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Gator Aid
Reviewed: 02/03/2013
Wonder If It Likes To Eat Smug Ass Ducks?!
Well we got past Louie's focus episode and now we head to the more pleasurable Daisy focused episode as she is going to get her scoop no matter what it takes and this one involves alligators and their disappearance from a gator farm. Hey; I'm game for something that doesn't involve the nephews pushing the crappy button. So; let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Steve Roberts and story editing is done by Douglas Langdale. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation OZ.
Opening Moment #1: Today's title card features Donald being chased by a big ass alligator wearing goggles and a white scarf AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). HA! Best title card of the series and I doubt anything will top it. Although it's kind of silly since Daisy is supposed to be the focal character in this episode; but it's still cute.
So we begin this episode in the swamp as the What In The World RV is stuck in that muck you often seen on nature shows when they come to the swamps of Louisiana as Donald is pushing the RV with no luck and Daisy is blowing off her assignment with no luck either. Donald wants gas and Daisy gives him a lot of splattering mud. HAHA! Daisy is pissed off at the wheel because it was Kent "I am so vain Drake Mallard asks ME for beauty tips" Powers' idea. More mud splatters from the wheels and Daisy breaks the shift gear which I predict will magically reattach itself within a minute. The nephews tell her to cheer up which in any other universe would have earned a well deserved "shut the hell up" from Daisy as apparently there is a Waffles the Hippo. I thought Waffles was a cat from Goof Troop?! Daisy blows it off because Waffles was a jewel thief in a hippo suit and another reporter got the scoop before she did as Donald is getting swamped with more mud. HAHA! The nephews tell her to keep her eyes on the prize and never give up. If the nephews told me the sky was blue; I would look outside to make sure. The nephews talk about the folklore of monsters in the Bayou as Donald is using a big ass stick and big ass rock which magically appear out of nowhere. Daisy agrees and as I expected; the gear shift is magically reattached to the wheel as the RV flips into the air when Daisy drives it and Donald eats mud again. So the RV drives away as one of the nephews wonders if they missed someone and Donald is walking on mud as well as the RV is driving on mud. Yeah. So we head to a boardwalk with the creepiest sign I have ever seen called Cas Gator Ranch with an anthro alligator with a wheat plant in his teeth like a cigarette. Remember a time when a few background characters could smoke the real thing and not get censored on DVD; like Disney was supposed to do since they had an anti-smoking policy (Ducktales; I'm looking at YOU!). Anyhow; the RV stops near a shack and the nephews get out; saying their lame pop culture promos as Daisy slowly comes out and proclaims that she'll get the scoop if it's the last thing she ever does. That is a bad sign for her; I assure ye.
So the nephews notice a fat man wearing blue overalls and a hat with no shirt and does have sneakers; carrying a box of red soda pop and speaks in an obvious Southern accent. He addresses himself as Cal Crudhomme (Jim Cummings) which is probably BS&P'ed since it sounds more like Cal Craphomme. Cal shakes hands roughly with Daisy who gets dropped on her ass as a result as we see three alligators crawling around for no reason as there are nothing but gators around. So this is where the University of Florida sports teams train?! Good to know. Cal offers the red liquid bottles to everyone as the nephews wonder if there is a story being them. So we cut back to the boardwalk as Donald is walking on said boardwalk and he's panting like crazy and then face plants into a box of red bottles and somehow doesn't break a single one despite talking a good bump. How about it?! Donald looks and thinks it's soda pop which is always the signal for the flamethrower spot. Here's an easy clue: If someone from the Bayou offers you red liquid; it's not soda pop, it's liquid cayenne pepper which is just asking for the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS. Damn; I'm so good as Cal calls it Hot Cajan Sauce and Donald goes all DARKWING...DUCK on us and does a much better job with the oversell than Drake. BLAM! HEE HEE! Missed again Drake! YOU ARE NOT...POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Yeah; he coughs three times in midair; dives like a dying seagull and bounces into an open alligators mouth. Donald opens his eyes and panics like mad as he crawls around the shoreline with the gator trailing behind him as Dewey pushes on the not moving gator and realizes that they are soft plastic that somehow acts like a plush toy. Donald stops crawling and tests the gator to make sure that he is safe. HAHA! Dewey demands answers to this outrage and it's Cal's turn to oversell the sobbing and crying. Oh yeah; that doesn't incriminate you in anyway; no siree. It's so hideously hilarious that even DEWEY is stepping back as Daisy sees "headlines" and demands to know what happened to the real Cal Crudehomme (So it isn't Crudhomme? Damn...) and Cal proclaims that he is the real one.
So we waste time as Cal's selling has expired long past it's due date as Donald pops the gator from his mouth. Ahh; so they are inflatable; which means that these are Cal's girlfriends. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Donald then does the "PUT OUT THE DARKWING" spot complete with squeak sound. HAHA! Cal is just rambling on and on and even Daisy wants to know what the hell he is talking about. So Cal goes into dramatics because you see; the Colonel is missing which does the lame shock look from the babyfaces. You see; when the "colonel" vanished; the gators disappeared into the swamp for no real reason that I can think of. So yeah; another lame QP attempt to look like Scooby Doo, when DTVA cannot even do that properly without screwing it up. See 90% of Richard Merwin's work on Ducktales. Donald stomps on the inflatable gators for fun as Cal drops the name "Anne Troinett" which Daisy proclaims that she wants to speak to her which Cal proclaims that Donald is standing on him right now as Donald grabs the tail of Anne Troinett and she looks pissed. She grabs Donald by the ankles and he's upside down now. Anne then PUTS OUT THE DONALD which is even funnier than when it happens to Drake; only without the squeak sound to complete the funny Sidism. Donald is getting swamp stomped as the nephews cheer for Donald's death. There is no possible way that they are cheering for Donald to murder the gator. No way! Daisy doesn't care about a gator ranch; but sees a mystery in her eyes as Cal begs for mercy because he needs the PR and introduces us to a rat to sell his Cal Rat Ranch. It's clear from this that he is the one who made the gators disappear, it's SO obvious! Daisy bails to go vomit somewhere as Anne is spinning Donald around like a wrestler from the 1970's. And then a mud covered Donald gets used as a towel. HAHA! Anne pulls Donald to her face and then gets charmed by mud and Donald and we have the love hug sequence completed with hearts jackhammered background to force the point. Yeah; this NEVER happens in the classic DTVA period; it's ALWAYS the new Disney that does this crap. Pay no attention to the old farts behind the curtain.
The hearts bounce off the nephews as Louie thinks she likes Donald. NO?! REALLY?! Anne wants some kissy-kissy stuff and Donald hides and somehow manages to pop the heart of Anne as he pops into the air as the nephews calls this extreme and Donald takes a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen for fun; which leads to a fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on six and a half minutes in. We return into a house and it's suddenly B&W as Donald opens the door and yells honey I'm home and then Anne (wearing an apron which shows that even gators are in rigid gender roles. Damn.) squashes Donald flatter than Alexander the Grape. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! And you know this is a dream sequence because the heat machine is now on; set to "laughing gas". AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wonder if Anne is really Klebb (Juan F. Lara has her listed as Kath Soucie) because she actually speaks here while squeezing Donald good. HAHA! She calls for the kids and three kids run in and they have been Wuzzlified. Half gator, half duck. So one of them is called Mallator? I hope so. They hug Donald and Donald wakes back up in living color sleeping in a bed. Daisy opens the door and tells Donald that he got a nasty concussion on that last bump; in roundabout terms. Daisy claims that she has made a big discovery and wants Donald outside to show it to him. The best part about this: when we pan over to Donald's right hand, we see it rubbed by Anne/Klebb. HAHA! See; even anthro gators can have a soft side in their sinful hearts. Donald panics and jumps out of bed and runs outside as Klebb/Anne follows him. I hope that there is a payoff of marriage here because this is just dying to be used at this point; and then have it end with Daisy turning evil and trying to murder Klebb for making Donald look like a cheating future husband. So we head outside AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Daisy and the nephews notice a clue near the shoreline of the lake. Daisy points out the teeth marks on the plank of wood as we see in the foreground on the next shot; Donald trying to shoo Klebb away; backing up while Klebb is getting all kissy-kissy on him again. Yeah; I'm waffling again; so shoot me. And Donald wishes Klebb would just get shot right about now.
So we cut back to the closeup of the CLUE OF DOOM as Daisy claims that the teeth in the plank of wood is proof that Cal is genetically mutating his alligators with incredible strength. HEE HEE! The nephews no sell it which is funny considering that we have evidence #2 right in the background the whole time. Hint: She's the one chasing Donald and wanting to kiss him. Huey thinks the teeth marks are from an out of nowhere saw; which Daisy adds that they are mutants with the IQ of using a saw. HAHA! And somehow; that doesn't disprove her theory since Klebb is living proof of having the IQ to use a saw. After all; the gator is a "buzzsaw" when it comes to love. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Dewey claims in a smug way that they would never have come up with that. Which shows how uncreative those brats are doesn't it?! Daisy then picks up the out of nowhere paper with mud on it and thinks it's a secret code; which Huey points out that it's a map. HA! So what? That doesn't disprove Daisy's theory; it only serves to show you are a sexist twit Huey Duck. And yes; Donald is on top of an out of nowhere gate trying to avoid kissing Klebb. There is an X on the map to the northeast as shown on the closeup and Daisy deduces that the gators are there and Daisy proclaims that the gators are using their mutant brains to overthrow mankind. HAHA! You know why this is so funny? Because Klebb in her own way is only serving to prove Daisy's theory is sound. I mean; Klebb is doing a kick ass job of overthrowing Daisy's boyfriend. HAHA! Dewey thinks that she's taking this too far. Oh sod off Dewey! We all know why you are pointing this out now; because you are under contract to push the crappy button whenever possible and Steve Roberts simply won't let you at this point. So it's morning as we see on the shoreline, two boats with big ass fans on the back end of said boats as the nephews all skip over to the boats. Daisy is walking away as Cal comes up with a catfish and trying to sell a catfish ranch. Memo to Cal: If that isn't half cat/half fish; then I don't believe that is a catfish. Got it?! He throws the fish away as Donald is following; but keeps getting blocked by Klebb.
Donald is pissed; so he stomps on her head which misses by three feet (oh COME ON BS&P!!); but the power of suggestion tumbles her over the edge and she splashes into the swamp. So Donald tries to walk stage left; but Klebb blocks once again. The nephews hop on boat #2 as the babyfaces do an X promo using extreme, expressive, exceptional and finding an X. Whatever as Daisy and Donald hop onto boat #1 and both boats sail off while Klebb crawls into the water and swims after Donald of course because she wants to overthrow Donald's chances of getting the real girl of her dreams. It's too damn bad BS&P is an ass because if Donald was Daisy's boyfriend, you would think Daisy would be angry that Klebb is trying to cause alienation of affection with Donald here. I guess this was too sexist even for Disney. So we race the boats under the boardwalk with Klebb following behind as we scene change to deep in the Bayou swamp as we run the boats some more to waste time. Donald's too tall; so the grassy swamp plants hanging from the roots stick onto him and he gets pissed off mad as a result. His temper flares (duh) as he struggles with the swamp plants while Daisy tells him that they are onto a real story and should be more optimistic. Well; he he didn't have to deal with sticky swamp grass and mutant alligators who want to want to put an end to your future plans of marriage, then he would be more optimistic. Well; slightly more optimistic anyway. Donald then panics because Klebb is on his ass again; so he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and races the boat even faster; which causes the swamp waves to almost swamp the nephews overboard. Damn you BS&P; I wanted to yell "SMUGASSES OVERBOARD~!" and you ruined it for me! I hope you are proud of yourselves. So we head to the swamp version of the fork in the road; just because it's a DTVA homage to Scooby Doo; only I have stopped caring about it. So we have the nephews driving the boat and stopping as somehow they have lost track of the adults. Then we hear noises and the nephews look scared despite claiming that they are not afraid of swamps.
They turn around and a shadow appears from behind and the nephews panic on cue as we fade to black to turn Michael Eisner on for the second time nine and a half minutes in. Huh. So we return as we head to outside a prison cell in the middle of the swamp as the nephews are inside the cell and Louie is doing the time tested; old dig a hole with a spoon to escape routine that is always asking for trouble. Louie claims that he'll have them out in no time. Dewey is sitting down whining about being kidnapped by a bunch of mercenaries and then thrown in a stinking jail cell and wonders if it will get any worse. Huey then blows him off because every time someone proclaims that it cannot get any worse; it does get worse. So we cut to outside as Louie has dug up and pops out only to be surrounded by alligators. Off-screen fight ensues, we cut back to inside as Louie runs up as well as the alligators. So the nephews bail and get the clubs to beat down the alligators. How ironic that Louie is beating down an alligator after wanting to save animals in the last rant?! Then out comes the international objects to cover the hole which come out of nowhere and pretty much go the same place. It ends up with the nephews sitting on a purple sofa on top of the pile as Huey blows off Dewey again. Yeah; this got worse for THEM; but for US; this got better! Donald should invest in a couple of those gators and maybe this show will get better. So we cut back to Daisy and Donald as Donald has a stick and Daisy has the map as they have arrived on the X on the map. Donald asks how she knew and Daisy points out that it was an educated guess as we lower the closeup on the map to see a bunch of wooden hangers with one of them marked with a red X on the top of the door. And there is a cannon on the shoreline as Daisy wants to check the place out. And yes; everyone is wearing life jackets. So Donald gulps and we head inside the camp which contains a one room school with a flag and a sign that sezs "Keep Off The Grass". Okay. So we pan and zoom in; and then an awkward sky shot of Daisy and Donald using bushes in practicing the fine art of not being seen. Despite the fact that there is no one there.
They stop as two thug like humans with winter caps, fingerless gloves and shirts arrive proclaiming that the boss is almost ready to hatch "The big plan". Still not as funny as the Krackpotkin plan though. Thug #1 is wearing a purple shirt and has a long fat chin (Jim Cummings) while thug #2 is wearing a brown shirt with a purple winter cap. His chin is fat and shorter than #1 (believed to be voiced by Roger Rose) and he asks about Horst and Klebb. So the gator is really Anne?! So she's not the lead heel. Too bad; that would have lead to a funnier payoff. They walk in the path of the bushes and the bushes move in opposite directions right in clear view of the thugs; but the thugs do not notice at all and walk off because they need specialists to invoke "The Big Plan". They go out of sight as Daisy refers that "The Big Plan" are keywords. That sounds so PR-ish; it makes me wonder if Daisy is a secret viral marketer for "The Big Plan"? POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Okay; she's not. She calls for Donald and Donald is trying to sneak away stage right; but Daisy grabs him. I don't know why Donald wants to leave as Daisy is dragging him by the ass away because she wants to investigate. I don't know why Donald wants to flee; since Donald investigating with Daisy is a hell of a lot safer than dealing with Anne CrocoHoppo. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHOMP! OUCH! Ummmmm.... So we get a shot of a gray tank coming in and points the cannon well away from Daisy and Donald; but they still sell it as if they are about to be shot. HAHA! This actually ends the segment for real almost 11 and a half minutes in. Now this is my kind of episode so far...
After the commercial break; we get the third person shot of Donald Daisy's backs as the tank is now pointing directly at them this time. Well; you just knew they would break logic at some point. Donald and Daisy bail stage right as the tank doesn't move at all and then they are forced to stop because here comes the two thugs arguing over where the capital of Bolivia is. Thug #1 claims it's Les Pas; Thug #2 claims it's Sucre. A check of Wikipedia indicates that it's a winner for thug #2. La Paz is where the government sits because apparently; misdirection is a great way to confuse those who might want to overthrow the government. They argue as Daisy has a Krackpotkin plan and she grabs Donald and bails into an alleyway which didn't exist earlier to my knowledge. The thugs walk a bit and then the two return for no reason and Daisy comes out and Donald faints dead away. HAHA! Yeah; I don't get Daisy's plan either Donald. Daisy claims that they are Klebb and Horst which is stupid because neither of them speak German; nor are Nazis. Even the thugs are not buying this as they ask for the password and Daisy stammers. Then Daisy just blows off the thugs as rookies and grabs Donald and walks off. HA! The thugs are now stammering and they claim that they don't use passwords anymore despite asking for one thirty seconds ago. A good sign of a heel: Always deny. They want a code and Daisy asks for a zip code. The thugs nod their head and so Daisy makes some faces by pulling down her eyes and beak. HAHA! Bea is such a wuss in trying to look cool. The thugs call the facial exercises ingenious and so does Donald which indicates that they are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. So Daisy and Donald get grabbed and we head to the office building and head inside. We see a green skinned, short guy in military gear with a riding crop. Think a human version of Pug from 101 Dalmatians: The Series and you are almost there. He literally looks like a contemptible ghoul (unlike Pug who acts and is a contemptible ghoul) as he knows who they are. And then shows his IQ is less than eight because he addresses the ducks as Klebb and Horst.
This guy is the colonel by the way (Roger Rose) as he shakes Daisy's hand and praises her for a great job up north; while Donald hand gets murdered and he get blown off for doing a piss poor job down south. Oooookkkkaaayyyy; this guy is even creepier than I thought he would be. To him; Daisy/Klebb is just fine; but Donald/Horst has to take "The Test". Ooooooooooooo... Donald gulps and doesn't like this at all. So we head into the deep swamp AFTER HAPPY HOUR with a far shot of the adults as Donald isn't thrilled to be outside; but Daisy is giddy because they have gained the trust of the colonel. Donald complains because we have the most sadistic obstacle course in this series which involves bear traps and alligators among them. Daisy pushes Donald forward because Daisy claims that Donald is always taking risks just to get the big scoop. Doesn't Daisy realize that Colonel is sitting at a picnic table RIGHT where he can hear them?! Colonel blows off Donald again because this isn't a picnic; and then offers Daisy biscuits on a platter while sitting at a picnic table. HAHA! Donald is at the shoreline looking at the swinging bear trap and thug #1 kicks him in the ass and Donald goes flying. We cut back to Daisy and Colonel exchanging pleasure thoughts while holding the teapot. Daisy wants no tea sadly; as we see the background Donald bouncing around in the moonlight while traps get sprung off-screen. HAHA! Daisy wants to discuss to the Colonel about "The Big Plan" which sadly, Kath seems to forget that she's supposed to lay "The Big Plan" part thick as a cement block. UH OH! She's shooting again! Donald climbs up the ramp as there is a big ass trap on his back and ass and he plops onto the log and walks on them; only to meet the alligators as they tackle him down and I think Anne should crawl in at this point because they are killing the love of her life; if you know what I mean. WINK! WINK! NUDGE! NUDGE! Donald runs like Scooby Doo stage right as the Colonel admits that he wants to rule the world because he's compensating for his height. Yeah; this guy is getting more and more creepy now; and without the humor of Colonel Spigot; this doesn't make mocking him possible now.
Daisy wants to analyze "The Big Plan" as she still won't lay it thick; so the Colonel offers her cucumber sandwiches on a tray which look like guacamole stuffed between beard. Daisy gets offended and swipes the tray again demanding the details on the plan already! Geez Daisy; it's only cucumber sandwiches. Give him an orange juice break there madam. Colonel then notices Donald climbing out of the carnage as he tells Daisy that he'll explain the plan in the morning as he praises Donald for living through the test; but since the test was about neatness; he failed as Donald groans on cue and probably wants someone to kill him already. So Colonel throws him to Daisy and proclaims that Daisy must take care of the weak link and he brings out a really big ass sharp knife complete with brass knuckles and keys. Yeah; keys. He also points out that he got the keys after 100 rounds of ammo and Donald faints dead away again. Colonel gives the knife to Daisy and Daisy does the cut throat sign which signals that the Colonel wants her to kill Donald legit; but Colonel backs off and just wants her to throw Donald in the brig; giving her the keys side of the knife. Which makes him even creepier than I think the writers had intended here. So we head to the brig with the nephews sitting down and depressed while Louie is playing the harmonica like a lost soul. And the hole is magically covered up and most of the international objects are gone. Bad form there guys. So the cell door opens and Daisy's arm shows up carrying the big ass knife and the nephews gulp in horror. But then Daisy and Donald walk in and we have a bonding moment. Daisy teases wanting to get them out of here; but she still wants the scoop on the big plan and even points out that the nephews gave her the inspiration she needed. And now the nephews try to pin the blame on each other to my amusement as Colonel yells at Daisy from afar; so Daisy yells back and then closes the jail cell claiming that they are safe in there and she'll release them in the morning. Daisy walks off as Dewey looks out and slumps down as he asks for hands asking if they are doomed and everyone raises their hands. Dewey calls this a sweep in roundabout terms and that ends the segment almost 16 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to the Colonel's office as Daisy watches on from Colonel's desk as Colonel has a broom with no bristles on it. The Colonel is finally going to reveal THE BIG PLAN OF DOOM~! I know you all were waiting for this moment; weren't you? So on the desk there is a model of a gold repository somewhere in the middle of the Bayou. He then produces two wooden dolls dressed as police officers as he claims that there are only two guards present as he shoves them onto the desk and they fry in yellow electric sparks and burn to ashes; since the area's security is heavily automated. Colonel brings out the alligator puppet as Daisy guesses that the plan involves alligators because the natural world isn't picked up by the system and then Colonel blasts the place with his tank. Riiigggghhhhhttttttt... So humans are not considered "natural" in this world. FACKING BULLSHEET! What a dumb logic break that was?! Colonel is stunned to hear that and then is happy because Daisy's idea is even better and even Daisy wishes she kept her mouth shut. That is what you get for trying to reason with the unreasonable. Colonel opens a conveniently placed door to show an alligator in a door-to-door salesman costume complete with vacuum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
And now here comes the thugs with two human beings. One is a female wearing blue with gray pants and black boots; and looks like a German stereotype while the male wearing green with black boots. The male has a brown strip on the top of his head and looks like a soldier. How could the Colonel not notice that Daisy and Donald are not Klebb and Horst? Seriously; they are HUMANS! If you are going to make Colonel look like a creepy heel; make Klebb and Horst look similar to Daisy and Donald so that Colonel doesn't look like a complete idiot and this way; it makes Daisy and Donald look good. You didn't even try there Steve Roberts. Horst is wearing a glass eyepiece as they introduce themselves while Colonel gives Daisy the old stink eye. Daisy tries hard to salvage this by arguing that she is Klebb and this is so childish that it hurts me in the head somehow. And Daisy blows her cover claiming that she's Klebb; or her name isn't Daisy Duck. Daisy realizes that this is seriously screwed now as the thugs notice her right away as the news girl on television. Yeah; let's make Colonel look even dumber than he already is. HOW CAN ANYONE MAKE SUCH AN OBVIOUS MISTAKE?! KLEBB IS HUMAN! DAISY IS AN ANTHRO DUCK! HOW IT IS FREAKING POSSIBLE TO MAKE THAT KIND OF MISTAKE! Okay; I'm done being a lonely, angry, white fatass loser now. Thug #2 brings out the notepad and pencil and wants Daisy's autograph and the Colonel swipes it away. What a prick this Colonel fellow is?! I'm guessing that his dog is Lt. Pug. AHHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Colonel wants him to seize her now and we scene change to outside the gold repository as the gator are leading the charge while the tank is driving with the babyfaces in tow all tied up. Daisy gets into the overdramatics about being an idiot for wanting to get the big scoop. And who inspired her into this mess? If you said the "push the crappy button" nephews; you win the right to never work for DTVA. Be thankful for that. Selling your soul to an anthro mouse just isn't worth it anymore.
The males no sell as Daisy realizes that no one is disagreeing with her. Well; they are no selling because they were the ones who give you the idea to this whole thing and they don't want to admit their guilt because that would be admitting that you are better than them. Thank goodness the new Disney is above this nonsense. At this point; I am expecting anything and I wouldn't be shocked if Klebb and Horst turned on Colonel right now. So the gators crawl to the front as we head to the security control room as two human guards (what a shock; talk about lack of irony here?!) are looking on the monitor and they allow a swamp rat and the gators to pass complete with check marks; but a trio of lost tourists gets the red X sign and we cut to the side of the building as a laser beam comes out and shoots a yellow beam and fries the tourists to ashes and soot. Yawn. So we see the gator head inside the building being completely unmolested as they turn anthro and slap skin as we see leather straps on them which would not there when the check in was done. Another bad logic break. And yes; underneath their bellies are Horst, Klebb and the two thugs as Thug #1 calls this the most disgusting mode of travel ever and thug #2 claims that he should get a cab in New York. So we return to the security room as we get more passes and then the screen goes dead and we have a red "Code B". So the computer is going to lose his temper and cry like a sooky baby? That would actually be funny. So the idiot guard check the book and it sezs that two stupid, burly guys are sneaking up behind him and we see the thugs grabs the guards and toss them aside. So we head back to the tank where the babyfaces are on their feet after sitting down. Did I mention that they did a better job standing up then sitting down? And here comes Anne with a box of chocolates as Donald blows her off and wants nothing to do with her.
So Anne cries on cue and Dewey wants Anne to help and Donald no sells it all. Daisy then tells Anne that Donald will do anything she wants if they untie them. Donald does not like this at all as Anne bails and then returns wearing the bride gown of doom. HAHA! Now that's a great payoff and Donald can BE JEALOUS! Although I think Donald would rather suffer the wrath of Daisy then suffer the wrath of Anne. So Anne pulls Donald's chin up and then snaps the rope and chomps it with her mouth. Then we return to the security room as Horst and Klebb wonder if this security system will be hard since it is very complex. Klebb crawls underneath the computer as we see the wiring underneath the CPU and we cut back because apparently; showing her cut the wires and disarming the system is considered teaching children how to hack and that's bad. Sadly; this BS&P didn't work because children are smarter than the adults would like to admit. The computer tries to pass another gator; but it goes dead as Klebb returns and Horst cleans his eye piece because they are specialists. Sadly; they suck at being the master of disguises. So we motion to Colonel and Colonel proclaims that he has won and drives the tank away. And of course he's so dumb that he forgets to check on the babyfaces who are just standing there. Daisy proclaims that they must stop him; but Donald bails stage left. Or at least he tried to; and bumps into Anne with the flowers and the diamond ring. HAHA! She really did think through this payoff. Donald bails stage right as the tank blasts through the building. Daisy and the nephew try to follow; but the thugs show up and do the Gruffi pose which is enough for the babyfaces to back up. Wimps! So the nephews claim that they have this one covered and tell Daisy to bail while they run interference. Oh lord; here we go....Dammit! I was hoping for a "nephew free" episode as the nephews play the cafe routine on the thugs. I am not making this up. And naturally they fall for it because they are somehow stupider than the Colonel.
Needless to say; Daisy practices the fine art of not being seen and despite having a clear path to notice Daisy doing the twinkletoe spot and it sounds bad because the HB sound is not in effect here. Oh and Huey pours the CAJAN HOT SAUCE OF DEATH from the bottle into two wine glasses and without watching the rest of the scene I can predict exactly what happens here. Yeah; let the nephews push the crappy button; real smart Steve! Goodbye thumbs up episode, AGAIN! The nephews smugness is just overbearing even when they do little in the actual episode. So Donald runs in; as Anne is chasing him and Donald runs into the building; but gets MURDERED by the rod and trumps Ron Stoppable to infinity by doing the 450 clothesline oversell about five times before landing. We discover that it's Horst and Klebb doing it which makes no sense because they should have grabbed DAISY by now. Stupid logic is so stupid. So Anne notices Donald struggling to get free from the two Germans; who are not really German; and she leaps into the air which is at least 20 feet or more as the heels try to rack Donald Duck; but then they all get MURDERED by Anne who squashes them and is sitting on them. I see Anne comes from the Yenkara School of Defeating Heels. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Donald pops his head and thanks Anne, and Anne finally pays off the whole angle by kissing Donald on the back of the head allowing Donald to do the wobble spot with his head. HAHA! So we head inside as Daisy runs around and opens a door noticing that the tank is heading straight for her; so she closes the door and lets it pass. Daisy then follows as the tank finally makes it to the vault door just outside the hallway. Colonel adjusts his periscope to aim the tank cannon right at the vault door; but Daisy's face blocks it on cue sounding a really annoying alarm. Colonel foolishly opens the hatch because he is so stupid not to realize that this gives Daisy the opening she needs to defeat him. Colonel blows Daisy off for being out of line. Daisy proclaims that she is not a soldier; but something more dangerous: A TV journalist. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. That is just funny on SO MANY LEVELS.
So she stuffs Colonel in his shirt and ties the black tie on the top to blind him and probably to suffocate him. Which is probably impossible since Colonel might be a legit ghoul and not just acting like one. So Colonel drops into the tank and Daisy does the ass bounce on Colonel (I just had a cringe moment there) and he smacks into the driving controls and we have chaos as Daisy bumps into the levers on the back walls and we turn the turret and fire literally in every direction. Colonel Spigot would be proud of this; if it wasn't Daisy behind it. No one accused Spigot of being enlightened; that is for damn sure. So Daisy files her nails as Colonel pops from his shirt as the repository is completely destroyed; despite all the attempts to hide it. The sunset sky gives it clear away as Colonel channels the powers of Lt. Pug and Daisy dodges as he jumps into the conveniently placed porthole and Daisy seals it. We cut to Colonel inside the mouth of the cannon as Daisy pops from the top and declares the Colonel has been discharged as she fires the cannon and Colonel Pug is blown away into the wilderness and probably will die and be reborn as Lt. Pug in a year or two. Yeah. So we see the babyfaces with the tied up heels cringing on cue on the scene changer as Daisy drives the tank in. Daisy pops up and proclaims that they did it and they saved the gold repository. HAHA! Donald looks stunned as we zoom out to see that the whole thing is completely destroyed and the gold apparently doesn't exist. Geez; what a way to make Daisy look weak guys. Daisy shrugs her shoulders claiming that they saved some of it as a wall crumbles behind her and that ends the episode at 21:07. Well that was a really good episode that crumbled under the weight of bad logic and Colonel's ghoulish stupidity. Daisy was awesome and Donald's great along with Anne getting the payoff she so much deserves. So I cannot ask for much more except for some logic mending. *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; another near thumbs up episode denied due to bad logic breaks and booking. The first two acts were really awesome as we got a really excellent subplot that actually played into the finish; although it would have been funnier if the nephews just dressed up in those inflatable gator costumes instead of doing the out of nowhere cafe routine which did nothing. You can keep the hot sauce spot though. Anne was great and I enjoyed the Donald/Anne stuff the most because it was great, Donald was bumping like a madman and Anne got her big payoff which I enjoyed and became a hero in the process. Good for her. Daisy was also good until they made her look foolish with the closing zoom out shot of the episode because the gold repository was completely gone. Colonel was absolutely creepy which is effective as a heel; but he looked stupid throughout. The worst example was when the real Horst and Klebb showed up and they were clearly human. That was a really bad logic break because it implies that the Colonel is dumber than a box of hammers and his threat level decreases as a result making Daisy's victory even more hollow at the end. Horst and Klebb were one trick German stereotypes who did two spots and that was it. The last one was great because it ultimately set up the payoff for Anne; so they were useful. I found Daisy's act to be funnier than the writers intended to be because I had sympathy for Daisy simply because she got the idea of getting the scoop from the nephews who are notorious for giving out bad advice and of course it was clear that they were to blame when they refused to speak while Daisy goes into drama queen mode while being tied up and behind a tank. The thugs were fine for what they are and got more spots in than Horst and Klebb which was a surprise. Overall; this was a great episode marred by breaks in logic and some crappy booking. Next is IOU A UFO with Dewey being the focus character. So........
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you next time.