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Klutz On The Clutch
Reviewed: 04/12/2008
Sounds like Antita trying to rationize her actions in 101 Dalmations: The Animated Series...
Well; let's continue on without any witty retort. Much less useless talk that way...
The episode is written by Ken Koonce and David Weimers. The story is edited by Dick, Jane and Spot.
We begin this one in the WONDERFUL LAND OF WUSS..ERRR...WUZ as we see Rally banners for the Wuzzle 500 all over the village which pretty much gives away the story well in advance. We cut as everyone is getting ready for something special according to Narrator Stan. Sadly; that includes Rhinokey as Stan cracks one of his rejected jokes to make Rhinokey look even worse as he is driving his car. Now there is the ultimate contestant for Canada's Worst Driver. He's so bad the show would be canceled due to the fact that is no one worse than him. How bad is he? He's so bad the car chokes to save it's own life. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Bumblelion is sitting in the back seat which ponders the question: Who is worse: Rhinokey's bad driving or Bumblelion's brain for being in the back seat while Rhinokey's driving? If you are going to be a bad driver in a cartoon; at least have the decency to make contact with the ladder with Hoppo on it while she hanging banners. Yeah; I know, it's a preschool cartoon. They exchange notes and somehow Bumblelion seems sick. Must be a form of Joke Stroke. AHHAHAHAHAHA! He manages to stop right in front of the wooden ladder; thus denying me a chance to hear Hoppo scream to her death. Which means I still have to deal with her for the rest of the series. Hoppo blows him off because he could have caused an accident according to her? If I was with Safe Communities still; I'd come into the cartoon and blow her off (that's the only way with that diva). I would stand up to her eye contact violence as well which would show just how weak her character is.
Bumblelion proclaims that it's her only ladder and Rhinokey cracks another thinly veiled fat joke which Hoppo somehow takes offense to it. It took you like SIX episodes to finally realize that he is cracking fat jokes at ya?! You are not fat; just way too dense. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm; moving right along as Bumble exchanges more notes and Hoppo proclaims that she'll be done so early; she'll be able to sing the Wuz National Anthem. Yeah; and then Rosanne Barr can steal your singing and use it on the American National Anthem and unintentionally disgrace that song. Rhinokey blows off Hoppo's singing and that's the third good spot Rhinokey has done in this series thus far. Hoppo exchange pleasure thoughts with Bumblelion and Bumblelion orders Rhinokey that it is time to leave to find a singer and the car speeds off allowing Bumble to get one last over sell of a car going way too fast in the process. Nice spot building there as Hoppo blows him off calling him Bumble Bigshot Lion. See; Bumblelion has a unspoken crush on Butterbear and she will sing. Well; considering that it takes happiness to sing a national anthem Kathleen might have her best five minutes of fame right there.
We get a road riding sequence and then it's off to the middle of the road where Moosel is using the CLEANING ROAD MACHINE OF DOOM to clean and smooth the pavement. HOLY SMOKES! Now there is a machine Nova Scotia needs to get rid of those pesky potholes. Moosel is truly an awesome character. His whistling is still too funny as the BumbleCar stops on a dime and Moosel blows off Rhinokey's bad driving and vandalizing the streets. Now that is just too freaking funny as the RhinoCar tip toes off the street in a really funny spot. Bumblelion calms Moosel down and the car speeds away. That is pretty much the best part of the episode right there as we get the causal (which is a nice way of saying dumb) scene changer and we cut over to Butterbear's garden as she is watering and grooming her Wuzzle plants with tender loving care. She apparently using her jamming machine to make Appleberry pie and here comes bad singing Hoppo to talk to bad talking Butterbear. Now there's a comedy troupe if I ever heard one: ButterHoppo Bear. AHHAHAHAHA! See; I can fuse words too Disney!
They exchange notes and then Hoppo asks for a favor and Butterbear gives her a pie in which Hoppo refuses...and then takes it and eats it whole. Man; Hoppo has got JAWS OF STEEL BABEE if she is eating that pie whole. And she uses the word Wuzzleful just to annoy me. Anyone who thinks using duck words like Quackeroonie and Duckberg are terrible have NEVER watched this show. At least in Ducktales; they mixed the words quite a bit. Here; it's all wuzzle this and wuzzle that. And of course Butterbear refuses to give up her spot because she is doing the concession stands. And now Butterbear is as REALLY STUPID as Drake is since Hoppo asked to sing and that really upsets Hoppo which is REALLY STUPID in itself because there is no one except Hoppo available to sing the Wuzzle National Anthem. Nice way to make both characters look like idiotic jerks there guys.
Thankfully; the good scene changer shows up before any more stupidity occurs. Sadly; it now goes to Crock in the road as he has his periscope set up (HOLY SMOKES! This is really getting good invention-wise) as we pan over to Brat and Flizard setting up a toll booth in the middle of the street. Well; that gives the creators of Teddy Ruxpin something to steal about three years later. Flizard wonders what this toll booth is for as he is putting up a purple letter sign just to make it more gay I guess. Crock gleefully answers that (it's for the MONEy, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH; what a surprise?!) because they are trespassing near his house. Okay; that is somewhat heelish as we we get the scene changer and it's the car driving sequence in profile for the RhinoCar. We cut over to two Beaverbirds eating some wooden trees on the road and of course Bumblelion tells Rhinokey to look out and covers his eyes. Rhinokey turns the wheel and the cars goes into a backwards tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) just in order to get that spot in for the first time. The RhinoCar bounces into the log and that allows the power of suggestion to knock the ugly trophy out of the RhinoCar and bounces into the abyss below. Somehow the car stops on a dime and the idiot drivers get out. See; Rhinokey is the frontseat driver while Bumblelion is the backseat driver. AHHAHAHAHHA!
Now they have lost a pointless trophy and they get back into the Rhinocar and drive to Eleroo. Bumblelion wants to do this nice and slow. Just like his leaking creditability as a babyface as we get the scene changer and return to Moosel cleaning the roads again. If they just showed Moosel doing this for 22 minutes; this episode would easily be a ***** episode. Moosel panics because there are RoadHogs eating the road which is the first good fusion pun they have gotten in the episode not named a character. Narrator Stan pretty much sums it up and calls their love for the road a street tooth. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Moosel waddle bails from his cleaning machine and waddle runs to go warn Bumblelion. So that logically leads to Eleroo putting up a banner and then climbing up with the banner to avoid getting run over by Rhinokey's lack of driving skills. Honestly; who taught him to drive; Spongebob SquarePants?! Yeah; I went there so shoot me. The goofy drivers with attitude get out as Eleroo nicely blows off Rhinokey's driving skills. Wisdom means never having to yell. No joke there so no laugh spot from me. Well; only Bumblelion gets out as the real idiot driver speeds off to get the Rhinokey Roadster fixed. Yeah; something needs to be fixed all right; something like his driving skills.
Bumblelion blows him off for his lack of driving ethnics as he asks Eleroo for a grand prize and Eleroo agrees to look in his pouch. EWWWWWW! That's like inviting Rhinokey to a concert starring Humor. AHHAHAHAHA! And why he would keep a tire in his pouch is beyond my state of thinking at this point. And he finally ate that AppleBanana from Moosel's Monster! Smart move there fellows. Eleroo thinks he has something and it's the old logic break spot of having Bumblelion grabbed inside Eleroo's pouch like a rabbit being pulled out of his hat. That takes redo spots to a whole high level of silliness. Even Rhinokey's too jokey to try that spot. Bumblelion finally finds a trophy and it's Eleroo's great grandfather's trophy that he had when he won the race. Bumblelion promises that he'll get it back because Rhinokey is a shoo-in to win the Wuzzle 500 because there are no safety rules for him to follow right?! Eleroo teases a bit and then agrees to give it to him; giving us our reason to do this plot. Boy; this is really wussy. Care Bears The Nelevana Edition did a great job with this plot as having the winner be king for a day making Beastly look like a legit threat for one episode before they whizzed that away in other episodes. Here comes Moosel running like a maniac (what a shock?!) as Bumblelion wants answers to this and Moosel proclaims that he isn't running for the Wuzzle Rally because there won't be one due to Road Hogs. Moosel grabs Bumblelion and speeds away stage left. Since Moosel is so MONSTER OVER; this logically leads to inside Rhinokey's TEMPLE OF JOKES (his garage) as he is putting the finishing touches on his Rhinokey Roadster. Which means putting a steel horn on the front of his roadster while laughing. You know he is out of bad jokes when he doesn't CRACK one here.
Rhinokey puts on his helmet and jumps into the Rhinokey Roadster and drives out for a test drive..which is a nice way of saying demolition derby. AHHAHAHAHAHA! I don't think Hanna Barbera would be amused by the use of their sound effects in this cartoon either as Rhinokey steps on the gas (gleefully said as such by Rhinokey) and we race off. Cut to the middle of the street as Crock is walking down it for no reason whatsoever. Nice parallax scrolling in the background which the SNES would later use to death as Rhinokey speeds by him without making any contact whatsoever other than blow wind in Crock's face. Because that is what this episode needs: More windbags! Lots of driving as his mean machine (so sezs Crock) flies into the sky and lands right into the river with a sputter. It drives out of the river and rides on as we head to the road where the Road Hogs are as Moosel is panicking again (because he has a creative imagination which is a nice phrase meaning he's a psychopath.). Bumblelion proclaims that they will need to coax them off the road and thankfully; the Rhinokey Roadster of Doom arrives right on time to force them to run like scalded hogs or in real life; ham. AHHAHAHAHA!
Yeah; that one wasn't even remotely funny as Rhinokey cracks an apporos ice cream joke as he takes those bumps LIKE A MAN BABEE! More driving to waste time and it's BAD JOKE MONKEY OUT OF CONTROL! Butterbear's Appleberry Pie making machine gets destroyed of course and somehow that doesn't MURDER her in the process. We go into the tunnel as we see the Keystone Cop #1 (or #2 depending on what mood I was in when I was doing this rant.) head into the tunnel in the other direction. Geez; I wonder what contrived spot we will see next?! Yeah; that was terrible as Narrator Stan is forced to cover up as we find out that Keystone Cop #1's real name is EagleBeagle. That officially ends the segment nearly seven minutes in and this episode is getting really silly now. I put 2:1 odds that Rhinokey will be banned for life from driving in the next minute or so; which is the same odds that Jack Tretton will be let go within the next six months of this writing. Which one will win? Stay tuned....
After the commercial break; we head outside the right hole of the tunnel as the pieces of machinery are spit out as we see Rhinokey and EagleBeegle riding shotgun. Narrator Stan proclaims that Rhinokey has literally take the law in his own hands which is really funny. Not spit Pepsi out funny; but still really funny. The shotgun wagon splits and they fall down as the babyfaces magically show up for whatever reason and EagleBeagle proclaims that Rhinokey has gone too far. EagleBeagle has a higher tolerance of pain and suffering than Mick Foley does with Rhinokey around. Of course; Rhinokey just cannot resist cracking another bad joke as EagleBeagle takes out his ticket notepad and is going to write him a ticket which Rhinokey gleefully responds with a good joke much to my surprise. That's five for him for this series. He gets two tickets instead because he assaulted an officer with a deadly punchline. ZINGER BABY!! HAHA! That's actually good psychology. EagleBeagle warns him that one more ticket for reckless driving and he's out of the Wuzzle Race and the babyfaces are NOT amused by that. Sadly; that means Jack Tretton loses that battle and is going to be first in line for his job to be axed by Sony. It's all Nintendo's fault of course because they created the REVOLUTION BABEE!
We now head to outside of Wuz Burger as Hoppo (wearing the SHADES OF ROSE COLOR DOOM) talking to the old lady from In The Money who was used as a mud slinging target of stupidity. She's trying to convince her to get a spot into singing the Wuzzle National Anthem. She has got a petition for her to sign and the old lady is glad to sign it thinking that it's a petition to ban Hoppo from singing. Despite having Hoppo's name on the sheet. Yeah; it's another GLARING LOGIC BREAK OF DOOM; but it's still pretty funny as Hoppo opens the glasses and invokes some eye contact violence to stun her. Old Lady proclaims that she has found her cab and bails allowing Hoppo to tear up her petition blowing herself off...and then realizes that she had blown herself off; she accuses herself of cracking another fat joke. Man; Hoppo is PARANOID today. Moosel's insanity trait must really be catching. AHHAHAHAHA! Hoppo leaves as we see Bumblelion and Butterbear enter into Wuz Burgers which makes sense in one way (they are in love with each other as the storyline proclaims) and commits a logic break in another (as in they should still be with Rhinokey at the tunnel). My head now officially hurts. As bad as Hoppo's Well Hung Lady Routine. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Umm, back to the rant as we see Eleroo eating the place out of house and home again judging by the amount of dishes.
He's upset because if Rhinokey gets one more ticket; then he is out of the Wuzzle 500. Bumblelion tells him not to worry because they'll teach him how to be a safe driver. Well; I'll give the writers this, they are trying to create some tiered sub-plotting in this cartoon; but I don't think it's going to work in a preschool show where kids are already confused as is with all the logic breaks that are currently going on. Although this would be a good habit to follow in a better show like Ducktales or TaleSpin maybe. Butterbear gets her two cents in and this logically leads to outside as Rhinokey gleefully laughs this off as a bad joke. And I AGREE with him. That's like trying to make Hoppo lose weight. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Okay; let's move on. Butterbear is in the BumbleCar while Eleroo and Bumblelion are outside. Eleroo declares this whole thing hopeless and I AGREE with him too. Rhinokey hops into the BumbleCar and he speeds off as Butterbear tries to order him to slow down. You know; if Kathleen's voice isn't emotional enough for panicking then Rhinokey deserves to lose his license to kill via bad humor. AHHAHAHAHA!
Thankfully; the toll booth forces them to stop in their tracks. Butterbear blows Rhinokey's speeding off and her voice is so bad that even I would take losing my license to drive (if I had one to start with) then listen to her trying to act. Crock has some evil intentions as Rhinokey proclaims that he'll drive safer. Yeah sure; I'll believe that, when PigCats fly! AHHAHAHAHA! And Rhinokey gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY because there should be no toll booths in the LAND OF WUSS...ERRR...WUZ. Of course Rhinokey is dumb and gives Crock a coin to pass through. Rhinokey speeds off more slowly as Crock declares that he'll never have to work again. Because cheating customers into giving for the public good is so manly of you Crock. NOT! We now head to the a speed limit sign as Crock has his paint brush and he re-paints the sign while Flizard holds the ladder. The sign reads 55 MPH max and now it's 155 MPH min. See; he wants to force Rhinokey to get that third ticket so he's out of the race for good. Why? Other than to get a pointless trophy to screw Eleroo; I don't know. Crock simply doesn't think big enough; at least Beastly took advantage of the Care Bears prize of King For A Day.
Crock bails and if you don't know what happens next to Crock and his driving then you have no business reading this rant. Butterbear annoys me more by reading the RED BOOK OF LIES and it finally lives up to it's name as Rhinokey speeds up of course. Crock and his gang hop into his car and drive according to the original speed limit proclaiming victory...until EagleBeagle pulls him over...and gives Crock a ticket for...driving too slow. BWHAHAHAHAHA! HUH?! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?! A speed limit is supposed to be how fast you can drive. There is no limit on speed as long as you are under the 55 MPH speed limit. What kind of Wuzzle logic is that?! Logic break #2 for the episode and I don't accept that one. And people wonder why police officers get no respect? Anyhow; we cut to further down the road as Crock and his gang now want to give Rhinokey a traffic jam. So; he opens his luggage (dig that kooky briefcase) and brings out the corkscrew. Brat (who now looks like a bad deadringer to the Tazmanian Devil from Bugs Bunny I should note) drills in the middle of the road and there is JAM IN THEIR HILLS. Crock and the henchmen bail before they become sticky. Well; this worked on Speedy Gonzales so it should work on Speedy Rhinokey. AHHAHAHAHAHA! We cut to the RhinoCar as Eleroo has decided to take Butterbear's place before she gets smashed in between a grill cheese sandwich if you catch my drift.
Rhinokey asks for approval on his driving skills and Eleroo states they are improving because he hasn't hit anything see...And right on cue we see BumbleLion in the other direction on roller skiing on the sidewalk looking awfully cocky. Oh; like you cannot guess what happens next now do you?! They are near the traffic jam and Crock wants to bail away before getting covered in a jelly tomb; but the traffic jam of doom manages to get the heel stuck fast. That is just peachy folks; when a heel tactic backfire like THAT. The heels slip around and then they eat Jelly Spray. If you listen closely; you can hear Old Lady from In The Money laughing all the way to the bank. AHHAHAHAHA! And of course they do the old BumbleLion nearly gets run over spot as Bumblelion is forced to bail into the abyss. Rhinokey hops out and he is upset of what he has done as Narrator Stan proclaims that Crock will not get the last laugh as we cut to a shot of Bumblelion's broken roller skis near the cliff to end the segment 12 minutes in. A tradition begins as the writers tease Bumblelion's death. Now the question remains; how long will they tease it? 2:1 odds that it will be ten seconds or less...
After the commercial break; we head to the front shot of the cliff face as Rhinokey and Eleroo are sad that Bumblelion is dead. At least in theory, and of course we cut to see that Bumblelion is all right as he's stuck in a nest on a tree branch about 10 feet below the edge of the cliff. Oh; that wasn't contrived in the very least; no siree! Of course; they now think they have Moosel's syndrome. Thankfully; Bumblelion blows them off and they comes to their senses because they had the sense to look down and notice him. Eleroo uses his tail and helps Bumblelion out of the cliff. Rhinokey then amazes me by throwing away his keys and actually gets the very first kill word on DTVA. And it took nearly KILLING someone to do it? Michael Eisner is a freaking genius. Pass the klenex....Oh give me a freaking break there guys?! Bumblelion and Eleroo don't like this turn of events as Rhinokey declares that he'll never drive again and that is no joke. Scene changer and we head to the middle of a dirt road near Bumblelion's beehive as the Rhinokey Roadster is apparently torn apart as the babyfaces exchange notes on the situation. Well; everyone except Rhinokey that is. Eleroo declares that he'll never get his trophy back. Want a reason why Rick Warren thinks we are more materialistic than ever? People watched this episode and got inspired from it.
Bumblelion isn't giving up yet as he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN: rebuild the Roadster and enter the race to win. That's a great idea; then you can steal the trophy and smash it after you fail. AHHAHAHAHA! Of course the show is running too short; so we get another sequence of Hoppo's bad singing which allows the babyfaces to bail AGAIN! They fix Rhinokey's car and now they have another problem: Bumblelion is announcing, Moosel is cleaning roads and Butterbear is on concession. Moosel's the only one who has no excuse to drive here and of course he won't be driving because allowing good characters to carry this series is not the mantra of Michael Eisner at this point. It's selling Wuzzles' toys to children to hedge his bets. Hoppo wants to drive on one condition and that's to sing badly. Bumblelion no sells and offers Eleroo to drive and apparently Eleroo doesn't want to either. Hoppo then does the HOPPO WABBIT HUG OF DEATH on Bumblelion which has to be the funniest thing I have seen from her in this series (all due to Bumblelion's selling it). Bumblelion finally gives up and gives her the driving role as she kisses him in a cute spot. See; Hoppo has a crush on Bumblelion. However; Bumblelion loves Butterbear instead. I don't know which is better: Hoppo who has a wooden singing voice and a dense diva; or Butterbear who has a wooden normal voice and a gardening gimmick? I cannot decide here.
So we cut to the starting line of the Wuzzle Rally 500 as Crock has clearly entered the race (check the black car which is why he didn't sell it I guess) and the Rhinokey Roadster (I think) are at the starting line getting ready. We cut to the announcing booth as Bumblelion proclaims that it's now time for Hoppo to sing the Wuzzle National Anthem. Hoppo takes the microphone as Bumblelion uses his fingers from behind his back and flips a switch which somehow turns on the engines and they roar so loud that you cannot hear Hoppo singing. WHAT THE--?! That makes no sense whatsoever. HOW IN THE HELL COULD BUMBLELION FLIP A SWITCH AND TURN ON THE ENGINES LIKE THAT?! There's logic break #3 for the episode and another one I don't accept. At least let Hoppo take responsibility for her bad singing instead of showing disgrace to it by masking her singing with engine noise! It's also not funny guys either way so you can stick it! Rhinokey rolls in the Rhinokey Roadster and it is so badly fixed up of course which is CONTINUTIY from the earlier scenes. Hoppo sees it and realizes that she is screwed out of her singing of course so she screws Eleroo by letting the rest of the racer start without her and then jumps into the backseat and becomes a backseat driver. Well; Bumblelion has no one but himself to blame for that gaffe. So Eleroo is forced to take the front seat and drive while Hoppo shouts commands from the back. HOLY CRAP?! Has the real Hoppo showed up here? Did I get a Pod Hoppo all this time?!
Eleroo pulls the clutch and the Rhinokey Roadster is off to the races BABEE! So we cut to the makeshift toll booths as the first car pays the toll and speeds off just as Crock's black car shows up. Crock demands that Brat open the gate and Brat blows him off because he wants a quarter and that gets Crock steamed. HAHA! Good sign of a good henchmen heel: Screw anyone; including your boss. Now this is why Crock really sucks. Brat still no sells and that allows Eleroo to take over second place which gets Crock even more steamed. So he destroys the toll booth gate of course and speeds off. Is he SO cheap as to not pay a simple toll booth?! The race continues and Hoppo orders Eleroo to slow down despite it being a race and Eleroo is forced to sell as we cut to the PRESS OF FRAUD (first time in DTVA) booth as they witness Crock retake second place easily. Wow; this episode is much better now that the real Hoppo has showed up actually. Hoppo does the cocky diva pose to pop the PRESS OF FRAUD of course because she's a diva. Eleroo doesn't like that and Hoppo gleefully blows him off because she's a real diva BABEE! Sunni would be proud. Mario Anducky (Oh man; that is just asking for a lawsuit here) is still in the lead as they make it to the RAMP OF DEATH and drive off. Crock manages to get neck and neck with Mario and then invokes the 16 ton weight on Mario Anducky and he free falls out of the race. I hope he's all right because that weight would kill him in real life.
The Rhinokey Roadster flies off the ramp and flies for a while before Eleroo tries on the props. Sadly; they blow up and the thing free falls right in front of Moosel's gas station! He should have fell onto Mario Anducky for crying out loud!! That's logic break #4 for the episode and yet another one I don't accept. WHAT KIND OF SHOW IS THIS?! Rhinokey is RIGHT THERE (along with Moosel) cracking another, say it with me, thinly veiled fat joke. We cut to the side of the garage where we see Flizards' hand steal the air tank and change it to the LAUGHING TANK OF STUPIDTY (Read: Laughing Gas). Brat even drinks some of it and I'm SHOCKED Toon Disney didn't cut that out. I mean; Scooby Doo The Movie got in trouble for drinking out of the whip cream can; why didn't this show?! Talk about misplaced values here. Moosel takes the tank of laughing gas and refills the tires quickly. When is Disney going to get sued for overuse of the HB sound effects here?! (Note From The Future: Sound effects cannot be copyrighted apparently. So there's nothing to sue.) Hoppo uses her cute voice to order Rhinokey and Moosel to push the car (HOW DARE SHE?!) and they sell allowing the car to speed off. We then cut over to Crock making a pit stop near Moosel's garage (which makes a million times more sense actually) and here comes Flizard as he offers some Appleberry pies which were stolen from Butterbear.
Crock eats all the pies in style and praises Flizard for his cheating which is false since he was actually STEALING (and that's a crime; cheating is merely wrong in comparison) and drives away. Crock finds a conveniently placed nail and throws it onto the ground which allows the Rhinokey Roadster to drive over it and pop the tires filled with LAUGHING GAS! And of course; the babyfaces laugh their butts off because torture is not allowed on this show. Unless you are the one watching it of course. Apparently; Crock didn't eat the third Appleberry pie; so he throws it right into Eleroo's face and thus negates DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) in intentionally throwing food into babyface faces. And of course it's the MONKEY CAR OUT OF CONTROL as they bumps into the potholes made by the Road Hogs earlier and are forced to stop at Moosel's Gas Station which makes no sense either. Logic break #5 for the episode and this is getting REALLY STUPID now! All the babyfaces can do is laugh it off as we cut to Crock who has stopped (because Mario Anducky was killed off apparently) as he and henchmen exchange notes as they agree that Eleroo must be stopped. If it's his laughing then I AGREE with them.
So we have the bad scene changer as Flizard and Brat attempt to sweet talk some Road Hogs into reading pavement so to speak. Okay; what is the point of this?! Didn't Crock already succeed in doing this spot already? I've seen recycled backgrounds; but never a recycled spot in the same episode and back-to-back scenes to boot. The Road Hogs actually show more sense in this show than the writers do and they no sell. Brat is eating jelly on his Cherange because he knows this episode is sucking now. So Flizard has an idea pour jam on the pavement from Brat's jelly jar and let Brat eat it. Heels? Working together? In this universe?! What are the odds?! Eleroo gets back on the road and Hoppo acts like the backseat driver diva that she is. And of course they break internal logic AGAIN by having Crock retake the lead despite no evidence proving that they ever took the lead. That's logic break #6 for the episode. They split up as Crock takes the left road and Eleroo takes the right route. Which turns out to be the wrong road and the whole Roadster gets destroyed on the potholes as a result. That thing is so defective that they break internal logic as they make it to the gas station. You know; if the writers have made it more important than retaking someone's trophy like being king for a day then I would care about this. As it is; the episode is a pointless waste of time.
It's all over as we cut to Crock driving slow in front of the crowd just to rub in in their faces and they boo him. Because he's going to win a pointless trophy?! No wonder our children are so messed up. Okay; they are not, but this is pointless. The PRESS OF FRAUD takes snapshots of him as the babyfaces realize that there is NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING they can do to stop Crock now. However; Rhinokey blames himself (despite the fact that it was Bumblelion for taking Eleroo's trophy in the first place) and decides that he's going to drive them to victory. Umm; your Roadster is totaled. You cannot win at any rate or cost. However; Rhinokey tells them to find some bars and we get the scene changer as Rhinokey is on a unicycle and looks like a birdman trying to flap. That is SO LAME! Hoppo pulls the rope on the boat engine and he's off as we cut to to the booth as Bumblelion has the binoculars (just to save this episode in desperation) and he sees Rhinokey gaining on Crock. The crowd pops as Crock continues to get showered with affection and Rhinokey retakes the lead. So we head down the final stretch. Who will win: The cheating Crock; or the birdmen Rhinokey?! My money is on Rhinokey because the babyface ALWAYS wins on DTVA. Rhinokey starts to flap into the air allowing Crock to invokes the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to snag on Rhinokey's engine.
It goes nowhere as we have a photo finish spot (Bumblelion uses a spotted flag instead of a checkered flag. HAR HAR!) . Well; that's how Beastly loss to Lots-A-Heart ended so it's apporos. The Flamingo created an oil painting which the announcer Bumblelion points out (Okay; that was funny although Narrator Stan ruined the joke a bit) and of course Rhinokey wins by a horn. What a surprise?! I am SO SHOCKED that he won! NOT! Eleroo wakes up in disbelief that Rhinokey won and Crock sobs on his black car after the loss. That is so lame. If he wanted to gain real heel heat; SMASH THE FREAKIN TROPHY!! We head over to the podium near the finish line as Bumblelion presents Rhinokey with the trophy and Rhinokey gives the trophy to Eleroo as an unspoken apology for Bumblelion's decision to take it in the first place and use it in the race. And what did we learn from all this: That life in the pits is in the pits. Proving that morals do indeed suck. Thank you Rhinokey for cementing that into children's heads. You should be so proud of yourself.
Rhinokey hops into the BumbleCar as Butterbear thinks that he'll never learn and Rhinokey completely blows it off because he was just kidding. Yeah sure Rhinokey. So how is he going to stop speeding? He rigs his JOKE METER OF DOOM to the HEAT MAHCINE OF LAUGHS will slow him down because he hates a hostile audience. Yeah; go figure. He just had to learn by using a joke device. And while I'm at it...Professional Wrestlers should be scared since Rhinokey has discovered one of it's secrets: The Heat Machine. AHHAHAHAHA! Rhinokey speeds off as we cut to the far shot of the finish as the babyfaces all leave except for Hoppo who looks mad as Narrator Stan ends this episode at 21:33. That was...OH WAIT! Circle Fade in and we see Hoppo with microphone in hand as she won't let anyone end the episode until they hear her sing. Now there is CONTINUITY BABEE! Sadly for her; the episode officially cuts off before she can sing at 21:39. Another total mess; and it was awful for the first ten minutes until Rhinokey decided to stop driving and let Eleroo win the race. One final joke: What do you get when you play a Rhinokey episode backwards? Answer: You get your time back, you get your happiness back, you get your humor back, you get your heat back, you get your stars back..... * ½ (30%).
THE REVIEW LINE
This episode was another total mess as the writers didn't seem to know what to do in this one. They used EagleBeagle and then render his actions pointless when Rhinokey decided not to drive in the race anyway. Why not just let one of his friends threaten him? It would have been easier. Rhinokey did nothing but some bumps and some bad jokes and I could care less about if Eleroo lost his trophy or not because he was stupid enough to trust Bumblelion into giving it to him in the first place. There were various logic breaks out of the wazoo and the episode just seemed so reckless in general. Crock and his gang was okay and Moosel was his usual self so it helped the episode a bit. Despite the low rating; I do thank Hoppo for finding getting into her character properly which just makes Rhinokey and Butterbear look weaker and weaker (although Butterbear wouldn't be weak if she gets a new voice). I just hope Eleroo's Wish Day is a smashing success because it's getting to the point where only Moosel and Bumblelion are the only characters worth a damn in this show. The writers need to turn this thing around quickly; or this show is going to look even weaker than Goof Troop is and that isn't a pretty sight since this show has a great concept and excellent potential to be awesome. This is something Goof Troop cannot bring to the table. However; if they don't provide execution and character then it is going to be a waste. So....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.