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Ghost Of A Chance
Reviewed: 03/01/2009
I don't stand one against the awesome sucking power of Monty focused episodes.
Oh man; another Monty focused episode? And Mr. Fat is involved?! SHOOT ME NOW! Thankfully; this is the last one in this entire volume set so let's get this one over with now shall we...?
This episode is written by Art Cover, Lydia Marano and Bryce Malek. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. I was thinking Art was a ghost writing name but it is not. Arthur Byron Cover (pronounced like rover) did some writing for Transformers, Spiral Zone, The Real Ghostbusters and Phantom 2040. In other words not much although he was Zombie #1 in the movie The Laughing Dead in 1989. No really; I'm as shocked as you are. Lydia actually was in the same movie as an attendent and did some animation writing including Max Steel, Spiderman 1995 edition, Roughnecks, Gargoyles and Starcom. And sadly; this one is animated by Sun Woo Animation.
Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the third version of the opening sequence again.
We begin this one with a pan down shot of a foggy London AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After Dark) as we go to London Bridge (the bridge, not the wrestling move) as there are red light beeping with green and purple light. Why; I don't know. We cut down to a tugboat coming under the bridge as we see it with a rope and a small boat featuring Mr. Fat of course humming Rule Britannia. Okay; that's somewhat manly for him, I guess. Mr. Fat is doing the George Washington pose with the roll of manuscript as he proclaims that he will rule England and the whole world will be his oyster. See; I just knew the whole American Revolution was all about world domination. Ironically; that is what people think of Nintendo nowadays and even 24 years ago. The henchmen are sea sick in the boat as the boat rocks too much from Mr. Fat. And what the hell is wrong with Sun Woo today? Too many badly made faces and black noses to boot. Mepps whines because he doesn't want food since he's ready to throw up it seems. See; Mr. Fat found a treasure map that conveniently fell into his claws as Mole wants to see; but Mr. Fat takes it away like a good heel. Because Mole will screw it up since he is the bump machine see. Mole just wanted a peek as the fog actually gets thicker. Wow; Sun Woo actually shows why A-1 animation sucks eggs.
So we pan northwest as we get the entrance of the Rangerplane puffing away fog thanks to Gadget's new invention: The Fog Plow~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! And I think that thing does a better job on fog than these moronic snowplows do on Mr. Icy Roads. Gadget calls it a smoke blower which is funny since no real smoke is involved (and no; I'm not doing the smoke joke; I'm not wasting my A material on Monty focus episodes anymore) while getting off the first golly of the episode barely two minutes. Sigh. Dale wonder how they will find Mr. Fat in this fog and Chip answers that the river goes only one way which allows Monty to relate another one of his BS stories about water lanes having eight lanes until you hit the cloverleaf. Zipper is shocked because he is listening to probably the 1000 BS story of his life. Well; that is about 950 more than I suffer from; so I feel sorry for him. Monty's voice is strange today; it doesn't sound like neither Cummings or Cullen this time around. Chip points out the obvious as we cut down to a sky shot of the ship. Gadget invokes the binoculars as Chip proclaims that he is headed for the Tower of London which looks like a state pen when Gadget peeps through them. Okay; I smell bad finish joke coming a mile away at the end. Rescue Rangers away at around 2:30.
So we logically go to the Tower of London Castle (I suspect) as the wolf howl and the good old cartoon blue/green tint lighting is in effect. Fun fact to screw Mr. Hardcore: this lighting is in fact very real during the wee hours of the morning before the sun rises slowly. I know this because I often leave the house at 6:30 am in the winter time; and the lighting is very obvious. I see the fog has eased up quickly in the last few minutes or so and there are bats animated to try to fool us that Sun Woo is not animating this episode. It fails badly as Wart complains to Mr. Fat that the place is very creepy. NO?! REALLY?! Oh and Wart does the anime dizzy eyes spot on the boat as Mr. Fat yells at them to clam up and cut the rope attached to the tugboat. Ah; projection: the only thing against defeated contexts. So Wart magically reveals the garden shears and runs up to the front of the boat and cuts the line. The boat drifts towards the dock in front of the castle as Mepps whines and hides because there is a ghost in the castle as he points to a yellow light inside some of the windows. Mr. Fat gleefully blows it off because it's just a castle guard. Sadly; the boat bumps into the docks and then Mr. Fat and his henchmen bounce off and take SICK MAN-SIZED bumps onto the dock. That might be the first time I have ever see Mole taking less damage off bump than Mr. Fat does. OUCH! And of course the map is out of Mr. Fat's hands and he panics. Naturally Mole has it and takes his peek of doom. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off. Man; Sun Woo's animation looks more cartoony than usual today. Mr. Fat grabs it back and Mole apologizes for touching it.
And then logic break #1 really rears it's ugly head because I thought Mr. Fat grabbed the map back; but Mole actually dropped it and it rolls towards the dock causing Mr. Fat to panic. Oh lord; that break was glaring and it makes Mr. Fat look really weak. Thankfully; Mr. Fat grabs the map before more damage can be done to his heat and he blows off Mole and Mole says your welcome. HEE HEE! So we cut to inside the castle walls from a tree as Mr. Fat and his henchmen walk in as Mr. Fat is on the map like Dora is on speed apple juice after telling Swiper not to swipe three times. They make it to the inside castle wall near some bushes and here's coloring mistake #2 from Sun Woo as the gray castle walls are now brown. This must be the Feces of London. AHHAHAHAHAHA! Mepps whines as the henchmen hide behind Mr. Fat's giant frame to amuse me. Mr. Fat gleefully blows them off for distracting him. Yeah; never ever distract someone when they are reading a map. Mr. Fat pushes on the poop wall and orders his men to push and not look stupid. Umm; they are already REALLY STUPID Mr. Fat; I don't think it's possible to not look stupid with them. And of course the henchmen sell and push on the poop wall while Mr. Fat does nothing but admire. HAHA! I wish this was all Mr. Fat and no Monty; but that is not going to be possible since it's the writer's mission in life to get Monty over at any cost. Never mind that Gadget girl; she'll never amount to anything since she isn't a cookie cutter character. Mepps whines of course just to amuse me some more and Mr. Fat blows that off while checking the map of course. The henchmen finally find the SCOOBY DOO TWIST DOOR OF DOOM and twist to the inside of the castle. Mr. Fat turns around and he's SHOCKED and APPALLED as he does the twist spot as well.
So we head inside as the realistic lighting Mr. Hardcore wants is now in effect. This shows once and for all that Mr. Hardcore truly stands for Mr. Insane Freak. Not Insano Freak; that's Dale's gimmick! We go down the twisted hallway as Mr. Fat found a flashlight it seems. Mr. Fat yells suddenly to his henchmen to spread out on the zoom shot and the henchmen take wussy bumps into the walls. Sigh. And of course that goes nowhere as Mr. Fat is at a fork in the road and the henchmen are still with him. What exactly were the writers thinking on that exchange? Another note while I'm in a ranting mood: It's clear that Tad Stones had no clue weither to have the show be a homage to The Great Mouse Detective (UK detective animation movie) or Miami Vice (American detective television show) at this point. It just makes TaleSpin so....focused. Lucky; Tad knew better with Darkwing Duck at least so it wasn't a total write off. Mr. Fat is looking for the crown jewels because we are in London see.
Wart and Mepps whine because they could go to the museum of doom to steal the crown jewels of doom. See; when the henchmen actually act remotely smart; you know they are awesome. It does lower the heat of the monster heel; but it's not much as long as the henchmen don't overtake the villain's heat. See ultra-cool sidekick Toadie and Dukie. Mr. Fat responds to that in a sarcastic matter because he knows a secret about the jewels which is the justification for using the secret maps. I put 2:1 odds that it's because the museum jewels are fake as Mole wants to know what the secret is. Notice Sun Woo has now made Mole look normal; so chalk it up for another bad coloring mistake from them. And naturally Mr. Fat blows them off good (since their backs are against the wall) because it would not be a secret. I still like the “unspeakable horror” promo from Ellinore in Teddy Ruxpin because it speaks to a lot of people these days. And he tells them to follow them and be quiet despite projecting since he is shouting from the top of his lungs. Good flashlight using there Mr. Fat as he storms off into the darkness.
The henchmen follow as Mr. Fat approaches a brown rug and Wart just so happens to step on it too hard and we get the old slip off the rug spot Baloo did after Kit yanked it under Baloo's feet in Idol Rich. It's just not funny anymore without Kit outsmarting Baloo with it. Mepps takes the brown rug in the kisser and then Mole gets a helmet stuffed on his head OUT OF NOWHERE. I guess they are starting to pay off the ghost light angle from earlier as the henchmen blame each other for causing misfortune. So Mr. Fat calls them blockheads and demands answers on who started this? Oddmakers: 1:1 Monty just to piss me off, 5:1 Gadget, 3:1 Chip, 2:1 Dale, 10:1 Zipper, 2:1 a ghost, 2:1 Mr. Fat himself using voodoo powers from Magica Despell. Mole finally pops the helmet from his head and answers that it is a ghost and Mr. Fat blows it off because there is no such things as ghosts. Then again; there is no such things as talking, dancing animals who shoot guns; so I think Mole has a legit case just on puesdo-theory alone. Mr. Fat tells them that it is probably those pesky Rescue Rangers because they always spoil his fun see....
..And speaking of the group and their devilish Aussie Stereotype; we cut to a castle tower as the Ranger Plane flies down slowly towards it. Gadget invokes the suction cups to stick the Rangerplane against the crappy wall as Monty questions Gadget's invention. Gadget proclaims that it's fine because it can hold up to 300 pounds of weight (giggle...yeah right you innocent sadist!) as Monty thinks that he is safe since he's only 2 pounds max; but the Rangerplane gets unstuck and into the window as it floats down into a green painted hallway safely. Monty proclaims that he probably put on a few ounces. More like Gadget calculations being about 299 pounds off the mark to me. Chip and the gang jump off and they make their way into the room with the crown jewel are along with the stereotype British music and the royal guards dressed in red with black shoes and black hats along with the golden canes. The crown jewels are in the middle DUH which is three crowns with Christian Crosses on it which 4Kids would paint away because it would offend Christians see in Al Khan's tiny moronic mind.
Chip and Dale get off as Dale wonders why they are here since the guards are already on task and Chip answers because they don't know who Mr. Fat is. Gadget wonders where Monty and Zipper are as we head into the dark and spooky hallways of the castle (check the creepy suit of armors with the creepy red eyes still in the helmet) as Monty and Zipper are checking out the stuff I guess. We then get a shot of a creepy noble (check the whites of his eyes which makes the Manos picture look like a wimp in comparison) as Monty proclaims him as Sir Colby. Colby you should know as a prototype name for the Rescue Rangers show back in 1987 when the show was being pitched to execs. See; Sir Colby's mission was to keep the crown jewels safe from cutthroats and thieves. Well; thanks for the pointless history lesson there on the pan down mouse (who looks like a pussy) you Aussie Stereotype, can we please move on? Apparently; he's only slightly less brave than Monty. Modesty is NEVER Monty's strong suit at this point as Monty relates the second BS story of the episode (swell) as Sir Colby the Mouse single-handily stopped the Canterville Cat from stealing the crown jewels which Chip does the Gruffi pose looking bored which indicates that Monty is full of crap. Please Chip; don't be afraid to tell him how you REALLY feel now?
We cut to the painting as the eyes move a bit and then cut to behind the painting as we see Mr. Fat and his henchmen looking on. Well; only Mr. Fat anyway as he swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (blasted) because the Rescue Rangers are finally here to spoil his fun. Wart then wants to see as he throws Mr. Fat off his perch and Mr. Fat takes a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen. Good lord; Mr. Fat is taking a beating here as the henchmen try to sell it as if they see the Rangers; but Sun Woo naturally screws it up because the peep holes are about a foot shorter than they should be. I just knew I couldn't go anywhere without Sun Woo screwing a spot. Mr. Fat yells it them to be quiet as Mole ponders the point of noise and proclaims that he doesn't want any noise. So he makes noise by shoving Mepps aside to see (and cannot) and Mepps whines right on cue and pushes Mole aside just to make Mole the bump machine again. I like this as we cut to the creepy painting again and the green whites in the eyes come back. Has Sun Woo been sharing drugs with A-1 for some strange reason?
Monty proclaims the old ghost story of Sir Colby on the full moon nonsense which of course scares Dale stiff just to be Dale. Gadget does the Gruffi pose and seems pissed off as Monty admits that there is no such thing as an animal ghost; but the henchmen blow their cover as Wart and Mole complain about their tails being squashed (what a shock?). Chip wonders if there is a secret passage behind the painting as Zipper does his ten seconds of work by flying over to the eyes and invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH on Mole's left eye since he is the bump machine see. Zipper goes through and annoys the heels for a bit as Mr. Fat misses with the swats before Zipper returns outside. Naturally; Mole gets grabbed by the shirt and blown off as now Mr. Fat must MURDER some rodents. Zipper returns and squeaks out that Mr. Fat is here to steal the crown jewels, DUH! Although it takes about a minute for them to figure it out as Zipper blows up into a beach ball with claws. Considering that Zipper can squeak English; I think the writers are just wasting time for the sake of it now. Which is fine if this was actually funny; but it isn't. Anyhow; Chip tells the gang to find a way in and spread out. Dale climbs up to the painting and looks through the eyes to see Mr. Fat seeing Dale and the heels bail. Monty then grabs the spiked mace and starts swinging because there is no time to be shilly-shally. You are not in Ireland; nor you are Irish you Aussie Stereotype. Get over it and accept the fact that you cannot damage anything according to the law of museums and BS&P. Sadly; the mace gets shattered in a million pieces as we see the image of Sir Colby the mouse float from the painting and around Monty (creepy!) as Monty proclaims that they don't make them like that anymore.
Somehow; that disturbs me as Chip is knocking on wood; but knocks on red nose instead. Oh come on guys! He's a freakin ghost! He's supposed to have no physical body unless he's an angel knight who can rematerialized according to Valkyrie Profile logic...and that doesn't exist until 2000. Logic break #2 for the episode as Chip is SHOCKED and proclaims that the wood is hollow. About as hollow as Rhinokey's jokes. AHHAHAHAHA!. Join the club buddy as Gadget is checking under a wooden picture as Dale asks for for help and she tells him to look for trap doors in the floor. Dale bails away as Sir Colby's ghost creeps up from behind (oh man; this stuff writes itself) and groans at Gadget. Gadget blows him off thinking that it is Dale as they need to find a way in. We cut to Dale under a red rug wonder who is talking to him and then hides under the rug in a cloud of dust as Colby's ghost continues to groan and the dust causes him to cough and sob. Yeah sure; like I'm buying that logic break #3 guys. The Rangers finally realize that someone is crying as Sir Colby is crying his eyes out. Man; he's a bigger baby than Baloo EVER was. I guess Kit was being too mean to him; but then again; Kit Cloudkicker is the most cynical character in Disney history so there you go.
Monty then compares the picture with the ghost and the ghost calls himself a coward because he cannot scare anything. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Monty calls Sir Colby his ancestor as we finally see that this will be a Monty focused episode at near the ten minute mark which isn't too bad all things considered. Sir Colby then reveals that Monty's story about him and the Canterville Cat is completely BS. Good for Colby; I'm sick of Monty's BS stories anyway. About damn time someone did some fact checking even if it was a mere ghost. Colby deserted his post and hid out of fear and shame; although by Jake Robert's moral standards; that is being less of a coward than faking courage. So it looks like the Aussie Stereotype is a bigger coward than Sir Colby. HEE HEE! A black spider drops down and Sir Colby is scared off as he runs into the column. HAHA! I'm starting to like this ghost actually even if the logic is wonked all to hell by the writers. Monty cannot believe that this relative is a coward. Well; next time, fact check your stories before you spew BS on them Monty. Colby doesn't blame him for being upset since he's a total failure because he couldn't scare away the henchmen of Mr. Fat. Then logic break #4 beckons as Colby grabs onto Monty's jacket claiming that he needs help. Okay; this is a neat spot; but come on guys! How contrived can you get? Logic break #5 beckons as Monty grabs him by the arms as Colby then completely destroys the good graces I had for this episode by proclaiming that a descendant must break the curse and do a brave deed in his name.
Why not just do the brave deed yourself Colby and save the trouble for me having to see....? Oh; never mind. I know that this is just ANOTHER EPISODE in many failed attempts to get Monty over as Super Mouse. Man; I'm liking Drake Mallard even more now. Sure; he buries people and is full of himself, but at least he was over as a cartoonish bump machine. Oh; and let's just contradict the logic even more by having Monty's slap back spin-o-rama spot go right through Colby as if he was a real ghost. Bad, bad logic there guys! Chip then asks Colby about the secret passage and Colby floats to the wall proclaiming that it has been a long time since he has had to use the secret door; but he manages to find it and the wall opens to reveal....the ZOMBIE CANTERVILLE CAT OF DEATH~! And it's out for revenge on Colby. Huh? That makes zero sense since we KNOW Colby is a coward and didn't defeat the cat and therefore there is no revenge to extract. Man; that is such a rookie mistake for a bunch of pros that it isn't funny. That officially ends the segment about 11 minutes in. Oh; this episode is going to blow, I just know it....
After the commercial break; Chip proclaims to Monty to get this curse lifting over with as the long arm of the zombie cat and Monty is scared stiff and bails. See what I mean by faking courage; coward! And then the zombie cat beheads himself! HOLY CRAP! That's the second time I have seen that spot happen in DTVA; the other was in the Halloween episode of Quack Pack in 1996. That episode sucked so I'm not liking this episode to be any better. The other Rangers yell in protest but the zombie cat throws his head like a soccer ball forcing the Rangers to bail behind a turn door that Dale found. Nice heads up move by Dale. AHHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm....Gadget and Chip slide against each other panting as Colby breaks logic by taking a bump even though he is a freakin ghost. Monty is hiding behind a blue rug like the coward that he is as he slowly pops out and Colby gleefully blows him off as a coward. HAHA! I love it when Monty gets what he deserves for his BS stories. Monty slumps as he tries to deny the accusation; but the slumping and creepy music basically prove that he is a coward. And now he begs for mercy because a ghost cat is not human nor alive. Umm; it's not a ghost cat Monty, it's a zombie cat.
Which can be defeated because it is a material being. Colby is not amused at this cowardice and I agree with him. Gadget then tell him that he doesn't believe in ghost even though Ghost Colby is RIGHT THERE in front of her; forcing her to correct herself. Sometimes I wonder if Gadget knows how to sleep at night. Colby floats around forgiving her because he hasn't believed in himself for quite a while as Chip blows them off because with that attitude; they'll never break the curse. Monty then stops selling his cowardice and wants to take on the zombie cat head on. Yeah; because we cannot allow Monty to lose his super mouse image now can we? Monty then acts tough while knocking over the chipmunks as Gadget decides to be smart and leave through the door. The other Rangers get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and they all follow as we head into the room and there is no zombie cat; nor head present anywhere. Chip then realizes that they are wasting time and need to get to the crown jewels before Mr. Fat does. So Colby goes through the walls looking for the passageway as Dale is panicking because the jewels are way back...and Colby floats back remembering that they cannot float through walls. See how this makes the previous logic breaks look like stupid mistakes?! So they go through the vent and of course Monty is just TOO FAT. So they pop him out and he takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the brick wall. Man; Sun Woo is just bringing the pain onto me literally now.
The Rangers climb up the walls as Dale wonders why they are not going into the museum and Colby admits that those jewels in the museum are all glass and fake. Hmm; I wonder if Muffy and Buffy are taking notes here. Good bumping by Dale as he goes into a plumbing pipe and takes a MAN-SIZED bump off-screen for my pleasure. They climb up to the top and through the other vent (which Monty has zero problems getting through) and then Monty panics for no good reason as Gadget blows him off because it's only a dark and spooky hallway. Nice way to rub it in for me there Gadget love. Dale rubs it in even more claiming that the zombie cat is close by and Monty gets scared a bit before recoiling and fakes the courage again with shadow boxing. Kit is way more cooler than you doing that spot Monty. This is getting absurd now. Monty is not over and never getting over. He is so shameless now as a gimmick; it's time to give Gadget, Chip and Zipper the reins now. Or at least Dale who is MONSTER over now. He punches a good suit of armor and it gets destroyed of course as he shudders in fear. Well; it's stiff scared since Sun Woo's animation isn't up to par here. The Rangers run around trying to find him as Chip finds him rolling in the helmet and cannot get it open. Dale pops in as Disney Captions screws up saying kiddo when it's clearly Chipper. How can anyone screw THAT up? Dale would never say kiddo to someone like Chip. They finally open it as we see Monty asking for them to leave the meals outside the door. What is that supposed to mean; I'll never know.
So we logically go outside for more wolf howling and more green/blue effects that make it more like sun rise then night fall. No logic break there; just weird. So we cut back to the roof and through DA...HOLE (god bless Baby Plucky!) as the Rangers walk on a support wooden beam and then look down as Colby shows off the crown jewels of London on a stack of treasure, staffs, swords and hear shaped mirrors. And they look more fake than the glass ones we saw earlier. Bad form there Sun Woo since now I don't care if they do get stolen by Mr. Fat. The Rangers are in awe as Dale jumps down and bounces in wussy fashion. The other Rangers join in and play for a while as Chip laughs off Dale's crowning of being the king of England. Somehow; that would be interesting to see. At least the laugh has improved slightly over Out to Launch. Gadget plays peek-a-boo with the diamond and that scares Colby away (what a shock?)? I don't know if it's the eyes or Gadget's unintentional use of the slang for gay. I just hope it's the former for Gadget's own personal well being. Gadget and Zipper pop from the diamond asking Monty if he thinks that this is great. Monty no sells as Gadget looks up and sees Monty scared like a stiff bunny rabbit next to the support beam.. Gadget gets golly #2 for the episode 15 minutes in after a record setting 13 minutes of golly free action. That is probably is what scaring Monty because Monty can easily jump from that height in previous episodes without fear. Otherwise; it's another stupid contrived logic break.
Thankfully; he's really scared because from the CHEST OF DEMONS out rises the zombie cat of doom. Colby of course disappears into thin air like the coward that he is as the snorting from the zombie cat forces the Rangers to bail into the treasure while Monty simply bails behind the support beam. And then the zombie cat makes the fatal mistake of the episode: It talks like Mepps. Monty still sells it though and he runs away stage left through DA...HOLE like a scalded dog on a hot rod racer. Gadget and the chipmunks (oh man; that stuff just writes itself) pop up in disbelief that Monty would run away like that. I cannot either with that kind of mass dragging him down. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Gadget and company try to bail but Mr. Fat invokes the golden CHEST OF DEMONS and slams the lid shut. Dammit! I wanted to see him get his perverted, dirty paws on Gadget again as Mr. Fat tells the henchmen to come out because the Rescue Rangers are history. And after Monty's performance that is pretty spooky if you ask me. The zombie cat's face opens and out comes mole with the fire extinguisher complaining because they were having fun. Hey; anything to make Monty look bad is A-OK with me! Wart groans about it getting hot in there as Mepps whines about people stepping on his face so they struggle around and fall onto the gold coin with a decent bump as Mr. Fat gleefully ignores them and proclaims that the Rangers have bothered him for the very last time as he orders the henchmen to gather the jewels as the Rangers pop the lid and Mr. Fat proclaims that he has plans for the rodents as the lid slams shut again to end the segment sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we get a cut of outside to a small window and then into the TORTURE CHAMBER: BUT WE'RE NOT TELLING ANYONE as Mr. Fat uses the twist wall door (sense a trend here?) and walks in as he peeps into the CHEST OF DEMONS helpfully showing the Rangers their new playroom. He flips the hook on the lid as Dale blows him off that he's not going to get away with this and the lid slams shut. Mr. Fat then decides to _stretch_ out the agony for them. AHHAHAHAHAHA! He considers the iron maiden; but it's too large and too bloody for his liking as the lid magically reopens by itself and Mr. Fat finally decides on the Crew Cutter which is basically the guillotine. Mr. Fat calls it a horrible toy used to extract confessions from the guilty. Of course nowadays; if you want Disney characters to confess; just tickle them.
See; cartoon characters can take this kind of deadly stuff without pain and suffering (unless it's for dramatic effect), but tickle them and they turn to Jello easily. Even more so with tough guys...even more so if they are children...even more so if they are tough as nails children. Get the picture Little Britches? POW! OUCH! HEY! So Mr. Fat ties up the Rangers on the wooden slab (with a handy belt; how nice?) and pours some water into a leaking cup which is put above Dale's head just to be a dick. Naturally; Dale gets tormented with the prospect of not only being sliced in half; but nailed with water drops on his head ala Kit Cloudkicker from I Only Have Ice For You. Mr. Fat is so evil and he waves goodbye to the Rangers and walks out with the torch and closes the door just to be a bigger dick. Well; at least he got his heat back as Dale get dropped and Gadget tells them not to worry because Monty will save them. At least she hopes as the gullotine drops down slowly just to continue the agony.
So we go outside with more wolf howling (sense another trend here?) as we pan over to a chimera creature statue on the edge of the building and Monty runs towards it and sits down breathing heavily. Then the magical ghost comes out of it's nose (EEWWWWW!) and that scares Monty again. Thankfully; it reforms into Ghost Colby as Monty is scared to death because he thought he seen a ghost. Wow; talk about missing the irony of that statement there Monty. He's truly the theocrat of Aussie Stereotypes everywhere! Colby and Monty exchange notes on how they became cowards and are having the same curse. BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! On second thought; this is worse torture than the Crew Cutter. Sigh. Monty gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and once again breaks logic with the ghost because he's a Rescue Ranger see. Man; how unconvincing to me. Maybe it's a lack of sympathy for Monty; but it just sounds so forced since Monty is still feinting courage like a bigger coward now. Jake Roberts is a sick, perverted genius! Monty and Colby run up the stairs as the henchmen put back on their zombie cat outfit as Mr. Fat tends to the treasure. He wants a really big sack see which is a wee bit disturbing in the wrong context as Mole calls Mr. Fat a grouch.
Well; that is no shock to me as Monty panics because he sees the zombie cat coming down the steps as Colby melts away...and then Monty stops selling fear and gets onto the front of the zombie cat's face because we need to rebuilt Monty's super mouse image instead of building him as a character. No wonder Drake is so screwed up as a character. He does the POWER OF THE PUNCH on the zombie cat's nose and they tumble with sick MAN-SIZED bumps as Colby reforms and bails to the side. Well; at least Sun Woo is game to be manly even if the mistakes are still glaring. The zombie cat drops dead on it's belly on the ground and the back is destroyed allowing the heels to run away complete with Hannah Barbera looping and running sound effect. Now you know you are watching a classic! Monty pops out as Colby thanks him for stopping the Canterville Cat single-handily. Well; he actually did even if the cat was clearly a fake which taints the ordeal a bit, but still that was some mad bumping there so I'll live. Then again; Mole is a bump machine along with Mepps; so there you go. And here comes Zipper OUT OF NOWHERE (I guess he escaped after all) to squeak to Monty that his friends are in the torture chamber..ERRR..I mean dungeon. Monty turns on his heel and tells Colby to deal with Mr. Fat while he saves his friends. You know; if it wasn't already too late for Monty; this would have been a good spot as Monty and Zipper exit downstairs while Colby stammers like Honker after a bullying from Drake.
So we head back to the Crew Cutter of doom as the device hasn't moved an inch since about three minutes ago for I guess logic break #12 or 13 of the episode. Dale is still amusing me as Gadget proclaims that it will stretch the leather for the educational line of the episode and the Rangers try to do the twist; but no dice as it's not loose enough. Good way to make Gadget look weak there guys as Monty runs in to the rescue as he twists the log 90 degrees while Zipper delays the Crew Cutter blade and then the blade slices right down the middle as Monty is SHOCKED and HORRIFIED that Gadget might be split in half; but the good old BS&P logic break #14 of the episode (I think; I stopped counting a long time ago) prevents that as the Rangers are all right and it's time to hurry before Mr. Fat gets away. So we cut back to Mr. Fat proclaiming victory over the Rangers because he has the crown jewels of England as he lays in the treasure wearing the crown and staff to amuse me before he gets buried by Super Mouse Monty. And in comes Sir Colby as he demands Mr. Fat to remove that crown as Mr. Fat is SHOCKED....for about three seconds as Colby gets crowned for logic break #15. Well; that one was a good spot; so I'll live with that one.
Please end this episode now as Colby pops from the crown thus contradicting the logic again (at least William Stansbury did a kick ass job of suspending our disbelief long enough to make the contradiction work for almost 15-18 minutes.) as he blows off Mr. Fat putting the Rangers in the torture chamber. About damn time he admitted that and Colby does the GHOST SCARE OF DOOM and that's enough to scare Mr. Fat backwards and out of the window and into the drink. Oh man; if he used that against the Canterville Cat; this would have never happened. Wow; he redeemed himself after all without Monty's help. Good for him; we got enough Monty relations that are screwed up gimmicks as it is. The Rangers run in to the edge of the window as we cut to outside at the river as Mr. Fat grabs onto a board struggling to swim and then pumps his fist in outrage. Oh well; better luck next time Mr. Fat. Everyone cheers as Colby admits that Monty's inspiration helped him. Hey; sick bumping always helps to pep up a guy; so I approve as Monty and Colby screw up the logic in the hand shake spot which Monty looks confused. Cannot blame for it I guess; unless the writers were painfully trying to torment me with a running contradiction logic joke. Colby floats up into the heavens and disappears since the curse is broken and the Rangers wave goodbye to him as he has rested in peace. Monty calls him a gutsy fellow and I agree even if it made the cat incident look like a bigger joke in hindsight. Chip wonders how he does it and Monty of course takes the credit like an Aussie Stereotype. Fade to black to end the episode at 21:06. Okay; this episode was a complete mess with logic breaks coming out of the wazoo and Sun Woo screwing up big time; but the storyline was solid enough. ** (40%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I was almost expecting another Mind Your Cheese's and Q's episode with probably a record number of logic breaks for this series as the writers simply couldn't keep the logic of the ghost straight enough that it would have been better if Colby was a zombie. Sure; William Stansbury contradicted logic in Her Chance to Dream; but that crap was kept down to only a few spots at the most; and most of the time Stansbury made it look like he was real until the end. I just cannot take this episode seriously when characters can grab ghosts like human being or vice versa when it's impossible to do it to begin with. Sun Woo also created color mistake after screw job mistake; but at least the bumping was top notch for the most part. With that said; Monty did a decent job here. Sure; it's too late to save his character and the writers still made him into a Super Mouse; but at least he redeemed himself when he saved his friends near the end, punched the fake zombie cat's lights out and Colby actually pulled off the one move to stop Mr. Fat from winning. I liked Sir Colby; he looked cool in that outfit of his although the voice is so-so with bad tone and good acting. And he really redeemed himself in the end making Mr. Fat look like a wuss. Everyone else just ran through the motions and didn't suck. This could have been a *** ½ episode easily; but Sun Woo and the writers just couldn't do their jobs properly. Then again; it's basically a rookie writer teamed with an average writer doing an episode animated by Sun Woo. You expect these bad things to happen. So; next up is An Elephant Never Suspects and I dread this one EVEN more now. So.....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you next time.