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Out To Launch
…..And In To Crap it seems!
So we head to the third to last episode from the Disney Channel preview and this one I remember all too well; and not liking it one bit even as a kid. However; it does contain one unintentionally hilarious scene involving Chip and Dale that makes me want to remind Tress McNeille that she needs to stop making it look like she cannot act properly. So let's bring on the pain and suffering shall we.....
This episode is written by Mark Edens (UH OH! I do not like where this is going...). The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. The animation is done by TMS Entertainment in maybe one of the last times you will see them before some of the animators jumped ship to form Walt Disney Animation Japan.
We begin this one at NASA headquarters as we pan around with a seagull flying and there are rocket ships and rocket ship jets around. We cut to a bunch of service men working on the jet ship which I'm sure will be used as a plot device by the end of the episode; although with Mark “I thought Cheddarhead was a cool name” Edens; you just never know. The PA announcer gives 57 minutes to launch as we cut to central control as there are the various techies checking over their computers in a usual boring day for a launch. We cut to a techie in a blue shirt and a rather absurd bald spot on his head as he turns around; it looks like he has all hair as there is apparently an unauthorized aircraft on the radar. We know this because there is a red dot beeping sound on the right side of the screen. Someone looks over his shoulder who wears the usual formal gear to work with glasses and a gray mustache with matching hair seeing the projection and it looks like a red sperm wiggling around. Seriously; I think someone in creative has a sick sense of humor here as the red haired guy calls it a weather balloon with a broken compass. Hmm; a broken MORAL compass perchance? AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And of course we cut to the sky as the Ranger Plane flies in. How perverted of these pesky humans to think that Gadget's plane is like something out of a male's sex organs. Gadget flies around and it's crazy flying from Gadget this time around because the stabilizer needs to be fixed. It's official: Gadget Hackwrench is responsible for writing the flight manual Rebecca bought for I Only Have Ice For You. The Rangerplane is about to hit a wire mesh fence; but it flies up in time and the stabilizers are fixed as the male Rangers sell good. Gadget also thanks them for coming with her to the launch and the chipmunks sell by bumping into each other while wearing seatbelts because they would go anywhere with Gadget....and have a date that goes nowhere. Gadget spins the plane around 360 degrees as I ponder if Baloo bought that same manual when he was a kid as she finally fixes the problem as they fly around the launch area. Dale gets giddy as Gadget proclaims that the Ass-tronauts must have their hands full piloting these things.
Vic Ramano: GREGORY?!
God bless Kenny Blankenship for probably the best joke to annoy Vic in MXC history. I'm surprised Gadget hasn't said golly yet since this is supposed to be a Gadget focused episode here. Monty (in Peter Cullen voice of course) is reminded of another one of his BS stories which is those big birds he flies in Guatemaia. I always wonder where Big Bird from Sesame Street came from. So the Aussie Stereotype actually came up with a half plausible story after all. Oh boy; this episode is going to suck; I just know it now. Monty comes up with the lay an egg line Hoppo told Eleroo during the pilot episode of the Wuzzles; but at least it is in the correct context this time around as the Rangerplane hovers around the area. Gadget then notices the Space Plane. However; the Rangerplane hits some problems and goes right through the WHITE SOCK OF DEATH and then falls through the open window inside a hanger and the Rangers take a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen as once again; Monty is on bottom where he belongs. And by the way kids; that white sock like thing on a pole is actually a windsock. You know; the one Kit told Don Karnage to stuff it so to speak. HEE HEE! This educational segment is brought to you by my new unpublished book: Top 1000 Rejected Fanfic Names. Erototoxins is #12 on the list by the way. Gadget finally lifts the goofy purple goggles from her eyes and notices that this is the Ass-tronaut training area...and remembers to get off the first golly of the episode barely over two and a half minutes in. Oh joy....Chip proclaims that he would make a great Ass-tronaut which I disagree because he doesn't have the ass to knot. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Vic Romano: GREGORY!
HEE HEE! Dale grabs onto the bomber jacket of Chip and pulls him away because he's a better Ass-tronaut than Chip would ever be. I agree; he's crazy enough to knot that ass. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm.....Monty proclaims that it takes more than desire to make a good Ass-tronaut; which is the second smart thing he has said in this episode already! In rodent sense; he's the Fat Ass-tronaut. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Umm....Monty proclaims that you need to train which is #3 for him in just three minutes. UGH! Chip and Dale proclaim that it's time to get started. And so we go to the scene changer as we pan up to Chip and Dale sitting in the good old Tilt-A-Whirl ride..if the ride only had one seat and was done by a crane instead of underneath. We then pan down to Monty, Gadget and Zipper at the control panel as Monty wonders which button makes the thing spin around and of course Gadget states the obvious button...the 'On' button. Well; I know this would confuse me today since the On was a fake Nintendo videogame system name as Monty proclaims that he knew that. Good; the Aussie stereotype is back to being stupid again. Dale wants to let it rip and I shudder to think what that implies with Gadget around. The ride starts and Dale calls it a merry go round as Monty goes over to the knob and spins it around thinking that it's the equivalent to 12 G's. One for every time Monty sucks I guess. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Monty calls it the Spill & Whirl ride at the amusement park as the chipmunks are not amused at all as they panic and get bugged eyed. Monty proclaims that he cannot overdo and pushes the violet button which slowly stops the ride. Okay; that sucked. I was hoping Monty would spin it faster instead of slower to amuse me. The chair lowers down and the Rangers have that look of: Can I please throw up now? Ummm...not until we go off-screen since BS&P won't allow it. Gadget asks if they are all right and they say that they are while sliding down the seat like Paper Mario slides into a bed in an inn. At least that spot was neat....And so we continue with the torture...ERRR...I mean training at a white tank of water (THAT'S RACIST!) as Monty proclaims that this test simulates an emergency splashdown. I'm beginning to think Monty was one of the test rats from Secret of Nimh that didn't escape and was used as an Ass-tromouse.
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!!
We pan up the twisted slide as we see the chipmunks on a seat at the top of the slide. This isn't training; this is Magic Mountain. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Monty must be so happy that he isn't being tormented here as he pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the chair slides down the water slide..that has no water on the slide. They make it to the bottom where there is a steel bar which allows the chipmunks to trip and fall into the water making more splash waves then could be possible and even getting the mice wet. Okay; I think TMS is overdoing it here since the mice weigh about a pound combined and nothing like that could make a splash that engulfs Gadget and Monty. I think someone likes wet T-shirts. Gadget asks how that was and the chipmunks walk away getting the water out of their systems in a cute spot. So we go to the scene changer as we go into the space craft simulation chamber as Gadget, Dale, Monty and Zipper are on another control panel and Gadget gets off golly #2 for the episode nearly four and a half minutes in. Monty calls it any more real; and they would be floating in orbit. Monty is resting next to another lever (WRONG LEVER!) as we cut down to Chip standing on a bunch of blue books proclaiming that all systems are go. Monty pulls on the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the simulation starts as we see space from the front screen. Chip pulls on his lever (WRONG LEVER! In more ways than one) as Gadget proclaims that Chip looks like a real Ass-tromunk! AHHAHAHAHAHA!
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!!
The announcer on the system tells Chip to fire the retro rockets as Chip pulls on the lever and realizes that he doesn't know where they are as the screen zooms in towards the ground of the area which looks very believable even by 1989. I guess the time period in this show is around 1995. The screen fizzles out as it basically finds about four ways to tell Chip that his flying sucks and then the ejection seat pops Chip from the seat; but since they are inside the simulation control; not out of the episode. Dale laughs at his expense as Gadget isn't amused by it. Dale jumps down and grabs the green books as he climbs up remembering to show Molly Cunningham how to properly stomp on someone's nose in the process. First awesome spot of the episode; but it's not as funny unless it's Molly doing it to Kit. Somehow; I don't think the pilot's hat and goggle is going to make up for the use of green books though Dale. So Dale places the books onto the spring as he is going to show Gadget how it's done.
The screen fizzles back in as Dale goes all giddy and then presses the white button right on cue when the computer tells him to fire the retro rockets. The rockets are fired and the screen zooms out indicating that Dale passed that part of the test as Dale sticks out his tongue at Chip just to piss him off. Gadget is much more amused at that skill of Dale's. I see Dale has the inside track on the date now as he offers Gadget a seat; but he fails to watch where he is going and panics as he now cannot find the button to fire the rockets and thus fails the test. He is REJECTED so to speak and takes some nasty bumps in the process with the books. Everyone goes over to check on Dale as Monty now wants a turn; but the clock on the wall indicates the launch is less than five minutes away. Oh crap; I was hoping that Monty would fail the test harder than Chip so we can see his Fat Ass-tromouse skills.
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!!
And so we cut to a long hallway as the Rangers walk down and then we cut to a shot of the exit as everyone passes the ajared door room; except for Dale who runs inside and sees a space suit which looks pretty cool all things considered. Dale gets giddy and runs in to try it on because somehow; he just has to screw Chip over seeing the launch. Chip and company notice him and Chip blows him off because it's not his size, DUH! Dale calls him jealous because he found it first. Hard to believe that Dale would have more creditability using the word jealous than anyone who supports the “New Disney” (which is basically the same Disney Eisner got only with more fringe demographics and sexual tension than the one in 1984-2004.). I mean his logic actually makes sense. Dale climbs up; and has problems with his balance as he asks for anyone home and then falls into the spacesuit, natch. Dale swears like a chipmunk to get him out of there as Chip climbs up with his grappling rope gun of doom and attaches it to the helmet bottom of the spacesuit and climbs down as per the opening sequence.
Then in comes two mechanics in orange jumpsuits and hats (oh yeah; like I'm buying that they DIDN'T break out of prison here); and one of them is a female with a fat face, red lips and the bad Rebecca Cunningham hair doo. Even Baloo's version of it from Baloo Thunder was better than this one. And naturally they take the suit that the chipmunks were in and leave after some dialog. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. Gadget and Monty go to the open window as the two goofs close the door. Why it's open is beyond me as the mice look outside and see the two prisoner mechanics carry the suit to a jail truck which is parked near the Space Plane. Huh?! What is the point of this again? Gadget proclaims that they are going to be launched into outer space and they got to stop the launch. Oh; I see; the thing is really a Lift Truck device, my mistake. The sequence of putting the space suit into the Space Plane is so stiff (well the humans anyway) and that creepy music and PA system sounds like Edens trying to shoot for horror in an adventure series. I know the stiff zombie like humans creep me out already as the truck drives backwards. And so we go to the front of the Space Plane as we see three Ass-trohumans without their helmets on.
Vic Ramno: GREGORY!!
One of them is a female with glasses who so happens to have the bad geeky Irma look. The middle has a crew cut and a face that just screams dork. The right one has a blond crew cut and looks quite normal and has a normal slacked jaw yokel accent voice and therefore is speaking because this is entertainment BABEE! I just wish it applied more to this episode alone. Man; I guess Missouri finally is getting some props in cartoons after all. So; we head to central control as the clock is nearly striking noon with a goofy space suit next to it. One more thing to TMS: Draw the American Flag better next time. We then see Stan Blather in full profile on the pan shot southeast as he proclaims that there is tension in the control tower. Man; this guy is more honest than most hardcore game journalists today; and he's being dishonest here. Unless you count sexual tension then he is right judging by the bald spot on one of the techies earlier. Gadget and Monty arrive as there is only 15 seconds left in the launch. Gadget tries to pull the plug from the wall; but it's only to the coffee maker which slightly miffs the middle balding guy as the goofy glasses old man counts down while relaxing his trigger finger near the red button on the control panel. Oh goodie; he even gets to push the red button. That has to be so exciting for him...NOT! Zipper tries to turn back time on the clock but he fails badly.
Sean needs to sit Zipper down after THAT one as Monty then steals Stan Blather's microphone and wraps the cord around the bottom of the chair and manages to prevent Mr. Idiot from pressing the button. How hard can it be to press a little red button? And why does it require 15 seconds to press it? Monty gets MURDERED by the chair anyway (YAY!) as Zipper gets on the button to try to stop it; but then turns pussy and bails as the man pushes the button anyway. Umm; that was really lame guys. The Space Plane takes off without any further incident; well except for the chipmunks holding on for dear life in the spacesuit. You know; if they played some funny music here; this would have been awesome, but it's basically silence and jet engine so it sounds boring. If there was ever a time for bad rock music in a sequence like this; this was the time, 4Kids haters be damned. The PA announcer proclaims that all systems are go and the techies all cheer and throw paper shreds into the air as we zoom out to the coffee cup as Gadget blames herself for ever taking them onto the launch. Yeah; because it's NEVER the original Walt Disney star's fault (in this case both Chip and Dale for getting into the spacesuit in the first place); right Michael Eisner? Monty proclaims that this is great anyway because they'll have a grand adventure being Ass-tromunks.
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!!
Anyhow; we cut to outside Earth as the Space Plane has left the atmosphere and is about to go into orbit. We know this because Stan Blather told us so and he would NEVER lie to us, right?! HEEHAHAHAHAHA! KNEEL BEFORE ME!! We then cut to the inside of the area where they keep the space suits as Dale kicks the glass on the helmet and it opens as Chip's fedora hat goes flying...and the psychology works since they are in space see and thus the floating is all okay due to light gravity. Chip swims and puts his fedora hat back on as Dale does the backstroke to amuse me. Well; it's nice to know Dale is keeping me entertained even if this storyline is dumb as hell. Dale spins around a steel pole and gets goofy as he flies into DA...HOLE (God bless Baby Plucky!) of a device that looks like a moon walker robot and Dale gets coiled by the stray spring on the other side. HAHA! Dale springs back of course and it's time to play some Space Pinball Chipmunk Style~! Great animation sequence follows as Dale and Chip land and throw...THE SWITCH...on the spacesuit which de-attaches and it floats around. We return to the cockpit as slack jaw yokel guy orders Joy to deploy the first satellite. She responds by doing two Rogers on him because he's Roger. Oh; that was so witty of Mr. Edens. NOT!
Joy flips..THE SWITCHES and that invokes the red screen inside the spacesuit area as the alarm sounds. And naturally the top of the roof opens like on the SeaDuck in It Came From Beneath the SeaDuck as we cut to the long arm coming towards the satellite as it picks it up and lifts it off the ground while the chipmunks hang on. Now; can you sense the obvious logic break here? I'll give you a hint: Bart Simpson and Homer Simpson did a spot where they jumped out of a spaceship and their heads blew up and popped. Well; at least it took Edens almost 11 minutes to blow it logic break wise. Thankfully; the chipmunks bounce back into the spacesuit and the glass helmet closes on cue to prevent the logic break from becoming gaping. Nice to see Edens looking smart for a change as the satellite and spacesuit latch onto each other and the long arm pushes them away and waves goodbye before coming down. Joy proclaims that the task if done and Roger tells the middle guy who is Buzz I'm Not Related to That Jerky Toy from Pixar to take them out of here. Man; this episode is so dull and boring. Buzz pushes the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the Space Plane flies away as Chip realizes that they are screwed. The chipmunks pound on the glass in protest; but no dice as the spacesuit and satellite float away towards Earth as the segment ends 11 and a half minutes in. Well; at least Edens isn't screwing up; but it's SO vanilla that it makes the experience slightly more painful to watch.
After the commercial break; we head back to a shot outside central control as Stan Blather manages to get his microphone back somehow as he has the latest news which is pointless since we know that the mission is already a success thus far. We go back in as Stan blathers a lot while we pan down to the right on a red chair as the mice and Zipper watch on with concern although Gadget is smiling for no good reason at all. Man; Disney needs to hire a better CONTINUITY coordinator on Overseas Animation. Gadget and Monty jump down as Gadget is no longer worried because the chipmunks have had space training. I don't know how thirty minutes in a bad space simulator is space training; but whatever. Stan of course relays that they lost a spacesuit in orbit and the mice panic because the mission will take two weeks to complete. Ooooo; that burns BABEE! So we go to the junkyard outside the launch area as we pan over to see a makeshift launch area for the rodent space launch of Gadget's newest invention which is a rodent rocket ship.
Gadget pops from the top of the nose cone with a cigarette lighter (!!!) as she tells Monty that she only needs five sticks of dynamite for this trip; which Monty blows off because it won't go over the fence, so he stuffs about 20 of them into a bucket above the rocket. Where do you find TNT in a junkyard anyway? Logic break #2 for the episode as Gadget tells Monty to hurry up because C&D should be over their heads soon. How does she know where they are when she has no telescope in her procession? Oh wait; her goggles give her super eye vision, my mistake and logic break #3 for the episode. I knew Edens would screw up at some point as Gadget continues with the lighter down inside. Monty cannot seem to stuff #20 in and finds a rope inside which he pulls up and the dynamite pops up along with a raft and a parachute when opens on cue. Monty blows it off because he doesn't need this crap in space and throws the emergency stuff away. Something tells me Monty is REALLY STUPID here as he stuffs the dynamite back in and packs it down with his feet. I see he's already teaching Louie how to be gross and dangerous all at the same time. Zipper is SHOCKED and APPALLED for goodness knows what reason and then we circle fade out for the black slug. Yeah.....
So we circle fade in as the rocket ship is completed and Gadget orders Monty to remove the gantry for launch. Huh? Oh; it's the ladder they were using to hold the ship up. Monty kicks the thing away and it collapses under it's weight as Monty climbs up and into the nose of the rocket ship as Gadget commences ignition and countdown. Zipper does his ten seconds of work for the episode as Gadget counts down and she would be a big fat cheater in Hide and Go Seek. Zipper's work: Connecting the battery wires and getting SHOCKED. Ho hum. The rocket ship rockets into the air as the explosion is too great and thus it creates break neck speed. We then cut back into space as Chip and Dale sulk about being LEFT BEHIND.....Dale has the Gruffi pose to annoy me as they float some more and here comes the makeshift rocket as it uses the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE to latch onto the ankle of the spacesuit and then floats back down towards the Earth as Gadget jumps away from the window proclaiming that they need to fire the retro rockets and use the parachute raft to float down safely. UH OH!
I just knew Monty would screw this episode up in order to pad an already boring episode into infinity. Gadget then accuses him of doing something to the parachute while doing the Gruffi pose and of course Monty denies and stammers. A true sign that Monty is bad as both a heel and a face right there. He then basically incriminates himself by doing the Gruffi pose which Zipper tsks him on. Yeah; if you are trying to deny, don't do the Gruffi pose. It really exposes you as a dirty liar. So Gadget pulls on some nuts (It's not what you think you sick freaks!) and bolts on a rope and decides to board the Space Plane and come back to Earth in two weeks. So the rocket rockets towards the Space Plane as we return to inside the cockpit of such plane as Roger, Buzz and Joy buckle their safety belts (to keep them from floating away see) and relax and snore like they are in bed. Roger Houston (oh; I get the wordplay, HAR, HAR! NOT!) is talking to launch control about taking their rest period and he turns off the light with...THE SWITCH...and then everyone goes to sleep as we cut back to outside the Space Plane on the right wing as the Ranger Rocket lands on the plane and uses the foam retro rockets to stop just above the wing as the spacesuit does a whiplash effect on the chipmunks that is all wussy.
Gadget then tells Monty to open the air lock and the nose of the plane opens to reveal Gadget wearing a glass bowl on her head with a yellow glove suit and a screwdriver which she probably used to screw Monty's manhood if you catch my drift here. POW! OUCH! Ummm....And man; did Gadget manage to grow the limpest dick in history. Eeeewwwwwww!! That is really the very first entertaining spot of this episode and all for the wrong reasons. And they keep showing this shot in the opening credits; just to make Gadget look more limp than a dishrag. Gadget fires her makeshift jet pack and lands onto a small panel conveniently placed on the plane which has screws for her to unscrew. Nice to see NASA was on the ball here eh?! Monty proclaims that Gadget is awesome and he gave her a few pointers. Okay; that is more disturbing than I think Mark Edens had intended. Is he responsible for Kit not wearing any pants from the circa 1988 prototype? Never mind; let's move on as Gadget lifts the panel open and rewires the wires with the screwdriver which opens the roof doors. Gadget rockets inside as Monty decides to show Zipper how to fly a rocket as he pulls on the nuts and bolts and the rocket flies like a balloon running out of air and then it dives in to a sick MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. Wow; I cannot believe Monty is actually half entertaining today which shows just how boring this episode really is. The doors closes as we are already sixteen minutes into the episode already. Scene changer and we cut to inside the cockpit as the space fliers are snoring like Ass-trodads as the door opens....
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!!
...and the Rescue Rangers show up floating. Gadget proclaims that they should find a place to hide until the Space Plane lands. Dale yells that they should hide in the food locker and the rest of them shh him to shut up. Spoiled sport as Gadget and the gang swim and bounce off wires towards the steel doors to the left of the ship. Gadget then swims over to the purple button and pushes it which opens the door. The Rangers swim inside and the steel doors close behind them. We then cut into the food storage which looks like something that couldn't reasonably be there in real life. Gadget wonders what they will eat as I suspect that this will be the most entertaining part of the episode bar none. Dale grabs a red bag and rips it open to reveal small packet of cheese which Monty sees. He spells cheese and it's the CHEESE ADDICTION OF DOOM which the logic is shot all to hell again. Why can't anyone keeps this straight is beyond me? Monty opens it and eats it in which Gadget proclaims that it's dehydrated cheese and of course Monty's stomach gets too big for it's bridges.
Huh? Only one piece of cheese? After Many Love Is a Splintered Thing? Logic break #4 for the episode as we see Zipper eating something out of the toothpaste tubes and gets fat off of it which makes sense at least as Dale opens the tube and squeezes allowing him to zip around and take a MAN-SIZED bump into the wall and go flat. HAHA! Now that is funny....and remember what I said about how bad Chip's laugh is...Well; Chip starts laughing and it's the most contrived laugh I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE! Seriously; Tress sounds like she's rebelling here and not laughing like she should be even by Chip's recently lower standards. When I was doing MXC fanfiction with DTVA characters; I spoofed that laugh in my script with Dale when he screwed up a spot and Kenny blew him off for gimmick infringement (which is silly since Takeshi's Castle was released in 1990; a year AFTER this show and MXC didn't exist until 2004; but whatever.). Needless to say; Dale is PISSED OFF at him (ON SO MANY LEVELS I MIGHT ADD!) as Chip's laugh continues that he grabs the toothpaste tube and squeezes it to spray chocolate paste right in Chip's kisser. HA HA HA HA ! HAHAHAHA! HA HA HA HA HA HA! Take that you NO WORKRATE FOR DALE party pooper!
And that is pretty much the end of the entertainment for this episode. And so time passes and the whole room fills with floating garbage as the Rangers are fatter than Hoppo after going to Louie's and ordering the All You Can Eat For One Dollar Special. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....So; Dale thinks this is all fun and game as we head outside and a meteorite comes down and explodes near the left wing and all hell breaks loose inside the food locker as the Rangers bump around. We cut to the cockpit as the heroes of space wake up as the alarm wails on. Roger presses some buttons to indicate that they were hit by a meteor which is helpfully shown on the computer monitor above him..and somehow he doesn't get electrocuted despite having sparks fly. Then the pipe breaks and he gets blasted with air which apparently is sleeping gas as the Space Goofs fall asleep again on cue. If air merely knocks them out then they are bigger pussies than the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana and the cast of High School Musical combined. And that officially ends the segment at a little over 17 and a half minutes in. Man; that was a pretty long and boring segment until the food locker scene....
After the commercial break; we return with a pan shot of the Space Plane as the air sprays around and launch control tries to gain contact of the plane but no dice DUH! The doors to the food locker go slightly ajar (huh?) as the Rangers pop up from it as we cut to a speaker proclaiming that there is an oxygen leak and they lost remote flight control. How does oxygen knock people out again? I'm no expert on chemistry; but I thought Carbon Monoxide would make more sense here despite it being extremely deadly. Of course they say they must land before their oxygen is gone; but it still doesn't explain WHY the Ass-tronauts are knocked out. I cannot seem to answer that question. Monty proclaims that a three bell alarm wouldn't wake them up either. Chip proclaims that they need to wake them up; so the Rangers swim over and start yelling in their ears and bouncing on their faces which nets nothing. Gadget checks Joy's left eye and it's blood shot indicating that they are knocked out cold. Launch control proclaims that they must land at once before the oxygen runs out in as the electrical sparks fly everywhere on the speaker and the control panel. Oh; this is not good.
Gadget panics as what to do as we cut over to the Space Plane floating around in space as an announcer proclaims that they have only two minutes of oxygen remaining at 18:16. So; the episode would end two minutes too early. Hmmm..and we have our second black slug which shows how screwed the commercial breaks were back then. So we return to Earth at the launch area as Stan Blather continues to blather on with information that we ALREADY know. Stan then listens though his ear piece and he then proclaims that the Space Plane is getting a transmission as the techies listen in and it's the chipmunks yelling and swearing a mayday which of course fails because the humans cannot understand what the hell they are saying. Dale's yelling was cute as the microphone starts sparking. Gadget then proclaims that they have to land the plane now and is glad that Chip and Dale have had Ass-tronaut training which allows the chipmunks to gulp on cue and.....
Vic Ramano: GREGORY!
The speaker then proclaims that they have one minute of oxygen remaining at 18:52. So only 36 seconds have passed in this episode. SOMEONE FIRE THAT STOPWATCHER! Chip goes over to the control panel which has stopped sparking and pushes a random blue button which causes the Space Plane to take a missile like dive straight into the Earth as we cut back into central control as the techie panic and scatter like a bunch of scalded dogs while Stan Blather does....nothing but talk into his microphone. Man; this just proves how heartless journalists are when they DON'T panic. He then proclaims that everything is going to be A-OK! No wonder I call it the PRESS OF FRAUD. We cut back to the Space Plane continuing it's missile like dive with shouting and screaming continuing. The gang hug together as booming and banging occur as the Space Plane re-enters the Earth's atmosphere as Chip gets back on the control panel and pushes a blue button, throws a switch and pulls a double lever (WRONG LEVER!) and then a single one which does absolutely NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. Dale climbs up and pushes the same blue button which stops the rockets and the Space Plane floats down. Dale tries to throw a switch; but Chip stops him so he can throw the one on the far right. Why bother?! This is just random luck that they haven't burned the entire rocket and themselves to ashes at this point. The switch opens up the Space Plane back engines and they allow the plane to do a hyperbole and now they are safe in Earth's atmosphere at 20:10 which means that in RR time the Space Goofs would be out of oxygen and dead by now. Sadly; in real time, they cut it close by six seconds or so. Chip and Dale slap skin at logic break #6 for the episode.
However the alarms are blaring as the Space Plane dives some more towards the Earth at great neck speed as the Rangers are completely out of ideas. OH TAG Mike; let's make the Rangers look even weaker now. Man; has this episode taken a missile like dive since the food locker scene. It was cruising on dull for most of it until after the second commercial break. The Space Plane flies towards the control tower as we cut over to Stan Blather still talking as the techies are all gone and Stan proclaims that there is a tragic development and that the Space Plane is heading towards the tower. No; Stan, it's not tragic, it's Darwinism taking over and you're it's target see. He then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLARITY and screams....badly as he bails stage right. We cut back to inside the cockpit as Gadget proclaims that she would pull back on the stick, so the Rangers jump onto the levers (WRONG LEVERS!) in stereo allowing the plane to do a hyperbole over the tower and doing zero damage whatsoever; thus rendering Stan Blather's scared-rabbit spot absolutely pointless.
It does a loop-de-loop for only fifteen cents as the Rangers are scared like rabbits on the sticks as the Space Plane flies into the hanger and out again doing zero damage whatsoever. This is the most boring spot building I have ever seen in my life. It makes Chip's laugh seem awesome in comparison. The wheels finally comes out as the Space Plane starts landing on the landing strip to waste more time (with one minute remaining?) Of course the Space Plane doesn't stop; so Gadget tells them to hit the brakes as they run up the control panel towards the purple stick (sense a trend here?) and they with a lot of effort push the brake up because we need some suspense despite being too boring for me to even care. A tire bursts on the Space Plane's wheel and the plane doesn't go into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) as the Rangers panic because they are going to hit the rocks. If that plane is undamaged by the time they stop; Mark Edens is a total idiot. The Space Plane cannot stop and it wedges itself into the rocks and causes the Rangers to fly and bump right onto the dashboard away from the sight of the crew. Yeap; Mark Edens is a total idiot as the crew wakes up right on cue at about one minute before brain damage starts.
I think they just went to sleep in order to make the trip more exciting; but the Rangers made it so boring. Roger calls it easy training and Dale faints on the dashboard on cue. No guys; you just got lucky as we get the scene changer as the Rangers and the Space Goofs get their own ticker-tape parade with enough confetti to cause a total crisis in paper production. And despite all the boredom this episode provided; we still get pops from the crowd. I guess the heat machine is on today as Stan is still talking while being in the public in front of the security rope. Man; Stan must have gotten a big deal from Eisner for this episode do to the screen time he got in this episode. The car and motorcycle drive down the parade route as we see a police officer driving a car with Roger Houston, Buzz Airfields and Joy Rider. Okay; Buzz Airfields is pretty cool; but Joy Rider? If she's called that; why is she the most reserved of the pilots? Shouldn't SHE be the one rebelling here? Oh never mind; this episode is nearly over anyway as we cut to Stan again talking on and then panning over to the front of the car with the Rescue Rangers cheering as Dale calls this a giant leap for a chipmunk and total boredom. Okay; I made the last part up. The Rangers wave to the public who doesn't give a crap about them and that mercifully ends the episode at 21:17. Oh yeah; this episode sucked and it was dull as dishwasher as only the food locker scene was the only entertaining segment of the whole episode. * ¼ (15%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I didn't like this episode back then and I hate it even more now because it is just plain boring. It's one thing to go against the premise of the show by having them get into trouble by accident; but this was just dull beyond belief. As much as Dale tried; the episode was just dull sequence after dull sequence for the entire episode and only one scene was entertaining which was the food locker scene and seeing and hearing Chip's contrived laugh. That was so bad that it was funny and Dale's bumping to set up the moment was great. Once the second commercial break arrived; Mark just turned to crap with logic breaks out of the wazoo and a finish that was really boring with a contrived setup (air knocks out humans?) and no real damage was done as a result. It seemed to be just a way to get Stan Blather screen time he didn't deserved. And a nice way to make Gadget and the Rangers look absolutely weak to boot. At least the animation was dead on in this one; but it was a terrible, dull and boring episode that should only be seen for the awesomely bad Chip laugh spot in the food locker scene. So......
Thumbs way the heck down for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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