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Recipe For Adventure
Reviewed: 04/23/2011
Moltoc & Joker: Separated At Birth!!
Welcome kiddies to the 2011 edition of Easter Sadism as I return to one of the worst series in all of DTVA. No; it's not Fluppy Dogs, I already ranted on that one for the Fathers Day specials. It's back to Quack Pack and those “push the crappy button” nephews. Unlike the last time when I was ranting on the DVD; this time I'll be picking what might be the worst episodes in Quack Pack history. Think of this as the Disney version of the Agony Booth; but without the HD pictures. Our second victim is the episode that features Blastismorkia Baseball which I mentioned back in Transmission Impossible. Only this time; it's a full subplot rather than a tease. Oh; did I mention that this is the official debut of Moltoc; the so called main villain of this show? So; let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Nick Kramer and Ned Teitelbaum. The story is edited by the late Gary Sperling (passed away in 2003). Ned started as a writer for America's Most Wanted, and then it was Home Improvement, Angela Anaconda, The Zeta Project and Friends & Heroes. He was also an assistant for The Color of Evening. Quack Pack is his DTVA debut and he also did episodes for Recess. I have nothing for Nick Kramer; unless he's the one who did acting in shorts such as Now Hiring and Saint Passion's Landing. As for Gary; it's all DTVA starting with Darkwing Duck until Kim Possible when he finally passed away. I do not have any clue who did the animation since Juan F. Lara didn't note that in his review of this very episode. Although; since in one scene; there are red flashes; I'm guessing Sunwoo did this episode.
Opening Moment #1: Today's title card features a steamy bacon, egg, cheese, lettuce sandwich shaped like Donald Duck's mug. Okay; that was pretty funky.
We begin this one at Gwumpki's place (Oh....boy!) as we waste no time flushing this episode down the crapper. Now I don't have to remind you what I think of Gwumps now do I? We zoom in as we see Gwump's flipping burgers on a oiled sheet of metal. Then we cut to the nephews as Huey does a praise on the one and the only....Gwumps invokes the WCW KEY OF DOOM on the CHEST OF DEMONS (complete with devil's manhoods tied up) as he gets out the red bottle of hot sauce. Ummm; yeah. I am so not impressed. He squirts it on the three burgers and we get smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING AND ANY QUACK PACK EPISODE!). The nephews call it Gwumpki's Secret Sauce as they sniff the burgers and float up about three times their height. Whatever guys.
Gwumps calls it an ancient family recipe as the broken Euro English is in full force here. He then goes to his suitcase and fill it up because he's in a rush. See; a great honor has been bestoved on him since he's going back home to cook for the Queen known as Queen Batla. So Gwumps shows them a picture of the Queen and I seriously believe that Blastismorkia should fire and/or execute the photographer for that Gedo banana yellow background. So we get our SEXIST GIRL OF THE DAY for the nephews to oodle over. Gwumps then asks them if they would like to go with him and the broken English is getting on my nerves as I cannot understand half of what he is saying. Geez Patrick Fraley; did you think this role was such a good idea for your career? Just because Tim Curry got away with it in Kinsley does not mean you can. The nephews call this extreme as Dewey decides to annoy the nephews by claiming that queens like smart types. Riiiiiiggghhhhtttttt Dewey. This is Blastismorkia we are talking about here; the most racist country in all of Europe...and behind Europe. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Laughable screw up: Dewey's shove on the nephews doesn't even make contact with them missing by at least 3 feet; but the nephews over sell it anyway. Gwumps claims that the Queen likes honor the most. So honor is like being a broken Euro stereotype. Got it Gwumps. Huey (with picture) claims that he has honor. He sure has honor and it's all low. How low? (Points to his groin) THAT LOW! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmmm.....
Dewey steals the picture because he's the queen's guy. Louie does the invisable poke on the shoulder spot and then steals the picture from behind like a back fighter; but Gwumps steals it back at once and laughs before any more damage can be done to the animators. Gwumps does not call that honor at all and then we get a coo-coo-clock on the back wall that is a buffalo's head with it's tongue wagging from side to side. Ooooookkkkkkkaaayyyyy. Gwumpi proclaims that the royal plane is leaving and he must be off as he bails stage right. The nephews proclaim that they have just a few hours to con their uncle Donald as they exit stage right. Then we pan over to a Joker dead-ringer wearing a trench coat, fedora hat and black gloves as he is reading the newspaper. Seriously; with the yellow white's of the eyes, Edge's teeth and whiter than white skin; he looks almost like the Joker. I'm guessing by proxy that this is our main villain of the series Moltoc. Ummm; yeah, real smooth move guys. Warner Brothers must be laughing their asses off seeing this. He does an evil smile and that ends the scene. Whatever.
So we head to a shot of the badly designed airplane wing (check the tears, papers and bolt flying from the wing) as the signs of stereotyping are in full force. Now come on guys; you know that plane isn't air worthy and not even a racist country would fly like that. Did I fail to mention that it looks like a seaplane from the old TaleSpin cartoon? Anyhow; we zip in unrealistic ways (much like Quack Pack in general actually) as we head inside the passenger area as Gwumps, Donald, the nephews and Daisy (oh goody!) are sitting in the wooden chairs with their seat belts on. Well; that's more reasonable than I thought it would be. Until you realize that the cargo is in the same room as the passenger seats. There are flies animated badly around Donald Duck just to piss him off as a goat whip's it's tail which misses by a mile before walking off. I have no idea what the writers were shooting for there. So we have our second animation screw up of the episode less than two minutes in. Gwumps is enjoying himself as the nephews throw raspberries at each other for goodness knows what reason. Daisy thanks Gwumps for the trip which makes me want to question Daisy's sanity at this point.
Anyhow; a fat lady airplane server (Huh? In this old tub) enters from the cockpit and throws bags of what we are supposed to think is peanuts; but I somehow doubt it. Donald gets giddy as he shakes the bag of stuff (which looks like old containers of food); but the goat steals it from him and Donald gets all pissed off and plays tug-of-war with the goat's horns. Gwump proclaims to Daisy that she really needs to see the country as the female usher looks on with some disdain and the lights dim as the pilot speaks that the in-flight movie will now play which is called the Importance of Blastismorkia. We start with a B&W screen of a flag and a goat goes through it Warner Brothers style. Oh swell; you can just hear Bugs Bunny in the background saying: “Geez; what a bunch of ultra-maroons.”
So we bring in a human wizard with a crystal ball as the crystal ball is called The Eclipse. Or he created one with the crystal ball. Oh and the crystal ball drops on his foot for no reason whatsoever. Foot grabbing spot ensue as he hops stage left and in comes a wooden puppet (!!!) as he sits on the ball as the announcer proclaims that the one who gets the magic crystal ball can use it to issue commands as we see various stuff that shows that this wooden puppet clearly thinks too small. Still makes more sense than this episode in general though. Then we see various puppets fighting over the orb in a matter than is so Z-Grade it's too funny. It ends with the king puppet throwing the crystal into the dead ringer for the Legend of Mana stone face guy cave. We then cut to color as we see the CHEST OF DEMON's opening and Moltoc hiding inside proclaiming that it will be his. Anyhow; we end with a shot of the village artwork which is so bad that I wonder if this is a serious rib on Euro animation. If so; then someone needs to be flogged. And of course the film tears up at the end and since the writers believe that racist Euro sobbing is funny; Gwumps sobs like a baby right on cue. Daisy is not amused and I don't blame her. She needs to get the hell out of this cartoon; fast!
Thankfully; we cut to a shot of the village of Blastismorkia as the airplane lands as the side door opens and someone literally throws the goat out which has two ropes attached to it's horns. WHAT THE HELL? The goat's horns stick to the ground and that allows the plane to slow down as it comes to a landing without further incident and the goat does a forward roll for good measure. We then see Gwumps running out with glee as the nephews are confused as hell. Gwumpi kisses the grass of course as if the country is his girlfriend and I say this guy seriously needs to get laid quickly. And he rides the goat and the goat's back nearly get broken in a million pieces in the process. Okay; that was pretty funny. Dewey takes this as a yes as we see a vendor selling Blastismorkia kabobs as Donald drops his suitcases and gets all giddy. Well; this makes sense since he is so hungry. Donald tries to run in; but the entire population of Blastismorkia runs in like a bunch of bulls as they surround the vendor much to Donald's disdain and by the time the scene changer of doom beckons (because we just have to have a pointless jump cut); the vendor is completely sold out. The dressage of the population is clearly a cross between German and Dutch I should point out. Donald does get the MAP OF THE STARS for his trouble though. Hey; you can always eat the map. It's not like we haven't seen that before, right Daisy Duck? POW! OUCH! Ummm...Still sore after the comic book writers make you eat your diary in the 1950's huh?
So we get some unpacking of the plane spots to waste time as we have a blueish skin monster of a man grab the luggage ordering them to come with him. And apparently; Daisy now has the star map for no real reason that I can see. I'm guessing the blue skin monster is the cab driver since there is no cab driver in the golf like jeep. So he's voiced by Jess Harnell by the way. The nephews follow him as we see Moltoc hiding behind the saloon like building and does absolutely nothing of course. So we cut back to Gwumps proclaiming how nice the service is (man; Borat is a BLAST compared to Gwumps. And I mean that in the nicest way possible) and of course the jeep leaves without him. The nephews use rope seat-belts as they sit on hay blocks. Oh yeah; who needs those pesky auto safety laws in America eh?! So Donald and Daisy are at the corner as another jeep arrives and we have a normal cab driver (so there are two of them? SHOCKING! He is voiced by Jess Harnell) and he offers Daisy's hand as she get the front seat. Donald notices and is not amused one bit. Ah; I see Donald still has feelings for her even now. I see the FCC Navy brainwashing is not working as well as it should. Donald throws the luggage into the back which contains a pig, some cocks and some flies. Of course; the jeep leaves without Donald of course as Donald chases it. Welcome to my life Donald. We then cut back to Moltoc proclaiming that his Krackpotkin Plan is working perfectly. Moltoc is voiced by Tim Curry and this is a running joke of his voicing villains for duck programs: Tarus Bullba for Darkwing Duck, Moltoc for this show and some villain from Mighty Ducks: The Series. I mean; what does Tim Curry have against ducks? Maybe he's the cure for Cartoon Duck Syndrome. Did you ever think of that Juan F. Lara? Of course people forget that he voiced Klang in TaleSpin which involves a bear, ape and fox. So my theory holds more water anyway.
So we head back to the front of the cab as the cab driver is putting the hots on Daisy; who has the Gruffi pose on full blast. Donald is paranoid; what a surprise?! Daisy proclaims that she is covering Blitz Days for television. So it was DAISY who conned Donald into this? Wow; that just makes the nephews even more useless now as we see Donald in the back getting licked by the pig. HAHA! Did I mention that this episode uses a lot of silly stock music? Anyhow; the cab driver explains the country a bit to waste time as we drive over the hill and the blue monster cab goes through the right fork called Trouble into the cave which breaks down the conviently placed barrier while the Daisy/Donald cab goes left through the proper way. I think it's safe to say that the blue skin monster works for Moltoc; if the blue skin didn't give that away from the outset. Anyhow; we get our first logic break of the episode as we don't even bother going out of the cave as the jeep heads into the marketplace already. The blue skin monster tells him to get his ingredients for the secret sauce as Gwumps gleefully agrees to do so and gets out. The nephews get out of the back as they realize that the secret sauce isn't so secret here. NO?! REALLY?! Anyhow; we then cut to a stage where a fortune teller (and her crow) yells to them to ask if they want their fortunes told. I guess the BS&P way of showing someone Jewish is to have a triangle shaped chin; instead of the usual triangle shaped nose that is often used as a stereotype. Yes folks; this is the Quack Pack version of Magica Despell and Poe; and the designs suck like crap. The nephews advance forward much to the disgust of the blue skin monster cab driver as the fortune teller addresses herself as Muska. Oooookkkkkkaaayyyy; so she's Muska Dispall. AHHAHAHAHAHA! She sees all, knows all and she's cheap. Sorry; but Dale is much funnier than you.
So the nephews ask which nephew will the queen choose and Muska (I'm guessing Kath Souice since Juan F. Lara's missed about four or five voices already for this episode) consoles her crystal ball as it glows. I wonder if Sunwoo is animating this episode. And then the crystal ball stops glowing; the crow squawks and Muska puts a sign that says Out To Lunch. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The nephews are not amused by that as we cut back to Gwumps checking a big ass tomato with his diamond eye lens of doom. Sadly; the tomatoes do not fit his lofty standards. See; they are not red enough as Moltoc finally appears and calls Gwumps a goner. If only Moltoc; if only. See, Moltoc has special produce in the back. Now anyone with an IQ of 8 or above would realize that a white Joker type face is a sign that you need to get the hell out of here; or you are room feed. Sadly; Gwumps has an IQ of 7 and he walks into the back; opens the door and gets shoved in by Moltoc as somehow the blue skin monster has teleported into the house somehow and has rope. Logic break #2 for the episode nearly seven minutes in. Gwumps calls this a big mistake. I agree and it's your IQ level. As Ed Brayton; when you hit less than eight; it's time to sell.
Anyhow; we head back to the fortune teller's place with the nephews sitting on two big ass pillows with Gruffi poses on to annoy me. Wait; I thought the place was a small stage only and not a big tent?! Logic break #3 for the episode. And we were chugging along in that area so well too. Muska finally comes back from lunch as she offers the nephews to gaze into the crystal ball. The nephews jump up; but then turn around BEFORE the engines even start and they notice the blue skin monster cab driver driving away the jeep with Gwumps in the back seat. Logic break #4: Remember that the cab driver had rope with him? Well; on the shot where Gwumps is being driven away; Gwumps isn't tied up AT ALL. So we have three logic breaks in less than thirty seconds. Peachy, absolutely peachy. The nephews wonder why Gwumps would leave without them and how are they going to meet the queen. Anyhow; the fortune teller's crystal ball is working now (check the smoke inside) as it shows the face of Moltoc as he has kidnapped Gwumps. The nephews then instantly bury the villain by asking who the heck is Moltoc and why has he kidnapped Gwumps. Ummm; he's the main villain of the series and you should be familiar to him guys. Anyhow; the crystal ball fizzles out (what a surprise) as Muska blows off the cheap Blasto crystal. Something tells me they got their craftsmanship from Thembria and they skipped the crappy quality control assurance sections. The nephews slap skin as this will be a test of their honor and they get a date with the queen see. The nephews try to exit; but Muska yells for them to stop because no one has ever ventured to the DRAGON'S CAVE OF DOOM to get the orb and come out ALLLLIIIIVVVVEEEE~! Oh man; that was terrible acting as the nephews gulp in fear and that ends the segment nearly nine minutes in. Another fair start by Quack Pack standards and at the logic breaks have been kept to a minimum thus far. However; remember that the infamous racist baseball game has yet to come into play.....
After the commercial break; we head to the CREEPY FACED FOREST OF DOOM (Is this near the LAND OF WUSS....ERRR...I mean WUZ or something?) as Dewey runs away and joins the group. Huh? Why was Dewey running away for? Dewey shows his clothes torn as we get the EVIL CAT SMILE OF DEATH in one of the trees and since these are not the Ducktales nephews; they run away like scalded ducks stage right. The running motions are hilarious in this as Louie shoves everyone aside; but nearly goes over the ABYSS OF ROSES (check the thorns on the vines below) before the nephews reel him in. The nephews wonder how to get across the abyss; and Dewey notices the conviently placed stone bridge. The nephews run towards the bridge which has a toll crossing and a blue uniform human guard sweeping the RIC FLAIR BROOM OF DOOM. The nephew try to cross; but the barrier comes down and the nephews do not like that at all. Then we see a blue zombie guard come out calling it a toll booth. Oh man; I do not like where this is going. Wasn't the guard normal human skinned when we first saw it? My head hurts. The nephews try their pockets and they have only 12 cents and two sticks of gum which clearly isn't enough for the zombie to sell. The nephews then try the thief and run method; but the zombie blows them off and invokes the lever (WRONG LEVER!) inside his booth and trap doors the bridge. Geez; that isn't the ellusion of this series being canceled short in anyway no siree.
The nephew plead for him to reconsider because it's a matter of honor and they have to save Gwumps and Blitz Day. That is of course enough for the toll keeper to open the draw bridge and the barrier as the nephews run to save the day. The Thembrians must be laughing their asses off right now; or would be if they could because if you laugh in Thembria: YOU CAN BE SHOT! Anyhow; at this point; this has been just another average cluster muck in the world of Quack Pack. Now the episode is about to take a turn for the worse as we logically head to....The Blastopkia Baseball field. That's right folks; Donald and Daisy are going to play Blastopkia's second biggest sport in the land; next to pigeon tickling of course. Or as I like to call it; the most RACIST baseball game ever played. And that covers A LOT of ground. Sorry folks; I am not going to even bother to dignify this with a response as Donald gets involved as the baseball players force him against his will. If you wonder how Donald Duck lost all his heat as a character; this is the sport that did him in. At least in the World War II brainwashing cartoons; at least there was the remote excuse of a world war going on. This has zero excuse written all over it. Oh and Donald gets the salami bat which is sacred in the country. Since Donald is hungry; he pours mustard over it as Daisy has a headache. Trust me Daisy; eating the salami bat would be the most enlightening thing this country has ever seen; so eating it is the least of this country's problems. Yes; there are waiters who serve lettuce (the most racist baseball in history) as the cab driver tries to cover up that fact as a cabbage; but I'm not fooled. I'm not going to even bother calling this because the spots are so surreal. I'll just let Daisy say it best....
Daisy: Terrific...Donald is causing an international incident.
And this sequence is so terrible that Kath Soucie doesn't even bother to act that line either. I think it's safe to say that these writers didn't get another job with Disney again after this piece of crap. As least most of Donald's shots with the salami bat made contact on the baseball player so it's not a total loss. The umpire blows the whistle (too late sir; the damage to Disney Television's reputation is unrepairable. Move on to Flash now.)
So we head to the DRAGON CAVE OF DOOM as we see the jeep on the west pan shot along with a large brick stove near the dragon's mouth. We see Moltoc proclaiming that once he has the golden orb; he'll rule the world. Man; Moltoc is such a silly villain that I couldn't take seriously even if I tried. Gwumps asks why he is involved and the blue skin monster cab driver proclaims that he is needed since his burger recipe is key to opening the door. So Moltoc goes over and does the worst slapping I have ever seen this side of Milo's bonk punch on Clamantha. Seriously; the slaps missed by six inches. It's also his line as well which just buries him even further. The monster apologizes and Moltoc tells him to know his place. Apparently; Moltoc doesn't know his place considering what the writers have rendered him. See Moltoc did his research by bribing head waiters and discovered that the king placed a spell over the front door which can only be opened by the Blasto Secret Recipe of Doom. Gwumps proclaims that he is a man of honor and will not help hatch evil Krackpotkin plan. Yeah; Gwumps is so poisonous that he's making ME speak broken English. So Moltoc decides to torture him by....wait for it...burning marshmallows? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL--?! Even the stupid snake hissing spot from Luck 'O' The Ducks from Ducktales was more painful than this. If Gwumps agrees to help Moltoc on this then this show is racist. I check the Youtube video....DAMN YOU WRITERS TO HELL!
We cut to a far shot as the nephews watch on in horror of this bigotry by the writers. The nephews ponder about saving Gwumps and of course the blue skinned monster cab driver somehow teleports all the way from the cave entrance to the nephews and grabs them by the shirts. I've stopped counting logic breaks a long time ago and I'm not in the mood to count them anymore here. So we go to the scene changer as Gwumps cooks up some burgers and serves them on a blue platter for Moltoc. Moltoc invokes the twinkle toe spot to the rock slab in front of the cave mouth. Who the hell does Moltoc think he is; Fred Flintstone? He puts the platter down as the smell engulfs the dragon rock face; but there is a no sell going on. Moltoc is pissed off as Gwumps thinks it's the wrong cave. Moltoc is not buying it as he gets right into Gwumps' face. Then the zombie monster cab driver comes in with the nephews as Moltoc sees this as finally getting some results. The nephews gulp as their honorable ways are dying by the second as this ends the segment 14 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we see Moltoc slapping the burgers back on the grill as Gwumps is forced to bring out his real sauce as the nephews plead for him not to do it as they are tied up and hanging by a rope over a giant ass meat grinder which Moltoc and the monster cab driver gladly demonstrate. Okay; this is a reasonable torture device. Although if they really wanted to make this scene work; Moltoc would go like: “I know your #1 sport in this country is pigeon tickling; but I have no pigeons to tickle. So these ducks will have to do on short notice.” That way it pays off the joke from Transmission Impossible and it would show that the nephews don't need to be protected...Oh wait; that's why they went for the meat grinder death trap. I club BS&P! Needless to say; Gwumps gives up and cooks the burgers properly as Moltoc orders. They are placed on the platter as Moltoc places the platter on the rock slab with no twinkle toe sound effect present. The smell engulfs the dragon rock face's nose and we get a rumble sequence as the trees sway and the mouth of the dragon opens with a neon green light inviting them. The nephews seem impressed. Since they are impressed; I'm not. Moltoc cheers for victory as apparently; the orb of blitz is his as he runs in. Gwumps doesn't know what to make of this and apparently neither does the zombie cab driver.
So we go to the scene changer and we have Donald riding goat in the country side; so we are back to baseball and it's still too surreal to call. Oh and the cab driver and Daisy dance as Daisy asks how much trouble Donald is in and the cab driver proclaims that he's not in trouble at all and that he is awesome in roundabout terms. Daisy suddenly realizes that this is good and cheers for Donald. Oh TAG Daisy Duck! Still refuse to call the spots as Donald makes coleslaw natch. Give me a f***in break Disney! Of course it's the post game celebration according to the cab driver (as Daisy has Scrooge's cane with a D flag on it) since the yak licking sport is next. I guess it's the #3 sport in Blasto. Daisy has had it and wants to interview the queen now. So Daisy runs in and grabs Donald and drags him away stage left. Thank you Daisy Duck for having the sense that went along with your character.
So we head back to the entrance to the cave as the babyfaces are in the cage and we pan west to the monster cab driver filing his toenails. So yes folks; Brad forcing Gunther to file his toenails was NOT a recent gross spot either. So we head back to the cage as the nephews are blowing off each other because according to Huey; the coin of Duckberg is more powerful than the orb of Blasto. Well; he does have a point there, ask Scrooge McDuck about his number one MacGruffin....ERRR...I mean number one dime. Of course we find out according to Dewey's acting that this is a clear setup to get the monster to open the cage door and I betcha he falls for it like the dumb monster cab driver that he is. I check the Youtube video.....Before we move on; I see Huey has remembered Heavy Dental and makes Dewey sell the chicken spot. Whatever. Then it's a dog. I hope he doesn't act like a monkey like Louie did because there is clearly no poop to sling around and you need that to get the spot over. Monster jaw drops.....and we have a logic break as the penny turns into a dime in Dewey's hand. That coin IS magical. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Monster opens cage, Dewey throws coin (that turns back into a penny), monster drops into the cage and grabs penny despite being outside and damn; I am so good.
The monster has the penny and he commands them to let him out; so the nephews blow him off because they don't have time to sell him the Duckberg bridge and they exit into the cave. Dewey tells Gwumps to guard Lug (so he has a name now?) as they go after Moltoc. Wait a second? If Gwumps is the focus character; shouldn't he be with the nephews so he can redeem himself?! I will never understand Quack Pack; I really can't. So we head inside the cave as Moltoc makes it to the alter with the golden orb on top. Moltoc does his standard villain speech declaring victory while trying to use a big ass puppet to gain heat. It doesn't work as he goes on for too long as the nephews manage to get on top in front of the scales guarding the orb which is now green. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? We've been talking about a golden orb for the entire episode; and this orb is GREEN? How stupid are these writers? Wouldn't it hurt to say that it's the Blasto Green Orb or something? The nephews grab the orb as Moltoc proclaims that you cannot just grab the orb and all hell breaks loose. Or the spikes from the ceiling break. Same thing basically. I should point out that they are using public domain music in this sequence. Isn't it funny that everyone blasted TaleSpin for being unoriginal and yet almost all the music in TaleSpin was done from scratch by Christopher L. Stone? All while Ducktales used public domain stock music along with Quack Pack?
Then all hell breaks loose literally as lava spews out, Moltoc gets squashed and arrow machine guns shoot arrows with red flashes. Ah; Sunwoo IS animating this episode; which explains the screw ups nicely doesn't it. Then Moltoc pops up and gets pinned to the wall with the arrows despite the arrow being nowhere near height Moltoc was. Whatever guys. The alter sinks as Louie grabs the hanging rope (which came from the broken scale) and the nephews swing like Tarzan. They manage to get to the other side and exit stage left as the orb suddenly turns red right on cue. Moltoc jumps over some stones with some effort; but he is generally pissed off. If it's due to the writers burying him before he even starts; then be as pissed off as you want to be Moltoc. The poison of the nephews does that to people. Oh and he gets his ass lit on fire which actually hits for a change. The nephews run out of the cave as the orb turns light blue now as Gwumps is happy to see the nephews safe. I don't have that kind of sympathy there sir as the nephews yell at him that Moltoc is on their tail. Whirlwind spot on Gwumps ensues just to annoy me as he proclaims that he doesn't like Moltoc. Something tells me the writers don't like him either.
Gwumps exits stage right as Moltoc tumbles down the stairs just in the correct position to get buried under the rumble of the dragon rock's face. Oh that wasn't contrived in the very least, no siree. We cut to the babyfaces (as the orb is now lime green) as Gwumps proclaims that they can still make it to the party and the queen. So we have more than a minute left in this episode I should point out. So we head to inside the palace of Blasto as the noble humans mingle with the other noble humans. This is actually the most classy part of the entire episode I should point out. We discover that Donald and Daisy are inside as well as Donald has the camera and Daisy is narrating that the orb is locked safely in the vault. Huh? Already? Whatever. We all know where this episode is ending as I betcha the nephews want to oodle with the queen and Queen Blata appears and she's so ugly the nephews are instantly repulsed by it. I check the Youtube video....Damn; I am so good. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT's a quality pay off; the first one in this series. The nephews are SHOCKED, APPALLED and HORRIFIED by that kisser. The queen before she takes off the blue veil is voiced by Kath Souice, afterwards it's Tim Curry. How fitting eh? The nephews want no part of this as they try to weasel their way out of it by betraying one of the nephews to go first. Gwumps likes this as the queen proclaims that she is not going to kiss them; but it's her granddaughter as the exact person from the picture at the beginning of the episode appears. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? I take it back; this isn't the quality payoff I was expecting. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! Did I mention stupid?! This makes no sense since Gwumps addresses the grand daughter as the QUEEN when the QUEEN is the old lady! Of course the nephews get all seduced and push and shove each other like the sexists that they are. Thankfully; we go to a far shot of the country outside as the nephews continue to bicker to mercifully end the episode at 21:07. Better than Ducks By Nature; since the logic of the overall episode still makes sense for the most part; but man it was really crappy to watch. And the baseball scene was clearly tacked on and it destroyed all of Donald's heat in the process. I betcha the FCC Navy is kicking themselves not sending Donald to play Blasto baseball. This rates 4.2 on the Cuckoo scale. -** ¾ (-55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I'll give Recipe for Adventure this; the storyline was the basic kidnapping plot that logically made sense in the grand scheme of things; but once again the crappy button got pushed every time. The nephews sense of honor was dishonorable as they only cared about the girl instead of doing the good deed that goes with honor. Moltoc was completely destroyed heat wise as he did jack crap throughout. The zombie monster cab driver was the best character of the entire episode and that isn't saying much at all. Gwumps was his usual crappy self and the whole Blasto baseball game was surreal to watch in real time as it was on television in Transmission Impossible. It's too surreal to be even called as racist which might be worse than merely racist. Daisy's shoot quote on Donald was dead on as an allegory for the episode in general. Sub Donald for the writers and you'll get the full picture. There were fewer logic breaks then Ducks By Nature; but that's only because Ducks By Nature was a mess up script due to a disaster pilot project that was nixed at the last minute. This episode was written on purpose which in some ways makes the writer seem like bigger bigots than they already are. Oh; and when they finally do a great finish in having the nephews kiss an old lady; they whiz it away by breaking logic just to make the nephews save face from learning something good. Just wonderful eh?
So I got through 2/3 of Easter Sadism and now the last episode (which is on Easter Sunday) will be Tasty Paste; which might just be the worst of the three. So while Recipe For Adventure is the best of the Easter Sadism; it's......
Thumbs way the hell down IN HELL for this episode and I'll see you next time.