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Hero Today, Don Tomorrow
Reviewed: 03/17/2013
Just Like Real Life Actually...
..and that's if you get lucky. Yes folks; this is the final episode left to do in Quack Pack. It's been one of those whiplash rides to say the least and this episode is one of those for Donald Duck as well. See; Donald is no longer the nephews' hero (when has the nephews ever honestly considered Donald to be their hero?) because some guy who does crazy stunts is a better hero to them. So; let's rant on and find out shall we...?!
This episode is written by Marion Wells, John Behnke, Rob Humphrey, & Jim Peterson. The story editing is done by Kevin Campbell. The animation studio is unknown.
Opening Moment #1: Today's title card features a duck like steel helmet (with glowing red eyes) attached to a pair of keys against a bubble background. Okay; someone needs to inspect those keys, they appear to be cursed.
So we begin this episode with a zoom in shot of a star like podium with red smoke and yellow spotlights which have a thicker outline than they should have. As if they didn't erase the outside lines beforehand. The narrator does the monolog as this guy is made of silicon and is more than man nor machine. So he's a metal god or something? We see the robot of doom rise up who is mostly blue in color and has a duck like mask which makes him appear to be the robotic version of the Mighty Ducks mascot. And he talks like the Terminator as we see the nephews on the couch watching like the smugass zombie television viewers that they are. The announcer proclaims that he is loved by everyone and then the television gets turned off. HAHA! This announcer is a lying fraud because Donald certainly hates this guy. I know this because he sezs "Ah, Phooey" when he turns off the television. Donald proclaims that he despises Flint Steele and Huey proclaims in their smugass complex speaking that Donald is suffering from old fart syndrome. See; Donald cannot compete with someone with the talents of Flint Steele; because he's got it all. Well; the nephews cannot even compare to Donald; so they are overcompensating for their own lack of talent. In other words; mass psychological projection, which is perfectly normals in these Quack Pack nephews. And yes; he has lawyers and talking key chains which they bring out as Flint cuts three really lame promos. Whatever guys. Louie proclaims that Steele has his own cereal as he crunches and it is as hard as steel as Louie nearly breaks his jaw in the process. HA! Louie is led away as Huey cuts a promo on Donald and turns on the television. He rushes back to the couch with the other nephews as we watch more mindless television as the announcer brings out the first challenger which is called Gunther Hasenhoffer; who is in a gray robotic suit and has red shades and a face only I could love. No, not really. The announcer ask if he will be the first to go through the Gauntlet of Peril and the nephews act like zombies and say no. Mindless television indeed! So they both fire their rocket boots and we have the start light count down to green. Flint Steele fires away and leaves Gunther in a trail of ash and soot. HA!
So Gunther tries to follow; but the television is turned off again as Donald appears wearing ice hockey stuff. HAHA! He pleads for mercy (mercy? In this show?) as we find out that the nephews promised to play hockey with him. Huey proclaims that they did promise; but they find it easier to watch hockey then play it and they shove Donald into the couch with a MAN-SIZED bump and then sit three inches away from the television and turn it on. Donald's pose is awesome as he somehow gets the hockey stick inside his shirt sleeves on both arms. HAHA! And yes; Flint Steele is in the lead in case anyone cares anymore about him. Donald is angry as he gets on his skates and he gets pissed off at his hockey stick and we do the whirlwind spot and take a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen again because watching the nephews watch television is safer. So we cut back to Donald as he got the stick out of his shirt sleeves; but now it has migrated into his pant legs. HAHA! So Donald pounds the floor with his fist and does another whirlwind spot as he manages to undress himself completely with just the purple boxers with hearts on them. HAHA! Well; that's one way to get out of this as Donald blushes. Again; a duck with no pants on is not going to make that spot work guys. Donald bails and then returns to see Donald back in his hockey gear proclaiming that this needs some Krackpotkin planning and we cut back to the nephews as Donald comically oversells whining as he invokes the REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY OF DOOM on the nephews and the nephews are instantly on it. People wonder why I hate the nephews? Them acting like smug asses while doing Gruffi pose because Donald is trying to get over with lip quiver number five. Donald looks like he's ready to cry; and the nephews turn their back on him and so Donald sobs off-screen. Which leads to the segue to a hockey arena as the nephews are on the rink with skates and helmets on. Huey admits that it worked and they can sue him. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Works every time and I do mean _every time_! Donald skates around the rink humming a tune just to make it more complete.
So Donald skates over to the hockey net and tells them to take their best shot at him and the nephews casually skate to center ice and Louie shoots the punk and all three pucks go into the net at once. Donald looks in the net; and then looks at the nephews who continue to look like smugasses. Wow; it's true that if you look like a smugass; you stay as one. So Donald asks for more and we get more hockey pucks as Donald tries to block any of them; but they still go into the net. If the nephews are so keen in hating Donald; then they should knock a puck into his beak mouth; but I doubt BS&P will allow that anymore. Now to be fair to the nephews; this is the hockey short where Donald cheats on the nephews to try to win; but fails every time. Donald isn't even cheating to win; and he's failing. So Donald bails and returns with the big ass wooden dummy goaltender of doom and shoves it in front of the net. The dummy is so big; nothing can get through now. CHEAT TO WIN! Donald gets on the dummy and calls them out to bring their best shot out. He climbs into the wooden dummy and Huey invokes the machine gun hockey puck feeder of doom and apparently Donald's wooden dummy is inflatable. So that was DONALD'S car in Nosey Neighbors?! That's really stupid. So we continue the burial of Donald before our very eyes as Louie does the midair vertical puck stack of doom and Donald gets pelted with pucks so much that he flies to the back of net which has stretched into a fish net. The nephews mock Donald like a bunch of smug asses and then Daisy shows up to inform them that Flint Steele is doing a show as Donald springs back somehow and is trapped between the top crossbar and the mountain of pucks. Okay; that was different as the nephews skate off the ice and Donald protests this outrage as Daisy manages to walk on the ice with no skates on (logic break!), and informs Donald that she handling camera duties because it's Donald's day off. She does the worst kiss ever as the animator missed it by about five inches. Donald no sells it though as Daisy walks off.
Donald gets all piss and vinegar and screams and throws everything including his temper. Sadly; he tries to skate off; but the net catches in his skate and he doesn't even bother to take the skate off; so he pulls on the net with anger and fury. The net frame pops off the ice and flies over Donald's head allowing Donald to fly out of the doors of the Hockey-Rama and the net manages to attach itself to Daisy's RV. So then Daisy drives away into the streets of Duckberg as Donald is forced to skate on the street behind her. We head to the freeway as Donald dodges an orange car on the turnoff and then more dodging brown cars. The FPS shot looked like cardboard as we cut to Daisy driving as Louie asks her about something dragging from behind. Daisy laughs it off and proclaims that this needs to get the muffler fixed. Somehow; I cannot say muffler without thinking about the John Nord shoot interview last seen in one of the later Botchamanias. So we scene change towards the airport as we drive in and Donald is still surfing on ice skates. HAHA! Donald yells for them to stop; but no dice. So we do another right hand turn and Donald manages to grab the conveniently placed lamp pole with his hands and the net finally pops off and flies stage left taking Donald with him as he takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the top of the steel hanger and we see the result as Donald blows this off and then slides down the hanger and takes another bump off-screen. So we see Daisy run out and set up the camera acting all giddy as the nephews join in. Daisy states that Flint always avoids the press. Geez; I wonder why? We see a long white jet with some red streaks on it as the side door opens and out comes a tall, big black man walking down the tarmac stairs. Dewey offers to shake his hand as Flint cuts a lame promo and tries to do the deed. And then the entire press mob of humans run in and run Daisy over. She looks hurt on the far shot; but on the closeup; there are no marks on her; although her hand is almost to her back ala Family Guy. Daisy sezs goodbye to the Emmy (like this show deserved one in the first place) as Flint panics and runs over Dewey, knocking him on his ass. HAHA! And if I forgot about the voice of Flint Steele already, well...
Flint Steele is voiced by James Avery and according to the USIMDB: Although best known as the uncle/patriarch and judge "Philip Banks" on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" (1990), James Avery is a classically trained actor and scholar. A native of Atlantic City, New Jersey, USA, he joined the US Navy after graduating high school and served in Vietnam from 1968 to 1969. Upon leaving the military, he moved to San Diego, California and began writing TV scripts and poetry for PBS. He won an Emmy for production during his tenure there and deservedly won a scholarship to the University of California at San Diego from which he earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Drama and Literature. (Sidenote: His wife Barbara is the Dean of Student Life at California's Loyola Marymount University.) In addition to his sitcom popularity, he has lent his voice to over a dozen animated television series and features. He also has been the primary host of the popular PBS travel and adventure series "Going Places" (1997). Armed with a diverse resume of credits, James Avery remains a unique creative force as convincing a comedian as he is a Shakespearean character. He also provided the voice of Shredder in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles television series, as well as War Machine in the animated series Iron Man and Junkyard Dog in Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling. He also played Michael Kelso's commanding officer at the police academy late in the series run of the popular sitcom That '70s Show. He also performed in the single season production of Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys as "Gor-illa" a loveable, simple, and bi-polar gorilla. He has been the primary host of Going Places, a popular travel and adventure series on PBS. He also guest starred in That '70s Show as Officer Kennedy. In 2000, he guest starred in the "Unfriendly Skies" episode of CSI as Preston Cash, a legally-blind witness to a murder who assists the CSI team with a near-flawless verbal account of what he heard on board the flight.
Avery recently played a Los Angeles County Medical Examiner, Dr. Crippen (who has recently appeared in a wheelchair), on the TNT series The Closer. In 2004, he guest starred on the television series That's So Raven where he played an entrepreneur. He also appeared in a 2005 episode of My Wife and Kids as Jay's reluctant professor. He was cast in the new sitcom Sherri, starring Sherri Shepherd, playing her father.Most recently, Avery wrapped production on Valediction, which could begin its film festival circuit as early as October 2011. He plays the role of Edward, the husband of co-star Bonnie Bartlett. In addition, James recently starred in a 2012 role on the TV series Grey's Anatomy. He played a distraught spouse to his brain-dead partner who was a patient. He started on The Blues Brothers and The Stunt Man in 1980; both uncredited. Aladdin as Haroud Hazi Bin is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in Gargoyles as a shaman, Pepper Ann as Mr. Clapper, The Legend of Tarzan as Keewazi and The Proud Family as Crandall Smythe. Call Me Crazy: A Five Film as Dr. Beckett is his most recent credit. He has 167 acting credits, 31 self credits and one producer credit (The Guerrero Project in 2004) to his resume. So Flint runs to the limo as he has a bouncer like lackey opening the left door in the back of the limo. Flint and the lackey hop in and drive off before the press can do any more damage to this integrity. Namely; allowing Flint to shake Dewey's hand. The press stop chasing him and they sulk in stereo. HAHA! Dewey staggers a bit and then looks at his shirt and realizes that Flint Steele stepped on him as his shoe print is now on Dewey's shirt. So the press hears Dewey and runs to Dewey with microphone in hand wanting answers because apparently unintentional physical assault on a child is a story. Pffftttt. Donald finally comes in and blows this all off as phooey. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
Donald does the Gruffi pose and during the rant; he somehow talks as if he talked to Flint Steele and that causes one of the white male reporters to comes forward in awe that Donald Duck talked to Flint Steele. No; he didn't talk to Flint Steele; he doesn't like Flint Steele. I see the accent is causing chaos again. And you thought Baloo saving a baby in A Bad Reflection On You was misunderstood. Donald tries to explain that he hasn't done such a thing; but the reporter keeps talking as if he is friends with Flint Steele. Okay; Flint is pretty cool and being a black man does make him awesome, but he is in the wrong show to be pulling off this kind of crap. The reporter is so damn stupid that he thinks Donald saved Flint Steele's life and that brings the rest of the fraudsters in as they ignore Dewey. HAHA! Huey and the nephews do not believe this. Trust me; Donald doesn't believe it either. And then they act like a bunch of creeps and decide to run in and embrace Donald as friend of Flint. How convenient of them to do this only because of an obvious misunderstanding of Donald's accent. Donald is confused; but then sezs why not and we hug as Daisy calls for Donald and then yanks him from the embrace stage left. The press gasps in horror and then in an obvious stupid move on their part; they run stage right. That's right; they saw Donald going left; and they still went right. Daisy drags Donald over to a private spot and asks him if he's making this whole "I'm close friends with Flint Steele" up. Donald claims that he is not which is actually true. He didn't make that up; the PRESS OF FRAUD did. You clearly heard Donald ranting in a negative way about Flint earlier; so it clear who made what up. Daisy buys it and sezs hello to the Emmy again as she comes over and interviews Donald while she makes sure the camera is set up. Daisy asks how Donald saved Flint's life as Donald looks to his right and notices some posters of a Western poster and a Swiss Alps poster as Donald first claims that it was from a big cow; and then changes his mind and proclaims that he saved him from a big train. Oh yeah; he's not lying in the very least no siree. AND WE HIT THE FALSE FLASHBACK~!!
So we head to a playground as six year old Donald is riding on the spring horse and still wears his sailor gear. So we hear noises and we see a mini version of Flint Steele's robotic suit swinging on the swings. Donald panics and rushes to his aid because this swing set is built right in the middle of some real train tracks. What kind of sadists would allow a playground to be built right near AND ON a train route? Seriously; I want to know who is booking this crap?! So we see the train heading on as Donald grabs Flint and bails stage left as the train whizzes by and destroys the swing set of course. So believable. NOT!! Donald and Flint embrace and we return to reality (no, not really) as Donald beams with pride as Daisy finishes her promo and cuts the camera as we see the nephews sitting down in front of the camera as Dewey is clearly not buying this asking Donald about Flint owing him a favor which Donald proclaims that he does owe him big time. Louie holds Donald's hand as the nephews proclaim that since Donald met Flint Steele; he can get them inside the show without any problems, in which Donald proclaims that he can and then catches himself. HAHA! The nephews ask if he's right in a smugass way and Donald tugs on the neck collar of his shirt and gulps on cue to end the segment nearly 11 minutes in. Pretty good so far...
After the commercial break; we head to a tower like building as the fans of Flint Steele (including a female wearing a half purple shirt) are in the foreground cheering for Flint Steele. I'm guessing that this is the hotel where he's staying. One of them has an FS flag which is mirrored. So we pan up and then head inside the hallway as an elevator opens and slowly out comes Donald Duck. Donald slowly walks towards the hotel room of Flint Steele. I know this is Flint's hotel room because his bald headed bouncer with roided muscles, suit and a cell phone is guarding the door outside. This hotel has a lot of pink walls I should point out with really bad paintings on the walls and nice peach ceilings. Donald hides behind a fern pot and then Donald casually walks in as we discover that his name is Buttercup. Oooooookkkkkaaayyyyy. He also has a lackey to his right which appears out of nowhere who has black hair and the same type of body; which he is addressed as Cupcake. Ooooooooookkkkkkkaaaaayyyyyy. Donald waves hello and is here to see Flint and grins in a sheepish fashion. So we head off-screen as Donald is literally kicked out of the window and free falls. And of course the fans of Flint are such cold, heartless bastards that they move out of the way and Donald hits the concrete with his chin ala Darkwing Duck. OUCH!! So we head back to Buttercup & Cupcake (The reject from Whoop Ass Girls..ERRR...I mean the Powerpuff Girls) guarding the door as we see Donald arriving from up the stair with a dumbbell and apparently in the last minute or so; he's been going to Larson & Gary judging by his muscles. I should point that that he was lifting 600 pounds (300 pounds each side) as he drops the dumbbell and it rolls and hits the door as the guard move aside. Donald shows him his calling card as it's clear that he literally has balloon sacks in his muscles. Now that is such symbolism on Donald's part that I had to laugh at it. And even his muscles laughed at it so much that they deflate. HAHA! So Donald bails and returns with the tire pump and pumps up. HAHA!
Donald's balloon pops I'm guessing Donald gets kicked out of the window right about...now. And yes the balloons fly when Donald hits the pavement and yes; the fans are still vile bastards for not catching him. And they'll all probably get an extension and a World title push at some point because they are angry white males. Well; most of them are. So we head back with the planter with web feet spot and he walks right in the middle of the bouncers and knocks on the door. His sheepish giggle clearly gives him away as I'm guessing he gets thrown out the window right about.....now. Donald makes this one extra special as he lands on the pavement and the pot plant gets nailed right in Donald's ass. HAHA! So we head back to Daisy's house as she is pissed off while patching up Donald in the living room. See; she is in big trouble if that tape made it to air as she wants Donald to march to the nephews and say "I'm sorry; I messed up". Okay; here's the problem with this: The apology should be "I'm sorry boys! I lied to you about meeting Flint Steele."; but this apology Daisy is giving to Donald only implies that he messed up trying to get the bouncers to move aside. It doesn't say that he LIED to them about meeting Flint Steele; which was partially caused by the stupid press who cannot understand anything Donald is saying. Donald does try the apology on for size and we head to Donald's house and the nephews' living room as the nephews take it as Flint messed up and Donald nods. I don't understand why he just didn't say "I messed up" here because the nephews are only going to say: "Go back there and try again because Flint's too legit to quit and so are you!". Yes; it's corny, but it does make sense. Donald admits that he's too busy. Wait; so Donald did admit that he messed up and the nephews were stupid all along? The nephews plop into the love seat and mock him. They look outside the window and then they turn around and Huey asks Donald to admit that he doesn't know Flint at all. Which is funny considering how much ranting Donald Duck has done against him in the first seven minutes of this episode! Donald grins and then waves it off because he does know Flint, honest!
And the nephews all laugh it off claiming that Donald thinks they are fooled and Donald agrees with them. So then the nephews end around him and state that they ARE going to see him. Damn these nephews! Make up your mind; is Donald lying in your eyes; or not?! Donald's reaction is priceless as he points to his hand and proclaims that he's not sure. So we head to the Duckberg Ultradome as they have the electric style board for Flint Steele in banana yellow. Doesn't that clash with his blue personality and blue robotic suit?! There is a traffic jam in the foreground and spotlights flashing upwards as we head inside the basement like hallway as we see double door heading to the locker room on the east side; while we see the arena on the left side leading southwest. We see Daisy walking with her notepad and pencil as she notices the nephews running from the arena. She's surprised to see them and even more so when they proclaim that Donald is looking for Flint Steele. So the locker doors flop open and out comes Flint Steele as the nephews are in awe. Dewey proclaims that he looks small and insignificant. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Daisy is not impressed and ponders this ease as we see the key chain of Flint cutting promo. Yeap; it's Donald in the robot suit, which begs the question: How did Donald get the suit away from Flint Steele? It cannot be that he made one since this one looks legit and there is only one suit available. Sadly; Daisy clearly notices Donald's white ass and decides to play along asking questions. So Daisy wants to know about Donald saving his life and wants to ask DONALD a few questions. So Donald Steele backs into the locker room and we get a lot of crashing and shaking which does Donald absolutely no favors whatsoever. The nephews proclaim that Donald is amazing, and Daisy proclaims that it's more than they know. HEE HEE! So Donald's head pops from the doors as he pants (another incriminating sign right there) as he greets the nephews and Daisy. Daisy is not amused as she sarcastically demands more Flint Steele because the nephews barely had time with them. Well; you're the one who wanted Donald outside to ask questions Daisy. That's your fault.
So Donald runs back in complete with Hanna Barbara running sound effects and we crash and shake again as the nephews seem to no longer care if Donald is lying or not. The nephews look at Daisy and have finally realized that Donald is clearly tricking them as Donald Steele comes out as we see Donald panting like crazy. So Daisy wants to see Donald again because she has a question to ask him. Daisy opens the hatch and brings out the keychain as it proclaims that Daisy is a clown and she's going down. Not if BS&P has anything to say about it Donald Duck; and they have a lot to say on the direction of this show. So Donald Steele walks back into the locker room as we get more shaking and crashing as Donald comes out again panting. Daisy then proclaims that she has changed her mind and Donald goes all punch drunk and walks back into the locker room and we have more crashing and shaking. Donald Steele comes out and he's so dizzy now that he pratfalls on his face and the helmet comes off and Donald is still BUSTED! Now if I were Daisy; I would ask the obvious question here: Why do you have Flint Steele's outfit? So Donald pops out somehow as the key chain cannot stop cutting lame promos which pisses Donald off and he stomps on it like a madman. I'm glad this is the last episode because Donald can now go out in a blaze of glory instead of a whimper. Oh wait; I forgot about Mickey's Mouseworks; my mistake. The nephews are shocked and appalled as Donald kicks the keychain's ass and Dewey makes a nice catch and finally the keychain stops being annoying. I guess Dewey catching it pushed the off button on it. Just as well. And now Donald is seriously (insert swear word here) as the nephews are now pissed off as they cannot believe that they fell for Donald's tricks. Well; that's your fault nephews! You are stupider than he is as they storm off. Daisy follows them and in an amazing surprise, she doesn't say a thing to Donald at all. Why? So ranting on a male by a female is off limits now? Donald apologizes for messing up and then kicks the suit for fun. However; then we hear noises and out comes...Flint Steele with red eyes?! So Donald was telling the truth all this time?! That he met Flint for real?! This makes no sense. So that ends the segment sixteen and a half minutes in. Logic breaks aside; this has been a really good episode. So we have less than six minutes left in this series; so let's take a deep breath and here we go....
After the commercial break; we see Flint Steele grab Donald by the shoulder and he demands to know who his name is and it's Donald Duck as the response. Then Flint Steele is in shock and he hugs Donald and calls him Donnie. So Donald Duck told the truth about meeting Flint Steele all this time? Nah; that would make the flashback look even more silly in hindsight. So we head to the beakbleed seats (get it?) as the nephews sit down and blow off Donald for depressing them despite Daisy pointing out that Donald was trying to impress the boys. Daisy proclaims that they will at least see Flint Steele anyway because she got free ticket due to her entitlement as a broadcast journalist on "What In The World?". The nephews smugly proclaims that Daisy's rating are not so hot as they are sitting pretty much in the 50th row. No; her ratings are fine, it's the fact that Kent Powers is CHEAP! Remember that nephews; Kent Powers hates your guts. And I don't blame him one bit as we continue in the hallway as Flint finally takes the helmet off and he sounds exactly like the original Shredder in TMNT 1987. Which is more racist; a black man voiced by a white man (Miss Goatky from Recess), or a white man voiced by a black man (Shredder)? I'm just curious. I'm guessing it's the former. So they exchange notes as we discover that Donald doesn't remember Flint but yet has met Flint anyway in Camp Kayak when they decided to bully a kid with an apple with a worm in it. I'm guessing this is why Donald has wiped his memories from that meeting. I don't blame him as we head to the elevator as they laugh at all of Donald's evil deeds including drilling holes in the canoe which sank in kind. By the way; the boy Donald bullied was addressed as Warren Wigglemeyer and as they get into the elevator and it closes as Flint puts the helmet back on and then admits that he's Warren Wigglemayer. UH OH! Donald is a RACIST!! And Warren is going to exact revenge on him the best way he knows how. By coming up the floor of the arena and making Donald the fresh meat for him to squash in the GAUNTLET OF PERIL. AWESOME! I am so loving this as a ranter!
So the crowd cheer for Flint Steele and Donald Duck's death as Daisy cannot believe that it's Donald wearing a mini version of the suit with rocket skates. I cannot believe that Donald could somehow get into those dud within five seconds. Anyhow; Flint cuts a promo about someone he would never forget (Donald) as Donald make a big impact on him and he is about to repay him for said impact as somehow Donald's skates turn on and Donald rushes down the hill ahead him. Wow; Warren is so awesome, he even offers without complaining at all; to give Donald a head start! Gunther has to be crying in his beer over that one. And no; I don't mean Gunther Magnumson. So Donald races through the GAUNTLET OF PERIL as the nephews are in awe. So Warren rocket after him pleading for Donald to stop; but Donald cannot for some reason as he races onto the arrow path towards the atomic ball course which is created like an atomic bomb. I doubt that there is a bomb there as Warren calls for Donald to stop; but no dice as apparently, I see know that Donald panicked on the start and raced away himself. So we go through the arrow drain of death like a whirlpool (with no water though) as he does the whirlwind spot. The nephews call this extreme as Donald drops on his ass and slides a bit until he stops on the cliff. The announcer proclaims that he is in the MONSTERFUL ROADWAY OF DOOM (which Louie teases that maybe Donald is leading Flint in this one) and Donald tries to climb up; but the power of suggestion drag him down into the maze. So we slide into the maze as we light up the star control panel and play big ass pinball ala the Sesame Street cartoon segments about counting numbers. Only up to three in this one as Donald slides and keeps missing the pinball; while Warren enters the maze screaming for Donald. I think we can stop calling him Flint now as Donald goes underneath the pinball and then land on top of it and stops running like a trained hamster.
So he manages to find Warren and squash him with the big ass pinball. HAHA! Donald drops in front of Warren and then Donald runs stage right like Scooby Doo on speed. So Warren follows him as the nephews are loving this because Donald is leading. Wait; I thought they loved Flint Steele?! Shouldn't they be groaning while Daisy cheers? Never mind; this show is almost done as the nephews go UH OH and then cover Daisy's eyes because she won't have to see Donald's blood curdling screams for help. Ummm; forgot to cover the ears there you morons! So the announcer proclaims that Donald has bounces into the LASER JUNGLE OF ALL WOUNDS! That is exactly what the announcer said. It's basically a green computer like floor with a hydra laser cannon. So the laser beam fire and Donald dodges like crazy as Flint arrives on his rocket boots and continue to scream for Donald as it's clear now that he's not trying to get his revenge on him. Which is kind of pointless; since his obstacle course is doing the revenge on it's own anyway. Donald gets up and panics; so he stomps on the ground to get his rocket boots going and they don't sell. Until his rocket boots get hit by a laser that misses by two feet; but the power of suggestion manages to get the rockets to fire and he rockets away towards the path to the finish line as the nephews cheer proclaiming that Donald is going to beat Flint Steele as Daisy uncovers her eyes in disbelief as Donald goes up the ramp into the air and the winner proclaims Donald as the winner as he bounces into the trampoline for the win. The nephews jump up and cheer on cue because they have to save face for looking like idiots in front of Donald and blowing him off.
Donald cannot even move as Warren arrives and Donald decides to finally give up and let Warren murder him legit. Warren is taken aback by this, takes the helmet off and tells Donald that he only wants to thank him for picking on him at Camp Kayak because it inspired him to get stronger and be a star in mindless television. Now that's an awesome finish because it gives Donald a good send off and Warren still looks strong in spite of it because he got the fame in spite of being bullied by Donald. No hard feelings indeed. So Warren grabs him and shows him off to spotlights as the crowd pops for it and Warren cuts his lame promo; which causes Donald to faint dead away in his arms. HAHA! Sadly; this would prove to be Donald's final good appearance as Warren looks at the crowd to end the episode and the series at 21:10. We have our second thumbs up episode here as Donald went out in a blaze of glory and Warren was great in this one. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; one thing in Quack Pack's favor is that the final episode I ranted on was the second thumbs up episode I gave to this show. This to me was a really good way for Donald to go out as he really did meet Flint Steele; but it was a long time ago in which he wiped his memories off because he bullied him. Which is classic Donald Duck gimmick. Yes; some of the logic in this was wonky and the Donald Duck stealing Flint Steele's suit was silly, but Donald was awesome in this one as he carried this episode to one of the most enjoyable episodes in the series. And once we discover that Donald and Flint met and Flint was the kid Donald picked on in summer camp; it was some really good obstacle course doing as Donald schools Warren unintentionally; not because Donald wanted to win; but because he thought Warren was going to kill him. Loved every single minute of that chase. The nephews were used in such a way that they couldn't push the crappy button and the bouncers were nothing as the standard "practice the fine art of not being seen and screw up" thing was cute; but nothing we haven't seen before. And how did this all start? A press member not understanding Donald, DUH!! The animation was fine for the most part; although there were a few cardboard moments here and there.
So that officially ends Quack Pack! YESSSSSSSSS! Well; first off: The show did have two standout episodes: Pardon My Molecules which was a Daisy focused episode and this one which was Donald focused. To be fair; the nephews together had a hell of an episode in Need 4 Speed; but that was pretty much the peak in terms of quality. There were two thumbs up and 14 in the middle; but a record 23 thumbs down making it the worse ratio of quality to crap in DTVA right now. The enjoyment of this show depends on the nephews; but they were so overwritten and the bookers made no attempt to make them likable (Need 4 Speed is the lone exception) that everytime there was a nephew focused episode; I cringe. There are other problems with this show as I mentioned in Feats Of Clay and most of my views from the Review Line on that episode are unchanged. If you didn't read that rant; here they are:
Good: Daisy & Donald Duck. Donald Duck might be half of what he was; but like pizza even half of good is still really good. When Donald is given a chance to be funny Donald Duck can deliver. Sadly; this episode was a bad example. I also like Daisy Duck the most. She needed the makeover the most; but the makeover was really a good payoff and sadly she was really in the wrong show in my opinion. If she was in Ducktales doing the EXACT same gig to the letter; she would have been killer. Miss Beakly and Webby would have been exposed as the stereotypes they are and we would not have to wait until 1989 and Gadget Hackwrench.
Okay: Kent Powers & Knuckles. When Kent is against the nephews; I really like him for obvious reasons against everyone else; he is not so good since he comes off a tad too heartless and over the top. Knuckles is okay as a one joke pet and has some good interactions with Daisy; but not much else.
Bad: Gwumpki...If he loses the broken English and bad
European accent; he would be okay. Otherwise; he will always come off
as crappy and a borderline racist stereotype. Bad, bad form there
guys. At least he can be easily fixed unlike some characters I
know..... (Although he had one awesome bit in Ready! Aim! Duck!)
-
Using Toby Shelton as Supervising Producer: He had zero clue how to
perform in that role. Jymn Magon knew how to do that role and do it
well and it ultimately poisoned everyone from top to bottom creating
this mess you see. (Even worse; Toby's decision were by design and
not because he was clueless.)
- Excessive BS&P meddling and
note padding that was ignored and thus creating chaos and confusion.
I'll explain about this more when I find the notes because I seem to
have lost them at the moment
- Using the nephews as the main
focus: The nephews were such poison already that they dragged
everyone down to their level. Had they were playing second fiddle
like the Ducktales were to Scoorge McDuck; I think you might have a
better result.
- A lot of plot device that only work for 11 minute
shorts. Many episodes were PADDED because they were 11 minute wonders
extended for 22 minute stories.
- Darkwing Duck style comedy
written for an asinine sitcom style. Darkwing Duck only works because
it's an ACTION cartoon. Quack Pack is a sitcom/soap opera.
Sitcoms/Soap Operas need more TaleSpin comedy; a lot less Darkwing
Duck comedy. Jymn Magon of all people had the formula RIGHT there in
his paws and he MISSED THAT?!
Ugly: The Nephews: Need I say more.....? The less said the
better. (Although Huey getting clobbered by a fish in Huey Duck, P.I.
was perversely entertaining.)
- Logic Breaks galore. Every episode
had more than 15 logic breaks except for Transmission Impossible
which had nine. Simply unacceptable even in 1996.
- Blown
Animation....I haven't seen enough of Toon City Animation (Heavy
Dental which was okay) to get a read; but I have read horror stories
on their animation practices. This episode's animation from Sun Woo
was an abomination pure and simple. WD-OZ for Transmission Impossible
was actually halfway decent.
However; I would like to add: Donald acting like Goofy to that list of bad stuff. There were six negative star episodes and two directly have Donald as the focal point of the episode; two were focused on the nephews, one was with Kent Powers and one was Donald/nephews equally. Getting a half dozen negative star episodes is bad enough; but when Donald is neck and neck with the nephews in that category; that is a huge problem. Nevertheless; I will give Quack Pack credit for at least having 14 decent episodes and two good ones; so it wasn't the complete write off. I think that they could have got away with this if the writers had learned simple basic storytelling and not try to be too chaotic. Throwing in space aliens for no reason is Ruby Spears thinking and people watch Disney to get away from Ruby Spears; not be reminded of it. Take My Duck, Please at least made the space alien more entertaining and gave us a build and set up and everything. By the time I got to this episode; I was completely drained and I was a lot less harsh on the show in general because I just wanted it to end. It's too bad this episode wasn't #39 and it was Feats of Clay which was a complete DUD in every sense of the word. And now I will have to admit wrongdoing concerning the Quack Pack DVD. Chris Barat called the "Volume One" DVD a goof from the start. Sadly; calling it the "Best of Quack Pack" turned out to be a much bigger error in hindsight because none of those three episodes were over **. Hero Today, Pardon My Molecules and Leader Of The Quack would have been much better representations of the best of Quack Pack, so I don't know why Disney didn't pick them for the DVD. Maybe they read Juan F. Lara's reviews and thought three of his positive reviews were better. I don't know because hindsight 20/20 proved otherwise. Goof Troop's set was better; but still I don't think that is even the best of Goof Troop.
So there you have it; my first show in which the show was a bomb ratings and quality wise has been completed in full. I would still take Kick Buttowski and Fish Hooks over this crappy show. All thanks to the nephews, as usual. Donald would continue on (because he's second or third on the main event status of Disney animation only to Goofy and Mickey Mouse), now playing to preschoolers in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; a shell of his former self. Daisy also is still working on that show; and she looked like she regressed back to her 1950's look too. Ludwig made some appearances as well. The nephews did appearance in House of Mouse as they hit rock bottom playing as the infamous QuackStreet Boys. If I find the episode in question; I might do a Quick & Dirty rant on it someday like I did with Raw Toonage. Then they appeared in a CGI Christmas Short which went straight to video looking like their old selves from Ducktales and then appeared on KaBoom comics in Ducktales. Lucky for them; the third issue was not their fault this time. The Quack Pack nephews were basically dead and done after House of Mouse and thank goodness for that. So next up is Fish Hooks next weekend and then Easter Sadism with Fanboy & Chum Chum to wrap up my ranting for the first half of this year. If you think Quack Pack is bad; wait until I dive into an acute case of Brainfreeze! OW! So........
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.