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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: Octopede Sailors
Reviewed: 06/15/2019
The Water Is Still Too Wet For Me!
Well; it's time to finally bring the beginning of the end of the Teddy Ruxpin: Storybook series and dive into the real meat of this show. We now begin the dreaded Ying Zoo arc, which is pretty much considered the worst arc of the series. And this episode might be the worst one of the lot as the babyfaces meet with the Octopede sailors, Tweeg is punch drunk (pretty much for 90% of this entire arc) and LB is Quellor's slave. Plus; there are a lot of storms a brewing. How does this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...?
Episode opens with a shot at Leekee Lake as the Subwater Boat is being netted by the Airship. Once again; the audio track sounds like it was found in a dumpster and in this arc, it will ruin one of the most famous songs in this entire arc. More on that at the end of this arc. So, Gimmick, Teddy and Grubby are trying to get the Subwater Boat up; but the Subwater Boat is like a child who refuses to budge and so no go. Teddy helps Gimmick with the breaking of the surface tension of the water; but still no go. Grubby is on stove duty and wants to try something else while spraying air into the stove. Teddy finally concedes as Gimmick ponders this over and proclaims that the Airship will need a bigger bag and Teddy notices this would help with the lift of heavier things like the Subwater Boat, or Wooly for that matter. There's just one problem: They got to get home first and apparently, they cannot leave the Subwater Boat out of fear that the Hermit would steal it back, or something. Even though, it is really the Hermit's property. Trust me, this is a minor quibble compared to what is to come in this episode. Teddy ponders this over and decides to use some crystal power, which Gimmick and Grubby are confused. So, scene changer ensues and we see Teddy on the top of the Subwater Boat tying it to the Airship with rope. The guise of this is that the Subwater Boat is going to tow the Airship home. There's a massive logic break in this because there is literally no water area at Gimmick Valley, outside of Tweeg's water container. Gimmick thinks this is a great idea, as they will follow the coastline to Bounder Pass. Umm; isn't that a bad idea considering what happened in the first episode of this entire series?! Wow; it took less than two minutes for this episode to start tumbling. And then it gets worse: Scene change to Elinore's house and here comes Veggie Tweeg out of nowhere. Okay; as much as people say that Tweeg defeating himself with the Black Box was funny, Tweeg the Vegetable is not nearly as funny as Tweeg who fails at life. In fact; it's kind of sad since nothing Tweeg does here is Tweeg's fault and Tweeg being at fault for all his misdeeds while failing is what makes him funny.
Now; as bad as that sounds, the worst part of this is...HOW DID TWEEG GET OUT OF THE HARD TO FIND CITY?! There is NO WAY for Tweeg to get out of there, short of falling off the cliff, which would probably kill him. I hope they explain this later on, because if not; this is beyond stupid. Tweeg walks like a zombie and bonks into the door multiple times with his nose and falls down off-screen. Jump cut and pan over to Elinore sleeping in her bed. Thunderation as Elinore is doing the stereotypical beauty sleep gimmick complete with mask as there is a candle lit on the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!). Elinore takes off the mask and thinks that the King of the Mudbulps wanting her hand in marriage again. Considering that Mud Bulps can wear shades now, this is way too believable to be ture. Elinore walks out of the room down the hallway and admires herself in the mirror and adjusts her hair, claiming that she drives men wild. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Elinore wants down the stairs admitting that lumps of coal would do her good and then screams at the door like an old man screaming at a cloud; only there is a real "person" behind said door. Elinore opens the door and is so charming and cutting promos; and then she opens the eyes and she's instantly repulsed because it's Tweeg of course. That was in fact funny as we jump cut to Elinore taking a tea kettle off the stove and putting it on the table with Tweeg sitting down, unable to talk because he's a...you guessed it. Elinore is not thrilled at all, but decides to be "generous" and give him one cup of tea and then he's out of here because this is not a boarding house. If Tweeg wasn't a zombie, I don't think Tweeg would want to be there for one hour, let alone even one night. Elinore bails to find some used tea bags, which if it wasn't for the dirty minds out there, they would be used for making tea instead of something more horrible. Elinore hears some shattering and ripping; as she turns around and Tweeg is gone and the curtains (which looks too good for this house) are ripped. Elinore cannot believe this because Tweeg didn't pay for the tea. HAHA! Well; for the broken cups.
Scene change to the open seas and already we have a massive storm going on as the Subwater Boat and the Airship are caught in it. Wait, what?! At least in The Journey Home, they teased the storm when it was windy at Gimmick Valley. Here, no build up at all. Wow, this episode was literally written for a pay cheque now. Teddy is at the wheel yelling to Grubby if he's all right and they are because Gimmick and Grubby are literally tied up against the mast and it was Grubby's idea as he states that this is an old sailor's trick and he's also scared. And it's a storm with heavy winds, so I can understand Grubby being scared here. Then everyone notices a giant sailing ship in the far distance and is flickering a lamp indicating a distress signal that even Gimmick notices. I guess he has expertise on the seas as well as since it's the law of the sea, they must help the boat as they yell at Teddy to look at the sea and I cannot tell if Teddy heard that or noticed it, but he looks otherwise determined. I would think that friendship and Teddy's pure will would be the reason and not some mortal law; but what do I know about marine law anyway? Scene change back to MAVO Headquarters as we zoom in to a window with thunderclaps as LB is shown with a featherduster and an apron. Yes folks, LB is now in the exact same position that he was with Tweeg, only now he doesn't have any power to turn on Quellor without going to the dungeon. That is just peachy, and despite this being a heel move by Quellor, it doesn't do nearly enough to restore his heat back, since he has no heel heat left. LB complains for a while, and mocks Tweeg's brain power which he has none and it's not nearly as funny anymore. LB spits out the featherduster and has had enough, and hops from the war room, to the throne room with Quellor sitting on the throne while Trudge is with him for no reason. LB calls him Que-lore, that was funny as least; as Trudge blows him off and demands LB respect Quellor, which I don't see happening. LB calls him the Surpeme Swindler, which is like, so what?
Quellor demands answers to this outrage and proclaims that Tweeg was too stupid to double-cross him; but Quellor isn't and therefore LB can only get the honor of serving him as Trudge forces the featherduster into LB's mouth and that is that. Scene change back to the throne room as LB is dusting and generally mad at himself for being double-crossed by Quellor; although LB has to admit that he was right about Tweeg. HAHA! LB dusts some more on the throne chair, and when he dusts the right arm; a compartment opens and inside is the dreaded Black Box, causing LB to get the TOING sound. LB opens the Black Box and LB notices there are instructions in white cursive writing, that to erase memory, hit the button. To restore memory: reverse the crystal which the crystal is not cracked inside. Despite that, the audience has just found out that this is crystal #7 and while the trio doesn't know exactly what it does, the audience now knows. And this will play into the final two arcs of this series! So, despite all the bad stuff this episode has so far and upcoming, this was an important moment. LB takes the box and decides to bail MAVO to find Tweeg and then get his revenge on MAVO for disrespecting him. Literally one second later; Trudge grabs him by the horn and LB is done. Scene change to the war room with Quellor not impressed with LB's double-crossing as Quellor wants to dry-clean LB. Now; if I was booking this: Quellor would try to use the Black Box on LB; but LB dodges and Trudge gets hit and LB bails out of MAVO. That way, Quellor gets more of his heat back and it's not like Trudge getting hit would make it any worse. Nope! Trudge takes LB with him and throws LB out of MAVO, slams the door, and LB is all muddy. Wow; BS&P does rule the roost here. Yeah, this MAVO group is so awful. Scene change to the open seas as the wind and rain has been reduced as the AirShip with Subwater Boat rides in as the film quality is really showing it's age with all that hair on the top right of the screen. Grubby calls for an ahoy as we see a female Octopede in captain's gear calling back as Gimmick calls this strange. Bigot.
Grubby calls him out because they are just Octopedes, no big deal. Until he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and now is determined to save these Octopedes, even though they look like great sailors. That was funny. So, they all make it to the ship as the Captain and her three Octopede Sailors (One is wearing an orange rain coat which extends to the tail, blue rain hat and has a white beard. The second has a green raincoat with overalls under it, white mustache, blue rain hat with the attenne sticking through it and the hat is over the Octopede's eyes. The third one is wearing a navy blue coat with a navy hat, ribbon tied around the neck and wearing glasses.) put a plank bridge on opposite railings of each ship. The Captain has a pirate accent, although I can fully understand her either way. And Grubby notices her right away, addressing the annoyed Captain (because she doesn't know that it's Grubby) as Zelza. Zelza is confused wondering if she owes Grubby money, and Grubby claims that he owes her his life and Zelza slowly realizes that it is Grubby and they hug. Awww, my heart melted. Grubby then introduces Teddy and Gimmick. Teddy does his usual greeting without the handshake, with Gimmick acting informal, which is odd. Zelza then introduces the Octopede Sailors. The first mate written in by teleport with the orange rainhat and wearing glasses with green ribbon tied around her neck is Brenda, Thejy (The orange rain coat wearing one), Guy (French pronouncation, not English. Also, he's smoking a pipe that is not lit; so Grubby's old man is not the first one to smoke a pipe in this series), Droggie (The one with the hat over his eyes). Lastly, the navigator of the sea has beige hair, pink vest, pink ribbons around the neck, cyan blue raincoat is none other than Zina. Also of note which I didn't know until I watched this episode again: Zina is Zelza's daughter. Grubby is getting heart eyes in response, and Zina would love to talk about old times, but there is work to do. And Grubby backs off. Good; just as it should be.
Zelza walks back to her ship via the bridge basically admitting that they saved Grubby from certain death in a shipwreck and Grubby's appearance is Grubby repaying her a debt when he was grown up. Now, despite all the bad moments in this episode; this is not one of them. This might be Grubby's best moment so far. Teddy is surprised by this revealation and asks about the story; but agrees to back off if it's too personal. Grubby doesn't mind telling them, even if he doesn't bring it up much; but it was an important moment in his life. Well; near death truama can have the effect of wanting to repress it from someone's mind; but since he trusts Teddy and Gimmick; they have earned the right to HIT THE FLASHBACK~! We sailed from a dock of an unknown area as Grubby narrates that Octopedes are naturally inclined sailors and love the water. Well, usually. On this trip is the official debut of Grubby's mother and father (complete with smoke pipe) along with Liza (with brown hair and a green rainjacket and hat) who looks much younger and Grubby (wearing a cyan blue t-shirt in probably the only time he wore anyway) who also looks a lot younger. In this show's defense; at least they didn't stoop to what happened in The Day Teddy Met Grubby and used a different character design for Liza and Grubby; and not use the same one with the actor trying to do a higher voice. So, a storm comes out and Grubby claims that it was much worse than the one yesterday; although it looks similar to the storm they had today. So, yes; the family is trying to steer the ship; but the canvas on the sails is tearing like crazy and Daddy Octopede orders Grubby to keep on the tiller while he cuts the sail before it drags them under. Daddy gets thrown overboard hanging by the sail; causing Grubby to disobey orders (although in this case, it was a wise move on Grubby's part) and Grubby goes over and pulls Daddy into safety, saving his life. Then Daddy tells him to follow him and this is where Grubby should have gone back to the tiller because he obeyed him this time and got swamped by the water and dragged underwater as Daddy is screaming and that ends the segment nearly ten minutes in.
After the commerical break; we head back to the Airship with everyone on board as Teddy realizes why Grubby was so nervous sailing because there was a storm. Grubby isn't afraid of water per se, he was sailing into a storm over open water and was afraid to go overboard again! This makes perfect sense now. That's why he tied himself up to the mast. Teddy asks Grubby about the rest of the story and Grubby was clinging on life by treading water for days (or one day and he lost track of time; but doesn't matter); when Captain Zelza's ship arrives as Zelza notices Grubby and they save him from certain death. The Octopede Sailors sail to their own island and nurse Grubby back to health as they are in Zelza's home as suddenly; Grubby's family shows up and they hugged. Now; I know what you are thinking: How did Grubby meet Teddy? Well, the island village is a port somewhere in Rillonia, and they stayed there. Wow, wow, wow! Remember the Illiop Party where I was ranting and raving about them not explaining how Zelza met Illiana?! I take everything I said back! I was wrong. That now makes perfect sense. This is also what happens when you rant episodes out of order as well. So, Grubby's family knew all along about Teddy and Grubby's friendship. The only problem with this is: when Grubby reunites with his family at the end of the series; it was like they thought Grubby and his family were shocked to see themselves, even though they were living on the same island ever since the shipwreck incident. This also means Zelza doesn't live in that port villager either and neither do the sailors. That's fine, I can accept that. So, we return to reality (no, not really) as Teddy is happy this story had a happy ending. I do to, and I'm glad to see it because they proved me wrong and came up with a good explaination on how Grubby's family knew Teddy's mother. Sadly; it doesn't overcome the logic breaks in that episode, but it's one less logic break to hate. Grubby doesn't admit that he doesn't really care about swimming since the incident.
Not that he's afraid of water since he clearly isn't. Remember that his fear was sailing in a storm and being blown overboard again, which is a valid fear. Could happen to anyone in a storm. Grubby starts singing the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM and admits that he is not thrilled about swimming, because the water is too wet. And yes, this song is all about wishing that the wet weren't so wet! This is a stupid excuse, but I laughed until I cried. It was a really great dance number, which shows Octopede Sailors can dance and sing, which is a requirement in the world of Teddy Ruxpin. And Teddy Ruxpin Color Feet Syndrome strikes it's ugly head again. Also, it looks like the dancing is so awkward with the floor boards that they are literally ballerina dancing, but not trying to do that dance. Grubby also gets sprayed with water, effectively killing the gimmick. Again; he's not afraid of water per se, he just wishes that the water weren't so wet. And really; most people don't like being sprayed with water when they don't want to get sprayed with water. I can understand Grubby's situation here. And being dry helps keep me from having to spend another 65 days in the hospital again. Yes, that storm was a hurricane and they are now in the eye of the storm, why do you ask? And then the eye moves as Teddy and Grubby get splooshed to end the song. Thunderclaps ensue as Zelza takes charge of the situation because the back end of the hurricane is coming. So, Teddy is at the Subwater Boat towing both ships in the storm. Zelza is praising him and giving orders to the crew as Gimmick walks in wearing a raincoat with a hat and we get a really amusing moment as Zelza calls him Captain Gimmick and Gimmick claims that it's just Gimmick. Zelza don't care and praises him in order despite doing absolutely nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! Nice attention to detail with the water getting into his glasses. Zelza also wants Gimmick to teach her how to fly this Airship too. Scene change to LB at the door of Elinore's house as he's being rained on. That is symbolic of LB's luck over this episode, too. LB kicks the door as Elinore storms down stairs and threatens to spear Tweeg to death.
Yeah, color me not shocked as Elinore opens the door and tries to whack "Tweeg" with the wooden stick, but Tweeg is not there and LB is too short and too wet as he asks if he could come inside. Elinore actually complies without protesting actually. So we see Elinore at the table drinking tea with LB with a towel and a bucket of water on his feet (Oh...!) as LB likes the tea; even though a fresh bag would be better. Apparently, LB has already explained why Tweeg is acting like this as Elinore calls him duller than usual. LB explains that Quellor was shaking in his boots, which is a lie because Quellor wears none, and Quellor in the last episode was literally daring Tweeg to zap him, as if he knew Tweeg would defeat himself. LB, you are bad at burials of characters, except for Tweeg; but that's way too easy of a target. So, Tweeg's brain is char-boiled and Elinore is relieved because he never uses his brain right. So, what is the incentive to stop him? LB figures this out as: If he can cause this much damage with sense, how bad would it be if he could cause damage without them. Elinore panics and gets her purse as they must save Tweeg from himself...AGAIN! Of course! Scene change back to the open seas as it's calm again and everyone is on the Airship. Teddy and Grubby are pulling rope, Gimmick, Zelza and most of the other Octopedes are doing whatever and Thejy and Guy are playing guitar and something else I cannot id'ed; which is a clear giveaway to the second TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM, which is the infamous Octopede Shuffle as Grubby stops what he's doing and dances. The first song was extremely hilarious because it played into Grubby's wish that the water wasn't so wet. This song is merely okay and it was clearly out of nowhere and tacked on to pad the running time. This was also to give Brenda and Droggie a reason to do anything, other than talk since they are Grubby's leads in the dance. The song is weird; but doesn't help the scene any. Thejy's guitar has a seashell to attach the strings to as we dance some more. And the dumpster audio isn't helping this either. Guy and Thejy finally get their singing lines in explaining the dance which is pointless at this point. Oh; and Grubby just twerked during this. In 1987! Teddy's dancing of it is not good and Grubby nicely claims that he'll improve. Teddy then holds onto one note for way too long. We get a sky shot as the music slowly grinds to a halt to end the segment 16 and a quarter minutes in. So far, outside of some stupid logic breaks; this has been a decent episode actually. I don't know why some people hated this...
After the commerical break; we go to the Airship as Grubby is reflecting on something. Gimmick comes over to console him and Grubby claims that he's excited, but he's confused. See, Grubby has eyes for that cute Octopede girl Zina. I'm sure Zina is a woman by now; you sexist! I do not like where this is going. Gimmick then proclaims that he could tell him by using the Crystal Sethoscope. No, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not the lie detector angle~! I hate this angle! I'll explain why as we scene change to Gimmick and Zina. Zina hasn't spoke a word since introductions back in the first act I should point out. So, yes; the Crystal Sethoscope is a lie-dectator. First of all, lie-detectors are not reliable and in many areas, are not admissible in court for being totally unreliable and totally manipulated. So, Gimmick uses the CS and asks for Zina's name which is Zina. The needle doesn't move. Gimmick then asks the only question that matters: What does she think of Grubby? Zina's answer: He's all right, I haven't given it much thought. Which in any sane universe, would be a valid response since ZINA hasn't really shown any signs of her love for Grubby. So, the needle should be ture. Nope! It is false! Listen, you just made her look like a liar, even though there is no evidence that she was lying since lie-detectors are unreliable. It's also sexist because it implies that women lie; even though 99% of the time, they don't. Just like any human being, I will believe Zina until the end of time on her statement until the evidence (If Zina for example has a picture of Grubby on her wall in her bedroom, writes love letters to Grubby, shows public displays of affection to Grubby absent of anyone else, etc.) shows otherwise. This proves nothing and this invention is horrible! And Gimmick is horrible too since he takes the results cart-blanche. I hated this segment and it might be the worst segment of the episode at least. Jump cut to thunderclaps restarting as the storm is not done with this group of sailors. Everyone takes their positions as Teddy has upgraded his gear to sailor now when he gets onto the Subwater Boat.
Gimmick is confused by the amount of storms lately and Zelza points out that this is a hurricane. Apparently; this is a two eyed storm which I would love to say that this is just a Grundo thing, but with man-made climate change, I put nothing past that happening in the real world now. So, the struggle continues as Zina notices land; but it's clearly a reef. Way to bury Zina right there, guys. Zelza corrects her as Gimmick yells at Teddy to avoid the reef. Teddy tries to, but with two ship, the line is too loose in this weather and the Octopede ship strikes the reef. Zelza panics and demands Teddy finds land at once and Teddy tries to do his best, but the wheel is making funny noises that I cannot take seriously. Scene change to land and calm seas as everyone is just getting off rowboats at the shoreline. Teddy wonders where they are and Zelza has no idea at all. We get a far shot of the babyfaces and then pan up to see a raven furry in squire gear perched on a branch proclaiming that they are fresh specimens and that the sorcerer would love to hear about this. Now, I would have changed the title to wizard in order to create suspense for the next episode since if he said wizard than some could assume that it's the Wizard WeeGee (Spoiler Alert: It's not, although...). Nope; it's sorcerer, so everyone knows it's a new character right away. Dumb. The raven guard does the sideways snicker and that ends the episode at 19:12. This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, even with the lie-detector angle, but it wasn't good. Call it ** 1/2 (50%), because I feel generous today.
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the "worst episode" of the series, wasn't at all. Sure, the lie-detector angle was horrible. Tweeg suddenly being at Elinore's house made no sense at all. LB being thrown out of MAVO made no sense either and going to Bounder Pass made no sense at all either. The color stylist is out to lunch; but that's any Teddy Ruxpin episode. However; Grubby's origin story and his relation with the Octopede Sailor made perfect sense. Plus; Grubby is not afraid of water, he demonstrated that he's can take it many times in earlier episodes before this and even during the big dance number. He didn't want to be in another storm over the open seas because he got splooshed overboard. I would be scared too, but Grubby actually showed some naunce and took precautions, so it's clear that he has on some level gotten over it. It helps that he sailed the seas too. Second, in the flashback, it wasn't saving Daddy that caused the fear of being overboard, because Grubby himself intentionally disobeyed his father to save him. It was following Daddy that got him swept overboard and that's a case of sploosh happens. Storms are unpredictable; don't blame the victims for it. Yes, the "If The Water Weren't So Wet" dance number was stupid; but I laughed until I cried because Grubby doesn't like getting wet for no reason. Something a lot of human beings (not just children) would not blame Grubby for. But he didn't show much fear in the wetness of water anyway; more like annoyance. This is what happens when you allow simpletons to write their own reviews. I know the term "Enterbot" is an insult; but whomever wrote that review of this episode on Deviant Art is the definition of one. The term is defined as someone who parrots Mr. Enter instead of actually forming their own opinion. I've played Enterbot before: If you asked me what I thought about Love Loaf from Breadwinners, it's "What did Mr. Enter say? Because I argee with him on almost all of it." Who knows, maybe I would change my mind if I see the episode and I have no desire to watch Breadwinners at this time.
Now, if you formed your own opinion about it and there are similar opinions to Mr. Enter, then no, you are not an Enterbot. The Octopede Shuffle was just there in comparison. Also, I'm glad they showed Grubby reuniting with his family and staying in the port outside of Rillonia because if they didn't, I would have been right in being angry at the end of the series when Grubby's family reunites with Grubby and asking how they knew Illina. Thanks to this episode, it's obvious now and lopped off a big logic break in the process. Overall, this episode was a good episode marred by logic breaks and a bad lie-detector angle. That was it. It was not that horrible monster of an episode that someone claimed that it is, which is no surprise given that the grading system is from John Enter. Next up is the entire Land of Ying as we meet new villains, the most absurd zoo in history, a feud between two old men and a secret that might blow Teddy's mind out of the water. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.