Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: Wizard Land
Reviewed: 06/23/2019
Land of Oz This Isn't.
Well; it's time to finally bring the beginning of the end of the Teddy Ruxpin: Storybook series and dive into the real meat of this show. So, most of the babyfaces are captured and it's time for the worst family feud of all time: Ying Vs. WeeGee in who has the most useless, horrifying theme park competition of all time. Yeah; this is going to be brutal. How does this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...?
Episode opens with a sky shot of the road near a river like lake as we pan over to the Moor Mobile driving and towing the Airship; but not the Octopede's ship. So, they didn't take the Octopede ship despite not showing it in the last episode. What?! Anyhow; the Fred Cubed Squad is rowing the boat in the Airship as they talk about a pleasure cruise as apparently, Ying engages in false advertising. I guess "ply a trade" means kidnapping anthros for some sick entertainment. Then again, these Freds cannot read the fine print, or any print either. The Mr. Magoo look makes them look vision impaired, although considering how easy it took to kidnap Gimmick; it's probably because the Freds hate reading, or something among those lines. Pan over to the cockpit with the bird anthro second in command reading the gauges, so from now on until I get an official name, I'm calling the bird Sic. Sic opens the porthole and barks orders that he wants to go faster! FASTER! FASTER! FASTER~! This is to another bird anthro who is the same height as Fred, and wears basically the same uniforms as the Fred Cubed Squad. The bird guard anthro slides down a pole and finds a door that opens when the button on the side wall is pressed. Bird Guard Anthro walks into the room as we see Gimmick and all the Octopedes (minus Grubby of course) on what I can describe as a glorified make shift exercise machine that somehow makes the Moor Mobile move. I wondered why the exercise bicycle powered television set never caught on: We kids thought it promoted slavery. I'll give Ying this though: His motive are monsterous and clear; and it makes you want to see this guy fall to his death. At least Ying is acting like a monster heel would. WeeGee's acting like...something. Gimmick can barely keep up as the bird guard anthro sits down on the conveniently placed sofa and reads Hench magazine in the same way Peppa Pig characters read Ezza magazine. Zelza is confused and not pleased with the fact that this whole "go faster" thing is to go to the zoo. Bird guard anthro finally reveals to them that they are slaves to the zoo: The octopedes for a unique look, Gimmick for the physical comedy and Gimmick cannot handle this machine and BGA thinks it's funny. Sadly, it is funny; but him being a slave to the zoo is not funny at all. BGA laughs it up of course and we head back underwater with the Subwater Boat with Teddy and Grubby as Teddy opens the porthole and calls this place strange. Wrong!
This place is horrible so far and Grubby states that he saw this kind of place once...in a bad dream. When the cynical one has more of a clue then Teddy Ruxpin, you wonder why Teddy Ruxpin has haters? Something about a lack of nuance. Scene change to Teddy typing up the Subwater Boat. Then they bring out multiple bags as Teddy and Grubby are literally picking up flowers, for no reason whatsoever. There is red gas fumes everywhere and I thought this was a scene where they get knocked out; but nothing happens. I know this because the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM is on full blast. I just love Teddy saying that the land of Ying is not the place to go on a vacation. Spoiler Alert: LB and Buffy went on their honeymoon in the land of Ying and pretty much enjoyed it. Joke's on you, you bigoted Illiop! Also, apparently; Illana told Teddy about this awful place while evil sleeps. I wonder how much of Grundo Illana actually knows? Because it's heavily implied that she's being in Ying before, or was told how awful Ying is from someone. Whomever fed her information was not all that off at all, if this arc is any indication. The green bushes has a lot of slime on them as they then literally walk on the thorny ground like they are walking on hot coals barefoot. I don't think shoes would help you in this situation Grubby. So, they are singing and collecting items for a long while, basically forever. Also, about not going on a visit: Quellor goes visiting later in this arc. Again, joke's on you, bigoted Illiop. Basically, the horn like plants keep regenerating here as we continue the plant picking and more slime squeezes onto Grubby's body. So, the song ends with a thud as we scene change to the Subwater boat as all the plants they picked are inside the Subwater Boat now. Grubby looks at a mountain area and thinks Gimmick is there. Teddy has the same feeling and the babyfaces go into the Subwater Boat after Grubby unties the Subwater Boat. The Subwater Boat dives underwater and that is that. Scene change to near the Ying Zoo as we pan left to see Louie on his helicopter bicycle with a giant wooden box and sacks of tools tied to it from below. On the wooden box is WeeGee as we discover that the capital of Ying is called Quagmire. Hindsight 20/20 and lots of Family Guy episodes tell me a lot more about the sorcercer that is the definition of too much information.
So, after some useless banter, Louie lands the box opposite of the Ying Zoo and WeeGee basically admits that he's dishonest. Basically, he's Mr. Burns, but even younger than Mr. Burns. WeeGee claims that he'll do anything to make a buck and a half. And in this setup, he's the babyface. At least Phil Palmfeather was so wacky that I was laughing at him when he was a scummy lawyer in Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series. I do get that sense with WeeGee; as he's just a pathetic old man who wants all the dough, and thinks he's the good guy. By the way; they are calling it Wizard Park here, instead of Wizard Land. I hope they are planning a name change in between this because otherwise, this makes no sense. So scene change to Louie setting up his camera with no sound (literally Louie is using Hal Warren's camera, only making it look even wackier) as WeeGee has a shovel and he tries to shovel dirt for the shovel breaking ceremony which no one cares about, and gets splattered with dirt, or a soil monster shows up out of nowhere and Louie has to cut it short. We then fade to black barely five minutes in and the park is finished! Just like that. There was no montage, and furthermore; no evidence on who did the work so I assume that WeeGee and Louie did all the work. Which to be fair, would make them scrappy babyfaces and WeeGee look better in hindsight. However; remember thirty seconds ago that they were calling it Wizard Park? Nope; it's now called Wizard Land. For no reason whatsoever. They couldn't redub the characters to say "Wizard World". Before anyone says that the mouthflaps wouldn't match, it's not like most 1980's cartoons are 100% perfect with mouthflaps anyway. Second, barring that; why not just call the episode Wizard Park and the place Wizard Park. Why change it in midstream? Also, guess who is present for the opening of Wizard Land? Every cameo character from MAVO! How convenient, eh? WeeGee is giddy as he walks over and addresses the crowd. He uses the word death-defying here in case anyone thinks Ken Frosse is a fuddy-duddy. The new ride is called the Dizzy Wizard; which I doubt is more awesome than the Fundy Bowl at Atlantic Splash Adventure. So the monster loves this and they stampede into the park and now Wee Gee is flatter than a piece of paper as he proclaims that they will do a monsters' business. You don't say?! So, yeah; this is so far been a trainwreck and I fear it's going to get ever more gruesome.
So, scene change to Ellinore's house as LB kicks the door...again! Ellinore slams the door and LB's horn gets stuck in the door. LB claims that his foot is sore; so Elinore tells him to use his head. I would say LB would be concussed, but that horn seems to prevent most of the damage. LB claims that he has important information concerning Tweeg; so Elinore asks "important?" and then slams the door. HAHA! Finally, something to laugh about six minutes in. So, LB informs Elinore that Tweeg can "make" gold as Elinore comes to the door and acts all apologetic about it, like the scumbag monster mother that she is. So, we replay the scene where LB flung the golden bracelet to Quellor as everyone acts like Tweeg's wacky alchemcy had finally worked. Elinore realizes that they must find Tweeg, or they lose the formula for gold and Quellor gets all the gold. LB claims that you should never underestimate a mother's love, which he's just kidding because he laughs about it before following Elinore. So, Punch Drunk Tweeg is now in Ying and bounces into a conveniently placed giant palm tree. Wait; I thought this place was supposed to be gloomy? Oh; and they completely kill the gimmick by having Tweeg speak even though he didn't went he bonked into the door of MAVO Headquarters in the previous episode. And how he got into the land of Ying is a mystery to me, although it's still more believable than trying to leave the Hard To Find City. Oh; and here comes the Moor Mobile and despite being heels; they still stop in front of Tweeg by applying the brakes. Then the side door with platform opens and out comes SIC and BGA calling Tweeg out for sitting down. BGA decides "ahh, close enough to be unique, let's put him in the zoo" and they carry him into the Moor Mobile as the octopedes and Gimmick are sitting down in front of the machine looking tired. BGA and SIC bring Tweeg in as Tweeg is blowing off the place and Gimmick is shocked and appalled to see him. Gimmick runs over and Tweeg has no idea who he is before flopping on the floor. Gimmick is stunned by this as BGA explains that his brain is fried by Quellor and they get cases like this all the time; but they usually have to buy them, like slaves. Tweeg's a freebe to them. How awful, indeed?! Gimmick wants to examine him and the heels figured, "go ahead" and simply walk away stage left.
So, somehow; Gimmick has one of the crystals for the Crystal Sethoscope and uses it on Tweeg. This time the crystal glows; but there is no printout of any personality whatsoever. Zelza goes over to check Tweeg's brain and proclaims that they have basically wiped his brain clean, which even Gimmick has sympathy for. It's nice to know that someone thinks Tweeg The Vegetable is an unfunny angle and it's from Newton Gimmick of all people. Teddy on the other hand, this would be par for the course with him. Then Gimmick proclaims that it really doesn't make much of a difference and somehow this causes Tweeg's mouth to frown and smile at the same time. It's non-verbal cues like this that make me not completely hate this angle. Fade to black again as we head to the Ying Zoo with the Moor Mobile stopping just at the gate. The side door opens and everyone inside gets out as BGA claims that they have a sked to keep and Fred calls BGA out for lying. HAHA! BGA claims that it's supposed to be a threating situation, so any white lie will do. The Moor Mobile tries to go further; but the AirShip is ran aground and I betcha Gimmick is angry as he is going off on BGA and ordering BGA to order the other Freds to put the wheels down. So, Gimmick is all right with this slavery; but at least have some sense to put the wheels down if you want the Airship too. BGA, being a monster heel, has the "are you talking to me?" look; so Gimmick screams in BGA face and finally BGA sells it after one of the most awkward threats in the history of animation. Gimmick's stutter just makes this threat so laughable and it makes BGA look like a dork. BGA brings out the double red flags and signals to them to put the wheels down and the Freds all sell and put the wheels down. The Airship is pulled up and Gimmick says all better and leaves stage left as Fred #1 tells BGA to get some threatening lessons from Gimmick and BGA is confused. If I were BGA, I would have punched Fred in the mouth to get my heat back; or throw a rock at Gimmick from behind like Klang's scarb nailing Baloo and Katie Dodd from behind in From Whom The Bell Klangs three years later. I guess Ken Frosse's limits are still fuddy-duddy after all. Scene change to Ying's Tower as we head inside Ying's office as a troll named Spango (brown hair and green uniform) are exchanging notes on the zoo's recently lowered profits. I got an idea: Stop being a MAVO Member! I hear those dues are like murder, man!
So, we get an amusing spot of Spango playing spin the chair with Ying in it as Ying is now backwards and not facing the camera. In cames BGA and the Freds with all the slaves as Ying turns around and sees gold coins in his eyes of course because he's a horrible monster. Octopedes, a green Grunge and of course Gimmick. If Gimmick's skin was not white....oh boy, big trouble would be an understatement. Spango goes to the look out (complete with telescope) and points to something great. Ying comes over and notices the Airship being towed in as he calls it a land boat and Gimmick corrects him. Gimmick has the Gruffi pose on full blast and demands they be set free, including Tweeg. Ying blows it off and detests the word free and can barely speak it without being repulsed. He is the walking definition of a Republican, and Tweeg might as well be Donald Trump. BGA is going over the obvious cliches a mile a minute and Ying tells BGA to shut up because he gets the guise that Quellor zapped his brain. So, Ying declares Tweeg his star attraction known as the Troll Grunge With No Brain; which is far more accurate than Tweeg The Vegetable. In fact, to most monsters, this is par for the course when it comes to Tweeg even if he didn't get his mind zapped. I should also point out that the monsters are lying about Quellor zapping Tweeg's brain in an attempt to getting MAVO's heat back. It failed by the way. So, the octopedes will be workers for the brand new zoo and they will be sent to their cages as Gimmick proclaims that Ying will not break his spirit. Ying don't care about what the spirit does as along as the body does what he says to make money basically. Ying is really playing his monster heel role well, isn't he? Just demonizing everyone at this point. So, the babyfaces are forced to leave along with Tweeg as Tweeg is usually a follower when push comes to shove anyway. Scene change to underwater with the Subwater Boat as we cut to inside with Teddy and Grubby at a wooden table. Teddy is writing in his diary about the storm and the rescue mission as Grubby want Zina to be mentioned in the diary. Zina hasn't spoke at all, much less anything about Grubby at this point. I get the feeling Zina just wants to be friends with Grubby and nothing more at this point and this "Grubby has eyes for Zina" is getting annoying now. The Subwater Boat swims west to end the segment 12 minutes in. So far, nothing really special, but now it's going off a cliff...
After the commercial break; we see a shot of Wizard Land doing monster business and the Ying Zoo losing money even more as we head inside Ying's Office with Ying and Spango as Ying is complaining about his lost profits even more because he cut the admission price. Oh; that's why Nintendo isn't going to cut the price of the Switch then; and it will be a revision instead. Because it does nothing for your profits and in this case, no one likes the zoo anymore. Ying blames WeeGee for all this because he built Wizard Land which is stupid. I agree this is stupid; but for different reasons. Spango wants the afternoon off and Ying is annoyed and asks if it's because he has to pick scum off his daddy's farm, because his daddy is a lazy monster, you see. Only, it's not that this time, it's because he wants to go to Wizard Land. Wait; it's now called Wizard World?! What?! MAKE UP YOUR MIND ABOUT THIS~! UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH! It's even said Wizard World on the sign despite being Wizard Land earlier clear as day. Ying calls Spango a traitor, which is the gimmick of monsters and Ying goes to the telescope outside and blows off WeeGee for being greedy. It's projection on Ying's part, but it's true as well. Spango wants to leave before the prices change (read: go up, because WeeGee is greedy. And he's supposed to be a babyface in this angle). Ying threatens to do horrible things to him when Spango gets back and Spango has the most hilarious Stockholm Syndrome response you will ever hear. He enjoys the torment so much in this promo as he runs out. Ying gets the most used megaphone ever and calls WeeGee, Stinky. Oh; snap! This is embarrassing, in more ways than one. At least in A Fuel Dollars More, Louie and Baloo were best friends and capitalism tried hard to ruin that friendship and so I have sympathy for both of them. I have none whatsoever for WeeGee nor Ying. Ying at least doesn't want sympathy nor empathy because he's a bonafide scoiopath, that's his problem; but WeeGee comes off as an uncaring garbage person who cares more about money than even Ying does and basically pokes the bear to show off his toxic masculinity. Ying is called Bucky in response by WeeGee and Ying basically proclaims that he'll get his customers back, while acting like a manchild; which is out of character, even for him. So we head inside the Ying Zoo proper and it's time for the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM to waste even more time.
Okay, the song starts off all right as it gives an introduction to some of the monsters in cages, but not the octopedes, nor Gimmick, nor Tweeg for some reason. So, that's fine...until you see the monsters hear Ying singing and we get the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST RUN OF DEATH back to the Ying Zoo. Suddenly; you realize that this is a broadway version of WeeGee VS. Ying. That is so NO BUYS~! WeeGee comes down and starts singing about Wizard Land. So we have gone from Wizard Park, to Wizard Land, to Wizard World, back to Wizard Land. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! This angle is death! And he's singing about Wizard Land when clearly it says Wizard World on the sign. This angle is now super death! Monsters come back in a reverse FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST RUN OF DEATH now. Out comes Ying with the megaphone and he starts to sing over WeeGee's voice and now the monsters are complete slaves to two people at the same time instead of just one. This angle is now arc killing death! This goes on for way too long and we fade to black. We return with Spango nailing a nail into a sign showing off signs for the Octopedes, Gimmick the Great, and the Troll Grunge With No Brain. Tweeg's sign is so awesome and it's slanted just to accent the entirty of Tweeg in a nutshell. Considering how Tweeg exploits Gimmick and company for many episodes; this is so ironic and great to see Ying was on the pulse of this angle. The monsters are loving this and they run because they have no sense of shame and are complete psychopaths as they stampede and run over WeeGee and go to the zoo! Good, I'm glad Tweeg is in own way has killed this angle dead before it kills everyone else in it. The monsters look as Gimmick, the Octopedes and Tweeg are in their own cages, like animals in a zoo. Zelza is rightfully offended by this, Guy wants to beat up some monsters and Thejy has to restrain him. Guy in this episode has spoke more than Zina has and Grubby is the one who has eyes for her. Gimmick pleads for them to show some diginity and tries to get Tweeg's approval and Tweeg is silent because he has no brain. Guy rightfully blows this one off. WeeGee is on the megaphone doing the hard sell because he has more everything, including fun. Now; he should have noticed the signs and realize "Wait a minute! One of my own kind is caged us. This is no good!" and protested this outrage. Nope; he don't care at all. Not at all!
This angle has killed any goodness coming from WeeGee and to think, we have to put up with him on full blast in the next arc! The monsters run back to Wizard Land/Wizard World/Wizard Park/I Hate This Wizardland Angle....UGH! I give up, thank goodness they faded to black here. So, we head to the dock of Quagmire as Teddy and Grubby have arrived via the Subwater Boat. Teddy decides to look for the lantern in this blue duffel bag, which has come out of nowhere, and looks completely out of place. Wow, this episode was rushed like nothing else. Suddenly, three overdressed gang members (which basically applies to all MAVO Members, but this is a special monsters version of a gang) who appeared in the far shots walk in and one of them kicks Grubby in the stomach and Grubby bonks into a pier post by the purple skinned thug, while Teddy gets shoved down by the orange skinned thug and the lantern falls into the water. Teddy looks at the water in disgust and then gets up and blows them off for their thugish actions. The third thug is yellow skinned wearing green overalls. I guess they are the Quagmire Nephews and appear to be more useful than the Troll Nephews. So, the gang is called the Quagmire Creeps as the white haired, orange skinned dude is known Ridnick Skinpeeler, whom I guess peels skin with his red comb which is on his troll creep. The yellow skinned one proclaims that this is their turf, you see; so don't play with them. I believe they are voiced by the same people who voiced the Surf Grunges. Grubby of course, looks turf with roots on them and Teddy points out that Grubby is using turf in the wrong context. I guess surf and turf is not on the Ying menu either. The surf Grunges menu on the other hand...Then we get the funniest moment of all time, and sadly for all the wrong reasons: Ridnick asks who they are and Grubby calls himself an Octopede and Teddy's an Illiop. The thugs all get scared and run away to hide in the bushes as Ridnick proclaims that her mother told them that Illiops will get him. So I'm guessing GOUL is Ridnick's mother, or adopted mother at least, because this kind of gaslighting would be her doing. Teddy and Grubby are rightfully confused. Normally; when monsters hear Illiop when it comes to Teddy, they want to kill him, not run away from him. Teddy asks the question: "What's so scary about an Illiop?". Answer: Your ideology has no nuance!
So, Teddy notices that the lantern is gone, so basically after Grubby said that they need all the crystals to win, they pretty much assure that Teddy will not use any of them. However; Teddy has a Krackpotkin Plan and we scene change to see that Teddy and Grubby have disguised themselves as monsters using all the plant material they gathered earlier in the episode. Of course! Grubby isn't thrilled by this because someone might know might see him and laugh. Too late, dood! Teddy is certain no one will see him and laugh and he's wrong of course, because we have no sense of shame. So, they basically walk past the monsters without incident, outside of being called weird and all that stuff. If this doesn't make the monsters look even dumber, I don't know what could. After all, they tried heel disguises on babyfaces two arcs from now and only Wooly fell for it. So Teddy and Grubby finally make it to the Ying Zoo gate as Grubby is still worried about Zina. He's worried about Zina; but doesn't seem concerned about Gimmick nor Zelza, the captain responsible for saving his life...among others. Oh and let's end the episode at 19:12 with another huge logic break: Remember the signs of the attractions for the Ying Zoo earlier? They are now combined into one vertical line just like that! I shake my head as the babyfaces are shocked and appalled complete with TOING sound. Wow, just wow. This episode was death and the worst episode of the series at 1/4* (5%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well, this episode has gone off a cliff in a big way this time around. The whole WeeGee VS. Ying angle was really bad and it served literally no purpose other than to kill time and flesh out WeeGee, which made him look a lot worse than he already was. The episode was really rushed as they couldn't decide on a name for a theme park and kept messing it up everytime. I really don't care if WeeGee is a brother to Ying, he was a greedy monster facing another greedy monster and WeeGee is the babyface and Ying at least was supposed to be the greedy monster of this setup. Absolutely no heat and the fact that WeeGee completely ignored the fact that one of his kind was caged made him look even worse and it makes Wizardweek look even worse in hindsight. Although that one can be blamed on me for ranting on the episodes out of order. They also killed Tweeg's gimmick of this arc by having him speak and it is still not funny either. When Elinore says a funny thing, you know this episode was absolute death. There were logic breaks all over the place and I'm no longer digging Zina/Grubby anymore because it's clear Zina was telling the truth about her relationship with Grubby all this time since Zina never spoke once in this episode and pretty much hasn't spoke since the lie detector angle. Overall; this was an absolute mess and really the worst episode of the series bar none. Thankfully; the plot is supposed to pick up now that Teddy and Grubby have made it to Ying, but considering this episode; I might be asking for too much at this point. So...
Thumbs way down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.