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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: Air & Water Races
Reviewed: 06/09/2018
A Lot Of Hot Air & Water Logged Shorts Ensue!
Well; we have now reached the halfway point of this series overall as we continue with Wizardweek. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?
We begin this one with a sky shot of a camping area as there are at least seven sleeping bags on the ground. Tweeg, LB and Elinore are there and Elinore is literally sewing the sleeping bags to seal them tight, so I assume the rest of the competition is in them. CHEAT TO WIN~! This is what Ed Brayton would describe as the Tonya Harding defense, only lead pipes would violate BS&P rules; so a expert steamtress would have to do. I feel dirty saying anything of praise to Elinore Tweeg. Tweeg is giddy about this as we discover that Elinore made Elroy do it. In 1987, she's a heel. In 2018; that turns her babyface; and there's nothing babyfacish about that face. This was Jack's idea though and Tweeg gets backhanded lightly for trying to bootlick Elinore; even though he's good at it. Elniore snips the yarn and proclaims themselves winners at Lizardweek; so even she is trolling the wizard of Grundo at this point. Jack corrects her and Elinore claims it's the same difference. We hear Jethro struggling and one of the sleeping bags is moving on the way out. Scene change to the bleacher as the crowds gather (and their pockets swindled...ERRRR...I mean, empty due to admission to the event) as we pan west to the Wizard asking why only Tweeg's team has shown up for the synchronized swimming. Only in a Canadian cartoon, this would be considered an event. In the United States, they would play water polo, because toxic masculinity, everyone! Tweeg demands everyone be DQ'ed and Tweeg's team wins by forfeit; but Wizard isn't biting since he wants this to look good on film. Or; Louie, who is mangling metaphors like Orac on speed. Although, the triumph of stupidity is accurate with Tweeg in focus on that one. So, the Wizard wants the swimming competition to commence. And now I know why I never see this competition in a cartoon: This was the most laughably bad synchronized swimming event in the history of the world and not just in cartoons. Tweeg's outfit would make Gedo hang his head in shame. The Wizard has that look of "this is going to fail, I just know it" and everything Tweeg tried was laughably bad. The bounders are coughing and this was Chargeman Ken awfulness.
So, Buffy seems to be the only one who knows what she is doing as they do the Starburst Formation. And; by the way, the animation was totally fine here. The booking is totally fine here; because it was suppose to be this bad; since they are heels and the only way they would win is if the competition couldn't make it somehow. Crowd loves it; because none of them have been to a synchronized swimming event. An audience with a clue would have laughed this entire act out of the building. Louie of course has to correct himself about giving the bounders a hand and it ends with LB goring Tweeg in his rear end under the water -- by far the best thing on the show -- and this leads to the feet juggling Tweeg as a ball spot, which is perfectly executed. You know what, I take it back: Everyone would be jobbing to this group anyway even if Tweeg didn't CHEAT TO WIN~! It's called the Beach Ball Routine by Louie as we head back to the meadow as three more sleeping bags appear out of nowhere. One of them is dark green and one is light green. Remember that because we are going to see a classic Teddy Ruxpin moment: So Grubby rolls over to Wooly (I can tell this due to the voices because the sleeping bags look exactly the same in a bad continuity error) and bonks into him. Wooly gets mad. Everyone gets mad and stands up. On that far shot; half of the sleeping bags change color and then two sleeping bags arrive and somehow one of them clearly is in Grubby's shape, even though that sleeping bag came out of nowhere and didn't bonk into him. Grubby then bonks into someone and that person bonks into one of the sleeping bags that was clearly containing the fobs because the physics caused Fuzz to go through the sewing of the sleeping bag and pop out of said sleeping bag. I'm guessing it was Wooly; but the continuity is so bad here, it could have been Teddy for all I know. Which would have been funnier if true. So, everyone is freed by Fuzz as the shot continuity still sucks. Cut back to Louie in camera loving this as Tweeg is jumping on LB's head and calling someone a jerk. I say this because I cannot tell if he's blowing off LB, Louie or both in this scene. I hope it was both.
Louie's commentary is getting on my nerves now as LB sidesteps Tweeg and Tweeg eats Leeke Lake water. HA! Jump cut back to the meadow with everyone free as we get another continuity error. Remember back in the Elves & Woodsprites arc -- the last episode most of all -- where the continuity of the episode was completely shot and I hated that? Well; it's happening again because none of the Grunge competitors were sleeping with the other competitors. They just used random Grunges and they may have been spectators at the event. Also, Team Leota and Team Nogbert were not there at all and Team Wooly seems to have double the competitors. And 1980's kids wonders why 2010's kids think these shows are hot garbage? Forget the bad animation for a second; how about getting a continuity coordinator with a clue? Yes, Katherin Victor was part of a lot of Z-grade movies; but she was a decent continuity coordinator and I never got a headache like this with TaleSpin. Yes, TaleSpin had it's share of problems; but continuity was not one of them. So they deduce that Tweeg was behind this and they make stitches puns before Teddy motions to everyone to come with him to the first event; which they are way too late. So, the Original Fuzz was the only competitor that did not get caught, as Tweeg and the bounders sweep the podium. I don't see why anyone thought anyone had a chance to top what Tweeg and the bounders did. LB is second and Buffy is third of course. The rest of the bounders do not get anything. Sad! And continuity is horrible during the medal presentation as Current Fuzz and Prince Arin are talking to other people. CF was in the sleeping bag! And he's acting like nothing happened. Who is booking this episode?! Jethro is holding an elf as the mob has arrived to protest this outrage. He should be protesting the continuity of this episode, because it's horroawful~! Tweeg blows them off and accuses them of oversleeping as they basically used three Grunge arms to do the pumping fists in rage spot. Wizard breaks this up by getting the second event announced and he runs down everyone by spieces and everyone bails stage left as Tweeg breathes a sigh of relief.
Tweeg proclaims that he was saved by the gong; even though no gong was used. Did The Gong Show try to sue this show? Considering the continuity of this episode alone; I'm shocked The Gong Show didn't just call the producers and get a deal for this, because the continuity of this show deserved to be gonged. So, the next event is the water boat race. Tweeg's ship is like a viking boat; without the Viking motifs. The bounders are rowing while Tweeg and Elinore are doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING~! Arin and Aruzia are using an inflatable raft, Jethro and Jenna Lee/Ginne are using a sailboat, Gimmick has the airship in water boat mode (Grubby: Told ya!), Wooly has the fobs in a small row boat and is confused. The woodsprites boat looks completely different on the far shots than the one they were preparing earlier; although at least it might be because the one we saw previous was sinking and they had to resort to building a different boat. I'll let that one slide. Funny moment: Wizard lighting the torch with a long match and the smoke and soot still manages to fall on his body and make him cough. So, it's ready steady, go as Wooly is still confused, just like not running in Grungeball after hitting a broken bat triple that should have been a homerun if Wooly had a clue. So, Wooly throws the boat and it skips on the water, the fobs row as we jump cut to Elinore on drums while Tweeg does nothing. LB somehow appears out of nowhere beside him as four of the bounders row. Okay; I'm done getting angry about all of this continuity botchery, so let's move on. Apparently; Elinore is bent on killing Arin dead because it's time to CHEAT TO WIN~! Oh wait, Tweeg is turn keying a box and manning a spear drill that comes out of the boat. So, LB is just on look out and nothing else. Nice to see Tweeg actually doing some work for a change with LB doing nothing. So, the boat's drill bonks into Arin & Aruzia's boat and pops the raft as it's RAFT OUT OF CONTROL~! This forces Arin and Aruzia to swim to shore, in what appears to be the same island The Hermit was on in the "Lost Time Made Up" arc. Which two crystals were discovered. Yeah.
So, next up is Jethro, Jenna Lee/Ginna and their parasailing boat. Jethro is loving the breeze and calling it cosmic. So, we see the paddle boat containing the elves (so the boat Leota was using sank forever) and Tweeg actually has a heart, even if it's dark as sin because they are nothing. But Elinore is a monster heel and loves punching down on the little things since the big things take care of themselves. And she wonders why Elroy left her? So, they decide to ram the paddleboat; but since Jethro and company have already won an event previously; they decide to do a gnarly curve over and take the shot for the paddleboat with the elves and get rammed instead. Great moment for the Surf Grunges and it doesn't make them look stupid because it seems the booking is supposed to be that everyone won an event. That's a good thing because that then makes the final event of Wizardweek mean something. Tweeg laughs out loud for this as Jethro and Ginne/Jenna Lee are like Kit and Molly on a board; except Jethro is loving putting on his shades. He don't care; he became a human being for once. Scene change to the Airship as Gimmick cannot get his motor engine working. Wait; wasn't the engine motor prop stolen during Teddy Ruxpin's birthday? How did he get it back? Grubby blows off vector for being stupid; like a guy who is against science, only nicer. Teddy panics because here comes Tweeg and the viking boat as they are next to be rammed. The airship gets rammed and both Teddy and Grubby get bumped off into the center of the airship. So, an grey yardarm (which appears out of nowhere for no reason) breaks from the main yardarm and bonks into the motor engine and somehow it sticks to the rear of the boat and the airship goes into super speed mode and swamps Tweeg's boat after Tweeg turns around to wave since LB yells "Wave!". HAHA! The boat gets overturned and the team gets swamped. This leads to the Team Wooly and Team Leota to get a super boost from the wave and they end up winning the event at the same time. So, now Team Nogburt is the only team to not win a medal yet. Cut to the stands as the woodsprites and Frank and Faye are popping for this moment. The Baby Fobs are clearly bored and bail on cue and head to the shoreline of Leakee Lake as the airship sails past the overturned boat of Team Tweeg and this leads to an awesome moment:
Gimmick: Who says cheaters ever prosper?
Tweeg:
(Pumps his fist): CHEATERS~! Ah! (Elinore shoves
Tweeg into the water.)
Now that was funny! So, the airship finishes third as the Wizard loves this and announces the next event: The Air Race. Louie bicycles away into the sky on his bicycle helicopter. So, we head down and notice the baby fobs at the shoreline claiming that they want to swim like Arin and Aruzia did. How they noticed this says a lot about the abilities of these little fobs. So, the fobs hop in and swim away from the hard camera to end the episode nine minutes in. The storyline is fine; but the animation and continuity of this episode is a total mess. So; with two events remaining, here are the standings:
[1.] Team Gimmick: 2 Gold, 1 Silver, 1 Bronze - 4
Medals.
[2.] Team Tweeg: 1 Gold, 1 Silver, 2 Bronze - 4
Medals.
[3.] Team Wooly: 1 Gold, 0 Silver, 1 Bronze - 2
Medals.
[4.] Team Grunges: 1 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze -1
Medal.
[5.] Team Leota: 1 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze - 1 Medal.
[6.]
Team Nogburt: 0 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze - 0 Medals.
After the commercial break, we head to a sky shot near a tree where Wooly is preparing his paper airplane with the Fobs. Team Nogbert has to win gold here, or they are finished as competitors. Also; Team Tweeg nor Team Gimmick cannot metal in this event; or they both have to medal in order to have the booking make sense here. So, everyone is testing their equipment as Tweeg's method is to be literally a birdman; only with the bounders holding a trampoline with their teeth to make him bounce up. Well; this almost assures Tweeg is not going to medal, which is fine; but the Airship is involved and this means they are the heavy favorites here. Arin and Aruzia have a chance in the bi-plane; but Old Beanly is the one who's flying it, so it appears that they are done, finished with no chance in Hades to win. The crowds bail as Faye and Frank are in a panic on the ground because the baby fobs have jettisoned them. And they are really good swimmers I might add. Faye is so right. Then we get a really stupid moment: Jethro and the Surf Grunges are sitting in the bleachers when Frank and Faye go over to make small talk. Jethro, Ginne and Jenna Lee are directly in the competition! So, in other words; they forfeited from the Air Race for no good reason that I can think of. Anyhow; Jethro claims that the baby fobs went to the beach and we then cut to them who before the commercial break were swimming far away from the shore. When we see them again; they are 30 feet away from the shore, so they must have swam back and are now suffering from cramps, because they can no longer swim the thirty feet required to get on shore. I betcha the continuity will be shot to heck here as they scream for mommy and daddy; and here comes Frank and Faye and they can do nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING about this. Thankfully; the Airship arrives as Grubby notices Frank and Faye screaming as the trio notices that the baby fobs are in trouble. Now; Grubby decides that the best method of saving them is to jump out of the airship into the water and in doing so, nearly drowns them in a wave. Smooth one, octopede, real smooth.
So, this serves the purpose of doing an underwater spot as Grubby rescues the fobs and that is that. You can tell that the Japanese animation unit did this scene judging by the amount of white lines in the bubbles during this sequence. Teddy proclaims that they were lucky as Grubby swims towards the shore as the fobs are so happy to see Uncle Grubby again. So, it's time for the time wasting filler TEDDY RUXPIN OF DOOM segment, which is a rock song PSA for water safety. This was probably where all the budget and man power was blown and they still manage to mess this up by having Teddy Ruxpin disappear during the undertow segment via teleport to please BS&P of course. And somehow; the water where Teddy and Grubby are is not deep enough despite being in the middle of the lake. This episode is a total mess now. So, the song ends with Gimmick bringing down the rope ladder and Teddy and Grubby climb up as Frank, Faye and the baby fobs (with the yellow fobs outclassing everyone) enjoy being in the lake. The Airship nearly buzzes the wizard as he has a firecracker on retainer. 2:1 odds that it explodes and Wizard get a blackface when he lights it. Running racist gags, everyone! The competitors all bail as the Airship lands and Jenna Lee/Ginne has teleported from the bleachers as I discover that she is in the competition on her handglider. So, yes; the Grunges are in the event and Jenna Lee was taking a smoke break without the smoke on-camera. Talk about exposing the business there, guys! So, Arin and Aruzia talk to Old Beanly and he confuses Air Race with Air Raid. Which an Air Raid requires a heck of a lot more skill and endurance. I think he's going to be all right here. Not. Arin starts the props as it's ready, steady, go~! Of course; the wizard lights the fuse and the firecracker explodes and he's all sooty...AGAIN! Of course; Old Beanly has never flown an airplane before; so it's all over for Team Nogburt right now. No comeback whatsoever. Of course; Old Beanly is flying in the opposite direction as this is turning into a glorified Mario Kart race five years before Mario Kart even existed. Jump cut to Tweeg bouncing off a trampoline.
He is at least making progress unlike Old Beanly. Team Grunges are flying Jenna Lee/Ginnie on the handglider as she lets go. Then we get another major continuity error: Wooly throws the Fob's airplane into the air. Now; originally, it was supposed to be a paper airplane, but it's now a model airplane. WHAT?! That makes no sense. Leota of course enters herself in the competition and nearly gets buzzed and just has to do the Butterbear whirlwind spot. Leota gets pass Team Gimmick; but bonks into the top of the handglider and has to regain her senses before continuing. Crowd is loving this in one of the few crowd shots that looks halfway decent. Elinore is on the ground looking in through her telescope and she calls Tweeg's run pathetic, so it's time to CHEAT TO WIN~! AGAIN! She bails as we scene change back to Old Beanly still going the wrong way. So, Old Beanly pulls the lever (CLEVER....NOT~!) and it breaks! Team Nogbert cannot buy a break at all. The plane does turn around in the right direction though. So, somehow; Team Gimmick is in third place while Leota has the lead with Jenna Lee (Thank you Teddy for finally id'ing her for me!) is in second place. Despite all this; Tweeg is in fourth place. Until the bounders overshoot their mark and Tweeg falls flat on his face on the ground with his back arched in such a way that he'll have back problems for the rest of his life. And I don't mean; carrying this show either. Apparently; this is not the first time Tweeg has hit the ground as Gimmick wonders about Old Beanly and here comes the bi-plane as it bounces off the Airship bag and takes over third place outright. Old Beanly apologizes as there is no bumping involved while the airship dives down towards the ground. So, we scene change to the bushes as Elinore gets up and has the FAIRY KILLING BUTTERFLY NET OF DEATH blowing off Tweeg for making her stoop to this low. Sadly; it fails because Leota is a woodsprites and she destroys the net and forces Elinore to do the 1987 Ducktales spot that Millionaira Vanderbucks did -- which turned her babyface by the way -- sadly, this one is not nearly as good. Elinore does a bad dive into the water.
Head to a waterfall as it looks like a generic waterfall and not Rainbow Falls (so, the animators have zero idea what they are doing anymore) as Wooly and the other Fobs climb up and get to the edge of the falls. Jump cut to Fuzz as the model airplane finally decides to mess up his chances of winning and the model airplane slams into a tree as Fuzz bails out. He opens the parachute and we have a long sequence where he crashes into the trees. Wooly and the Fobs climb down to check on him; so I assume Team Wooly is not winning here. So, we scene change to more hilarious hits and misses with Tweeg and the bounders with the trampoline. This leads to the wussiest WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE spot I have ever seen. Tweeg had to oversell this to make it look threatening. So the Airship is acting more like an observer at this point as they have to dodge Old Beanly's airplane again and watch Jenna Lee losing altitude as Gimmick goes all science on us; but Jenna Lee gets the bonus updraft as the wind blows up and she maintains her third place showing. More hilarious trampoline action! To be honest; Tweeg and the trampoline is the funniest thing in the episode so far. Finally; the bounders are arguing about direction and the trampoline is torn asunder as Tweeg finally falls and lands on the ground on his rear end; effectively eliminating Team Tweeg from the race outright. Now; in order for the storyline to make sense; Team Gimmick has to place fourth or worse. So, we scene change to Wooly and the fobs (who look like the baby fobs now) running to the trees and Fuzz is swinging with his parachute rope in the tree having the time of his life. So, yes; he's fine. This leads to the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as they sing the "Let's Sail Away Today" song for the second time in this arc and probably the tenth time in this series alone. Another continuity error: The trampoline is repaired and Tweeg is back in the race! STUPID! Funny that Teddy is talking about throwing their worries away when Team Gimmick is tied with Team Tweeg in terms of medals; and the stips are that the loser leaves Gimmick valley forever. Also stupid. And yes, Tweeg missed the trampoline.
Okay; so we scene change to a telescope shot, and both Tweeg and the Fobs are out. Old Beanly is over Bounder Pass; so he's also out, so in other words; they completely buried Team Nogburt outright. That annoys me, but it's not a big problem here. So, the racer finally make it to the finish line and AS MOM AS MY WITNESS~! If they had a CLUE; Leota would be first, Jenna Lee would be second, Old Beanly would be third with the Airship in fourth. AND THEN I BEGAN TO LAUGH; BECAUSE OF COURSE! OF COURSE! Leota wins first, Team Gimmick is second and Jenna Lee is third. This is why Old Beanly should have won and Team Gimmick should be in fourth. Here's why this booking is terrible: (1.) Team Gimmick doesn't have to win the final event now because the story of the episode was that if his team loses, then Gimmick has to leave Gimmick Valley forever. They have FIVE medals now. (Spoiler Alert: Team Gimmick wins the final event outright.) (2.) Tweeg has to medal to merely tie and win gold to tie the gold medal race because if he loses, then Tweeg has to leave Gimmick Valley forever (Spoiler Alert: Team Gimmick wins the final event outright, so Tweeg has to leave the valley; but doesn't because Tweeg is a heel and doesn't adhere to stips anyway.). That means that the heels are chasing the babyfaces, which kills off all the heat this feud has now. You are supposed to book it with Tweeg and Gimmick tied because then there is an incentive to watch the final event to see who will win the event. Even if the babyfaces ultimately win in the end. If the babyfaces are in first place; then there's no incentive to watch further because you know that this is a children's cartoon and they are going to win outright, because that is how it works. This event is over as far as I'm concerned. They did this just to make sure the Airship destroys the finish line banner for a joke. HELLO! You could have Old Beanly do that, or have the Airship do it and come in fourth, you stupid idiots!
Speaking of Old Beanly; in he finally comes as Wooly came in via teleport as Old Beanly make everyone duck as Old Beanly turns the plane upside down, demonstrating why you wear seatbelts because he freefalls. And yes, they made this as a joke. The saddest thing about this is; this was funny actually, but it came in a sea of messes. So; Teddy and the main babyfaces run in and join hands as Old Beanly lands in their hands that in real life; would have broken their arms. Jenna Lee's face is messed up; but it's so minor that I am only extending this rant for so long now. Then the rogue airplane flies straight for them; the babyfaces bail and Old Beanly drops on his back; but he doesn't get buzzed. Then the airplane lands, bounces and lands short of the rocks perfectly. Only the background made sure that the airplane was in no danger whatsoever. So, yes; they messed that spot up as well. Old Beanly is helped up as he asks where his airplane is and everyone laughs at him and the animation is so silly that they appear to be spasming. Jenna Lee is not laughing because she knows this episode is a complete mess now as we end the episode at 19:11. This episode was really bad animation wise; but the story was fine until that horrible finish. * 1/2 (30%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this was one of those episodes where you just shake your head in how bad it was. The animation and shot continuity was beyond horrible as usual and it is becoming a bad joke now. You can tell there was no coordination whatsoever in these episodes as it was animated just to get to the end of the episode. It's one thing to have bad animation, it's another thing when the continuity between shots makes no sense. I would rather take the later over the former and this is one area where modern animation has vastly improved upon in my view. Now; Tweeg and company were funny throughout this, but even they became victims of bad continuity, so it didn't have the full impact I was hoping for. It also caused havoc on the story at large for the most part. And then there was the horrible booking at the finish that killed off any incentive to watch the Ground race now because Team Gimmick is in the league and Team Tweeg is now the babyfaces chasing the winners. If it was the other way around; it would be problematic still, but would be a better outcome than what we got. So, next up is the two part Ground race and despite my criticism over the booking, I have a job to do here. Who will win? Who is leaving Gimmick Valley forever? Will Team Nogburt ever win a medal? And what's the big present the Wizard is going to give to the winner? Find out on my review of the two part Ground Race, because it might be more interesting than the episode itself. So...
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.