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Dirty Rotten Diapers
Reviewed: 11/09/2008
Trash The Censors!!
And yes; that caption plays an important part as you will see. This is one of the infamous episodes where somehow the Disney execs got panicky over this entire episode and told Post Production to edit it on it's second airing when the show went into reruns. Sadly; the DVD is second run so the edits are there. Ironically; it was pointless as you will see. Just for fun; I'll just ignore that it is edited until the Review Line and see if you can spot the moments where Disney edited the episode. So; let's rant on shall we....?
This episode is written by Dev Ross, Ken Koonce and David Wiemers. The story is edited by Ken Koonce and David Wiemers. The animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan of course just to add to the surrealness.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Read: Rescue Ranger Headquarters on the far shot) as we got birds chirping and we head inside where we see the male Rescue Rangers wearing enough bandages that it looks like they are auditioning for the mummy role for In Search of Ancient Blunders. Apparently; this case was so violent; everyone is slightly injured. So Gadget enters the living room with the ice cube and places it on Monty's head and then blows them off for liking the violence that happened in this show. I wonder if Peggy Charmon and Gadget were...nah; Peggy hates anthros because it gives children fake role models even though the fake role models are better than the real ones of today. And please don't get me started on Sarah Palin. I do not want to talk about her in any context ever again. And since Gadget is female; she escapes with zero injuries whatsoever. BS&P RULEZ! Monty answers that one because his mouth isn't hurt. Well; that is good to know as Gadget gets off Golly #1 barely 20 seconds in which I suspect is a new record for her. And she looks like Miss Cunningham as she doesn't know who won or who lost. I know; the loser is already dead as a doornail. That's why they are seriously injured. Well; as seriously injured as DTVA would allow which isn't much. Gadget is fed up with all the violence in her life (Kit: YAY! Someone who UNDERSTANDS ME!) and wants a kinder approach to stopping crime. Why didn't Gosalyn call Gadget love for some pointers instead of Nintendo. Monty doesn't like this because that would take all the fun out of fighting. Memo to Monty: That is what violent video games are for. So you can be violent in a fake world; while being kind and gentle in the real world. Although; that is Mr. Hardcore's vision so take that with a barrel of salt.
Zipper touches Monty and that hurts his shoulder. Man; either the roids are getting to Zipper; or Monty is overselling the injuries here. I'm betting on the later just to annoy me; hoping for the former just to amuse me. Gadget gleefully blows it off because fighting isn't fun. Geez Gadget; ruin professional wrestling for me why don't you?! It's not like Vinnie Mac already has. Monty gets Gadget's last resort which with her around really means; last rights as Zipper giggles on Monty's response to it. Gadget asks them to give it a try and with innocent sadist Gadget around; that is like inviting death; but since Gadget is their friend; they cannot say no. Gadget then thanks Chip for seeing it her way and kisses Chip on the cheek which ticks off Dale and he butts in because he sees it her way too. Chip gets mad and it's C&D Argument #550 as Chip proclaims that Dale doesn't know a plugged nickel about being kind and gentle. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological Projection much there Chip?! See; they are back to normal as they should be. And that leads to round four of the BUBBLE BATH WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT~! This would be the roll on the ground like two playground kids version. Gadget claims that they need a little practice. Well; that's understating the point a wee bit there huh Gadget love?! So we head to the park as the kids and adults do various human things in the park that don't involves sex, drugs, profanity and other petty crimes as we pan over to the base of the tree where the Rangers are standing.
See; Gadget's plan (and since she's AWESOME she and Dale along with Kit are immune from the MIMI JOKE ZONE) is to focus on little crimes to be kind and gentle and then work on up. Zipper gasps in horror for whatever reason. Zipper looks around as he slurps and sees a man wearing work clothes for the office on a bench near a trash can peeling a banana.. Hmmm...banana...SLURP!! Zipper goes over and then the men tosses the peel right into Zipper and they go down right into the ground. I guess littering is a small enough crime so let's start with that one. Zipper pops from the peel and shakes his fist in anger. We cut back to the Rangers as Chip and Dale protest this outrage because littering is against the law. Monty gets off too right #2 for the episode and wants to trash that litterbug. Remember that line for later since it becomes important. Monty rolls up his sleeves and tries to blitz; but Gadget stops him by getting in front of him because violence is so sick and wrong. I'm on Gadget's side here; I don't see the point of beating the crap out of a litterbug. Besides; it sounds like a complete mismatch to me and it only makes Monty look like a stinkin coward. Monty calls Gadget a party pooper and I want to beat the crap out of Monty for saying that to defend Gadget's honor; but Gadget will likely stop me from doing it too. Chip is the real party pooper anyway since Gadget is merely a sadist who doesn't know she is.
Gadget asks the gang if there is a civilized way of stopping him. I have one: Just put the banana peel in the trash can and forget about it. The worse the guy is going to get is a $500 fine and he could probably pay for it now. Chip does the Gruffi pose just to annoy me and they don't know. HAHA! See; the male Rangers only know that violence gets results as demonstrated in the past 23 episodes or so and Gadget's way is pretty wussy and it's the male=violent, female=not-violent stereotype (Dev Ross is writing this one too by the way). Still; seeing Gadget screw with them in funny and painful ways is cute so I'll let her do it. And of course Monty rolls up the sleeves again because the old-fashion way is best. Thankfully; Chip has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and Monty doesn't like it one bit. So we return back to the park bench where the litterbug man is unwrapping another piece of food and dropping it on the ground which has about 30 pieces of trash by now.
Man; how does this guy eat and STILL keep that figure of his? Methinks the guy has either a stunt double; or during that scene, his wife is Hoppo. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... And so the trash can get pulled by the obvious pully in the background as we see the Rangers up a tree and Chip asks Zipper to let it tip. So Zipper pushes on the black lever (WRONG LEVER!) with great effort as the iron (oh the irony?!) drops down and the trash in the can falls down on the litterbug man. Okay; that was sort of less violent. And that is enough to attract a crowd as they blow off the man for throwing trash all over the place as if the thirty pieces or so of trash on the ground should have already DONE THAT. The litterbug goes rapid and picks up all the trash and then walks away as the Rangers laugh at his expense, even Gadget. Gadget thanks Chip for not hurting anyone which is false because he hurt Dale's feelings since he gets a gold star on the clipboard. Oh; that is so teacher like of her. He also gets another kiss which Chip responds with a look which is like “Up yours Dale!” kind of way. Dale doesn't like that response; but decides not to respond in a bad way.
So we head on a sub-urban trip through the streets on the Ranger Wing as Dale complains that Chip has got five gold stars while Dale, Zipper and Monty are a bunch of DUDs. Well; maybe Dale should stop taking sage advice from Monty since we all know his stories are BS anyway. Monty doesn't worry because there is a robbery taking place as we pan down to a house as two fat ladies jump out of the windows with the sacks. Gadget calls this the biggest test to date. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The Ranger Wing flies down and lands somewhere where we don't see as we cut down to ground level in front of the house as the Ranger hide behind the grass. And I see Chip is already mocking Dale's lack of gentleness as he asks for his plan to stop the crooks in a non-violent way. Dale states that he could have one even if he had to bang his head against the wall. Okay; and Monty: He still wants to be violent as he wants to rush them and crush them. It's not only violent; it pisses off anime purists because it violates ANIME CONDUCT RULE #12: Thou Shalt Rhyme (Because it's COOL!). Gadget gives the mean look to stop that silliness as Monty is forced to recoil. His STF move is lamer than Erik Watts which shows that no matter how much Bill Watts' kid sucks; Monty can outclass him in suckiness. Chip has another brilliant idea as we pan over to the trucks. We know this because they are in heelish colors of black and gray.
We pan down to the tires as Monty goes over and does the TWO FINGERS STOP A MACH TRUCK OF DOOM which Nester would later steal for Nintendo Power. If only Howard Phillips had stolen Dale's bow tie camera move; then maybe Nester wouldn't secretly hate him many years later. Zipper joins in for fun as Gadget is HAPPY because Chip is a practical perfect pacifist which is the first time I have heard that word on DTVA. I think we all know what Releena Peacecraft was watching and apparently she stopped watching up to this point. Chip thanks him as he mocks Dale for not using his head. Well; he would if Gadget hadn't stopped him from banging his head against the wall. And then Dale really annoys me because he's doing the Gruffi pose now. Dale rolls up his sleeves and wants to MURDER Chip now; but the door opens in the log house and out come the Ugly Betty Twins stealing more stuff and going out the front door. These ladies must be packing some secret heat if they are robbing houses in broad daylight. Monrovia is the far red haired chick wearing blue and stealing board games and a rug; while the pink lady steals the keys to a car and the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM. Even in being criminal thieves; they are stereotypically female. They stuff the goods into the back of the white pickup truck which wasn't deflated because white=babyface see. D'OH!
The robbers speed away as the smokescreen plagues the Rangers. When the smoke clears; Dale blows off Chip and then bonks HIM on the head. Wow; that's the first time Dale has done that if you don't count the opening. Chip is PISSED OFF on THAT one as Gadget stops the fun because the Rangers are forced to bail. So we go to a couple pushing a stroller with a baby wearing blue PJ's and has such a fake red nose that it's clear that he's the heel for the episode. See; I can tell who's a heel just by hyper-referencing their facial features; just like that Chinese animator who claimed that green eyes=EVIL! Gadget pops out and gets off Golly #2 six minutes in; calling it terrible. To whom: You for saying Golly; the couple for being robbed; or for Chip screwing up?! And of course they have been robbed as we look inside the house and there is NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING in the house. The blue shirt wearing man is Harold as the lady panics because even the fridge is gone. Considering the figures; I don't think that is a huge loss.
But they still have the cupboards though as apparently; the thieves at WD-Japan stole the baby's PJ's and he's in diapers on the next shot! Logic break #1 for the episode right there (and Tanka missed THAT one) as the lady sobs wondering what to do. We then see Harold admitting that they cannot afford to replace these thing as the phone rings somehow (I thought that was stolen) as we cut back to the Rangers listening on as Harold has a phone call from the adoption agency. Funny error: Disney Caption calls him Father despite clearly being addressed as Harold ten seconds ago. The couple strolls out of the house with the baby as they are to see the adoption agency about the robbery. How do they know about this?! Even the Rangers are as confused as I am. Chip doesn't care because this is a job for the Rescue Rangers. So the Rangers run stage right and that logically leads to....
The fake adoption agency (check the stork sign with a baby on a white cloth) which so happens to be a small building that looks like a cafe. Also; Disney Captions states that it's Monrovia talking who was one of the heels who was stealing stuff from their house. The Rangers climbs onto the window near a pipe as we cut to inside as the two heels from the robbery are dressed up as clerks now proclaiming that they should leave their baby with some other folks for one night while they buy a crib. Harold and the wife along with the baby covered in a pink covering wonder if the sister and brother-in-law would do. They agree to it as long as they are rich as Pomona speaks and Monrovia blows her off because that would BLOW THEIR COVER SEE. Dale thinks this is a wee bit familiar to him and he accuses them of being the robber. Wow! He actually used his head and it didn't come up empty. This is a special day indeed! Chip agrees that they are using the baby in a robbery scam as Gadget proclaim that they need to save the baby before her aunt and uncle get robbed too. Umm; don't you mean sister and brother-in-law Gadget?! They haven't even mentioned aunt and uncle yet. I've got a feeling something is a miss with this episode otherwise it comes off as a logic break #2.
Spongebob Narrator: Six hours later....
We head to the fake adoption agency AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After Dark) as Monty is asleep on the window still and Gadget is forced to wake him up because the aunt and uncle has arrived to pick up the baby. Monty blows him off because Gadget is accusing him of touching the cheese as we cut to inside as Pomona and Monrovia greet the aunt and uncle (The aunt has a blue dress and a poka dot ribbon in her blond hair while the uncle is wearing a green sweater with brown pants. Hmm; come to think about it; minus the light green neck; he looks like a fat human version of Kit Cloudkicker) and tell them to take good care of the baby. Oh and the baby's name is Thaddeus which is a heel name if I ever heard one as the uncle proclaims that they'll give their nephew the very, very best. Okay; that makes sense I guess. The female heels giggle and are sure that they will as the couple walks outside and gets into their blue car as the Rangers get onto the back bumper of the car while Pomona and Monrovia wave goodbye to the car and their belongings inside their house. So we logically lead to a white house inside the suburban part of the city as we cut to inside the baby's bedroom as we get a shot of a lamp with the Rangers inside the shade of it with only their shadows showing. We then pan over to the crib where the aunt places Thaddeus on the bed and they say good night with a tickle, a bottle of milk, a blue cover and a kiss. Now that is just cute as the couple walks away and turns off the lights. The lights go out and the place isn't dark enough as the Rangers pop from the lamp shade and Gadget is relived as Monty whines about wanting to fight some real crimes.
Gadget states that it will happen soon because the crooks from the adoption agency will show up soon enough. We then cut back to Thaddeus so throws away the baby bottle and climbs out of the crib which panics Chip as they will have to keep an eye on the baby in the meantime. Judging by the baby's face; I'd say that he's in on the scam in more ways than one. The baby waddles down the hallway as the parents in the living room do their adults things that don't involve sex and drugs without suspecting a thing. Thaddeus waddles into the bathroom and turns on the lights. He grabs onto the sink and climbs up. The Rangers follow and gasp in horror as Thaddeus has opened the medicine cabinet. Gadget proclaims that they have to stop him. NO?! REALLY?! Dale panics because it's too late as Thaddeus sprays shaving cream on his face and he's gone rabid. Dale tries to run away because it's the REVENGE OF THE MAD BABY! HAHA! Dale runs around in a circle like a dummy and Chip bonks him on the head as per in his contract and even pulls on his even just to be more mean than Dale after he bonked Chip on the head. See; make the joke and pay it off. Dale calls him Mr. Smarty Pants. I would call him Laffy Pants since that would be irony since Chip isn't wearing any and Chip blows him off because he's shaving.
And of course they gasp in horror as we see Thaddeus with the razor in which Dale screams in horror. I shudder to think how Dale would react when I do it since my shaving is a horror show in and around itself. They run inside to save him before he bleeds (BS&P RULEZ!) as the Rangers use Monty as the middle of a brush see-saw. About damn time they used Monty for something other than his big fat mouth. POW! OUCH! Ummm.....Chip is on the brush end as Dale jumps off and nails the tail end which pushes Chip up and he lands on top of the sink cupboard. I thought the sink was originally just a sink without the cupboard. I guess I was seeing things. Then again; you would think that Thaddeus shaving would indicate that something is a miss here; but the episode is only nine minutes in so I can see why they are so dumb. Chip tries to sweet talk him into giving the razor (well; it IS a baby so violence is a no-no); but the baby counters with the razor which misses by a mile; but the power of suggestion is so overwhelming that Chip falls off the sink and lands on his ass. HAHA! Chip is angry and wants to fight; but Gadget stops him and she is surprised at him because he wants to invoke violence on a little baby which allows Dale to annoy me with his tsking and amuse me with his mocking. Chip mocks him and dares Dale to come up with a better idea. Dale runs to the seesaw brush and gets on the brush end because he has a special knack for babies. Well; he did put up with a baby in a previous episode in the Volume One DVD so it makes perfect sense to me.
So we try again only with Dale this time as Thaddeus does such a poor job shaving since the cream is still intact on his face. Damn dull razor! Dale sneaks up and invokes the yellow rattle (complete with clown face on top) and shakes it. Remember that for later on as the baby takes the rattle and then MURDERS Dale with it! HAHA! Dale staggers like a drunk on acid and then freefalls off the sink and somehow the baby catches him despite having no shaving cream and he's on ground level instead of sink level. Logic break #3 for the episode as Thaddeus walks out of the bathroom as Gadget pleads for them to save Dale. Why?! Dale actually succeeded in getting the baby off the sink and stopping him from shaving. I would say he gets two gold stars for that; unless Gadget has a bias she's not telling us. Wink, wink, nudge nudge!
That leads to the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BABEE EDITION~! It ends quickly as we cut to a heat vent and Thaddeus opens it and throws Dale right down the chute. Oh yeah; that's not EVIL and heelish in the very least no siree! Thaddeus runs away as the Rangers go to the heat vent to tell Dale that they'll save him; but Thaddeus returns quickly (D'OH!) and he has an evil look on his kisser as he opens the heat vent and kicks the remaining Rangers into it! We cut to inside the heating vent as the Rangers take wussy bumps onto the metal floor. Gadget proclaims them not to worry because as long as Thaddeus don't figure out how to turn the thermostat on; they are safe. And what happens; we cut to Thaddeus tipping on a wooden stool near the thermostat and he sets it to high. HAHA! Monty calls the baby a fast learner as the heat is up and it's red all over the scene inside as the Rangers are ready to be fired to end the segment ten minutes in....
After the commercial break; we return to the heating vent as Chip calls themselves chipmunks roasting on an open fire. Well; what about the mice..ummm...mouse and blue bottle fl Chip?! Aren't they important?! Well; the Aussie Stereotype can burn in hell for all I care. Dale screams right on cue because he's too young to be roasted. Okay; that at least makes sense as Gadget invokes her paperclip (They still never explain how Gadget KEEPS THIS STUFF?!) as she proclaims that Monty is losing weight as Monty panics because she should have less cheeriness and more speed. If he's talking about drugs; I like cheeriness. She is not called an innocent sadist by me for no reason. Monty comes over as Gadget cannot lift the lever (WRONG LEVER!) inside so Monty grabs the paperclip; turns it into a rod and whacks at the coils. Yeah; like that will not create a fire inside and somehow it doesn't as the heat is gone from the heat vent along with Gadget's heat. Of course; Monty's heat wasn't there to begin with. At least Dale's heat is safe for now. Don't know about Chip and Zipper though. Monty proclaims that violence doesn't count on a heater. Okay; what kind of logic is that?! That's like saying that pushing a button on a joystick that causes the knight to slay the dragon isn't a violent act. Jack Thompson said that in doublespeak so it must be true. Oh wait; I said his dreadful name so it isn't true.
The gang runs up the heater and we cut to the floor in the hallway as Thaddeus waddles away. The floor vent opens and out pops the Rangers who go after Thaddeus. Monty is last up and he blows off Gadget because he's a Ranger who swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (bloomin baby-sitter) about babysitting. Kit: Oh shut up you Aussie Stereotype! I had to deal with Molly Cunningham who does the same thing every time I babysit her...and she's not EVIL like Thaddeus which just makes the experience even more painful. Gregory: Amen Kit, AMEN! Ahem...back to the last rant of Volume 2. Gadget gleefully blows off Monty for me before walking off and Monty counters with since when..Since now actually you Aussie Stereotype! We head into the kitchen and the Rangers minus Monty panic because Thaddeus is in the fridge looking for din-din. He throws the veggies out which has got to break Heather Sanderson's heart...or not. Chip & Dale try to run in; but Monty grabs them from behind to stop them. I REALLY HATE that Aussie Stereotype ruining my fun here. Chip asks how they can get him back into his crib without having to drag him by his dirty diaper. Remember that one for later as Gadget has an idea and it's to get his attention and follow them back into the nursery. Hey; if her plans involve sadistic silliness like that then I'm game even though the end result will be pain and suffering for Chip, Dale and Zipper.
Monty will suffer but I don't give a crap about him so there you go. Gadget grabs Dale by the arm and bails and thus shoots my theory of bias down quicker than Rhinokey's comedy career. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Chip and Monty decide to keep their eyes on Thaddeus along with Zipper who hasn't done anything yet; let alone anything awesome like tripping three human heels with his leg. So we get the scene changer and we get Gadget and Dale dressed up as Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man; that has to be Gadget most sadistic idea yet and the real fun of this episode hasn't even begun yet. Wonder what Gadget did to convince Dale to wear that thing? Monty casually does the Gruffi pose to annoy me before blowing them off because it would get them a spot on The Gong Show (the show where they gong the worst shows in television shows history). I'm beginning to hate this non-violence tactic from Gadget. Not because it's a bad idea; but because I want to commit violence on that ungrateful, heat less, crappy Aussie Stereotype! I think I have all the bases covered here. I'm amazed Chip isn't laughing his ass off seeing this; at least that is sort of non-violent. We then see Raggedy Dale and Raggedy Gadget skip to their lou doing such cute spots that my manly card may have to be filled just to get away from this. Thaddeus is eating chocolate cake and then laughs in such an unconvincing matter that it's clear that he's an EVIL FAKE BABY in on the scam. Gadget thinks it's working as he stops eating chocolate and Thaddeus throws a tomato and it MURDERS Raggedy Gadget!! HOLY FREAKIN CRAP?! I thought that sort of violence was a no-no on DTVA. I guess the doll disguise makes Gadget gender neutral.
Dale then gets MURDERED by an egg and both bumps are MAN-SIZED BABEE! This episode just keeps getting better and better. Thaddeus grabs the soda and opens it to spray on the doll rodents as they get swept away in the maelstrom. HAHA! They fly out the dog door which is the sign for the dog to bark and it does on cue as Gadget and Dale run back inside and then get MURDERED when they run right into the frying pan! HAHA! I'm amazed they didn't go flat or we would have all the bases covered on main characters auditioning for DARKWING...DUCK. Dale proclaims that he knows how a cracked walnut feels as their faces get normalized. Okay Dale; that was more disturbing than you had intended. The other Rangers run in and Thaddeus uses the frying pan to nab them and then opens the oven and throws them into in; remembering to slam the door. So; it's all right to throw rodents in an oven; but not humans. Okay; I get BS&P now. Oh; wait; it's the Dishwasher, my mistake as Thaddeus turns it on and leaves just as Zipper arrives. I guess he escaped as he attempts to turn off the machine but no dice. We cut to inside as the Rangers hide inside the dishes trying to prevent being drowned by the water maelstrom inside the machine. Gadget gurgles as she calls for patience since the baby is going through his terrible twos. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic as Monty calls this case all washed up. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
Spongebob Narrator: Two hours later.....
We head outside as the dishwasher door opens up and they are out as Gadget calls this not so bad. HEE HEE! I mean; Dale and Gadget were able to keep their clothes on during the whole thing without any shrinkage whatsoever. Monty climbs down and shakes his fist in outrage because Gadget has flipped her lid. As opposed to the last 23 episodes or so Monty?! And Monty storms out because he quits this case. Good; the Aussie Stereotype was dragging this episode down anyway. However; Zipper hates me because he attempts to stop the Aussie Stereotype from leaving. Monty doesn't care if the baby is playing with a gun and the Rangers panic and head into the living room as we see Thaddeus on the telephone talking to some girls on a phone sex line. Where's Peggy Charmon when we REALLY NEED HER?! Oh; and the baby can talk so now we know the baby is a fake. As if the bad nose didn't give it away already. He is really calling the fake adoption agency as he is having rodent problems; but the place is loaded with goodies and he even twirls a pistol in his hand!! HOLY CRAP?! If Toon Disney doesn't cut this out; then my theory of TaleSpin being downplayed will be cemented for good and therefore Eisner hates TaleSpin for it's drama.
Dale finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as Chip realizes that it's a pint-sized crook and he's in on the robberies. Monty rolls up his sleeves for the fourth time in this episode alone because he wants to put the baby behind real prison bars and not crib bars. What's the difference between real prison and house arrest?! One feels like home. Gadget stops him because this is the biggest test to show that they can solve a case without real violence. Umm; Gadget love, the baby is CARRYING A FREAKIN GUN?! You expect to reason with a baby who has a gun?! That is like inviting death. GregX would have a FIELD DAY with Gadget here. Monty then completely insults Gandhi! WOW! I didn't expect the writers to take a swipe of him on children's television here. I would be SHOCKED if Toon Disney kept that line. The chipmunks promise not to resort to fists as Zipper whispers in Gadget's ear and Gadget calls it good thinking. Like I can understand what the heck that blue bottle fly is saying 90% of the time. They decide to wake up the human so they can call the police when they see the crooks.
I don't see this plan working as we cut to inside the bedroom of the aunt and uncle sleeping in their bed (with the aunt wearing a purple blindfold which scares me for some odd reason) as the Rangers climb onto the bed. Monty yells at the uncle calling him Sleeping Beauty. Yeah sure; as beautiful as you Aussie Stereotype! Uncle no sells (YAY!) as Monty calls for a group effort and all of the Rangers jump and down and yell for them to wake up. They no-sell until Zipper does the smart thing: Take the purple blindfold and snap it back into her eyes to wake her up officially. Bobby Heenan would be proud of something like that. The parents wake up and leave the bedroom as we cut back to Thaddeus with packed heat still in his hand as he puts the phone down and tells the adult heels to come to the house quickly. He waddles into his room and climbs back into his crib; remembering to hide the pistol at the last moment and sleeps. The parents walk in and notices nothing is wrong in particular despite the evil look in Thaddeus' eye. The uncle pets him on the head and then walks out; not noticing Thaddeus pumping his fist in outrage over the spot. That is one mean baby BABEE! He closes the door as Monty blows Gadget off for her bright idea. Huh?! It was ZIPPER'S IDEA to begin with you Aussie Stereotype!
Now he's just finding ways to piss me off for the sake of it. Chip and the gang run out of the room as Chip's idea is to trip the alarm and Gadget thinks this is a wonderful idea too. So it's Zipper's job to make up for his bad idea as he salutes Gadget and flies to the alarm . He pushes the 1-12 button #7 (Why do you ask? I don't know. I just like making up stuff to amuse me.) and the others; but no dice. Sadly; Zipper flies up and notices the alarm wires have been cut. D'OH! Monty blows him off as he proclaims that the kid has thought of everything. Sounds like Kit to me as he does the Gruffi pose AGAIN! For goodness sakes guys; STOP DOING THAT ANNOYING SPOT! Gadget isn't done yet as she orders the Rangers to follow her as they run to the telephone as we go there and see Dale jumping feet first into the buttons to dial 911. The other Rangers have the phone itself and that logically leads to. Inside Spinelli's office as he picks up the phone and answers it.
Apparently; he is Sergeant Spinelli which methinks he got a promotion or something. Maybe I'm getting mixed up here and he hears nothing but chatter on the phone. So THAT'S why humans cannot understand them; they talk like animals according to the HUMANS state of mind. HAHA! Gadget is so screwed now that nothing short of violence will help her now. The Rangers realized how screwed they are as they hear a lock picking going on and then they head to the door as Thaddeus opens the door and here come THE SLUT ROBBERS~! Seriously; they even have the line where the breasts separate from each other and those were painted out by 4Kids in anime. Oh and you can call them SLUTS WITH CLUBS too. This is going to be ugly for Gadget now as Thaddeus is glad to see them; but wants them to do something about his rodent problem as the Rangers are so (insert swear word hear). That leads to the Scooby Doo Chase Sequence The Sluts With Clubs Edition~! I cannot believe I just typed that! Thankfully; they cut away before the real damage can be done as the segment ends fifteen and a half minutes in.
..AND NOW FOR THE REAL FUN PART KIDDIES!!
After the commercial break; we get the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM again as we head inside as we see the male Rangers once again injured to the bone and it's the EXACT SAME INJURIES AS IN THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE! HAHA! Those sluts must be mind readers. Gadget of course is female and she is not injured; but she is PISSED...and I don't mean REALLY PISSED...I mean..I WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE PISSED! Oh wait; her tail was broken on the end; my mistake. Time to get the ball rolling on the fun; starting with this gem sequence from Gadget....
Gadget: Well; I say we kindly go back to that house; gently go inside and then DRAG THE IMPOSTER OUT BY HIS DIRTY ROTTEN DIAPERS!! {The chipmunks gasp in horror over THAT one!} I'VE HAD IT! NO MORE WIMPING OUT! LET'S SHAKE THE CROOK TILL HE RATTLES!
HOLY CRAP?! They must have peed on Gadget to make her that mad. Up to this point; we have seen Gadget act all innocent when she does something that is pretty sadistic. However; this is the first episode where she's sadistic and she saying WHAT SHE REALLY FEELS ABOUT IT! That is so awesome! Chip has a better idea as he wants to expose the phony adoption agency to the police which is what they should have done from the start; but I don't care because Gadget is so PISSED OFF right now. Awesome moment #2: Chip asks Dale to get some twine and Dale asks if it's to tie up the baby which is pretty sadistic in itself; but Chip wants to use it to tie up Gadget because she has blown a gasket as we see Gadget growl in such a pissed off matter that I'm cheering for her to MURDER someone for real. So we logically don't see Gadget tied up as we are in the Ranger Wing and Gadget is still flying it in the skies. Oh well; better luck next time Chip. Gadget still looks mad as Zipper points out the Sluts Without Clubs heading into the fake adoption agency building and the Rangers land right onto the roof of the building which has a glass window on top.
The Rangers jump off and look down on the window so they can see what the heels are up to and put them out of business as they say. We cut down to the office where the sluts are with Thaddeus (who is wearing the same formal gear Elmer Fudd usually wears due to the circle head of Thaddeus) as Thaddeus proclaims that the operation is closed because he's got a bigger fish to fry so to speak. See; there is a childless couple in town and they are the richest in town. So the sluts are going to put Baby Thaddeus (who changes into his baby clothes and lies down in the cute baby carriage) on the doopstep of the couple and then they'll rob the place blind and they are set for life due to that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! I guess the stuff they stole wasn't priced high enough to pawn off. The sluts squeal with glee as Thaddeus invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH and it is off to the Hancock Estate. Or on Planet Wuz: The HamCock Estate. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! The sluts leave the office with baby carriage in tow as we pan up to the Rangers as Monty proclaims that the bum and the babes have upped the ante. Chip declares that they need to stop him as they walk to the Ranger Wing and Gadget is more pissed off by the second. Gadget Quote Mine Gem #2....
Gadget: He's about to meet his worse nightmare!
If you think Gadget was a sadist when she was acting innocent and all; imagine her now when she's NOT acting?! Anyhow; we get the scene changer and head to the rich snob's house (complete with iron gate as I swear that house looks familiar...Out of Scale perchance?!) as we see Gadget and Monty pushing a basket which contains Chip & Dale sleeping inside of it like babies. Okay; this is getting way too silly now as Chip asks Zipper to do his thing. Zipper salutes him and zooms up to the doorbell on the left side of the door and rings the doorbell. Since this is not Rhinokey's house; nothing silly happens to Zipper. Zipper and the mice bail as the mother of the house (wearing a gray skirt, gray dress and has red hair arrives and sees a basket of chipmunks dressed up. She brings the basket in and then reads the letters while standing in front of her husband who is in the living room sitting on a blue loveseat with a pink pillow. The husband reminds her that they don't own any children. Isn't that a little like slavery there sir?! Don't you mean; HAVE any children?! I think someone should do a background check on this papa if you catch my drift. Anyhow; they are to give the chipmunks a good home for children to play with as the doorbell rings again and the parents leave the basket on the desk and open the door to find the baby carriage with a blue ribbon tied on top of it...and Baby Thaddeus cooing at them on cue.
The mother flicks at the toes in a cute spot as the father opens the letter and reads that they should take good care of Baby Thaddeus. The father is happy but he cannot keep an abandoned child and wants to give him to the police. For once I want this family to be stupid; and the dad GROWS a brain?! Methinks he IS hiding something we aren't supposed to know. Thaddeus sees Monty and Gadget though; so he bawls like a sooky baby and it's not half as funny as when Mr. Hardcore does it. Dada grabs the carriage and shakes it to calm him down and the baby calls him Dada. Dada decides to finally become stupid (YAY!) and they agree to keep him for a little while as they close the double doors and head inside. So we cut to inside the baby's bedroom (which contains a bear rug which I bet will be used at some point) as the stupid (YAY!) family walks in with the baby carriage and they put the carriage in the crib as the mother comments about having a spare nursery coming in handy. NO?! REALLY?! Dada proclaims that Thaddeus now plays with his chipmunks like a good little boy as we cut to crib level to see Chip and Dale on their bellies in the basket waving at Thaddeus. Oh; this should be good. The parents close the door and Thaddeus drops the pjs for no good reason other than to be naked plus diaper and he finds the blue bat. I guess the wooden one is still in Rhinokey's house with Hoppo. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Anyhow; the chipmunks bail screaming DUH! The Rangers head to the window as Chip climbs up the rope and onto the window and flips..THE SWITCH! He climbs down and Monty pulls the window up as Gadget enters and she starts rolling her sleeves because she wants to MURDER THAT BABEE! I am so loving this as Chip asks the Rangers to hose her down. Okay; that is a little obscene if you ask me Chipper as he wants the police. Monty agrees because Thaddeus is about to commit assault and battery which complete the hat trick of assault and battery from the heels since the sluts have already done their MURDERING WITH CLUBS. The Rangers bail in different directions as Thaddeus just misses them by inches. Gadget and Chip climb down the rope on the pink drapes indicating a girl's bedroom which explains Thaddeus's like for blue bats I guess. They go to floor level as Chip hides into the mouth of the bearskin rug. Damn; I knew that would get involved somehow. Thaddeus arrives and starts stomping on the bears' head. If TaleSpin existed; I would like to see Kit Cloudkicker full of piss and vinegar on a certain Mr. Stones if you catch my drift. Monty orders the other Rangers to pull the rug from under him and they run in as they take the tail end of the rug and pull the rug under Thaddeus and Thaddeus flies and takes a rather sick bump head first right into the golden urn which is so symbolic because Gadget would love to cremate him and place his remains as ashes inside of it at this point. Thaddeus tries to pull the urn from his head but no dice as Monty opens the bears' mouth and Chip staggers and it's No More Mr. Nice City as Chip sounds like an absolute drunk..and almost looks like it. And Chip suggests doing it Gadget's way. Monty asks how they should do it and Gadget responds with this gem...
Gadget: TRASH THE BUM!!
The male Rangers slap some skin at last because Gadget finally understands that violence equals results and that also means that the promise is off. Even though Gadget pretty much stopped believing in non-violence about five minutes ago. So we cut to inside the green hallway as we pan over to Thaddeus on the phone calling for Monrovia and Pomona Slut that they hit the jackpot. No relation as Buster and Babs would say. He tells them to get their nylons on and get over here as the lady comes for Thaddeus because it's din-din time. Thaddeus hangs up the phone and waddles quickly back into the baby's bedroom and climbs back into the crib with the baby rattle that Dale used earlier in the episode. I guess the Sluts With Clubs stole that one too. The mother comes in with baby food and milk bottle on a tray and sets it on the baby high chair tray. She grabs the baby and sits him in the baby high chair seat and starts feeding him pureed liver much to Thaddeus' disdain. Who needs violence when liver will make that heel suffer?! The Rangers enter with the paperclip grappling hook rope as they tell someone to be quiet (probably Dale knowing him) and they climb up on the baby high chair. They get behind Thaddeus and hook the safety pin onto Thaddeus' dirty rotten diaper. See; make the joke and then pay it off. Why didn't Eric Lewald do that in When Mice Were Men with the bull and lemons; I'll never know.
This of course lead to the rope leading to on top of the chimney as the rope is attached to the Ranger Wing. Monty calls this Operation Brat Buster and the tug on the rope is the signal for Thaddeus to get shaken until he rattles! Gadget puts on her seat belt and orders Monty to light the retro rockets. Monty magically finds a match in probably the same way Gadget finds all her other items when it's impossible for her to HAVE THEM and strikes it. (Toon Disney cut commencing) He lights the dynamite on both sides of the Ranger Wing and it's blast off time! The Ranger Wing flies away with the rope as Monty orders Zipper to trip the alarm which is pointless since Thaddeus probably already cut the wires like he did in the previous house. Zipper salutes him and flies into the house as we see Thaddeus and the high chair fly backwards much to the shock of the lady and Thaddeus calls the chipmunks a bunch of dirty rats. If it was Gadget and Monty doing this; that spot would have been so funny; but it's still funny in an ironic sort of way. Zipper goes to the alarm and pushes the buttons rapidly as we cut to the police car with Kirby and Muldoon as the crack female voice reappears to inform them that a robbery is taking place at 524 Hancock Place. Sadly; no funny crack afterward since DARKWING...DUCK doesn't exist for another 18 months at least.
We then see the police car turn around and drive back towards the suburbs as we cut back to the hallway as Dada gets CLOBBERED by the flying high chair! HAHA! I was waiting for that spot to happen as we then cut to Thaddeus taking a sick MAN-SIZED bump into the wooden door remembering to do the annoying Scooby Doo Snow Angel Spot on it. As long as it only happens once; that's fine by me. Thaddeus flies around the house destroying all china, and taking some really sicks bumps on the stairs and the windows. OUCH! I think Gadget has taken things too fa....Nah! We cut to in front of the house as a purple car arrives and out comes the Sluts Without Clubs~! This girls think way too small as they enter the house and see the rope as they stupidity walk into the flying Thaddeus and get nailed. The fun finally stopped as they get MURDERED by the dead end wall which contains the GONG OF DEATH! HAHA! Again; remember Monty referencing the Gong Show?! Make the joke and pay it off. Thaddeus' get shaken until he rattles! See last sentence. He turns into a baby as the Rangers bail. The crazy dame arrives and picks up Thaddeus in which Thaddeus finally blows her off with his human talk. She sobs loudly as she drops Thaddeus as the doors opens and in comes Kirby and Muldoon packing some pistol heat BABEE! Thaddeus waddles and grabs onto Kirby's leg pleading for him to put him in a nice safe cell because he has had enough of Gadget being a sadist. And even Thaddeus calls the rodents sadistic just to cement my theory about Gadget all along.
He sobs and pounds his fists on the floor as we get the scene changer as the police officers have the heels handcuffed and they are going to jail on charges of robbery, dressing in an obscene matter on a DTVA show and impersonating a baby. We pan down to the flower pot on the right side of the door where the police lead the heels away as Gadget is happy that they show those crooks why violence truly gets results. We all know it's true and no amount of peace will change that fact. The Rangers walk towards the Ranger Wing outside as Chip apologizes to Gadget for her non-violence failing on her and Gadget takes it well because sometimes you got to fight fire with fire. I would not want to be in THAT house when she DOES THAT folks knowing her. Monty grabs Gadget and wants to go celebrate as Mr. Fat would like to claw Monty to pieces for stealing his gimmick. Monty suggests some professional wrestling and Gadget isn't so kind to it because she already has professional wrestling for free with Chip and Dale arguing. Monty has just what Gadget wants: A main event is the Kinder Karate Kid against the Gentle Giant. So we have Oddshoe VS. Dirk for the main event. That would be a main event anywhere but inside Dirk's fantasy world. Gadget thinks that is perfect as she and Monty climb into the Ranger Wing and they fly away to end the episode, Disc 3 and Volume 2 at 21:18. All attempts at joking aside; this was still a pretty kick ass episode all due to Gadget finally admitting how much of a sadist she really is. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; now can you spot the differences between the first run and the second run...and more importantly why Disney did this?! Well; the first line from Gadget was originally her saying that they should drag the baby by his dirty rotten diaper and then in the next line she yells in sadistic fury that she wants to shake the baby until he rattles. Disney changed these two lines because they thought kids would shake babies until they rattle and shaking baby syndrome which is caused by shaking babies is deadly. They also changed Gadget's Trash the brat to Trash the Bum which all of this was pointless because even in the second run episodes; Monty proclaims that this is Operation Brat Buster thus rendering the editing pointless. Strangely; Toon Disney apparently has a version that actually keeps Gadget's trash the brat line; but not the previous two lines. As I said; this editing was pointless because the males addressed Thaddeus as a legit baby while Gadget addressed him as a midget basically. Sounds like they were trying to tone down Gadget's violent streak instead of trying to protect kids from shaking babies because they probably knew that it wouldn't have made any difference since the character clearly looked like a baby. Better off this episode was skipped and banned rather than redubbed and make Gadget sound less of a sadist. There was also a lot more elements that they changed which are documented on this website: http://anterras.net/candy/EverythingRR/Rarities.html#Drd so I won't repeat them here; but really the episode was more than good enough even without those changes. It was the tone down of Gadget's sadism that I didn't like them doing here because we knew it was coming sooner or later that Gadget innocent attempt to hide it wasn't going to be hidden for long. She was pretty nasty in the edited version; but a lot more so in the original.
Overall; this episode was really good as Thaddeus was pretty sadistic in it's own right with burning rodents in a heater; and packing a pistol. Not to mention hiring female heels who dress pretty dirty for a DTVA cartoon who know how to assault rodents with clubs both wooden and the blue bat. I was digging Gadget's non-violence plan because I just wanted to see Monty get screwed at every turn and see Chip and Dale try to outclass each other and Chip actually winning for a change over Dale. A few logic breaks marred the experience; but WD-Japan was FEELING IT with the bumps which a lot of them were sick even in the second run version. So; in the end this episode makes violent loving Gregory Weagle a happy ranter.
So we end the second volume of Rescue Rangers and I actually enjoyed ranting on these episodes for the most part. I think after about 24 episodes of mayhem; I think it's safe to say that this series could have been better if we had a lot less episodes with Monty as the focus character and more Gadget, Dale, Chip and Zipper focused episodes since I know Gadget and Dale could go and Chip and Zipper haven't done enough yet to get a good ruling on them other than Chip's really good episodes with Dale as his foil. Fat Cat was pretty good; but he was a non-factor for the most part minus the pilot episode. Norton Ninmul is still pretty annoying; but his easy to mock cannon fodder with lasers allows me to enjoy him in Weather or Not. The animation was actually solid until I got into Short Order Crooks, It's A Bird; It's Insane; It's Dale and Mind Your Cheese's & Q's when it started to look like a good version of Darkwing Duck. And of course; some of the stuff they do as a whole are stuff I cannot take seriously. The Jello Fruitquake being the top of it; although Zipper's three human trip spot is still classic so it works out half of time even though it's not really believable in any sort of way. Disc 3 did have two thumbs down episode; but Out of Scale was a huge surprise for me as I was loving it despite the silly logic that happened in it. So Disc Three ends with four thumbs up; two in the middle and two thumbs down so Volume two ends with ten thumbs up, nine in the middle and five thumbs down which is the worst volume in any DTVA series I have seen thus far. There was only one ***** episode as well as even Darkwing Duck had more ***** episodes in their volume 2 pack. On the other hand; Rescue Rangers has zero negative star episodes so it all balances out. So; I'll start Volume One of Rescue Rangers next on either Christmas Day or New Years since I need a break from this. Next up to review is the Rescue Rangers Volume 2 DVD and then it's the historical re-rant of the first episodes I did for the Rant Shack: Plunder and Lightning. Only it's the movie version and it will probably be the longest rant I have ever done since the content clocks in at a little over 90 minutes and there is a lot of stuff to cover including a surprise criticism of Kit Cloudkicker that I don't talk about and why I think he not only was the one who make TaleSpin exist in 1988; he was the one who sealed the series' fate all in just 90 minutes. Why? Stay tuned....So.......
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.