Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without premission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this webpage and that all material used here is used with the upmost affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else's. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guestbook.
Hooray for Hollywuz
Reviewed: 04/05/2008
Let's Really Go Old School; Back When Ruby Spears Was REALLY ANNOYING!!
Well; I always find a way to rant on all 13 episodes even if my tools don't work the way they should. While my Flash Player would not play the first third of this episode (probably due to the fact that I didn't update it) ; the Flash Player at Reboot did. So I spent the day before this episode rant was finished (at lunchtime) on the computer writing the first eight minutes of the rant from a notebook (for the first time since 2004) with my co-workers looking on. I should point out that Greg Manson already knows that I'm a TaleSpin fan so that wasn't a problem. It was the others that aren't so into it. A bit of a humble experience; but it paid off as I got it done in one lunchtime and so I did the rest of the rant today. So; our next adventure in the land of Wuz features Hoppo as the focus character. Yeah; a diva character , that'll get the joint rocking. Let's rant on shall we....?!
This episode is written by Ken Koonce & David Weimers. The story is edited by who cares (probably Ken Koonce and David Weimers.
We begin this one with the pan shot of the WONDERFUL WORLD OF WUSS..ERRR..I mean WUZ...and Stan just had to add the WUZZLE PUN OF THE DAY into the opening narration. We pan over to the home of the CockoPoodle and I'm SHOCKED and APPALLED that such sexual words are fused into normal word in this preschool cartoon. Or not as he flies up the top of his BirdDog House and sprays his throat with alum to annoy me. It's bad enough when characters do it; it's worse when creatures do it. He tries to sing; but his voice is way off. Geez; is this some rib on Ruby-Spears or what?! Oh wait; it's Hoppo singing badly in her house, my mistake. CockoPoodle blows her off and it's the SINGING DUEL OF HIDEOUS DEATH to waste some time in which Hoppo wins that one despite having singing that makes me sound like Elton John in comparison. Even I can win a singing contest against her; easily. Cocko takes an off-screen bump for his troubles despite not being physically attacked (other than the eardrums of course). Hoppo sings some more because according to animation smarks; this is approved torture for them hating any show involving dancing and singing animals. Even Stan agrees that her singing sucks eggs and so did the GANG OF WUZ as they cover their ears and board up their houses.
Hoppo's singing is so ear-piercing that she breaks glass and wood which is a rare feat for such crappy singing. Moosel is so screwed as they say; more so than Eleroo trying to cover his ears with pillows. Rhinokey's covers his ears with banana peels which proves that at least Hoppo's bad singing is good for something. You know what I am talking about here. And just to make my day; Telecom animates Hoppo as if she lost her head singing just to complete the Sidism. And BumbleLion makes history by dropping his dumbbells on his foot creating the first foot catching spot in all of DTVA...not done by Gruffi of course. Everyone is fed up of Hoppo's singing (my deepest sympathies to all of them) and allows Rhinokey to REPEAT THE SPOT (except for HIM of course) due to banana peels covering said ears. This is just painful as they make it to her house and tell her to stop singing earning them the dreaded eye contact violence. Umm; that's it?! If she's going to be a diva; shouldn't she be yelling at them and being really mean-spirited?! See; this is why making it a preschool show was a BAD idea. As least with Sunni; she was entertaining enough for me to mock. With Hoppo; I have NOTHING; AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING to work with here. Oh; and she's practicing for the Wuzzle's most recent play and she's a diva because she's more concerned with her voice than other Wuzzles' ears. I guess Butterbear is either tone deaf..or deaf and somehow she can speak. Rhinokey cracks his first bad joke of the episode and I'm praying for her to sing again to punish him but it doesn't happen.
Bumble tells her that she'll bring the house down. Oh man; that is like inviting death there guys! So she punishes them by singing. Oh; and her voice can break clay pots which is pretty selective logic there guys. So that logically leads to the cinema as the play is called Cinderawuzzle. That was so hideously bad and contrived that Disney Feature should sue Disney Television Animation just for the hell of it. Hey; it could be more fun than watching commercial showing lawyers going over the case of Coke Vs. Coke Zero. By the way; the cinema looks like a community center which gives new meaning to the term: backwater town. We head inside (using the ultra cheap SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM) to the stage as Hoppo is practicing her bad singing wearing a red scarf while Moosel is playing CinderaWuzzle I guess. Hoppo is playing the role of the Fairy Godmother (check the wand that she's holding) with is apporos since she was TOO FAT in the Disney movie of the same name (in the general sense of course). Butterbear is sitting in the front row acting like she was forced into the role as the director; the poor wooden sap. Eleroo is painting the background and Hoppo starts singing in such a crappy fashion that Eleroo is forced to cover his ears with the curtains and falls out of his green chair.
Stan's narration is fine; but his timing is way off base here. I watched this show to GET AWAY from Ruby-Spears; not be REMINDED of them. Hoppo asks for approval and everyone lies lest Hoppo commits eye contact violence on them. This makes today's preschool shows look violent by comparison. Or maybe not. Hoppo wants to sing again (since she rewrote the lyrics see); but Butterbear talks her out of it. Butterbear calls for the next scene and I'm glad she's the directors since her wooden voice is reduced to a bare minimum. Hoppo likes being off her feet as she ties a rope around her fat belly to the pulley system in order to fly. I guess those logically breaking wings are fake. Hoppo's acting is much better than her singing as Bumble and Eleroo twist the pulley wheel hard; but it fails to rise Hoppo to the air because Hoppo is JUST TOO FAT! Hoppo improvises well as the male pulley tuggers are screwed because you know how TOO FAT Hoppo is. Eye contract violence from Hoppo flusters Butterbear so Rhinokey joins in. Geez; Hoppo's belly fat is as hard as a rock, not unlike Lisa Ruddy's head.
Finally; she rises from the stage...for about three seconds and then she twirls around with the greatest of ease. The first rope snap spot occurs and Hoppo takes a really wussy bump onto the floor allowing the male Wuzzles to show off their flying skills, breaking logic (of course) and awesome flips over Hoppo. Butterbear has had enough and cuts the production by coming on stage to tell Hoppo that's she's been recast. Why? Because Hoppo's just TOO FAT! Hoppo mistranslates that for being the biggest star (check the black stars in her eyes and I'm wondering: I'm heard of black-balling; but black starring?!) in the entire play to show Sunni how to be a diva and fail..badly. Rhinokey then surprises me by cutting an actual wide-screen joke (not really; since thinly veiled fat jokes are all Rhinokey can really do properly) as Hoppo accept her fate with grace and I'm saying WHAT?! She's a F'N diva guys! Show some actual CONFLICT! And she's out of character here since she's supposed to be ANNOYED by Rhinokey's jokes! Rhinokey cracks another bad joke and Hoppo leaves because she wants to go to Hollywuz. UGH! She handles Rhinokey's jokes better than I do. I could write it off as some bad case of HollyWuz fever; but I know better and this is just bad writing.
So we have another bad scene changer as we head inside Hoppo's house (which has a red ribbon nailed to the front door in a show of vanity only surpassed by Mr. Hardcore.) as she is on her chair (after the obvious diva look of the room on the pan shot) in front of the MIRROR OF VANITY while sitting on the smallest chair possible without breaking due to the fact that she is TOO FAT. She's singing the Hollywood song (guess which wood uses the WUZZLE PUN OF THE DAY here?) and her singing sucks eggs of course. We then cut to outside as the babyfaces are outside on her front lawn like an angry mob (without the anger of course) and they agree that she'll suck if she is going to Hollywuz. Eleroo however states that if she is told the truth then it will break her heart (and probably a million eardrums). The babyfaces then barges in such a rude fashion (because knocking like polite ladies and gentlewuzzles is beneath them I guess) just as Hoppo is packing her bags. Those are such heelish Wuzzles there as they try to tell her; but Hoppo pulls out my favorite spot to cringe on which is the stuff that is bigger than their body weight spot (on all of them to boot.). You can now officially blame Hoppo for teaching Baloo such a vile trick to pull on Kit Cloudkicker. Even more; she acts like a diva by carrying the GBLT Lunchbox which of course is the smallest object that she will carry. She is such a gay diva as we get the third straight ugly scene changer (and they wondered why The Wuzzles TANKED on CBS?) of the episode.
We head to the airport as Hoppo stands in front of the Air Taxi (which was lifted for TaleSpin five years later) wearing the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT to attempt to show that she's a cool diva. It fails worse than Sideshow Pii Wii trying to explain away Wii selling numbers. And that's RARE company indeed. Hoppo wishes everyone goodbye and wants them to promise to visit her in HollyWuz because it wouldn't be enough of a diva not to. Eleroo wonders if they should tell her and his voice gets Hoppo full attention. Rhinokey finally tells her the truth and she hates it as I expected her to do. At least she yelled this time sort of. Moosel calls being in HollyWuz tough (no kidding there my favorite Wuzzles character.) and that only inspires Hoppo to go to HollyWuz. Hoppo then starts buttering up Moosel (which isn't hard considering his creative personality) and he does the CHILDREN CORRUPTING IMAGINATION BALLOON OF DOOM of him getting fan support and seeing the top talent of HollyWuz at dinner. And this might be the only time in the series that all those main characters that got rejected in the series; (but not in the original book) get a cameo appearance. Slice-Of-Life is so unfair.
Moosel now wants to join her and gets into the plane ahead of her. Hoppo and the gang exchange goodbyes and there is absolutely zero pathos here because I don't care about Hoppo at all. Moosel yes; but Hoppo is the FOCUS character here. Sadly the plane leaves the runway (despite the only passenger being on the plane is Moosel) and Rhinokey blows off Hoppo's silly and hypocritical speech to boot. Irony; you are a fickle muse as she got Left Behind. HAHA! Hoppo runs after the Air Taxi allowing Stan to blow off Hoppo (as if Rhinokey wasn't enough) in a cute spot to end the segment exactly nine minutes in. Well; I hope Moosel can pull an episode out of his blue butt because this episode has been absolutely dull with no heat whatsoever on Hoppo. Editor's Note: This is where the first Youtube video ends (Yeah; that was easy!) so my notes from work end here. Took almost 90 minutes to do which is far more than I had in terms of time for lunch. Everything else from here on is written from home as I see it....
After the commercial break; we head to HollyWuz (a much smaller version of Hollywood helpfully labeled by the CASUAL PUN VISABLE LANDMARK OF THE DAY (Casual as in dumb) and the pan over as Stan basically narrates the whole city on the pan shot. Nice boot house shot there guys. We head over to the Gate of Parabox (a pun on Paramount) as the Air Taxi (which seems to got a new peach color paint job in between commercial breaks for Logic Break #1.) stops and dumps the luggage in a neat spot. Hoppo and Moosel hop out as the plane WUZZS away before Hoppo starts blowing it off for mistreatment. Moosel decides to help her and smartly grabs the GBLT lunchbox. And then over the fence hops a half turtle/half horse who takes couple of nice bumps onto the ground. Horsenturtle dusts himself off (yeah; I'm winging the names, so shoot me). Oh my God! We get the first ever reference to murder on DTVA. So; Rebecca's attempted murder line wasn't unique after all. Although Rebecca was at least serious about it while Horsenturtle is merely overstating the toughness of Hollywuz. Hoppo gets about as giddy as DTVA would allow in 1985 and brings out her notepad because she wants his autograph. That's just asking for identity theft there guys. Horsenturtle agrees to it and signs on the notepad. I see the start date on ribbing the TMNT has already happened two years before it really happened. And it STILL FAILED to allow Disney to beat TMNT in the ratings.
Sadly; Hoppo asks too many question and HT basically tells her that he's merely a stand in for a movie star and walks off to play the stampede scene. Hoppo angerly tears up her notebook and then proclaims that they are here at a movie studio. Geez; that didn't look contrived in the very least; no siree! Geez; Hoppo's diva attitude act is so lame that it is isn't even remotely funny. Hoppo waltzes passes the gate with the SHADES OF ROSE COLORED STUPIDITY because it's time for her screen test. This isn't going to end well for Miss Hoppo as we cut to inside the offices of Parabox as we see Wilery MacFlam (I think; Disney rarely gave actual names for the bit players in this series) (half green parrot/half whatever) is on the phone with a star and hires him on the spot. Then we pan over and in storms Hoppo who once again doesn't knock. These Wuzzle fellows are so RUDE! Wiley demands answers for this rudeness and Hoppo responds to that by calling herself his new star and asks for the screen test sign up sheet. Wiley is not amused by this because Hoppo is a demanding rude diva..a part she cannot even play properly! Thankfully; Wiley has enough sense to have her throw out as Moosel is waiting outside on the bag right in the correct spot for Hoppo to be thrown out and squash Moosel flatter than Alexander The Grape. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! If that's all Hoppo is good for in making Moosel look like an abused husband; then Hoppo's (little) creditability is shot right there. And she STILL MISSED him because the luggage buried him to soften the blow. I really HATE BS&P here because they allowed Crock to be squashed and even some of the Wuzzles in the OPENING SEQUENCE and they chicken out here.
Hoppo blows off the Paradox manager and then exchanges pleasure thoughts with Moosel. And HorsenTurtle gets dumped out of the studio on his shell once again and the bumps aren't so good this time. If this wasn't a preschool show, there would be more risks taken here. HT throws his hat down like a girl (a sure sign of a stand in for life) and quits on the spot. Hoppo sees this as MONEY BABEE and hops right in while grabbing the cowboy hat. So we get to the charming 1985 scene changer (charming as in really, really CHEAP) as we head to the set which Gifra (half giraffe and half zebra which is as close to the zeborse I saw in Alysford.) is in the director's chair and invokes the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS to call for the stand in. There is a duck/goat dialog director in there too and it shows that TMS had zero style when it came to ducks. Hard to believe that they would be doing the ultimate cult hit two years later. But Ducktales is another series for another time so let's move on. Hoppo hops in (okay; she's half rabbit, I get it guys!) wearing cowboy gear which inspired Kit in A Star is Torn to don the cowboy gear too; and asks for her motivation which I'm sure went right over the kid's heads (even more so since they are usually 2-6 years old) and the director tells her to jump across a stream (or was it street; the accent was terrible here) and Hoppo is more than giddy about it as she wants her Oscar now before hopping off to do the scene.
We get the director's cut which is the movie “How the Wuz was Won” and finally; someone has a name which is the director Potrzebie. Axolotl is the second name which might or might not be Doctor Axolotl's second job before getting an AWESOME one time shot role in TaleSpin for Bullethead Baloo. The third name is Ecch and I don't have a clue on him. This is take two (which became a third party video game company who managed to screw up the entire industry by not telling Rockstar to get rid of the sex scene in Grand Theft Auto San Andres and causing such a crap-storm that the ESRB lost whatever creditability they EVER had to start with. And they wonder WHY Nintendo is doing what they are doing NOW with Wii?) of the stampede scene and Hoppo just realized that she is screwed and it's the running of the bulls! HAHA! Finally; a good spot to use Hoppo. Maybe this episode will be interesting after all. And they are Bullsels (half bull, half seals) which makes Moosel a mutated off-spring of them by default. Hoppo is face down dizzy in the prone position; probably the best position she has EVER been. Moosel waddles over and consults her which allows Hoppo to violate ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12. Nice little touch of showing horseshoe marks on the dirt ground to make the scene look really good.
We get the clock scene changer (the cheapest one yet) as we head back to the LAND OF WUZ as the babyfaces are standing near Bumblelion's beehive house. Bumblelion has the postcard of lies and reads it to the babyfaces. And now she's Hollywuz Hoppo which means Hollywood Hogan stole from the Wuzzles too proving that he truly is the Orange Goblin. Scott Keith is a freaking genius (although Dave Meltzer isn't too far behind in my view). Hoppo's lying as usual since she replaced a stand in and not a major movie star despite being TOLD that she was a stand in right from the start. I could contribute that to bad writing; but Hoppo's a bad diva so it's her fault as usual. Butterbear thinks it's great and somehow she sounds a bit better here. I guess happiness is the only emotion Kathleen can do properly without screwing it up. Eleroo claims she has hidden talents and Rhinokey cracks another thinly veiled fat joke. Well; at least the animator made his laughing look really cute this time. So we get the clock scene changer as we head to the Prop Department which is not related to props from the 1930's so there you go. Two Peacocks (who look like the animal version of the Rockettes which is apporos since this is 1985 and Wrestlemania I was already done about six months ago.) in dancing clothes enter the Prop department (helpfully labeled as such on the sign on the right hand side of the screen) inside and we then see Hoppo and Moosel pop up hiding behind the sign.
Again; why do they need to be sneaky here? I mean; Hoppo got the damn part so why does she need to be a stalker? And why does Moosel have to lower himself to this crap anyway? Moosel at least shrugs to tell her that she cannot crash the scene because they are already shooting and that she can do it next time. Hoppo of course wants to crash the party like the diva that she is. I wonder if Brittney Spears was watching this in between takes for the Mickey Mouse Club? Oh come on! You know that I was going to rib her in the end? It's not my fault that her life has turned into such a mess that makes Paris Hilton look like a freaking saint! They walk into the Prop Department and into the Dressing Room as Moosel stops beforehand and does the annoying Gruffi pose. I have no idea what the writers are doing here. Is Moosel guarding the place; or is he refusing to go in? I suspect it's the later judging by the fact that Hoppo grabs Moosel and forces him in because she needs him to button her clothes. Why? Because Hoppo is just TOO FAT. We cut to inside the clothing department/dressing room as Hoppo is now wearing a bad Rockette dress which shows the dangers of not exercising. Hoppo wiggles her tail which makes Moosel gulp. That is one big fat disturbing ass Hoppo's got.
Moosel tries to get the thing buttoned up; but Hoppo is still TOO FAT. Moosel manages to button her up; but now her voice is TOO HIGH. Ah; the dangers of eating too much. Moosel then takes the threads and ties up the thing in order to loosen it up an inch which allows Hoppo to sing in a normal voice and dance around. That spot seems a little too fake for my liking guys. Sadly; she sneezes and the button come undone. DUH! Hoppo orders Moosel to button her up and that gets Moosel flustered. I cannot blame the little guy; he taking all the abuse from Hoppo: The bad diva of doom. We head onto the stage (a much more professional one judging by the lack of artwork beyond the stage) as the peacock Rockettes do their dance numbers. And they are not the real Rockettes (although they would probably be sued if they were as good as them anyway so there you go) as we pan over to see Hoppo do a slightly better job at dancing. Another danger of being fat: Looking like the star attraction when it comes to dancing. Thankfully; the security cameras are on her the whole time as Director Wiley sees her and orders his goon to take her off the lot. Sadly; the cheap scene changer prevents any contact whatsoever since BS&P has their fingerprints all over this show and so we head to Butterbear's garden. Wow; I'm surprised that we went three episodes before we saw the Funshine Bear dead ringer for her personality. At least her gimmick is better than her voice.
Butterbear is watering her plants near a fence as the babyfaces arrive with another postcard from Hoppo. How does she find time to write these white lie postcards when Wiley is chasing her out of the studio? I guess Rhinokey's been barred from doing any more scenes in this episode due to his crappy jokes. Cannot blame them for that I guess. And of course it's the cheap scene changer as we head inside the movie lot maze as Hoppo and Moosel are doing the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE OF DOOM with the security goons. The Movie Hogs~ ditch the BAD EPISODE POLICE (a version of the BAD MUSIC POLICE made infamous by Ron Sparks from Video On Trial.) and head inside an empty room containing a weird red rocket ship. I think we can take a guess which movie they are going to crash next as Hoppo and Moosel hop into the rocket ship to cool off and we cut over to C.B. Otter (I think) in the director's chair to roll the next scene and that the explosive charges are ready. I thought explosions of any kind were too dangerous in a preschool show? The rocket ship rises to the air (which makes no sense since the director should have SEEN Moosel and Hoppo enter which makes this logic break #2 for the episode.) and then the laser show of doom plus really bad explosions miss the rocket ship completely. Boy; even the explosions have been “BS&P Wuzzified”. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Moosel and Hoppo are in a panic (not really as they look calmer than most DTVA characters. Even Kit for that matter.) as they are in Steven Steelberg's (do you get a feeling that the writers are JEALOUS of this Steven fellow?) rocket ship and they are in big trouble as usual. Moosel hopes it's the taco burger which I'm SHOCKED MacDonalds or Taco Bell hasn't tried that as a PR stunt yet. I guess they both respect Disney too much for the lawsuits that would sure follow after this. Or maybe not. Hoppo puts on the goofy space helmet and now Steven is noticing her which shows how blind or dumb he really is. Must be one of those causal players that Sustainers love to mock. More laser show antics and the rocket ship gets nailed good and the rocket ship explodes of course. Sadly; BS&P wouldn't let Hoppo and Moosel die like they would in real life and they hang onto the ship. Well; this show is basically wuzzed up so I guess it is apporos. Hanna Barbera running sound and looping effect occurs as Moosel and Hoppo free fall and take a nasty off-screen MAN-SIZED bump onto the ground. Finally; a good spot from Telecom for a change although this HB stuff should be beneath them even at this point judging by Gummi Bears.
I guess Telecom's B-team is working on this show as we get another scene changer which leads to another postcard white lie session from the babyfaces back at Bumble's beehive. And once again; Rhinokey is not here. I guess he just found out that Moosel and Hoppo hate his jokes as much as I do and doesn't care if they live or die. Kind of like people not caring about games because they are confused at video games and Mr. Hardcore call them stupid as a result. I bow down at Sean Malstorm's feet for his genius in business and actual common sense (that actually is rooted in reality. Although he has gone off the deep end in recent years.). The babyfaces wants some of the action and BumbleLion ponders that thought. UH OH! Hoppo is going to be blown off for her lies about Hollywuz being such a blast. Butterbear sezs nothing (but does the wiggle eyes spot) and that's a good thing thank you very much. Don't let her talk for the rest of the series; that's all I ask. Scene changer ensues and we see Hoppo and Moosel hiding behind a green door (from the BAD EPISODE POLICE no doubt) as Moosel wants Hoppo to give up already. Hoppo blows him off and refuses to retire from movie making. Where's Shawn Michaels to put her out of her misery WHEN WE REALLY NEED HIM? We cut to inside as we head to the Olympic swimming pool as director Peter Parabox (who so happens to be the business manager of Parabox Studios to boot as shown in his first appearance with Hoppo earlier) proclaims this to be the finale and it will make the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH at the Box Office. Okay; this might not suck.
Peter calls for action and we cut to the diving board as Hoppo hops onto the diving board. I don't understand the point of wearing a bathing suit since all of the Wuzzles (including the females) are butt naked anyway. No wonder this show tanked. And hopping on the diving board is not a cool way to get over because it makes you look like a dangerous freak. I'm just pointing that out to Hoppo. I don't care if she's half-rabbit; she's still a character and she's pretty much doing nothing good even in her own gimmick. And the diving board breaks because she's TOO FAT; what a shock?! Hoppo free-falls just in time for Stan The Narrator Freberg to blow her off and she does a really good dive into the pool which is shocking in itself. However; Hoppo's splashing, which swamps Peter Parabox pretty much negates any good will left in this episode. Peter calls for the guards and the movie hogs get thrown out of the studio once again and take some nasty on-screen MAN-SIZED bumps onto the ground outside. Sadly; nothing was broken so it is somewhat negated. Moosel tells Hoppo that it's time to call it quits and I agree with him because Hoppo's creditability as a diva is completely shot here. I mean; she's basically a dense idiot now. Sadly; Hoppo calls it quits on Peter Paradox and wants another studio to go to. However; she does decide to slow down to dry off so she doesn't get a head cold. Oh; how nice of her. NOT!
Moosel gives her a white hanky and she sneezes into it blowing Moosel away. Ov vey there guys. I hope Moosel does me proud in Moosel's Monster because this episode should be put out of it's misery. Paging Shawn Michaels; you're needed here....Another terrible scene changer (mind you this cartoon came out at the same time Gummi Bears came out and it had better scene changer) and we head to the hotel (which is broken down I might add; which is the best sign that Hoppo is all washed up. Nice to see the writers put some effort into the story even if the performers are below par here.) and head inside as Hoppo is reading the TELEGRAM OF DOOM from Bumblelion on the bed while Moosel does ALL THE WORK of carrying her luggage. I think it's safe to say who Baloo was exchanging notes with backstage before TaleSpin was released. Hoppo reads the telegram and gulps because the babyfaces are coming to Hollywuz tomorrow to see her and Moosel realizes that they are screwed big time. Stan points this out as well as Hoppo flops on the bed which does the silly CONTRIVED SPOT OF THE DAY (in this case; the bed flipping squash wall spot) to end the segment 15 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the gate of Paradox Studios as Hoppo is against the wall as Narrator Stan would say. Actually she's up against the gate or fence which means there's the INTENTIONAL MISTAKE OF DOOM from Narrator Stan. Moosel is with her wearing some cool Hawaiian shirt that I bet Dale will steal and shrink and dye for his show. He's also wearing the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT which shows how cool and over he REALLY is. Hoppo hides behind a conveniently placed bush (oh how contrived can you get guys?!) as Moosel is to take orders from her. See; she's hiding because she doesn't want them to know that she's a flop and that she lied to them. Well; the second part is what I made up but in this case it's still correct. And here come the babyfaces in Bumblelion's truck as I see that they got some of the CONTINUITY straight in this episode at least. Moosel is reading the NEWSPAPER OF FRAUD (hint: Hoppo's picture is on the back of the pages) and greets the babyfaces. Sadly the picture falls out and animation mistake occurs since the background of Hoppo's picture is green when it should be white because it's a B&W picture. How can a professional studio like TMS make THAT kind of mistake? So it's the Telecom D-team working on this series now? That's just peachy.
Moosel lies that Hoppo is bushed because she's making movies day and night according to the obvious lie. At least Moosel is now carrying the episode which is good since it's been pretty messy thus far. The babyfaces want to see her; but she's doing more stuff according to Moosel. Bumbelion sees this as a disappointment so Moosel suggests that they take the Hollywuz Bus Tour to see all the famous landmarks of Hoppo. Yeah; there's one big lie all wrapped into one. And no surprise; the babyfaces sells it and leaves. We then see Hoppo pop out of the contrived bushes and tell Moosel that there is still work to do. So that logically leads to the WAX MUSEUM OF DOOM as the tour bus (which looks like a yellow London bus) stops there and everyone goes in. We cut to inside the Wax Museum to a stand where Lamzi's wax figure is standing on a pedstal and Hoppo's fatass arms take her away. Thief! Hoppo then stands onto the stand just in time for the HogWart bus director to arrive. Butterbear happily corrects him that it's Hoppo and not Squirrely McLamb (?sp). UGH! That's a terrible name! Lamzi MacSquirrely would have been a slightly cooler name as the babyfaces (plus Rhinokey on condition that he doesn't crack any more bad jokes) are in awe.
Eleroo is amazed which allows Rhinokey to crack another thinly veiled fat joke on her (so much for that promise). Disney needs to muzzle him for the rest of the episode and maybe the series if he is going to continue doing unfunny and borderline dull fat jokes. Hoppo punishes him with eye contact violence of course while being as stiff as possible. WartBog decides to play game and leaves with the babyfaces in tow without any further eye contact violence from Hoppo. Moosel pops out and the movie hogs exit and head to another bad scene changer.We head to someone's rich house as Hoppo manages to hop over the gate (with a lot of pushing ass from Moosel) as Moosel tells her that they'll NEVER get away with this. It's much funnier when the babyfaces are using that cliché on babyfaces rather than the heels. Hoppo blows it off because she's screwed as a Hollywuz star. Hoppo runs to the front steps of the rich house (Hey; that house looks familiar for some reason) as the tour bus arrives just to screw with the tour bus director's mind. Okay; this is pretty funny as Hoppo blows kisses at them. She is such a nasty trespassing little diva. Oh; and Moosel is hiding behind the bushes; ashamed that he is now beneath Hoppo on the “Why did I do this?” scale.
The babyfaces cheer anyway and the pop is so bad that she was better off if the crowd was dead. Hoppo does some looks and then we head to the badly animated (by TMS' standards as this would be AWESOME for Kennedy Cartoons) bus riding sequence to waste more time. Finally; the first scene changer that is actually good for a change as we get a shot of a billboard featuring Cleopotamus. Wow; even in 1985, midriffs and bras were STILL allowed in DTVA. I guess this is the forbidden sexual content that DTVA loves to slip in for a time or two in their shows. We then go behind the billboard as Moosel invokes the rip saw to cut the head of Cleo from the billboard. Hoppo is wearing Cleo's headdress and demanding Moosel to hurry up. Hey; Moosel is cutting metal here and the DIAMOND SAW OF DOOM has it's limits Miss Bad Diva. Give him a break! Moosel questions the moral decision of this and Hoppo blows it off as the hole is finally cut and Hoppo sticks her head into it and poses as we go to the right hand side shot of the billboard. I guess they painted over the name of the Biggest Star of Stars BEFORE cutting the hole so no logic break there. Although you could say that there is a logic break since Hoppo is just TOO FAT to overtake a bus so that good grace is negated.
Hoppo tells Moosel to hide as the tour bus rolls on and the babyfaces notice Hoppo's mug on the sign. They go out of sight as Moosel magically shows up OUT OF NOWHERE (and that's logic break #3 since the babyfaces should have seen Moosel since they were STILL looking at the bill board.) and tells Hoppo that they are gone. Hoppo tries to get her head unstuck and of course...say it with me...she is just TOO FAT. Moosel goes from behind and grabs the DIAMOND SAW OF DOOM and cut Cleo's figure allowing Hoppo to be unstuck and take a MAN-SIZED bump onto the dirt road. I think we can safely say that Hoppo is screwed right now before seeing the rest of this episode. And thankfully; it's Moosel doing it. Moosel and Hoppo run quickly as the clock scene changer (Well back to crappy scene changers again) as the tour bus makes it to gates of Parabox Studios. The bus tour director continues his spiel and we see the GANG OF WUZ in awe because this is where Hoppo makes her chaos...Errr..I mean movies here. Bumblelion wonders which movie she is making next and Rhinokey just plain insults me by doing a really obvious fat joke and a pun on Son of Flubber which Disney Live Action made.
Sadly; we see Hoppo (still wearing the Cleo gallstone around her neck) and Moosel make it to the gates but they are too late. Sadly; the Grim Dog Guards (aka the BAD EPISODE POLICE) are tighten up lest any more stupidity happens with Peter Parabox. So now they have to climb the fence again with Hoppo offering to give a boost to Moosel. Moosel takes the boost and Hoppo screws herself again because Moosel has to deal with Hoppo's additional mass not caused by overeating. Moosel waddles over to the microphone stand. Rats! Even in 1985; I knew that would be used as a finish somehow. Hoppo climbs onto the director's stand and Moosel tries to push the thing up; but Hoppo is JUST TOO FAT! So Moosel floors the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that allows Hoppo to be sling shot over the fence. That wasn't contrived in the very least; no siree! Hoppo does some more backflips as it's FAT WABBIT OUT OF CONTROL as we cut inside to Peter Parabox's office as he is on the phone at his desk. He's pretty pissed off that someone changed the billboard since he has no star named Hoppo. And sadly enough Hoppo takes the MAN-SIZED BUMP WITH CHEESE AND BACON right into the golden pate. Sadly; the animation was off since it looked like Hoppo was going through a window rather than a wall. And sorry; no Joey Styles pun here, I'm saving it for Ducktales and Rescue Rangers since they are more over than this series.
He is pissed off like a mad parrot and he calls for the BAD EPISODE POLICE again as we cut over to the babyfaces following the Hollywuz Bus Tour Director through the lot. Bumblelion asks when they can see Hoppo and the bus tour director blows them off. And here comes Hoppo running away from the BAD EPISODE POLICE right in front of them which should kill the facade right there. The babyfaces follow her (because the autograph hounds are after her so claims fibbing Hoppo) and Hoppo does the throw out spot again (with wussy bumps this time around) which makes no sense whatsoever since the BAD EPISODE POLICE seemly didn't catch up with her and the babyfaces would have been to her first anyway. Logic break #4 for the episode and the first really glaring one at that. Moosel consults her as the babyfaces show up and Hoppo is officially screwed now. Bumblelion wonders what is going on and Hoppo finally confesses that she lied to them because she didn't want them to think that she was a failure. The babyfaces of course forgive her because they are best friends forever (although not in the contrived way like many marketing manager use today; most of them involved with the Bratz live action movie.) and it's somewhat touching, but it doesn't work because Hoppo has no heat or creditability as a diva to show any sympathy. Of course Rhinokey does another thinly veiled fat joke which Hoppo ignores (and thus kills her character as someone who cannot stand his jokes; most so one that basically insults her) and we get the BIG HUG OF DOOM from Hoppo.
Yeah; whatever floats your boat as we head back to the LAND OF WUZ at the theater for King Konkey the Movie. One guess as to what they are parodying and who is the lead role. We head inside as they show a pretty blah scene of a giant ape swiping away an airplane. I see the ribs on TaleSpin have started about five years BEFORE that show existed. And since Rhinokey is no where to be found; it's clearly Hoppo in a monkey costume. Oh those cooky writers; they have SWEVERED US! The curtain falls on the play and Hoppo jumps down to the ground and takes her gorilla mask off. Well; that part does SUIT her. AHHAHAHAHAHA! There; my first rejected Rhinokey joke. The Wuzzles pop for her lest any eye contact violence occurs and we go to the far shot as Narrator Stan does his final narration as the babyfaces join her on stage to end the episode at 21:40. Started off dull as dishwater; but it came back with a nice climax and finish. Sadly; the animators and writers messed up the logic again making yet another solid story look like a mess. It's clear the D-team is working on this series. ** ½ ( 50%)
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; another Wuzzles episode completed and it is yet another solid story buried in a mess. There wasn't as many logic breaks and bad animation spots as the previous two episodes; but they were still pretty glaring. As for the story; it was solid, but Hoppo's performance was really sad to see as she was supposed to be a diva; but even divas know when they are screwed and Hoppo acted all dense in this one killing almost all of her heat and creditability as a demanding diva and making her look like a dense female looking for a part that wasn't coming. Rhinokey is as annoying and insulting as ever; and Butterbear's acting was better, but that was all happiness which seems to be the only emotion Kathleen can do properly.
At least it's the voice instead of the character itself or we would have another Sandy No Sell Sweetcheeks on our hands here. The remaining character went through the motions (which is apporos since Disney seems to be more interested in Hoppo's antics then giving us character development; the only character with any development was Peter Parabox and even he was a gimmick at best) which basically allowed Moosel to carry this episode kicking and screaming into a middling effort at best. While this is not as bad as most of Darkwing Duck's episodes are; the show has been dull for three episodes straight and sometimes that can be worse than a really bad episode like Dances With Bigfoot because at least with DWB it was fun to mock how bad this episode was. Sadly; this was dull and boring which is much harder to mock and therefore you'll be wondering when the fun really begins (good or bad) and not realize that it isn't coming. Thankfully; the next rant I'm doing is Moosel's Monster which should be interesting since Moosel's creative imagination is going to be on full display. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.