Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The web master has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the web master and no one else. The web master has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at mailto:gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
None Like It Hot
Reviewed: 02/24/2013
None Like It Cold Either.
More randomizing fun with Quack Pack as Louie has a focused episode on him as he wants to find his stolen comic book which leads to a madman wanting to destroy the sun. Okay; we are hitting the really silly plots now. So; let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Dean Stefan. The story editing is done by Gary Sperling. The animation studio is unknown.
Opening Moment #1: Today's title card features an angry baby in yellow pjs hanging from a rope looking like a crappy created sun with a sun wand over a purple curtain. He also has the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS which he screws up as well. Oh joy!
So we begin this episode at Donald's house as we cut to Donald's hammock and Donald skips in and plops into the hammock because it's his day off. We get a few ass shots and then he gets annoyed by the conveniently placed woodpecker. Donald shhs the woodpecker and the red headed woodpecker stops as Donald yawns and stretches himself. Then the woodpecker plays "screw Donald in the head" several times by pecking the tree off-screen. HAHA! Everytime Donald looks up; the woodpecker is acting like nothing had happened; but the smug look on it's face sezs that he's screwing Donald in the head. Whistling ensues and then it ends with Donald doing the Baloo twist out of the hammock landing with a wussy bump onto the grass. So Donald walks over to the wall and brings out the garden hose and turns it on. He squeezes the hose spout to prevent water from coming out and walks towards the tree. He lets go of the pressure; but only a few drops of water come out because there is holes in the tubing which cause water pillars to spill up. HAHA! Take one guess who is responsible for this and now Donald is PISSED! Chase ensues as Donald slips on the water and the tubing and falls flat on his face. HA! Woodpecker is in the tree as Donald gets raspberried for his troubles as Donald claims that he'll show that woodpecker as he climbs the tree. He gets tired about midway way; and then we see the woodpecker has flown onto the edge of the tree branch which we all know is the obvious setup for Donald to go to the edge and the woodpecker to fly to the start and peck the branch off allowing Donald to be WARNERED~ and take the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON! Woodpecker waves bye-bye to this goofball. HAHA! Sadly; logic breaks as Donald teleports to his hammock looking mad as hell as no one is going to spoil his day off. So Donald returns with a football helmet and two pillows which he stuffs in the helmet and puts it on. Donald plops into the hammock and nods off as the woodpecker lands on him and sleeps on the helmet. HAHA! This is a really good start to the episode; but sadly, the main plot has to start at some point so...
...we head to inside the nephews' attic bedroom as Dewey is on the computer while Huey is at the handle mirror looking like the vain loser that he is. Dewey calls his computer game intensely cool while Huey has shades on and his hair is done to look like a really crappy anime character's spiked hair. He didn't even try to make it have volume. Figures; knowing him. So his hair style gets crappyizied; and the computer monitor explodes as we see Louie play the violin; and does a much better job than Fanboy ever could. Not as impressive as Chum Chum playing it with Fanboy's nose though. Ponder that for a moment. So the nephews cover their ears and then we get the NOTES OF SCREAMING DEATH coming out of the violin which makes sunflowers scream within a 40 yard radius. I see we are already starting the Mickey Mouseworks animation style training a couple of years early. So we see the woodpecker wake up and fly away as the note take the POWER DRILL OF DEATH and drill a hole on Donald's helmet near the ear; and the notes enter and Donald screams and swipes at the notes; but no dice. Then we do an even better swirl hammock spot (Baloo would be proud of this moment) and Donald drops on his ass and then runs away as we do the infamous HB spot of running into the camera and then running back behind the house. Rinse, Lather, Repeat. Donald trips on the garden hose and face plants into the grass crumbling some dirt right into his beak. Wow; that's the first spot Louie has indirectly made good. And it took playing the violin in a crappy fashion to pull it off. As they say: Sometimes a little crap must fall. So we cut back to the nephews' room as the nephews slowly walk to Louie and steal the violin. Louie protests this outrage as Huey calls it an act of mercy. To whom? Certainly not the audience that is for sure. Dewey asks why he is interested in the violin and Louie proclaims that Mantis Boy plays it as we see a poster showing a grasshopper playing the violin on the head of a purple monster. So we get the "superhero by day, country music star by night" promo which is cute as Louie has a Mantis Boy watch. Did I mention that it cuts it's lame promo too?! Still makes more sense than the FFCC dancing alarm clocks.
So Louie proclaims that he needs to practice some more as Dewey is about to plug his ears again. Huey then remembers (with violin behind his back; so I don't trust him) that apparently; the latest issue of the Mantis Boy comic book comes out today. Dewey is praying which indicates that this is a lie as Louie buys it hook, line and sinker as he dives out of the bedroom proclaiming that this is the reflective hologram edition. As least Louie's acting is decent here; but the smug assery from Huey and Dewey clearly indicate that they are lying as they drop the violin in the conveniently placed CHEST OF DEMONS and lock it with the out of nowhere key which apparently has a circle lock to it despite the key looking more blocky. So we get the smugasses doing the "after you/no, after you" spot from My Fair Baloo; before Huey gets mad and Dewey decides to go down. So we head to the streets and around the street corner as the nephews stop and notice that Tiny's Comics is boarded up and Daisy is interviewing Tiny who looks like a hippie complete with the peace necklace and purple vest. Tiny (might be voiced by Gregg Berger) tells Daisy that someone stole the glass from his shop windows as everyone is confused. Daisy cuts a promo about two crime scenes unrelated with the exception of toothpicks at both crime scenes that smell like cheese. The nephews gulp because we all know that it was Monteray Jack who stole those glass windows. Daisy blows off Donald for having a day off as she takes the tripod and is about to leave when Tiny comes back. Apparently; Monty is also a Mantis Boy comic book reader because he stole the last issue of Mantis Boy which causes Louie to do a hyper oversell which is so perversely funny that I managed to laugh at it. Holding the hat really made it for me as the nephews help him up and tell him to relax because it's just a comic book. Louie breaks free and storms off stage left because he must nab the criminal behind this because this is what Mantis Boy would do. Huey proclaims that Mantis Boy might have eaten his young. WHAT THE HELL?! I think I figured out where Iron Mike Tyson got his "I'm going to eat your children" promo from. That's so dumb!
So Louie finds a manhole cover which is slowly ajar and proclaims that this is where the criminal went. He opens the manhole cover as the nephews question going after a dangerous thug. Louie doesn't care if he's a thug because he has HIS comic book. So Louie dives in and the nephews can only shrug as we head down into the deepest part of the sewers; which is so deep that it houses a lab. We then meet a fat ass man in a purple suit, black tie, orange shirt and gray skin with no hair. He also like to sniff terrible odors too. Come to think of it; he looks like a bigger version of Horton LeTrec; only he's not Horton. So Horton has been in only two episodes after all. Still more over than Moltoc as he addresses Culden (voiced by Squidward...ERR...I mean Roger Bumpass) who happens to be a mad doctor with gloves, a light green coat, green skin and purple lips who is reading Mantis Boy which he clearly stolen thus killing all the suspense right out of the starting gate. The Horton clone of doom steals the comic book and orders Culden to get back to work as Culden addresses him as Nocturno (might be voiced by David L. Lander; which Juan F. Lara had as David M. Lander) which is a neat booking name and it makes sense since during the exchange of notes; we discover that Nocturno hates light; most of all sunlight. Plus he hates surface dwellers too. Now the problem with this is; the lab isn't nearly dark enough for me to take his "I hate light" thing seriously. They should have went for the Mud Blup weakness of him only hating sunlight because it might kill him. That would make a lot more sense than hating all sources of light because logic on that is already broken with the lab and the bubbling black pot that Culden is walking to during this sequence. Did I mention that Noct is mistreating Culden and Culden cannot switch a light on? So Culden puts a large square of glass into the pot and stirs it to melt. Noct blows off Culden for back talk as he wants Culden to pour the melted glass into the mold which is conveniently placed in front of the pot as Culden tips the pot and hot melted glass pours into the mold. Notcurno cheers for victory as he will get his revenge on the surface dwellers by creating a big ass lens. Whatever Notco.
So we head back to Donald's house and then into Donald's bedroom as Donald is sleeping the day away while wearing a green shirt. Then we hear noises and Donald goes to the window and closes it. He hops into bed and we get noises from a garbage truck, a jackhammer and various other tools which makes Donald rip his pillow in two. I betcha Hulk Hogan cannot do that! Donald then gets bumped and the book shelf comes down and we have black and brown books tumbling onto him. This scene would have been funnier if they were black and blue books. Get it?! It's comedy. HA HA HA! I'm starting to write like DTVA. That's horrifying. Donald proclaims that this calls for some strategy as we cut back to inside the sewers as Dewey makes a comment on wearing shoes which is a cute moment to be sure as we see Louie finding a boarded barrier as he rips one of the loose boards free and proclaims that we have to see this. So we see an abandoned subway car. Remember Earth Quack from Ducktales and the mine cart sequence? Well; Louie calls this Mantis Boy's hand gilder as even the other nephews think this is lame. Join the club you idiots! So Louie hops into the subway car and plops in the front seat and gets keys poked in the ass complete with poke sound. Huey and Dewey mock him as Louie grabs the key and blows off the nephews because Mantis Boy is different from other superheroes. How exactly Louie?! So Louie turns the key into the starter and the subway gets power much to the shock of the others. So we see the subway car move as Louie is as giddy as a little boy flying in a plane in a pilot's lap. Kit knows that feeling all too well; only Kit Cloudkicker is much cooler than these three smugasses combined. Huey and Dewey hold each other wanting this train to stop; so Louie tries to push the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and it breaks. So we all know what happens next: Huey and Dewey scream runaway train and we race to kill time. The shots in this scene are pretty good though as Huey seems to be getting longer and thinner as the race goes on. Louie panics because they are about to hit a brick wall and everyone screams in that shot from the opening and that ends the segment 10 and a half minutes in. Seemed like 10 minutes; but felt more like five; as in five paragraphs! Just okay thus far...
After the commercial break; we head back to the train race of doom as the backgrounds get better outside and worse inside as we repeat the shot from the end of the first act as Dewey's eyes turn green because they finally head for the crappy brick wall as shown in the next shot; and then we cut to Nocto's lab as Nocto proclaims that the big ass magnifying glass is ready as we see it in full bloom as Culden ticks off another job well done. He also ticks off on the clipboard the rocket pack which we see hanging with the JAWS OF HALF LIFE; but they still need something big ass and we discover that the brick wall is one of the entrances blocked by Nocto as the subway car crashes through and flies into the air and then drops like a stone down right onto the floor of the lab; partially destroying it. Nocto loves this; until he see the nephews coming out. Louie is fine; Dewey has green whites in his eyes and Huey is pretty much an underage drunk at this point with candy cane like whites in his eyes. Nocto is not happy to see this at all as the nephews stop selling and we exchange nasty thoughts as Nocto asks if they have a problem with him living away from sunlight; and the nephews back off on that. Huey and Dewey want to back off from the sewers completely as they lie about liking them; but Louie then notices the Mantis Boy comic book and grabs it from Culden's back pocket; only to get it stolen back by Culden as we see the crappy reflective properties of the front cover. Huey grabs Louie and points out that he is the one who stole the glass windows as shown in one pile; rocket parts in the other pile and there is a stool (NOT THAT ONE!) of cheese ball with toothpicks on it. Dewey tries to point out that it was Nocto; so Nocto invokes eye contact violence which makes Dewey call him the best host ever and he eats a cheese ball for fun and seems to be ready to vomit. Culden wants Nocto to tell the story of their existence and normally this is a bad idea; but Nocto realizes that he has time to kill as per the writers' whim; so he decides to allow this. The nephews try to weasel their way out of this; but Culden blocks them from behind and grabs them.
He drops them on their asses as Nocto explains that it started with a school play called Summer Fun In The Sun. And we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! So we head to a theater with palm tree trim as we see various kids in beach gear on stage setting up beach stuff on the stage. We see the African American teacher back stage (wearing a lot of purple) as Nocto calls them sun worshipers. Two things: Nocto clearly has a beef with other religions other than his own; or at least he's implying it with his insulting words; and I don't get why he doesn't just say "sun god worshipers" since BS&P allowed god many times six years ago. Another sign of the times I guess as we look up to see the same child as in the title card who we discover is Nocto; and Nocto gets interrupted by a giddy Culden which earns him the stink eye. Nocto complains about the sun since he gets burned and never tanned as we return to the flashback as he twirls around and everyone laughs at him for no reason whatsoever. Wow; what a way to bully someone there guys. Child Nocto struggles and his sun wand is too sharp as it cuts the ropes and he splashes down into the out of nowhere inflatable pool; because god forbid that an eight year old takes a bump onto the wooden stage like the old nephews could do in Ducktales. I club BS&P! The humans all laugh at him some more and I'm not because the joke isn't funny anymore and they ruined it by laughing at him as the sun which is the most important device in the entire play. Idiots! So we return to reality (no, not really) as Nocto swore that he'll never go out in the sun again and swears revenge on the sun god worshipers for laughing at him because he chose to be the sun. Or something. The nephews call this a happy ending as Culden brings in a flash light and model rocket with a giant lens on it while Nocto brings in a globe with a flexible arm to grip the rocket. So Culden puts the rocket on as he uses the flashlight on the lens and the globes turns bright orange and burns. Nocto grabs the globe and proclaims that he'll give them all the sunlight they want since they worship the sun so much. Sadly; Nocto's hands have no water on them like Drake's and he drops the globe and oversells burning pain. Global hot potato ensues. HAHA!
So Louie asks Culden about trading something for the Mantis Boy comic book; but Huey grabs him and they try to leave stage left towards the stairs. However; Nocto blocks that exit and proclaims that they know too much so he's keeping them in the dark as he throws...THE SWITCH!! It goes pitch black and then we see a flashlight light as Culden is reading the comic book with the flashlight. HAHA! And good for the animators to use mature lighting here. Nocto gives him the stink eye and we turn off the flashlight. We go to black and then return to a far shot of Donald's house as there is a worker on the street using the jackhammer right on the yellow line. HA! So we head into Donald's bedroom as Donald flops on his bed feeling great because he has barricaded the entire room with dozens and dozens of mattresses. How many tags did he have to rip off before getting someone to give him said mattresses? There's a question that needs an answer; much like watching Ninja Lumberjacks. So we get no noise and then we hear dripping water as we get a zoom in shot of the bathroom and then a cut to a leaky sink. Then we cut to an alarm clock ticking, and then more sounds as a fly goes on Donald's nose. Donald panics and screams so much that he runs about three laps up the ceiling and on the walls for fun. HAHA! So we get the clock scene changer of doom (Someone was watching the Wuzzles again I see) as we see the nephews in a bath tub with purple laser like ion beams according to Nocto (which are 100 million times more powerful than the average laser). Huey panics because they are trapped like sewer rats. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So Nocto leaves to inspect the rocket as Culden plops down on the ground and reads Mantis Boy again. So we hear Mantis Boy's voice again as Louie produces that watch of doom and Culden is in awe of this plastic watch as Huey proclaims that he can have it if they lower the beams. So Culden goes to the wired control panel with the red button of doom on it; but then he gets a moment of realizing that Nocto will hate him for doing this. Ummm; Nocto already doesn't like you period, so I doubt this is going to be any worse in terms of trust and friendship.
So Huey proclaims that the antenna glows in the dark; so Culden pushes the red button and the beams are lowered. The nephews all plop out as Huey wants Louie to give the nice man his Mantis Boys' watch. Louie teases giving Culden the watch; but then he puts it to his heart and proclaims that he cannot do it because it's Mantis Boy. The other nephews get flustered as Culden is pissed off and calls for Nocto as he was pouring purple liquid into a test tube. So the nephews all bail stage right as Louie grabs the comic book and somehow; despite delaying himself for a few seconds to grab this comic book; he still manages to outrun Huey and Dewey to the entrance. So Nocto goes over to the control panel and pushes the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that brings down the purple ion beams which deny Huey and Dewey the chance to escape. They yell at Louie to run and get help right now and Louie runs off. So then the JAWS OF HALF LIFE on a pulley comes down and scoops up the nephews as Nocto dares them to guess where they are going and Dewey wonders where. So Nocto uncovers the white sheet which comes out of nowhere and there is the rocket attached to the train on a train track which appears to show that Nocto played Sonic The Hedgehog at some point in his miserable life. The nephews panic as the JAWS OF HALF LIFE swing closer to the train rocket as Nocto proclaims that they are going to see the sun up close and personal. Well; that seems to be such a waste of life for that do you not think Nocto? The animation perspectives are pretty decent and that ends the segment almost 17 minutes in. Again; we are only about five minutes away from the end; and this feels like 9 minutes; or more to the point; nine paragraphs. Okay I guess.
After the commercial break; we see Louie running through the sewers and then he's lost and tired as he sits down near a brick wall. He takes the comic book and pleads for the real Mantis Boy to help. And then a ghost version of Mantis Boy arrives playing his violin as he orders Louie to return to the lab and save his brothers. Louie wants to get them together; but Mantis Boy insists that he must do it alone because Mantis Boy is a figment of his imagination and Mantis Boy disappear. Well; that was some good help there wasn't it?! So Louie decides to walk back in the sewers; but he then notices a flashlight and hides hugging the wall. The flashlight comes closer and Louie looks to his left and it's...Daisy using her camera's light grip. Louie runs away as Daisy calls for him and Louie stops and turns around. So Louie and Daisy exchange notes on the situation as Daisy states that the thief had a toothpick at the manhole cover so he might have a secret underground hideout. Louie proclaims in a panic state that he does, he has Huey and Dewey and he is building a rocket to use to sizzle the earth to a crisp. Daisy responds asking Louie if he found this all out with one toothpick. HAHA! We then circle fade out (proving that even Michael Eisner needs a new turn on) almost eighteen minutes in. We return as we get a lot of mad scientist B-movie spots to kill off more time as we pan down to floor level as Nocto sings a song and dances. We pan west to one of the barrier entrances as Daisy tries to point the camera; but the camera is hit by the purple beams and Daisy is forced to drop the camera and it melts into a steamy ball of black goo. Louie pretty much claims that those beams are lethal as Louie brings out the comic book and he'll do the deed. So he takes the comic book and it hits the reflective hologram image of the front cover and it appeared to hit the control panel in the front of the lab where Nocto was; but it actually hit the conveniently placed control panel and it melts with yellow cheese. Sigh; another logic break in this series; I feel like channeling Daisy when she is shooting. Louie pumps his fist as the beams come down and they run in.
So we cut to the rocket train as we see Huey and Dewey inside tied up with one big strand of rope and they cannot get free at all; screaming that they are too young to fry. Well; that is somehow more cringe worthy than saying die I guess. Not to mention that Huey in Ducktales could bust through this rope with ease. Even with their hands tied behind their back. So Culden opens the side door as the nephews think he's going to let them go; but Culden buckles them up for safety. HAHA! This is actually one case where BS&P RULEZ actually helps because this actually binds them even more and the chances of busting through went down even further. Dewey does his usual sarcastic tone to cover up the fact that was screaming 15 seconds earlier. So Culden turns around as we discover that he was on a ladder and he is shocked and horrified because someone ripped up pages of Mantis Boy. He picks up the pages and yells at whomever did this disgusting form of censorship as Louie pops up and dangles the Mantis Boy watch asking if he wants it. Culden pleas for him not to kill the watch; so Louie proclaims that it's all his and throws it stage left. Culden does a leap of faith and grabs it; but falls into the bath tub and magically the purple ion beams switch on as Culden is trapped. Louie loves it; but Culden thinks Nocto will be pissed. Ummm; he's already mad at you for existing; so I wouldn't worry all that much. So we see Nocto fiddling with the console controls on the super computer as Daisy steps in and calls him out on that. She demands that he release the kids right now and Nocto no sells her. So Daisy brings out the flashlight and shines it on Nocto which causes Nocto to fall onto his side and beg for mercy. What a wimp?! Daisy demands he stop the rocket; but the CPU voice proclaims that they have 15 seconds to launch as Nocto proclaims that there is no point of return as we get a convoluted sequence of an orange beam firing off some light bulbs; which opens a box contain a hand with a match which is struck and it lights the fuse. None of this is cut out by Toon Disney by the way as the rocket get lit and it flies right through the sewer pipe...
...so we head topside as we get buildings swaying, rumbling, broken streets, people flying everywhere, debris flying everywhere and the rocket bursts through the street and into the sky. So we see Nocto dancing around happy on the ground and then the debris somehow falls on top of him despite no indication that there was any damage whatsoever. Nocto is stuck in a rock tomb with only his upper body shown as Daisy just cannot believe that the nephews are dead. However; we then pan over to see the trio is safe and sound. Yeah; they somehow teleport from the rocket to the floor without any indication that Louie went to save the nephews. Daisy is happy as the bad guy is caught and everyone is safe. However; Nocto blows them off because the rocket is in space and positioning itself right in front of the sun as it bring out the magic lens and reflects the beam right at earth as there is no indication that the earth is getting any hotter; other than a big ass thermometer propped against the wall of a big building blowing it's top. And kudos to the animators for keeping the red spray as if it would blood. So we head down as Nocto is so happy because it will be sizzling hot now. Louie proclaims that it's all over and they are finished. Huey and Dewey beg to differ because they repeat Mantis Boy's lame promo. So we see the nephews outside (indicating that this plan of Nocto's has no heat at all) as they set up a bunch of giant ass speakers which are connected to Louie's violin. So Louie buys his violins from the same guy who gave Goofy his ukelele. Why doesn't this surprise me; that this finish is incredibly stupid and contrived?!
Anyhow; we get notes coming out of the bronze dish (which never melts by the way) as it plays red notes which cause a red hammer to come out and break the glass; and what little heat was left in Nocto's heeldom is gone. So the nephews take off their red earmuffs and ask Louie to stop; but he doesn't bother because he's stupid and he has no hearing. He's also a smugass. Huey yells at Louie which causes his face and eyes to go bonkers for no reason. Before that can go anywhere; we return to Donald's room as he has the fly swatter in his hands as he has tied knots in the pipes of the sink; destroyed the alarm clock and used an ax to grind something else on some drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!). We see Donald sleeping in his bed with the fly swatter in his hands as we go to the red mattress near the floor as a saw cuts through creating a hole. The notes of pain and suffering come in and annoy Donald like a pack of flies as Donald screams and frail around like crazy as he somehow manages to get out of the house while the notes follow him as he yells and screams some more on the front lawn like an old fart to end the episode at 21:09. An okay episode with a really stupid finish that made no sense other than to get a plot device involved that made no sense to begin with. This was dull, boring and Nocto had no heat as a heel and his invention sucked in the end. Call it ** 1/4 (45%).
THE REVIEW LINE
There is not much to say here. The opening was good, the middle was fine for the most part as nothing in this offended me in anyway. Nocturne was basically a sucky heel with a sucky invention and Culden was just there to be comedy relief that wasn't much relief. Other than a really stupid finish that broke logic and reason (although the violin was already there; so it wasn't much to break); it was mostly a B-movie mad science flick reduced to 22 minutes. Seriously; this episode went by really fast, mostly do to a subway sequence that was just there to kill time and most of the banter was just there to kill there including the flashback sequence that had no heat and only served to show how much bullying Nocto's peers did to him. The purple ion beams were more threatening than the main villain weapon if you can believe it because the invention really didn't do anything to show the world being in any more peril than it already was in 1996. Overall; this episode was boring, dull and heatless. I have seen a number of episodes worse than this and a handful of episodes better than this on this show; so it's just all right. Nothing much to see here either. Only seven more episodes to go and it's all over. So........
Thumbs barely down for this episode and I'll see you next time.