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Moosel's Monster

Reviewed: 04/06/2008

My favorite character shows Molly, Cubbi and Sunni a template...


Editor's Note: This is being written under the new Open Office Version 2.4. So; there's my useless update for the week.

So we continue our venture in the Land of Wuz as Moosel becomes the focus character this time around. Hmm; this should be fun. So; let's rant on shall we....?

This episode was written by Ted Perry. There is still no story editor. Ted has only wrote for three episodes: This one, Bionic Six and Disney Adventures of the Gummi Bears. There are claims that he was an actor in A Few Brains More; but I don't believe it for a second.


We begin this episode in the WONDERFUL LAND OF WUSS...ERRR...WUZ as we pan over to the Valley of Wuz and the Appleberry trees where the GANG OF WUZ is picking...Umm...Appleberries. Nova Scotia fans would be proud as we see Rhinokey using the basket to steal Hoppo's appleberries. Well; she is on a sharp diet of water and Wii Fit so I can see why. At least he's not cracking any bad jokes... yet. Good spot from Eleroo as he uses the his own trunk to suck up the appleberries from the trees and then he blows it over the heads of Bumblelion and Butterbear to create an Appleberry Shower~! Then my favorite character in the series Moosel arrives and he's in a panic because he sees big clouds on the horizon that turn into a cloud condor. Now that is classic Moosel: A creative imagination about anything mundane. I just hope Telecom and the logic people don't screw this episode up; or I'm going to really be steamed. About as steamed as a veggie in a hospital bed. AHHAHAHAHAHA! There's the second rejected Rhinokey joke.

Moosel runs away and then does me proud by bumping Rhinokey good and Rhinokey's face goes splat right into the bucket of Appleberries. Sadly; I betcha it won't stop him from cracking anymore bad jokes. More running and he has a meeting of the minds; and it wasn't at the Appleberry Juice Factory. More innocent Appleberries get squashed and somehow I have no sympathy because Moosel is RULING THIS SHOW BABEE! More running which ends with BumbleLion using the UNCREATIVE HAND OF GOD to stop him. Huh? I was hoping that Moosel would squash every Appleberry in sight to prevent a rainstorm. BumbleLion is such a stick in the mud as apparently Moosel has an imagination OUT OF CONTROL! The babyfaces blow off Moosel's Appleberry Jam making skills and sound pretty happy about it. I betcha if this was a Boy Who Cried Wolf episode; the babyfaces would still be dumb enough to rescue him regardless if he was lying or not. That takes BFF (Best Friends Forever) to it's mental extremes here. Bumblelion tells Moosel that he needs to do something about his imagination. Why? That is the best character trait IN THE ENTIRE SERIES?! And you want him TO BURY IT? Not a chance buster as Moosel points to a grove of trees in the background and calls them monsters while they change into Treant type monsters (Trees with faces) in Moosel's own mind of course. Boy; I would love to see Moosel, Cubbi and Cavin get together for an imagination match. Moosel would make the perfect monster maker. No heel thinking needed for Cubbi and Cavin.

Of course the babyfaces see NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Apparently this is the result of two many monster movies. I think it's the result of too many bad pranks from Rhinokey. And Rhinokey's blow off adds creditability to my theory as Moosel pleads with the babyfaces that he is seeing real monsters. No one buys it and Bumblelion orders Moosel to pick his Appleberries AWAY from the babyfaces so he won't run into them anymore. Moosel sulks as he waddles away and I feel sad for him. He tries to say death; but BS&P won't even allow him to finish as his imagination goes on the frizz as he sees a waterfall and the water falling is a Japanese Water Dragon (Moosel mistakes it as a dinosaur). Well; Telecom is from Japan so this is apporos. Moosel is SOO funny and the HB running and looping sound effect makes it even more so. Moosel runs to the top of a hill which makes little sense logic wise; but I don't really care as he runs right on top of a huge rock and if you don't know what happens next then you have no business reading this rant. Moosel runs away from the ROCK ROLLING MONSTER OF HIS OWN CREATION OF DOOM and Rhinokey's tail gets squashed good by it when he is shown picking Appleberries. Sadly; Rhinokey absolutely no sells the whole thing other than holding his tail. So screaming in pain is forbidden in a preschool show. That makes Dora look like a trail blazer in comparison.

Butterbear jumps over the rock successfully which is apporos and then breathes a sigh of relief. More running as Moosel manages to jump over logs and then in a really funny moment manages to get in front of the bouncing rock; only to get in front of it once again. Moosel is just so funny to watch as he passes Bumblelion allowing him to blow off Moosel (BOO! HISS!) and then get squashed by the rock flatter than a pancake (YAY!) . Well; at least his Appleberries are safe from any further jelly smashing. Nice spot from Bumblelion as he pops himself after rolling himself into a mat. More running from Moosel as he runs and hides behind a rock face and the rolling rock rolls past him without further incident. At least in theory since this is Moosel we are talking about here. The rock bounces into the dam and it starts to break and water is coming out of it and that's enough for Bumblelion to finally yell at him for his antics. Finally; someone YELLS in this show. And it took breaking a freakin DAM to do it. Sadly it only lasts for two seconds as the GANG OF WUZ still acts like school teachers nowadays. I wonder if the Department of Education was watching this and getting pointers from it? Moosel apparently takes things way too seriously. I thought Moosel wasn't a theocratic believer; just a hyper creative powerhouse who is actually funny?! The babyfaces all hop away to pick more Appleberries. Umm; excuse me? How about FIXING the DAMN DAM instead? Moosel cannot do it by himself because you know. Of course the babyfaces blows him off and tells him to go home. Moosel's exits stage left and waddles home in despair.

So we logically cut to Moosel's lighthouse as Moosel looks out the window and sulks thinking that no one wants him around anymore. Moosel admits that he would be better off if he gets rid of the monsters inside his head. So; he begins by trashing his monster books and throwing them into the trash. Now that is a bad message to send to your kids nowadays. I mean; those book can be recycled into books that aren't as wasteful as monster books you know. FOR SHAME MOOSEL! And of course there is a knock on the door and he's scared stiff because those DAMN MONSTERS won't get out of his head. Moosel recovers though with the mouth cover spot (which is fine since he did it to himself) and he hears Butterbear's wooden voice. On second thought; PANIC MOOSEL! PLEASE PANIC! Her wooden voice is worse than a monster at this point! Butterbear enters and she has baked an Appleberry Pie for Moosel (How nice of her) and she puts it on the window sill. Moosel oversells the whole thing by sniffing the smell. I love it when characters put a real effort into their roles. Moosel asks for her to stay; but Butterbear cannot as Moosel is still floating around. She still has a lot of baking to do. Moosel then asks if they are still mad at him which is silly because being mad is something Wuzzles cannot seem to do properly minus Bumblelion.

Butterbear sezs they are not and they won't be as long as Moosel controls that best character trait that he has. Butterbear walks out and leaves as Moosel tells her that he is working on it. Good luck on that Moosel. You're going to need it. Butterbear closes the door as she sezs goodbye and Moosel proclaims that there will be no more monsters for him as he does the annoying Gruffi pose. Sadly; that is going to last about thirty seconds as there is a rumble outside the lighthouse so to speak. The LEGAL HAND OF GOD steals Moosel's pie and Moosel cannot believe it as he claims that it's his imagination stealing the pie. Sadly; we cut to outside and it's a real red water dragon snake as Stan proclaims that Moosel now has two problems to solve as Moosel looks out and the DragonSnake eats his pie and dives into the water which ends the segment about seven and a half minutes in. Now this is more like it guys!

After the commercial break; we head back to the Lighthouse as Moosel retraces his step to rationally explain how his pie got stolen by his imagination even though it was a real DragonSnake who stole his pie and ate it. And Moosel uses the trusty telescope to gain more points with me. He still cannot shake this imagination of a monster in his head despite seeing a real one. Too funny as Moosel becomes assertive. See; he is still letting his imagination run wild because he thinks the monster is not real when the monster who stole his pie IS real (well in the Wuzzles canon anyway). Moosel decides to walk outside and waddles to his swimming pool where he dives off the diving board and shows a million times more style and grace than Hoppo did in Hooray For HollyWuz. He jumps up into the air with the greatest of ease and bumps right into Crock's BirdDog. So this is going to be a running joke for the series eh? The BirdDog being dumb enough to take bumps off of Wuzzles' characters. Moosel free falls down towards the lake (or ground depending on what mood I was in when I was writing this rant) and splashes into the water. Nice spot in doing a somersault before entry. Moosel does some swimming to waste some time; but the SnakeDragon's nose picks him up from the icy waters and Moosel's mind is about to become screwed again.

Stan ponders the question and Moosel panics right on cue after the narration. Moosel runs away (DUH!) onto the serpent's body (a dragon eel combination so sezs Narrator Stan) and then runs into the hills right into the Forbidden AppleBerry valley once again. He then stops on a dime and proclaims that nothing is happening so he can stop running and just take a walk. Moosel's imagination is so wild; he even thinks that real things are fake. Moosel walks just as the DragonSnake follows him and Moosel continues to deny that it is real and is merely an optical illusion. Geez; careful with the complex speaking there Moosel. This is a preschool show and even TaleSpin got screwed (which wasn't a preschool show). Sadly; DragonSnake screams out in pain (so Dragon Snake gets away with it; but Rhinokey doesn't) and that forces Moosel to hide behind a tree. Moosel almost screams again but recovers and walks away without a care in the world. Did I mention how much I love Moosel as a character? DragonSnake follows him and I'm SHOCKED the babyfaces haven't noticed that Moosel is BACK IN THE VALLEY! It ends with DragonSnake sticking it's mouth open wide in front of Moosel and Moosel doesn't notice until he's halfway inside. He prays for DragonSnake to go away because he's only a figment of Moosel's imagination and DragonSnake is still crying. We then see the problem as one of his fangs is bouncing which is a cartoon signal for a toothache. In real life; the tooth would be dirty and all yellow.

Moosel calls the tooth ache not real and waddle away stage right as the DragonSnake cries out in more pain. This Moosel fellow need to get his reality meter fixed big time. Then again; the best aspect of Moosel would be gone and Moosel would be just another nothing character in the WONDERFUL LAND OF WUSS..ERR..WUZ. Stan seems to be at a loss at making this out as Moosel finally decides to stop selling (sort of) and pull out the tooth which he still proclaims it to be fake. I guess the Dragon Snake has arms despite not seeing them half of the time. Moosel gets onto his body and blows him off for not being real. I'm sure PZ Meyers would be proud of this Moosel fellow (which would be ironic on SO MANY LEVELS); so the DragonSnake cries some more which is helpfully pointed out by Narrator Stan. Moosel finally decides to help him; but cannot decide how to do it because the dragon is not real. No wonder Oscar Proud is so screwed up (for those who don't get that; in an episode of The Proud Family; Oscar decided to put his arm out and let the flames nail it on a thrill ride despite repeat warnings that the flames are real. “Those flames are not real” as he would say. Let's just say that he burned to ashes and leave it at that.). Moosel cuts a reality versus fantasy promo which earns him a dragon sized lick right in the kisser. Yeah; that line between reality and fantasy has just been erased. See; the dragon didn't make contact with him until right there; thus assuring that the dragon was real in Moosel's mind. Nice writing there guys. He wants to tell the guys; but recoils and then decides not to help the dragon now because he's still not real. This is getting silly now as Moosel hops off the dragon and walks away without a care. So that logically leads to..

....Hoppo's house as we head inside to see Hoppo singing at the mirror like the bad diva that she is. And as expected; the mirror shatters. HAHA! You have no one but yourself to blame for that one Hoppo. Hoppo runs out for no reason whatsoever as we head to Rhinokey's house (which seems to be gaining a river since we last saw the house) as Rhinokey is inside hearing a strange noise and proclaims that it's enough to scare the (bad) jokes right out of him. If only Rhinokey. If only. We head straight to Eleroo's house which actually has an airplane stuck in the top front window. Now that what I call having style and grace there as we head inside as Eleroo is near his love seat fishing out an apple-banana (which has to be the most contrived fusion I have seen in this series so far) and he hears the noise. He runs outside throwing away a good tasting; but contrived looking fruit. We then cut to outside as we head to Butterbear's garden (where else?) feeding appleberries so a sunflower daisy who just happens to be the first plant anthro. She hears the noise and starts running away as we logically go to Bumblelion's house and see Bumblelion on top of his beehive with the binoculars (first one in DTVA BABEE!) as he proclaims that the dam is bursting. And you are JUST NOTICING THIS NOW?! Even though you clearly said that the dam was damaged about ten minutes earlier? There is logic break #1 for the episode and the first one I really don't accept. There goes the chance for a perfect episode in this series right there guys.

The babyfaces arrive along with Rhinokey driving Bumblelion's car. I guess Bumblelion allowed Rhinokey to borrow it during runs at the improv. Rhinokey gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY (what a dumb ape) and the babyfaces all get into the car and race towards the dam. Well; that was pretty short. And of course; you know the episode is dying when the bad scene changer arrives as we cut to the dam where Eleroo checks out the damage as the dam is wuzzing really badly so to speak. Now that gives new meaning to taking a leak. AHHAHAHAHAHA!! There's the third rejected Rhinokey joke. Speaking of Rhinokey; he tries the plug hole with finger trick on the damn dam and of course it fails like almost all of his bad jokes. Bumblelion tries the hammer board spot and that fails even worse than almost all of Rhinokey's bad jokes. Bumblelion bails and tells Eleroo that they need some rocks. So BumbleLion and Eleroo bail which leads to the obvious question: Why not phone the contractor who BUILT THE DAMN DAM IN THE FIRST PLACE? Eleroo tries to find a tree and pull it out; but the Gruffi pose assures that it will fail. Umm; why aren't you looking for rocks?! Logic break #2 for the episode and please go back to Moosel for God's sakes. Thankfully; Bumblelion declares that they are saved since the BeaverRac's are cutting them down for them in the next shot. Geez; that isn't contrived in the very least no siree!

Eleroo then presents another problem: getting the logs down there to plug up the dam. Rhinokey's taxi cab arrives just in time which presents logic break #3 since it should be Bumblelion's car. Oh; great, three logic breaks in the last 90 seconds. This isn't a Ruby-Spear show I'm supposed to be watching guys. They exchange notes as time is wasting. Eleroo is worried so Rhinokey doesn't have to although Rhinokey should be worried if he doesn't get arrested for attempted joke fixing. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Bumblelion ponders and Rhinokey blows him off because it could take a long time. Thankfully; BumbleLion screws him by declaring that they need rope. That's a great idea and then as an added bonus you can hang yourself when you fail. AHHAHAHAHAHA! See; rejected Rhinokey jokes are more cool than the REAL Rhinokey jokes. BumbleLion goes over to Rhinokey and asks him how much time they have and Rhinokey states that it could take a long time and right on cue the dam looks so bloated that it's going to burst at any minute which is enough for Rhinokey to speed off to the storehouse in town. Codeword: BatRat's HOUSE OF SKIS. Bumblelion even pushes the car for added effect as we get a shot of the bloated dam as Narrator Stan calls this problem not what it is cracked up to be to end the segment 13 minutes in. So we got another eight minutes left in this episode. How charming?!

After the commercial break; we go to the pan shot of Appleberry Valley as we see Moosel sitting on a rock pondering how to separate reality from fantasy. Even Narrator Stan is having trouble with it which is a lie of course since the DragonSnake hasn't disappeared yet. Moosel slides down the rock and lands in one of the deep tracks while continuing to deny the DragonSnake's existence. I know it's plain wrong to make fun of someone's imagination; but Moosel is so funny to watch so I cannot help myself. A fused animal gets on the DragonSnake's back and then panics to see it and runs away like a scalded BirdDog. He still cannot believe that this thing is real despite all the evidence pointing to it that it is real. Moosel would be perfect for a psychology class I swear to God. Sadly the bouncing tooth ache is still a problem and even Moosel must admit to that at least. DragonSnake blows him off by crying when he calls him not real and Moosel admits that he needs to help him and decides to bail to see what he can do. On the promise that he doesn't tell anyone because they won't believe him. DragonSnake promises and Moosel proclaims that they need a strong rope to pull the tooth out which allows DragonSnake to talk for the first time (Yeah! Yeah!) and they walk into town where the whole town is deserted. Moosel blows it off and I wonder: How can everyone be gone when only the babyfaces was at the dam? Probably it's their six week vacation from Moosel's psychopathic imagination. AHHAHAHAHA!

DragonSnake's bouncing tooth continue to cause pain for him and Moosel agrees with him. Moosel gets his bearing and than realizes that the rope is in the storehouse. UH OH! This is not good for that damn dam as they say. Moosel waddle runs (how else?) in a funny matter and DragonSnake follows him to the storehouse (helpfully labeled as such) which is now BatRat's HOUSE OF SKIS sadly. Ah shucks! Moosel comes out from the wooden double door with the rolled up rope and it's another clock scene changer as we cut to the Appleberry Valley where Moosel rolls the rolled up rope up a hill and struggles. Now here is where Hoppo would be useful; but she's in the groupthink that Moosel is a psychopath so Moosel is screwed. Thankfully; Dragon Snake's RED HAND OF GOD grabs the rope and puts it onto the jagged rock. Moosel hops up and makes a lasso onto it. Moosel then invokes the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE and it attaches to the bouncing tooth. Moosel then kicks the wooden roll of rope down the hill to roll the rope out some more and tells him that there are no painkillers here which SHOCKS me since I have never heard that word being used anywhere in DTVA since. Moosel got off the first drug reference in DTVA. So that logically leads to another bad scene changer to punish him (and me I guess) and we cut to the big tree as the rope is completely dislodged from the wooden roll.

Moosel hops over and ties the rope to the big treewhile still proclaiming that his friends will never believe this. Finally Rhinokey waltzes in asking Moosel for the rope and he sees DragonSnake and panics like a maniac. Now we can hope that it will scare the jokes out of him to prove his theory; but I wouldn't hold my breath over it. Rhinokey bails behind the big tree and tries to demands answers; but the Dragon Snake won't let him string a proper word let alone sentence. Wow; some actual good acting from Rhinokey for a change. Moosel blows him off because he doesn't realize that the Dragon Snake is real; much Oscar Proud not believing that those flames are real. Rhinokey tells Moosel to see a doctor and runs away like a scalded Rhinomonkey. Kind of like the time when he MURDERED the audience. AHHAHAHAHA! Moosel tries to call him back but no dice as he hears a rumble and that forces Moosel to waddle run to the jagged rock. He then looks off and notices that the dam is in big trouble (caused by his imagination no less!) and he runs off to help them. However; the RED HAND OF GOD grabs him to stop him because the bouncing bad tooth ache is still bothering him. DragonSnake gives him the rope and Moosel is forced to encounter another bad scene changer and tie the rope to the tree. Wait a minute?! Didn't he already do that earlier?! Logic break #4 for the episode. Is there some requirement that there must be at least five logic breaks in every episode?!

Dragon Snake then slides away to pull on the rope tight; but that allows the tree to be uprooted and fly right into Dragon Snake's kisser and that dislodges the bouncing tooth hard. Excellent bump and sell there guys. The tooth flies away and misses Moosel by about five feet as it lands hard onto the ground while Moosel is scared stiff prone onto the ground. Moosel then stops selling and wipes his hands clean of this incident and waddle runs stage left to the dam. Dragonsnake ponders as we return to the dam and it's as bloated as ever. Bumblelion is all wet for goodness knows what reason and in slides safe Rhinokey minus the rope. Rhinokey tells them that he actually saw one of Moosel's monsters (hence the episode title starting a tradition) and Bumblelion blows him off as one of his bad jokes. If only it was a joke Bumble. Rhinokey insists that it's a monster and Bumble blows him off because Moosel's imagination is catching. Rhinokey thinks that they think he is crazy. Well; there's a real comment if I ever saw one. Moosel arrives and BumbleLion blows him off for making Rhinokey see monsters and Moosel asserts himself that he has never saw any real monster earning Rhinokey the eye contract violence from Bumblelion. Too funny as Bumblelion tries to blow off Rhinokey again; but Rhinokey twists his head right on the exact cue that Dragon Snake's SHADOW OF DOOM shows up and Bumblelion's facade of courage and bravery dies right on cue. Champ Bear would never stoop to such lows.

The entire GANG OF WUZ runs away like a bunch of wussy Wuzzles. Everyone hides in the coverings in a long drawn out scene except for Moosel of course who doesn't suspect a thing despite being in league with a real monster. This is just too funny to watch as Moosel blows them off for being scared of his imagination. Bumblelion cannot believe that he's been called out by the guy who he called out and tells Moosel that the monster is real. Moosel absolutely no-sells that and responds with the Gruffi pose and then turns around and asks if DragonSnake is real. The DragonSnake admits that he is and Moosel pets his nose because he is the nicest monster in the LAND OF WUZ. Sadly; the pleasure thoughts must end because the dam is this close to bursting (and they still haven't blame Moosel for it). Moosel asks for DragonSnake to help and DragonSnake agrees to with a wink. He looks at the bloated dam and then slides over to the mountain top and cuts a cone out of it. He then throws it in front of the dam and that's enough to stop it. Uh; okay, although that looks a wee bit contrived there. BumbleLion and Rhinokey cannot believe this as Moosel and DragonSnake exchange notes (well Moosel mostly actually). Moosel hugs him as the babyfaces run down the hill and they thank DragonSnake for all of his efforts to save the LAND OF WUZ from the BURSTING DAMN DAM OF DOOM.

Moosel is put down onto the ground off-screen and DragonSnake waves goodbye to the babyfaces. Moosel sezs his goodbye in a pretty touching spot and then waddles off stage right looking like he's sulking again. Dragon Snake uses the RED HAND OF GOD to scoop him up and Dragon Snake gives him one last kiss on the cheek before putting him down onto the ground again this time on-screen in front of the babyfaces. The babyfaces wave goodbye and Dragon Snake does a huge dive with somersault (the same one Moosel did earlier) and he dives into the water and out of the episode. Moosel pulls the tooth over to the babyfaces and starts explaining the story of his encounter of the Dragon Snake And we just couldn't end this show without Rhinokey cracking another bad joke. Moosel sits on the giant tooth and laughs it off as he continues his half-truth story. We pan over to the babyfaces and then they flop to the ground in laughter just to annoy me as Narrator Stan ends the episode at 21:40. This is the best episode of the series bar none and I don't think anything is going to top it. (Note From The Future: It wasn't.) Moosel was AWESOME here and is was put together a lot better than the last three episodes. **** ( 80%)


THE REVIEW LINE

Finally; an episode that looks as good as any episode on DTVA and it was all due to Moosel who basically went out there and was himself. He created an imagination that was so out of control that when he got it completely under control (through the absoluteness of his friends) he basically couldn't tell the difference between reality and fantasy. Moosel was a blast in every way; from panicking and running from false danger, the waddle run, Moosel's attempt to get monsters out of his mind, Moosel's imagination running wild despite all attempts to get it under control and his overall calmness when he's faced with real danger Another solid story for the most part with really good animation from TMS and the logic breaks were fewer in number this time around; although a few of them were still pretty glaring. Still; the other major flaw was that the other characters (Bumblelion and Eleroo) simply have no heat for me to care about them. Butterbear's voice is still wooden, Hoppo is a dense diva and Rhinokey still tells bad jokes. We are currently a third of the way there and ¾'s of the cast is not performing properly. This is not a good sign as we go into the sixth episode in the series. And my patience is wearing thin. Otherwise......

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

 

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