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The Battle of The Bulge
Only Disney could see this title as offensive!
Time now for the old Toon Disney Paranoid Black Ball episode of the series as Disney apparently thought that either Monty losing weight or the term battle inside the episode title was broadcast poison and thus got blackballed on television; only to return to DVD unedited. Well; as unedited as a second run syndication episode would be. Personally; I think Toon Disney did it because maybe; just maybe Monty FINALLY GOT OVER. I mean after about 20 failed attempts at it already; you would think this one would be the obvious charm right? Worse part is; Ghost of a Chance is the next rant to do and it's a Monty focused episode. So let's rant on and find out shall we....?!
This episode is written by Dev Ross and Tad Stones. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. And sadly; this one is animated by Sun Woo Animation, but after the off the wall drug smoking effects of A-1 animation; I'm ready to accept Sun Woo back into the family..
Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the second version of the opening sequence again.
We begin this one with a shot of the sky with menacing music as a gray steel metal helicopter flies towards the city and seems to rust light brown on every frame with we get to the city skyline. Oh man, were are not ten seconds into this and the mistakes are already happening. It lands on top of a white building as various people are watching and taking pictures from below. I think with all that wind gusting around; that would be the WORST place to stand there. One of them is a white haired fat old lady with a purple dress and matching white gloves and yellow tiara. I wonder how Kit could easily mistake her with Baloo? Hmmm...There is a police officer to make sure that there is no chance in hell that this thing won't be stolen as the helicopter door opens and the coloring goes back the gray again. Wow; I think even WD-OZ couldn't beat Sun Woo in animation mistakes that quickly. The SAFE OF DOOM lowers down with ropes and a grappling hook as Officer Kirby and Muldoon return from Carpetsnaggers to help put it into position. Oh; and even Stan Blather from Out to Launch returns just to bug me as the helicopter flies away.
Stan pesters... ERRR... questions Chief Marley (not as cool as Officer Marlarkey from TaleSpin) on the armored helicopters do away with jewel robberies..and then we see that it is a red haired freak who looks like a homeless person who sounds like Stan Blather. I guess Eisner hated his act as much as I did which has got to hurt my reputation a little bit. Marley proclaims that it will and wealthy citizens like Lady Richmore will be able to transports the jewels in complete safety. Marley sounds like Rob Paulsen by the way as Richmore has diamond earrings which make her look like she wants to hit on Marley there. Marley proclaims that it would only not happens if the crooks grow wings and laughs. I betcha we see the crooks grow wings and steal the safe. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good and even more so since they left the safe and gave them rotted fruit peels in response. Now there is a quality use of a middle finger gesture without actually USING the gesture there. And naturally the rich woman faints and manages to bump into Marley and do a really sad but funny bump into the rotted fruit. The reporters are so stunned that they ask too many questions at once. The PRESS OF FRAUD does some snapshots of the humorous moment and then we flash on over to....
….Officer Spinelli's office as he is manning the phones again like an idiot. Thankfully; there is no food on the table so we don't have to do the old Monty steals cheese from sandwich spot....yet. The chief is yelling at Spinelli for being an idiot because he said that the jewels were on the plane when they took off. Considering that they are pilots who we don't know; this looks to be a prank from Baloo and Louie to me. Not Kit though; since they haven't met yet at this point. Muldoon and Kirby come in and dump the rotten fruit on his desk to amuse me as Spinelli blows them off for their definition of a clue. Considering that Spinelli's clue hunting skills are zero; color me unimpressed. We then cut over to an officer with his feet on the desk and having the bad shave job try to eat a bagel; but the fishing line hook steals it from him. Take one guess who did that...I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good as we cut to the ceiling fan to see the Rangers spying on the police again. Gadget gets her first golly of the episode nearly two and a half minutes in. Chip wonders why they don't get neat cases like this. Answer: Because Mr. Fat and Norton need TIME to make silly cases like this one. Dale wants Monty to share the bagel and Monty agrees by giving one speck of the dough to Dale where Monty stuffs his face like a fatass. I see Monty is on Hoppo's See Food diet today. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
We cut back to Spinelli as he uses the dustpan and mini broom of doom to wipe up the fruit as he ponders why a crook would leave fruit that he eats in the middle of a heist. Kirby gleefully answers that one for me as Spinelli blows him off and orders them to leave. Kirby and Muldoon leave without further incident. And naturally Spinelli wants his lunch so he goes under his desk on the right drawer (EWWW!) for the ham and swiss cheese sandwich with lettuce and red onions which looks nothing like real red onions. Memo to Sun Woo: Red onions are actually purple with a slight tone of red. I mean who in their right mind leaves open food in a desk drawer? At least the cookie jar in Home is Where The Heart is was closed when Rebecca opened it. Man; Spinelli has issues as the CHEESE SMELL OF DOOM beckons and if you don't know what happens next, then you have no business reading this rant. He actually dives into the cheese sandwich as Spinelli puts the top on him while not looking because he has no pickles. Spinelli tries to eat the sandwich and the Gadget is APPALLED. YES! YES! EAT HIM NOW! SAVE THE SUCKY EPISODE.....DAMMIT; he saw the damn tail and Monty as Monty runs stage right complete with Hanna Barbera running and looping sound effect. Damn you Dev Ross and Tad Stones to hell! And yes now you know you are watching a classic! I've been waiting 15 episodes at least to say that. Monty runs on paper and climbs down the desk with the telephone cord; and the telephone MURDERS Monty with a massive sick bump. When a freakin telephone on it's own is the one doing more work than Spinelli; you know that he sucks as an officer of the law.
Spinelli grabs the telephone and has the newspaper whacker of doom ready to strike. Monty is all right and bails missing the shot. Spinnelli order the police to go after him and they....Wait a second? Why would anyone think that a NEWSPAPER would yield better result when a freakin telephone doesn't do Monty in? Logic break #1 for the episode as an innocent trash can gets leveled in the process. Poor widdle can as we go to the thrilling SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE KILL THE MOUSE WITH A WUSSY OBJECT EDITION~! I would be inclined to say BS&P RULEZ here; but this is the police and you know....Muldoon actually has more sense than Spinelli and uses the trash can to give Monty the sick bump of death into it and capture him. Sadly; he let's go and Monty bails with the trash can in tow. The chase goes on Hanna Barbera style until the Rangers get the WIRE OF TRIPS and of course the REALLY STUPID police force trip on the wire with wussy bumps off-screen. Dale and Zipper have that smile of: Did we do a good job there Gregory? To Dale I said: Yes; YOU two did a great job here. Sadly; Sun Woo didn't as usual. And then we see the pile of mess and Kirby is on bottom of Spinelli. THAT'S RACIST!.... and ultra creepy to boot! Spinelli then proclaims that he needs a cat. Sadly; Mr. Fat is a criminal and Spunky is a babyface with the Rangers which leaves not much to work with.
So we logically return to Rescue Ranger Headquarter and into the fridge as Monty is stuffing his plate and face with food ala Baloo. Monty leaves as Dale tries to go to the fridge but it's barer than Old Mother Hubbard's cupboards. Geez Monty; stop making Dale looks so bad and...thin. Chip and Gadget are now PISSED off at Monty's excess snacking. Just NOW?! Like where was this problem addressed when it was actually deadly to someone else..say..Mind Your Cheese's And Q's. Yeah; we are deep into the old weight lost plot line. Tummi has done it with decent success, Baloo did it with excellent success (because Warden Slammer was a sadist, Crackpotkin was a crackpot and Rebecca and Baloo had some real sexual tension between them.), Herb got over for good because of this plotline and now it's Monty turn. If Monty doesn't get over due to this; then you can officially write off Monty as a character period. Dale slams the fridge and blows off Monty for almost getting them caught as Monty goes into his asshole Peter Cullen voice saying that he is exaggerating. Man; you know Monty is so out of touch when Dale actually is dead on the mark for a change. And he's putting a lot of sodium on his junk food which is just weird because he has a cupcake with him. Monty then proclaims that he is as fit as he ever was. If that means making episodes suck the meat missile with gusto; then he's absolutely right.
Chip doesn't buy it as Zipper does his ten seconds of work by bouncing into Monty's pot belly. Considering that Monty looks the same weight wise (although Heather and I warned myself not to go for that false sense of security); don't they think that maybe it's really the cheese addiction that was the problem here..AGAIN! Then again; that episode sucked badly so maybe a Don't See Food diet is a better bet. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....Monty blows them off as he tries to sit on the chairs; but they break. JUST NOW?! Man; those chairs have crappy craftsmenship. I thought Gadget was above such crapiness. And of course Monty uses the big bones defense Tummi used. I betcha Chip proclaims that they are getting bigger. I check the DVD...It doesn't happen as a second chair breaks and then Monty admits that he is TOO FAT. Like we didn't know that from the part two of the pilot episode already there you Aussie Stereotype. Monty finally declares that he will be on a strict diet and be exercising. This is why Bill Cosby's version of the plotline didn't work because Bill was not fat enough to justify the plotline. Here; it makes total sense. Now this should be fun. Dale is giddy as he wants to eat; and even gets his white bib on just to act cool; but Monty throws the food away because we have to learn moderation. Oh swell; he's going to bury his own friends into exercising with him just to get out of the diet. Ladies and Gentlemen; Monty is officially a lost cause now. No matter what good comes out of this episode; Monty is a gimmick and no more. Thankfully; there are only three more Monty focused episodes left in the entire series; but it still doesn't eliminate the pain of this volume since Ghost of a Chance is next after this one which is the last Monty focused episode of this disc and volume set.
So we head into the exercise room as Zipper is doing the RINGS OF SATURN; while Chip and Dale run the treadmill record player (HEE HEE!); while Gadget does skip rope. Monty of course does the least calorie busting exercise which is shadow boxing. And Sun Woo animation is terrible here as it looks so Hanna Barbera like that it isn't funny. Monty actually has the gall to wear sneakers for this scene as we have the cellphone which doubles as a television set. HAHA! I smell Nokia brain storm coming as Stan Blather (in freakish homeless person hair doo which shows how much Stan went to crap after Out To Launch) continues the robbery story while saying nothing of note. And Sun Woo then changes Stan's hair to black when he tells them to go back to Aerobic Dancing with Dev. Man; those drugs of Sun Woo are really getting this to Mister T levels of crappy coloring mistakes. We then see Dev who is a blond haired dancer with pink leg warmers, blue boots with white toes, a blue thong, a yellow shirt and a white bandana. I'm guessing she's a reject with a cross between “Flashdance” “Let's get physical!” and Olivia Newton-John.
She uses cool jets here which shows that Ace Bunny doesn't have an monopoly for that catchphrase. Zipper tries the cherry toothpick barbell; but he cannot lift it. Further evidence that he went to Larson and Gary for steroids for Creep in The Deep. Zipper eats the top of the cherries to solve that little problem and then he lifts them up easily. We then cut to Chip and Dale on the record player as Dale is pooped and spinning around one revolution just to amuse me. Chip wants to practice moderation; but Monty blows it off because no pain equals no gain. Wow; I found one instance where Mr. Hardcore sounds less heartless than the Aussie Stereotype. No matter how much Monty sucks; he still makes Mr. Hardcore look like a bigger joker than it already is. Thankfully the punching bag decides to screw Monty on the joke and he takes a MAN-SIZED bump into it on the rebound as he then flies away and allows the chipmunks to take sick bumps into Monty and then a sick off-screen bump onto the floor wiping out Gadget and Zipper....and once again; Monty is on bottom. HAHA!
So it's time for lunch and everyone runs to the table on cue because this was getting too painful for their liking. So we get the scene changer of doom which leads to Monty cutting up some greens wearing a chef's hat. He then relates another BS story (what a shock?) about living on it for a year so he could have a finger wrestling match with a Himalayan gorilla. Now why didn't the Thumb Wrestling Federation consider THIS as a match for YTV? And have it against an Aussie Stereotypical mouse? That would be main event anywhere in the TWF world. Monty covers it in a white silver platter as he goes to the table with the giddy Rangers wondering what they were having. Monty reveals it as dried boiled weevil in wheat germ granola. Okay; wheat germ granola sounds good enough; but weevil? Why not apples? Or blueberries? Or mixed fruit? Those are good for you. Why not carrot granola as a vegetable sub?! Seriously; Monty NEEDS to see James Barber on better pointers for diet recipes. Monty even has the gall to stuff a spoonful in Dale's mouth. Why not Chip's mouth since he has the issue with Monty? Dale naturally hates it and turns green. Gadget gives it a taste and she repulses as it tastes absolutely terrible. Granola or Buckley's Cough Syrup? YOU THE VIEWER DECIDE!!
Monty gleefully answers that one because it was made terrible so you don't eat too much. Oh; don't worry Monty, they won't eat too much of that stuff as Dale faint down with a MAN-SIZED bump to boot. Man; that stuff must be poisonous for Dale to drop like a fly like that. So we logically go to Monty's hammock AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After dark) as Monty is sleeping (and took off his sneakers by the way) as then he hears pots and pans banging down which wakes him up. Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (Crikey!) and thinks there are burglars in the headquarters. I doubt it since Hoppo, Tummi, Herb and Baloo could NEVER fit in that tree; so I bet it's the other Rangers trying to eat something that actually tastes half decent. Something like...ummm..fruit which is GOOD FOR YOU. I check the DVD....Damn; I'm good as the PJ wearing Rangers try to hide the evidence from the pencil-crazed Monty. Seriously; he welds a freakin pencil! I have NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Gadget gets off golly #2 for the episode nearly seven and a half minutes in after five minutes of golly free action. She also invokes Inigo Montoya's promo (It does not look like you think it looks like!) and they call it a dream. If Monty sells this; then he is truly Drake Mallard's love child. And he does sell it as he walks back to bed and Sun Woo coloring mistake creditability streak continues as Monty's PJ's get lighter and lighter. Zipper turns on the lights as the Rangers are happy as they pull out their goodies; but Monty is off-screen ordering them to go back to bed too. DAMMIT MONTY! You are the one on a diet; not them! Get it through your head you Aussie Stereotype!
So we head to morning as Dale is sleeping on the red covers of his bed snoring like a dad along with Chip on the bottom bunk bed as the horn beckons from Monty which wakes them up. That horn looks like something that came from an ancient civilization instead of a recycled makeshift home. And naturally the power of noise is so suggestive that he moves both chipmunks out of their bed and they free fall to the ground taking a pretty good bump on the floor. Good selling from the chipmunks as the fatass Aussie Stereotype tells them to rise and shine. He has his running shoes on as well; which means it's time for the morning jog and Chip and Dale are PISSED off at him and want to MURDER Monty now. Gadget asks if they are ready as Gadget walks in looking sexy and hot in her pink leg warmers. Seriously; she looks like the mouse version of Rev. Now this spot would have been awesome had it played BEFORE the exercise program actually started. As is; it's just okay. Bad, bad form there Tad Stones and Dev Ross. The chipmunks tongues hang out (THAT'S SEXIST!) and they bail and return dressed in their exercise gear ready.
Nothing gets the guy more ready for the day than a sexy looking girl in pink leg warmers. It may be a stereotype; but then again we relate to a stereotype much quicker than a non-cookie cutter character; so that's why we have Monty focused episodes out the ying yang and not Gadget focused episodes. I can hear Kit whimpering now as we speak. POW! OUCH! HEY...! So we go outside to a fruit processing plant as some workers are unloading fruit. DUH! A blue truck is playing the radio as the woman on it is yawning out the news of another jewel heist which also sezs nothing of note. The Rangers run like Scooby Doo characters on speed as they run past the crates of fruit; except for Chip and Dale who get giddy due to all of this fruit. Now fruit is good for your health; so I don't understand why the Aussie Stereotype is being such an idiot here. They run like chipmunks into the apple bin and then start eating like Monty on drugs. Well; apples have a lot less calories than cheese; so I say buzz of to the Aussie Stereotype. Consider this a pre-emptive strike because we know Monty is going to get involved here. Chip and Dale are enjoying life; but the basket gets twisted and turned as Mepps, Mole and Wart are checking the fruit. Well; that pretty much gives away who is behind all this. Wart puts some bananas on top as he proclaims Mr. Fat is using fools to do his dirty work. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Chip and Dale pop up and nearly blow their cover (as if they were covering to begin with?) with Mole as calls this fruit really fresh because it's moving. Sadly; nothin comes out of it.
So we head to Mr. Fat's Cat Food Canning Factory and Casino with a zoom out shot as we cut into Mr. Fat's office as Mepps, Mole and Wart bring in the basket case of fruit he stole....ERRR...ordered for Mr. Fat. Chip and Dale peek out the holes to see Mr. Fat getting his perverted paws dirty as he picks up some fruit and the chipmunks bail into the hauled out pineapple shell. Geez; I don't think Mr. Fat would EVER suspect the pineapple shell. Never mind that there's a hole on top with the cut lines shown for everyone to see. He grabs the pineapple (which has grown four times it's size according to Sun Woo law of fruit) as he's impressed...for about three seconds as he sees no pears anywhere. Drat! It's always the awesome fruit that gets left out as the henchmen cower against the wall shaking HB style as Mr. Fat gets pissed because these “fools” like a wide selection of fruit see. He wants to MURDER them; but they get saved by the doorbell. HAHA! Mr. Fat rubs it in just in case as he throws the pineapple back into the basket allowing it to shrink back to normal size and the chipmunks take wussy bumps as a result. Mr. Fat answers the elevator as it opens to reveal three fruit bats from Jamaica. The father, mother and baby fruit bat which is some twisted fairy tale in Tad Stones' mind.
Mr. Fat speaks French just to insult his henchmen which the heels notice even though I hear Mr. Fat speak French to them several times in this series. Logic break #2 for the episode as we get the Jamaica music in the background as the fruit bats take some nasty bumps onto the ground. Okay; now I'm getting why this episode was skipped on Toon Disney. It's the stereotypical Jamaican blacks that is being parodied here. And they also look like stereotypes from Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids (check the absurd rainbow clothing that they wear. And you thought The Jonas Brothers were gay?). So; there is the reason why Toon Disney skipped this episode right there and all the rumors of losing weight and Battle in the title are all a pack of lies...that fans including me kept repeating. It's just like Lost Horizons; only more offensive. The fruit racial stereotype bats try to blitz and eat the fruit; but Mr. Fat uses the pot belly to stop them because they will only get it if they finish a job for Mr. Fat; which 99.9% chance that it will be to rob some jewels for him.
The bats agree to it because they like fruit and do anything for fruit because they are Jamaican Fruit Bats see. And people wonder why Toon Disney skipped this episode? It's not that the fruit bats aren't funny; it's that they are racial gimmick stereotypes and no more. At least Wan Lo and his gaggle of terrorists were characters who knew how to entertain their guest before launching their assaults on entire cities and conquering them to the ground. Mr. Fat then agrees to let them blitz for real as the chipmunks watch in horror as the smallest fruit bat grabs the pineapple which grows three times in size again. He hugs the fruit which ends the segment 11 minutes in. I'm glad that they took the focus off of Monty and onto Chip and Dale because this episode was going south like all Monty focused episodes. And no matter how entertaining those fruit bats are; they are still the REASON why Toon Disney doesn't play this episode.
After the commercial break; we get a new shot of pink hatted fruit bat making love with the pineapple shell. WHAT THE HELL WAS SUN WOO SMOKING?! MANOS CIGARS?! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....He calls this the most righteous fruit he has seen in a long time. And while I'm at it; there's a reason why Louie was allowed and not these bats on Toon Disney. Louie was a redeemable character who was more than a Jamaican monkey with a love for Hawaiian shirts and stomping on fruit with his feet. These guys are gimmick stereotypes and that's the difference that creates the results. That still doesn't explain Wan Lo; but whatever. The chipmunks gasp in horror and bail when their cover might be blown; but the yellow shirt fruit bat steals the fruit because a fruit this fine must be shared. Rainbow blue hat fruit bat shoves pink hat aside which takes another MAN-SIZED bump and then they all get into a shouting fight match and POW! Insta-Feud!
The pineapple and fruit bat take more bumps allowing Chip and Dale to escape undetected through the top onto the floor. And not even Mr. Fat notices as he is still dealing with the fruit bats because it's time to go rob some jewels. The fruit keeps fighting in mid air over the fruit and Mr. Fat yells on cue which allows the bat to throw the pineapple shell right onto a henchmen. You know which one since he's the bump machine of the group. Chip and Dale practice the fine art of not being seen in the fruit basket as Mole makes pineapple armor and Mr. Fat plays with a large apple which is three times bigger in size. What is Sun Woo's obsession with increasing fruit sizes for Mr. Fat here? Is Larson and Gary creating bubble steroids to make those fruit grow and shrink on command? Mr. Fat peels the apple with his claws and the shaving get on the pink hat fruit bat as he shoves fruit and the sneaky chipmunks into the sack. They need the fruit to keep their energy up see which isn't a bad idea all things considered. The fruit bats drag the fruit away in the sack towards the elevator as Mr. Fat gets in a veiled racist comment on them...(That's the problem with foreign imports. It's a pain getting decent service.) Oh man; no wonder this episode got black balled.
So the fruit bats fly out of the solid gold cat statue's ear (EWWWWW!) as they fly and blow off Mr. Fat for being insane. I would also say a racist as well; but BS&P isn't going to allow that; if allow Toon Disney to air the episode AT ALL. Chip and Dale watch over the city as the fruit bats continue to sling veiled mental illness insults at Mr. Fat. Chip and Dale slip out of the panel and jump down onto the conveniently placed TV antenna and sling down onto the ground. The rangers wonder what Mr. Fat and his fruit bats are going to do; and Chip wants to use the Ranger Plane to find out. So we logically head to the launch pad as Monty is doing the stiffest stomach crunches I have ever seen as Chip and Dale run in and change clothes because they have a case to solve. Monty then blows them off for being slackers and not taking the pace as Zipper is SHOCKED at these comments. I am too; those are southern fighting words there you Aussie Stereotype! Chip and Dale try to explain that they need the Ranger Plane; but then they are SHOCKED and APPALLED because Gadget is turning it into the Bicycle Ranger Plane~! See; Monty wants them to exercise WHILE on flight from the case. As if they don't do enough running as it is. See; this is why I hate Monty. He's forcing his beliefs on THEM; to justify himself to get OUT of the whole thing. It's so evil of him to do so even though the Rangers don't come close to the snacking level Monty does. This is like Double or Nothing; but without the sweet grace of R.J. Williams paranoid acting to save it. Gadget proclaims that she was only trying to help while getting off golly #3 for the episode nearly 13 and a half minutes in after seven minutes of golly free action. I wonder who Gadget gets to blow after the episode is over to accept Monty's offer. POW! OUCH! Ummm...
So we logically cut to the skies over the city as the Rangers are pedaling at the back of the Rangerplane and most of them haven't broken a sweat; except for Monty of course. Gadget wonders which way the fruit bats went. Chip helpfully answers that by showing the trail of fruit and garbage on the ground as Monty is panting and wheezing on cue and wants to “moderate” again. Irony is such a fickle muse eh you Aussie Stereotype. Chip wants to go back home mocking Monty as Monty is panting like an idiot and then apparently; the fruit storm from Crock Around the Clock is back in full force. Oh man; I thought we were cured of such silliness?! And it's eaten fruit to boot too as Gadget wonders who ordered the fruit cocktail. See; they were not referring to alcohol in the very least; no siree as we look up and see the Racial Fruit Stereotype Bats~ hanging upside down eating their fruit from a sack near a tall building with golden eagle statues on it. Yellow Shirt Fruit Bat wants to take a righteous fine nap.
The Rainbow Hat wearing fruit addresses him as Bobo. Sorry; but the real Bobo is that rabbit who screws Baloo and Trader Moe out of their MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! He states that the nap will have to wait because here comes their date.. as the steel helicopter arrives as the gray is getting lighter and lighter on every shot. The fruit bats do a swan dive entry and then fly up towards the helicopter as the Rangers get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLARITY and then they start pedaling fierce. Sadly; Monty's is still gasping for breath. I knew the innocent sadist would teach that fatass a thing or two about screwing his friends into something they don't have to do. It's Rescue Rangers away nearly fifteen minutes in as they pedal towards the helicopter but the down draft blows them back. Because that is what this episode now needs: More windbags! They spins around 360 and then Gadget orders them to keep pumping and then climbs into the front of the plane to unleash the plunger grappling hook complete with the binoculars to show that Gadget is SERIOUS BABEE! After some shaky moments and Dale yelling badly; the plunger finds it's mark underneath the wing of the steel helicopter and the Rangerplane pulls up.
The Rangerplane using the plunger landing gear to secure itself even more as Dale wonders where the bats went and Gadget decides to find out as he invokes her plunger feet. Gadget is so awesome when she puts those things on her feet. Gadget grabs the plunger gun for more support as she plungers onto the underbelly of the helicopter to waste more time. This is so awesome now that Gadget's nose turns black right on cue. Yeah; we just couldn't go far without a Sun Woo coloring mistake. And they STILL aren't as bad as A-1 was last rant. We cut to the right side of the helicopter as the fruit bats are using the flamethrower to cut open a circle. They call it easy as slicing a Lime Key Pie. Okay; that's a funny joke; but they are so gimmicky as racial stereotypes that the joke is negated soundly on the rebound. Gadget sticks the plunger down onto the engine side as the chipmunks climb the rope and onto the wing as Gadget proclaims that they are indeed the jewel thieves. Dale wonders what they can do and the answer is nothing because Monty is only half way through the course and I betcha he looks down and gets scared. I check the DVD... Damn; I'm good. And then the fingers slip and he free falls into the city below. Wow; how ironic is it that they do a drama free fall spot with Monty and somehow still trivialize Teddy and Kit's falls which meant a lot more historic wise. Gadget's acting is so shill that I think she wants Monty to die. SLAP! BONK! POW! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmmm...That officially ends the segment sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we get more free falling from Monty as Sun Woo goes all TMS on us. Man; TaleSpin had a lot better continuity with drawing a character's feet than this show ever did. Gadget's acting is still woody as hell as Zipper zips down (oh man; this writes itself) and grabs Monty by the coat. However; that is no go; so Chip and Dale grab the Plunger Rope and it's Rescue Rangers Away for real as they sky dive down and order Monty to hang on as Zipper's grip is dead on arrival. Monty grabs on and they bob and weave for a while to waste more time. Gadget proclaims in the Rangerplane (behold the power of the plunger feet) that she'll haul them in as the trapdoor of doom opens which Gadget proclaims is handy as she magically warps to the left side of the helicopter. Logic break #3 for the episode as well as golly #4 for the episode 16 and a half minutes in after three and a half minutes of golly free action.
The plunger feet are still awesome as the fruit bat stereotypes leave with their sacks of stuff as they want some righteous fruit for their deeds. How stereotypical can you get?! Monty gets his wind back; but they are getting away. Chip and Dale proclaim that they won't if they hitch a ride and Monty sells as he swings like a pendulum from Final Fantasy IX. Gadget goes in and pushes the down button on the control panel (helpfully labeled as such) and the grappling hook comes down. Gadget then looks down and panics because Monty is now clinging onto the edge of the plunger relating to the most BS story of them all: He went to a circus and was taught two rules of acrobatics. Oh my; this is going to hurt as one is don't look down which he violated and two to not look at the clowns which he violates here as he swings and they land into the sack. Man; don't allow me to go to Monty to become a clown to replace Greg Manson. Ever...and naturally the fruit bats get into a shoving match because Bobo is shaking the load of racial stereotypes way too far....
They fly away as Zipper flies back to Gadget as we cut back to Mr. Fat's office as Mr. Fat is inspecting the fruit that the henchmen brought to him and naturally they brought the pears to him this time around along with grapes and even kiwi fruit! Now THAT'S a wide selection.....allegedly. Mr. Fat throws the pear over his should and it MURDER SPLATS on the henchmen face. You know which one since he's the bump machine.....allegedly. Mr. Fat goes to his desk which has various necklaces (ruby, diamond, emerald etc.) as he wonders if commence is wonderful. Yes it is; as long as it's not STEALING. He calls this shrewed. Nah; shrewed is went Kit is in the prone position getting tickled by Molly senseless and Rebecca ignores him and answers the door. (“Go ahead and answer the door; O'shrewed one! HAHAHAHAHA!” ; and I bet Rebecca doesn't keep a straight face on THAT.) Mepps and Wart do suck up to him; because they are whiny suck-ups of course.
Mr. Fat then admits that the whole scheme is dying and it's time to mercy kill it. Umm; the police are stupider than Drake Mallard; I doubt that this would need changing. However; he slams his fist on the desk and proclaims that he is going to send the fruit bat back to whence it came. Yeah; that isn't racist in the very least, no siree! The henchmen get giddy because now they can be the front runner for the wrath of Mr. Fat instead of having the fruit bats getting the glory. Mr. Fat thinks they are accusing him of dumping them and Mr. Fat grabs onto Mole speaking as much non-English as possible; and then the fruit bats arrive in front of the elevator and Mole of course gets dropped like a bad habit. HAHA! Excellent bumping and selling of the foot stomp from Mr. Fat onto Mole. Mr. Fat greets the fruit bats as he wonder what they brought him and then logic break #4 for the episode beckons as the sacks appear OUT OF NOWHERE! Sigh. Mr. Fat fisks the sacks and there is pearls, diamonds, and of course Rescue Rangers. HEE HEE!
Mr. Fat is pissed and the urge to kill the male Rangers is rising along with a touch of putting his dirty paws on Gadget. Sadly; she's not here...yet. The Rangers pop down and run stage left as we get the slowest chase in the history of DTVA. The fruit bats join in for fun as the chipmunks shoot the bananas and they land on the floor. Now you would think that the heels would be smart enough to dodge that; but they slip and fall of course because they are dumb whiny henchmen see. Nice bumping onto the floor by the mammals as the fruit bats run in over them. Wow; that's the smartest thing they have done in this episode; which is why this episode got black balled in the first place. Pink hat fruit bat eats orange from Monty's throwing and that's enough for the fruit bats to bump onto the floor. Oh joy! The Rangers try to escape; but Mr. Fat blocks them next to the fruit and then the heels surround them. I believe this is where Gadget love makes her appearance with Zipper in tow. I check the DVD.....Damn; I'm good as we get the rumbling (plus the Crusin'Art reference as a threat which was funnier in TaleSpin for obvious reasons) as we cut to outside as the steel helicopter has arrived and the grappling hook is hooked onto the golden cat's nose. EWWWWWWW!
Gadget pushes the up button (and apparently the down button has disappeared; although Gadget's head is blocking the panel; so it isn't really a logic break) as the hook goes up and all hell and plaster breaks loose! The fruit bats hide in the curtains; although for the life of me; I don't see that as very effective for staying away from plaster. And Mole get stomped on by a panicky Mr. Fat just to be Mole as Chip and Monty duck for cover. The golden cat slides down right and the heels slide down the floor with Mole being a ball because he is the bump machine see. Mr. Fat tries to get to the sacks; but only gets one as he and the other bag slides down. We go to the mouth of the golden cat statue as Gadget lands on the nose and tells the kitty to say ah! The mouth opens as it has the same giant white tile teeth Mister T has for his animated series. Only; it is apporos here. All the henchmen heels get dumped right into the trash cans and dumpsters. Again; is there any wonder why the fruit bats are the reason this episode was black balled? In other words; there was no babyface turn to justify them as remotely being characters rather than gimmicks. And so Mr. Fat clings on for dear life on the lower tile teeth as the second sack MURDERS his face good and he free falls into the river (!!!) while the sacks of jewels land on the cement walkway beside it. I don't remember the factory being even CLOSE to a river. Logic break #5 for the episode as Mr. Fat sputters and struggles in the river thus proving that cats cannot swim and drops into the sewer drain.
We then cut to the dumpster as the fruit bats pop up and are tired of fruits as pink hat fruit bat wants to eat something softer and gets MURDERED by the stray apple. So; we don't even get the babyface turn at all that Mr. Fat was teasing earlier on. The fact that Stones is writing this makes me shudder quite a bit as the police car arrives and Officer Kirby comes out and is SHOCKED to see the missing jewels. And I see the thing was just a little river; but Sun Woo still creates a logic break since Mr. Fat shouldn't be THAT small to go through a sewer drain. Mr. Fat swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Drat!) and then falls into the sewer drain never to be seem again; until the next episode rant. So we head inside a room as Kirby and Muldoon show off the sack of jewels while Stan Blather continues to blather on saying...say it with me...nothing of note. We then pan over stage left as they get flashbulbed to see Monty sitting in a tea cup taking a hot bath. He asks Zipper for a bromide tablet. Why is Monty getting the hero act when he did NOTHING to redeem himself for burying his friends like that.
And Monty is naked...MY EYES ARE BURNING as Zipper drops the tablet into the teacup while Monty chuckles at the bubble bath. In comes Chip, Dale and Gadget waltzing in and then they blow off Monty for relaxing in a hot tub. Monty proclaims that it's time for some moderation for a change. The Rangers like that and then they jump into the hot tub with their clothes. Okay; I can understand Gadget not stripping; but Chip and Dale? Good splashing there as they proclaim the moral and everything in moderation is really good; but no one seems to know how to do it properly. The Rangers giggle like little girls to end the episode at 21:08. Decent enough episode as they took the focus completely off of Monty and did a balance episode. However; Gruel still wins easily due to the lack of a truly racist stereotype like the bats. Seriously! How can anyone be surprised that this episode didn't get black balled. And too many mistakes from Sun Woo and the writers dragged this episode down. Also; Monty is now a less offensive stereotypical gimmick after this weak performance. *** ¼ (65%).
One Final Note: There is a scene that was taken from this episode and wasn't shown in this episode except in commercial ads where Dale is cheating on the bar bells as they are inflated and showing off his “awesome” strength to annoy Chip. But Chip is on him and deflates the plan good. It also included the chipmunk hamster spots and it's really funny and it plays to the second ED. I believe this is on Youtube and once I find it; I'll share the link with you all
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I can finally give up any hope for Monty ever being over for this series. This was an easy episode for him and he screwed it up as a character; reducing him to a gimmick character at best. I mean; he forced the other Rangers to exercise with him despite the fact that they didn't need it and that Monty's snacking was the problem; not a lack of exercise. It seems to me that the whole exercise angle was put in as a heavy handed cynical attempt to show that cartoons do not make people fat and yet miss the point that Monty's problem wasn't exercise; as much as his eating. The eating part was an after thought at best. On the one hand; the spots were fine, but on the other hand, they were pointless. Thankfully; Mr. Fat came in to save the day as always when Dale and Gadget become second fiddle to Monty.
However; that presented a different problem. The fruit bats are racial Jamaican stereotypes with a touch of Fat Albert sandwiched in between just to make the whole thing seem MORE offensive. Now that alone wouldn't get the episode black balled (see Louie Lamount); but making them as stereotypical gimmicks would. If they were really characters then the jokes and bumps would be funny. Otherwise; they came off as tasteless; lame and at times borderline racist. Although this still doesn't explain Wan Lo since he was a character and the episode still got black balled anyway. Then again; Disney is notorious for downplaying TaleSpin; so there you go. And finally; the logic breaks and animation mistakes were very glaring by Tad Stones standards, as Sun Woo seemly look like a better version of A-1. And they never decided to turn the fruit bats babyface since Fat Cat was teasing the finish in advance; and it didn't get paid off. A pay off like that would probably have helped the fruit bat shed some of that stereotype gimmick a bit; although I think the episode would still be black balled by Toon Disney. Thankfully; the DVD release doesn't adhere to ratings; so it's finally in there. Sadly; the Dale fake dumb bell spot isn't there. So; overall; a solid story carried by Mr. Fat and his bump machines of course that left me feeling a little dirty watching it due to the mistakes and the racial stereotypes. Sadly; Monty gets one more episode in being a focus character and that is Ghost of a Chance which is next. Please take me now.....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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