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Dale Beside Himself

Reviewed: 02/20/2009 better than Monty being himself!

Onto the second to last episode in the Disney Channel preview which contains back to back Dale focused episodes to complete the set....and this one involves a pet of course which can only mean vast screwing and chaos will ensue. So let's rant on shall we?!

This episode is written by Dev Ross. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. The animation is done by TMS Entertainment in maybe one of the last times you will see them before some of the animators jumped ship to form Walt Disney Animation Japan.

Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the third version of the opening sequence again.

We begin this one near a lake with a pan shot to the right and a lot of woodpecker noise. We see a brown rabbit and a red spotted rattle snake (?!) as it sneaks up behind the rabbit climbing onto the log. You know what would be hilarious: Monty doing a Steve Irwin Discovery commentary here; since Monty is the perfect Aussie Stereotype to pull it off. There; I found a use for Monty after all that doesn't involve him sucking. The rabbit turns around and the snake blows him off because the green leave in the rabbit's mouth stunts his growth. And then we cut to a tree as a pink beaver (WHAT THE HELL...?!) yawns that this planet is a great place for a vacation. Oh; I get it now, they are aliens from the planet Fleeblebrox. That sounds like a county somewhere in Parts Unknown. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! The beaver changes into a pink alien with no arms and purple scales for ears. You know something; I realize why Rescue Rangers didn't do as well as TaleSpin has in terms of hindsight: Too much “TMNT too” influences that seem to be more interested in competing against TMNT than creating a fun experience for Disney.

The snake alien transforms; but the rabbit alien refuses because he likes it here. Wait until this place gets dumped with trash in 20 years; and then you will change thy tune. The pink alien uses the CRIMSON LIGHTNING CARE BEAR STARE OF DOOM (the ultimate weapon of choice for Miss Curling Jones) on a log and that turns into a goofy looking spaceship. Now that's a super power I would truly love. No more buying anything; just use the stare and I get cared. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Brown Alien uses the POWER OF HENTAI to sag the rabbit aliens' ankle and he gets thrown into the space ship with a wussy bump off-screen. The other aliens walk into the ship and close the doors. The space ship flies into the air as DTZ (so sezs Disney Captions) whines that he wants to stay and the other two aliens blow him off as the space ship goes into hyperspace. However; a small space ship drops from the hyperspace and heads back to Earth as DTZ proclaims that he is staying. I don't blame him. I would too if I had the lamest alien friends like his who resort to bad playground level blowing off.

So we cut to the television screen as a B&W movie is being played as we head to a city where there is a UFO touching down and a bunch of motionless people are in horror. We then cut to the eye of the UFO where we see a badly drawn alien roaring. Geez; this is like Monster A Go-Go; but without the witty Albert Walker from the Agony Booth to ease the pain and suffering. We then get the far shot as the goofs run away thus making this fake movie better than the real one as we see Dale sitting down enjoying himself with a mountain of shells of Insano Nuts. Dale then gets into the mood by doing roaring noises while the badly drawn alien eats a school bus. He must have been home schooled. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! And then here comes the Aussie Stereotype wearing a white chef's hat and apron with the other Rangers as Monty proclaims that he had enough nuts to make a cartload of his Walnut Wallaroo Cookies. Monteray Jack: Aussie Slave Driver. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....and naturally with enough walnut shells on the floor to feed that small army of slaves, you can bet Dale will be blown off by the Rangers; starting now....Chip “NO WORKRATE FOR DALE” Soon To Be Hackwrench literally pulls the plug on the television set and the aliens screams before the television goes dead. Dale blows Chip off calling him a fathead which would have worked if it was MONTY pulling the plug. I thought Eisner was burying new characters; not Walt's stars? Dale walks over mad as Chip asks Dale if he ate all of Monty's walnuts. You are accusing DALE of cannibalism Chip?! Dale no sells because it was big ugly aliens from.....

Staci: Don't say it...!!
Bradley: Uranus!!
Staci: Real mature Bradley!

Now there's another show I need to rant on soon: Stickin Around. Another show I really like now after hating it at first. Probably because it was damn crazy and insane with a touch of child drawn doodles to accent the insanity perfectly. Chip does the Gruffi pose to annoy me and Monty (Peter Cullen again) doesn't buy the accusation, but still likes Dale's attempt to weasel his way out of blame here. Chip grabs Dale as he accuses him of watching too much TV (must be Jack The Anti-Gamer's One's cousin) and then forces him out the door and then kicks Dale right in the ass allowing Dale to take a pinball style MAN-SIZED bump into the top of the door on-screen and then one MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. HOLY CRAP?! Dale really must have peed on Chip's detective books to piss him off so badly. And so we get a scene changer as DTZ's toy space ship spirals down and lands on the ground next to the tree without incident. DTZ pops from the ship as we cut to Dale walking with a sack of more Insano nuts making spaceship noises. Even with Chip around; he cannot kill Dale's work rate. Dale collects more Insano Nuts as the alien turns his spaceship into a giant Insano Nut. Talk about evolving your career there pal.

Dale sees nut; goes to nut and pushes nut around despite giving up lots and lots of weight. Dale's jump start was pretty funny though as we head inside the kitchen with a pan shot of the dirty pots and pans as Gadget, Chip and Zipper are listening to Monty relate another BS story on his cooking habits. Apparently; there is a Great Eskimo Chief named Mighty MuckLuck who taught him how to make this recipe while hitchhiking through the southern Arctic in a terrible snowstorm. I suspect that he was in Edmonton, Alberta Canada at the time and played nose tackle for the CFL too. Then again; that was be BS even by Monty's recently lower standards. Monty is at the bowl of dough as he dumps the FLOUR OF PORNO (Memo to aspiring entertainers: Do not have XXX in any context during an episode.) into the cup and naturally Zipper flies and gets dumped into the batter. Did Zipper lose his brain or something here because that made him look REALLY STUPID? Zipper licks the batter when he pops up (I guess that is his ten seconds of work) as Gadget thankfully calls Monty's BS story into question. Good...for....her. Monty has an answer for that: They use walrus nail clippings instead. EWWWWW!! Monty has weird me out for the rest of my life and probably is responsible for my leg and hip being in so much pain right now. We get a shot of the door as Dale practices the fine art of not being seen as he pushes the Giant Insano nut into the living room and then....

...we logically see Dale trying to crack the nut with the hammer; but failing at it and taking wussy bumps on his ass to boot. Dale bails to get a bigger hammer as the nut opens and DTZ sells the wobble spot to amuse me. DTZ gets off death reference #1 for the episode (How long has it been since I heard the word kill in a DTVA cartoon?) and slithers out like a snake. Well; DTZ is a snake so it's apporos. DTZ turns into a chair as Dale returns with another hammer and struggles like a goof before looking as he realizes that it is a spaceship. Dale pushes the red button on the console panel and it spits out blue eyed alien squid which scares Dale out of his wits allowing him to land on the DTZ Chair of Doom; which DTZ counters by dumping him on his ass. HAHA! Good bumping on the chin there Dale. DTZ changes form on cue and calls the squids erkburgles. I guess Uranus Slug was too offensive even for Disney. He grabs them and puts them back into the holder where Dale pushed the button and then bails to hide because Dale is giddy to be in the presence of a real space alien. Dale tries to block the door; but DTZ changes into a brown goo worm and tries to go underneath the door; but Dale grabs him and counters that. Nice off-screen bump there as Dale sezs hello to Mr. Space Alien and DTZ panics and tries to run away again, but Dale catches him by the tail. You do not want to run away from Dale; particularly if you are an alien from.....

Staci: Don't say it...!
Bradley: Uranus!!
Staci: Real mature B-Man!

DTZ counter by becoming a coil spring and bounces around allowing Dale to take some more wussy bumps along the way. DTZ changes into a dragon and grabs Dale allowing him to do the windbag roar right into Dale's face. I'm sorry; but even Gosalyn can trump Dale in this spot. Dale doesn't care because he wants to know if DTZ is here to take over his planet. Only Dale would see that as a GOOD thing. DTZ doesn't want to because he wants to only have fun. Don't we all? Dale wants DTZ to become a Rescue Ranger and DTZ gets giddy and turns into Dale as we some more good bumping from Dale afterward. Dale even gets off the first golly of the episode at the six and a half minute mark which is twice now Dale has said that word BEFORE Gadget does. And naturally the fun must end because fuddy-duddy Chip is demanding his nuts (NOT THOSE ONES!) and so Dale tells DTZ that the ship must be hidden. DTZ has no problems with it as DTZ uses his stare to turn the walnut ship into a purple rug with blue trim. The door then slams open and Dale is in the general area to get squashed into the wall as a result taking a sick bump in the process. Of course; it's even sicker when a little kid gets the spot if you catch my drift. Chip wants those walnuts and DTZ (still Dale at this point) doesn't know what the hell Chip is talking about. Chip is flustered and in a mess with a green grape stuck in his toe for good measure. HAHA! Chip closes the door and Dale naturally tries to audition for DARKWING....DUCK! It fails badly sadly. Dale slides down like Paper Mario sliding into a bed at the inn and then gets giddy because tricking Chip is fun to do. I cannot blame him for that in the very least.

We we go back to the walnut tree as Dale proclaims that they will toss the walnuts down to each other; but DTZ has a better idea which is to use his stare and burn the walnut tree to ashes which causes all the nuts to tumble. Wow; talk about tricking people into thinking the walnut tree is toxic or something there. I'm beginning to like this DTZ guy. Dale gets walnut tombed as DTZ floats down and Dale pops up. Dale is giddy at the results; but wonders how to get those nuts home to their freedom...or Monty's bad BS story recipes depending on your point of view. DTZ has an answer for that; the walnuts float by themselves and make a flying carpet for DTZ and Dale to lie on and not have a care in the world. Now THAT'S service!! So we logically head back into the kitchen as the other Rangers are cleaning up and Gadget is doing the dishes. Attention LAPD: Riot and Protest in progress near the Walt Disney Studios; Code Red. Gadget calls it a shame that Monty didn't get to finish the Walnut Wallaroos. I call it a form mercy myself. AHHAHAHAHA! And I betcha Chip blames Dale for that gaffe. I personally would THANK Dale for that public service if I were you Chipper. Monty is reading the yellow book which is the smartest thing he has done since being half-entertaining in Out to Launch; while getting off the too right #1 for the episode seven and a half minutes in.

Gadget agrees with me and Chip does exactly what I expected him to do which is to blame Dale for being so lazy. And naturally; Chip has the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DOOM; just for situations like these. The door then opens and it's the Insano Flood of Death~! HAHA! Everyone is SHOCKED and Chip is somewhat APPALLED as Dale pops up hoping that it is enough and then bails because he has work to do. And then we magically see Chip outside watching Dale from above washing the Rangerplane. Okay; this is getting weird in both Dale's behavior and the editing here since the later was so sudden and forced. It's not really a logic break at all; but it's weird. Dale's use of the sponge as a symbolic “You want to yap, yap, yap at me Chipper?” spot is really funny as Chip is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as he walks inside only to see Monty and Dale (yes; play along for the sake of argument) walk past him because they want to help Gadget with the equipment. Chip cannot believe this as his mind is being screwed like a bitch. Monty is laughing it up and ribbing Dale good which indicates that Monty is in on the joke (what a shock?) and then the goofs walk off leaving Chip to scratch his head in frustration. HEE HEE!

So we head to the ground as the Male Rangers are lifting a typewriter for Gadget just to allow Gadget to be a Sadist Nut as usual. POW! OUCH! Ummm....Monty wants to take five on this (which is about five years off give or take) and Gadget offers it as they lose their grip and Monty gets MURDERED by the typewriter good. HAHA! Sadly; he doesn't die from the shot as we cut up to Dale (or DTZ depending on what mood I was in when writing this rant) in the hammock eating grapes for my amusement. Now there's something even BALOO should have had sense stealing and NEVER did. DTZ wonders around on the ground below as we cut to Zipper turning on the water fountain as Gadget, Chip relax their feet in the water and Monty drinks the water from the fountain spray Zipper creates while resting on a green leaf.

Monty has better sense of keeping clean and fresh than everyone else ever in this world. DTZ snaps his fingers and his alien powers allow him to raise the broken typewriter into the air; open the wooden side door in the tree house and place the typewriter inside. DTZ wipes his hands clean as Gadget, Monty, Chip and Zipper arrive to notice the typewriter is gone. DTZ calls it a snap. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. See; make the joke and then pay it off. Dale laughs his ass off on the hammock in response. It's nice to see Dale take advantage of Chip's no work rate policy here and screw Chip over just for my amusement. Remember; the act was only good in the shorts because of Dale screwing Chip's straight man act. Sadly; he spins way much and the hammock spirals over and makes grape juice because red wine is a no-no in a children's cartoon see. HAHA! Again; Baloo should have stolen that one, although his version wasn't too off in It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck.

So we cut to a sky shot of the path below as Dale or DTZ has a pencil fishing pole and he walks off to fish as DTZ or Dale waves at him for good luck and then returns to Rescue Ranger Headquarters. He then hears alien voices as the television screen in the room goes wonky and then the mugs of the two lame aliens reappears looking PISSED. The red one is Bric and the pink one is Brac which I guess are the alien version of Chip and Dale; while DTZ is Monty. You know what; I would exchange DTZ with Monty; since DTZ is already over in my eyes. So Dale/DTZ panics as Bric proclaims that the mother ship sensors have honed on him and they proclaims that they'll make him come home as the screen goes dead. Something tells me these aliens consider DTZ as a slave or something. DTZ turns off the television set and then runs underneath the table (thus confirming Dale as the fisherman) as the other Rangers enter the room struggling to keep from throwing up it seems; except for Monty who has his large pile of Walnut Wallaroos and he wants them to eat more. What a heartless bastard this Aussie Stereotype is?! I mean they are full to the gills; and he wants them to eat more of his crappy cooking?!

Zipper faints on cue holding his stomach as they sit down at the table and Monty acts like a mother wanting Jimmy to eat his ice cream (in those frozen fruit ads I see in recent years). Chip and Gadget reluctantly grab the cookies as Gadget comments on how clean the room is as Monty agrees with her and he wolfs down the rest of the cookies himself. Well; good for him I suppose as Gadget and Chip throw their cookies underneath the rug while Monty talks about Dale. Chip proclaims that he hopes the old Dale never comes back as Dale gulps as we face to the dreaded black slug and then we return as we see Dale in his room penciling in jobs to do on his slave driving list to DTZ and DTZ just doesn't mind. Man; those aliens must be really bad heels if he LIKES this kind of work. However; DTZ offers to give Dale a spin in his mini spaceship to show his nice side as he snaps his fingers and the spaceship arrives as the door opens. Dale even gets to fly the thing as he hops in and gets even more giddy because it reminds him of the movie: Flying Rutabagas from The Planet....

Staci: Don't say it....!!
Bradley: Uranus!!
Staci: Real mature B-Man!

...and I think Dale tried to say that word Staci doesn't like and yet Dale gets his head stuffed with a helmet. Now there's a trick to shut Bradley up as DTZ presses the neon green Home button (which is totally uncool since it's XBOX 360 colors complete with tacky button to boot.) and the spaceship flies through the entire Rescue Ranger headquarters with sparkles flying around as an effect. Man; that is so Sun Woo-ish of TMS and Sun Woo hasn't even got their dirty, perverted (in an uncool way I might add) on this series yet. Great tie up spin-o-rama from the Rangers when the ship flies outside though the air into space as DTZ waves goodbye to the old Dale which ends the segment 11 and a half minutes in. Solid effort thus far; but I'm not feeling it like in other episodes involving Dale.

After the commercial break; we get a shot of space near Earth (just what we need after Out to Launch) as the spaceship flies into space rapidly and Dale finally gets that goofy helmet off his head; but sadly still doesn't say Uranus. He swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE and violate the rhyming rule of doom to boot as there is static on the radio and the mini television screen turns on to reveal Bric proclaiming that DTZ has come to his senses. You know this alien sucks when he is proclaiming that DALE has come to his senses. Even Chip doesn't proclaim that all of a sudden. They proclaims that the planet Earth is boring which makes them the dumbest aliens in history. We might be vile, obscene, disgusting, careless bitches and bastards alike; but we are hardly boring to anyone. The spaceship flies around space with the greatest of ease as it zooms towards the bigger spaceship which apparently has changed it's paint job from yellow to red since the last time we saw it. That is the first logic break of the episode at the 12 minute mark; which is better than most episodes nowadays.

You usually get the first one thirty seconds in (Cleaniness Is Next to Badliness) as Dale is scared of something and the spaceship bounces inside the mini spaceship parking lot (check the blue floats on the bottom of the ships) and lands on one of the blue platform. Then the hatch opens and Dale is REJECTED! SICK, SICK bump from Dale as he literally lands on his hand in one of the bumps. Not Baloo sick; but still pretty sick. Dale is goof drunk in front of the computer as the screen turns on and it's Bric again blowing off Dale's goofing around. Yeah; he's the sucky version of Chip as he orders Dale to report to the control room. We fade to black (enough of that guys) as Dale reaches the elevator and it opens as the female voice asks Dale which floor to go to. Dale enters and tells it to go to the control room he guesses. The female voice thanks him as the doors close and Dale gets the shock treatment for his troubles. Dale is SHOCKED and SMOKED (THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATING & DARKWING ...DUCK EPISODES!). HAHA! Dale lands on a red chair in the control room of course.

Bric and Brac arrive as Dale proclaims that they take them to their leader like all good cliché space goofs do. And Dale is such an insane goof so this spot works SO well for him. Bric is confused and Brac tells him to can the Earth humor. Now if this was Aussie Stereotype humor; I would agree with him, but it's not so he should sod off so to speak. Okay; so Brac and Bric are switched so the orange one is Brac which doesn't add or subtract the suckiness from them as a whole. Brac just wants to go home to Fleeblebrox County in the Country of Parts Unknown and wants DTZ to transform which pretty much kills any hope for Dale right there. Bric wants to set course for Unchumk----WHAT?! I fully agree with Brac on THAT one. Bric wants to pick up a few things for his wife from the market. Well; it's nice to know that aliens do have real lives like we do which makes the use of the word alien when it comes to people entering this country even more vile than it ALREADY was. Brac is not amused as the dumb aliens walk off not noticing that Dale hasn't been able to change yet. Damn it! I wanted to see Dale blow his cover and cause an international incident already so we can have an Independence Day parody before it happens. BS&P RULEZ!!

Dale turns his chair around and starts pushing buttons like an idiot because this is like in the movies according to him. The spaceship has turned yellow again on the side middle as it rockets deeper into hyperspace in a funny way. So that logically leads back to the launchpad of Rescue Ranger headquarters as Gadget is in the driver's seat of the Rangerplane praising Dale's efforts and getting off her first golly of episode nearly 13 and a half minutes in after seven minutes of golly free action. Naturally; she talks about thrust coefficients. I swear to god that Kit and Gadget would make a perfect couple: You got fragile ironic emo navigator teaming up with innocent geeky sadist. That would be an awesome ticket BABEE! DTZ is only trying to be useful here as he pops out of the front of the plane and then uses a spool of thread to climb up and insert the toothpaste cap on the front engine. Dale climbs in and buckles up (but Gadget seemly doesn't as he tells Gadget to flip.....THE SWITCH! Gadget gets off golly #3 about eight seconds after the second one and flips the golden switch which has got to be inviting death at this point and of course the Rangerplane flies around the world like a spaceship (and only the Tajmahal in India does any animation whatsoever) and lands back on the launchpad in about ten seconds flat. DTZ jumps down and runs off as Gadget's hair is pulled and her face is in SHOCK as she gets off golly #4 13 seconds after the last one. Well; I see the writers felt that the golly quota wasn't being filled enough in previous episodes.

So we return to space as the spaceship is stopped by the alien police who is writing a ticket for speeding which just makes the human world look so uncivilized in comparison. No wonder people think they want to MURDER our world. They watch this show for pointers as we cut to Bric and Brac whining about their insurance rates. This is why it's important to switch to Geico guys! Because you never know when Insano Daleo will screw with your checkbook. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Brac has sent Dale to his room as Dale walks down the hallway blowing them off for hating him pushing buttons because it's fun see. I personally agree with him; Brac is so Chip-ish even down to the no work rate bylaw now. We then cut to into DTZ's room as the sliding doors open and in comes Dale who sees the mother lode of all buttons, switches, levers (WRONG LEVERS!), knobs and of course lots of electricity to power it all. Just wonderful wonderland for Insano Daleo. Dale jumps on the white platforms onto the platform where the main control panel is located. Dale observes all the neat stuff to use and ponders what they do. I am so waiting with baited breath on all this, I assure thee. The computer speaker proclaims that the button is used for gravity control and that speaker look just cracks me up. Looks like Robert Downey Junior's mouth logo as Dale thanks the female voice just to show good manners as I wait with baited breath over the screwing of Bric and Brac. He pushes the red button of doom and it doesn't disappoint as Bric and Brac go flat as pancakes with alarms wailing. HAHA! Now Dev Ross is FEELING IT! Now it's up to 12 times the standards of Fleeblebrox which proves that the planet is on Earth somewhere near Parts Unknown.

Bric and Brac slide on the floor wanting to MURDER DTZ as we cut back to Dale struggling and managing to pull the red lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that cancels artificial gravity (so sezs the female voice) and Dale floats up and does the backstroke for my amusement. So the sliding doors open and in comes the party pooping aliens as they see Dale flying around some more to amuse me. Dale lands on near the wall and does his victory pose as Bric barks like a sealion in response. Too funny as Brac of course grabs the tail like Chip bonking Dale on the head. As least it isn't the real Dale getting it as the adult aliens exit stage left as Brac pushes the lever (WRONG LEVER!) just as Dale does some more flying. Dale does MAN-SIZED bump splat on the floor; eyes become dizzy; Dale cuts Star Trek promo; and Dale gets knocked out cold. Brac proclaims this as very strange. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.

They decide to cook something up which allows Bric to ask Dale if he wants a snack in which Dale wakes up right on cue. So we logically go into the dining area as Dale has his white bib on and handles the goofy (well to him anyway) fork and knife. Well; this is an alien spaceship; so it's not a BS&P RULEZ spot. Bric and Brac arrive with the plate and the silver platter as they reveal the best snack in the universe which is the erkburgles. UH OH! I just knew those blue squid things would come into play somehow. Dale is SHOCKED, APPALLED and DISGUSTED (in that order and I don't blame him) and Dale bails down to floor level as he protests this outrage because he wants a hot dog. Bric and Brac are now SHOCKED AND APPALLED (in that order) because he's becoming an earthling. HA HA! Now that is so ironic on SO MANY LEVELS! Bric and Brace proclaim that they must take him back to Fleenbrox for treatment as Dale touches the blue squids and they bite his finger in a cute fashion as Brac proclaims that he's sorry that it had to come to this as he takes his chef's hat out and points a freeze ray at Dale (!!!) and that ends the segment sixteen minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see the spaceship flying around as we cut to inside as freezing and missing are going on between Dale and Brac. Man; this Brac guy is also crappy at shooting a FREEZING RAY at someone. I can understand missing with bullet shooting guns; or even a regular laser, but a freeze ray?! Methinks Brace should go to NRA's Training School. He continues to shoot to freeze (and miss) as Brac calls this for his own good because they want to cure him from being an earthling. How about we cure Brac of sucking for a start, and then maybe Dale will reconsider the offer?! Dale runs like a chipmunk as Brac freezes the floor and Dale realizes the dangers of Mr. Icy Roads as I have. And he manages to slide past Bric and past the door into his room as Bric does the whirlwind spot and get frozen by Brac. Finally; a good and fitting spot from Brac. I hate whirlwind spots because that is just what this episode needs: More windbags. Excellent bump into the door by Brac by the way. We logically return to Rescue Ranger Headquarters as we see the Rangers watching a sci-fi flick of a parody of Alien (thank you Acorn Cafe for the reference) as Ripper Ridley is inside the alien spaceship packing a flamethrower or bullet shooting gun down a hallway and the thing shoots lasers.

Huh? I thought the flamethrower and bullet shooting guns were legal in DTVA. I thought they were ABOVE this TMNT...Oh wait; never mind what I said as the Rangers are showing a movie to allow Dale to relax because his sense of fun is lost. Maybe so; but his sense of amusing me is still perfectly there. Gadget then gets PISSED off at Monty's being hypocritical. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Man; Gadget sounds so...bitchy today. Although Gadget does admit that he has been acting weird even by Dale's high standards of weirdness as Dale manages to sweep the floors with only his mind. HAHA! I love DTZ; he is making Dale so awesome even if he isn't Dale by a longshot. Chip and Monty try to suck up to Dale with the monster movie as Monty calls it a real ripper (another reference to the Alien movie); and Dale whines because he wants to dust the leaves now. Yeah; Daleo is Insano. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm....DTZ grabs the broom on cue as Gadget gets off golly #5 for the episode at the 17 minute mark and is concerned about him overworking. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic Gadget love.

So we return to the thrilling crap shoot freeze sequence in the spaceship as Brac puts Bric in the warming chamber which looks like a gumball machine minus the coin slot and slot for the gumball of course. Brac blows him off as it's Umchuk-Five as the place of record. Okay; we fixed that problem so let's move on. We then cut to the Space Pod Room helpfully said as such by the ever drunk female voice as Dale reappears fuzzed and dizzy again. Man; that laser teleportation device is a KILLER BABEE! Dale thanks the computer and hops onto the floating platforms and into the mini spaceship. He closes the glass hatch and pushes some buttons as we cut to outside the main spaceship as the door side opens and out pops the spaceship riding into deep space as Dale flies around a planet for a while which magically changes to a shot of earth for logic break #2 for the episode at near the 18 minute mark. The mini space ship dives into earth and takes a dive into the pond below Central Park and dives underneath the water like a sub. Dale resurfaces walking out of the lake like a goof as we head back to the living room of Rescue Ranger Headquarters as the movie MUST CONTINUE!

Gadget is slightly scared, DTZ is enjoying himself (DUH!) and everyone else is stunned and shocked. We cut to the scene as the Alien Parody does the 12 mouth bite on Ripper's nose. I guess you can bite a female nose as long as it is an ALIEN doing it. But when you see humans do it; BS&P must RULEZ BABEE! Ripperly shoots the laser gun into the screen as DTZ laughs his ass off. I guess it doesn't take much to amuse him even by Dale's low standards. He calls it comedy as he runs off stage right to make popcorn as the other Rangers are SHOCKED by that response. DTZ goes to the window and sees Dale climbing up the tree like a chipmunk. DTZ panics and then screams that there are ALIENS coming and the other Rangers scream and panic right on cue. Dale climbs onto Monty's belly and pulls on the shirt as Monty no sells because that is the old Dale. Ummm; not quite Aussie Stereotype. The old Dale usually does that to Chip; not you. And of course Gadget proclaims that it's only a movie just as Dale arrives to yell aliens and that is enough for all the Rangers to run away on cue. I guess DTZ has turned heel which is quite a surprise considering the innocent babyface routine he has been shooting for in this entire episode. There is hope for Dev Ross in this DTVA scene....

So; Dale and DTZ run to each other and blow each other off because he claims to be the real Dale. Of course we know the fake one is the one who cannot transform back into an alien period. And that leads to the funniest form of lame chipmunk wrestling I have ever seen. I mean; these two fight like girls so well that Dexter and Madrak would hang their heads in shame. Hollywood Hogan would be proud. And of course one of them goes for the red cherry nose because that is always funny to see from childish pranksters. And the old blow up fist and bonk on the head spot occurs which indicates that he's DTZ; but I'm guessing that it's not knowing the screwy logic of some writers. That leads to the FCC FRIENDLY DUSTCLOUD OF DOOM as the violence and funny keep coming. Usually; this means Dale makes the babyface comeback and wins; but it's Disney so I doubt it. The male Rangers run in before the one outdo the work rate of every character in the series just on that spot; but Chip get REJECTED! HAHA!

Good for them; I hate it when Chip tries to kill Dale's work rate. Sadly; Monty doesn't and he pulls them by the shirt. The Dale's phantom punch each other and I speak for everyone and (unintentionally) Gadget in this one: Punch the Aussie Stereotype in the gut! That will make him submit. And naturally; Monty lets go of them without us actually seeing them (or it's an edit by BS&P to prevent the awesome double punch spot; never mind that Kit punched Baloo hard in the midsection in The Idol Rich) and wonders who the real alien is and of course both of them accuse the other one. Geez; you think that those two would self incriminate themselves in this situation? They then blow each other off; and one of them raspberries the other which is fighting words in the world of Dale so they start roughhousing again. This is just plain awesome to see as one of the Dale's even has the knowledge to deliver a Boston Crab which indicates that the one doing the move is the real Dale as rumbling ends all the fun. Damn; I knew those two loser alien would ruin the fun somehow.

Zipper goes outside and squeaks as the Ranger follow as the big yellow spaceship lands onto the ground to waste more time as the two Dales both climb to ground level with the Rangers. The yellow hatch opens and out pops Bric and Brac as Bric blows off Brac for cooking him instead of thawing him. Considering all the # marks on him; I agree with him blowing Brac off. Brac blows him off as Monty cannot believe he is seeing a real spaceship with space aliens. Considering that these Rangers are alien beings in real life; color me ironic here. Brac demands that DTZ go home and not play games anymore. That leads to the Dales to order the other one to go home with them for more amusement. Brac plugs his ears and has had enough which just cements his alien Chip image right there as he orders Bric to bring out the guns and Bric sells as he uses the stare on the spaceship and throws about 25 guns on front of the nose more or less. That's enough for Gadget to get off golly #6 for the episode because this is SERIOUS BABEE! Brac basically proclaims that DTZ show himself or they'll vaporize Earth since it is his favorite thing see.

Gadget proclaims that they cannot blow up the planet because the aliens would die as well in which Bric and Brac blow up and explode in a really nasty sequence which seems to completely wipe Gadget off the face of the earth. HOLY (insert swear word here)?! Did Eisner send a message to Gadget here or what?! And naturally the alien reappear but Gadget doesn't. I...HATE....YOU....MICHAEL EISNER!! It just makes me like Bob Iger just a little more even if it isn't much to begin with. DTZ proclaims that they are bluffing and Dale now knows who DTZ is; so he runs into the spaceship and the two loser aliens think it's DTZ. However; Dale runs back out with the sliver platter (you just knew this would be used as the finish) as Dale sets it down and DTZ's mouth waters like crazy as the veil is lifted and it's the blue slugs which seemly have turned dark green like slime now. I guess that means they are over ripe now. DTZ goes crazy as Chip wants to know what those are and DTZ finally changes back for real and jumps onto the platter of slugs; only for Dale to shut the lid on him.

Well; the aliens probably don't breathe either; so it's apporos. Monty blows this all off because of the way some people would lose control. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Psychological Projection much there Aussie Stereotype. Even Gadget (who magically reappears for no rhyme or reason) and Chip think Monty is being hypocritical here so you know it's too obvious. DTZ eats and Brac is impressed with Dale's ability to control DTZ and Gadget hugs Dale because he saved the world from alien destruction which puts him into the front running for getting the date from her. Dale blushes as everyone is glad the old Dale is back. Monty shakes Dale's arm hard as he proclaims space aliens to be more boring than Dale. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments as we zoom into DTZ sticking out his tongue on the platter and that ends the episode at 21:16. Started off slow; but got awesome at the end. A few logic breaks prevented the full monty however. **** ¼ (85%).


Let's see: Dale screws aliens and saves the days. That always is one that will make me like an episode like this. I personally felt Dev Ross told a real solid story at first that really didn't have the awesome feel of Dale and felt kind of slow for the most part; but once Dale got into the alien spaceship; he basically carried the episode on his back kicking and screaming. DTZ was also great playing Dale's role and making him even more insane than even Dale COULD ever be. Bric was okay; Brac was below average as he was just annoying at times and was a total crap shoot of an alien. He is also worse than Chip. I did like the alien parody and it's nice to know that in DTVA; you can bite a female on the nose as long as you are an alien which makes the Rangers alien by proxy. I also loved the Dales fighting like a girl at the climax; it is so Dale-ish to do that spot. I didn't like the massive logic break near the end where the aliens blew themselves up to prove that they could come back from the dead. The spot itself wasn't a problem as much as when they blew themselves up; Gadget was basically in the shot and vaporized only to magically come back next to Chip afterwards which is a Chuck Tately style logic break. I mean; there was no sign of her moving an inch in that spot. That was basically the only thing they did wrong in this episode in my view although Gadget saying golly six times and Monty being himself doesn't help all that much either. Overall; a great episode and I look forward to the last Disney Channel preview episode: Kiwi's Big Adventure which is Dale channeling the powers of Bob Orton Junior. Yeap; the old broken arm in the cast trick; only with his toe. So.....

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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