Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
The Main Course
Reviewed: 04/22/2008
Which This Isn't....
Other day, another Wuzzles rant. So let's rant on shall we...?!
The episode is written by Ken Koonce & David Weimers. The story is edited by Hoppo.
We begin this one in the WONDERFUL LAND OF WUSS..ERR..WUZ. No really; I'm as shocked as you are. We quickly head to Moosel's lighthouse as we pan down to the ChugBoat (so sez Narrator Stan) and it is chugging. Anyhow; we cut to Moosel on the boat with Hoppo's luggage as Moosel complains about cleaning his boat and Hoppo blows him off (BOO HISS!) while throwing her luggage on the boat. Then the babyfaces arrive as they are going on another vacation see. I thought they were already on vacation. It's not like they ever worked a real day in their lives during this series. Well; maybe Butterbear has worked a lot (and Rhinokey had a few days work); but still. Okay; only one is going on vacation as Bumblelion want to stay to go fishing; Butterbear has a garden to tow and Eleroo has a lawn to mow. Rhinokey wants to go because cracking bad jokes is a traveling scream. AHHAHAHAHA! Hoppo is not amused as the joke known as Rhinokey is carrying opens up and a joke flower comes out to force Hoppo to eat water again. AH! I see Rhinokey is back in mid-season form. Hoppo blows it off because she decided this vacation and she is the master of eye contact violence so that no one tries to screw her; I guess. You know; if Hoppo was smart, she would make sure Rhinokey stays home. You need a vacation from his vacation to the Improv. AHHAHAHAHA! However; she's a dense idiot so I'm not holding my breath.
Hoppo yells at them which is enough to force the babyfaces on the ship. Hoppo gets on and I'm SHOCKED that the wooden plank she gets on doesn't break. Must have lost 100 pounds since we last show her. Moosel is inside the ChugBoat engine room and he does some shoveling of coal into the furnace as Hoppo goes to the rope to untie the rope from the stump. Then Moosel shovels faster and faster allowing a protest from Hoppo. Did I mention that I like it when Moosel screws Hoppo? Hoppo unties the rope and the force of gravity forces Hoppo into barefoot skiing which WildCat would later recycle in an episode that escapes me at this time. Butterbear gleefully points out that Hoppo is having a good time getting screwed. Okay; maybe not according to those lines; but it's implied. Evidence: Eleroo gets out his crimson red camera from his pouch so he can get a picture of Hoppo getting screwed. Hoppo water skis for a while and then climbs slowly back onto the boat before it can get really good. Hoppo waltz over and blows off Moosel for his boat racing skills and Moosel gleefully responds to that one for me. Hoppo complains that she is half dead as the babyfaces gleefully ignores her. Evidence: They set up a table cloth on the floor of the ChugBoat. Too funny.
Sadly; the scene changer occurs before Hoppo continues to complain as we cut down to a shot of Butterbear's body (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU SICK FREAKS!) as Eleroo puts down the BASKET OF YOGI'S on the tablecloth. Eleroo thanks Butterbear for her cooking; but Butterbear claims it was Moosel who did the basket up and Moosel waddles in to show off his cooking. As much as I hate liver; I cannot help but laugh at Moosel unintentionally screwing his friends in thinking that he is so helpful. The Wuzzles go all yuck and stuff and walk out on Moosel (not unlike a bigot who thinks homosexuals are gross) as Rhinokey cuts another bad joke on the whisper yell. It's bad enough when someone whisper yells in animation; but it's worst when Rhinokey cracks a bad joke ON TOP OF IT. Thankfully; it doesn't go into a full scale war as Bumblelion throws the golden anchor into the sea and it's fishing time for the GANG OF WUZ. I see Bumblelion has found a way to enjoy what he was supposed to do despite Hoppo's eye contact violence. Bumblelion casts his fishing line as Eleroo pulls out his fishing pole from his pouch (HOLY CRAP?! WHAT DOESN'T HE KEEP IN THERE?!) and also pulls out that Apple Banana Peel he ate and showed in several episodes earlier in the series. I'm beginning to think this is becoming a bad running joke for him.
He wants to get a shrimpchip as we go into round two of Rhinokey screwing Hoppo as he climbs out of the boat. I guess he jumped in while Eleroo was getting his fishing pole so no logic break there. And he should wear more than just the swimming goggles if he's going to dive underwater. Anyhow; he has one of the fishing lines (Bumblelion's I bet since it was in the water first) and he attaches the hook to the ass/puffy tail (same thing basically) of Hoppo while she's lying in the prone position on deck with her ultra ugly swim wear on. Nothing sezs TOO FAT like ultra ugly swimwear and the sunglasses. This seems to be Rhinokey's good MO: Screw Hoppo at every turn. Sadly; Rhinokey cannot do anything else right. Rhinokey pulls on the line and that's enough for Bumblelion to oversell and realize that he has a bite. This classic joke never goes out of style. Boy; Hoppo must be full of air if Bumblelion can tug on Hoppo like that WITHOUT breaking the fishing line. Hoppo runs in the opposite direction because she's ticked off at somebody I guess as Bumblelion stands his ground with the fishing pole. Hoppo finally loses and get dumped into the water with a resounding splash. Hey; she is filled with hot air even if her head is as hard as a rock. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Bumblelion reels her in and Rhinokey blows Hoppo off with a thiny veiled fat joke right on cue. I predicted that 15 seconds before it happened I should note. That's why Rhinokey sucks. Eleroo gets out his camera right on cue for the picture as Hoppo blows off Rhinokey for making fun of her and Rhinokey once again shows that he's NOTHING..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING without Hoppo there by cracking another awesome joke about Hoppo's crush on Bumblelion. Hoppo then on up's everyone to infinity by throwing Rhinokey into the ocean blue. Finally; someone commits physical violence on this show. I knew that they couldn't help themselves. Hoppo walks off and then gives eye contract violence on Butterbear who is reading a comic book in her lawn chair. What did she do to deserve that? Oh wait; it's because Bumblelion loves Butterbear, why do I ever ask? Rhinokey gets out of the water (nice CONTINUITY by making him look all wet) as Eleroo reels in his line and I predict that it's a dirty old boot. I check the Youtube video....and I'm wrong as it's a real BaboonBass. HAHA! He apparently doesn't like AppleBanana peels either judging by it's demeanor as he throws it right between Eleroo's eyes.
Then we have the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE SHIP EDITION~! Moosel is still eating his favorite sandwich inside the engine room and then the BabboonBass steals Moosel's sandwich from behind. YOU GREEDY LITTLE PIECE OF MONKEYCRAP?! He eats it and doesn't like it as Moosel is screwed and bails through the window to escape. Now that is graceful swimming; and he wasn't even aiming for the water. Everyone except Butterbear and Hoppo does the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE SHIP EDITION~! We then see the AppleBanana peel on the floor; but nothing comes out of it...yet. We then cut to Hoppo inside the ship's cargo area (I think) as she has her lunchbox with her showing that her fashion sense is as out of control as her weight. She brings out her submarine sandwich and the smell leaves the cargo area as we cut to the end of the ship as the BabboonBass has the babyfaces (well; the male ones anyway) trapped. I'm calling logic break #1 right here because how is Butterbear not involved in this one since she was outside the LAST TIME we saw her.
The smell overtakes the MonkeyBass and we cut back to Hoppo trying to eat her sub but Monkeybass steals it. Hoppo does some eye contact violence; but it doesn't work since Monekybass' eyes are closed as he tries to eat her sub. Hoppo steals it back and blows it off. Rule #1: Never screw a Monkeybass out of stuff he steals. Monkeybass growls and that's enough for Hoppo to scream for about three seconds as she points out the logical fallacy of Monkeybass: It's half fish; so it cannot breathe air. What kind of sick logic is that since it's clear that he's half monkey so he CAN breathe air? Monkeybass sells it though and bails into the ocean blue. That piece of monkey crap is REALLY STUPID as Hoppo comes outside with her sub and declares victory. Geez; with logic like that I could easily beat take her and her weight on. Hoppo walks away thinking she's got it made as she tries to eat the sandwich; but fails to look down and steps right on the AppleBanana peel and goes sailing into the ocean blue. HAHA! Hey! If you are dense enough to fall for that spot after proclaiming sick logic about a half monkey, half fish then you deserve to get laughed it. Hoppo climbs up and claims that she's having a good time. Well; I am having a good time seeing her get screwed, does my vote count?
Then a cannon ball zooms just above Hoppo's head (ZOINKS!) and here comes the token pirate ship off the port bow. This episode just keeps getting better by the second. I knew Moosel's foreshadowing the episode before would lead us to this. That's one thing about DTVA: they always foreshadow an episode to the point where it is still a surprise despite really not being. The Pie-rate Captain (according to Moosel- along with First Mate Gag. AHHAHAHAHA!) has his REGAL CUTLASS and demands that they surrender their loot and sadly; the captain needs a pirating book in order to make threats. Rule #2: Never use the RED BOOK OF LIES to get sage advice. It NEVER works except to make you look foolish. Pirate Captain fires another cannon ball from the cannon and the thing misses by eight feet as the ChugBoat makes an awesome 90 degree turn to port. Now; that is turning on a dime BABEE! I knew that the train part of that boat would come in handy. Rhinokey shovels coal into the furnace and Moosel takes full control of the wheel. It's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE PIRATE SHIP EDITION~!
Butterbear wonders what they can do as another cannon ball misses to the right by four feet. Bumblelion proclaims that they need to fight fire with fire as Eleroo takes a lighted candle from his pouch and I'm SHOCKED that he managed to keep it IN THERE without burning himself to death and winning a Darwin award as a result. Don't the writers ever watch Backdraft? That's logic break #2 for the episode and I don't accept that one. If Eleroo grabbed a candle light from the cargo area and lit it; it would not be a logic break. Bumblelion proclaims that they need as many violent weapons as possible and Hoppo shows him her makeup case which is her lunchbox. No wonder Hoppo looks so screwed up. The fumes in there are making her and Bumblelion as delusional as Rhinokey's chances of being a good joke fixer. AHHAHAHAHA! Butterbear has the PICNIC BASKET OF YOGI'S and Bumblelion calls them deadly weapons (seriously). And guest who would steal and recycle this idea? Baloo and his gang in TaleSpin. I mean the whole concept of the SeaDuck is that it has no real weapons on it. Eleroo takes out some giant rubber bands to give to Bumblelion as we cut back to Moosel and Rhinokey driving and shoveling as the chase MUST CONTINUE!!
The Pirates aim is terrible; but the babyface's are not as they aim directly for the ship which pretty much demonstrates that the pirates are nothing but bumbling character put there to amuse me. Slingshot ensues and First Mate Gag eats Liver Spinach Sandwich. He makes the mistake of eating it and he hates it. No; really. I'm as shocked as you are. First Mate Gag proclaims that they are fighting dirty and the captain wants advice from the RED BOOK OF LIES. If he would use the BLUE BOOK OF FACTS; he might become a better pirate. Nice sandwich on your nose there Captain. You should be proud of yourself. First Mate Gag tells him to blast them out of the water which is greeted as Bumblelion slingshots the melon and it lands right into the mouth of the cannon and they get blown up complete with impact stars and smoke (AND THAT BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND MYTHBUSTERS!). The pirates get the BLACKFACE OF DOOM and I'm SHOCKED that Toon Disney didn't cut that out. I mean; they would cut out Baloo's slightly racist line in Mach One For The Gipper; but not a more obvious racist visual gag? This Toon Disney editing is whack sezs I.
Hoppo takes out her Puff Powder Brush and gets it to Bumblelion. That gets slingshot towards the ship and the Captain takes a powder. Now there's a funny visual sight gag if I ever saw one. I see Bumblelion's been watching professional wrestling. The COKE OF DOOM blinds him and he orders for the cannons to fire; but the cannons fire downwards despite the canon still pointing TOWARDS the Wuzzle's ship. Logic break #3 for the episode. Thankfully; the backup cannon fires and nails the ChugBoat good and the ship starts taking water. If Hacksaw were here; all hell would be breaking loose. Oh wait; all hell is going to break loose without him. My mistake as usual as Rhinokey comes out (with Moosel) and cracks his usual bad joke. At least he wasn't trying to make a funny here. Everyone takes the green buckets and starts bailing. Except for Eleroo who gives the candlelight to Bumblelion and he slingshots it into the mast which burns it. Crap; I knew that logic break would be involved somehow. The pirate ship stops dead in their tracks as the First Mate Gag reads the RED BOOK OF LIES and the Captain blows it off making him look like the smartest guy in the entire outfit right there. Well; he is the Captain so it actually makes sense.
So the Captain orders all of his pirates (about seven more of them) to sew a new mast and they sell without a question or a peep. Now he's starting to become an effective heel. Maybe he was playing PSYCHOLOGY on the babyfaces all along into thinking that he was REALLY STUPID. Good plan there as we cut to the ChugBoat racing to an isolated plot device..ERRR...island as Hoppo and the gang are bailing out the Chugboat with no success whatsoever. They land on the island and everyone abandons ship into the palm tree forest (even Moosel despite TMS almost making it appear that Moosel was not going with them). Hoppo is relieved and thinks that they are safe. That's like food thinking that they are safe from Hoppo's mouth. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Umm..And of the Pigmites of Doom appear OUT OF NOWHERE (and this is so apporos on SO MANY LEVELS) with spears in tow ready to make Hoppo stew out of Hoppo. Hmmm...Hoppo Stew. SLURP! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Narrator Stan pretty much said it all as the Pigmites surround Hoppo and she screams for real as the segment ends almost nine minutes in. Wow; this episode is getting real good and it would be a shame if they screw with it now...
After the commercial break; we cut to a jungle clearing as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE HOPPO EATING EDITION~! HAHA! The babyfaces follow and stop as they get trapped with the TEAM ROCKET PIT OF DEATH! I see Jesse and James are already starting with this cartoon about 10 years before that meant anything. Rhinokey calls this vacation the pits. I beg to differ as I'm having a BLAST BABEE! After seeing that DTVA character never really get hurt; them complaining about suffering just doesn't quite have the same suspension of disbelief. Hoppo runs behind a tree (ULTRA WEAK MOVE THERE HOPPO with your Baloo like weight) and calls them twerps. Funny how Disney knew how to use various insults while Team Rocket settled on twerp during it's entire run and they STILL keep doing that. Then they wonder why the cartoon sucks now. We then cut to someone who clearly Moosel since the sign said Mooslide ahead place a red sign in front of the Pigmites and bails. Why must everything be preschool color in this show? I'm all for bright colors since real life is full of them (hell; I think mature 'feeces colored brown' games are bigger offenders of “forced realism” than the so-called kiddie (because it really means old) 'preschool color' games); but a red sign is pretty silly when a natural color sign would have the same meaning and not look like some badly sugar-coated piece of crap. There is good color and then there is marketing manager color. The later is the bad one while the former is good. This is the later. I do like the suction cup spears which is absolutely funny as a fusion and a BS&P decision. Hey; if you are going to BS&P a spot; at least make an effort to make it look funny. The grease & spoon spot from Sound & The Furry is a really good example and this is yet another one.
Oh; and the Pigmites can speak good English too. Well the Pgymites from TaleSpin were pretty civilized in their barbarism (thickly veiled religious crack maybe?) so this isn't unexpected as they all bail stage right. I have been proven wrong again as Hoppo comes out of the bushes. This spot would have been a dozen times more effective if Moosel was involved. Hoppo removes the sign and foolishly walks stage left and walks off a cliff. Wow; the writers are really making me love Hoppo today as she is stupid enough to do that spot. She actually slides down a Mooslide in a funny visual and thus gets the ZINGER BABY of the episode. See; make the joke and then pay it off. Why the writers from Darkwing Duck don't know that most of the time is beyond me. The Wuzzles are doing that a lot and they aren't even a comedy show to begin with. She splats right into the muddy lake and she's is muddy as a rabbird. See; I can fuse sentences too. Hoppo blows herself off and does a dog shaking spot to annoy me. And then it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE HOPPO EATING EDITION ROUND TWO~! The babyfaces crawl out of the hole that they buried themselves in (with Eleroo getting out last of course) as everyone wants to get off the island; but Bumblelion and Butterbear refuse because they need to save Hoppo. Well; she does have her working wabbit boots on so I'm on Bumblelion's side.
Butterbear smartly sezs nothing since her emotion span is about three cords long and just taps her foot. Rhinokey, Moosel and Eleroo don't want Hoppo saved because she's a demanding diva see. Now that is just being mean. I mean; Hoppo's finally got some WORKRATE and you're dissing her? If anyone should be in the position Hoppo is now it is Rhinokey since he sucks eggs as a character. And while that is going on the CHASE FOR HOPPO'S FLESH continues. She is making Rebecca look like a total pussy cat right now and that's a very hard thing to do considering how manly Rebecca Cunningham actually is. Hoppo then stops after a good stumbling spot and hatches a plan: I'm bigger than those Pigmites; they don't have sharp objects, chase after THEM and turns the tables. Wow; that MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN might just work. The Pigmite are forced to stop as Hoppo uses the UGLY VOODOO MASK OF DOOM and that is enough to scare the Pigmites away stage right. Where did she pack that thing? Logic break #4 for the episode. Why not just use her normal face; it looks ugly enough to scare food into submission. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Hoppo tries to bail stage left; but the Pigmites return and surround her again. I knew that Hoppo should have just used her own face. It would have been a lot more effective. Hoppo is screwed as she gives up and we get the scene changer as we see a trial of Hoppo's footprints going into the jungle. The babyfaces pop up OUT OF NOWHERE from the bushes and just notices the prints now. And of course they follow it the wrong way and end up back to the ChugBoat. What a bunch of idiots?! Rhinokey proves that even MORE SO by wanting to call a rescue team. Bumblelion thankfully shows some sense as Rhinokey still wants to be saved from Hoppo. We then head to inside the jungle as the Pigmites carry the wooden cage featuring Hoppo inside. These guys have never seen rope in their lives. If they did; Hoppo's beak would be shut by now as Hoppo protests this outrage. Except it is not an outrage so she's screwed.
The Pigmites stop and then pray before their king who happens to be King Squeaky Squeaky (Okay; now this confirms that the writers are on some sort of illegal substance. Or taking booking names from Dusty) as we pan over to his throne. King Squeaky Squeaky looks like a cyan blue Pigmite who is about the size of Hoppo plus a top hat and a king's crown which just looks plain goofy. The King is impressed as he stares at Hoppo and wants to prepare Hoppo for the wooden spit. Hoppo panics and pleads that this is all a mistake. Not according to the Workrate Spirits this isn't. See; Hoppo isn't Heave-Ho Hoppo or so she claims. Considering that her last name is Hoppo; color me unimpressed. They exchange notes and Hoppo makes the mistake of claiming that she is an actress which is good enough for Hoppo to get the spit for lunch as the Pigmites carry her away stage left. Hoppo blows herself off and we logically lead to...
...just outside earshot of the jungle drum as we see the babyfaces still looking for Hoppo inside the jungle. Suddenly; they hear the SOUND OF DRUMS. Why does Bumblelion have the pair of pliers here? I guess the tree shears were stolen by Drake before this one proving that Drake was indeed a dirty thief BEFORE his crime fighting started. Now that would be as ironic as Kit Cloudkicker riding the against the crime wave when he used to be part of the crime wave. Then there is a big ass rumble and Rhinokey cracks another thinly veiled fat joke right on cue. Of course we cut to a far shot of a volcano nearly ready to blow it's top off in the background (with Bumblelion observing it of course) . He calls it Mount Vonsuemerights which has got to be the silliest fusion name in the world. Something tells me that Disney wasn't all up and up with copyright holders at this point. Bumblelion wants to rescue her and runs stage left as the male Wuzzles all bail on him stage right (what a surprise?) which would be a face turn in any other universe; but since Hoppo is working like a maniac this is really a heel turn. Thankfully; Butterbear is RIGHT THERE blocking the way to stop that turn.
They are force to march stage left as Butterbear's barking orders is so bad that she would be peeling potatoes if any real commanding officer ever saw that. There is a certain kind of grace involved and Butterbear doesn't have it at all. Bad scene changer and we climb the VOLCANO OF SUE ME RIGHTS with Bumblelion and the gang. Everyone uses each other's tails to climb up which shows that you don't need brown rope when pre-school colored tails will do nicely. They made it to the mineshaft (in a volcano? THAT'S WHACK!) and Rhinokey blows off the blasting that is going on inside. Bumblelion wants to go inside because it might be a shortcut. If there is one way to assure that this is going to blow up in his face; this would be it. They head inside and Eleroo gets his lantern from out of his pouch (CONTINUITY from Bumblelion & The Terrified Forest) and the eyes of doom disappear quickly as the darkness becomes light. And then in the hallway we see the crab/dogsperson version of the Miner 49er. I knew that bumbling Scooby Doo villain would somehow get mutated for this show. The babyfaces do the SCOOBY DOO PANIC STATE OF DEATH and then race right out of the mine. This crabby miner is more of a wuss than the real thing for pete's sake and the babyfaces RAN FROM HIM? UGH!
Everyone runs out of the mineshaft and the Miner CrabbyNiner storms out and blows them off for stealing. Bumblelion insists that they aren't here to steal and of course the Miner doesn't sell that bill of goods. He blows them off while showing a rubydiamond (even the gems are fused) and then storms back inside. Rhinokey blows him off with a bad joke as we get another bad scene changer (only three more episodes after this and I can finally get away from that.) and we see the babyfaces wuzzing down the hill. The drums go on as Moosel mistakes them for something else. Bumblelion of course corrects him as the they are close. And they are as we get the far shot of the PigMice's camp where one of the pigmice arrives with the silver platter to King Squeaky Squeaky (second worst name in the series ever next to PU Quack) and it is opened to reveal the cheese whip cream. The king is impressed; but he wants the big stuff (ie: The main course which is the name of this episode) and the gang doesn't like that. Moosel and the gang run in without ANY SORT OF PLAN WHATSOEVER behind the big ass platter (which has a bronze cover on it) as Moosel calls for Bumblelion. King Squeaky Squeaky is not impressed as Bumblelion demands answers and the PigMice call it dinner. The babyfaces is SHOCKED AND APPALLED (in that order) as they cry about it because they think that Hoppo is dead. Here's a clue: If they won't allow any main characters to die before Dead Duck did it (sort of) in 1992 then Hoppo is not dead. This would be shocking in 1985; but not today buster. They cannot even show any proper emotion and even the sound people aren't smart enough to pour dramatic music (like “You Find The Way” from Gundam Seed) so the whole scene just reeks. As annoying as hearing Donald's nephew sob in Ducktales; at least they were convincing emotion wise.
Of course Rhinokey cracks another thinly veiled fat joke and Hoppo rightfully blows him off for it. Good for her; this scene sucks eggs and if there is one thing I learned from this is that pathos are not really good at all in preschool shows. We then cut over to see Hoppo dressed up in actual sensible fashion clothes for a change. King Squeaky Squeaky has some good taste even if his name sucks eggs. Butterbear jumps into Hoppo's arms and they have a bonding moment which makes no sense since they are supposed to be at odds with each other over Bumblelion. Bumblelion would have been a better bet. Eleroo gets a hug as Hoppo explains why the PigMice were after her. See; she is the splitting images of Heave Ho Hoppo (which is demonstrated with the statue of worship. Wonder how many religious parents boycotted this show?) as it is the Pigmice god or something like that judging by the praying near it. The yellow bird lands on it and I suspect we will rarely see that kind of idol worship in American animation if ever again. Then again; anime already has this and it's more believable. She has some chicken and cider (which is as close as we can get to alcohol without being alcohol) as Bumblelion is relieved and now that they can go home. And since we have about seven minutes left; Hoppo no sells because she loves this paradise now. They complain about plugging the Chugboat as Rhinokey cracks another thinly veiled fat joke (yeah; that'll get her to come home yes siree!) and Hoppo no sells; but she does offer to ask King Squeaky Squeaky to build a new boat for them.
She goes over to the King and we get the ugly scene changer as she return with a suitable replacement which she blows up: The crimson red raft. That's about the sixth crimson red object in this episode alone. There's just too much of the red stuff in this episode and yet none of it is blood. And Eisner is surprised when the show tanked as a result? So we get another clunky scene changer and the babyfaces walk away stage right waving goodbye to Hoppo with raft above their heads. I guess Butterbear finally realized that she wasn't leaving. Which is good since Butterbear is Bumblelion main squeeze for life. So; everything works out in the end. She promises to send postcards much in the same way she did in Horray For Hollywuz I guess and she resumes eating with the King as the VOLCANO OF SUE ME WUZ continues to cough like a bad smoker. Is it just me; or are the creators challenging someone to sue this show? And why would they want someone to sue them anyway? It's not like the ratings were good enough to force the PTC to get involved in anyway shape or form.
The PigMice grab her and surround her as the King proclaims that Mount Van Sue Me Wuz is very angry and only Heave Ho Hoppo can make it happy. UH OH! And if you cannot guess how Heave Ho Hoppo makes it happy then you have no business reading this episode. Well; at least this episode is already a million times better than Dances With Bigfoot (I mean it's not even close and that one had six moments where the word god was used). And Hoppo has enough decency to build the spot where she gets screwed by doing some spots before realizing that she is going to be the volcano's lunch. Ah; the wonders of religious barbarism. Hoppo even invents the phrase Hoof & Mouth when she talks about her doctor six years before Darkwing Duck did and the PigMice decide to stop selling. They blitz Hoppo and it's the FCC-APPROVED DUSTCLOUD FIGHT OF DEATH which sadly; Hoppo would lose easily. So we logically cut to the jungle as the Pigmites have Hoppo tied up against a wooden plank in a spot that the Pygmites from TaleSpin would recycle on Rebecca and Hogzilla from The Bigger They Are; The Louder They Oink. In fact; Main Course IS the template for Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink actually. I still like TaleSpin's version of the episode slightly better simply because Rhinokey sucks in the Main Course. Ooops; almost gave away the rating in advance there. Sorry. Hoppo pleads for mercy as the Pigmice head towards the angry VOLCANO OF MOUNT VON SUE ME WUZ as Narrator Stan pretty much explains the obvious to end the segment nearly sixteen and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the beach as the volcano wails some more in the background while the babyfaces make it to the beach while Narrator Stan proclaims that this is the first time that they used their heads in a situation. Now there is an intentional mistake if I ever saw one. For one; they have used their heads in almost every episode meaning it's the opposite of what Stan said and two; they haven't really used their head here and probably won't be in the next six minutes since Hoppo is going to be din-din. Bumblelion looks from afar to see that the Pirates are gone (Wow; Bumblelion has been eating his carrots too much) and of course we cut to the shot of the island and there is the SCREAM OF DEATH (I actually swiped this spot for Kit's famous scream when Pierce tried to squeeze his neck hard in Unforeseen Impact Chapter Three) as Eleroo is frightened. Butterbear claims it's Hoppo having a scream and the babyfaces ignores it as they hop into the raft; however, Bumblelion's pin pricks right into the inflatable raft and the air goes right out of that raft and plan all in one go. Man; that just makes Narrator Stan look even dumber than usual. Rhinokey cuts another bad joke right on cue as we cut into the jungle and we proceed with the worst CONTINUITY ERROR in the entire series. Remember how Hoppo was tied up before we went to break? Well; she's tied up in a different way and the entire structure the PigMice are using is completely different now. And King Squeaky Squeaky is with them. OH FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVE HO HOPPO! Where was Telecom's CONTINUITY MAN on THAT?! It is so painfully obvious that this is a terrible mistake. It's about as bad as when WildCat magically appeared in Lost Horizons on the Panda-La air machines when he was on the ground; or the SeaDuck somehow managing to get inside a room it shouldn't be able to get into in The Incredible Shrinking Molly. Even the losing tiger spot from Bigger made more sense than this. Logic Break #5 and another one I don't accept. Why do we need every episode in this series to have five plus logic breaks?
Hoppo pleads for mercy as she is trying so hard to make the animators look good; but no dice. We then cut to the beach as the Pirates have arrived on the other side and the Captain and his crew are looking for the babyfaces. Funny sigh gag: Before the pan over to the beach; the sail on the pirate ship is a green sweater with a yellow slant on it. If you turn that slant green and add a yellow patch; you have Kit's famous green sweater. Nice moment there guys as Captain wants advice from the BOOK OF LIES and it's the same: Blast them! The Captain likes that as the DUBBED ANIME STYLE gag is pretty amusing. Hey; it's 1985, what did you expect? Them to say “Damn them to hell”? The Pirates head into the jungle as we cut to the Pigmice and their king carrying Hoppo up the hill while Zip-A-Doo-Da Zip-A-Doo-Day is being mangled by King Squeaky Squeaky. I see the DTVA has already started burying Song of the South. Proof that Michael Eisner's plan all along was to kill racism by using racism. If you cannot figure that out then you are not insane like Michael Eisner see. Here comes Pirate Captain who manages to come in between the coaches and he invokes the REGAL CUTLASS on Hoppo. I see logic and reasoning have been thrown out the window in this episode which is par for the course when it comes to this series.
Of course; since the Pigmice have no real weapons; they scatter like scalded PigMice. I could have used BirdDogs; but that is seriously overplayed at this point. Hoppo drops on her can with a resounding thud and the Captain demands her jewels which Hoppo gleefully agrees to that. Sadly; she will panic again as he also wants to behead her more or less for torching his sails. Now there's a good heel in training right there: Threaten to kill someone for ruining something so trivial. Hoppo actually said miffed before somehow managing to untie herself and runs away towards King Squeaky Squeaky and demands that he save him. King agrees and the PigMice grab Hoppo and drag her towards the volcano. This is just plain too funny. I mean which is better: Volcano chow or beheading? Not much wiggle room to work with here Hoppo. Nice selling from Hoppo as the Captain doesn't like this and orders his crew to take her back to the ship. This lead to the tug-of-war spot and I think Hoppo wants to stop selling; but cannot. We head back to the beach as they continue to hear screaming and the babyfaces still call it a shriek of joy as Moosel uses the telescope and notices the green sweater on the pirate ship. Moosel wants to leave as more screaming from Hoppo and then Hoppo finally smartens up and yells for someone to save her. Butterbear finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY which Rhinokey blows off with another, say it with me, thinly veiled fat joke. Bumblelion sees this as a sign that the pirates might have her and they go into the jungle.
We then head back to the tug of war as there is no winner in sight apparently which is good news for Hoppo in one sense; but bad news in another. I'll let you figure out which is which. And here comes the babyfaces as Bumblelion demands that they let her go. Hoppo is HAPPY to see this revelation until Bumblelion tells them to help the PigMices. Eleroo brings out his red blood camera (another object that needs to be de-colorized) and it's the ZENON FLASH OF DEATH as the Captain is unimpressed and does his usual pirate talk which would get MURDERED on the animation forums today as Bumblelion invokes the pliers and it's the silliest sword fight in history. Jack Sparrow has NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING on this show and that's a good thing. The King agrees to help as the PigMice finally let go of Hoppo and it's the suction spears for them pirates. This is like the WAR OF BS&P. You cannot buy amuse like that these days. The Captain asks for more sage advice from First Mate Gag and his RED BOOK OF LIES and without even thinking I say Blast Them! I check the Youtube video....Damn; I'm good. Thankfully; the Captain blows him off for the obvious logic fallacy and we go to Plan B: Run away. That would be Don Karnage's favorite tactic so I guess he is reading the same book; except for the first part of blasting them.
They panic and run away stage left as the PigMice throw the suction spearsdown the hill. The Captain and his mates run out of sight as Hoppo thanks Bumblelion with the CRUSHING HUG OF DOOM. The king is happy and so Hoppo gets dragged away to the volcano again. HAHA! Out of the Pirate Pan into the Volcano Oven. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm..Bumblelion wonders why and Hoppo explains the whole thing in which Rhinokey cuts a thinly veiled fat joke right on cue. Bumblelion suddenly realizes that it's not a volcano; but the Miner CrabbyNiner blasting which King Squeaky Squeaky doesn't buy as he threatens to throw Bumblelion into the volcano too. Hoppo is retied and placed onto the carrier as Bumblelion runs away and goes into the mineshaft as we cut to see the Miner CrabbyNiner blasting with the plunger and Bumblelion buts in to warn him. The miner blows him off and he is such a stereotypical old geezer that I think it would be best if Hoppo does MURDER him with her weight for real. The world of WUZ would actually gain value. Then Miner CrabbyNiner gets shelled with various international objects as we cut to the top side where the Pigmice are throwing down stuff into the mineshaft. This is a misunderstanding gone out of control as Bumblelion proves to Miner CrabbyNiner that it's the PigMice who are throwing trash in his mineshaft. CrabbyNiner is had it and walks out to deal with King Squeaky Squeaky as we cut back to the top where Eleroo wants to do one last picture with the camera and it's time to retire that spot since it's getting way overplayed to be helpful.
Hoppo protests this (YAY!) as the PigMice do the Heave Ho Spot of Doom (apporos since she is supposed to be Heave Ho Hoppo. Nice CONTINUITY by the animators and writers) but Hoppo keeps saying zero to reset the timer. Now that is funny and really effective. No one ever said that barbarians were the sharpest knives in the drawer. And then Miner CrabbyNiner pops up from the top and that forces the PigMice to throw Hoppo in the opposite direction as King Squeaky Squeaky isn't happy to see this. We then see Hoppo bounce down the hill and then do a bowling spot to continue to amuse me. Wow; my opinion of Hoppo has risen about five notches today. This leaves Rhinokey as the weakest character now. Then again; joke character are the lazy ones so it's apporos. CrabbyNiner is unamused at the king's party flavors and basically tells them to get lost. I wish they threw Hoppo onto him so that it would adjust his attitude; but since death is not allowed in this show; we get this finish. CrabbyNiner threatens to blow off his top and the King and this gang run down the volcano like a bunch of scalded PigMice. Because they think CrabbyNiner is the god of the volcano see which is downright cute. And of course they REPEAT THE EXACT SAME SPOT with the Mooslide as Hoppo lands right in the mud. And I wish I was thirty years old in 1985; so I could go door to door and remind the writers to NOT REPEAT SPOTS. Rhinokey blows him off and then eats mud for his trouble. Boy; Hoppo is FEELING IT BABEE!
So we cut back to the ChugBoat as they apparently repaired the thing as everyone sits down on the floor as Hoppo uses her ass to plug up the ChugBoat from the cannon ball earlier. See; make the joke and pay it off. Too bad the actual hole was closer to the engine room; but that's a minor logic break compared to most in this episode. Hoppo has the pink ice pack on her head and resting against a pink pillow as she blows off Bumblelion's thinking of a good time. I think Hoppo has earned that right and her crew cut here. Rhinokey is relaxing in her chair complete with sunglasses as he calls this vacation a success which Hoppo blows off. She proclaims that she'll never take a vacation again which Eleroo proclaims is a good thing because he still has the pictures which will be used to haunt Hoppo for the rest of her life. HAHA! Hoppo slaps the camera and it falls right into the ocean blue. I see someone hates crimson red as much as I do. Sadly; the camera nails the Monkeybass as he rises from the ocean (now there's a joke the writers didn't have to pay off) and it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE FISH EDITION~! Narrator Stan wraps this one up for us as the Chugboat chugs into the sunset to end the episode at 21:45. The logic break dragged this one quite a bit thanks to the Chuck Tately style logic break in the third act; but Hoppo was a blast here. This was a lot more enjoyable than Dances With BigFoot that's for sure. **** ( 80%)
THE REVIEW LINE
I think I have been too hard on this series despite the mess this series makes at times. This one had it's share of messes as there was a Chuck Tately style logic break after the third act and I think we never get to see the Pirates leave the island despite the Wuzzles leaving in their original ChugBoat. However; despite that, I thought the episode was really good which is amazing considering that this is Hoppo who is considered the second weakest character in the series. She looked awesome as she was bumping and paying off jokes and building spots properly. It made for interesting viewing since any attempt by the male Wuzzles to get away from Hoppo would make them babyface in any other episode; but here she did so much work that she got my sympathy for her and therefore the male Wuzzles (minus Bumblelion who wanted to save her at all costs) were basically heels for trying to dump her. I'm also glad that they finally found a way to use Butterbear as the female blocker to allow Bumblelion's plan to work.
I didn't care too much about CrabbyNiner (I made up the name as a fused version of the crappy Miner 49er from Scooby Doo, Where Are You?) as he was the usual old stereotype geezer. I did like King Squeaky Squeaky despite the really crappy name and the whole plot was basically a good template for TaleSpin to later recycle. Oh; and don't forget Baboon Bass because there's nothing like a half monkey half fish to chase around and create bad internal logic out of. Overall; I liked this episode; but I wish the animators would stop the overuse of preschool colors and try to fuse in some natural colors to balance it out. It would make for a much more interesting series overall instead of being seen as a preschool show to sell toys. The Wuzzles has a great concept; but the intentional targeting audience to 3-6 year old children hurt a series that could have been awesome in the long run and even give Gummi Bears a run for it's money. So now we head to the last two episodes of the series: Class Dismissed (Miss Pedigree's first appearance I do believe) and What's Up Stox? (Tycoon's first appearance) For the weekend and then Bulls of a Feather pilot episode to end the month of April for good. I've really enjoyed this since the pacing is similar to TaleSpin; but the action is much less making it easy to rant on. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.