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Pride Goeth Before The Fall Guy
Reviewed: 01/19/2013
Pride Goeth Before Michael Eisner Turned Silly...
Well; the next three episodes are out of order (AGAIN!) as this one is #5 on the air date order (The Boy Who Cried Ghost is #27 and Ready! Aim! Duck! is unlucky #13 on the air date paper) and I decided to pick the second episode I was planning on to do first because I don't want to do tributes today and this episode has none. Apparently; Donald hires an assistant and he's a criminal who wants to steal a key to the Fourth Columbus Ship which is being profile by What In The World. Okay; this might be fun. So; let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Robert Stanley. The story was edited by Douglas Langdale . I have nothing on this writer anywhere; so I'm not confident here. Sadly; Juan F. Lara did not release the animation studio here.
Opening Moment #1: Today's title card features Donald with video camera being almost buried in sand near the ocean. Oh lord; why does this show test me so?
So we begin this episode with pink skies and Daisy on the microphone with a look of "why am I doing this crap?". That amuses me to no end. So Daisy is commenting on a little history of Christopher Columbus as there are three ships which are the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. Okay Daisy; you are right, except Nina is a nickname. The real names of the ships are: Santa Maria which is known as ex-Gallega (Galician) which was the largest ship known as a carrack; the Pinta was a smaller caravel also known in English as Painted; but the third ship which you claim is the Nina; is really the Santa Clara which is also a caravel. Nina means Girl and it's owner was female Juan Nino of Mouger. At least the scroll paper pan shot was done right since the Santa Maria is the largest of the three ships. We discover that Daisy is on a dock with a cliff in the background which means at some point; the quality will hit the cliff faster than the fiscal cliff of America could ever achieve. Daisy states that this is the isle of Krimey which is off the coast of Florida which implies that Duckberg takes place in Florida despite the fact that in Ducktales; it was closer to New York as seen in Double-O-Duck. I shake my head in disbelief. We then see a boat propped up above water as apparently; there is a fourth ship of Christopher Columbus called the...wait for it..The Snooki. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! No wonder we didn't know about this; it's the Jersey Shore ship with all the sleaze, peeing, sex and drugs going on behind Christopher's back. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We see a television and zoom out as we see a living room. There is a little man on the green love seat wearing a gray suit; gray pants, red bow tie and has big ass jaws with black hair. Daisy also points out that only her crew at What In The World is going to be able to film this ship as there is a Key of Carpathia inside. Carpathia refers to a steamship notable for rescuing passenger from the sinking of the Titanic in 1912. Good to know as the little midget proclaims that no security can deny him. The Rob Paulsen voice clearly indicates that this man is Nigel Nightshade who he proclaims is the greatest thief in the world. I don't buy that for one second and this introduction doesn't endear me. More on that later..
So we head back to the docks as Kent Powers' LOVEBOAT OF PAIN is here and Kent is blowing off Donald as one of the doors open and Kent punts Donald away and BS&P just couldn't resist making the animators pad the docks with a pile of raw fish to break Donald's fall. This looks like extreme padding; where have I seen this before? Oh yeah; the new Disney shows. Apparently; Donald is the worst cameraman in the world and should be planning ahead instead. So you planned to walk into the door and smash your face in it. I can't take anything you say seriously when Donald is getting blown off Kent. Donald climbs out of the fish tomb with a fish that apparently had eaten him in half; and yes, the fish is a big ass fish. So Donald uses his webfeet and somehow gets the fish off of him as Nigel arrives and taps Donald on the shoulder. The sound effects guys are dumb because instead of the tap sound effect; they use what is known as the blinking eye sound effect which I hate. Nigel shows him a pencil and notebook because he wants an autograph and he's a big fan of Donald. Donald signs the autograph as Nigel butters him up and Donald's brain gets bigger. That's no inflated ego; you should see Dewey's brain when he's playing Smug For Brains. Anyhow; the problem with this is, there is not much sympathy for Donald here because we already know that Nigel is a sleazy heel because he admitted it as such. This is supposed to be like Stormy Weather; but Dan Dawson was a lot more subtle and the subtleness of the episode made it emotional; and Dan played a really good chess game; not becoming a full heel until he cut the safety belt of Kit Cloudkicker and forced him to free fall to do the flaming hoops stunt. The writers already have killed the guy's heel heat because they didn't build up the heel and blew their load two minutes into it. It's not the first time I have seen it; Gummi Bears did the same thing (with the gullible victim named Grammi); but it annoys me because I lose enjoyment watching this.
Nigel throws the notebook into the out of nowhere pail of bait to show how much quality this show has; since Donald should have clearly seen it. Just put it in your pocket; wait until Donald goes back to Kent when you act like Molly Cunningham asking to be his assistant and then throw it away. It's still subtle heel heat; costs you nothing and it pisses off the fans. So Donald gets punted again by Kent and this time there is less padding as Nigel wants to talk to Kent as we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on three minutes in. Did I just say..?! Never mind as we head to Kent's pool area with yellow glass and Kent's image on the wall as Kent is relaxing in his hot tub no selling Nigel's request to become an assistant to Donald since Kent claims that this is a no frills zone. Kent is the perfect psychopath CEO and makes Shere Khan look like a saint. Nigel then points out that Kent has a pimple on his nose which turns big ass for no reason. Kent looks in the mirror as the image shows him looking like a zombie. That is exactly what happens. Damn; that mirror must be full of chemicals including the dreaded DNA OF DEATH~! Kent is wearing pink heart red trunks because the animators were stupid enough to show his torso and ass above water. Kent panics and grabs his towel as Nigel offers to assist Donald in taking care of business and Kent hires him on the spot. Man; that was contrived and forced as we head outside as Daisy greets Nigel and offers to shake his hand on it while holding white pieces of paper. Then she's surprised to discover that Nigel is wearing the same outfit as Donald is. HEE HEE! Daisy then informs Nigel that since he's the key grip assistant; there will only be one camera man allowed by security which of course is Donald Duck. Nigel is pissed; and then catches himself admitting that Donald deserves the honor. So Donald and Daisy leave stage left as Nigel proclaims that he has to get rid of Donald Duck to get to the key. Of course he sezs it out loud. This is not the show of subtley I see; which is no surprise to me.
So we cut to the WITW RV as the nephews have finally arrived four minutes in to push the crappy button whenever possible. And Louie annoy me by bouncing an orange ball of the RV while Dewey does nothing. Huey runs in with a pack of cards which are based on famous and infamous criminals. Note the cover is Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective; thus continuing the cycle of life for Basil who did a decent amount of profit for the budget; but got swamped by The Little Mermaid a couple of years later. So they pull out three cards as Louie asks if this glorifies criminals. Isn't that supposed to be a Dewey...Oh wait; Toby, never mind. Huey asks what is his point and they shrug it out and notice that there is a card for the greatest thief in the world as the card features Nigel Nightshade as we see in the background Nigel setting up a lawn chair for Donald and then bailing stage right. The nephews claim that this cannot be just there to suck. I beg to differ guys as they walk in and want to talk to Donald as they motion to Donald for the whisper yell and then yell in his face that Nigel is a thief. God; these nephews test me so every episode that they are in. Donald blows it off on his ass as the nephews show him the card of Nigel which is a smart move; but the writers realize that if Donald was Donald this would end the episode 15 minutes too early; so Donald rips it up and proclaims that he knows a thief when he sees on. And then; the really low point of the episode: A big ass robber with stereotypical prisoner stripes; black mask and hat which makes him look like a lost Beagle Boy (voiced by Jack Angel) and it's clear that he's a thief. I'm guessing it's either Ed or Sam which doesn't matter because he claims that he is a valet and Donald gives him the keys without asking any questions. Ed/Sam rushes to the RV; gets in and drives away as the nephews have that "I told you so" smugness on their faces. UGGGGGHHHHHHHH! If this was Goofy; or Patrick Star, I would have forgiven it; but this is DONALD we are talking about here. And this is so obvious that it feels like we are getting the point that "Donald is gullible" before it even begins. This should have had Donald teasing the keys and then punching Ed in the face; or something along those lines and then turning around and saying "See?" That would make the whole thing suspenseful and make it less likely that Donald has Goofy's gullibility which he doesn't.
Come to think about it; this reminds me of A Spy In The Ointment; except Jack Cases did a kick ass job of fooling everyone except Baloo and it made it suspenseful in a "Is he a real spy?" and made me laugh at Baloo for being such a joke until the third act when the fishing worms showed up and then Baloo suddenly looks like the smartest guy in the room. That made the episode work; this doesn't as we are getting jackhammered with the point that Nigel is a thief and Donald is Goofy in duck form. Where have I seen this before? Oh yeah; the new Disney. So we see Nigel setting up the camera and tripod on the cliff pointing towards the Snooki. I cannot take this seriously; even if I tried and Jersey Shore is making it worse. Nigel thinks the shot is shoddy; so he suggests going to the top of that hill in the background to get a better shot despite being farther away than the previous shot. So Donald bails and puts the camera right at the edge of the cliff which looks so weak that it makes Donald look dumber than he does already. So we discover that an orange truck is driving away (with a neat shot of the camera shot being zoomed out much to Donald's dismay) which the fact that Donald should have noticed this because he had to CLIMB the cliff to get to the top. UGH! This only serves to create a funny gag as Donald smacks into the low bridge which tells us to duck. Oh lord; this is turning into Feats of Clay and I suspect that it's going to get worse. This is basically Donald taking the big ass bump off the front of a yellow mack truck (GOD!!) and then slingshot off a palm tree and then flies into the conveniently placed garbage boat packed with well animated sea gulls. And a fly as Donald's legs are wiggling and the sea gulls are trying to eat his webfeet as the garbage boat sails away into the sunset as I want to fire Robert Stanley right now.
So we head inside the RV and...wait a second? How did they get the RV back from that thief?! Daisy sees the taped up Nigel card and realizes that Nigel is a thief and the nephews are looking like the new Disney prototype every time; except a lot less likable than Kick Buttowski. Ponder that one for a moment. So Daisy wonders what to do as Nigel shows up and the nephews instantly blow him off because they claim that they cannot be bought. So Nigel gives them three tickets to the flying squirrel concert and they buy it hook, line and sinker and run out of the RV. Which is fine because the nephews are so gullible anyway as seen in Captain Donald. Daisy is not amused as Nigel proclaims that it's time to reveal the truth to a shocked Daisy as Nigel takes him mask off and we discover that he is NOT Nigel Nightshade but Agent LaFour; who is from Interpol. WHAT THE HELL?! See; he is here to capture Nigel in the act and is waiting for him while fooling everyone with his masterful disguise nes pas? Oh lord guys; we are not supposed to know that until the end of the episode. If you want to do this scene; have Daisy be in shock off-screen like you did and then switch to another scene; even if it involves the crappy nephews. At least then; you keep your trump card. Now this episode is completely lame duck. I should have done the Halloween episode first; because this episode is fading fast. At least his French accent is better than Maxwell Atoms' version in Fish Hooks. And then we exchange pleasure thoughts as LaFour walks out and Daisy is told not to tell anyone...and then I realize why they did this spot: LaFour goes outside and it's clear that Daisy knows it's Nigel under the mask (because she sezs his name after promising) and LaFour unmasks and it's Nigel again as he calls himself a great con man. Ummm; no you are not, Daisy is certainly NOT fooled. To be fair; this is a better spot than having LaFour appear so I'm not going to complain much here.
So we head onto the beach with the nephews as they walk back to the RV blowing off the Squirrel Jam as the oldest trick in the book. Riiiigggghhhhhtttttt. This nephews have no sense of history which is frightening to me for some reason. Anyhow; they inform Daisy about this scam and Daisy proclaims that everything is under control and fine as her contrived acting makes it clear that she's playing along because she already knows that it was Nigel under the LaFour mask because she winked and said his name. If they are going to make it as if Daisy is falling for it; don't show her winking and saying his name. Daisy leaves as the nephews proclaim that there is only one person left to tell and that is Kent Powers himself as Huey does a crappy mime job of him. And stealing Balloon Sacks' persona. So we return to the cliff as Nigel is still working the tripod and Donald walks in pissed off with trash and seagulls annoying him. HAHA! Apparently; the cliff in the background earlier was NOT the one stolen from a red truck; so no logic break there as Nigel wants a wider shot of the island as he sucks up to Donald like a fan girl sucking up to the Jonas Brothers. So Donald backs up with the camera as Nigel is giddy with every step. Donald backs up and walks on air like Wile E. Coyote as Nigel wants to him to take one more step and Donald stops just as the seagull returns to annoy him. HAHA! Okay; this was a neat screw job as the seagull gets in front of him and points down which is the signal for Donald to grow his neck about ten feet long and get WARNERED~!. Donald free falls and teases hitting the rocks; but hits the sand off-screen and takes the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON as the camera drops inside the snow angel spot; and then the waves "drown" him like in the title card. About damn time someone used the title card as a spot.
So we head to Kent Powers's boat as the nephews are inside Kent's personal quarters watching Kent Powers getting an extreme hair makeover by his professional barber who appears to be his butler too complete with butler gear and a slight porn mustache. The nephews want to talk about Donald's assistant, but Kent isn't interested and calls them Gooey, Screwy and Kablooey. HAHA! A good moment from Kent Powers? WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?! Oh yeah; every time the nephews are involved. My mistake as usual. The nephews show him Nigel's criminal card; and Kent blows it off because he thinks that Donald is a thief since he's leeching on his no frills operation. Which means "CEO" in Kent to English. Kent wants is message guy flown in at once and the nephews groan on cue. So we head outside as the Snooki is now a golden boat for no reason. We pan over as Kent screws up history as usual on camera and looks like a complete idiot in doing it. Nigel is on camera and performs a cut and print as he comes in and butters up Kent big time despite the fact that we know Kent sucks like crap. Kent then asks where is Donald and Nigel whisper yells that he doesn't want to criticize his bosses even if they are lazy and take six hour lunches as Kent is so outraged that he gets a headache. I'm shocked that doesn't happen when the nephews are around. Kent bails stage left as Nigel notices Donald Duck who is selling injuries with bandages, crutches and looks pissed off. Nigel gets evil and then runs in and puts Donald in a wheelchair and wheels him to the edge of the cliff acting like he is still his biggest fan which is really amusing; but there is no heel heat on him since Donald looks absolutely stupid now. He gives him a loaded menu of food and a glass of orange juice which cost less than the one drank by a member of the Conservative Party of Canada. Nigel bails to let himself do all the work and we zoom out to discover that Donald is on top of a missile silo which is clear that it didn't exist on the last shot. So we cut to a binocular shot of two soldiers who cannot believe that Donald is this stupid. I know why; ask Robert Stanley about it, he wrote this damn episode.
So then we have the missile silo open to reveal the big ass missile which the noise finally makes Donald stop for a second and then the missile fires into the sky as Donald screams like a seagull tortured by hot poker. Also known as "It's My Time". So we head to the beach with Kent Powers in pink heart red trunks putting on a girdle of some sort. Why?! Kent looks like a muscle head; with four pack abs; he doesn't need that stupid thing. He yells for Donald as he cannot tie his girdle on as Nigel runs in and helps him with the girdle. Nigel informs Kent that Donald will be back sometime this week and Kent is outraged so much that his girdle pops from his body and he's a fat ass. HAHA! Daisy runs in and blows him off just as Donald covered in ash and soot; goes beak first into the sand like a lawn dart in front of Kent. Kent then proclaims that he is fired which is silly because he didn't get a headache from being outraged. Daisy blows him off for just firing him and wants him to be considerate; but then realizes who she is talking to. So Kent declares Nigel the new cameraman who will be part of the filming of the key of Carpathia. Nigel gets a closeup face shot as he calls this a genius plan. Nah; it's because the writer is confusing Donald with Goofy which is a bad sign for future employment at Disney as we end the segment 12 minutes in. What a brutal first act this was and almost none of it was caused by the nephews.
After the commercial break; we see Donald groaning in sorrow as Daisy wants to cheer him up and decides to bail stage left which is stupid because Daisy already admitted to who she was talking to. Nigel comes in acting like he's heart broken; and Donald shakes off the soot and threatens to MURDER Nigel claiming that he caused his injuries. Nigel then does the end around by daring Donald to admit that Donald is not his hero and is not a good cameraman and Donald falls for it worse than Goofy taking too many blows to the head in Sports Goofy In Soccermania. Donald catches himself and Nigel butters him up because he's a hero and a good cameraman as they walk to the pink lawn chair and Nigel claims that he is not lying and Donald teases a blow off; and then calls it perfect sense. Yeap; Stanley thinks Donald and Goofy are the same character. Damn him! Donald lies down on the lawn chair as Nigel proclaims that if he's a good camera man; Kent Powers would be begging to re-employ Donald as he offhand proclaims that it's like taking candy from a baby. Oh why not? It's not like Donald is Donald anymore. So Nigel bails to find Kent as Donald dreams that Kent Powers is on his hands and knees begging for Donald to come back as a cameraman which without the context of the stupidity of Donald would make a funny spot; but there is context so it doesn't. Kent's begging is priceless by the way as the nephews ruin an already tainted scene by popping Donald out of his bubbly dream. Oh sod off you trio of disease ducks! Huey asks Donald what he is going to do about Kent Powers firing him and Donald responds to him like he should every time the nephews try to push the crappy button: Donald flops on his belly on the lawn chair and sleeps. HAHA! Huey then gets all evil on us as the nephews realize that he has a crappy Krackpotkin plan that is sleazy and underhanded. Which is Huey's normal function when he doesn't see a girl.
So Donald is sleeping and we segue to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as a shadow approaches Donald and Donald wakes up and is scared half back behind the lawn chair as we discover that it's the nephews in the human chain ladder spot covered in a brown monk cloak and wearing a fish in the hood. God damn do I want to strangle them now!! They just couldn't stay away from the crappy button and get directly involved in this episode can't they? And Dewey screws up by having the fish flop onto the ground which Huey grabs and Dewey replaces on head and then we go to the back shot as I discovered that the arms are made of tree branches and Louie is flashing a flashlight while having a boom box with sound effects which is like Wrecks, Lies and Videotape; only without Peg and Goofy to save it. Donald pops up and the Death Fishhead points to the KEYHOLE OF TOMORROW which is basically a propped up door and door frame under a spotlight. And yes folks; they do say "keyhole of tomorrow" which is awfully lame. Thunder flashes ensue as Donald crawls to the keyhole of lame and notices Nigel in formal gear as the Death Fishhead mocks Nigel; and calling him a blue skinned zombie as Louie is showing off pictures of the guy through the keyhole; which implies that he was the one who made Kent look that way earlier in the episode. Whatever. Death Fishhead then blames Donald for this mess. Wrong; I blame Robert Stanley for being confused as to who is Donald and who is Goofy. So they show pictures of Nigel stealing various stuff which is so unbelievable that it's not believable. I mean; seriously, all the worlds' weapons. So Huey goes through and yells through the megaphone to imply that the weapons killed off Quackeria 2; but Donald calls this easy come, easy go and flops back on the lawn chair and sleeps. HAHA! The nephews are stunned at that reaction.
So we get more thunder flashes as Donald wakes up again and Fishhead shows pictures and implies that Kent Powers stopped Nigel from his evil scheme and that he was made king of the world which Donald gasps in horror and then to top off this sequence; DFH implies that after he was crowned king; he forced Daisy to marry him and Donald faints dead away and Donald even remembers to stick his tongue out. HAHA! The nephews think this one worked and hope Donald isn't dead and up in time to do something to Nigel. So we scene change to on the beach as Donald is walking stage left with determination on his kisser, while the nephews follow from behind. So we head to the docks as Donald walks on the docks and we see a batch of police cars on the edge of the docks. There are two police officers as both of them look like deadpan talker with a bouncer type faces and as I discovered a minute later; that they are Ed and Sam (same voice). Ed and Sam explain that they caught the criminal who was stealing the key and the nephews slap skin and call out Nigel's name. So Ed tells the police car to "take her away" which clearly indicates that they didn't get Nigel and we see the police car slowly drive away and Daisy is in the backseat handcuffed. WHAT THE HELL? HOW?! Donald and the nephews are shocked and appalled as we end the segment nearly 16 and a half minutes in. Slightly less brutal than the first act; mostly due to some cute spots; but man this episode sucks!
After the commercial break; we see Daisy in a jail cell tugging on the bars pleading her innocence to Donald and the gang along with Ed and Sam. Ed and Sam deadpan us claiming that all criminals do this. That's true; except there is absolutely ZERO evidence that Daisy Duck stole or even aided in stealing for Nigel. Daisy was going to talk to Kent Powers and that clearly went nowhere. Oh lord; take me NOW!! Donald proclaims that this is all his fault; which Daisy grabs onto Donald's shirt and yells at him because she doesn't give a damn whose fault it is. I agree; this is all Robert Stanley's fault because nothing is making sense anymore. So the nephews find Nigel's trading card which has magically reformed as if it wasn't torn earlier in the episode; just for the animators to commit logic break. Judging by the animation style; it appears to be WD-Aussie, but I'm not going to confirm this. I'm sorry; but I don't have ED's like I did with previous DVD sets like TaleSpin (which I also have a few ED's from Disney Club UK for the episodes I don't have on DVD and someone helped me with the rest; but I lost the notes from my old Compaq computer when I was forced to switch to Northgate. Go figure.) and several other DTVA shows. So Donald notices the address on the back and walks out with the nephews because he has a Krackpotkin Plan. This better be a perfect plan because this episode damn well needs it now. Ed and Sam show how stupid DTVA authority figures are (I must say Wilbon and Kramer in Kick Buttowski at least had more smarts than the usual DTVA figures outside of TaleSpin and Gargoyles) by acting like total fools on not using those criminal cards. Even stupider: Not banning them for being a clear and present danger. Okay; not really. So we head to Nigel's living room as we finally see the PLOT DEVICE OF DOOM which looks like a big ass brass key which has a bland design. So the payoff for this was crappy too.
So Nigel goes into his grandstanding as the door flings open and it's Donald and nephews catching him "red handed" with the key....So Nigel unwraps it and it's a chocolate golden key. D'OH! Nigel blows them off proclaiming that he's not stupid enough to show the real key around as he pulls Louie's hat over his eyes which is a neat spot and pushes them out and blows them off. I got to admit; Nigel is cagey and I love him as a heel; but the writers really blew it because Donald was made to look so stupid beyond the pale. Again; this is exactly what happens when you have a jackass running the show. So Nigel slams the door proclaiming that without the key; they cannot prove anything. So why was Daisy arrested? And how was she set up? We still do not know and this episode isn't wanting to talk because we hear the nephews acting in a contrived matter that the key seems to be something that unlocks a chest on the Snooki which contains the treasure of Tralfamador (which Donald shows behind the wall of the house). Huh? Since when did this come into play? And if I'm Nigel; I'd call the police and have them arrested for trespassing. And maybe Donald for non-support too. So the nephews act in a contrived manner calling Nigel not the best thief in the world and Nigel gets all pissed off and proclaims that the treasure of Tralfamador will be his. Damn; I was hoping he would kidnap Santa and his reindeer too. So we head back to the Snooki as we see in the background Nigel rowing the boat to the conveniently placed ladder which leads to an opening in the boat? Huh? So Nigel climbs up and goes inside the hull of the ship as he sees the cheesy CHEST OF DEMON and then pulls out what appears to be the real key of Carpathia. Now the problem with this is: The chocolate key he showed looks NOTHING like THIS KEY! UGH! UGH! UGH! Way to make Donald look even dumber than dirt. This doesn't hurt the nephews in anyway; but it kills Donald's creditability. Come on; check the rubies and emeralds on that key; and it's smaller than the chocolate key. \
So Nigel opens up the CHEST OF DEMONS and out pops Donald and the nephews with their camera to catch him in the act. The nephews proclaim that they fell for Donald's plan. So they KNEW about the fake key? How?! Nigel proclaims that he only has one thing to do now: Act like a spoiled brat and bail stage right. The babyfaces follow as Nigel climbs down the ladder and rows the boat towards shore and rows on sand towards the road. Wait; didn't he dropped the Carpathia key? And why didn't anyone get said key? So the conveniently placed taxi arrives and Nigel gets in as we are now turning into a bad Warner Brothers episode as Nigel makes it to the big ass jet plane on the landing strip and hops in from the side door. The plane flies up into the clouds like a rocket as Nigel laughs inside the plane near the window seats thinking that he has won; but a smaller plane flies next to it and Donald is filming with the nephews. Wait; so who the hell is flying the smaller plane? I don't see anymore. Now I'm flustered! So we head to the side door as Nigel is wearing red parachuting gear and he free falls and parachutes. Donald and company free fall and parachute way too early to be safe; but nothing bad happens anyway. Nigel proclaims that he is fine with this pointless chase as we segue to the desert as we see some Western chasing because we need to HIT THE MONTAGE~! Nigel jumps off a cliff without his horse and we segue to another desert with an African chase through the desert on camels. Okay; that was a neat segue-way; I'll give them that much. The bouncing here is so terrible; I swear that they bounce like Rocket Robin Hood. Memo to Disney: Watch the animation of Riff-Raff Sam on camel. Take notes. It's not like you are using them as ordered by BS&P. And apparently; the nephews have disappeared. So we scene change to Nigel in the snowy forest snowboarding and then we finally see Robert Stanley lose his god given mind as we scene change to Nigel and Donald wearing caveman gear while riding through the jungle on dinosaurs. Look fellas; TaleSpin takes place in it's own world and thus Paradise Lost doesn't have to worry about logic breaks like this. Please let this episode end now! And we continue on in space as this is getting REALLY STUPID now. END THIS PLEASE! END THIS NOW!
So we segue to marathon running as Nigel wears a green tank top and shorts as Donald runs after him and on the next shot; we see Nigel return to normal clothes again. Ho hum. So we see the nephews rejoin as this goes on for a long ass time as they finally corner him in an alleyway telling Nigel to surrender; but Nigel sees the conveniently placed porthole and opens it; mocking the babyfaces and dives in. The babyfaces look in the sewer to notice Nigel has a conveniently placed red jet ski and Nigel zooms away and then makes the fatal error of the chase: Chooses the first ladder he sees and climbs up; and opens the porthole and proclaims that he is the greatest thief in the world. And anyone who has watched...oh...three episodes involving this realizes that this ends with the French police force grabbing Nigel because they are in one of the high security prisons in France. This is so contrived and forced because he only went about five miles tops and they are supposed to be in Florida. We see the babyfaces inside as the nephews proclaim that Nigel's no plan was in Donald's plan as Donald beams and we head back to the docks as Daisy has apparently been set free. We are in front of Kent's boat as Kent Power stammers like a guy who has been humbled as Donald has the video tape in his hands as the nephews point out that since Donald is fired; he could sell the tape of Nigel's guilt to another show. Wait; WHAT?! Isn't that "evidence"? So it shouldn't be in Donald's hands; it should be with Interpol. Daisy butters up Kent pointing out that if Donald sells the tape; Daisy will quit (although she doesn't imply that) and Kent will be fired and wonder aimlessly, penniless in the gutter. Kent combs his hair claiming that he can live with that because he has that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Daisy then points out that Kent will never be on television again. Kent's reaction is priceless and as he demands the tape; but Donald no sell and he'll only give it to him if Kent begs for it. Kent no sells at first and then gets down and begs for mercy. HAHA! Kent does a really decent job of this which is just a punchline for the entire episode isn't it?! Donald calls this sweet and circle fade out to mercifully end the episode at 21:14. Great job of killing Donald's creditability there Robert and thank god he didn't do another show after this because this episode is a course in what not to do: Bad writing, logic breaks out of the wazoo, stuff leading nowhere, no explanation for anything (How was Daisy arrested for starters?), and a pointless chase that was clearly made to pad the running time because the writer had no idea how to write a show properly. When Kent Powers is the second best character of the episode; that is a massive problem. This is a 1.0 CUCKOO or -* (-20%). And that is only because Nigel Nightshade was a good heel who couldn't buy heel heat.
THE REVIEW LINE
I went into this episode first because I found the Nigel conning Donald thing an interesting prospect and by the three minute mark; I realized that this was not good. For starters; they blew their load like Captain Donald by showing him as a heel right away. Number two; they made Donald look like Goofy in every way. The only thing missing was the "How To" Narrator (and that plot device is used in a future Quack Pack episode; mark my words). Number three: Daisy goes from talking to Kent and leaving Donald to deal with Nigel and this ends up with Daisy somehow in jail for no reason and there was zero evidence that Daisy did anything wrong. No explanation whatsoever. Number four; there were too many logic breaks and the acting was horrible. I have never seen so much wooden acting in any episode; and I have seen it when Ginny McSwain was not in charge of voice direction in earlier DTVA shows. Number Five: A lot of logic breaks including the chocolate key/real key spot that outraged me. And finally; a finish that took forever to setup and was so predictable that I saw coming before it happened. The chase was so mindless; it was basically Ernie VS Peter; only with no violence, blood nor heat. Yes; the fights with the chicken are mindless and go on for a long time; but at least there is intensity and heat in that blood feud. There is none here because Donald was rendered too stupid to work. With that said though; Nigel Nightshade was a good heel; but no one cared because the babyfaces were dumber than dirt and thus there was no heat nor reason for me to no nothing but cheer on Nigel. And Kent Powers also did well for himself with some cute spots on the nephews. And the animation for the most part was fine; with only a few blown spots, but nothing else was good and that outrages me because I came in thinking a decent episode and I left wondering why this went so wrong. Anyhow; the next episode is Ready! Aim! Duck! and hopefully the VR angle/Donald's story on foiling a robber is better because this episode makes me sad for Donald because one of the writers thought he and Goofy were the same character. So........
Thumbs way down in hell for this episode and I'll see you next time.