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A Case Of Stageblight
Also known as a Case of Dale Being Dale Too!
Hard to believe; but this is the last episode of Disc 2 of this volume. So let's not waste anytime and rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Dev Ross. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. And sadly; this one is animated by Sun Woo animation.
Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the third version of the opening sequence again.
We begin this one outside the Government Art Cinema Hall of Doom AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After dark) and geez; that gives new meaning to the term Art of the State. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! And it's also the same sequence we saw in the previous rant only at night and with more elite snobs and in reverse. And the animation is like something you see in recent animation with little detail whatsoever. Nice going Sun Woo as we pan over west to see the Rangerplane enter as Dale sees the theater and wants to land quickly. Gadget sells it and lands the Ranger plane onto the top of the roof. Dale quickly jumps off and runs towards a pipe and hops in as Chip protests this because they have lots of time. Dale doesn't want to miss the cartoon featuring the big dumb duck. I see that Chip and Dale are replaying their glory years in the Disney shorts as the Rangers hop into the smoke pipe and naturally Monty is just TOO FAT to fit in. Can we please retire that spot now? Zipper pushes him in though and we get the first scene changer into the seating area, top bowl as the formal dressing snob elite has taken their seat. Only about a half dozen of them are animated at all and they are animated weakly. We pan over to the catwalk and steel beams as Chip complains about doing more important things than going to the movies. Man; Chip is such a party pooper. He would make a good spokesperson for Mr. Hardcore.
Gadget blows him off because even Rescue Rangers need time off once in a while. I seem to get all the luck even though it's due to bad weather; or injuries to my legs. Dale calls this movie research because it has battles and sword fighting. I'm guessing this is the Ducktales movie that DTVA tried to get over and sucked. See; if Eisner just had Plunder and Lightning as the main movie for DTVA; then it would have had a chance. Plus; a bigger budget and a way to make the pilot look good enough to make profit rather than be an awesome top tier television pilot. Monty wonders where is Zipper since the movie is about to start. And then we cut to the curtains as the stage lights are on and we see Zipper's shadow imposed on the curtains as Zipper is laying down in front of them which spells stop, drop and roll as there is some black smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, MOVIE RATINGS AND DARKWING... DUCK EPISODES!) on his ass complete with sizzle sound. Umm; yeah. Zipper yelps and flies over to Monty to get a pat on that ass relief. EWWWWWW! So; the curtain finally opens to a stage that seems to be a musical version of regal royalty as the spotlights are on complete with classical music. Dale? Fine Arts consumer? WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!
We cut to the throne room as the short fat king wearing curly white English hair; a blue/gold/purple robe and black boot (complete with golden staff that is taller than he is natch) in between two mustache wearing guards in green tights and steel armor with epees. Yeah; like I am going to take THOSE guards seriously as a threat; but it might be a comedy masquerade so you just never know. It begins as Dale is SHOCKED because there is no movie screen. HAHA! Oh that cooky Dale; he managed to screw himself into fine art and Chip has that look of: I am SO enjoying this as we cut to the look off as the Valkyrie Fat Lady (blond hair, helmet with wings, white robe etc.) starts singing opera. HAHA! I don't remember good opera ever being sang in perfect English as Dale realizes that he is NOT watching a movie and Gadget gets off golly #1 for the episode two and a half minutes in because it is a blooming opera (so sezs Monty) as Dale invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DOOM to protest this outrage. And if you listen closely; you can hear Chip laughing badly all the way to the bank. AHHAHAHAHAHA! BONK! OUCH! Ummm...
Gadget and Monty loves this because they get to feel some culture. Wow; that puts Dale square into reality more than Gadget does. No wonder he is so over as the Fat Lady continues to sing just to rub it in to Dale. HAHA! She screws up on the squeak though as Dale hates all this and thus my opinion of him goes up a notch even if it's for the wrong reasons as he storms off to watch television and Chip mocks him which Dale comes back because he might learn to love it. Huh? That's totally out of character for Dale since there is no remote threat of Chip being better than Dale here. Logic break #1 for the episode and a pretty bad one at that. The Fat Lady continues to sing as the window shatters and in comes the smiling Red Coat Zorro Muskteer~! Geez; and you thought the Jonas Brothers were gay? The moral majority midget king orders the guard to get the pirate scum. Good luck fools; you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with those goofy epees. That Red Coat Zorro kicks ass in such a wussy matter that the smile stays intact the whole time. Yeah; this opera is Phantom of the Gay Zorro Opera. I see Drake stole this routine for Darkwing Doubloon. He walks up the stairs as Dale is loving this now because it involves swords and violence. See; this is why having an anti-game bias is NOT a good idea.
He swings on the chandelier and lands in front of the Fat Lady Valkyrie and they kiss and make up. I just cannot take these two seriously as a couple. Dale thinks this is all gross. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. At least it plays for unintentional comedy which I'll take for entertainment value more than anything else. Then again; I thought the Final Fantasy VI Advance Opera with Celes was the best damn opera sequence I ever saw in my life. Gadget is amused by all this as Dale does admit that the sword fighting was great. If he's talking about it in a comedy type way I concur with him. Gadget blows him off and I boo at Gadget for once for ruining Dale's fun at rocking my world. More singing about passion and love and I think the Jonas Brothers should be hanging their heads in shame since this gay pirate is beating the stuffing out of them and he's not even real!! Just because I hate the ADM doesn't mean the Jonas Brothers do not suck. Deal with it fan girls of the world.
So we pan up to the ceiling (which is made of wood by the way) as a panel opens (lighter wood gives it away of course) as we see two human males; one who is a Cesar like dress (check the golden leaves on his ears) and the other is dressed like a bad Frenchman with evil mustache and green outfit. Oh and they have puppet like hands. If these guys are actual human characters then Sun Woo has stooped to a new low of artwork design right there. The Frenchman wants the file for whatever reason as we cut to the sky shot of a green wearing epee welding solider with the porno beard who has got to be slightly more manly than the Red Coat Gay Zorro. And the guy still keeps going with the Barney smile?! Man; that smile needs to be surgically removed; or I'm going to catch the gay at this rate...Or not. Red Coat jumps down (still singing of course) as the next sword fight begins and Dale is giddy and ready to cheer for death. This comedy gay opera does need a goofy death scene just to make it and my life complete even if it's asking for lawsuits that I'm sure will soon follow. Dale jumps onto the pipes as the sword clashing sequence ignites for more unintentional goofy humor which I approve after going through two straight crappy episodes.
Death reference #1 beckons as Dale swings his toothpick. See once again; having an anti-video game bias is NOT a good idea. And now Chip gets involves and the chipmunk do the sequence in stereo. Best comeback from crappy episodes ever! Until Darkwing Duck of course as they parry and dodge like goofs on acid. Dale sadly walks backwards and dodges one too many times and falls off of the lead pipe and onto the Red Coat Zorro's chapeau. YAY! If bad things happen here; then it's all Chip's fault. Remember that one kiddies. Chip calls Dale or the Red Coat Zorro a ham. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments as Red Coat Zorro trumps green porn star and the green lead loses his pants showing red heart underwear. Yeap; it's intentional comedy after all; which is even better as the crowd actually laughs on cue. Irweena must be crying in her tainted water in prison over THAT one. Green Loser Guard bails stage left even remembering to pull up his pants as the Red Coat Zorro and Fat Lady join each other in the front of the stage to a half decent pop from the crowd. Chip watches on as the two bow down to their customers and Chip panics as he sees rope strands shavings coming down and then looks up to see the Frenchmen cutting the rope to a sandbag with a metal file...and those puppet hands have become normal hands. Oy vey there Sun Woo. Red Coat Zorro then grows a brain and walks forward as the sandbag is cut and misses him by a mile. DAMMIT! I knew he would ruin the moment somehow; but then Dale was there on his hat, so I can understand BS&P for that decision. The crowd gasps in horror which leads to Red Coat Zorro looking around and then he faints dead away into the Fat Valkyrie Lady's arms. HAHA! Thank you Dev Ross; that is all I ask of you. This is the best opera EVER!! We get a cut of the Frenchmen looking evil behind the curtain as the puppet hands return again. MAKE UP YOUR MIND SUN WOO!
We cut back to the beam as the Rangers proclaim that this was a close call. NO?! REALLY?! Gadget thinks that accidents do happen which wants me to punch her in the face; but thankfully Chip blows her off for that and it's Rescue Rangers Away as they drop the curtain on this performance in a neat spot. They enter behind the curtain as they drop down inside and Dale is still fencing with his toothpick. HAHA! Dale of course is great as Chip gets pissed off and bonks Dale on the head because he could have been MURDERED. NO?! REALLY?! And Dale sees the broken wooden floor and sandbag; which prompts him to faint dead away on cue right in Chip's arms. HAHA! That was even better than Red Coat Zorro Guy. Sadly the heel puppets are not very bright and Chip spots them right away allowing him to drop Dale like a bad habit. The chase is on as the heels hide underneath a trap door which Zipper notices and Monty opens. This is way too easy at this point and we are barely six minutes in. Sadly; the trapdoor is heavy and requires three rodents, a black shoe from Gadget and an Aussie Stereotype to swear in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (Crikey!). Got that? Good... Monty calls the nippers strong for their sizes as the Rangers climb down into the sewer. Swell; this is turning into a Jamayala Jake episode.
Gadget gets off golly #2 at the six and a half minute mark after four minutes of golly free action. Gadget points out the obvious as we go to the scene changer and the Rangers are paddling on a small makeshift bat with Monty doing all the work and Dale acting like a pirate just to be Dale. Chip naturally protest this outrage just to be a party pooper as usual as Dale restrains himself. And he gets his wish to go faster as Monty rows them into the whirlpool drain. So we get some riding the waves sequences to waste some more time and down a waterfall before coming into the even more foggy version of the sewer. Gadget looks like she is going to die at this rate and Chip's not far behind. Monty calls this a ride since his wallaby had the fidgeting hiccups. NO?! REALLY?! Then again; this is Monty and his BS stories so take THAT one with a barrel of salt. We get some creepy awesome organ pipe playing as Monty is so impressed that he forgets to speak English or Aussie whatsoever. HAHA! We pan over to an brick stair case which leads to some abandoned tracks and a train boxcar. Okay; that is pretty different. The boat lands against the docks with a burning torch which seems to be out of control as Gadget gets off golly #3 for the episode because they are in some other world. NO?! REALLY?! Chip wonder why those two puppet heels would want to live down here in some stinky swamp and Monty gleefully answers that one for me since the rent is cheaper. Okay; that logic makes sense; sort of.
So we then hear the French Villain (Helpfully labeled as such by Disney Captions) call out someone as a putrid toad because the opera singer would be flat as a kite if it wasn't for this stand in. Huh? Flat as a kite?! That's one metaphor I don't get since kites usually soar high in the sky. I guess BS&P thought soar would be an illegal drug reference in 1989. The Ranger run up the stairs as they see a bunch of puppets (check the lack of legs on them) as the French men and the Cesar Man blow each other off for failing to get rid of a no-talent actor like Clarence Dudley. So he's the Red Coat Zorro Gay Guy? Man; these two would be perfect for the ADM. They got the no-talent hating skills down to a tee for less money. At least Sun Woo has made up it's mind about the hands though. And then the Frenchmen nails the Cesar man with the wooden SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT to enforce the point I guess. And those shots are so wussy that they have to be puppets...as if the hands DIDN'T GIVE THAT AWAY ALREADY!
The Rangers are SHOCKED at this wussy violence so Cesar Man steals the wooden sledgehammer and nails the Frenchmen and the shot are even less manly. Eat your hearts out though Jonas Brothers! These guys are STILL more manly than you. He even said stop in French which is apporos since he is a French Villain after all. Dale call them pint-sized twerps and he can take'em. Yeah; the same guy who thought he could kick Mr. Capone's ass while wearing Fry's outfit, surrrreeee Dale. Dale runs in as Chip thinks he's insane and Gadget pleads for Dale to come back; but no dice. Dale climbs up onto the stage and the Frenchmen steals the mallet and misses by a mile as Dale pokes the toothpick right in the nose even though Sun Woo has the toothpick not even touching the nose. Frenchmen calls that nasty rodent's shot unfair. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Dale throws away the toothpick and want to kick his ass with his own bare hands and feet. Okay; that just makes me take him less seriously now.
Even Monty thinks Dale is getting too cocky and I must agree with him as Cesar man blows him off because this is the best part. I suspect we are going to realize that they are just puppets now as Dale grabs French Villain and then the puppet rise as we see the puppet master who is a gator furry with a black/red cape who look like he's a reject for the Count from Sesame Street. He wears a purple/red/black hat with a green feather on top as well as Dale is SHOCKED and APPALLED by this deception as well as I am; if the puppets had real hands instead of puppet hands throughout the episode. Dale drops down on his ass on the stage as the gator notices the other Rangers and wonders if he has an audience. Yeah; you have an audience who wants to put you in jail right now for false advertising of an attempted murder. The Rangers back up as they introduce themselves and the gator introduces himself by patting on his puppets with his tail to regain his laughable voice acting. Cesar Man does the intro as he praises the gator (DUH!) as Monty whisper yells to Gadget that the gator is cracked. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Monty. He is Sewernose De Bergerac which is an absolute kick ass name for a gator character. Amazed Jymn Magon didn't steal that one for TaleSpin; or this plot line for that matter since it would make a killing on that show. The Cesar man is Euripides as I think Brian Cummings is voicing Euripides since it's same voice as the ultra cool sidekick Toadie.
The French Villain rises from the dead and blows him off because he sucks. Yeap; this guy is insane, crazy and so Mr. Hardcore that he is the heel by proxy. Euripides and French Villain get into a puppet choking fight (HA!) as the French Villain blows Sewernose off for not being able to take criticism. That sounds like the New Disney fans after the ADM blows their heroes off and vice versa. Sewernose claims that he can while shouting badly because criticism allows him to grow which turns him babyface in my eyes for obvious reasons. I like it when the heel can admit to the truth about the customer. Sewernose proclaims that he performs with some of the best in the world and Monty blows it off as BS whisper yelling in Dale's ear now. BWHAHAHAHAHA! Scared of the competition there you Aussie Stereotype?! He throws the puppets away into a bunch of flower pots and thus foreshadowing Drake's fate every time he faces Bushroot. HAHA! I am so loving this as Sewernose slides towards his seat where the CRACKED MIRROR OF VANITY is there. He then dims the light and puts a spotlight on him as he explains his life. See; he was cruelly torn from his nest in a Louisiana bayou when he was barely out of his egg and was sent to a city pet store. I betcha it was Gidget Pet Shop too. AHHAHAHAHAHA! CHOMP! OUCH! Ummm...
Great acting on Sewernose's part as he talks about the psychological damage going there caused. I cannot fight that overwhelming logic there Sewernose. He then went home as a baby and then got flushed down the toilet into the sewers by someone's mother. Okay; that was KNASTY! The acting even more so as Gadget is reduced to the tears. The over dramatic acting is ruining the pathos; but I don't care since Sewernose is all COMEDY BABY! He lives under the cinema as somehow the puppet stay alive despite not being together with Sewernose until he rises from the flowerpots. Now that sequence was AWESOME BABY!! The Rangers think this guy is a psycho and runs off down the stage onto the ground; but the woode cage stops them dead in their tracks. HAHA! The puppet tell them not to stay since the show has just begun as Sewernose wants them to stay for dinner cinema and laughs an evil laugh because he wants to have the Rangers for dinner see. Now THAT'S a quality heel. Zoom out the laughing with creepy music to end the segment nearly 11 minutes in. Picture Don Karnage without the puppets and with guns/swords and you got Sewernose.
After the commercial break; as the purple curtain rises and Sewernose introduces the dinner theater which has a western theme as we see the Rangers as bondage cowboy puppets! HOLY CRAP?! This guy is so EVIL! And no; I didn't see this episode and took notes for the Nega Puppet fanfic at all; so don't ask. The Rangers try to protest; but the taped mouths prevents anything but swearing like chipmunks. We begin the sequence with Evil Cowboy Sheriff Monty ordering Sweet Water Gadget to pay the rent or the dog gets stolen and MURDERED more or less. This is absolutely great; this is how Monty should be talking as a character. Zipper is the dog spot of course as he bops Monty on the head. I don't care if it was intentional or not; it was funny nevertheless. Sweet Water Gadget blows him off looking mad instead of acting like a panic state. And in comes Texas Cowboy Chipper and his trusty sidekick Cowboy Jed Dale because Michael Eisner just has to rub it in on Kit being a mere sidekick to Baloo because somehow seeing Ted Heinz pissed off turns Eisner on. Sewernose is having the time of his life using the puppets of rodents for his perverted pleasure that would make Mr. Fat hang his head in shame. Believe me that almost NEVER happens.
That of course leads to the lamest puppet fight this side of Madrake/Dexter; only with more manly punches. Well; Monty is certainly being a Dexter here; and he's not even a dork. This is getting really sadistic; but in a good way. Dale finally manages to get the tape off his mouth and protests this outrage. I agree with him; this is so evil for Sewernose to turn him into a mere sidekick for Eisner to develop bad habits on. Dale does the funniest whirlwind spot in history and that ties up the bondage cowboy puppet rangers and the whole show to boot. HAHA! Sewernose tries to untangle them; but no dice. And then he blows them off like Mr. Hardcore on speed to make sure that he doesn't turn babyface on me. It's good to know that a bit villain like Sewernose knows how to be an effective heel. So Sewernose decides to eat them after all and Gadget manages to get her tape off her mouth and apologizes for sucking in the show. NO?! REALLY?! I find that hard to believe Gadget love. I mean Monty's workrate increase 3000% with this sequence.
I think she's underestimating Sewernose's elite attitude there. The babyfaces praise Sewernose for his acting skill and somehow that tape cannot shut up Monty's first too right of the episode. Even better than Red Coat Gay Zorro Guy Clarence Dudley. Sewernose predictability sells it because he's a cocky elite snob. Sewernose jumps down and ties the Rangers against a hook as he continues to proclaim that he's better than Clarence Dudley. A pooperniggle? That sounds close to being racist there Sewernose. The spotlight is on him as he proclaims that this will be Dudley's final performance and then disappears in a puff of smoke. Yeah sure as Monty calls him battier than a room full of Jamaican Fruit Bats. Oh lord; why must you test me so with this Aussie Stereotype? How ironic that the racial stereotype comment is made by a stereotype in itself. He does admit that he is entertaining which is perfectly true.
So we head to Clarence Dudley's dressing room as Clarence is sitting in his chair with a brown wig in front of the MIRROR OF VANITY. What is up with the pink slippers he is wearing? Man; the guy really is gay and everyone accused Baloo and KIT of being gay?! Talk about slanderous smear tactics by the SB&C. Naturally he is Red Coat Gay Zorro as he gets a knock on the door and it's Sewernose asking if he wants candy gum and he refuses. Nice to see the goof is smart enough not to accept candy from strangers. He is watching his figure and his hay fever since he also refuses the flowers from Sewernose outside. This guy is smarter than he looks. Which means he's probably a homosexual. So Sewernose goes for the sure fire way to get the door open: the singing telegram. Don Karnage's favorite type of telegram as Disney Captions doesn't know French to save it's life (it's drole you morons!). Clarence sells that as he goes to the door which is painted banana yellow. DAMN YOU GEDO!
The door opens and in comes Cesar Man in his ultra cool sidekick Toadie voice praising Clarence for being a celebrity through and through. Sewernose is downright insane; there's no other explanation for this silliness. He has a big fat ego; but that's okay because Sewernose is going to eat him. I think this completely kills the logic the premise of the show was trying to build from the start since the humans are not supposed to know about the Rangers or the talking rodents at all other than Norton of course who is also an insane, whiny, tiny manhood dork. Clarence backs up and panics like a scared rabbit; but Sewernose goes for the desk and gets the alum spray and sprays stuff into his mouth. Ooooookkkkkayyy.... Sewernose decides that he cannot eat before he performs; so he has Cesar Man pull the lever (WRONG LEVER!) on the prop throne and they push Clarence into the storage bottom of the throne chair and shut it down. Okay; that was really nasty and over the line for a TV-Y cartoon guys. I've heard of going back in the closet but this is absurd as Clarence tries to protest this outrage; but he is rejected again. Sewernose scouts the outside to see if no one is looking at him and then slams the door shut.
So we head back to Sewernose's dressing room as Gadget gets off golly #4 14 minutes in after seven minutes of awesome golly free action. Zipper tries to struggle; but he ties himself up in the strings DUH! Gadget then looks forward and sees a toy solider puppet on strings with a black painted prop sword. Damn! Sewernose has got to learn not to keep sharp objects; even prop items. The stereotypical western keeps playing as Sweet Water Gadget jumps off Monty's pot belly and gets into the arms of the wooden toy solider and she blushes. Okay; now Gadget love is showing off as Monty proclaims that the uniform makes her go crazy. Man; talk about balancing Gadget's character out good. I'm sure that spot would never exist in the new Disney. Gadget grabs the sword and naturally Sun Woo screws up because I don't remember it being in a hilt and being gray in the first place. This sadly is par for the course as Gadget swings like Tarzan on drugs and cuts the strings which allow the male rangers to take decent bumps with their faces on the floor. Gadget swings up and cuts her own strings and falls with a wussy bump doing the splits. OUCH! That would have been painful if Sun Woo didn't BS&P the spot. The Rangers change clothes and Dale proclaims that they need to save Clarence because someone has to save the gays. Dale: hero to homosexuals everywhere.
So we get the scene changer and head to the trap door as apparently the black shoe is gone (probably due to Sewernose no doubt) and the Rangers struggle; but get the trapdoor up and then run away to avoid the humans underneath them. They run to the corner where the workers dressed in all gray are lifting the throne and having a hell of a time lifting it which should be an obvious clue to the Rangers where Clarence is. Monty wonders if they got here before Sewernose and calls on Zipper to do his ten seconds of work for the episode as he peeps into the keyhole of Clarence's dressing room like a peeping tom. He sees the dressing barrier of doom as Sewernose is grunting and putting on Clarence's outfit for the show as Zipper squeaks to the Rangers that he is here. So that leads to the good old human chain ladder spot from the rodents and naturally; Dale gets to screw Chip with his feet. HEE HEE! They sway towards the door as Gadget tries to grab the door knob; but no dice. Gadget then realizes what she needs to do and then uses her tail to open the door knob which makes sense since the door was shut but not unlocked from the inside. I thought we would see the old Gadget puts the tail in keyhole scene which has been re-animated about six times according to Ranger legends; but it's not. Sewernose is ready with his Red Coat Zorro Outfit on as he makes it to the door and opens it which knocks the Rangers away into the brick wall and steel chair ring. Sadly; Sewernose walks away without even seeing them as Monty is hung out to dry. Chip panics as he is heading for the stage to ruin Clarence's career which is silly since he wants to ADVANCE his own career; not kill it for the sake of revenge on Clarence. Sewernose hums as he walks away and that ends the segment nearly sixteen and a half minutes in....
After the commercial break; we get a static shot of the cinema seating area as the curtain opens and the actors are in position ready for a show. We then cut to ground level near a green wall as the Rangers slide in. Dale wonders if they see Sewernose and Monty of course doesn't. Chip wants to get Sewernose back into the sewers before he hurts someone's career. Okay; I made up the career part as the Ranger wonder where he is as we cut to the throne with the midget king again as the masquerade shall begin in earnest. No guard this time which pretty much shoots the CONTINUITY of this comedy opera all to pieces. So the Fat Lady Valkyrie appears on the balcony again and starts singing in perfect English again to indicate that this is a comedy opera; DUH! We then cut to the directors behind the curtain and then pan up to the wooden catwalk above the color lights as Sewernose is having his psycho episode with his puppets who keep criticizing him. Naturally; it's the French Villain puppet doing it to him again. French Villain is Voltaire for the fifteen of you who care as he gets dropped good on his face. HAHA!
Euripides cheers him on like the ultra cool sidekick would. Well; he has Toadie's voice so it's apporos. He drops him gently against the steel pole and the puppet tells him to kill them. Sewernose proclaims that if the audience reaction is bad; he might just do it literally. Now that is one crazy psycho heel there as the singing continues as she calls out for her pirate friend and the singing stops to reveal nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! The midget king is SHOCKED as the crowd isn't liking this. And just to kill the CONTINUITY even more; there are the guards back. Were they testing them for drugs or something? I just knew Larson and Gary would be involved in this play somehow. The Fat Lady Valkyrie sings for the pirate to return to him as we cut to the catwalk above as Sewernose has the ropes and swings through the blue wall set as the Fat Lady Valkyrie giggles before hand. The Animal Clowns below (check the goofy masks on their heads along with the noble clothes.) bail as Sewernose lands on the green rug with a MAN-SIZED bump and then slips on the rug complete with Hanna Barbera looping and running sound effect. Now you know you are watching a classic! He runs into the wall with a MAN-SIZED bump and a bucket on his foot. HAHA!
Joey Styles: We just fixed those walls!
The janitors blow him off because the mask he wears makes his face look good as Dale suddenly is beside Chip near the broom. Huh?! Shouldn't Dale be beside Sewernose since the shot was near Monty? Sun Woo logic hurts my head. Chip and Dale bail as Sewernose enters the scene with a bucket on his foot singing that he's here to save the day...badly. Well; this is a comedy so it fits I guess. Fat Lady Valkyrie is SHOCKED and APPALLED as Gadget looks to the bathroom for her plan to work as Sewernose bashes the guards in a much more manly fashion. Now that's the spirit Sewernose; be a piss ant. Everyone gets bashed and crashed with MAN-SIZED bumps galore. Wow; he just turned into a complete babyface in my book which is just going to hurt the finish right there. We cut to Gadget and Monty with wrenches going into the spare bathroom (like I need that break with Sewernose around?) as we see Sewernose swing the chandelier again and lands with Fat Lady Valkyrie as she sings and this is just plain creepy to watch. She takes it well though which tells me beastilty is alive and well in DTVA sort of.
Sadly; his mouth shouts too loud and the Fat Lady Valkyrie screams and bails because it's a real crocodile. Everyone bails on cue (as if they didn't NOTICE already?) as Chip and Dale decide to go on stage. Sewernose sucks him thumb and that's enough for the crowd to scream and leave on cue. Man; those guys are art snobs to the extreme to be scared of someone sucking their thumb. Sewernose jumps down and blows them all off for hating him and he wants them for dinner thus projecting the whole critic builds character crap he preached earlier and thus turns heel in my eyes again. And then we see Chip on the edge of the balcony singing at the Fat Lady Valkyrie. Oh man; he must have drawn the short toothpick to get that role which means Dale will play the Green Loser Guard from earlier since it's already been shown in the openings of this series. Sewernose sells it (DUH!) and they sing and face it; it sounds much funnier with the high C-pitch voice from Chip. Dale asks if Gadget is done and she is; but Dale's job is to dress up as the Green Loser Guard and drive Sewernose into the fountain. Dale salutes her and bails as the funny opera singing continues. And then Dale starts singing just to bring on the funny even more as Dale appears on the ground with the largest epee he could find and gets off death reference #2 for the episode. And now we go into en grade phase two and this is legit sword fighting BABEE! We then see Gadget and Monty with the wrench and pliers saying that it is done and it's up to the chipmunks to dump Sewernose into the fountain. We have two minutes left in the episode so this should be quick.
We cut back to the white stair case as the BEST SWORD DUEL COMEDY IN HISTORY commences further as Dale backs up the stairs with Sewernose matching him step for step. Dale gets on top as the throne locker opens and Clarence bails stage left as he wants to be a doctor. Well that is actually more dignified as a gay person so I approve of his decision and thus Sewernose has won what he wanted which was to bury Clarence Dudley's career. Sewernose and Dale clash swords and Dale jumps right onto the railing and slides down as Sewernose blows him off calling it child's play. So he foolishly slides on the railing and crashes into a flower pot and dives into the musical area destroying the musical stuff and gets his head stuffed in a tuba. HAHA! Sewernose even admits that he intentionally did that spot for comic relief. This is the best Rescue Ranger episode EVERAH! Gadget yells at Dale to get him into the fountain as Dale adjusts his bearings. You know for once; screw Gadget love as Dale is stealing the show as usual. Sewernose re-enters with a tuba on his head and a drum on the same foot as the bucket earlier. HAHA! Nice touch of continuity for a change there Sun Woo. The tuba get unpopped (BOO! HISS!) as he spins around just to amuse me as Dale proclaims that it's time for him to take a bath.
The drum gets unpopped from his foot and it's more sword dueling to amuse me. I am so loving this episode as Dale has him backed up; but Sewernose is simply playing with him at this point (Zounds! I am undone- yeah right?!) as Dale backs him about a step against the fountain; but counters and drives the sword away from Dale's paw which misses Chip Fat Lady by about five feet. See; he is the hero of this play. ZOUNDS! Dale is so (insert swear word here) as Monty now has an idea and bails with Gadget stage right. Oh god please no Dev Ross! Don't use Monty as the finish! This was a PERFECT episode!! DON'T BLOW IT! Sewernose does some excellent sword play and destroys the green guard outfit; but manages to keep Dale's Hawaiian shirt intact. Now that is excellent acting there as Sewernose decides to go for the kill as Dale cowers in fear; but the puppets (?!!) show up and they all blow off Sewernose for hacking the play to ribbon.
Oh please Dev no; NOT THIS FINISH!! And of course Sewernose cuts a Cesar death promo on Euripides and backs up allowing Chip and Dale to place his tail in the fountain and Zipper flushes the toilet. DAMN YOU DEV ROSS!! Now I like the flushing the toilet spot to defeat Sewernose; but that is a cheap cop out finish that only serves to get Monty somehow directly involved in the finish. He's NOT over and never will be over so forget about it and let Gadget do the finish instead. Sewernose goes into the pipes and he is out of sight as the lame puppets of doom run onto the stage with Ranger fanfare music on as the Rangers laugh at his expense and Sewernose will never work in this town again after that lame finish. Cut to the sewer drain to end the episode and disc two at 21:16. Well; the streak of no thumbs up episodes ends at four; but man Dev Ross had a perfect episode and she ruined it by having the Aussie Stereotype come up with the finish. DAMMIT! By the way the song is called: Pirates of Peejma. And I thought the pee jokes weren't a staple until about 2004. Sewernose still rocked though as well as Dale and after three straight thumbs down episodes; it would be stupid to complain about it anyway. **** ¾ (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I absolutely enjoyed this episode fully as it was one of those beautiful disconnects between what the customer wants and the heel acting like an MURDEROUS artist. I love Sewernose; he was an awesome Don Karnage lite character with flair and some mad skills with the sword. He would have perfect for a TaleSpin episode cameo. He got the acting and sadist skills to pull it off. And naturally Dale was awesome including his sword dueling skills near the end. Sadly; Dev Ross pulled off a real lame finish having Monty involved in using a bunch of critic puppets to force Sewernose's tail into the fountain so the toilet could be flushed. It's a funny spot; but Monty involvement just hurts it because it was designed to get Monty directly involved in the finish with no build up or context to Monty needing to redeem himself in anyway when it's Dale who needed the redeeming. Really sad; because other than several minor continuity mistakes from Sun Woo; Dale and Sewernose were so overwhelming that the episode was perfect. Then again; after half of the disc being clunkers; I am happy to see this episode because it was damn fun to watch as a comedy parody to snobbish opera. I'm sure the opera snobs will decry this as the end of opera as we know it. Quite frankly; I don't give a darn.
So that ends disc two of this volume and it was the truly one of the most terrible discs to date as I counted four thumbs down, four thumbs up and one in the middle. As bad as Darkwing Duck can get; Rescue Ranger manages to find a way to become dull as dishwasher at times. Sure; DW had negative star episodes; but they were laughably bad that they were worth watching just on a bad movie Agony Booth sort of way. This is just plain dull and it shows that after hindsight; it's safe to say that Rescue Ranger fandom was built on Gadget's major importance to DTVA along with Dale just being Dale. Hopefully the final nine episodes will be more exciting as we have some Zipper focused episodes; Palov's Revenge; a Heaven's Gate angle, Dale with another pet; a mummy; a werewolf and Robodog: The Catz edition! So....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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