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Rescue Rangers To The Rescue Part Three
Disney Should Really Get A Medal Here...
For all of the bluster of political correctness that is so freely used that it becomes a catchphrase to shield bigotry; it's a rare occurrence when political correctness is used and it actually makes a series do so well that it makes you rethink the context of such hatred towards it. That character I'm talking about debuts in this episode and became the template that Disney Television Animation stole about a hundred times and made Disney Feature adjust the Disney Movie Formula Of Doom. And of course we continue the quest of the Rescue Rangers stopping Fat Cat from framing two police officers, so it's all good around. So let's rant on and see what is in store for Part three shall we...?!
Part three of this episode is written by Tad Stones, Jymn Magon, Mark Zaslove and Julia J. Roberts. The story was edited by Tad Stones, Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove. The story was made by Tad Stones and Kevin Hopps. Julia J. Roberts is Julia Jane Lewald before she married TaleSpin writer Eric Lewald and she recently wrote episodes for the 4Kids version of TMNT: Fast Forward. One question: With anime being the forefront of animation in the last ten years I would have thought that the A-list voice talents like Jim Cummings, Corey Burton, Tress among many others would have been primed to do the roles since they had the talent to perform the characters in an accurate manner; but all we got was the C list of voice talents (nowadays it's closer to B list; but still) for anime for the most part with a few TaleSpin guys like Sherry Lynn, Tony Pope and David Lodge sprinkled in. I guess I can chalk it up to snobbery just like with American companies bashing Nintendo. On the other hand; we do get them often in video games so it's a pretty fair trade off. The animation was done by Walt Disney Animation Japan which means that this is a good sign right off the bat and this should be the debut for the new in house studio created from former TMS members.
Interesting Moment #1: This is a given for the rest of the pilot so I'll mention this only once: They do a preview of the previous episode which is a bad sign that this is the syndication version of the pilot which is usually has scenes snipped for time. Well; at least there should be no cuts for violence and forbidden content. At least I hope that is the case. Anyhow; they make a CONTINUITY ERROR here since we never saw the bigger ship on it's side profile until this very preview. It's not that the design is screwed up; it's just plain odd to see the ship on the side profile rather than the front shot that ended the previous episode.
We officially begin this one with the same front shot of the bigger ship heading straight for the smaller ship. Yippeee! Bumper Ships! I always wanted to see something like this at a carnival since it would be an amusing twist since playing bumper cars has gotten a wee bit stale for my liking. We then go to the ship shot and Zipper notices that the ship is sailing straight for the harbor. WHAT THE HECK?! Isn't it supposed to be sailing into another freakin ship?! Logic break #1 for the episode and a really bad one at that. There's no way I can accept this one. I mean the animators made it clear that the broken down ship was heading towards another ship AWAY from the harbor and then with no real rhyme or reason it's now facing the harbor and no ship. This is a Ruby-Spears type of error. Even the Phantom WildCat from Lost Horizons made more sense than this one. Even the SeaDuck squeezing into a small room in The Incredible Shrinking Molly made more sense than this. Okay; let's continue on as we head into the wheel room as Chip and Dale push and grunt on the engine shut off switch (which has white letters and gold trim in a nice touch). As bad as that logic break is with the ship/harbor; at least the animators did a bang up job in remembering the amount of damage done in the focus ship with the shattered glass still being there. The chipmunks have no success because it is jammed; or in reality they cannot put the three pounds of force needed to push it properly.
Monty tell them to step aside because it's time for MIDGET MADNESS! Okay; he's going to give a whack of it with the crowbar which Baloo will use as his AUTOPILOT OF DOOM next year. He uses the crowbar to whack the engine shut off switch and the ship only goes faster. Monty and the Chipmunks (Yeah; that was lame) take a pretty wussy bump with their backs against the wall; although by their standards; that was MAN-SIZED. At least it was a bump (giving angry look at Drake from Getting Antsy) as Monty tells them it's unjammed. Chip gleefully blows him off since it was unjammed the wrong way. Monty at least realizes that he screwed them and the chipmunks panic as the ship heads straight for the harbor using the exact same side profile shot as in the preview. Okay; so they were shooting for the harbor from the start; which makes the ending shot from the previous episode a logic break. So scratch the logic break from here and make it Logic Break #4 for the previous episode. The rating still stands though. The steel ship destroys the wooden pier and then destroys the street as it slides into the city. This is almost like a Peter Griffin/Ernie/Gake The Giant Chicken fighting sequence without the pointless fighting. The ship heads straight for a manhole cover which opens up to reveal a human worker turning around and panicking. Of course BS&P will not allow real murder on DTVA television; the ship simply stops in front of him. Oh well; better luck next time Monty.
Sailor song plays in the background as we cut to the chipmunks as Monty is inspired by his ride on a Walrus over Niagara Falls to remind the audience that this story more or less takes place in the real world around 1989ish. Dale faints right on cue and Chip blows him off calling Monty crazy. If that was Don Karnage; Chip would be chipmunk meat for Don to eat for one meal. Monty defends himself by saying the Walrus thought it was so. SCORE!! Chip then goes over and slaps the fainted Dale silly to wake him up and Dale no sells because he doesn't want to go to school today. Well; he is a prankster who hates school; who knew?! Chip does the heel yank shirt spot to make him stop acting like a goof and Dale finally salutes him because it's time to get that ruby back from Fat Cat. Monty and Zipper salute him and want to join the chipmunks much to Chip's surprise considering that Monty almost got half the city into a panic because Fat Cat MURDERED his house. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic. Chip agrees to with shrugging his shoulders lest he get launched by Monty and they leave as we cut to the sea on a plank of wood as Fat Cat is whining about losing to the Rescue Rangers three times already which is slightly less than Don Karnage lost against Kit in his two episodes. Of course; Don won once by kidnapping Rebecca and Molly so I guess he's whining because he cannot beat Don Karnage despite him not existing until next year. The henchmen are of course paddling because that is what the henchmen do in these situations. Mole reminds Fat Cat who's ruby it really is and Fat Cat actually agrees with him and orders the heels to stroke faster towards the harbor.
So that logically leads to the Happy Tom Cat Food Factory as pan down to the helicopter which Mr. Klordane uses a human heel henchmen (Percy of course) to step on when he hops into the helicopter. Turly a sign of a good heel and I see Fat Cat has indeed learned from his master. We cut over the wooden crates where the Rescue Rangers Minus Awesome Female Character hide behind them. Dale wonders if Fat Cat has given him the ruby yet and Chip uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH to reveal that he hasn't yet as Fat Cat runs and strips naked and then goes into his real world cat mode. Stripping naked is so passe now that Cubbi has pulled it off. It isn't the same without a child present to see it and Dale doesn't count here. He's a man child; yes, but not a real child. Chip wants to get that ruby back; but Monty cuts him off and runs towards the panicky Fat Cat wanting to MURDER him. It's so sweet when the mouse wants to get his sweet revenge on his natural enemy. Sadly; Fat Cat is just TOO FAT see and he squashes Monty into a squeeze box. HAHA! I see the Darkwing Duck auditions have already started one year early. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Chip and company unsqueeze him and run after Fat Cat while Monty stumbles and fumbles like a drunk. We cut to Klordane telling the heels that once Professor Nimnul has the ruby then phase two begins as Percy makes a train metaphor to distract him...ERRR..annoy him. Fat Cat eats the ruby and hops into the helicopter as Klordane notices him and thinks nothing about it. The helicopter takes off with zero chance of the Rescue Rangers grabbing it as Donald Drake's career has gone up in smoke.
Monty doesn't think so as he pats them on the shoulder and has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN to go after them so we go into the helicopter as Klordane is about to open the CHEST OF DEMONS which makes Fat Cat panic and he jumps right onto Klordane's face. Now there's a fitting spot for him as Klordane swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (What in creation) and Fat Cat spits the ruby back into the CHEST OF DEMONS. Klordane swears that Fat Cat is afraid of flying and blows him off making him TaleSpin's fourth biggest babyface right there. Klordane puts Fat Cat down on the floor and then goes for the big ass cellphone because he wants to reach out and torture someone. So that logically leads to police headquarters and inside the office of Fifth Precinct Spinelli as he answers the phone while eating on the job like all fat police officers like to do according to the stereotypes. Klordane uses his really bad female voice of doom calling himself Miss Ruby. Now any police officer worth his salt would have figured this one out in three seconds; but Spinelli doesn't and decides to see Donald Drake to have him answer the phone. I see Ashley Spinelli was the smart one of the family after all. Ponder that one and despair. We cut to the jail cell as Plato's head is still stuck in the headlights and if you listen closely you can hear Kit laughing all the way to the bank on that one. Plato is regretting ever giving that assignment as he tries to get his head unstuck but no dice.
Spinelli enters the jail area and then opens the door to tell Donald Drake that Miss Ruby is on the phone. This makes Baloo's condescending spot on WildCat when Rebecca debuted seem dead on in comparison. Donald isn't buying this and answers the phone. Nice to see someone can see through all this as Klordane plays the female voice and then blows his cover on him. Sadly; Spinelli cannot hear them as Donald calls Klordane a slime bag before slamming the phone down and throwing it at Spinelli; nearly MURDERRING him. Ooooo; Donald has gone insane and he's not even a duck here. Spinelli gets out of there and slams the prison door shut as Donald swears that he is going to kill Klordane and he EVEN TAKES GOD'S GOOD NAME IN VAIN TO BOOT! And he doesn't say it in DUBBED ANIME STYLE EITHER! That makes him the second character (well; actually the first since it came a year before TaleSpin) in DTVA history to do that; next to Kit Cloudkicker. Donald Drake just got over on that spot alone. Just for reference; he said and I'm paraphrasing here: I'll kill Klordane for this; I swear to God! Donald was set up and everyone knows it except Spinelli and the police force who are too stupid to notice the one key word in all this: Ruby. Spinelli cannot believe that Donald has snapped. I can because like Iwata; he sees stuff you refuse to see Spinelli. One more note: Kit's Oh My God was changed Oh My Gosh in the subtitles; but Donald Drake's is RIGHT THERE for all to see. Disney not liking child characters swearing much?!
So; we head to the airport as we get a pan shot of the runway and then a pan shot of the airport baggage area. Then we get a pan shot of Zipper zipping down a model of the Effel Tower as Chip blows off the whole thing since there is no flight to Glacier Bay where the heels are. Chip jumps down from the table holding the model of the steel tower and he wants Monty's head it seems but Monty's not there and neither is Dale as we pan over to the cafe (because airline food is supposed to be terrible see) to see Monty and Dale on the counter as Monty reveals rule number one of adventurin' (his word, not mine): always grab a bite to eat when you can. Truer words never spoken Monty. Monty pushes on the straw machine and gets a straw as Dale likes that rule. Geez; what a surprise that was?! Dale pushes too hard on the straw machine with his foot and gets about thirty straws give or take. That's the third time that has happened to Dale in this pilot. Monty then hyper references another story in an attempt to sound witty and comes off more and more like a violent version of Mr. Hardcore. I mean physically violent; not verbally violent.
Dale recovers getting a bent straw (Dale gets all the bad luck here) as Monty stops on a dime because he sees a Cheeseburger which signals the CHEESE ADDICTION OF DOOM! Dale is confused as all we are as Monty runs and hides right into the cheeseburger bun which the tray is grabbed by a person. This must be some form of symbolic message of cheese loving leading to deadly escapades but since this is Monty; I chalk it up as one major silly spot. The victim is a red haired girl wearing glasses wearing white and black carrying a red purse. Strangely she sounds like Gadget for some odd reason; but then Tress is doing almost all of the female characters so this makes sense here. She grabs the burger to eat it; but Monty blows his cover and the female screams and calls him a rat. She throws the cheeseburger away allowing Monty to take a MAN-SIZED bump into the ketchup packs and basically opening all of them on impact complete with pie splat sound effect. In a surprise twist; Dale doesn't get any ketchup on him. Now there's fuzzy cartoon logic at work as Monty pops up and isn't so lucky, DUH! He still gets the cheese though; so it's negated. The humans shriek like mad as Monty and Dale bail to floor level like a bunch of scalded dogs. Chip and Zipper blow them off although saying Where have they been is tainted a bit by the fact that Chip could clearly SEE them on the food counter. I guess; What the heck are you doing making a scene like that?! was too long.
Monty tells him to run (with ketchup still on his body (good CONTINUITY there guys) and Chip doesn't get it until he get MURDERED with the RIC FLAIR BROOM OF DOOM by an evil mustache man. See; even in this world, Ric Flair's broomstick trumps Shane Douglas' chipmunk. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Chip goes flatter than last week's PS3 hardware sales in America (so he's auditioning for Darkwing Duck too I see) and then Chip crawls away as we cut to the runway again as a plane takes off and into the runway grass where Chip, Dale and Monty are walking with Chip blowing off Monty for being either stupid or blaming his cheese addiction. Monty tells him not to worry about it like someone with an addiction; only a lot nicer. Zipper gleefully tells him off on that until Monty finally admits that he has an addiction; although not using the line directly. Monty proclaims that he cannot help himself. Hey; that Babs' gimmick you fatso! AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Chip proclaims that his brain has snapped and doesn't trust Monty to get them to Glacier Bay. Monty blows it off because he's not going to get them there; an old pal of his is as he points to a wrecked green seaplane on the runway far away from the airport and then we pan over for a closer look as Monty calls his old pal Geegaw Hackwrench. For the fanboys of this series; I think you should know where this angle is going now. He calls Geegaw the greatest pilot in aviation history. I think Baloo and half of the pilots from TaleSpin might dispute that one Monty.
They climb up the front landing gear wheel as Monty claims that he can land a plane on a polar bear's nose. Oh snap! Even Baloo cannot do that! Geegaw is the best pilot in history after all! Pass me the Kleenex! Hey; It's Monty; you expect me to take THAT story seriously?! They go through the plane in a neat spot; even popping up from the engine. Chip takes a nasty bump to the chin from Dale popping up in a really neat spot. That's how you sell it! Chip responds by popping the cover back on Dale's little pinhead. HAHA! More walking inside the plane as Monty jumps into the AIR HOSE OF DOOM. And you thought the children Gummi Bears were complex when it comes to setting up a room?! Monty claims that Geegaw is angry at him for some unrelated incident at Zanzibar. Let me guess; it was the ATTACK OF THE SWISS CHEESE PLANE~! AHHAHAHAHAHA! Chip and Dale hop into the air hose as Chip is confused and then we cut to deeper inside the airplane as Chip wants answers on the Zanzibar incident. Which leads to Monty admitting that it was about cheese beard (and thus pays off my bad joke to boot which is something The Wuzzles NEVER did.) as he steps on the trap rope (unlike Kit who literally tripped over it like a goof) and Chip earns the plunger right in the kisser. HAHA! I betcha Dale laughs like a chipmunk on THAT one. It doesn't happen sadly as Dale pops the plunger from his face. Chip swears like a chipmunk and they proceed onward.
Chip blows off Monty's suggestion that Geegaw has (a) forgiven him and (b) not being a sadist which is proven as Monty realizes that Geegaw has about a million sharp and crushing objects ready to MURDER him at a moment's notice. Chip calls this tricky and tells the gang to follow him very carefully. Prediction: They screw up within thirty seconds. Zipper then points up to Chip to look up and there sitting on the top is Cheddar Cheese right on top of the button which springs all of the traps. Chip and Dale try to move Monty away from the scene but he's just TOO FAT. And too late so he can smell the cheese a mile away and it's the CHEESE ADDICTION OF DOOM~! Monty is walking dead as the gang tries to stop him; but no dice as they step on the button and that springs all the traps at once...and somehow; not one trap comes close to making contact with them. My guess is Geegaw was not mad at Monty since his traps suck like crap. Well; the safe almost remotely makes contact and that somehow snaps Monty out of his cheese attack; or not. Man; Monty's addiction have some defense mode to counter those traps.
Out of about a billion sharp objects; the only one that makes actual contact is the plunger. BS&P move if I ever saw one and even Monty cannot be stopped by that. Monty jumps onto the platform which the wired up mouse trap is attached too and Monty grabs the cheese from the button and the DRAMATIC MUSIC OF DOOM plays and the net falls on the heroes as Monty eats the cheese without a care in the world. Ah; the wonders of a drug...ERRR..cheese addict. Which leads to the microwave opening right on cue and bringing out the MOUSE KILLER ROBOT OF DEATH as the babyface panic at the sadism of Geegaw. The FORK OF DOOM grabs the babyfaces by the neck and raises them about ten feet into the air (well; by mouse standards, it's two feet in reality) as Monty pleads with the robot to stop because they are friends. The big ass knife cuts the net which indicates that he's not really that upset with Monty and the babyfaces scream and drop with MAN-SIZED bumps on the floor. Monty apologizes profusely to Geegaw for being such a cheese addict in such a whimpering way.....
........And then history is made as the hatch opens from the killer mouse robot as Tress' female voice (Kitten Kaboodle's angry voice at the finish for A Star Is Torn, Babs Bunny from Tiny Toons) beckons and a female white pale mouse wearing all purple and wearing a foam white helmet hops out of the hatch and hugs Monty like a child. She also says Golly for the first time too. Get used to it; she's going to say that a lot which makes Donald Drake's God reference from earlier even funnier in hindsight. The chipmunks think that the female is Geegaw and think Monty is lying about his old pal's gender (which isn't all that surprising methinks knowing Monty); but the mouse reveals herself as Gadget for real lest Peggy Charmon throws a real hissy fit over that moment. Well; she's already throwing a hissy fit over animal cartoon characters in general as her criticism of TaleSpin demonstrated which is even funnier in hindsight after supporting the Lesbian angle from the anthro cartoon Arthur. Monty refers to Gadget as Geegaw's daughter and she's grown up to being barely adult age now and the chipmunks are charmed as Gadget is in their eyes. And I don't blame them one bit. Gadget was REALLY HOT even now and I think only Princess Lotta L'amour was the only babyface to rival her in being ultra sexy by Disney standards. Gadget greets the two acting like a geek in the process as she somehow forgets her manners but recoils. She's still a million times less of a freak than Mr. Hardcore though.
Chip and Dale shake hands with Gadget as Dale remembers to bump Chip away. Gadget doesn't suspect a thing which is good because SHE IS HOT BABEE! Gadget then accuses them of being salesmen and admits that she's the FREAKIN SADIST who built the traps. Now that is AWESOME as Monty implies that she's insane. Not nearly as insane as Mr. Hardcore. Gadget admits her geeky side because she gets bored and has to invent stuff. She's got the geek factor down to a fault here and all without the obvious downside of a geek being fat and out of shape. Gadget offers to show her sprocket collection; but the chipmunks opt out of that deal since there is business to be done. Gadget says that Geegaw is gone and Dale heartlessly asks when he's coming back and Chip goes for the Rebecca elbow which just isn't that devastating because Gadget's dad died a year ago. In two of those amazing moments; that is the exact amount of time Kit Cloudkicker spent with the Air Pirates as a heel before turning on them and Geegaw is doing the exact same pose Baloo would do for the TaleSpin logo. Geegaw is even wearing the same bomber jacket Baloo wears in the logo and Kit in Flight School. SPOOKY! Or Disney recycling. You the viewer decide!
Gadget is in tears as Monty feels sorry for the loss. Gadget then really makes me smile by stating in tears that she misses him already and then smiles and goes back into geek mode building a chair for her guest. Now there's selflessness on parade. Kit stole that emotion changing spot from her I should point out. Heartless irony aside; it is a pretty sad moment because it does screw everyone's plans; but as cool as Geegaw was and looked; we never got to relate to him enough to make me care about him. This was also the same problem Gosalyn had with her grandfather in her pilot for Darkwing Duck. However; Gadget was so hot and awesome as a character that it didn't matter if we didn't care about her father per se; as long as we had a lot of sympathy for her. As I stated before; Gadget was the best DTVA character of all time at that point and would have easily kept the title had it not been for a certain 12 year old bear cub named Kit Cloudkicker. If Kit wasn't seven years younger than Gadget; that would be the ultimate couple. Those two could play mind games on themselves and everyone else and you would never know what those two would be up to until it's too late. I pencil Gadget as the second best DTVA character of all time; below Kit and above Cubbi and Gosalyn with Launchpad the Ducktales era at number five. The biggest reason for #2 is that Gadget could never be a heel of any kind (compared to Kit who can play sad heel); she was always a bouncy babyface who was plain nasty when she needed to be and she had it easy when it came to carrying an episode on her back since almost no one in the series was up to the task (Tammy and Foxglove instantly come to mind).
She is the reason for many of the best episodes of Rescue Rangers; including the ultra crazy Heaven's Gate episode “The Case of the Cola Cult” which is something I didn't think Disney would allow; but they managed to get it pass BS&P. TaleSpin already has Kit and Don Karnage as their carriers; but they don't appear all the time due to the small groups policy Magon wanted in his series so the character designers were forced to either have Baloo carry the episode which he simply couldn't do; or create awesome one shot characters to do it. They chose the later and in effect; the main characters had to perform above and beyond their usual design in order to keep up with the one who were making their shot count. A lot of fans of TaleSpin claim that the one shoters where in fact at times more entertaining than the main cast; and that claim does ring true to a large degree. Gadget is also the first female where you can say that she's sexy and have such an amazing amount of skill that the men look like a bunch of idiots in comparison to her. She is the reason why Rebecca, Daisy, Miranda, Daisy (from Quack Pack) and Elisa even exist as they are: They are not sex objects; nor dumb females who cannot reach the level of men in skill and ability. I'd include Molly Cunningham in this; but she's more of a tomboy compared to the rest. This was an important step in Disney Television Animation gaining it's spot as the place for children's animation on television and it lead to even bigger changes for children's television later on. Some needed; some that shouldn't have happen. But for better or worse; Gadget is the character who pulled it off.
....and now back to the rant; as Gadget builds the chair in record time as the Rescue Rangers admit that Geegaw isn't going to help them and Monty is not going to be flying the Screamin' Eagle. Was that going to be Baloo's plane if Launchpad wasn't considered for the lead role in TaleSpin?! Gadget of course pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) from the conviently placed spot and the Screamin' Eagle comes down gently from the pulley. Monty is giddy as he relates another tall tale about the plan and makes an armadillo reference as Gadget tells Monty that Geegaw is letting him have the plane which indicates that Geegaw has forgiven him for the Zanzibar incident. Nice payoff on that angle even if it really means nothing in the end. Dale is giddy because it has guns and everything. That just makes the whole gun less Seaduck angle feel so warm and gushy inside. Monty and Chip jump into the front seat as Chip thinks nothing can stop them now from going to Glacier Bay. One small problem: Monty cannot fly to save his life as he claims to have seem it enough times to get the hang of it which is far less than Barney. And of course he pushes the wrong button and the ejection seat pops Monty out of the episode! Or not; just takes a MAN-SIZED bump into a steel switch box. Monty wants a refresher course. He needs a miracle and a shrink; but the shrink is still dealing with Mr. Hardcore on my request so the miracle will have to do.
And of course Gadget screws Monty since she made a few modifications to the plane which includes changing the buttons and installing ejection seats. Now you know who's behind the BS&P for TaleSpin. Chip and Dale feel like this is the end; so Gadget offers to fly the plane. Now you know she is awesome as Chip and Dale just get confused on that announcement. So we cut to the launchpad of aventure as the plane is set up on the waterslide and the seaplane has six sticks of TNT attached to the tail section of the plane. This Gadget gal is really a sadist which somehow makes Kit seem just a little uncool in comparison. And the dynamite is lit just before Gadget admits that she forgot to open the skyline. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is just too funny as the males just cannot believe this female. I can and she's HOT BABEE! Gadget tries to find the switch as we count down to seven and Gadget thinks she found..THE SWITCH...but it's only the windshield wipers. Dale panics like he's her bitch. This is just great; we have a geek who is just padding this episode out and I'm loving it.
This is the ultimate way to waste time in a cartoon: Have some awesome character screw the living crap out of the not awesome characters. It NEVER goes out of style. Thankfully; Gadget remembers that Geegaw was left handed; so it's the golden switch of doom and the skyline opens for the first logic break of the episode. Yeah; I just remembered a similar spot that Bumblelion did to start the engines in order to prevent us from hearing Hoppo sing. The TNT explodes and the Screamin Eagle races up into the sky and then starts flying like a regular plane. Gadget gets Golly #2 of the episode and tells the Rescue Rangers to sit up and they sell. And then she so innocently tells them to duck back down because a large jet plane is headed straight for them. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so loving this Gadget. She is just plain screwing with their minds. I think Professor Buzz stole this whole sequence for Baloo Thunder. I wonder who would win in a sadist contest there?! My money is on Buzz for the awesome tennis racket trap. Sadly; Gadget manages to land the plane on the underbelly of the jet plane (complete with suction cups) as the Rescue Rangers cannot believe that they are still alive.
In fact; hitching a ride on a jet plane was sure genius since it save them air flying time and now they are other Glacier Bay. We know this since they changed into their winter clothes. Normally this would be a logic break; but since the jet plane was important in saving time; I suggest that it is not. Monty blows off Gadget for her lack of warning. Oh sod off you Ozzie stereotype! Dale points down to some strange red propellers on the snow covered ground and Chip calls that a clue. NO?! REALLY?! Gadget proclaims that she is welcoming us to Glacier Bay like a flight attendant and then tries to land the plane on the ice which is 100% bad idea written all over it as Monty praises her flying because even Geegaw wouldn't attempt this without skis and of course Gadget panics because she forgot them. UH OH! The plane skids like Community Transit on Mr. Icy Roads (my tenth biggest pet peeve that I like to blame stuff on by the way.) and the plane clips it's wings against the ice and the plane is crushed and destroyed near some trash cans to end the segment sixteen and a half minutes in. Wow; another long segment without a commercial. Gadget just simply ruled 1989 with an iron fist.
After the commercial break; we do a pan shot towards the left to the trash cans as the plane is completely destroyed. However; since BS&P won't allow main characters to die; they only become Snowmen and Snow women of course. Gadget and Chip stand up; but Dale's head is buried again forcing Chip to pull him out. Dale does the Santa Claus laugh which is so bad even I have to agree with Chip bonking him on the head for that gaffe. Monty still praises Gadget for her skills and Gadget goes all Mr. Hardcore on us because she'll never be as good as her father was. I'm amazed that she can say that she's really depressed because denial of such would be a symptom of said depression. Monty doesn't help the situation as Gadget sheds a tear because Geegaw is a real flyer; but Chip doesn't want a flyer,but an inventor and Gadget is the best one. Gadget agrees to it as she instantly snaps out of her funk She gets out her wrench and even hugs Chip and Dale to start the debate on who should date her. If only Kit was seven years older than that debate would be instantly over; but he's 12 so it's not.
The Rescue Ranger run to get the ruby; but Gadget has a plan of her own to get them there which leaves the Rescue Rangers confused again. Gadget simply rocks my world pre-Kit era as we head to the frozen hanger where Klordane is relaxing on a lawn chair, drinking tea and sunbathing. And Gadget is the sadist in this episode? He complains that the professor isn't trying hard enough to finish which earns a blow off from Professor Ninmul who is using the wrench on the plot device (Read: Laser beam which all DTVA shows use minus Gummi Bears and Wuzzles). Ninmul is a bald red haired annoying science freak with the goofy glasses which is pretty much the only major science stereotype heel wearing one in DTVA. He is voiced by Jim Cummings and somehow he just comes off as whiny and annoying rather than completely insane like he should be. And since he's a freaky geek on the level of Mr. Hardcore he earns a snowball right into the mush. If only Malstrom would do that to Mr. Hardcore; just to see his reaction. The Professor recoils and finally finishes up (wow that was pretty pointless) and it's ready for the ruby. Klordane then reveals his MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. See he wants the ruby so he can power up the Klordane Cannon Laser 13 which so happens to be a tank with a laser on it. I'm sorry; but the Lightning Gun is SO much cooler than this loser.
The professor calls himself Norton so I'll call him by that name as he blows off Klordane because he's the genius. Of what?! Being annoying and whiny?! AHHAHAHAHAHA! Klordane grabs his scarf and reminds him who the boss is around here and the laser would be only a flashlight. Norton takes the hint and recoils. They finally found some use for Klordane; being the guy to put Norton in his place as hopeless freak geek. He gets dropped on his ass along with the CHEST OF DEMONS which is opened to reveal the ruby. Klordane wants this party to roll as we cut to the icy trail as the Rescue Rangers are piloting Gadget's new invention: The Ranger Iceboat. Gadget needs to come up with better names as the babyfaces minus Gadget laugh it up because Klordane is screwed; or something like that. It even goes through snow without any trouble as we cut back to the WHO CARES WHO IT IS laser cannon as Klordane blows off Norton's lack of speed. Thankfully Norton has a better excuse for delaying this time around as he puts the ruby into the calibration machine and then finds the REMOTE CONTROL OF HORSESHOE'S HEEL. Oh come on guys; the antenna is clearly made into a horseshoe and it was RIGHT THERE waiting to be targeted. He pushes the red button and that makes the ruby go in perfect pitch. So we cut back to the Rangers hiding behind a snowbank. Well; I've seen worse hiding places then this so this actually works.
Chip's plan is simple: sneak in and grab the ruby. Monty states the bloody obvious as we see the laser cannon grows legs. Someone's been watching a bit too much Macross lately. Norton is piloting the thing because Klordane just cannot get his hands dirty unless it involves tormenting Donald Drake. Norton gets the laser ready and moves the MACROSS LASER CANNON 13 OF DOOM forward while doing the Moon Landing promo. Proving that the moon landers were not in the business of acting and therefore all of those people who think it is fake are nothing but dirty little Anti-Americans. Okay; maybe not Anti-Americans; but scumbag fits a lot better anyway. The Macross like laser stops and Norton pushes on the pad as the ruby glows inside the machine ala the Sub-Electron Power Amplifier and the laser cuts through the snow as we get to see the awesome powers of the Macross robot bending backwards and still maintaining it's ground. Monty cannot believe this as Norton continues to shoot the laser through the snow much to the delight of Klordane; but he wants to know if it can fly. Norton thinks Klordane is a fool and uncorks his white transmitter laughing as he hits the white button and suddenly the red propellers start turning and they roar like kittens.
The ice splits as the Rescue Rangers are shuddering in fear because the big ass ice block is rising from the grave. I see Rebecca IS taking notes for the Don Rosa written episode. Klordane is loving this as Norton declares that no one will laugh at him again. And just because he said something so stupid; let me be the first to say to him: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Chip and the gang go to the edge and Chip cannot believe that they have risen beyond the grave. Dale of course can only think of snow cones because being dimwitted is his anti-drug I guess. The Macross Laser Cannon 13 drops down and Norton hops out of it as Klordane praises him for his efforts. This gives the Rescue Rangers enough time to sneak in towards the Laser Cannon 13 while Klordane hops onto his helicopter which I assume he'll do another Baloo crank call on Donald Drake before this pilot is over. Norton assures him that the floating glacier will be delivered on time because he's a freaking genius. No wonder Don Rosa went “Meh” after I Only Have Ice For You. Shows just how important characters are when plot lines are being recycled right and left.
He also throws Fat Cat to him because he's smart enough to guard the laser see. Norton takes the blowing off quite well and so does Fat Cat for that matter. Then again; he knows the Rescue Rangers are here anyway and he's not letting that on either. Norton gets too nice with Fat Cat and gets bit on the hand. Sorry Fat Cat; Kit is still cooler than you when it comes to biting as he bit Don on the ass and Emril on the nose. Now phase three of his plan is in effect as he waves goodbye to Norton and the helicopter flies away as Norton walks stage right towards the laser and hugs it as if it's a small child because he's the genius of making it see as the Rescue Rangers climb onto the laser and Norton doesn't like rodents on his laser. He's has the man child syndrome I saw with Baloo; how nice of the writers. We cut over to Fat Cat trying to warm up via the heat lamp on the lawn chair. Maybe you shouldn't have stripped your gangster clothes off back there genius. Norton grabs him and orders him to MURDER those rodents on his laser cannon 13. Fat Cat gets his ass kicked (BOO HISS!) and Fat Cat takes a really good bump onto the snow.
That is pretty much all that Fat Cat has done in this episode actually. Fat Cat blows off Norton for being such an asshole; but then recoil because it's those pesky chipmunk and their mouse and fly sidekick. We then cut to the machine as we get the charming human ladder spot which we all know is going to fail big time. Dale tries to grab the ruby; but Monty gets smoked with a snowball right in the chops. Now that's the spirit Fat Cat! Chip falls down and then Dale takes a snowball right in mid air in a really awesome spot. The chipmunks make Monty their sled (unintentionally of course) and they slide down the ice cube edge. However; they manage to hold on because the ice isn't slippery enough to make them fall off the edge see. Monty climbs up as the chipmunks grab on his tail and Monty whines about it. Again; shut up you Ozzie stereotype and let them climb up. Then we cut to Fat Cat who is about 20 feet away as he blows them off and rolls a snowball down the hill and it gets bigger as it comes within 10 feet of our heroes. The Rescue Rangers gulp in fear as their impending doom MUST WAIT FOR ANOTHER EPISODE as we fade to black at 21:14. If it wasn't for that stupid logic break at the very beginning of the episode; this would have been perfect. Let me just say to Gadget: I'm not worthy! Sadly for her; Kit won't yield to her. **** ¾ (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I've already explained Gadget throughout this rant so I won't repeat myself here. As for the episode itself; it was well written for the most part; with only a really annoying logic break at the beginning which screwed up the finish from part two and of course Professor Ninmul's annoying presence really didn't help either. I just cannot stand this guy; he's annoying and whiny. He's basically a complete dork who is merely evil and doesn't have the insanity that I would expect from a genius. Still; I'll give props to the writers for keeping him in check by finally using Klordane for something good. Fat Cat wasn't much; but he did get a few good spots and bumps in as this was basically the Gadget show from the ten minute mark on; with the rest going to Monty acting like a tough idiot. The animation was dead perfect as well which shows why Sun Woo shouldn't have got near DTVA at all. And Donald Drake really got over on me for acting a little nutty when he threw the phone at Spinelli's head and even swore to God that he'll kill Klordane. He is now the second character to take God's name in vain for real. Still; Laser Cannon 13 sucks like crap despite the nice Macross moves. If Don Karnage was using it; then it would have worked better because he's completely insane. Oh well; cannot win them all I guess. Now we move on to the final two parts which should be downhill from there unless Gadget really carries the episodes on her back like only she can. So....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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