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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: The Great Grundo Ground Race

Reviewed: 06/10/2018

The Most Pointless Ground Race Ever!


Well; we have finally gotten to the first half of the series and this arc is in a complete pickle due to their shotty booking of this arc. The final event is the Great Grundo Ground Race (GGGR) and thankfully; the booking has it in two legs, which is two chances to win medals, thus it gives Tweeg a chance to get back in this. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?


We begin this one over the path to the desert while the starting line is for the final event of the show: The Great Grundo Ground Race. And apparently; it's in two legs and teams have two chances to medal. Team Tweeg has to win here, period. If Team Tweeg loses and Team Gimmick places third or better, Tweeg has to leave the valley forever as per the stips. At least there is something to root for here; but this is the same show that messed up at the end of the last episode, so I'm certain Team Gimmick will medal and Team Tweeg will not even place. Louie is in his helicopter bicycle on PA, and he's just getting more annoying by the second. He's a better reporter than a color commentator. The Wizard should commentate, just to see if he unintentionally leaks any secrets of his "magical powers". At least the crowd is cheering and animated despite being half empty. So, Jethro and Jenna Lee are exchanging pleasure thoughts about how close this is going to be. Jenna Lee, despite being a competitor in the entire arc is now rooting for Team Gimmick to win. So, even they know they have no chance of winning Wizardweek. So, we pan over to the competitors. Tweeg is using his iron chariot, Team Gimmick has the airship and Elinore (with the debuting brown dragon Sparky) are basically combining a hamster wheel straight out of the Flintstones era. I cannot see how Elinore drew the short straw for this, I really cannot. Team Leota has a windup car made from a wood spear and is being driven by Cemore, Team Grunges are using a sailboard car and Team Nogburt is literally an ATV with overinflated tires. Off-screen, Team Wooly is riding on a skateboard. So LB notices that the back of the iron chariot reads "Villain On Board". I guess it's a bumper sticker he got as perks for previously being a MAVO member. So, Tweeg and LB exchange notes because Tweeg is nervous about challenging Elinore. Why? If she wins; you get the medal. If Tweeg wins, he gets the medal. If you both medal; you both win. Any the wins go to Team Tweeg anyway; which Elinore is a member of. So, yeah; Tweeg still has mommy issues, as usual. Tweeg wants to cheat on her and LB retracts his words.

Then, Louie basically answers the question for me: Elinore has quit team Tweeg and forms her own team. The good news is that this doesn't affect Team Tweeg in the standings since Elinore has yet to win an event. The bad news is; this makes Tweeg's effort to come back against Team Gimmick even more difficult. Elinore and Sparky make it to the starting line as Sparky can speak actually. Elinore threatens to break Tweeg's kneecaps if Tweeg shows her up. So, we get to see Team Wooly wearing the most unsafest design of helmets in history. Wooly's helmet looks like it could easily split into two on impact. So, five fobs hop on Wooly's back and this is enough to make the wooden skateboard bow. So, one of them has to get off and the orange fob jumps off and the skateboard is fine again. Wooly skateboards to the line and waves to Tweeg; annoying him. Back to Leota as she gets in with Cemore and she's the navigator and is responsible for winding up the car. Okay; fair enough. Cemore, a child student is going to drive the car of course. So, Tweeg comes in and grabs the car and offers to wind it up, and Leota acts like he's being nice. How clueless do you have to be to allow Jack W. Tweeg to do anything for you. Heck; even ELINORE has taken the hint on him! So, yes; Tweeg breaks the windup key as debris causes the students to dodge. Tweeg puts the car down and does the funniest not-pology in this show's history as Team Leota is in a pickle now. However; the power of working together might get them ready by race time. Scene change to Team Gimmick working out the kinks to their airship as it's time to bring out the land sail from Teddy Ruxpin's birthday. Barring a miracle collapse, Gimmick is staying in Gimmick Valley for certain now. Gimmick is blowing off Grubby again, who is fixing the motor engine for some reason. Grubby blows him off because he has to eat. Teddy is accusing Gimmick of letting Tweeg's bet get in the way of having fun. And Teddy is right; especially now that Gimmick has all but won this now. Gimmick blows him off by claiming to be having fun and looking more angry than me; Teddy is being sarcastic upon response. Of course!

So, back to Louie who has a chalkboard and chalk on retainer on a cliff as he thankfully reveals that the race stars near the base of the volcano. Then we go through the desert to Measley Meadows and it ends in Gimmick Valley for the night. So yes; they have messed up the booking here. Since the entire event is all about Gimmick or Tweeg leaving Gimmick's Valley forever, the race should officially end at Gimmick Valley; but the race doesn't officially end until the second leg of the race is held. Who is booking this?! Oh; and don't forget to avoid the Mudbulps as well. Of course; this is all made possible by the Wizard of WeeGee, because he's grumpy. Crowd still pops for him anyway as the Wizard is now on the box where the secret prize for the winner is supposed to be hidden. He also has a cannon as Louie mentions the prize and Wizard wants him to stop yapping about it, even though he NEVER mentioned it during the last episode. So, it's ready, steady... in comes Team Leota with their car totally repaired, much to the disdain of Tweeg...go! And we now figured out why Tweeg's cannon is so messed up: Tweeg has been buying them from the Wizard. Yes; the Wizard light the fuse and the Wizard is so stupid that he gets behind the cannon, and the cannon bonks into the Wizard, sending him flying off-screen when the cannon fires. Daddy Pig would be giggling and saying: "That's the sort of thing that happens to Tweeg all the time!". Tweeg is shocked by this that he flies off his chariot already onto the ground. Wizard hangs on for dear life on the crate and we are off to the most pointless ground race in history. Tweeg chases his chariot and Louie claims that they are all running neck and neck; which is clearly a lie as Louie bicycles around as the crowd pops and it's animated as well. So far, so good animation and continuity wise. So, then we head back to the throne of Quellor inside MAVO headquarters as MAVO is shooting the breeze and reading the newspaper. On the armrest of Quellor's chair is a bowl of green soup which has a lot of bubbles. Quellor is having a terrible day -- in more ways than one -- because his food is still alive for some reason.

So, in come the Troll Nephews as Trudge is motions by Sludge and Drudge to kill whatever is still alive in the bowl of soup. Trudge murders the bowl of soup and the green stuff splatter all over Quellor as Quellor's love for food has died with it. Quellor then notices Tweeg's picture and instead of it saying "Tweeg Is Alone In Race"; which would make sense because Elinore had quit the team; it says "Tweeg wins". To be fair; Team Tweeg has one gold medal (albeit it was in full CHEAT TO WIN mode); but that isn't important in storyline anyway. Quellor is mad and orders the troll nephews to find him and bring him to Quellor as Quellor walks off. He also tells the clueless dolts to hurry because the race has already started. So, the race goes into the desert with Team Gimmick in first, followed by Jenna Lee and Elinore/Sparky neck and neck for second place. So, cut to Gimmick, Teddy and Grubby exchanging notes. The guise of this is that they need more coal to finish the race outright and that means stealing it from the Mudbulps...AGAIN! So we head to the entrance of the cave as Grubby wants no part of those Mudbulps. However; Gimmick has the obvious solution to this: Use the third crystal, which gives them the invisibility status, ala Final Fantasy VI. Grubby sees this as a good idea and offers to volunteer, because lobster courage everyone! Scene change to Grubby in front of the cave waiting for Gimmick to hit him with the beam of the third crystal. That sounds so wrong for some reason. Gimmick tells him to move a bit to right; Grubby doesn't. Gimmick uses the flashlight on the cup containing the "third" crystal and the beam hits Grubby and now he's slower than molasses. It also makes him look stupider than normal as well; so at least Gruffi Gummi can take solace that he merely went slower. Grubby -- despite his voice being slowed down completely -- basically says that he has slowed down. Teddy is panicking because the clouds are coming in and that means those "evil" Mudbulps will come out to kidnap Grubby...AGAIN! Teddy asks Gimmick to reverse the crystal and Gimmick does it by turning it 45 degrees to the right. Yeah; I'm not buying this anymore.

So, Gimmick shoots the beam to Grubby and Grubby is now a slower version of Sonic and his voice is faster than Sonic as he bails stage left. So yes, we finally discover that this is crystal #5. Teddy also gets nailed twice with the beam as Grubby magically has returned to normal for no reason. Teddy didn't talk fast sadly as then they decide to do the "maginfy glass" spot on an anthill, which causes it to grow big and the ant inside falls dead on top. WHAT THE HECK?! What was the point of that; other than to make the babyfaces look like sadists? So, Teddy and Gimmick exchange the fifth and third crystals as they have discovered the Haste and Slow status and we scene change as the trio goes into the cave invisible with the worst drawn footprints in history and then we fade to black. We return with them getting back onto the airship with the bags of coal as they put them in the airship and prepare the airship. The only thing of note here is the hypocrisy of Teddy claiming that they should not cheat because the rules say that they can only use what they made and they didn't make the crystals. Ummm; you didn't make the coal either. Plus; you already cheated by using the crystals to get by the Mudbulps! STUPID! And even stupider, when they leave, they are now shown; although Gimmick does beam himself back to normal on-screen, so it's only 2/3's stupid. Louie comes by to inform us that Team Gimmick is in the lead with no one in sight to compete with them as we end the segment nine minutes in with a repeat shot of the desert, only with the Airship shown. This has been all right thus far, outside of some stupid promo cutting from Teddy.

After the commercial break; we head back to the Mudbulp cave and welcome to probably the most pointless time wasting spot of all time. This was clearly designed to try to get the kids to laugh on how stupid this all is. The guise of this is: Everyone else assumes that Team Gimmick went into the Mudbulp cave because it is a part of the race, even though Louie never said to go into the Mudbulp cave during instructions. So, Team Wooly is now in second and trips over a rock with the skateboard and falls off-screen like a stupid idiot. So, the team tries to get their bearings and Fuzz notices Grubby's footprints. Wooly doesn't even know that the Octopede Sailors even exist since they were in Grundo as well. The continuity here is shot as well as they cannot determined weither there are three paths or one as Louie watches on as Team Wooly goes into the cave, followed by Team Nogburt, then Team Leota on the binocular shot, then Team Tweeg who is throwing broken handles and that nails Team Elinore in her giant Flintstones hamster wheel. She gets ramped as Tweeg not-apologizes again and Elinore blows her off. So basically; everyone except Team Grunges enters the cave and I'm not calling this. It's basically, ride, dodge Mudbulps, rinse, lather, repeat. Team Leota outsmarts the Mudbulps by going into a jail cell on purpose (much to Cemore's not liking this because he wants to fight! Leota knows best!) and then they simply go through the bars to escape. That was cute at least as we head outside and Team Grunge is smart enough to avoid the cave and overtakes second place. Then they have wind problems and the wind forces them to turn around the mountain pass. Louie proclaims that everyone is making mistakes; like the goofs during a monthly meeting of MAVO. Way to bury your number #1 heel organization there, show! More stupid time filler with the competitors dodging Mudbulps. And themselves. Wooly ramps it up and one of the Mudbulp does the log rolling spot on Elinore of course. This lead to the trainwreck spot as Tweeg basically proclaims that they will be on top. Guess what LB interperts that word and does?! Yup; time to stop! Mudbulp squashes Tweeg!

That was at least funny; but this took over FIVE minutes to set up. So, finally; Team Wooly comes out of the cave in third place followed by Team Nogburt, Team Leota, Team Tweeg and Team Elinore in last place. HAHA! The only other thing is that the Mudbulp is hanging onto the back of the chariot like a moron because the sun is out and he cannot stand sunlight, since that is the Mudbulp's major weakness. Mudbulp lets go and bonks into Elinore and the hamster wheel spins around; but doesn't crash outright. Tweeg taunts Elinore like a jerk and then drives into the next scene as the chariot bumps into a rock and Tweeg goes flying into the tree and lands in the mud. HAHA! The bounders are shocked that this happened, as if the moral guardians are somehow watching this show. Hee hee! Tweeg is angry and demands help from the bounders of course; but it's not muck, it's quicksand. Uh-oh! Tweeg panics and this is a perfect time for LB and the bounders to go into full-fledge heel/troll turn on Tweeg mode, which they have teased like eight times in this series already. Why? Because Tweeg is a horrible boss who treats his minions badly. Which is every heel boss on the planet. Elinore joins in and we get the most fitting song for jerks everywhere: Sinking Fast Into The Goo~! I cannot do this song justice, this was awesome. And they are doing this while Tweeg is in quicksand in such a fitting way to make Tweeg look like the deserving bully that he is. It would have been dead perfect if they didn't show footages of the other competitors racing in the meantime, not knowing this would happen. Tweeg of course is pleading for help during all this and selling the panic like crazy. The song ends with Elinore and Sparky getting back into the hamster wheel as the bounders do the Vinny laugh to complete the greatest troll move song in the entire show. Tweeg is angry about this; but LB finally calls him out for his mistreatment and Tweeg claims that he'll be nice and pay him. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Tweet! Elinore is shocked and appalled about this and decides that winning the race is more important than honestly and she bails stage left.

Then the Troll Nephews pop up from the bushes out of nowhere, so they were clearly written in by teleport. They grab Tweeg and pull him out of the quicksand, so LB doesn't have to get his feet dirty. Tweeg is done for good now as LB is not happy about this either because there goes his pay cheque, as if LB believes that Tweeg will pay him this time. Spoiler Alert: He doesn't. However; LB's Krackpotkin Plan is to claim that Tweeg cannot wait to see Quellor either -- causing Tweeg to be shocked and appalled --, because he has a fatal disease: Tweep's disease. Also known as Woofin Puffs Disease, if he coughs on you once, you die! Apparently; there is a vaccine for this thing; but since these heels are clearly anti-vaccine, they decide to let Tweeg go and bail stage right. Tweeg teases thanking LB for saving him and LB loves it; so Tweeg blows it off. HAHA! Saw that coming a mile away! So, we head back to the throne room of MAVO as Quellor cannot believe these Troll Nephews are so stupid. The nephews claim that it was difficult to be fooled by a fool and took a lot of training. The motto of most anti-vaccinators. So we head back to Gimmick Valley as Louie is shilling food and "Hug Your Wizard" buttons to a large number of eleves and wood sprites as once again, the crowd shots are really good in this one. So then; Louie hears rumbling and here come the competitors leaving a dust trail; which is an indication that the animators are out to lunch and covering up their weaknesses. I cannot blame them; considering the last episode. So, then we get a really stupid scene of Team Grunges regaining their speed onto Gimmick Valley from Bounder Pass. So, cut back to the finish line as Louie brings out the gold medal and we see Team Gimmick in first place, Team Wooly in second, Team Nogburt in third, Team Leota in fourth, Team Elinore in fifth and Team Tweeg in sixth. But wait; here comes Team Grunges as they make the super miracle comeback and win the first leg of the race. Team Nogburt is shut out of the medals...AGAIN! So, here are the official standings with the second leg of the GGGR:

[1.] Team Gimmick: 2 Gold, 3 Silver, 1 Bronze - 6 Medals.
[2.] Team Tweeg: 1 Gold, 1 Silver, 2 Bronze - 4 Medals.
[3.] Team Wooly: 1 Gold, 0 Silver, 2 Bronze - 3 Medals.
[4.] Team Grunges: 2 Gold, 0 Silver, 1 Bronze -3 Medal.
[5.] Team Leota: 2 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze - 2 Medals.
[6.] Team Nogburt: 0 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze - 0 Medals.
[7.] Team Elinore: 0 Gold, 0 Silver, 0 Bronze - 0 Medals.

Because Elinore quit Team Tweeg; this means that there is no chance for Tweeg to even tie the event, so this event is over and the second leg means nothing now since Gimmick doesn't lose the house. If you go by gold medals; though, there is a tie between Team Gimmick, Team Grunges and Leota, with Team Wooly and Team Tweeg still having once chance to tie. However; even if they tie, Team Gimmick still wins by having the most medals. Team Grunges and Team Leota can still win Wizardweek with a win, but this still means Gimmick beats Tweeg and Tweeg has to leave the valley forever. And Louie is making it like it's still anyone's race while showing a list of the names and showing no medals for anyone on the board. Louie should have just said: "The previous medals were just demonstration events. Tomorrow, the last leg of the race will determine who wins Wizardweek." Then; the last leg of this race will actually make the Tweeg/Gimmick feud mean something. Otherwise; it's just a race now as the episode ends at 19:12. The animation was much better here and the song near the end was the bee's knees; but the booking for this is no longer worth saving now. ** 1/4 (45%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Well; the idea of running the race as if you get a chance to get two gold medals is actually a way to try to create suspense and maybe get Tweeg back into this thing; but they had to do an angle to have Elinore quit the team and of course, Team Gimmick wins silver, basically killing any hope of Tweeg winning this event and effectively ending the feud with Gimmick. Which is all pointless since Tweeg won't adhere to stips anyway. The good news is that there is still a chance for Leota and the Grunges to win Wizardweek on the virture of them being tied in the gold medal race. However; it doesn't mean anything since the race was built around Team Gimmick VS Team Tweeg/Elinore and that has been decided basically. And Team Nogburt has been buried deep within the earth; with all their science and technology, they cannot even medal, let alone win a race! No wonder the Gutangs were so powerful against them. Illipers and Perloons are dumb! Overall; the animation was much better and Tweeg sinking in quicksand while the bounders trolled on him with a song is a thing of beauty; however, those are just parts of an otherwise messed up arc. Last up is the second leg of the GGGR and unless something great happens in that episode, this arc will be the worst one of the lot and it doesn't have the massive angle of Teddy reuniting with his father to save it. I'll deal with that one after E3. At least I can say that this show is much better than Electronic Art's press conference. So...

Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

 

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