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Bulls of A Feather
Reviewed: 04/29/2008
The first pilot in DTVA history.
I never liked MySpace. I think it's a wasteland when it comes to community compared to other community based websites. However; I will for this one time thank MySpace for doing the one thing Youtube couldn't do: Have a video of the pilot episode of the Wuzzles. There; I have said it. Now; it's time to finish this series for good so I can move on to other things. It has been fun talking about those fusion Anthros dancing around. With all the fat jokes on Hoppo; Butterbear's wooden acting, Rhinokey's bad jokes, Bumblelion's jerk attitude, Moosel's paranoia and the sad burying of wisdom talking Eleroo along with the five logic breaks per episode rule, BS&P objects (some which were pretty funny I admit) and TMS sub-par animation (when do you ever hear that about TMS on DTVA?); it was a blast. However; it has to end and what a good way to end it then with the pilot episode that was released in the cinemas in the UK back in the mid 1980's? So; how good was this episode? Let's rant on shall we?
The episode is written by Mark Evanier and story is edited by Tony Benedict. Yeah; this is the only episode with ending credits that I am aware of. I've already explained all of the credits in the episode In The Money; so I won't repeat them here. The animation is done by TMS (via their Telcom unit). This is a given for all episodes; so I won't mention it again.
And we begin this episode the same way every episode has begun (with the possible exception of Bumblelion & The Terrified Forest and even that was inside Bumblelion's television set.) as Narrator Stan starts his narration explaining who the Wuzzles are and we pan northeast (a long pan which includes very little animation and a lot of static backgrounds) to inside the forest of Wuzzle feelings as the GANG OF WUZ are having a picnic. We then pan over to Bumblelion playing Bumble Swasher against the FLIES OF DOOM with the BUG SWASHER....I mean..BUG SWATTER OF DEATH! Bumblelion...cannot...hit... anything...despite there being about a thousand of Flants which are half fly, half ant, all annoying as the Flants laugh off Bumblelion's bad swatting skills. Wow; it's 1985 and TMS is pulling out the old dizzy eyes spot that anime shows routinely pull. Geez; I wonder why this show tanked so much? More bouncing and swatting as the children are blowing this show off from the very start since Gummi Bears are much cooler when they bounce. Apparently; Bumblelion proclaims victory despite the fact that there is no evidence that he killed any Flant (because killing is a no-no on a pre-school show) and the Flants punish him by shining their stingers good, turning them sideways and stick it straight up Bumblelion's hairy orange butt. Good selling from Bumblelion as the Flants blow him off again for stupidity and we pan over to Eleroo telling Bumblelion to leave them alone more or less. This is before Eisner found out Eleroo was too smart for his own good.
Bumblelion blows it off as Eleroo proclaims that Flants just want the babyfaces to share and Bumblelion blows that off since the Flants are stealing Butterbear's Appleberry sandwich from the cloth below. This is why setting food down on the ground is a bad idea. Eleroo steals it back as Bumblelion continues to make an ass out of himself and thus foreshadow his entire character in his focus episodes later on in the series. Bumblelion nails himself with the bug swatter as we pan over to Butterbear trying to guard the food with her butt sticking out (EWWW!) and Moosel trying to eat a burger; but the Flants steal from him and Moosel eats hands. HOW DARE THEY?! That's one way to get heel heat from me. We cut to ground level as the Flants tiptoe with a jelly roll as Bumblelion orders Rhinokey to stop them. Now if this were not a pre-school show; those Flants would be squashed; but how does Rhinokey defeat them: By getting in front of them and cracking his first bad joke of the series. The Flants get sick and fly away after that one. If you thought “Swiper No Swiping” was the worst thing anyone ever saw; then you NEVER watched this show. I mean; at least “Swiper No Swiping” had such a charm since if anyone tried that in real life; muggers would beat the person doing it senseless. That was funny (the spot; not real life); this is not (since they are only flies and would ignore you in real life.). We then do a Tug-of-War spot with Butterbear and Butterbear wins by getting the fruit portion of the banana. If that banana were about two feet lower than it actually is here (around BB's lower midsection); we would have a really ugly situation on our hands if you know what I mean.
Bumblelion doesn't care as he continues to swat the Flants. Bumblelion does the first annoying whirlwind spot on DTVA. I thought Butterbear would get that one as Hoppo cries for help because the Flants are spiraling up to grab her melon which is placed above her head. Hoppo actually looks really thin compared to her later episodes actually. Hoppo throws the applemelon (according to her) to Rhinokey as I wait with baited breath for him to crack the first thinly veiled fat joke on her. Rhinokey grabs it and it DOESN'T HAPPEN! BOO! HISS! Rhinokey throws the applemelon to Moosel and it bounces off Moosel's paranoid head. I think this is why Moosel has these psychotic episodes now that I really had the time to think about it. Or maybe not. The applemelon flies into the air and where it lands I don't really care as Butterbear grabs it. Butterbear hides it behind her and does the old opposite misdirection spot which the Flants sell and leave stage left. Well; they are annoying; but no one accused them of being smart. BB throws the applemelon to Bumblelion (who has given up being Bumble Swasher apparently) and it's football season (well; the NFL season would have started on the week of the pilot so it is apporos) as Eleroo starts running and the LAWS OF WUZ state that Eleroo has less energy than Hoppo and he'll just miss grabbing it and the applemelon will smash onto the ground. I check the video....and I'm almost right as Eleroo runs right into the tree (backwards I might add in a cute spot) and drops down as the applemelon nails him right on his head. I see the burying of Eleroo has officially begun three minutes into the episode.
Almost Forgot: Narrator Stan makes an intentional mistake right at the start by saying that we are once again in the land of Wuz when this is the very first episode of the series. More mistakes to come; I assure you. Sadly the PLOT DEVICE OF DOOM starts as a decent sized egg drops from the pineapple tree nest right into Eleroo's pouch (which is so deep it contains so many objects that could destroy the egg easily. Logic break #1 for the episode and DTVA as well). The babyfaces comes over to talk to Eleroo as he proclaims that he is all right. However; the funny feeling in his tummy causes him to take the egg out of his pouch and Hoppo sets the tone for the entire series by proclaiming:
Hoppo: Eleroo laid an egg.....
Man; I can just sense parents group going to their e-mail accounts to protest as we speak even though this episode is 23 years old and there's nothing they can do to stop it since Disney stopped airing the show a long time ago even on their own networks. Eleroo declares himself to be a mom just to make it more obvious even though it's clear that Eleroo (a) didn't have sex with anyone and (b) the egg would be inside of him and (c.) Eleroo is clearly male (despite having a pouch which is on a female kangaroo). Bumblelion thankfully blows that suggestion off and wonders where it came from. I've got two words for ya: Look up...or have you watched too many DX promos and are afraid that you'll look up and get green slime or manure on your face? Rhinokey cracks his second bad joke of the series right on cue right after Moosel cuts a better pun. You know this series is in trouble when the comedy relief sounds like a comedy disease. AHHAHAHAHA! It's going to be a really sad day today since once this rant is over; Rhinokey's rejected jokes pun is going to be retired as a result. (Note From The Future: It returned from retirement about four episodes into ranting the Rescue Rangers; so it came back with great fury; similar to the Larson & Gary jokes started in Beauty In The Beet. Might as well call them cockroach jokes. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!) .
Hoppo accuses Eleroo of acting and Eleroo no sells; until the egg starts to hatch. It only hatches feet and hops right out of Eleroo's hand and back in them. It goes Mooma so it's half cow (literally; not in the fashion sense sort of way); half bird right from the start. Must be Flamingo's baby son. AHHAHAHAHA! Finally it bounces out of Eleroo's hand and the chase is ON! Eleroo hops away along with the other Wuzzles. Apparently; Hoppo isn't too thrilled to run with them since she's the diva of this outfit. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE EGG LAYING EDITION~ to waste some time. Bumblelion gets in front of Eleroo wondering what the bad idea is while chasing the egg. If he is not concerned with the egg then why bother chasing it? And of course Rhinokey cracks another bad joke right on cue (guess which joke it is?) as Moosel outclasses him in every way by waddle hopping. Moosel is so cool and it's a crying shame that he didn't get another role after this show. And then Rhinokey cracks another one right after. We then cut to BB and Hoppo running. I guess BB threatened to take Bumblelion away from her if she didn't help them catch the egg. See; Bumblelion is in a love triangle with BB and Hoppo. Why? I really don't know. All I know is that Bumblelion likes BB and not Hoppo which is easy to explain why: Bumblelion likes wooden voice acting over dense diva voice acting. See; Butterbear KNOWS that the egg doesn't belong to Eleroo and it should go back to it's mother while Hoppo blows it off because telling that to Eleroo would be a crime I guess. Not as much as your lack of weight loss. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....
More chasing as Narrator Stan actually gets into the act by showing off his auto racing announcing skills. Well; it could be a lot worse than this. We could have Lee Marshall as the narrator. Lee Marshall is the worst wrestling announcer in the world (that actually got a long term job) and according to sources; he's not even an expert in picking his nose, or writing his own name. Those sources have not been independently confirmed yet. The egg outsmarts Bumblelion (geez; what a shock?) and Bumblelion does some barefoot water skiing on the lake without a rope making WildCat look like a wuss in comparison. He's still not as cool as Kit Cloudkicker of course since Kit can surf in the air and water if need be. More egg jokes lead to the spot dying on Bumblelion's feet and he falls into the deep water with a screwed up splash. Rhinokey then does his one good spot to impress me as he rams his head right into a tree. Too bad that won't fix his joke fixing. AHHAHAHAHA! His joke fixing isn't good enough to even crack the top ten in favorite pet whipping boys I can use to blame someone for screwing with me; which is very telling for this character in general. And it isn't good (although that didn't stop me from overusing it in future rants; like Larson & Gary).
Whirlwind spot #2 around the tree branch which is a spot Darkwing Duck would lift several times for his series which is proof that Rhinokey was the teacher of Drake Mallard after all. Shudder in fear right now. Hold me......All right; back to the rant as we get the dizzy eyes anime spot for the second time. Is TMS seriously trying to intentionally make this series fail with this crap? And yes; this is a joke since I hear this similar bull crap question when it comes to Nintendo in recent years. Guess who's laughing now genius? (Note From The Future: The same guy who ignores Wii/DS and is saying the same thing about Nintendo 3DS and Wii U.) That allows Moosel and Rhinokey to bowl each other over. Again; see bad joke question above. Nice bumping and dust cloud by TMS though which is negated by (a) Rhinokey sitting on top of him and (b) The third dizzy anime eyes spot of the episode. What's next? Heart eyes? # eyes? X eyes? TMS needs to learn that these spot scare Americans (in 1985 anyway; today only the American Animation purists would care) and (c.) Rhinokey cracks another bad joke on cue. Please; get him to crack fat jokes on Hoppo because this is not working. Moosel does up the class level somewhat by blowing him off.
Hoppo and BB head to the edge of the lake and call out for Bumblelion. And right on cue here is the Walsee (half walrus, half seal I guess) carrying Bumblelion by his neck since Bumblelion cannot swim see. Nice to see them not break internal logic here. I'm sure if this were a Darkwing Duck episode and Drake couldn't swim the writers would find a way to make Drake magically swim to shore. Walsea throws Bumblelion away (because he was polluting his lake with his asshole attitude see. Now there's a fish with real good taste.) and Bumblelion drops on his butt on the ground with a wussy bump. At least TMS doesn't do the dizzy eyes anime spot here. Hoppo does some sweet talking (because she's got a crush on Bumblelion see) and hugs Bumblelion before Bumblelion responds thinking that it's Butterbear who's talking to him. Hoppo gets steamed (because Bumblelion likes Butterbear see. I cannot for the life me understand why?) and throws Bumblelion into the drink again with a better splash this time around. She punks him out and storms off. Well; that's twice now that Hoppo has resorted to both eye contract violence and physical violence at the same time. Bumblelion can only shrug on that spot as the thrilling egg chase MUST CONTINUE inside the forest. Eleroo is actually running which breaks internal logic since he is supposed to hop run like a stereotypical kangaroo in his character design. That's logic break #2 for the episode. A minor one; but annoying nevertheless.
The egg runs over the cliff along with the Eleroo and it's the Warner Brothers free-fall spot. I thought that spot didn't exist since 99% of the Warner Brother guys still haven't worked for Disney yet? Note From The Future: Okay it's really half; but I didn't have the full credits for this show at the time. Eleroo free falls as Narrator Stan proclaims that it's all over and Mooma hatches his wings. Remind me not to call Stan Freberg for picking lotto numbers. Mooma zooms down and grabs Eleroo by his ears (OUCH!) and pulls him up slowly. Eleroo is safely dropped on his butt at the edge of the cliff and the Mooma flies right into his pouch basically assuring that Eleroo becomes the mother by default. The babyfaces shows up as Eleroo thanks the egg for saving him using the DUBBED POP STYLE (totally). I thought Eleroo was too old to resort to pop talk like that? It's about as bad as Baloo saying Cowabunga (a word even Kit would NEVER say. Note From The Future: Not really. Cowabunga existed on Gumby in 1954; so it's a lot more plausible than we think. Still better than Wuzabunga later on). Eleroo proclaims that he's going to keep the egg since it's close friends and the Mooma basically knows Eleroo more than her biological mother. UH OH! I smell real life custody struggle playing out in a cartoon on my television set. Butterbear takes the mother's side on this affair.
Bumblelion actually stays on neutral ground on this affair; but wants more information on the Mooma by hatching the egg and see where it belongs to. Memo to Bumblelion: It's a Mooma; we already know too much. Logic break #3 for the episode. Mooma goes Mooma to further prove my theory as we head to Eleroo's house (which apparently; the tail section of the plane in the front window doesn't exist anymore) as we cut inside to Eleroo's living room and pan to the left as the babyfaces want to take turns keeping the egg warm as they surround the egg which is in a nest on a soapbox in the middle of the room. Hoppo is automatically out of the running due to her weight. This I believe was the start in earnest on the fat jokes on Hoppo...and it was Eleroo of all people unintentionally cracking it. Here comes Rhinokey with the heat lamp cracking another bad joke just to annoy me. He turns it on making some heat jokes which gain him no babyface heat with me as Butterbear wants it set to Hatch. Hoppo and Bumblelion take Eleroo's side on this finally since they want to raise it to be an asshole diva. Okay; they don't say that; but it is basically implied knowing them. Butterbear refuses because it's the mother's responsibility. Sadly; since Mooma is already cuddling up with Eleroo since Eleroo took care of it; Eleroo is the mother by default even if he's not the biological mother. The egg starts hatching and Moosel goes into his paranoid mode for the first time in the series because he thinks it is a monster. The babyfaces wonders what it is as Narrator Stan doesn't know either other than it will be very interesting. We get a close shot at the front of the egg to end the segment about eight minutes in. Another reason to hate MySpace.tv: No timer so I basically winging it with the times.
After the commercial break; we head back to the outside shot of Eleroo's house (minus the tail section of a plane stuck in his front window) before going in as we pan inside with a shot of the back of the egg as the babyfaces cut cute baby promos on the egg. Rhinokey doesn't think the baby is funny. Rhinokey and Lee Marshall: separated at birth. AHHAHAHAHA! The egg finally hatches AFTER the comments (Logic break #4 for the episode) and it's a baby bullfinch (half bull, half finch) as the bullfinch calls for him Mamoo as we fade to black and do the projector shots with Narrator Stan. First shot is a bull. And it's a Brahma-bull showing that even The Rock doesn't have a monopoly on that animal (Note From The Future: Paul Orndorff actually was called that nickname in Georgia Championship Wrestling a few years before he appeared in the WWE). The second shot is a finch and then the two shots are combined to form the adult version of a bullfinch. And it's mean which is no surprise to me. I think I now know who to blame for ID and Creationism: this show. PZ Meyers fears The Wuzzles! Okay; I don't know if he does or not since he's too busy with his blog to care at this point. Chances are he doesn't. Baby bullfinch flies to Bumblelion and Bumblelion tickles him under the chin. If that was Kit he would be laughing right now. Butterbear tells him to be careful as Bumblelion gleefully ignores. Never ignore the power of wooden acting and Bumblelion pays for it as bullfinch bites him on the finger. HAHA! Bumblelion's selling is so cute as his finger is red and bouncing as Eleroo blows off Bumble for scaring the baby. I don't think that is possible Mama Eleroo. AHHAHAHAHA!
Bumblelion holds his mouth with the other hand as he runs out of the house and then screams. HAHA! Butterbear looks dumbfounded while Bumblelion pops out and blows off Eleroo; finally taking Butterbear's side on the custody battle. Nice touch to use the RED POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on that spot Bumblelion. That really accents the anger in a neat little package. Then again; Bumblelion likes Butterbear; and would probably do anything for her, natch. Eleroo gleefully no sells as he stuffs the baby bottle (nipple side of course) into the bullfinches mouth. Milking a bullfinch is like inviting death to Rhinokey's joke funereal. AHHAHAHAHA! Listen; this is the last episode I need to rant for this series so I'm going to milk these bad rejected joke as I see fit. FREEDOM OF SPEECH BABEE! See; I can have no sense of irony like those mean hardcore elitist gamers (journalist and their ilk) do. It's cow-sheep milk and baby bullfinch steals the bottle with disdain showing that Eleroo wisdom has been buried even before Eleroo had a chance to get over. Nice going Michael Eisner; that'll show you have respect for your elders.
Unintentional Funny Moment #31,277: I actually saw Eisner's show the other day and they were talking about a scene of Happy Days that was disallowed by the censors at CBS for the evening and yet the scene was shown in reruns in mid morning when children could be watching. BWHAHAHAHA! And that scene was only slightly more forbidden than anything on TaleSpin (and even then the scene was tame to begin with) and it was shown in reruns while several scenes from TaleSpin were cut to ribbons and never shown again after 1995 until Disney released the uncut DVD just a few years ago. And Eisner supported the artist scene for Happy Days on a scene that was worse than anything on TaleSpin and Eisner didn't fully support the series. It makes you wonder if Eisner really cared about the children; or money or he just hated TaleSpin because it didn't fit his image of what a cartoon was supposed to be.
Anyhow; back to the rant and the bullfinch shows off his baseball skills and his window smashing skills all at once. This bullfinch has some spark and he is about as good as Herny the Inkara was in Mommy For a Day. Now all bullfinch needs to do is increase in size when he gets wet and he'll be better than the Inkara ever was. Butterbear points out that he likes Googleberries and this proves that Eleroo is a bad mother and bullfinch needs his biological mother. Eleroo decides to finally admit that he isn't good enough for him (a bad sign for Eleroo's character right out of the starting gate) and the bullfinch flies around and seems to like Rhinokey for some reason (well; my opinion of bullfinch just went down two notches) as Narrator Stan proclaims that they'll find out that bullfinches live in Pineapple Trees BEFORE Butterbear finds the RED BOOK OF LIES (because all misinformation comes from them and thus DTVA characters use them during episodes to read in order to discourage real children from reading from real books according to Al Khan's line of thinking. I think I have covered all the bases here) and basically repeats everything Stan said. Wow; how about that? Or is Stan admitting that these Wuzzles are stupid? Or is Stan admitting that he is the GOD OF THE WUZZLES? I SMELL A FANFIC COMING!
We get information overload as bullfinches' heat is dropping by the second since he's not screwing Rhinokey over and he flies back into the nest as Butterbear explains the FEATHERS OF SLIGHT DISCOMFORT on it's tail as the latest in Wuzzles' fashion. Oh; that isn't obvious materialism in the very least, no siree! I mean come on! How can fashion be so important to protect a bullfinch?! Why not just protect them for the sake of protecting them? That makes more moral sense then what Butterbear is saying. (Note From The Future: After reading the articles on Respectful Insolence concerning animal welfare; I can safely say that last couple of statements were REALLY STUPID on my part.) Now you know why I hate red books. Bumblelion proclaims that it's time for bullfinch to go back to his home while completely REPEATING THE SPOT he did earlier in the scene. Oh man; I could spot the recycled spot a mile away. I'm amazed TaleSpin didn't recycle as much as they could have with Sun Woo and Jade animating nearly half of the episodes and that is about three times as many as this series and yet the Wuzzles have about three times as many recycled spots as TaleSpin ever had in it's 65 episode run. That is really telling. We then go outside before the series gets really exposed to the trash cans as Brat is eating out of them as Butterbear settles on the deal to take the bullfinch back home. Brat runs away stage right with his tire in his procession since he didn't complete eating it.
So now we head to Crock's Wooden Boat of Evil (with a really nice shot of it being propped up) as we head inside to the messy room as the music completely dies and there is only chirping sounds left. Nice way of saying that the villain sucks since this is Crock we are talking about. We pan over to the sofa as Crock and Flizard are reading and since only heels are allowed to read according to 4Kids twisted logic this is okay. Sadly; this is before 4Kids Entertainment (Note From The Future: 4Kids appeared in 1992; although it's parent company Leisure Concepts existed in the 1970's) existed and it's Disney for 4Kids is screwed as usual. I don't think purists would mind seeing them get screwed either. See Crock hasn't eaten for days and is using Brat to grab stuff from garbage bins. Okay; that is remotely heelish and quite yucky myself. They are actually reading out of picture cookbooks and Crock eats a page since he has no real food see. Okay; that is one step away from being completely crazy there pal. Flizard wants to work as Crock wants a picture of some food and then he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY realizing that the most forbidden word in the history of DTVA heels has been used by a heel. See; the number five law in heels is that they never work for their keep. They lie, cheat and steal to get their food. Flizard should be ashamed of himself for ever suggesting in breaking the fifth law of heels. Crock is mad as hell for Flizard use of that word and threatens to wash out Flizard's mouth with Wuzzle Soap. Well; you do have to get in the WUZZLE PUNS OF THE DAY somewhere in this show.
Flizard pleads for mercy and promises never to say that word again as we pan over right to the door and Brat crashes right through it like Taz with Downs Syndrome. And to think that Taz got in hot water over his character and Brat didn't which shows just how over this series really was. Crock offers him the magazine and Brat no sells as he tells him that the babyfaces has a baby bullfinch. Crock nearly blows a gasket before realizing that a baby bullfinch is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! Red static background is used for the first time in DTVA along with the IMAGINATION BALLOON OF CHILD CORRUPTING DOOM which contains only a simple dollar sign! And purists wonder why Sabin painted those imagination balloons over when Dragon Ball Z was released in the states? Crock and the gang run out of the house; but not before Brat finally takes the magazine and eats it to cement his Down Syndrome gimmick for the rest of the series. When Brat is more over than the sidekick and the main villain you know this show has tanked. We then cut to inside the forest of WUZZLE FEELINGS as we get to see Moosel driving the Mooselmobile (WHAT THE HELL? A Batman reference? In this show? What are the odds?) with the babyfaces and the bullfinch in Eleroo's pouch. Wow; I didn't know Moosel had a car and I don't think we have seen this car since this episode aired (although it might or might not have been used as the Banana Split float in the episode In The Money). Eleroo hugs bullfinch tightly as they stop right in front of the Pineapple tree and they are about to say their goodbyes just as Crock appears behind the bushes.
Crock walks away from the bushes wearing the silliest disguise I have ever seen making this the first time a heel in DTVA used a disguise that even the target audience wouldn't fool. He isn't even trying to make an effort to make the head look like a real bull finch (as shown on a platter given by Flizard when we pan to the right) and the obvious yellow patches on the ears give him away almost instantly. Sadly; this is a DTVA show and the babyfaces will fall for it. Crock walks from the bushes and we get another dead giveaway: green skin on his arms, legs and tail. He's not even trying which should give you a real good idea on the IQ of the babyfaces right there. We then cut to a tree on the left side of the screen as Eleroo and baby bullfinch sizes up the Pineapple tree. He then gives bullfinch to Moosel and Eleroo decides to climb up because it was all his fault that bullfinch is in his pouch see. Okay; that makes sense however unintentionally so. You'll never hear that out of a bunch of parents who killed their diabetic child because they didn't seek medical attention since their god could heal the child from the illness by merely praying to their scumbag deity (whomever it was). Good for Eleroo that he has real moral fiber in his being. Eleroo tries to climb up as Moosel calls this a brain freeze and Eleroo freefalls right into a bush. There's logic break #5 for the episode since he should have landed in front of Moosel instead. That was really glaring which is par for the course with this series.
Bumblelion then appears an proclaims that he's taking charge and quickly climbs up the tree, only to free fall and topple right on top of Eleroo. Well; at least that spot didn't break internal logic. Moosel blows off the tree hugging as we see Load Of Bull-Crock (I cannot stop laughing after typing that.) appear OUT OF NOWHERE and starts the old poor baby routine with arms out stretched. The babyfaces is dumbfounded as I am on Logic Break #6 since Eleroo should still be in the bushes with Bumblelion. Put Moosel there if you want the scene to not break logic. Load of Bull-Crock walks towards Moosel as Eleroo explains what bullfinch likes and Load of Bull-Crock doesn't even bother to sell the voice anymore and steals the baby bullfinch from Moosel. That pretty much assures that Crock is a third rate villain for life: Never blow your cover in such an obvious way. Crock should be ashamed of himself. Baby bullfinch is clearly not buying this (that makes two of us) as Load of Bull-Crock sells the mother voice again calling him cute and then backs up and bails stage left. Sadly; his male trailing voice gives him away again. What a poor excuse of a heel this Crock fellow is?
We cut back as the Mooselmobile is in profile as Moosel tells Eleroo to lighten up. How can I lighten up when you stupid Wuzzles cannot tell that Crock was clearly in a really contrived disguise? I came to get away from the crap of Ruby Spears; not be REMINDED of it. Eleroo is upset because he loved baby bullfinch like it was his only son. I think Eleroo is officially trans-gender or bisexual which would be excellent in this day and age; but not in 1985 when he was getting buried as a wisdom character and homosexuals couldn't get any respect; let alone bisexuals and trans-gender. Eleroo sulks as we head to the car riding sequence as the Mooselmobile can bounce like one of those cars Eddie used to bring to the wrestling ring before matches. Kudos to Disney for bringing that spot into the pop-culture to annoy the hell out of us. Another reason why I don't have a car I guess.
Rhinokey tells Eleroo to cheer up (and not chin up like so many heartless gamers say to people who are sick and tired of their PS2 and XBOX systems breaking down long before they should be. Why is it that Nintendo doesn't have this problem? Oh; they sell pins that contain lead paint and yet their video game systems don't have this problem (or any other serious problems like catching fire like XBOX 360 can?)? I smell psychological projection here methinks.) as Moosel drives and then he panics as he notices that an adult bullfinch zooms down and crashes right onto the window shield of the Mooselmobile. If that bullfinch completely destroys that car; he's going to be made into bullfinch steaks. Seriously; that Mooselmobile is so cool and since it's too cool for Michael Eisner's school, that son of a bullfinch is trying to kill it before it can be used in other episodes. Narrator Stan calls this bullfinch love more or less (I call it Eisner loving to kill cool designs myself) as the Wuzzles panic to end the segment about sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we continue with the eye contact violence of the adult bullfinch staring down at the babyfaces (mostly Eleroo because it's all his fault see) while the car is still running. Man; that road must be the straightest road in the history of the world. The bullfinch stares for a bit and then flies away allowing the Mooselmobile to sell it quite well. Good for him for showing some respect to the Mooselmobile. Rhinokey cracks the usual bad jokes as the bullfinch zooms around and then dives down as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BULLFINCH FEATHERS EDITION~! It's a race through the town which contains a lot of areas that I have NEVER seen in this series and never will since. Man; this land is so disorganized. Maybe I just think TaleSpin is better in location designs; I don't know. And the second whirlwind spot occurs on the traffic cop in the middle of the crosswalk. The male Wuzzles stop the MooselMobile right in front of the house about 15 feet away and it oversells right on cue. Man; that car is more over than just about every character in this episode. The male Wuzzles run into the house and slam the door shut. We head inside as the GANG OF WUZ (mostly male) do the always contrived barricade spot to barricade the door...and the piano gets involved of course as the male Wuzzles slump into the circle and pant heavily. I told you those steroids Bumblelion uses would cause trouble someday; but would anyone listen. Nooooooo... Bumblelion just had to feed adult bullfinch with it to make it so pumped up and cool.
Hoppo wants answers; but now the plan is screwed because the bullfinch is trying to destroy the ceiling which proves that the bullfinch is on the roids. I betcha Larson and Gary are making a killing as we speak. AHHAHAHAHA! I cannot believe that two of the worst characters in DARKWING..DUCK history are getting more exposure and they don't even EXIST yet. Proof that Larson and Gary are the devil spawns of Satan. Or in this case: Drake Mallard. Bumblelion pushes away the objects (after looking like he can barely move anymore mind you) from the door and the babyfaces bail like a bunch of scalded BirdDogs. Another pun I can soon retire after this rant is over which is about four minutes away. Butterbear uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH to show the northwest pan of the adult bullfinch which is sitting on the roof. This is so symbolic of Larson and Gary's deadly grip on cartoon societies the world over. Hoppo is scared that she's met someone heavier than she is. Now she knows how I feel when she keeps nailing me in the kisser after a bad fat joke. POW! OUCH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I didn't crack a fat joke! Please let this series end now!
Eleroo thinks this is revenge for him losing the baby bullfinch. Geez; you THINK?! Butterbear and Hoppo have a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and she bails with Hoppo as Eleroo sulks because he's going to be homeless. Bumblelion doesn't think so because being an ass is so cool. After all; he is Bumble Swasher after all. Bumblelion blitzes and manages to climb onto the roof (HUH? HOW?! Logic break #7 for the episode) as Bumblelion crawls onto the straw roof. Maybe if Eleroo invested on a steel roof maybe his roof wouldn't be crushed by this fat freak. POW! OUCH! I WAS TALKING TO THE BULLFINCH YOU FAT BASTARD! POW! OUCH! UH OH! (This is me running away from Hoppo...I come back six hours later and 100 pounds lost) Okay; I'm back. Man; her sense of humor is like hardcore..man. Bumblelion invokes the pink (!!!) cloth to get the bullfinch excited. Well; since the movement of the cape is what drives the bull nuts instead of the color; I can gleefully ignore the obvious coloring mistake. Bullfinch isn't impressed and blitzes Bumblelion (and somehow the roof remains intact mind you) and blows steam with the big ass snout to steam Bumblelion good. It's enough to actually blow Bumblelion off the roof as he tumbles down and lands with some nasty bumps into the the BARREL OF LAUGHS which is stuck on Bumblelion's ass. HAHA! That is so funny on SO MANY LEVEL as the barrel is taking a couple of leaks. AHHAHAHAHA!
The male Wuzzles laugh at his attempt of douchebaggery and Bumblelion does manage to handle this better than Mr. Hardcore!That's right you sexist losers; you are officially worse than Asshole Bumblelion. I hope you are proud of yourselves. Bullfinch is pumped up like the roided freak that he is as we cut to outside of PackRat's HOUSE OF SKIS (for the last time in the series) as Narrator Stan proclaims that Butterbear better hope she remembers the googleberries. I think this is the inspiration for the web engine Google; but I must be hearing things. We head inside and PackRat tells the female Wuzzles that he is out of Googleberries. They plead for him to sell some and there's no dice because he sold them to the truck outside of the store which so happens to belong to Flizard and Brat. Yeah; that wasn't contrived in the very least, no siree. That's logic break #8 for the episode as BB and Hoppo notices Flizard and Brat speeding off with the Googleberries in tow. Like anyone should be surprised that Crock is behind this; but the babyfaces are clearly color blind.
We then cut to a shot of the bushes as Hoppo and BB pop out and notice that the baby bullfinch is tied by his ankle to a tree while Brat and Flizard tease him with a branch of Googleberries while Crock demands the baby to eat them. Oh; yeah it's really SHOCKING to see this scene. No wonder this show tanked. Baby bullfinches just growls (can you blame him? He's the most over character in the entire episode with the Mooselmobile in second and Moosel in third) as Crock wants that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! The heels have a whisper conference to plot out their next scheme to make baby bullfinch eat (good luck fools). The backs are turned as Hoppo sees this as the time to steal the baby bullfinch back. Good luck you...err...never mind (I'm being held at gunpoint by Butterbear at this point. Don't tell her that her acting is you know what) as Hoppo sneaks in using her quiet sign and unties the baby bullfinches. Hoppo grabs him and he calls for his Mamoo.
Hoppo realizes that she's screwed and she runs stage left as Crock and the henchmen get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY. I just love Crock's logic of stealing which is basically the same logic Don Karnage used when Kit stole the STONE OF DOOM from him which Don stole from Shere Khan. The chase is on as Hoppo runs into the bushes as we get an extended shot of the heels chasing them. Butterbear and Hoppo manage to hide their ButterCar (which I never saw in this series until now) in the bushes (how; I'll never know and that's logic break #9 for the episode) and they climb in and speed off. We get the CAR CHASE OF DOOM for one last time in this series. Nothing warms my heart then seeing Crock using his his black car rather than the truck Flizard and Brat uses. I guess the truck isn't heelish enough. Evidence #1: The truck is not black. The chase continues as we head back to Eleroo's house as the adult bullfinch is still on the roof and the male Wuzzles are seemly ready to give up. Yeah; make the males look like wusses by letting them give up easily; that's real smart Eisner.
The females have the better plan already (which I don't mind them at all but I don't like people rubbing the wuss in my face to boot) and here comes the Butterbear Car which basically speeds by the house followed by the Crock's chase car. Now; why didn't they just do a car chase scene BEFORE this scene started and then have them stop the cars and do a proper finish. Now we have to do a car chase scene for the next three minutes or so as Bumblelion and the gang go after them. Nice oversell of emotion from Bumblelion as we head back to the car chase and the most idiotic animation mistake I have ever seen occurs as the baby bullfinch's mouth not only doesn't move; it's been wiped clean from it's face. UGH! UGH! UGH! And then it reappears about two seconds later for Logic Break #10 for the episode. Double UGH! UGH! UGH! And this is TMS we are talking about here. (Note From The Future: I didn't know at the time that this show was animated by the Telecom unit of TMS which explains the crappy animation this show has at times.) Adult bullfinch hears the pleads of the baby and it is pissed as it starts flying and gets involved in the car chase.
We get a shot of the recycled background from earlier as the ButterCar rides recklessly. Does anyone teach these Wuzzles how to drive?! We then go to the shot of the Mooselmobile as the male Wuzzles hop into it and speed off. I'm calling the final bump right now: The tail-section of the Mooselmobile will fly right into Eleroo's front window and then be painted red after this episode to prevent the obvious CONTINUITY ERROR. The chase continues into the mountains as the HEEL CAR FROM HELL manages to get side by side with the ButterCar after a long while. Brat grabs onto the ButterCar and does a beautiful spot to make a bridge. And then we see the stoplight right in the middle of the road (HUH?) and Brat let's go for no real reason other than to make the bump look really contrived and forced as he takes a really wussy bump (using a lame pie splat sound effect to boot. UGH!) into it. That is an obvious BS&P decision if I ever saw one.
Crock waves bye-bye to him as the car chase continues right towards Crock's house. We then get random shots of the Mooselmobile driving and losing the babyfaces and a number of adult bullfinches flying around. This is turning into a Ruby-Spears episode. So we finally make it to a top shot of Crock's house before panning down to ground level as the ButterCar is forced to stop on a dime about three feet off the dusty road. Again; who teaches these Wuzzles how to drive? Hoppo and Butterbear hop out and run into Crock's house. Okay; I know this is a heel house, but this is still trespassing all the same. And I betcha the good guys won't be arrested for their actions either. Crock stops him car about 20 feet away into a bunch of trash cans. Crock and Flizard hop out and decide to use the back door which is apporos since most of their scheme involve the back door. We head inside the living room as Hoppo blows off Crock's lack of house cleaning skills. Butterbear blows her off in kind because they need to find a place to hide. Baby bullfinch is excited and calls out for Mamoo. The Mooselmobile stops right beside the ButterCar (showing the ability of Moosel's driving in one fell swoop) outside and the male Wuzzles hop out and storm inside via the front door as Butterbear tells them that Crock is after them.
Bumblelion wants to beat up Crock and I betcha Crock flings open the back door and Bumblelion runs away like a coward. Thankfully; I am wrong as the babyfaces blows off Crock as he demands that they give the baby bullfinch back. It's five against three so I think the babyfaces can take the heels on. Sadly; the babyfaces chickens out (sort of) and leaves Bumblelion to deal with them 3 on 1. Why? Because he's the toughest Wuzzle in WUZ see. Bumblelion then realizes that he is going out of character and gets back in character as Crock is unimpressed. Eleroo becomes the chicken of the group (what a shock?) and then the adult bullfinches start crushing the roof of the wooden tugboat. Narrator Stan rubs it in their faces when we see the adult bullfinches on the roof in the far shot outside. Wow; I think this is Stan's wet dream: To see the Wuzzles crushed before the series starts so he doesn't have to stoop to doing 12 more episodes. Okay; maybe not. Flizard blows it off as Brat with indigestion and I shudder to think of that image. Thanks Flizard for giving me nightmares. Brat is not impressed as the babyfaces and the bullfinch run out the door. Crock and the henchmen try to go after them; but the Bullfinches break through and the heels are screwed with broken boards and bullfinches.
We cut to outside as the babyfaces look on and Rhinokey just has to crack a bad joke right on cue. Butterbear is concerned about the heels' well being. I have a hard time trying to show sympathy when the Down Syndrome character in Brat has more heel heat than the villain and sidekick combined. Rhinokey goes to the door and opens it to reveal the heels all dusted up. Oh yeah; that wasn't contrived in the very least no siree! Rhinokey shuts the door and cracks another bad joke which wasn't even a joke at all. That's like me making a question and answering the door. AHHAHAHAHA! The mother bullfinch flies down (great selling and wind animation on the spot) as Hoppo allows the bullfinches a bonding moment. How funny that Hoppo gets all the glory and Eleroo gets zero chance at redeeming himself. Further evidence that Eisner was burying him right from the start. Because wisdom talking old guys are cool and it might take away from the younger characters. Funny; this is what happened to all the one shot old characters in TaleSpin despite the writers there doing everything to get them over (and succeeding since both young and old characters in TaleSpin were way over after this.). This is why I don't like Michael Eisner.
The mother bullfinches licks Hoppo in a really sick spot (EWWWW!) and then the babyfaces cheer and wave goodbye as the bullfinches fly away slowly in the east as the sun set slowly in the west. Now there's a mixed metaphor if I ever saw one. Baby bullfinch waves goodbye as they fly out of sight allowing Rhinokey to crack one last bad joke for rant sakes. And guess what happens next? Eleroo hops OUT OF NOWHERE with another big egg and the babyfaces gets flustered as history repeats itself and Eleroo gets his character buried right out of the starting gate. And of course they commit Logic break #11 since Eleroo's house is supposed to have that tail section of a plane inside the front window. We go to the far shot of the LAND OF WUZ as Narrator Stan wraps it up for the last time (for rant purposes since I did this one last.) and I think he's happy that this episode is over as we fade to black at 21:41. Well; it's better than most of the best episodes of Ruby Spears; but not by much and that's a bad sign right out of the gate. This is the second worst pilot of all of the series from 1985-1991 (Note From The Future: The Fluppy Dogs 45 minute special was MUCH worse than this pilot.) ** ¼ ( 45%).
Final Note: The MySpace.TV video is the ONLY ONE with the actual ending credits. The show was produced by Fred Wolf and directed by Carole Beers. TaleSpin & Ducktales fans should know Miss Beers and Ducktales fan should know Fred Wolf. I don't think Fred is related to Scott Wolf in any way.
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; if I based this show on this one pilot episode; I would have thought that Michael Eisner made a huge mistake in making a television animation division like so many purists did. This was a real mess of an episode with a decent Mommy For A Day plot that basically allowed Eleroo to be systematically buried as a character before it even got started. Eleroo didn't even get a chance to redeem himself like Sunni, Cubbi and Molly did with their respective animal babies. It seems that the writers were merely putting a story together just to introduce the characters without putting much effort into creating a really good story and making me care about the characters. I'm almost glad I didn't see this episode first because this look like an episode on par with the best stories that a Ruby Spears show had; only better animated. There were various logic breaks and errors in continuity that would really show in other episodes as they never explained why Eleroo's front window as a tail section wing in other episodes that the house was featured but not in this one. And I thought that it would be involved in the finish to the episode; but it wasn't even close. Even the animation from TMS was sloppy; although compared to Ruby Spears; it's still a lot better animated and I'll give credit to TMS for not degenerating nearly as much as the rest of the episode did. When an animal, a cool car that never appears after this episode and a Down Syndrome character is more over than the characters that are going to be the main events for the next 12 episodes; you are in trouble. Moosel got to do almost nothing but drive a cool car and do a few spots. Rhinokey was is usual crappy self and there were no fat jokes present. This was a real mess of an episode and a really bad sign for a series that showed a lot of promise. Thankfully; the series improved quite a bit after this episode so it wasn't a total write-off.
Well; that ends my second complete DTVA series (the first was TaleSpin) and I actually came out liking this series a lot more than I originally did. It's far from flawless and many of the episode showed that the animation/writer teams were pretty green in places; but it was a solid effort that just didn't translate into ratings gold for the series. I still believe that if this series was designed as a regular show rather than a preschool show to sell toys; they could have taken the risks needed to really get the series over as a Slice-Of-Life show and maybe it could have performed better in the ratings. Of course; they could have improved the series even beforehand with getting a better actress for Butterbear, not put Eleroo in bad situations and make Rhinokey crack much better jokes (or just crack fat jokes on Hoppo). So there you go. So..for the last time in this series.....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time with a new series to rant.