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Risky Beesness
Reviewed: 02/05/2009
Did Dusty Rhodes start a bee keeping business while I was away...?!
Well; they finally done it. We have seen at least one Chip focused episode, one Gadget focused episode and many Dale and Monty focused episode. However; up to this point, we never saw a Zipper focused episode so episode #33 happens to be the one. And no surprise; insects are involved along with strange credits and lots of rock and roll. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by David Wise and Tad Stones while the teleplay is done by Linda Woolverton. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. Wow; I wasn't expecting anything from her; but I got some really strange credits for her: She narrated Arctic Tale, wrote for Disney feature like the Lion King, Beauty & The Beast and Mulan, and television writing of Ewoks and the Popples. She also was an actor in The Evidence recently. The animation is done by TMS Entertainment in maybe one of the last times you will see them before some of the animators jumped ship to form Walt Disney Animation Japan.
Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the third version of the opening sequence again.
We begin this one in the park on a sunny afternoon complete with squirrels hopping and bees going to their tree and beehive like an army with baskets. Okay; this is actually an improvement from any opening I have seen in this series. And the music is catchy too. They go into the beehive and they proceed to pollinate the two pink tulips (?!!) inside. Okay; can you spot the obvious absurd spot here; or do I have to spell it out for you? We get the bee version of How It's Made which is quite goofy to say the least since the real world version is clearly less absurd and simpler than this. Then again; a certain bitchy queen bee is involved so this vanity is apporos actually. So we cut to the shot of the throne were the bees are flying and let me say this: I HATE YOU WD-FRANCE for making the bees in TaleSpin look bad. These bees are a million times better. And there is my “This is what x show did better than TaleSpin” promo of the episode right there. We zoom in and see Queenie the Queen Bitch Bee (for reasons you are about to see) waving her pink daisy wand in tune. And it so happens she is the only one with clothes of any kind on. This would be the template for Maya The Bee or vice versa depending on your poison. With Disney bashers; it's usually the vice versa part.
She then plops down onto her throne and is tired. Man; this little wrench is already more lazy than Baloo was when he was introduced. He did more dancing in one minute than she could wave a wand in five seconds. She is so much of a bitch that Iger and Eisner should be ashamed of themselves for editing Rebecca's character into the S-class jerk she was painted as despite nearly 99% of the series had her either being a caring person; or when she was a bitch it was because Baloo was a lazy, fat, irresponsible, moronic, man child of a pilot. And she has bee servants who look like those snooty French waiters that Mister T runs into; only they are less snooty and have more sympathy from me than the main characters ever did. Queenie calls this all heavenly in Tom Slattery fashion. Well; she is at least keeping the bitch level low early on; but we know once Zipper gets involved, all bets are off! She of course hears droning music and she gets slightly bitchy as she spills her drink. Man; she needs to lay off the Bitchochol. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POKE! OUCH! Ummm...
She covers her ears and finally she goes from zero to bitch as I expected her to be. Total time: about four seconds which is basically longer than anyone in Ruby Spears history. She bitches for Aloysius (Now there's a name TaleSpin SHOULD have stolen from Stones but didn't.) and of course he looks like he is stoned to the gills. I just knew that Bitchochol was dangerous to drink! I just needed the evidence in this episode to prove it. Queenie actually tones down the wench levels and gasps in horror because now all of her servants are drunken zombies. Time to switch to alcohol free juice there Queenie; and one without Larson and Gary's fingerprints on it. She panics as the bees turn on her in zombie fashion (to the somewhat creepy and awesome music) which I believe makes perfect sense since she is a real S-Class jerk that Rebecca haters think Rebecca WAS. My theory on this: Baloo is the star and therefore the lovable star is the babyface and therefore no matter how caring Rebecca is; when she is showing common sense, she is the bitch heel. Reason #5446654 why people hate Disney.
Queenie flies out making sure before she leaves the beehive that she goes from zero to bitch in 2.3 seconds when she blows off her bees for turning on her. This would be a heel turn; if I didn't see Queenie as a jerk. Otherwise; it's a babyface turn in my view and the villain is the hero. And naturally she whines about her swarm being stolen. No; Queenie, they turned on you. Why? Because you are a BITCH! Rebecca Cunningham has NOTHING on her! So we go further into the park as Queenie buzzes around as she bitches and moans like a Class-S bitch saying how she slaved for that swarm. BWHAHAHAHAHA! Like I'm taking that quote seriously? She then conviently gets all woozy and falls down and there is Zipper RIGHT THERE on the ground laying in the sun on the banana peel for him to get squashed with a MAN-SIZED bump. Yeah; like she just fainted and didn't notice a blue bottle fly there so she can take her bitchy attitude out on him. This is going to be a fun episode to mock; if only due to Queenie.
Zipper pops out of Queenie's behind and he is charmed because she is semi beautiful as Queenie barely wakes up as Zipper waves a green leaf to cool her off. Yeah; that will wave all of the attitude out of her, keep believing that Zipper-boy. Queenie actually thanks him (I am SHOCKED and APPALLED at that one) as she offers him her arm. So Zipper shakes her hand and right on cue Queenie goes from zero to bitch in 1.2 seconds; taking the arm away because Zipper wouldn't help her up. Zipper helps him up because he's a Rescue Ranger see and Queenie gets up to dust herself off. She tones down and asks for a swarm of bees location because they are trait..ERRR..I mean stolen and she needs help. If she needs help in being a nice lady then she's hopelessly gone at this point. Zipper offers to help and she dismisses her because he's too short. Yeah; because she likes the tall, fat ones because there is more to boss around, right Rebecca? Zipper doesn't give up as he trumpets some fanfare music and grabs Queenie's arm and they fly stage left. Man; I'm SHOCKED she didn't go all bitch on us there. So that logically leads to....
...a shot of Rescue Ranger Headquarters as there is heavy metal music (in a Disney show? Isn't that the devil's music? Or is that emo music? I get the two confused) and can you take one guess who likes that sort of music. We head into the living room as the television set is on and some purple/pink haired rockers wearing some of the most manly dresses I have ever seen as they play their electric guitars while Dale plays fake guitar ala everyone's wet dream in Guitar Hero. Dale must be the inventor of that game which proved that third party games can sell on Wii and that Microsoft is a dirty, dishonest viral marketer. Dale actually rocks better than the ones on television and since Chip has imposed a “NO MORE WORKRATE” in this show; the fedora less Chip appears to go to the remote and turns the television off like the party pooper that he is. And as you can guess C&D argument #766 ensues because apparently; it's too loud to think. Wow Chip; you sound like a bitch if THAT is a problem for YOU. You should date Queenie the Bitch Queen Bee. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POKE! OUCH! Ummmm....
Scary thought is; he might do it for real; just to scare me. Less so than Kit scaring me; but still. Disney Captions just keeps missing dialog left and right as the argument is dying and hopefully the chipmunk wrestling entertainment is coming near as we cut over to Monty and Gadget watching the cute little scene and just enjoying themselves. And then Chip finally breaks the ice by slapping Dale about thirty times on-screen in the kisser. HOLY CRAP?! 4Kids would edit that spot easily as we hear Queenie again and she's back from zero to bitch in 23 seconds which is a new record for showing restraint from her as Zipper as the door opens and in comes Zipper and Queenie. Chip asks about the bitch and Queenie and Zipper land as Queenie gets bitchy again when she yanks her arm away from Zipper. Rebecca Cunningham? A bitch? Me not know how those two go together. Zipper squeaks in shame as Queenie notices the chipmunks and Dale introduces them.
Chip asks how they could serve her and she goes from zero to bitch on THEM in 0.8 seconds. That's a new record even by Brandy's recently lower standards. I just cannot take her seriously when she claims that they idolize her. No matter what you think of Sunni; Queenie beats her even in the diva department. Which is why Sunni should have cut the act out sooner than later. And then she faints again at the thought and dives onto the blue chair. She really needs to cut out the Bitchohol at this rate and maybe the Honey Dew Wine too. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POKE! OUCH! Ummm....Gadget arrives as she asks the obvious while getting off the first golly nearly five minutes in. Queenie then proclaims that she doesn't know and asks if she's the kind of person who has enemies. Hmmmm...a little bitch who vainly thinks she has no equal. Sounds a lot like the female version of Drake Mallard now. And now she demands that Zipper give her something to drink like a snoot and Zipper gets giddy anyway and buzzes off. Man; Zipper is a glutton for being blown off just to get more than ten seconds of work in one episode, I give him that much.
Zipper returns with a thimble of water and Queenie tries to drink it; but gags and spits on cue. Dale looks at it and it's common water which Queenie naturally gets all bitchy as hell. And when in doubt; do the Gruffi pose as Zipper smiles with that : I'm seriously (insert swear word here) and flies off towards Monty sulking. I don't blame him; he's dealing with a bitch that shows that Alaska Animal Lover (from Youtube) is 100% correct about Rebecca's character and Disney dealt with it. Eisner wants all females to be like a bitch because somehow; that makes them strong and therefore it pleases the feminists. Even the most extreme feminists would be wanting Eisner's head if he believes that BS. Even if it wasn't because he was a male. Monty follows him as the Rangers get together with Queenie on a plan to find those stolen bees. Wow; Monty shows some heart for a change in following Zipper. Well; after Charlie showed how bad he was, I finally have some sympathy for the Aussie Stereotype. Let's hope it stays that way too.
Gadget suggests the Rangerplane for a bees-eye-view. Yeah; we just need a bee pun in this episode too as we cut over to Zipper moping at the window and Monty coming over wondering if he is stung by the love bug. Well; I think he's stung by the bitch bug too; but that is just me judging from the evidence. Monty then proclaims that he has had his share of romance and entanglements which is CONTINUITY from Many Love Is A Splintered Thing and Monty offers to help out Zipper. Now this should be fun since Monty's last romance ended because of his cheese addiction making him eat an entire truck full of cheese. Zipper is HAPPY as Monty's first word of advice: Give her a present and Zipper checks his pockets and finds nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. So Monty counters that by telling him to give Queenie a bunch of flowers. Now you would think that giving her the bees back would shut her bitchiness up; but I think even Monty thinks Queenie is too far gone in that department as well which in that case my opinion of Monty have gone up about three notches. And flowers have not been free in 1000's of years; but then again Zipper will likely steal them from a park like heartless kids do for kicks just to piss off some flower growing group so it's apporos in this case. Zipper flies away which logically leads to.....
….the launchpad of the headquarters as the Rangerplane is set and ready to go as everyone gets in and Monty wants an extra inch on Queenie and Queenie goes from zero to bitch again in about one second flat. Man; she might be a bitch, but she's getting screwed rightfully; so I don't mind one bit. I guess you can see I'm on Zipper's side of things. Gadget asks where Zipper is and Monty responds that Zipper will be back in half a blink from urgent business. Naturally; she goes from zero to...well you get the picture now. Man; Queenie is funny; but she's an ass of the worst kind. Kind of puts Rebecca in her proper place in real history of DTVA characters doesn't it?! Chip claims that Zipper will catch up with them though just because I think even Chip wants this case to be over quickly with Miss Bitch around. Gadget flies the Rangerplane away stage right as we cut to Zipper flying across the park carrying so many flowers that he makes Kit look like a wuss and that's almost non-existent in DTVA. Sadly; Zipper looks up and notices the Rangerplane speeding away from him so he tries to fly up and manages to get close to them on right side of the Rangerplane. He then flies in front of them and then flies up. Okay; that was kind of pointless as we cut back to the backseat as Monty tries to cheer up Queenie (Nice try Monty...really; I mean it.) with a sniff of the country air and if you cannot guess what Queenie does next you have no business reading this rant. Zipper flies in and the flowers get destroyed on the blitz inside the Rangerplane..and you can guess how Queenie reacts to that one. Total time: 7.6 seconds. Zipper sulks on the Rangerplane again as Monty feels sorry for him. I guess you do get what you are paid for..which in Queenie's case is a bitchin. So we logically go....
….to the scene changer as we get the sky shot of the city helicopter style. The Rangerplane flies around for a while and then swoops down as Zipper is on the red balloon and stays there sulking. I don't blame him. That bitch can poison a normal chipmunk; let alone a blue bottle fly. Zipper looks around and hears the buzzing and then flies down to Gadget squeaking. Dale points out the buzzing as we see the millions of dots which indicates that there is a bee swarm which Queenie helpfully points out. Gadget tells them to hang on to their goggles even though only Monty and her wear them. See; that's why the kneecaps promo works better because everyone in TaleSpin had them. The Rangerplane swoops down and the Rangerplane gets in front as Queenie unbuckles and welcomes them with open arms. Geez; she is not only a bitch; she's REALLY STUPID. Yeap; she's Drake Mallard go figure. The bees of course no sell her (YAY!) and destroy the Rangerplane (HEE HEE!) in the process in the BEETOR SWARM OF DOOM. Time to see the bee shrink there Queenie; unless he has turned on you too. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POKE! OUCH! Ummm...
We then see the Rangerplane free fall and they they a MAN-SIZED bump into the trashcan. Dale and the gang pop up to see the swarm of bee invade a music store called Musique. When is Stones going to learn no French Americans give a crap about French in a Disney show? That's what Tic & Tac: Les Rangers De Risque is for. AHHAHAHAHAHA! The crowd inside of course bails because it's the KILLER BEE SWARM OF DOOM, DUH! We enter inside the store and the bees start using their cartoon shapes to creates arms and hurricanes to steal an electric guitar and drums. Well; the main heel is apparently a lover of heavy metal rock which indicates that the writers think classical music is good music and heavy metal rock is evil. Or something like that. The bees leave as Queenie proclaims that this is terrible because they have turned to a life of crime. Well; considering that bees rape flowers every day for a bitch queen; this is a huge improvement over stealing music stuff. I think Queenie has engaged in psychological projection and she's the guest BABYFACE here. Who needs High School Musical and Hannah Montana to poison the well? Gadget cannot wonder for the life of her why they are stealing musical instruments. I know..because they are destroying all good music so we have to listen to Disney crap forevermore. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Or not..
Golly #2 ensues eight and a half minutes in by the way. The bees drop the music stuff into the back of a blue pickup truck as we cut to THAT token black guy from Three Men & A Booby and he protests this outrage. However; the bees buzz and he has to bail, DUH! The bees enter the front driver seat and turn the key as we see bees driving better than the Wuzzles at any day of the week. It pains me to see that the lion part of Bumblelion turned out to be the crappy driver part to negate the bee part of his character. The Ranger run after them of course and manage to be faster than the bees and they hop onto the back bumper of the truck. And naturally Queenie is such a lazy bitch that she's tired from flying despite only flying about thirty feet or so. So Zipper gets behind her and rams his blue head right into the back. YAY! Which allows her to fly right into Dale's arms. I betcha she goes from zero to bitch on Zipper again. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. Total time: 3.4 seconds. Okay; I'm not using a stopwatch and winging the times here; but you get the overall picture of Queenie's character by now. Zipper does the Gruffi pose to amuse me as the truck drives away and does a MAN-SIZED bump in the process. Sadly; nothing comes out of it. DAMMIT!
So we logically go to the Bug Out Exterminators (helpfully showing a bug with a no smoking cross out line red circle around it) as the blue truck drives in and bangs right into the green walls and no windows shatter on cue. Wow; that was awfully wussy as the Rangers take better bumps than that. I take back what I said; it was the bees that made Bumblelion's driving suck. The droning continues as the Rangers go to the front window and then look to the side to see the bees flying in with the stolen musical stuff as that familiar creepy music plays in the background. Nice steaming from the blue truck by the way as we cut to the roof where we see the Ranger huddle together next to the solar window (man; this is like a staple in my fanfics coming to life here) as Monty and Queenie call the music nasty and ear twitching. Thank you Queenie for ruining the finish to Jolly Molly Christmas one and a half years before it happens. I hope you get the WRAITH OF BECKEY for that one you heartless bitch. At least she has heat; even if it's the wrong kind of heat. So the Rangers look down and we see a lady sciencist (check the lab coat and blue skirt) with the clipboard as she checks off all of the stuff while that fly flutter machine plays which looks creepy for some unknown reason. And finally logic break #1 for the episode beckons because I don't remember there being a saxophone being stolen earlier.
Man; they are poking fun at Lisa Simpson already and that show is barely in it's infancy. At least wait until she becomes an environmental ass-clown BEFORE you mock her. So a male scientist gets a little angry as the female orders the bees to bail and they do under her spare lab coat on the coat rack as she turns the creepy machine off. The door opens as Mr. Snead (now that sounds pretty heelish to me) opens the green door as she greets him with a good afternoon. The female wears goofy glasses which would make her babyface in any other DTVA universe; but she's the HEEL of this episode. Snead demands answer to the outage that there are musical instruments in his lab. Maybe she's going to use them to test out the effects of musical violence on the brain. Have you ever thought of that? Or are you proving Jack The Anti-Gamer ones point in that the industry has made you sell out to them? We cut to the Rangers as they climb down the shade rope as Snead isn't fooled addressing her as Irweena. Take away the wee part and it sounds like Irma from TMNT. You just knew they would mock the shy character from that series. No wonder TMNT did so well in the ratings. He basically blows him off for daydreaming and he wants results as he storms off slamming the green door. Man; he trumped Queenie in the bitch department. That has to piss her off as Irweena blows him off because they wanted her brain; but her heart was in rock and roll and apparently she sucks at it so she made the Flutter Zombie Machine to create a unique sound and become a rock star. Oh man; this has nerdy hardcore written all over it.
The Rangers deduce that the machine turns the bees into zombies as they come out of the lab coat in creepy fashion as Queenie once again goes from zero to bitch in 15.4 seconds. Gadget tells her it's too dangerous and they should destroy the machine after the bees leave..I betcha Queenie storms in now like a bitch would. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good. Total time: 1.7 seconds as Monty tries to reason with her because those bees are deadly see. Zipper goes bonzer loco as he buzzes towards the machine and pulls onto the red wire and it doesn't stop the zombie effect; but it does cause problems with the machine as Irweena notices it and goes to the machine to catch Zipper pulling on the blue wire. Not really a logic break since Zipper probably switched wires during the shot with Irweena; but whatever. Irweena calls Zipper a housefly and flicks Zipper right into the wall with a on-screen MAN-SIZED bump... and damn Tad Stones for bringing back the Scooby Doo Angel Spot in order to annoy me. Irweena walks away blowing off the company's inability to keep the lower life forms away from the lab; but Zipper repeats the spot to annoy her and amuse me for a change. Too bad Queenie too much of a bitch to care as Irweena gets the FLY KILLER OF DOOM (newspaper rolled up for those in the know) and tries to MURDER Zipper with it; but Irweena gets hosed. HAHA! Apparently; the Rangers put a hose on the sink tap during Zipper's distraction as Irweena is slightly peeved and she orders the bees to MURDER them more or less. Monty is on sink floor level as the bees blitz the Rangers and that ends the segment almost 12 and a half minutes in. Wow; this episode is so fun even if Queenie is dragging it down with her diva like bitching....
After the commercial break; Irweena repeats her command (because going back in time for three seconds and animating it differently is cool see) and the Rangers are forced to scatter as the bees hell bomb on them. Gadget and Chip run stage right through the beakers on the table as the bees turn into an airplane and it shoots bees! And somehow this is less absurd then Wonderwoman calling a Star Shooting Airplane in Mugen. Gadget and Chip do a perfect faceplant to amuse me as the bees miss them by inches. Then we cut to Dale going stage left and he sees a weird beaker that makes his face look funny. And when that happens you know Dale is going to take advantage of that so he uses it to mock the bees and make funny faces. And of course the bees buy it as they blitz and enter the complex tubing; only to be bottled up instantly by Monty. I hope there is air in there guys; or Queenie might break the record of zero to bitch in zero seconds! Even Ruby Spears couldn't do that even if they tried. Zipper and Queenie stay together and they both hide in a plugged up test tube which the bees bump and it rolls towards the table edge.
Naturally; it stops halfway as Queenie goes to her bitch mode again. Zipper pushes on the plug and test tube nearly falls only to have Dale and Monty grab it from behind. I guess Tad had enough of BS&P not allowing glass to shatter when the writers want them to shatter if you catch my drift. The Rangers all go to the sink and most of them jump in except for Queenie who...say it with me...bitches again before Monty uses his ass to bump Queenie into the drain. Good for him; she deserve it anyway. And of course Monty jumps in and he's JUST TOO FAT. Monty squeezes and he goes down the drain as Irweena decides to halt the assault of the bees because she has some rehearsing for tonights zombie concert. Ooops; did I give away the climax in advance, I'm sorry. So Queenie falls down the drain and lands in the sewer sludge and she...say it with me...bitches again. And Zipper helps Queenie out of the way as Monty lands on his ass in the sludge in a neat spot. I just wish Zipper didn't help her there; just for revenge purposes.
Monty calls this more fun than riding a kangaroo bareback in his usual Peter Cullen voice. I think TMS is going back to the old Gummi Bear style from 1985 judging by Monty's feet there. Naturally; Queenie is muddy and bitchy as usual. Man; when it comes to bitching, it's like shooting fish in a barrel; both ways. Chip wonders what Irweena is up to and Dale answers it all for me as his favorite band is the Iron Goose which is a pun on Spruce Moose and Gorman Goose or whatever was on my mind when I was ranting on this episode. Dale of course does his fake electric guitar promo just to annoy Chip, just to amuse me and of course just to be Dale. Thankfully; only laughter happens as we logically go to outside the arena of doom as the Iron Goose fans (check the punk rock hair, leather jackets and other authority busting gears) wait outside to buy ticket AFTER HAPPY HOUR (After Dark) which probably means it's two drink mininum tonight BABEE! We head inside the dressing room which looks like a badly designed jail cell with green walls as the Iron Goose members are playing with their musical things. Somehow; I don't get the point of trying to look badass with pink curly hair; but I don't play heavy metal music much at all; so what do I know? And naturally; they have British accents as the green haired guy is combing his hair looking at himself with the MIRROR OF VANITY. I see they are stereotypical UK guys with the tea gig and what the heck is the green hair freak wearing?! And how can you be a badass when you have Ernie's rubber ducky stamped on your white shirt. And what is so badass about the name Burp anyway?
There is a knock on the door as Burp (the yellow haired freak with the black mask that looks like a cross dressing fat lady answers it and gets a basket full of flowers from someone who is clearly Irweena. They take the flowers inside and close the door as the rock wusses wonder if a fan sent them and then the drone music beckons and the bees start swarming on the rock stars. Is Irweena one of those kids who watched Rock! It's Your Decision from the 1980's and this is her idea of revenge on the Satan's music prose? If so; then my respect for her and PZ Myers went up by five notches. If only because both in a debate would be amusing. Not sensible or factual or anything; just amusing. The wusses run around like a bunch of cry babies and hide into the closet. Okay Tad; that is a little bit over the top homophobic if you ask me there as the bees start sealing the door shut with honey. Well; that works with wood since I use a honey finish for the wooden frame of my bed; so there you go. Green punk rocker wonder what in heavens is going on as Irweena The Mad Gay Bee enters the room. Seriously; check the outfit on her. That alone just made me mark out big time as she blows off the musical equivalent of Nintendo because she's going platinum overnight. Man; that is so Miss Hardcore that 20 years later isn't so funny now that they sound more and more like the theocrats who are more dangerous as threats. And clearly this lady has never heard of ever greening in her life.
The vent opens with the Rescue Rangers popping out as the bees finish sealing the door with honey as Irweena orders them to leave and prepare for the show. The bees start to leave as we cut back to the Rangers grabbing the rope and they do the Tarzan spot in stereo which they all slam the door right in Irweena's face. Reminds me of Mr. Hardcore's thinking of what Nintendo does to them on a regular basis. AHHAHAHAHA! And don't worry about me getting shot; Mr. Hardcore is still dealing with Doctor Malstrom not to care. The Rangers hop down to floor level as Irweena calls them lab rodents and then Queenie arrive with her up yours attitude just to be a bigger bitch. How did Rebecca Cunningham get the bitch label from Disney fans again? Irweena and Queenie have a bitch fight (and you can imagine what that involves?) and then Irweena invokes the WII FCC HELMET OF THUNDERING DOOM~! And of course the bees come back and then drill a hole right through the star just for symbolic reasons as Gadget gasp in horror of being outsmarted by the whiny nerd rock star. However; Monty counters that by giving the Rangers a boost behind her and Chip and Dale climb onto her backpack. And then suddenly; Dale grows a brain and removes the jack from her pack to force the droning music to stop. WAHOO! DALE IS SO SMART! DALE IS SO SMART! SMRT! I MEAN SMART!
Gadget and Monty take the goofy wings of Irweena and proceed to tie her up with it as she drops face down to a MAN-SIZED bump. Man; she must have had an anvil in her breasts before coming here as the drill bit bees finally open the door and they start swarming. So the zombie bees surround Queenie. Now at this point; the music has stopped so really the bees should stop terrorizing at this point; but nooooo...We need the bitch to snap them out of it because that kind of logic break is cool see as Queenie sings worse than Rebecca Cunningham ever did with that lullaby in Plunder and Lightning Part Two. And naturally; Disney cuts out the lullaby and Queenie's bad singing is perfectly intact. The bees snap out of their funk as Irweena destroys her wings of course and re-plugs in her jack to brainwash the bees again. That of course leads to the battle between Queenie's bad singing and Irweena's awesome creepy zombie music. Personally; I like Irweena better so Queenie should be rejected at this point. Thankfully; Irweena cheats and places the insect rebels Zipper and Queenie into the saxophone and plugs it up. So that's why she needed it! It all makes sense now. The Rangers are SHOCKED and APPALLED as the bees seal up the big end of the saxophone with bees wax while Queenie bitches. Man; even a plug doesn't shut her up. Monty rolls up his sleeves because he wants to fight; but the bees end their sealing and they surround the Rangers along with Irweena looking inspired for some odd reason as the segment ends nearly seventeen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we cut inside to the arena floor of the concert hall as the fans cheer and await for the Iron Goose to appear on stage as the announcer welcomes them to the Risky. I think Disney Captions censored something here because no one would dare say risky as a pro-noun. It's Risque guys! You're not fooling anyone except those who don't have the power to hear. I hope you are proud of yourselves. And of course the announcer takes a MAN-SIZED bump to the head as the fans are not impressed with what they are hearing as Irweena gets on the PA and introduces her band called Irweena Allen & The Stingers. Okay; that sounds so gay that The Killer Bees would hang their heads in shame. And of course the fans pump their fists in outrage over that one. Bigots! So now we go to the shot of the stage as the spotlights are on Irweena as she and her bees play on the musical instruments and sing the Stinger song or whatever Silversher & Silversher had in mind for a name. And her singing is so laughable that even William Hung looks like an elitist. At least it is apporos for this setting so I'm not going to call the action anyway. Crowd is absolutely dead which is a bad sign for her off the bat as a disgruntled fan tries to leave; but the bees force him back to his seat. Man; that is just like Miss Hardcore to do such a thing. Man; it shows you that nothing changes in 20 years.
Just to note: the Rangers minus Zipper and Queenie are trapped in the drum forced to bump around for my amusement of course so someone is at least getting more tormented than the audience who is merely bored in comparison. We then cut back to the dressing room as one of the punk rockers proclaims that she does have a nice beat. Kind of like the HD graphics of 1989 eh? So we cut back to the saxophone as Queenie goes from zero to bitch again swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE to boot because she might have broken a nail. I wish Zipper just flies out of the top and then leave her there to bitch because by now; no one would bitch to this point. Zipper then pops out of the saxophone keys and then Queenie follows after Zipper squeaks. Queenie actually thought Zipper was clever and then she looks at the reflection of the saxophone and bitches about her hair. Do you see Rebecca doing THAT as Zipper pulls on Queenie's arm and they exit stage left as we cut back to Irweena singing in a laughable fashion and the crowd is still deader than an Undertaker match in the 1990s. Queenie and Zipper fly in and Queenie notices that his friends are being drummed so to speak as we get the shot of the drums where the Rangers are bumping.
Queenie bitches again that she cannot control her own bees thus proving to as useless as Meg from Family Guy if that's humanly possible. Oh wait; she's a bee, never mind...Zipper than kisses her hand and then swoops down to the rescue like the nasty little insect that he is as he gets in front of Irweena and she gets annoyed by the interloper. Zipper does a nasty raspberry on her as apparently; Irweena's protest have improved her quality of singing about 66.6%. And since she's Mrs. Hardcore she order her bees to attack Zipper; which brings on the drone music again and Zipper bails stage left with the bees after him. Zipper flies around as Queenie tells him to be careful (how about actually DOING some work for a change Queenie?) as Zipper flies in front of the drum and mocks the bees. The bees do the hell diver; but Zipper flies up and the bees all blast right into the drum in a neat spot. And the crowd is still dead. The Ranger stumble out like they are drunk and stoned all at the same time. Time to lay off Queenie's Bitchohol guys and gals. Zipper gets chased some more as he is growing more and more tired by the second. Man; that Queenie is such a lazy bitch. She flies down and orders the Rangers to stop the music because Zipper is in trouble. Memo to bitch: DO IT YOURSELF AND PROVE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT A BITCH!
More chasing Zipper as the blue curtains get ripped apart by the bees as we cut to Monty yelling to look out below and he dives and stomps on the foot pedal of the drums as Gadget and Chip get catapulted up into the air. When Monty is doing more work than Queenie; that tells you who is the better character here. Chip and Dale land on the front of the helmet of Irweena as the chipmunks tie up her antenna. Gadget magically unjacks the back as Irweena does the DEXTER/MANDOCK SISSY SLAPS OF DOOM. Man; Irweena must be Mandock's mother. AHHAHAHAHA! Watch Dexter's Lab when Dexter and Mandrock fought each other with those sissy slaps and you won't stop laughing at how wussy it is. It's like the equivalent to dork boxing. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Monty gives Queenie the red jack and she flies up. Finally; the bitch does some work after like almost 19 minutes of being so lazy! Sadly; it's only to give the line to Gadget as she plugs it in.
Oh well; it's ten seconds of work which is ironically considering Zipper doing that in every episode. Must be a rib on his character as Monty plays the guitar so badly that Irweena screams can be heard from a fifty mile radius..and it completely destroys her hair. Well; she's a dork; so it's no huge loss. Zipper is too tired to continue as the bees have surrounded him ready to MURDER his ass; but Queenie stops in between him and of course she acts like a bitch. And she orders them to attack Irweena and they snap out of it! Huh?! I don't get the psychology here; it's all out of whack! And naturally she does nothing but let the very bees do all the work here as they blitz Irweena the lady who actually gave them more freedom than they got from Queenie. What is the moral of this story again? Great MAN-SIZED bump from Irweena into the speakers off the bee swatter move as she blows bees off and plans to use ants next time. Irweena bails stage left as the bees follow in pursuit. Wow...talk about rendering the whole thing....pointless...
We now cut to in front of the destroyed drum as Queenie finally admits that she was wrong about Zipper. She wants forgiveness as this is really the first time she hasn't acted like a bitch; almost 21 minutes in. Even Rebecca didn't last nearly this long in the bitch department as the snooty servants of Queenie all buzz above Zipper and beg for forgiveness for being traitors..ERRR..I mean being zombies to attack her. She forgives them quickly as the drones interrupt her because they love what she did with her hair despite being absolutely average. Zipper sulks away and waves goodbye as Queenie and the bees fly away stage right. Even with the bitch turned down; the bees are a bunch of jerks. I see where Bumblelion's asshole attitude came from after all. So we head back to the living room of Rescue Ranger Headquarters as Dale beats Monty at checkers! HAHA! Monty holds his head in shame over that defeat as we cut to Gadget and Zipper sulking around as Dale tells Zipper to cheer up. Gadget then really crushes his hopes and dreams by proclaiming that it wasn't meant to be because she is from a different world. Monty puts his feet on the table (EWWWW!) and blows off Queenie for not understanding real men. I think they understand real men and think they are jerks. Just like Monty the Aussie Stereotype.
Zipper sighs as I feel for the little guy who did most of the work along with the other Rangers and Queenie did only one or two things the ENTIRE episode that didn't involve being a bitch. There is a knock on the door and Chip answers it. Chip sees something and he calls for Zipper because someone has a message for him. Everyone goes to the door and Zipper gets charmed as we see the bees doing the double heart formation as Monty is proven wrong in his eyes. Ummm; I think Queenie is merely trying to suck up for being such a bitch; but it's too late to redeem her. Zipper likes the gesture though; proving he's not a nepotist. Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (Dinkum!) as we cut to the double heart formation and that ends the episode and Disc 1 at 21:12. Really fun episode despite Queenie being a bitch which was actually quite entertaining. But still; anyone who wants to call Rebecca a bitch can kiss my ass because this episode is evidence that clears Rebecca's name one year before Home is Where The Heart Is. Too bad Disney wants to forget the scene ever existed. Still; Zipper made his first focus episode count which renders Monty uncool by proxy which goes to show you: Aussie Stereotypes with Cheese Addictions as their gimmicks never get ahead in life. I think there's a passage of it in the bible. We also get the second ending to end the disc on a high note. **** 1/2 (90%).
THE REVIEW LINE
The final episode of disc one is in the books..and three days early too. Curse you Mr. Icy Roads! Anyhow; this episode was a really fun one for me and I really liked Zipper in this one because he finally got to do more work and work a full episode rather than be a ten second work machine. And quite frankly; he did a really good job here. Then again; Zipper had a lot of sympathy from me because Queenie was an absolute jackass from start to about 20 minutes into the episode and the apology seems to be tacked on with a good gesture ending which was nice for Zipper; but really it made Zipper look somewhat like a goof since he was dealing with someone so irredeemable that it was like Battered Spouse Syndrome; only with the male as the victim. This to me is the start of overwhelming female characters in order to counter the overwhelming male roles. As much as I understand this; but this is entertainment and I want likable characters. I don't care if they are male or female or both actually. Queenie did almost nothing but sing, bitch on Zipper and then tried to do a band-aid apology for putting Zipper through crap. It killed her character wise; but it did get Zipper over as the plucky little guy who was such a Rescue Ranger that he couldn't help but save her even if she was better off dead. Queenie should finally demonstrate once and for all that Rebecca Cunningham was truly a caring character (and you can thank Molly for that; but it still works to help) and not the jerk people claim her to be. The rest of the episode was fun to watch as Irweena's act was bad; but it was haha funny bad and not bad bad so to speak. Few logic breaks and good animation did this one justice. I really liked this episode overall and it's my Molly Coddled type of episode: Not a masterpiece, but fun to watch only to see a female bug killer try to be a serious rock star and turning into a William Hung fest. It's just too funny.
So that ends Disc one of Volume 2 of this set and this was a real mixed bag of really good with three episodes with a thumbs up, four episodes with a thumbs in the middle and two episodes with a thumbs down although Parental Discreation Retired came close to a fifth thumb in the middle and Catteries almost got four thumbs up. I think it's safe to say that it's time to ditch the Monty focused episodes now since he has yet to get a thumbs up. Thankfully; a Monty focused episode doesn't start on Disc two until Battle of the Bulge and the first four Disney Channel preview episodes have Dale as a focus character three times and then there's Out To Launch which should test my skills in terms of taking pain so to speak. So this episode gets a......
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.