests leaving the lumps in and calls him Twix, dangerously coming close to infringement, because they would turn into nuggets. HAHA! Tweeg is not a nugget! He is a black heart, a sole surivior, WOOOOOOO~! Makes a lot more sense with him than with Owen Hart, sadly. Tweeg teases a compliment and gives one and then blows him off because the eggbeater is horrible. Tweeg orders LB to stop mixing and LB jumps off. Tweeg orders LB to steal from Gimmick's house again and walks off stage right. LB asks why no one says please anymore. Because that is a babyface move, LB. That's why. LB then invokes the Billy Van joke of a walk resting his feet and then he catches himself because what he said is so stupid. Yup. Scene change back to the meadows as we have a makeshift Grungeball game in progress. Grubby is at bat as Teddy is on third base and the ragtag team is down by either one or two runs; since a hit will tie this game up. So, I assume it's one run; but I don't think this show can keep that straight.
Grubby is scared to death of this; because he's facing legit Grunges instead of those wimpy Mudbulps last time. Apparently; Grubby has two baseball bats; but only one he swings and misses for strike two. So, the red mohawkish catcher is the umpire, which sounds like a conflict of interest to me. Sreena is the pitcher and she's pitching well for someone with one good eye. It's now pronounced Treena of course as Teddy is trying to pep up Grubby; but that might only serve to make Grubby look even more nervous. Grubby's batting style is beyond silly; but the 0-2 pitch manages to get hit by the second bat (MLB this isn't) and he gets a base hit off, Teddy scores to tie the game and Grubby gets on first base. In comes the Wooly Whatsit with the biggest baseball bat I have ever seen. It's like the giant chair Big Show used in the Chairs Match in WWE. And despite that; he wiffs and gets himself dizzy for strike one. Wooly is taunting Sreena to throw the ball in the strike zone and she does and the speed of the pitch causes the ball to break the bat and both the piece of the bat and ball fly into the air. One of the Grunges catches the broken bat; but that doesn't count as an out, so it's a hit. Grubby runs the bases; but Wooly just stands there profusely apologizing. He is truly Canadian~! Teddy is yelling at him to run; but Wooly is to Canadian to take advantage of this.. Grubby steps on home plate to take the lead; so Teddy has to push Wooly (Which by Little League rules is interference and thus an out). That's kind of heelish of him, since it's against the rules to touch a player or push him and they have the lead. A kind person like Teddy would encourage him to run; but would not act like he needs the second run nor act desperate. Wooly finally runs and Sreena forgives him; and then grabs the ball and tags him out. HAHA! Scene change to LB hopping to Gimmick's house and checks the windows. You are safe LB; so it's time to steal some gimmicks and cue Vinny laugh. That was funny. An engine fan on the table in front of the house is right there for LB to steal and that is that. LB calls it a labour saving device; which I don't care.
So, we scene change to MAVO's kitchen as Sludge is dragging out the vat of something that you know is not gold. Drudge and Trudge watch on as Trudge appears with a giant club and might kill Sludge for that awful fat shaming insult Sludge spewed earlier in this episode. I doubt that will happen though. So, the troll nephews check out the boiling soup and they aren't amused by this and when you have to look at it from a distance and call it modern art, you know it's not gold. Quellor shows everyone aside and considering that he's the only one who thinks Tweeg has scruples, it's a wonder that he is still the surpeme oppressor at this point. Although Tweeg with the Black Box should have been a clue; but whatever. Trudge salutes him and then walks off and his clubs bonks into the back of the head of Quellor and he dives into the vat of disgusting soup; that is something his mother would have made. Of course! Quellor appears to be drowning; so the troll nephews help him to his feet and shows that he was in no danger of drowning. Boiling to death maybe; but not drowining. Quellor spits and out comes one of his teeth, which has a crudely made golden cap attached to it. This show cannot shake off it's Canadian roots, no wonder it didn't get over. The troll nephews pick up Quellor's tooth and then act like they won the Wrestlemania main event; causing Quellor to blow them off and get all angry as the bonk by Trudge apparently got his mean spirited heat back. Quellor is angry and proclaims that this is all Tweeg's fault and he will pay for all this. Because it's never the fault of the one who teaches that having no scruples is the way of life and then is surprised when the guy who has no scruples gets back at him. It's just MAVO conditioning after all. So we head back to Measley Meadows BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Teddy (who is both catcher and umpire; which is at least more trustworthy, but still a conflict of interest) and Grubby are having a conference. We discover that the bases are loaded with two outs; but the ragtag team is still ahead and can win the game with one more out. So, at bat is the catcher of the Grunges as Teddy returns to his catching position.
So, the catcher swings and misses on the first pitch as the ragtag team pops for that. The red haired Grunge is not impressed by this as Gimmick calls this steroid projecting. What?! Grubby throws his second pitch and we don't see if he swinged at it and Teddy calls strike two. And since Teddy only lies about Grubby's root stew, that means that he is a better umpire than any umpire in baseball. Teddy gives the thumbs up and throws the ball back to Grubby. Grubby then gets the signal from Teddy and Grubby throws the meatball pitch as the Red haired Grunge channels Jose Bautista and swings for the fences on that ball. That ball is crushed deep to right field and I expect a major bat flip to happen as Teddy thinks they have lost the game on a grand slam; even though no Grunges were on base the entire time. WHAT?! That is so stupid. Then; in comes Leota out of nowhere as she grabs the ball for the catch and the final out, even though she was literally written in by teleport. Even TEDDY RUXPIN was shocked to see her as the red hair Grunge asks if she is on their team and Grubby says yes because she's the tallstop. The complete irony of this is completely lost on me, although; this is the same sport that allows Grubby to swing two bats, umpires and catchers have the same role, Grubby can throw three fastballs in a row and is allowed mitts that spring up to catch high fly balls. So, again; what rulebook?! So, the ragtag team proves why they saved Gimmick's house last time; but Leota refuses MVP honors because Teddy is the MVP; since next up is his birthday party as they finally blow their cover. Teddy still acts like he's shocked, I don't know why, it only makes him look dumb. Grubby of course is the one behind this as Grubby proclaims that he doesn't forget anything, he just knows when to lie. And hey, if Teddy is going to lie about hating Grubby's root stew, then Grubby can lie about not knowing about his birthday. At least Grubby's lie is not out of hate for something. Everyone laughs in unison and we head back to Tweeg Tower with LB bringing up the engine of doom up the steps as he shows it off to Tweeg. Tweeg is so happy that he stuffs the engine in LB's mouth. HA!
Next; he discovers that it works like a lawnmower in that he has to jerk the rope; which he should be an expert on. Wink! Wink! Nudge! Nudge! So, he jerks the rope and we mix the batter and it splatters over everyone, so it's basically every Peppa Pig and George Pig mixing batter spot you ever saw and that ends the segment for the Non-American audience as we return to the tree in Measley Meadows for the night party with lanterns as everyone is complaining about presents, cake, ice cream and food. Wooly shows off the basket where the presents are; but where is the food?! There's no way that the cake, ice cream and food could fit in there, unless the basket has TARDIS abilities. So, then it's time for the birthday singing segment as this was really good and it's different from Happy Birthday at least. Teddy is the only one wearing a goofy party hat of course and it seems like creative spent half of the budget on this episode alone. Teddy gets a number one t-shirt; the only time anyone would ever think of him as such. Then we get three WUZZLE SCENE CHANGERS OF DOOM of Teddy Ruxpin as a baby (In Gimmick's house no less. WHAT?!) and then cut straight to Teddy in graduation gear accepting a diploma which appears to be in some location I have never seen in the series. It might be a temple in the Hard To Find City for all I know. I'm serious! I love how Leota sings about growing up before their very eyes, in spite of the fact that no one on the show ever saw Teddy Ruxpin as a baby. Grubby's relationship is barely two years old at this point. None of this makes any sense. I think Teddy is supposed to be sixteen years old in storyline; but I think he is supposed to be either 18 or 19 now by the diploma spot. Not a big deal since Grubby might have at least seen Teddy graduate. Then again; this episode was treated like an episodic episode anyway by the broadcasters, so who knows. Somehow; everyone teleports into Gimmick's house as Teddy opens the door and is surprised after being in the dark for a few seconds. Then we teleport back and white question marks surround him. I wish they stop wasting time and end this episode already.
So Grubby brings in the giant cake and because the animators cannot reduce the candle size; they were able to fit twelve candles on his cake. Teddy ponders it over and then blows out all twelve candles. More singing, more handshaking and then Wooly grabs him and cuddles him. Don't ask me why. More singing and confetti as Grubby cannot get a bite of cake to eat. HAHA! And then Grubby gets so much cake and ice cream that he just Shaggied the food. See what I did there? It shrinks to half of the size in the next sequence, because Grubby has an iron stomach; or the animators do not know shot continuity. At least the former is believable in this case. Grubby kicks up and throws his plate into the sky; and is confused; but Wooly has it intact and gives it back to Grubby because even this show is too afraid to show Teddy looking like a mess. They also repeat the sequence with Grubby throwing the plate again at the end of the song and it somehow lands on Grubby's rear end intact. Super lucky indeed! So then we get the most awkward sequence shot of fireworks ever as even Teddy isn't exactly thrilled with the way that spot was pulled off. Teddy waves and winks to the hard camera as we fade to black to end the episode at 19:13. This was all right; but it sounded and looked awfully awkward to watch because as animated as this was, it looked way off. At least there weren't many logic breaks in this one, and the Tweeg/LB segments were fine. ** 1/2 (50%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; that last two minutes was a completely hot logical mess continuity and storywise as the animators spent too much time trying to prove that they can animate; but not enough time animating to make sure everything made sense. The song they sang was great, but the animation didn't make much sense because it implied that Teddy was raised in Gimmick's house! The other segments were just there to fill the running time, although Quellor's "I'm stupid and somehow make the trolls look smart" routine was amusing to me. Tweeg and LB was what it was; but Elinore was minimized, so she didn't annoy me at all. Don't worry; we'll hate her soon enough. Heck; we should already be hating her for causing a living nightmare to Elroy Tweeg, that is for sure. Overall; this was just a birthday episode that was inoffensive and there's nothing wrong with that. Next up is Wizardweek for real. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.