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The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin: MAVO Costume Ball
Reviewed: 08/06/2019
The Moment You Realize That This Show Was Selling Toys!
Well; it's time to finally bring the beginning of the end of the Teddy Ruxpin: Storybook series and dive into the real meat of this show. Well, this is it; for rant purposes, the final episode of this series and with that title name alone, this is not even getting off to a good start as LB wants a costume ball, Quellor wants his SO back, Teddy wants the crystals and everyone wants to project the haters onto Teddy. Lovely! How does this episode fare? So; let's rant on shall we...?
Episode opens with a southern pan shot from MAVO Headquarters in a windy storms that destroys plant life within seconds. Jump cut to Teddy slowly walking in the windy storm hoping that nothing bad has happened to his friends, and he is in for a nasty surprise. Evidence #1: Three fobs come in and they are mean as mean can get, they claim that they are sick of Teddy Ruxpin in general and hope his face gets torn apart before hopping away. Teddy realizes that this is what Quellor was talking about when he said that his friends would literally turn on him. So, we head back to the AirShip as everyone is literally turning into a stereotype of their gimmick and bad mouthing each other. Grubby claims that Wooly is easy when it comes to cheap shotting him. Normally, I would be in the mood to be as annoying as humanly possible since this is the last episode, but there is lots of stupidity in this episode that it alone will make this episode rant annoying enough as it is. Head back to MAVO headquarters and inside the war room as the monsters are making a mess and tripping each other for laugh. Yawn; not impressed. If they start killing each other, then at least I would know there was an actual hate plague. LB is in the middle as the Troll Nephews arrive to ask what LB wants. One of the monsters is literally getting racked in the process. LB doesn't like the mood at all, and he had the floors waxed with newspapers so throwing someone in the dungeon is out. So, LB has an idea: Have a costume party. Okay; I realize that it's LB and he isn't gaslit to go after Illiops. However, the story of this show was that GUOL wanted darkness to sweep the land so it would make every babyface turn on Teddy. GUOL gaslit everyone into believing that the Illiops were actively trying to destroy them (which was the Big Lie of Death), and they needed the crystals to "stop" the Illiops from their "reign of terror". Now they have the crystals, darkness sweeps the land. If you take the gaslighting to it's proper conclusion, the monsters should be trying to kill every Illiop they find so they can have their peace as per. Or even ruin their lives (although Teddy's friends have turned on them, so to a certain extent, I guess that was the plan). Instead, they are going to have a costume ball and do not care about ruining the babyfaces anymore.
People have criticized shows like Rescue Rangers, TaleSpin, Darkwing Duck and Gummi Bears for using the same plot for their pilot episode: Use a laser beam to rob banks. At least those shows show the heels doing monster heel stuff. And in TaleSpin's case; Don Karnage had a Lightning Gun that not only he could use to rob banks, but to destroy aircraft and murder people with it, if he so choose. If Kit hadn't pushed Don Karnage's personal buttons, Kit would have been fried with the Lightning Gun, not dropped from a great height. Not in this show! Oh, no! The monsters did all this just to have a costume party, even though no one cared about them having any party until Tweeg stole Teddy's property. Oh, and we are not done with this complete burial of MAVO just yet. Just wait until Elinore shows up; then it's gets really stupid. In comes Tweeg and he takes a pie in the face for good measure as LB sees the perfect guy to deliver the invitations. The Troll Nephews laugh at his expense. At least one bottle of alcohol was shattered off-screen as LB motions to Tweeg for an extra special assignment and this at least was funny because we all knew that Tweeg is going to be so disappointed in his assignment, but seeing Tweeg having dellusions of grander will never cease to be funny. And then Tweeg leaves MAVO headquarters whining and protesting this outrage. LB is the best babyface ever now. Tweeg is walking with a mailer's cap and bag of invitations as hiding in the foreground is Quellor with Tweezle, his pet bat. Quellor has to assure Tweezle that Tweeg won't even see him, because it's Tweeg after all. Tweezle finally flies and after some more complaining and whining, Tweezle swoops down and steals the invitation and flies back to Quellor just like that. Way too little and way too late for Quellor. Quellor reads the invitation and calls this the perfect time to strike and regain control of MAVO. Yeah, I'll bet. Quellor laughs as thunderclaps ensue and so we return to the Airship and finally Teddy returns. You know what, considering that he lost the crystals and couldn't get the Hermit back, I would be angry at him for being so reckless and irresponsible (and showing toxic masulicinity) for not calling for backup when he most needed it. And thankfully, in their own selfish way (due to the hate plague) they call him out on it. This goes under the "It's not nice, but it's accurate" category.
Teddy asks for Gimmick's advice and Gimmick don't care as he is fixing stuff. The problem with the hate plague is, while it turns the babyfaces mean, it only turns them into jerks and they don't go all the way with it. So, everything comes off as the babyfaces merely saying what has been on their minds behind Teddy's back all along. Basically turning into true stereotypes of themselves instead of becoming monsters outright, which the later would give Teddy a real challenge and incentive to get the crystals back ASAP. Believe it or not; this is the lightest strike against this episode and this arc in general! Gimmick claims he's sorry; but he's not since he didn't use the right choice of words. Wooly protests this outrage, probably the only one who even cares about this, besides Teddy and for less obvious reasons. Teddy tries to reason with them and the non-Illiop babyface tell him to shut up. This hate plague is so apporo of the haters of Teddy Ruxpin in general that it at least amuses me on that level. So, we head to Ellinore's house and inside as the Hermit's chaining up scheme has changed completely as he's chained up near the kitchen. Ellinore is making swamp stew and calls it so divine as Hermit hates it. Kit might like it, as long as no seafood is involved. The spoon burns to ashes as too much mushroom scum is involved, I guess. Jump cut to Tweeg going up the steps with the sack of invitations as he's complaining and he decides to put the invitation on the door step. The second after he does that, Ellinore has opened the door and Tweeg is stammering like Baloo after taunting Rebecca about her shopping habits in It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck. Oh, how I laughed. Ellinore blows off Tweeg and Tweeg claims that she's in a good mood. Also funny as Ellinore is happy now to look at the invitation. Also a note that I sort of glossed over during this scene: Ellinore wants LB to zap the Hermit with the Black Box again, even though the Hermit has no memories worth stealing, and sell him to the Ying Zoo. Might as well say...again. Ellinore wonders what to wear and Tweeg has the perfect costume: a muzzle and a leash, implying that she's a dog. OUCH! Ellinore rightfully slams the door on him. Sadly, this costume would have not been the dumbest one ever. The most vile one; but not the dumbest. Tweeg's nose is brusied and Tweeg storms off proclaiming that she will never get a Mother's Day present at all. I just love that Ellinore is literally stirring a pot filled with flames in the next shot.
I also glossed over that the first scene showing the Hermit had the color of his hair wrong, which has been fixed in later shots as Ellinore is so giddy to find someone for a date, so she orders Sparky to take care of the Hermit while she is gone. Sparky also speaks for the first time I do believe as Sparky slides and hits Ellinore's foot as I discover that the stew is a goolash and Sparky must not eat it since she's saying it for a rainy day. Sparky: For garbage day? Okay, I almost died when I heard that. Sparky gets nailed with the spoon as Ellinore claims that the Mudbulp King loves the goolash. Now, I think this would mean that the Mudbulp King would appear; but I don't recall that happening. Personally, this episode would have been perfect to reveal all the monsters appearing from the series, like all the babyfaces appearing for LB's wedding with Buffy in the Reunion Arc. Alas, these writers do not know what they are doing here and I betcha that doesn't happen. And that's not the stupidest thing about this episode. Sparky is threatening the Hermit; causing the Hermit to climb the walls and losing the white color of his hair and eyebrows again as Ellinore doesn't want to be a grunge because that reminds him of Tweeg's father and she hates Elroy. That's dumb enough as she gets her inspiration and now this! This is the single, STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard in this series! This is what I call the "Toilet Golf" moment: Ellinore is going to dress up as an Illiop! Yes, an Illiop! The very creature that monsters were gaslit to destroy and ruin because they thought Illiops ruin them. They are more obessed about Illiops than Illiops are! Geez, can you lack anymore self-awareness than you already have. At least Caron had the excuse of being ten years old. At least Petty Williams did the Scott Steiner dress up thing in order to play mind games and get under Scott Steiner's skin. Yes, that is the biggest mistake you can make, ask Buff Bagwell about it. Ellinore claims that she'll be the hit of the ball. Well, I never felt sorry about Ellinore anyway, so if she dies, Grundo will be a far better place. And Tweeg would probably be relieved of his Stockholm Syndrome to boot. So, back in the evil world of Grundo with Wooly and Leota talking and Leota orders him not to use double negatives. Wooly doesn't talk back at her anyway and Leota is acting like Damien Sandow on speed, and Leota cannot pull it off like Sandow could. Wooly also didn't say please either, which is a valid point.
Wooly then tells her to pleasure herself basically (codeword: Pick on someone you're own size. That's projection Wolly!) and walks off. Leota follows her and apologizes, which kind of kills the gimmick because at least her excuse is that the trees are dying. That I can understand at least. So, the Woodsprite Delegation comes in (all three of them) and one of them blames Wooly for stomping on the roots and then the other Woodsprites blame the other Woodsprites. Wait, so only one of them thinks Wooly is a monster? I find that hard to believe, although I shouldn't put anything past the hate plague; but the hate plague has only turned them into jerks. Wooly informs them that Teddy knows what is going on and Leota sounds like she's almost ready to blame Teddy for all this and they fly off to find him. Cut back to the Airship as Teddy and Gimmick have somehow finished some makeshift window covers shaped like the windows for MAVO Headquarters as Gimmick continues to act like a complete jerk by blowing off Teddy's rushing into a job. Gimmick has a point since Teddy is supposely contradicting the "Take Your Time". Problem is; one of the lines clearly states: Don't hurry up unless you got a good reason. This is a perfect moment to prove that line to be true, even if Teddy is going to suffer the consequences. Grubby is still eating like crazy and always listens to his mother, which Gimmick blows off as he and Teddy takes the coverings and head onto the AirShip. Grubby and Gimmick get on board as the Airship air bag has changed colors considerably with the attitudes. Teddy is at the front as the Airship takes off and even Teddy is worried that he cannot keep this working together up for much longer before they turn on him to end the segment nine minutes in. This is just a dumb episode with some funny parts mixed in and is still a mess.
After the commercial break; we head to MAVO Headquarters on a sky shot with Tweeg being the keeper of the gate, because goodness knows this is somehow an improvement from mail troll. Okay, this part was awesome and even this show shows that male on female contact is still allowed: Buffy is in the front and shows off her invitation. She asks if the food is good. Tweeg says yes and then kicks Buffy in the rear end into headquarters. He truly has no scruples, he just fails at life as a heel. Tweeg also makes a joke about rolls as Buffy literally rolls away and does a bowling pin spot off-screen judging by the sound effect. GUOL enters and it took me a while to figure out what she was dressed as, it was a bounder, who is the Supreme Oppressor. So, yes; she doesn't care about being the leader of MAVO as long as darkness sweeps the land. Tweeg of course, makes her look like a fool with the old black eye after seeing through a joke telescope spot. This is in part why I'm not as annoying in this rant than usual: Tweeg is doing the job for me. In comes Elinore and despite this being the Toilet Golf moment for the series, at least she's smart enough to not put the mask on right away and show Tweeg that she's not really an Illiop. Not that it matters because Tweeg is getting his money's worthg being the keeper of the gate (and pretty much burying poor Iggly in the process) and invokes the JOYBUZZER HANDSHAKE OF DEATH on his own mother. HAHA! Even funnier, Ellinore praises him for being a total creep as she puts the mask on and goes inside. I still think this is the single stupidest idea in the entire series. So, we head to the war room as everyone is doing nothing. Oh wait, Buffy and LB are exchanging pleasure thoughts for my pleasure. Oh, and MAVO has a inhouse band just for LB to tell them to play the bounder ballard: "Rotton Heart, Ugly Face". Hey; it's an improvement from the MAVO song, that is for sure. You get the feeling that LB is going all out of his way to make sure Teddy Ruxpin succeeds in getting the crystals back. So, TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues with lots of ugly dancing and ugly lyrics. This is the greatest heel song in history, coupled with the worst dancing in heel history. Although I blame that on the animation more than I do with the monsters. Then we get the dream sequence of LB in a house at the kitchen table reading a newspaper and out comes Buffy with her mouth drenched in some substance that I have no idea what it is.
Next sequence: Buffy and LB are fishing in the river using their feet to secure their fishing rods. LB gives Buffy a conveniently placed out of nowhere bucket. Buffy fishes an apple out which out comes a worm which pops into a conveniently placed snake in the grass who eats said worm. LB stomps on the snake and it pops the worm from it's mouth and into the river. And we return to reality (no, not really). What? Shouldn't the payoff be all the fish jump into the bucket to complete the cycle of life? Oh who cares, I love this song anyway. I should also note that the entire band used changes monster spieces literally from shot to shot and the animation looks extremely robotic. LB kicks his legs complete with Flintstone sound effects to end the song. Why does Buffy tease being in tears in this song is also a mystery; but I like the song so it works out well. Scene change to the kitchen of Elinore's house as the Hermit is sitting down chained up as we pan over to see Sparky with his doggie bowl containing a bone and complaining about how unfair it is that he cannot go to the costume ball. Yeah; it's not like they have the scruples to say that no dog dragon cyclops is allowed or anything. Sparky pounds the bowl and the bone bops Sparky in the noggin and Hermit giggles under his breath as the bone bounces away stage left. Whatever. So Sparky basically says "Nuts to this"; and proclaims that he's going to the costume ball and Hermit can guard himself. And Hermit is not allowed to touch the goolash as Sparky storms out of the kitchen. So, Hermit finds the longest wooden spoon on the conveniently placed wall (which is why he should have been fully chained up) and tries to reach over the stove for the cleaver on another wall above the stove, but his elbow knocks over the pot and the goolash spills onto the floor and it completely destroys a section of wooden floor underneath. This goolash is so strong that he melts through the chains and Hermit is free. Hermit decides to return to MAVO Headquarters to save Teddy as we scene change to the Airship landing in the same spot for no good reason. Grubby blows off Teddy as being a drag, Teddy was not amused by this as we scene change to the windows as Teddy and Gimmick put the window shades on the window. Teddy's Krackpotkin plan is to cover the windows with shades as a distraction, while Leota and the Woodsprites would go in and get the crystals and put them in bag and go out without being seen.
That was supposed to be the plan; but since everyone is now a stereotype and a jerk, this plan is going to go up in flames. Evidence #1: Grubby doesn't see the point and they are shouting way too loud. Grubby even does the Winnie The Pooh stuck in a doorway spot with the window and it takes forever to get him out. And Wooly is not amused to be the one to pull him out as the Woodsprites come in as well. Teddy is trying to get everyone to work together and everyone pretty much turns on him completely. In hindsight, Grubby punching Teddy in the face would have been a good idea here so that Teddy gets the hint that if he wants something right, he has to do it himself. It doesn't happen as Teddy finally changes the plan and goes inside and he's angry, so basically, the hate plague is starting to affect him as well. Teddy's orders: Stay out of trouble! So we head inside and guess who is guarding the war room door. Come on; guess, it's too shocking! Surprise it's...Iggly?! WHAT?! So, LB has pardoned Iggly for real? Personally, I'm fine with that; but it would have been better if we saw LB pardon Iggly earlier in the previous episode. And apparently; the animators forgot to fill the room with monsters on the pan shot. So, we are fifteen minutes in and Teddy's entire idealogy has blown up in his face. He has no one left to make his plan work. So, what is the new plan? Just run in...Iggly thinks it's an Illiop; so Teddy changes his voice a bit and claims that he's a monster in an Illiop costume and Iggly completely falls for it like an idiot. I would think that the "It was on sale" thing would have made him reconsider; it doesn't. Teddy then just jumps onto the table in the middle of the war room right in front of LB and Buffy...
Teddy: Hi, my name is Teddy Ruxpin! Can you and I be friends?!
Yes folks, the facade is gone, the mask has been lifted! After nearly 60 episodes, the show finally admits that they were using the show to sell the Teddy Ruxpin doll. I shake my head in disbelief because this would have been pointless since only the most non-self aware would have been shocked and appalled of this. Anyhow; Kit did a much better job in getting the element of surprise on Don Karnage in Plunder and Lightning Part 1 and even Part 4. And then the gaslightning finally takes over as all the monsters, except for Buffy and LB because Teddy has grabbed them like he's using them as a bargining chip, which never works on real heels by the way. And now they want to beat Teddy Ruxpin up. Trudge is still clueless as usual. Teddy bails; the monsters have a meeting of the minds and a burial tomb while Buffy and LB do nothing, because they don't hate Teddy, even though they are clearly bystanders in this. Second meeting of the minds between Sludge and the grey troll from Fugitves as Teddy didn't even have to move and they still missed him. Teddy sees one of the crystals on the wall and goes to the wall; and then raspberries Trudge the clueless one and he comes over to Teddy and Teddy doesn't even move and Trudge overshoots him by ten feets, nails the wall so hard that one of the crystals falls down as Drudge grabs Teddy and the crystal weakly bonks Drudge's noggin, but completely knocks him out as thunderclaps ensue. And yes, that is it for the hate plague as the crystal flies stage left, Teddy panics, and grabs the crystal anyway. So, Teddy hopes this is enough, so yes; one Illiop defeated thirty MAVO members with ease. This is officially a complete burial of MAVO. And who is responsible for the burial? LB, DUH! So, we get a long sequence of the sun coming back, plants and animals reviving and co-mingling with each other as all the babyfaces are now no longer acting like jerks and stereotypes. Wooly arrives and the next part of the plan is to make a lot of noise. Scene change to Leota flying and stopping as she gets bumped from behind by her delegation as she blows them off for flying and then proclaims that they must go back to MAVO Headquarters to get the crystals back and they all fly in the opposite direction. Then we head back to the war room and get the most symbolic burial of Teddy Ruxpin in history. I was sobbing with laughter when I first saw this: Okay, all of MAVO is on the table stacked up like cord wood. That's funny enough.
However; at 17:52 of the video...Now; I think it was supposed to be Elinore there in the pile; but someone forgot to inform them that Elinore was an Illiop who wore no clothes. So, they used Teddy Ruxpin's model with clothes and animated him into the pile. You can tell the mistake by looking at the red cloth on his shoulders. It is so beyond comical and the artwork makes them all look like dead animals. Just a trainwreck of a moment from the artists there. You know who wasn't buried? GUOL! GUOL pulls off the mask of Ellinore as they use the correct model on the next shot and it's Ellinore and she's just pulling a prank, so she's confused. Outside, Gimmick, Grubby and Wooly are playing on a wooden tub, washboard and cymbals in a shout out to the Nogbert arc which would have made more sense if Arin and Aruzia were here and they never made another appearance until LB's wedding. GOUL feels nothing is out of place and everyone is safe, so let's dance and play the worst music in history. On second thought, they should have played the MAVO song here, at least that song was good. This music is so Z-grade it isn't funny. In comes Leota and the Woodsprite delegation with a leather bag and they fly around, loosen the crystals on the stone ring and put the crystals into the bag. Only two were shown, I assume they took the seventh crystal as well since we would see it with Teddy in the next episode after this which was the first rant in this series that I ranted on. Scene change to a meadow as the Airship is there along with Teddy, Grubby and Gimmick. The Woodsprites return with the bag, Teddy grabs the bag and thanks them. Gimmick wants to depart now before MAVO finds out that they have been had. Wooly is there too as Teddy actually teases going to the ship; but then notices the Hermit walking on the bridge towards MAVO Headquarters, because we have to tie up some loose ends on the babyface side. Teddy rushes east to cut him off as we head to the throne room as Quellor rushes in and opens the right arm of the throne chair to reveal the Black Box as he is about to reclaim his stake as Surpeme Oppressor and his laughing segues into the war room as he shows up cackling like crazy. I don't know why since Quellor as Surpeme Oppressor is still worse than LB being SO. LB hops over and declare Quellor the winner of the MAVO Costume Ball for funniest costume. Quellor awards him first dibs in line for the dungeon as his eyes glow yellow. Uh-oh!
All the monsters panic, LB stammers and tries to run out. Quellor kicks LB in the rear end and LB goes flying through the window, breaking it and sunlight goes out. Oh; and after the joybuzzer incident with Ellinore, we never saw Tweeg again. He was written out by teleport and probably went home, making him the smartest heel in all of Grundo once again. Let me rephrase that: The one guy who fails at life outsmarted every heel in MAVO in this episode! Quellor has a headache, GUOL is whining about the crystals which should be the least of her worries and that's pretty much it for MAVO. Quellor and the Troll Nephews were the only ones who surivived after this episode was over. I thought of including Miss Maggotheart to the list, but she was never mentioned by name, although when Tweeg heard dues collector, he assumed it was Maggotheart, so I believed it was. So we head back to the AirShip as Hermit and Teddy simply walk back towards the AirShip while ribbing each other for rescuing each other. No suspense whatsoever and very anti-climatic after all of this hate plaguing. Hermit talks about courage and caring and Grubby makes a fat joke that no one should laugh, but they did and that ends the episode and for rant purposes, the series at 19:42. Wow, they really ran out of steam in this one and messed up everything they tried here. At least much of it was stupid funny, then just stupid, so call it ** (40%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this was another mess of an episode as BS&P was way into the pie of this episode. To the point where they literally had to get Teddy Ruxpin into the war room and make him look like a guy who doesn't cherish his own life in order for the gaslighting to work instead of MAVO being proactive from the start and ruining Illiop lives. I blame LB for most of this; as I expected, without him, Teddy loses everything and probably dies with the hate plague overwhelming everyone. I wasn't impressed with the hate plague; but at least it wasn't completely a write-off as it did enough of a job to run interference on Teddy's plans if nothing else. There were logic breaks out of the wazoo, some hilarious artwork errors, and the animation was robotic in places. Despite all this; this was far from the worst episode in the series because Ellinore dressing as an Illiop was so stupid it was funny in a Toilet Golf sort of way, the Z-grade MAVO band was hilarious, LB's song to Buffy was funny and Tweeg was really good here and he outsmarted everyone yet again, and completely buried MAVO in the process. And Tweeg joybuzzing his mother was glorious. Overall; a below average episode that would have been worse if none of what they did entertained me.
So, that's it for The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin and I'm not going to bother with the final summary because I did write one for the last episode of the series (the fifth one I ranted on). Final tally: 15 Thumbs Up, 16 Thumbs Down, 34 Thumbs In the Middle. Personally, I would have enjoyed this more if it wasn't an episodic culture writing this because it's clear how off the series looks when you try to produce the episodes out of order and ranting them out of order doesn't help either. I actually look forward to the new Jim Henson version of this show coming up in the future and even if it is for pre-schoolers, I have how much My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic gets away with and that is a pre-school show. Heck, I've seen several pre-school shows that get away with more than some older children shows. Not much more, but still enough to make the difference. I have also been informed that the 1987 version of Teddy Ruxpin is being remastered as well, and hopefully they don't only fix the audio, they also have the original master film, just to see if anything was cut out since most episodes are up to two minutes shorter than most cartoons usually are. I do know there were two minute segments for the PSA live action segment with Teddy; but they are not needed anymore and the DVD set of this show used that cut, but with the PSA's all cut out. We'll see where this goes. Also, Jim Henson Production being involved in the reboot is in many ways, the Illiop has truly gone full circle since the television product was originally supposed to be a Jim Henson production with puppets, but they could only get off the first arc before deciding to go to Canada to get 65 episodes out of it. So, that's it. I enjoyed these last six years of ranting on this character and quite frankly, I don't even hate him. He's third-rate, yes; but he's the guy I wouldn't mind them rebooting and improving on. I don't know what is next for me. Maybe once Kit and Molly officially appear on Ducktales 2017, I might rant on it; but for now, I'm taking a break which is codeword for going back to milestoning the Nintendo Switch full time. So...
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.