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Kiwi's Big Adventure
Dale: Bob Orton Jr.'s Pet When He Was a Kid...
And yes; the WWE Hall of Fame star does play a huge role in what Dale does in this episode as you will see. Well; we have finally reached the end of the Disney Channel Preview episodes so let's rant on and find out if this one can be a good one shall we....?!
This episode is written by Julia Jane Roberts for the first time since Gadget Goes Hawaiian. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. The animation is done by TMS Entertainment in maybe one of the last times you will see them before some of the animators jumped ship to form Walt Disney Animation Japan.
We begin this one in a palm tree area with the pan shot of doom as we cut to ground level near a tree as Dale is sniffing like a dog for something and the other Rangers follow. Dale does the old Snoopy sharp pointing spot to amuse me as we see a slightly destroyed clearing as Chip proclaims that it looks like they drag it through here. I'm guessing that it is the Rangerplane and Gadget confirms all to me on THAT one as she sets the record for getting the word golly in at 23 seconds. Monty proclaims that they don't fly it because they are primitives. Yeah; like they are so sub-human right? So what is Monty's excuse then? Monty has the EAR OF NOISE on as his Peter Cullen voice is grating my nerves even more. We pan some more and then cut to a native village (check the straw houses, destroyed airplane, and dancing natives around a bonfire) chanting roodle, roodle, wa la according to Disney Caption which is BS since they sound like roo, roo, wa, wa. How can Disney Caption make that simple of a mistake? Oh wait; it's because they can and they think the hearing impaired are dumb. Just like those who think of “casual” right Mr. Hardcore?!
Ummm...moving along; we cut to a shot of the Rangerplane and then pan over to the side of the airplane as the Rangers pop up and Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (Crikey!) as there is a kiwi cult. So we are in New Zealand then. Man; this preview has been so confusing....and yes folks; DTVA actually allowed the word cult in their animation. In fact; this would not be the last time they allowed the word. Dale wonders why they want the plane and Monty proclaims that they worship it like some god which is reference #10 (16 for DTVA) for this series and the first for this episode. Gadget is stunned by the kiwi's like for the immortal Rangerplane while getting off golly #2 for the episode barely a minute in. Gadget wonders if it's still airworthy so Monty decides that he'll run interference and has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN which involves the sole colored feathers! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. Put Michael Eisner back in the Phantom Zone right now! I just knew Monty was up to no good. He more of a spawn of Satan than Drake Mallard ever was. Ponder that for a minute and despair.
We cut to the kiwi's dancing in absurd dresses which makes me think: Cult or Fashion File. AHHAHAHAHAHA! PECK! OUCH! Ummmm....And what is up with the nests with eggs on their heads? Is that some cruel trick Tad Stones gave to Julia Jane as a dare to be manly or something? Good dancing though as we see the masters of bad disguises stumble in. Naturally; Chip and Monty are on bottom (what a shock?) as Gadget gets to wear the tightest philiac symbol ever on her nose. Well; that will MURDER her limp as a dishrag image good. Dale talks about apple strudel and Chip blows him off. How dare you talk about the Rock's strudel in that matter?! Gadget wants Monty to dance closer to the platform and Monty is accepting it as a dare. Oh man; this is going to be brutal, I just know it. Monty dances badly with the kiwi dancers around the bonfire and then does a pretty impressive sidestep towards the pathway up to the stairs (complete with torches). Now that's how to practice the fine art of not being seen: Monty being blind as a bat because he is walking backwards up the ramp.
Gadget protests this dangerous and reckless dancing; but Monty blows it off because they're too dumb..ERRR...I mean too busy boogieing to notice them. I betcha Monty trips and they blow their cover right there. I check the DVD....Not really; they bump into the high kiwi chief (check the staff he is welding) but he simply blows them off because the party hasn't started yet and then walks off stage left. The Rangers sigh in relief as the chief blocks the entrance to the Ranger Plane and the roodle chants continue in unison. The high kiwi chief has a flight medal on his head, a plunger spear (BS&P RULEZ!), two eggs in a nest on his head and a jelly roll necklace. He has a surprise for them which is that the kiwi can return to the skies. If he wants to return to the skies; audition for TaleSpin...Bird Brain!! I see he was the originator of the phrase: In this very ring (in this case camp) as the chief proclaims that a kiwi will wake the great flying god from it's slumber which is god reference #2 for the episode (#11 for the series). Man; Stones really overloaded that word into the series. No wonder anime purists hate dubs. He then introduces the medicine bird (Read: priest) which is none other than...wait for it....Pepto Gizmo. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hang your head in shame over that one you poor excuse of a upset stomach relief cough syrup! Take one guess what they are parodying here. And then Pepto Gizmo comes through harshly as he wears a watch on his head, dice necklace and looks sick in some form of sick irony. Now there's a doctor who apparently quit medical school. Must have been due to the “No Creationist Mumbo-Jumbo Allowed” sign hanging in the front of the school. AHHAHAHAHAHA!
And then he goes into his pants in such a way that it's like he's about to yank out his manhood and pisses on the Rangerplane. OH MY...Oh wait; he just pulls out the PIXIE DUST OF SATAN, my mistake. Oh wait; that is somehow WORSE!! It sprinkles onto the Rangerplane as I can just see the PTC going to their e-mail account as we speak even though there is nothing they can do about it. Pepto proclaims that it will do nicely (EWWWWW!) and then starts chanting his goofy chant and of course it does nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Maybe they should FIRE Pepto Gizmo now. Then he can start his career as a quacko medicine producer. I hear he was the one who worked with the industry of male enhancement pills. Oh come on! You saw that joke coming a mile away. The chief gets into his face as Pepto proclaims that it's an equatorial flying god for god reference #3 (#12 for the series). Pepto tries again and that nets nothing again.
Maybe he should sprinkle more pixie dust; or maybe even the forces of Satan hate this guy. Chief is not amused so Pepto goes for the direct assault and flaps the wings like a birdmen which causes Pepto to be repelled and he takes some of the sickest MAN-SIZED bumps this side of Kit Cloudkicker backwards and on his head. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. On the watch he's wearing on his head. Lucky; his bumping actually destroys the Rescue Rangers cover when he falls onto the grass. Now THAT is a creative way to blow someone's cover. Dale is screwed as Pepto calls them demons and evil spirits. Monty doesn't get what he is saying and Gadget has that look of: He's talking about you, you Aussie Stereotype. Chip proclaims that they are the Rescue Rangers and they want their plane back as Dale slams the fedora hat over Chip's eyes just to be Dale. The high chief is not happy that they want their god reference #4 (#13 for the series) and demands that they capture them. You know something Tad: If they are liberally using the word god in this series; I don't see why it's so bad to go all the way and have the chief say: Kill them all! It'll only make BS&P slightly less hypocritical than they ALREADY are as it is. And boy; the acting is terrible too as the native grab their spears and they are not plunger spears. Man; the high chief looks like a real pussy now as Monty does a really good tossing of Gadget love as she lands in the Rangerplane while the native blitz up to the platform. Gadget checks the controls by pulling levers (WRONG LEVERS!) and Zipper dives in and destroys all of their nest hats with eggs which apparently is their super powers because the power of suggestion knocks them all down and off the platform. Monty praises the logic break (BOO!); but nearly gets MURDERED by a spear by an inch as his goggle hat gets stabbed (YAY! Sort of.).
Monty grabs the spear and cuts the vine and does a Tarzan spot which kicks those beak brains completely off the platform. That's the spirit Aussie Stereotype; lend two feet and a big pot belly! AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.. Chip tries to crank up the Rangerplane; but no dice as Gadget is panicking over getting out of here. High Chief tries to come in from behind or in this case Dale's behind. So Gadget grabs what looks to be a woodpecker type dilido (WHAT THE HELL WAS TMS SMOKING THERE?) and flings it over her shoulder which completely MURDERS the high chief complete with MAN-SIZED bump. HAHA! Now that's a quality use of the ultra ninja powers there Albert Walker. Monty hops in as Gadget tries to fly away but the Rangerplane is stuck and so Dale wants to give it a push. Now logic and reason would point to the plunger feet being the cause of the Rangerplane being grounded, but this is Dale we are talking about and Dale decides to push on the wings to make them flap like a birdmen on chipmunk laughing syndrome...or Chip laughing syndrome to be more precise. And so Dale runs over pushing more and finds that the plunger feet are the cause and then invokes MOLLY VIOLENCE on it.
Now here's the funny part: Remember Bearing up Baby where Dale did the same thing to Humprey The One Joke Bear and he no sold the shot? Well; Dale does the exact same thing and basically breaks his foot with a dramatic oversell of the foot grabbing spot. Man; those buzzard beaks must have put lead in those plungers before setting it down on there. No wonder Pepto's magic trick failed so badly. HAHA! Chip grabs Dale and gets him onto the Rangerplane as the high chief wants to bring them down; but the spears keep missing. AIM FOR THE BALLOON YOU BUZZARD BAST---...Oh wait; they did (helpfully labeled as such when Gadget yells Look out.) as the Rangerplane flies away like air coming out of a balloon (which is apporos in this case) and it lands deeper in the jungle about 10 miles away from the village. The natives are SHOCKED and APPALLED by this as we cut to ground level deeper in the jungle as the Rangers are okay for the most part and the Rangerplane suffers little damage as a result. Gadget is worried about the rocket boosters as Monty decides to walk away and find some grub to eat and Zipper follows close behind. Dale offers to help as he climbs out of the plane and lands on the injured foot so hard that he breaks it some more and more foot grabbing ensues. Now remember that Dale has a legit foot injury because it plays right into the awesomeness that is yet to come.
Gadget goes over to help Dale and tells him to rest the broken toe and Chip; bastion of sensitivity blows him off and whines. Gadget corrects herself and proclaims that the toe must rest and the rest of the body must rest with it. Okay; I got worse problems than Dale right now injury wise (bad hip/right leg pain); but Dale has a better work rate than I do so I cannot complain which is exactly what Chip does. Gadget then proclaims that his toe might be broken (and BS&P in most cartoons would tone that line down good) and Dale then gets inspired as he breaks the ice and accepts the injury after recoiling that it might be broken; even going as far as blowing Chip off with a well deserved raspberry. HAHA! I smell Bob Orton Junior angle commencing here and that angle is always fun to watch. See; back in wrestling around 1985ish; Bob Orton Jr. broke his arm in a match with Jimmy “Superfly” Sunka. The question on if that is kayfabe (canon/storyline whatever) is debatable; but let's go along for the sake of argument that he broke his arm legit. He put it in a cast and continued to wrestle with it using the cast as a weapon to win matches by dirty methods.
It was also discovered many weeks later that Bob Orton's arm had healed fully; but Bob kept wearing the cast implying that the arm was still broken and thus milking the injury for almost a year. Of course; having Roddy Piper call the doctor a quack in the scene where Bob Orton had his arm tested by the doctor was downright hilarious. I would not be shocked if Dale was watching some old wrestling shows during this time period because Dale's reaction to this is clear that he is going to milk the broken toe for all that it is worth. Chip is downright PISSED as he instantly realizes what Dale is up to; but since Gadget is there to prevent Chip from blowing him off because Dale did injure his toe legit. Chip is angry because Dale is MILKING the injury to get out of work; even though in an ironic twist, screwing Chip over by not working is about 90% of Dale's workrate as a character. I know this is going to end badly for Dale; but Dale will make this a funny ride I assure thee....and who is to say that Chip isn't jealous of losing the lead in the “Get date from Gadget” angle either.
So we logically cut to a grassy leaf bed underneath a tree as Dale is drinking coconut milk and waving a leaf to blow wind into his face while his entire foot is bandaged. See what I mean by broken foot instead of broken toe. Dale is wasting no time in milking the injury already. Could he be a pet that Bob Orton Junior kept during his WWE days? I SMELL A FANFIC COMING! Chip and Monty use some bamboo shoots to prop the Ranger plane up; but Gadget proclaims that without a new balloon they are stuck. You know something Gadget-love; you need to invest in large patches if one pop from a spear is what it takes to ground your plane for life. Then again; I think she's milking the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT here which is a disturbing site to see. Monty does not like this as Gadget hops down because he believes the kiwis are similar to his BS story about cannibal canaries in New Guinea. Man; it's stereotype after stereotype from the Aussie Stereotype. No wonder Disney is so hamstrung. He makes TaleSpin stereotypes look original.
Gadget however has a plan to float the Rangerplane so they can sail it home. She is no longer milking this which is the right decision from Ms. Roberts Lewald. So we get the scene changer of doom as Gadget and Monty pull on the engine cap of the Rangerplane and slide it across the ground. I think Gadget's holding of Monty there is a wee bit over the top for a TV-Y show don't you think? Chip of course gets the back side alone as Gadget stops because Dale is way behind them as Dale walks with a huge limp with the walking stick as Chip gleefully blows him off for it. I have never seen such a paranoid party pooper in all me life there pally. Oh great; now I'm starting to sound like the Aussie Stereotype. Dale apologizes for his gaffe as Gadget goes all mother on us because he shouldn't be walking on the injured foot. I agree; even with a broken toe, you have to be really careful so I just think Chip is doing his usual “No Workrate in Dale Episodes” mantra again. Chip is not amused as Gadget rearranges the balloon so it makes a perfect umbrella on top and Dale slowly hops in and hooks his safety belt on; selling the whole thing to the hilt just to piss Chip off. HA HA HA HA! HAHAHA! HA HA HA HA HA! SPLAT! OUCH! Ummm....
Another scene changer and we have Monty and Chip pushing at the back of the Ranger plane as Gadget is in the front seat and Dale is the backseat driver. Dale gets bumped around and then he turns around and blows off Chip and Monty for trying to damage his injured foot more. I approve because...say it with me...the toe is legit injured. Dale is merely milking the injury for all it is worth. Chip then challenges Dale to push the Rangerplane on a dare and Dale like a brave idiot accepts the dare as he climbs down and manages to keep the foot from touching the ground. However; when he starts pushing the plane he is walking on the injured foot and then sells it in a laughable fashion. HAHA! Dale would make a perfect pro wrestler: as Eugene II. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Chip is not buying this; but Monty is confused as Gadget runs over and asks Dale what happened and Dale proclaims that he was trying to help but he proclaims that his right foot is injured. HAHA! And naturally Gadget blows off Chip for making him accept the dare. SCORE! Now that is reverse psychology Dale style.
Dale limps back into the Rangerplane as Gadget blows off the Rangers for the bumps to boot. DOUBLE SCORE! Monty and Zipper feel shameful for their action and even scared to a certain extent as Chip is getting more pissed off by the second. So we head to the edge of the river as Monty wants to give the Rangerplane the old heave ho and they do which ends with the Rangerplane in the water and Monty, Zipper and Chip drowning in a wave of water on the drop. HAHA! I think TMS needs to cut down on the water wave spots a bit. It's quite overkill for a bunch of rodents. Dale is asleep in the backseat as Chip and Monty are all wet, HAHA! Gadget tells them to hop in and they can clean up later....I hope it's not on Dale because I can smell Chip mis-interperting that statement right now judging by his face. Monty gets in the front seat (which has to be painful for Gadget love) and Chip takes the backseat as he wants to MURDER Chip but the stink eye from Dale prevents that. Gadget then orders everyone to paddle. Oh man; Gadget love need to rephrase her orders there as Chip gets the evil Max stare (and anyone who watches two episodes of Max & Ruby know what THAT implies) and instead of MURDERING Dale with the paddle he asks if Dale should paddle. Which Gadget responds with a no of course as Dale goes back to sleep again. HAHA! You have no one but yourself to blame for that one Chipper. You should have bashed him with the paddle and takes your chances with Gadget. Chip gets pissed off as usual as the Rangerplane paddles down the river out of sight.
Sadly; we head back to where Dale lost a piece of bandage from his foot as Pepto grabs it and proclaims that those Ranger demons have been there. Yeah; like Julia is going to forget THAT character and write him out of the show. That is pure ratings gold BABEE! He gets off god reference #5 (#14 for this series alone) as his native guards and the high chief follow him. Considering that his magical powers suck; you would think that Pepto would be worm food; but again, RATINGS GOLD BABEE! And then it's god reference #6 and #7 for the episode (#15 & #16 for the series which makes Darkwing Duck look childish in comparison. Oh wait..) as the high chief wonders if the flying god can swim live against a big river demon. UH OH! I think I have a good idea what this chief is talking about. 2:1 odds that it's that recycled crocodile we see often in DTVA cartoons (TaleSpin (P&L Part One, Sound & The Fury etc), Darkwing Duck (Gumbo, Apes of Wrath etc.) etc.) and the kiwi's gasp in horror and thus add evidence to my theory as we cut back to the Rangerplane as it goes down the river as Chip decides to go to the front seat so he cannot whack Dale with the paddle and Monty watches him over as he paddles.
Dale is still sleeping which just goes to show you how close he is to getting to Kit's Miracle Worker Status as a character. Chip then asks the mock question of the boat turning over and Dale swimming as Gadget blows that off because now that they have to be extra careful. I am so loving this and Gadget gets off golly #3 for the episode at the ten minute mark after nine minutes of awesome golly free action. But not god free; no siree! Dale wants some help as he is just becoming awesomely annoying to Chip (YAY!) so Chip does the Max evil stare and proclaims that he will be right there...to MURDER you. Okay; he didn't say the murder part; but it's implied judging by the evil look. Dale wants Chip to fluff his foot cushion which is a pile of leaves because he cannot reach it. Okay; now Dale is really showing off here, ala Kit from Stormy Weather, which suits me very well thank you very much. So Chip comes over and throws Dale overboard! Major, Major heel heat for that spot! Chip then yells at the other Rangers that Dale can swim and Gadget yells at Dale to swim; but Dale cannot swim at all to begin with. UH OH! Chip looks REALLY STUPID now as the water crocodile demon from the sand bank splashes into the water and goes after Dale as the crocodile dashes into the water with the greatest of ease as Dale sputters around to end the segment 10 and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; Chip dives in to save Dale (nice to see him cover his ass on his heartless stupidity there now isn't it?) as the Crocodile snaps his jaw and swims more gleefully as Dale is scared to death out of his wits and then he runs on water stage right! Take that Jesus Christ Superstar! Dale goes past Chip and misses drowning him again (BOO!) as Chip wonders about the injury; but sees the Crocodile and swims stage right as we see Dale running on water complete with Hanna Barbera running animation loop and sound effect. I knew HB cartoons defied the laws of nature and this episode proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. HB must be God. Or not. Chip grabs onto Dale's broken left foot (since that is the one he injured earlier in the episode legit; the right one he is clearly faking.) and dives deeper into the water as the gator misses them by a mile. Oh well; better luck next time. Monty grabs the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE as he cuts Mr. T's infamous “you with the teeth promo”. I don't know what is worse; Mister T making Jimmy the kid who lost his teeth due to illness want to throw himself off a building; or Monty making EVERYONE ELSE do the same thing?
The crocodile is in the whole thing (smart dude for a change) and races stage left as Monty starts roping and it shuts the gator up. Monty proclaims that he never does anything halfway and of course the gator pulls halfway the other way. HAHA! Irony is so damn ironic sometimes as Zipper panics for Monty's safety. I would panic for Monty's leeching of episode quality myself; but whatever. Monty does some barefoot water skiing to waste some time as Chip and Dale dive in and apparently the water destroyed all the bandages on Dale's feet. HEE HEE! Good attention to detail there TMS! Gadget then helps Dale while acting like Rebecca Cunningham on Kit Cloudkicker as Dale climbs up with a struggle and logic break #1 for the episode rears it's ugly head as the bandages on Dale's feet return! How about that?! Dale is truly a god as he does a MAN-SIZED bump with the cast on poor Chip's head. HA HA HA HA HA! HAHAHAHA! HA HA HA HA HA! SPLAT! OUCH! Ummm....Chip sputters like he's Dale's bitch as Monty and Croc continue to do the waterskiing spot some more as they turn around the bend allowing Monty to blow the gator demon off. Gadget yells that they are coming as she gets into the backseat and adjusts the red balloon and it's Rescue Rangers away 12 minutes in as the plane turns around on cue.
The crocodile snaps the rope (YAY!) and Monty is so (insert swear word here) as Croc bounces Monty into the air and if he lands dead in the crocodile's stomach than I will give him the highest paid position in DTVA. And thus that is EXACTLY what happens?! WAHOO! I am so smart! I am so smart! SMRT..I mean SMART! The Rangers acting on that spot is absolutely terrible and shrill even by cartoon standard as Zipper decides to work in his ten seconds of work in the episode as he eyes towards the Croc's eyes and invokes the JESSE THE BODY SPECIAL TIMES TWO. That is so Gosalyn and Sean Malstromish of you there Zippo buddy Zippo pal! That allows Monty to climb up like a staircase and opens the mouth to escape. Well; you just knew Monty would live through the acid bath he SHOULD have got. BS&P RULEZ BABEE! The boat comes as Monty invokes the tail tickle on the roof of the mouth and the Crocodile sneezes on cue which shoots Monty out like a cannon and he nails the balloon and then gets catapulted down right beside Dale who bumps around just to be Dale of course.
Gadget and Chip row for their lives as the Crocodile blitzes after them; which leads to the Rangerplane Boat getting stuck on the rocks. Okay; that was a wee bit contrived there mates as the boat is stuck according to Dale. Luckly; Croc is too dumb as he headbutts the boat and that frees the boat easily. Nice to see the crocodile was on the ball there eh?! Nice bump though. And now the crocodile is stuck (what a surprise?) as the Rangerplane floats on calmer waters and Monty laughs him off calling him Fang Face. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Monty tries to relax as Gadget panics because now they are going over a waterfall. Dammit! I knew it would get involved in this sequence of events somehow. Chip tries to paddle; but it's no good as the Rangerplane is about nine inches from going overboard; but the Crocodile appears OUT OF NOWHERE and flings the Rangerplane onto the grass plain. That would be logic break #2 for the episode; although that was a neato spot. Croc then loses his bearings and the battle of the waterfall as he goes over the falls in Warner Brothers fashion and falls into the abyss below as Monty waves bye bye to the Croc. I doubt that this the last we see of it in this episode by the way.
Chip panics on cue because now they cannot go back and Dale pulls on a vine and proclaims that they can climb down with the Rangerplane; but Gadget refuses because..say it with me...Dale is badly injured. I betcha Chip gets pissed off on that. I check the DVD....Not really as Chip makes a good point because he has to get down somehow. Chip might be a paranoid fuddy-duddy; but he's not a completely heartless bastard. Gadget has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind to counter that problem though as we get the scene changer again as it is BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Read: Sunset) as the Rangers use a pulley system to lower the Rangerplane and Dale down. Ah Gadget; the ultimate sympathy character for sneaky, fake injury babyfaces the world over. Sadly; the plan isn't working all that well as the pulley is snapping and Dale is bumping all over the place and hanging on for dear life on the nose of the Rangerplane engine. No wonder Chip accepted this plan so easily. I just knew Gadget's innocent sadism would come into play in this episode somehow. I think Dale now wishes he didn't milk the injury at all.
Dale gets back up to the backseat as he protests this outrage as we cut back to the top as Chip and Monty are lowering the twisted vines as Chip blows off Monty again just to be a piss ant. Sadly; the twisted vines are snapping on the sharp rocks (What a shock?) and the rope snaps completely and Dale takes about 20 MAN-SIZED bumps (seriously) and crashes into the jungle below as the Rangers acting suddenly becomes a million times better. I guess someone has to die legit to make them act properly. And man; even Kit didn't take this much abuse in the Plunder and Lightning movie and that was about 66 minutes longer than this episode. The Rangers climb down to the bottom on ropes as the Rangerplane manages to be undamaged and Dale is limping badly even for someone faking the injury. Gadget is first on the scene and she orders Dale to lie down and blows him off for overdoing it. Umm; this plan was YOUR idea Gadget love. And how is Dale supposed to be awesome if he doesn't do his workrate for crying out loud?! So Gadget starts using sticks and bandages to wrap Dale's left arm as Dale protests that he is all right. After that crash? I think Dale has lost all sense of reality even in his own insane mind.
Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug again. Just what this episode and my rant needed.....
So we go to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After dark) as we get a shot of the damaged Rangerplane as Gadget, Monty and Chip attend to the fire and Chip starts mocking Dale as we pan left over to Dale who looks like he is about to be nailed to a cross soon and this is a demonstration of it all. Oh that cooky Gadget Hackwrench you little devil worshiping sadist. And speaking of Gadget; she comes over with some grapes to give to Dale for supper and Dale gets giddy for about three seconds and then starts selling pain and suffering again. I think I'm starting to believe Gadget KNOWS that Dale is milking it and she's just playing along to teach Dale a lesson. In what; I don't know. Gadget uses the fork to feed Dale like a little baby child and Chip gets all flustered again as Monty comes over and proclaims that he wouldn't mind breaking his own head in if only to be pampered by Gadget. Me neither for that matter; although with Monty, I hope the shot kills him; but that would be asking too much at this point. And Chip does the Gruffi pose and admits outright that Dale is faking his injuries. No Chipper; he's MILKING an slightly injured toe for my pleasure.
And Monty takes Dale's side of course as he thinks a pretty face can scramble a brain. Wow; that's actually close to being sexist there you Aussie Stereotype. Chip goes over and sits on the log to sulk as Monty comes over with Zipper in tow; as Monty remembers one of his BS stories on meeting a little marmoset from Marseilles once; but Chip cuts off the BS story (YAY!) because he has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN to screw Dale over. Well; we have six minutes to go; so this milking injury angle has to end at some point. Monty puts down the food as Monty and Chip run down into the grass and decide to play peeping tom on Dale who is just enjoying himself. Monty calls it a little cloak and dagger skills which is absolutely true; but Gadget comes up from behind and blows them off for running off like that. HAHA! I am so loving this episode as Monty, Chip and Zipper stammer like Honker after Drake bullies him. Monty then confesses that Chip thinks Dale is faking the injuries and now Gadget is the one who is REALLY PISSED as she blows Chip off big time for being such a heartless bastard. I approve of this since Dale is milking the injury; not faking it.
There is a difference and Chip cannot tell which one it is. Chip tells Gadget to watch Dale from the grass and they do as Dale of course is all right as he does a picture perfect step on the plate and eats it in one gulp. HAHA! And now Gadget is EVEN MORE PISSED...and you never PISS off Gadget; no matter what. See Dirty Rotten Diapers. Time to shake Dale until he rattles and then she'll trash the Fake Injured Insano Nut~! AHHAHAHAHA! Gadget turns around stomping her foot as Chip rubs it in slightly as he calls out for Monty; but we pan northeast to see the Kiwi Cult of Doom has tied up Monty and Zipper! UH OH! This is going to be a problem as the Kiwi guards surround Gadget and Chip and they get tied up and that officially ends the segment 17 and a half minutes in. I should point out this; if this were today in the new Disney (a) Gadget would have played along and then reveal that she was in on the act all along at the end and (b) Gadget would have escaped with Dale and not be tied up and roughhoused by the Kiwis. I think you can guess why.
After the commercial break; we head back to the destroyed plane in the Kiwi village as the Rangers (minus Dale, DUH) are tied up to the propeller of the big plane as the high Kiwi Chief proclaims the return of the flying god reference #8 (#17 for the series) which of course is the damaged Rangerplane. Do you notice logic break #3 for the episode? How did they recover the plane without SEEING Dale?! Anyhow; the chief proclaims that the Ranger demons will make the flying god reference #9 (#18 for the series) and ties the record for most references to god in a single episode in DTVA. How TaleSpin got more mature than this series and only used the word god ONCE is beyond me? Jymn Magon is such a freakin genius that it isn't funny? The Rangers tell the Kiwis that the Rangerplane is useless more or less; but they no sell like the cult that they are and they will make the flying god reference #10 (#19 for the series) by grabbing Zipper. Wow; this cult actually has a brain...not to mention a record of the first episode in DTVA history to use the word god more than ten times.
TaleSpin fans must be crying in their Krackertoa Specials over THAT one...NOT!! Pepto gets Zipper as the cult members all roodle in response. Well; it is a cult so it makes perfect sense to be easily amused at this point. So we pan over northeast to see Dale climb up the tree branch as he proclaims that he has got to do something. I just love it when the one who is responsible for this mess gets to redeem himself. He climbs some more and then trips on the bandages; taking a pratfall. HAHA! I know the finish to this episode in advance; but I'll save the point until then because it plays an important part in the entire episode itself. Dale tries to untie the bandages; but he only succeeds in hogtying himself with them. HAHA! Dale whines that he wishes that he NEVER milked the injury. I know he said fake a broken toe; but he was injured at the start anyway, so I'm showing the difference here. We then cut to Pepto dropping Zipper on the ground and then he rains various sharp metal objects on him calling them magic totems. Now that is really pushing the limits of being a creepy cult as we then cut to an S-curve tree branch as Dale continues to hop around trying to untie the bandages from his foot; but bounces off of the tree and it's time for some bandage bungie jumping. HAHA! Sadly; it blows his cover as the Kiwi Chief proclaims him as the final demon and that he flies as he is forced to duck. Man; there is a lot of references to demon in this episode as well as god. Gadget is happy that Dale is here; and probably going to be MURDERING Dale good when they get out of this episode alive I assure ye. Dale swings to the other tree and manages to crash into some leaves which create wings for him. He is now a birdmunk. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm...
More swinging from Dale as he goes to the other side and catches the updraft and he's flying and floating as the Kiwi's are impressed by this show of skill of using up currents and having a crack understanding of the nature of flight. I betcha Kit is jealous of all this (he gives mean look to me)...or maybe not. Dale is loving this as Pepto proclaims that Dale is the true flying god reference #11 (#20 for the series) as Zipper flies away towards Dale. Dale realizes that they have bought the whole deal, hook, line and sinker as he demands that his friends be let go and they sell it getting off the 12th reference of god (#21 for this series) in this episode alone. ZOINKS! My whole creditability is just getting Swiss cheesed to death when it comes to anime dubs. The ropes on the props are cut and the Rangers freefall right onto the bellies of the Kiwis in a funny spot. See; Dale has redeemed himself and thus the Rangers have to forgive him even if he was playing them like a fiddle. Dale continues to up draft some more as Croc the evil water demon has risen from the airplane and snarls for revenge.
The croc snaps his jaws at Dale; but Gadget's yell allow Dale to fly like a birdmunk away before he can be eaten. That is enough to the Kiwi Chief to cut a John Carney promo and the birds scatter like a bunch of scalded dogs. Well; so much for them being a cult if they are going to wuss out like that. The croc continues to snap his jaws at Dale; but Dale's flying assures that he escapes every time. Sadly; the hand of irony becomes a fickle muse and Dale drops like a stone. You know you are seriously (insert swear word here) when THAT happens. Dale drops onto the ground which I believe is where Dale suffers the broken legs for real because that bump was absolutely SICK as he tumbles down the hill. The croc goes after him and destroys the crayon wax bridge in the process. The Rangers think Dale has suffered enough stupidity so they get into the big plane seat and throw down the parachute pack which lands on his tail as Dale comes back up from the ground and manages to walk without limping or bandages. He is on a major sugar rush because he couldn't be walking without it as he is ready to punch Croc's lights out. Yeah; like I taking Dale seriously kicking someone's ass that isn't DTZ. And naturally he kicks Croc hard right in the nose. HOLY (Insert swear word here)!! And a good one too that actually does damage to both Croc and Dale. Dale does the foot grabbing spot and I can safely say that he broke his foot now which is the right one; the one he faked throughout the episode. The left one is the one that got hurt and Dale milked it.
Chip and Gadget get up from behind and pull the parachute cord and the parachute opens and that carries Croc so badly that gravity decides that it has had enough of this demon and he flies into the sky despite a good struggle to stay down by the water demon. Yeah; I don't get that spot at all; but whatever as the Kiwis pop from their hiding place and everyone cheers for victory. The Kiwis surround the rangers and thank them for saving their cult and teaching them how to fly. Pepto comes over proclaiming that Dale knows how to fly and Dale has no idea how to respond so Gadget comes over and whispers something into Dale's ear which may or may not include: If you don't do what I say; I'll MURDER you for screwing me into being your mother! Dale sells that on cue and tells the chief that they will fix that problem for them. So we logically get a scene changer as they use the parts of the parachute. Huh? There were two parachutes? I thought Croc took the only one there?
Logic break #4 for the episode as the uninjured Rangers proclaim victory and talk about how the cult can throw a bonzer bash as Monty would say. Of course Dale had to miss the party because Pepto tells Dale to stay off his feet because Dale's foot is legit broken now and Gadget proclaims that it isn't really fun when the toe is really broken. Maybe not Gadget love; but I look at it this way: Dale should have BEEN dead because he bumped like a sick mad man the whole time; he increased his workrate 4000%, he screwed Chip good, he tempered your geek image, he saved the day, he MURDERED his foot to show how manly he was to that croc and the Kiwis actually stopped being such a crazy cult. Screw the damn moral in this case; even if it is right! This episode just allowed Dale to join Kit F'N Cloudkicker as a MIRACLE WORKER for real. Considering that it took nearly 75 minutes to pull it off for Kit compared to just 21 minutes; that really tells me something about how awesome Dale is.
And naturally; Dale is the only truly MONSTER over Walt star Disney ever had in the entire run. Kudos to you Dale; and hopefully the foot isn't shattered in a million pieces. The new balloon Rangerplane flies up into the sky slowly as we pan up to see that the Kiwis can now fly on kites just to make my life complete. They can now call themselves the Kite Kiwi Cult or KKC. The chief waves goodbye and thanks them for their services in his usual intentionally bad acting tone. The Rangerplane flies through the kites and towards the blue yonder as the episode ends at 21:15. Lop off the two or three minor logic breaks; and this is a full monty episode no question. However; it is not. Still; on the entertainment and make Dale into a superstar scale; it goes to 11 as they say. This is what happens when Dale carries a good written episode on his own back. And for once; Gadget looked really good herself as she proved that she can shed that geek image of hers. Too bad Dale had to milk the injury and lie to get her to do that; but whatever. **** ¾ (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
The final Disney Channel preview episode is in the books and this was really the episode that MADE Dale so awesome in terms of character. I just love how Dale simply kicked ass in this episode. He injures his foot; he milks the injury Bob Orton Jr. style; he turns Gadget from a geeky sadist into a family figure who had sympathy (well until she found out that he was milking the injury and then she went into PISSED OFF mode); he pisses Chip off; he makes Monty look good; he saves them from death at the hands of a cult and even injures his leg for real on a kick to the face to a crocodile after taking about 50 sick bumps and hearing 12 references to god and many more references to demon. Pepto was really funny with a kick ass pun name and assorted craziness (including dropping metal cutting objects on Zipper); the Kiwi chief was just as so with his intentionally bad acting job, Monty was pretty good which is a rare sight; TMS was dead on, there were only four logic breaks that prevented a perfect ***** episode and the moral didn't matter (it's fun until it really does happen to you) because Dale was really on his game even more so than in Double O Chipmunks. Did I mention that there were 12 references to god in this episode? Excellent start; excellent middle; awesome climax and a fitting finish for the whole thing. Despite all the screwiness of the preview channels; this episode alone would be more than enough for me to watch this show in full and enjoy it. So; we move on to the remaining episodes on the DVD set with Lad In A Lamp which I believe is the first episode in DTVA history to be animated by A-1 which I have no idea who they are. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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