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Fake Me To Your Leader

Reviewed: 03/07/2009

Only Disney could see Gadget using her tail to unlock something as offensive!

Wow; we finally get our second focused Zipper episode of the series and it's the return of Norton Nimnul. Sadly; this is also a Mark Edens written episode too; so I'm fearful for the quality of this episode already. So let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Mark Edens. The story was edited by Bryce Malek and supervised by Tad Stones. The animation is done by Wang Films/Cuckoo's Nest Studios .

Annoying Moment #1: And we return to the second version of the opening sequence again.

We begin this one at Rescue Ranger Headquarters as we head to the launchpad as Gadget has put the finishing touches on a new way to fly which is called the Ranger Rocket. And sadly; even Gadget falls prey to the overwhelming force of Gedo's fashion sense. And what is the deal with all that pink shoelace there Gadget love? Did someone withhold a date with you or something? Gadget wants Monty to launch the rocket launcher; but Zipper squeaks out and shows off the lamest muscles this side of Bugs Bunny. Zipper grabs the shoelace which magically turns brown on the close shot as Gadget question's Zipper's strength. I think she should question the merits of using Wang Films for eight of the nine episodes in this volume set. Zipper actually manages to slingshot the rocket into flight and Gadget panics on cue. And so we cut to ground level as the male rodents run like the wind in an easterly direction because they are going to miss the test flight and Monty is being a slow poke. Man; talk about making Eleroo look really weak there guys. Sadly; they miss the test flight easily; but they don't miss seeing the test rocket crash into the ground and shattering into a million pieces. Considering that Zipper was tied to the shoelace; I would say I smell foreshadowing going on here. Zipper pops up as does Monty which makes no sense since I didn't see the male rodents anywhere NEAR the test rocket. Monty and the male rodents start blowing Zipper off for launching the test rocket because he's too puny see. Zipper sulks away as Monty pets him hard proclaiming that he is a wee little dodger. Man; the cycle of hating short people continues even in cartoons.

Zipper should take oily scumbag of the decade Dan Dawson's advice: Don't let the little people pull you down; no matter HOW big they are. BURN BABEE BURN as we go inside the weight room with Zipper yanking on the pulley weights. How can I NOT like this blue bottle fly? I mean he can trip three humans with only his foot for goodness sakes! We get some pop music as Zipper drops on his face after two pulls on the weights and then he proceed to run on the record player. He runs out of breath and spins around the player which leads to him skipping rope instead. Do you see the Aussie Stereotype doing this awesome crap? Even more awesome when you do it backwards and hook onto a hook in the process. Then we proceed to Zipper trying to lift a steel rod nut bell. That is a pretty awesome upgrade from the cherry dumb bells from Battle of the Bulge. Sadly; he cannot lift then to save his life as Monty enters the room in disbelief because he's actually putting more than ten seconds of effort into an episode. Maybe it's because the writers finally realized that you suck Monty. Have you ever thought of that? Zipper manages to lift the thing with all his might which proves that the steroids might be kicking in at this point; but they die on him and Zipper is forced to throw the weight down as Monty proclaims that he needs his confidence to be built up.

And so we logically go to Chip's room (judging by the badges and love for pictures of police officers on the wall in the background) trying to blow up a balloon to do the whole fake dumbbell spot from Dale in Battle of the Bulge....And speaking of the MIRACLE WORKER #2; Dale sneaks up from behind and yells hello to Monty allowing him to choke on his own air. HAHA! Monty blows him off for sneaking up and being over. Okay; I made up the over part as Dale asks what he is doing. Monty explains that he is trying to boost Zipper's confidence by blowing up balloons; putting them on opposite points of a pencil and painting them black to make Shawn Michaels run for cover. Or something like that as Dale grabs the wet paint paint brush of doom and the black paint splashes all over Chip's head. HAHA! Chip protests this outrage as Dale laughs him off; which earns him a bucket of black paint over his head. HAHA! Chipmunk Wrestling Entertainment Softcore Style~! AHHAHAHAHAHA! Naturally; the black paint dries instantly as Monty tests the fake dumb bell and then puts it on the ground in order to call for Zipper to arrive. Zipper flies in tired as Monty proclaims that he's tried and needs Zipper to carry his fake dumb bell back to the workshop. Zipper grabs it and lifts it easily; but the power of the balloons overwhelms him as the thing with Zipper flies out of the window and Zipper falls on his ass on the ground as the fake dumb bells pops allowing Monty and Dale to laugh at his expense. Oh that was so mean spirited of them to screw with his mind like that as Zipper looks like he is going to have to call the water works. This just makes me hate Monty even more now and makes him look like a henchmen heel. I can see Dale playing this joke; because he always likes playing mean-spirited jokes even if he doesn't mean it. Monty should know better than to stoop to this low with this crap. And what a way to deflate a perfectly good episode in the process barely three and a half minutes into it.

So Zipper sulks onto a blue car which is towed away by the tow truck police force as the male rodents admit that they hurt his feeling. Geez; you THINK you Aussie Stereotype?! I just knew he would ruin this episode somehow. So we logically head to the junkyard as we pan over to a daisy and some classical music to boot. The butterfly lands on the daisy but the butterfly net negates that as we see the return of Norton Ninmul and his tiny, whiny, dorky manhood. And after all the crap I took from Monty; I look forward to Norton now. Norton throws the butterfly away because it's not disgusting enough as Norton has turned into the Fred Phelps of heels. He lifts up a broken board with nails in it to reveal a bunch of brown ugly bugs remembering to use the magnifying glass to force the point. He is more giddy than usual as we bails into his makeshift house which has to reduce Norton on the dignity scale by about seven notches or so. The tow truck arrives with the blue car as Zipper is still sulking on the license plate. Zipper falls down and bops one of the ugly bugs on the landing with a wussy bump which is apporos since he is a fly. The bug protests this outrage and Zipper blows him off; only to be surrounded by five ugly bugs. I'm beginning to wonder if Shawn Michaels was watching this show for pointers on how to make excuses? Suddenly; Norton returns with his big manhood gun (called the Gigantico Ray for all you G-rated fans out there) as he switches the arrow to the red Big section. We cut to the pill bugs (helpfully said as such by Norton) as they back Zipper up as Norton zaps them with his Big Manhood Laser of Doom and the pill bugs get dizzy and jarred by Norton. Zipper is zapped; but he escapes punch drunk, DUH! Zipper bumps into a headlight and then flies away to Rescue Ranger Headquarters. Okay; that was pretty quick and painless....

Zipper opens the door and flies in with sunglasses on for no real reason over than to look less drunk and more cool I guess. The rodents all greet him in a contrived fashion with Dale being the only one who actually attempts to apologize for calling him too small which Chip answers with covering his mouth. Yeah; because we have to act contrived since Zipper is too forgiving to do it otherwise. Monty has something on the table behind the white cloth with the black letter M on it. Must be Monty's dishcloth he uses to wipe his ass with as he lifts it to reveal a plate of badly digested watermelon rind. Yeah; like I'm buying Monty's extremely poor use of French there. Zipper gets his mouth watered and flies down and eats the watermelon quickly as he appears to be about half the size of Dale's head. I guess it doesn't take much to amuse him as the other Rangers think he looks different as Dale points out the obvious just to be Dale. Zipper burps like the rude blue bottle fly that he is as we logically head back to Norton's Junkyard Lab of Doom as Norton is inside pondering about wooden panels as he grabs one and opens the wooden cage of pill bugs allowing them to munch to their hearts content. Norton gets off devil reference #1 on them as the pill bugs eat away like Hoppo on a See Food Diet. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....

He uses the white ruler to measure them and in typical hardcore dorky fashion he blows them off for not growing fast enough. So he goes to the table and grabs his manhood and shoots it into the cage of lazy pill bugs allowing them to giggle as if the ray is tickling them. Okay that was more disturbing than I had intended as we return to Rescue Ranger Headquarters again as the male rodents are pulling up the Ranger Rocket again with Gadget in the pilot seat this time as Zipper arrives from behind who has grown to be bigger than ANY of the Rangers now is asking for help. Monty agrees to it if he only thinks he can be of some help. Zipper flies up and pushes the Ranger Rocket from underneath and places it perfectly on the launchpad as Gadget is amazed because Zipper is bigger and stronger than Monty. Which makes Monty Meg's bitch now. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm....Monty swears in DUBBED AUSSIE STYLE (crikey!) because that melon did put meat on them bones as Chip doesn't buy that one. Dale agrees because they might actually be shrinking. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Dale as Chip bonks Dale on the head and blows him off proclaiming that his brain is the only thing shrinking. Sadly; his work rate is increasing so it doesn't help Chip in any way. Monty is amazed at the horsepower as Zipper cheers on for victory over the Aussie Stereotype which I approve of.

So we logically return to the junkyard as Norton is pulling some rubber off of some old tires as he hears the pill bugs munching noises again and then walks in with the yanked rubber to find that the cage has been destroyed. Norton panics as he sees that the pill bugs are now officially bigger than he is and they are eating him out of house and home?! I guess his lab was destroyed putting this episode somewhere after Normie's Science Project. Norton protests this outrage and they shrug their shoulder before no selling and eating some more wood. Norton grabs his manhood and sets it to Stop Growth which is the green section and the pill bugs get zapped on cue. They sell that shot..for about three seconds as one of the pill bugs eat more wood. Norton is PISSED as he sets his manhood to Shrink (white section this time) and he zaps the pill bugs reducing him back down to normal size instantly which contradicts the psychology of the gun as a slow grow/shrink ray. Oh well; you knew there would be a logic break in this episode at some point as Norton threatens to squash the bug with his foot which never goes out of style. The pill bug rolls away like a scalded dog as Norton threatens to unleash his manhood on the rest of them and they shake in fear. I would too if someone threatened their manhood at me as Norton walks away telling them to eat anything other than wood as he goes to a balloon and fills it with a tank filled with helium so much at he destroys the entire house thus rendering his threat pointless. Well; he is a dork so it's apporos.

We then return to headquarters as Gadget sits Zipper down for tests on his growth spurt. Gadget uses the doctor scope of doom to test Zipper as Monty wonders if it's the melon rind recipe and Gadget's conclusion is that he has gotten so big is because he's growing very fast. NO?! REALLY?! Fedora Hatless Chip asks if there is some way to make him stop growing as Zipper is now about seven times bigger than all the Rangers put together and growing more by the minute it seems. Gadget asks Zipper to hold his breath and flap his wings which Zipper sells and he makes more wind as Gadget and the gang go flying and hanging on. Just what this episodes needs: More windbags. And speaking of windbags; Dale turns the television knob on and on the television appears Stan Blather. That is what I call a segue as Stan's mouth stops moving despite him talking on the far shot; and then the animation continue as normal on the near shot of the television as Stan is in front of the building where the mayor is as the mayor has agreed to meet with the space creatures' leader. Did Stan get a movie role or something while he was drunk in Battle of the Bulge?

Even Dale of all people is not buying this as he turns the television off. Character development? In a children's show? Chip turns on the television knob and I wonder if this is opposite day in the land of DTVA as we see a shot of the giant pill bugs dressed up as goofy Power Ranger Monster Rejects. Norton's voice demands are to give them fuel for their spaceship which is ten tons of a substance call gold. Now I don't want to be picky here; but anyone with an IQ of 20 or more knows that this is fake beyond question. Then again; it's a Tad Stones production; what did you expect? Of course Norton isn't there and is talking through a red light beeping device on the pill bug who has a hat which looks like a red motorcycle front shell. The mayor of the city (a midget who wears a black top hat and carries a white scroll) tries to protest this outrage; but the pill bugs eat the white scroll. At least the giant pill bugs are threatening enough to convince me on some level. The army and the police are SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as police calls on the transmitter that the bugs are attacking the mayor.

The green uniform wearing military commander (with Mr. Fat voice) proclaims that this is a job for his squad and orders his men to fire as we cut to a bunch of military officers behind a statue firing machine guns behind a bunch of sandbags along with tanks firing as they miss everything except for the building in the background which cause little damage. What a lame spot that was?! Even the commander wants to cease fire; so even he knows that spot sucks. The pill bugs recoil as the officers shake in fear as Norton demands the gold; or else the pill bugs invade Earth as we cut to Stan Blather on the television wrapping up the news story with the usual cliches as Zipper is confused at all this as Chip proclaims that there is something strange about those creatures. I smell Dale cracking a cute joke at 10:15...I check the DVD....OH MY GOD! Dale sounds normal and GADGET'S cracking the joke. This is truly opposite day! Chip proclaims that it's time to check the mayor's office as it is Rescue Rangers away 10 and a half minutes in. Zipper destroys the front door after everyone else leaves through it and lands on his face as he feels bad about the damage he is doing. Gadget waves it off as she wants everyone to hop aboard the Ranger Rocket in which Zipper flies and jumps onto it; destroying it of course...and everyone is SHOCKED and APPALLED by THAT one. Chip does the Gruffi pose to annoy me as Zipper feels bad about it....

.for about three seconds as we get the scene changer and we head into the city as the Rangers are being flown by Zipper himself. Dale is giddy by this new helicopter; but then a woman dressed in red on the sidewalk screams because she sees a giant housefly in the air. Everyone else bails panicking that Zipper is one of those aliens as the sirens of doom wail and a bumpy police car arrives Manga Style~! We then cut to inside the front window as a police officer grabs the transmitter and calls all cars on a UFO sighting. He has a chipped tooth as well as Chip panics because they need to get out of there. Zipper flies off as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE GIANT FLY EDITION~! Monty protests this because there are no seat belts. Oh lighten up you Aussie Stereotype! Zipper flies around the bend which dislodges the rodents as they get flung right into a conveniently placed trash can as the police officer go on foot with pistols packing heat BABEE! The officer run after Zipper shooting their bullet shooting guns at Zipper. If you think there are too many guns in this series; wait until TaleSpin and you'll find about 80% of the episodes with these guns on a regular basis.

The other Rangers are SHOCKED as a lamp light post gets it's light bulb shot off. Zipper then flies into the tuxedo shop and of course there is screaming and bailing like a company going into bankruptcy. The general of the police force joins in for fun (with transmitter still in hand mind you) as he stops the gun shooting (must have seen BS&P beforehand) and proclaims that it time to send in the SWAT Team. Yeah; that was a little bit contrived on the acting sir. It's way too obvious as a joke as we cut to the street as the SWAT Team Truck sways around. What is Wang Film's desire to do motor vehicles THAT way? The truck arrives to block the police officer's sight for me just to be overbearing and out comes a SWAT Officer dressed in all black with shades and looks like an ex-con. He has the red megaphone which probably means that he is a Mouth of the South fanboy and the police officer steals it. Oh; you don't mess with a SWAT Team's megaphone and get away with it dude! The Chief of Police yells out commands to Zipper as the SWAT Team surrounds the front of the store building with their rifles drawn as we cut to inside with Zipper hiding behind a shelf of clothes in mortal fear as the segment ends 12 minutes in. You know; this is a really fine episode; but the slight contrived nature is ruining it quite a bit...

After the commercial break; we repeat the final shot from before the break (DUH!) as Zipper hides in the hat section now as the chief gives him 15 seconds to give him an idea or else give up. Monty grabs on the edge of the trash can outside and it topples with the Rangers in tow to a wussy bump (sigh) as the SWAT Team readies the rifles on trigger finger mode as the Rangers try to enter the shop; but they get rejected when the SWAT Team enters. That was a pretty lame SWAT if you ask me. AHHAHAHAHAHA! The leader of the group (the black one with shades on) creeps to every hallway and passes the floating guy with the trench coat and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and then whispers to the floating guy asking about an alien creature. Never mind that the humans have all left the building and the guy he is asking is FLOATING! My head hurts when I see Tad Stones make the police REALLY STUPID.

Zipper floats out without incident as the Rangers enter in and Gadget is in HORROR as we cut to a dressing room curtain area where the SWAT Team and the chief have their space creature cornered. After all; it's the last place they didn't check yet see. The curtain opens and a woman screams as the men blush like a bunch of pervert. Yeah; it's not what we think Mark Edens; sure keep believing that. The chief of police replaces the curtains and we get the scene changer as the chief is on the megaphone ordering everyone to clear out as they sell. We then see Chip and company exchange notes on the situation on ground level. Since Zipper is too big to be noticed and he doesn't fit in the house; Zipper will just have to disappear as Zipper hears this. Now we have a floating familiar clearly seen by humans and there is no selling of that fact?! I don't get that logic break as Zipper floats away sulking in the alleyway. Well; Chip is being such a meanie as Gadget does make an excellent point about the probable problem of Zipper not being able to shrink again.

So we return to Rescue Ranger Headquarters as the door and wall Zipper broke has magically repaired itself good as new. How about that?! At least in TaleSpin; they had the scenes of broken walls done in places inside Rebecca Cunningham's apartment that aren't so obvious. The rodents enter and of course Zipper is no where to be found because they basically kicked him off the team without actually saying that they did. Naturally; Chip ignores him because he has better things to do like turn on the television set to watch Stan Blather...ummm..blather. I'm beginning to lose respect for Chipper here; even more so than when he blew off Tammy like a jerk. We see pictures of armored cars and bricks of gold taken out by the police as Stan blathers about nothing of note as we get a shot of the alien spaceship from the top of the building. Looks like a Back To The Future reject there as Stan proclaims that they want thousands of travel brochures when only serves to make the police look REALLY STUPID even more so now. And so we cut to inside the broken down yellow car that floats like a space ship as the pill bugs are eating paperback books while Norton reads the newspaper with his feet on the wheel like a dork wondering what the price of gold is in Brazil. Answer: Why ask me? I don't answer to whiny dorks like you Norton. ZAP! OUCH! Okay...$10.90 an ounce. Happy now?

The pill bug comes from behind and eats Norton's travel book; so Norton counters with the bug killing weapon of doom (you know which one?). See; he hates eating over his own shoulder. I agree for once as we go to the outside far shot of the fake spaceship flying over the city AFTER HAPPY HOUR (READ: After Dark) as the Ranger Plane arrives from the east and lands on the rubber bottom in the back. Chip jumps down and bounces on the rubber as he proclaims that this is made of rubber and do they know what it means. Like I care anyway as Dale jumps on the rubber and then bounces right off Chip's head as Chip takes a really sick MAN-SIZED bump in the process. HOLY CRAP?! I'm SHOCKED Molly didn't steal that one to use on Kit. Seriously; I am. Dale calls this dishwasher safe and I betcha Chip calls him stupid and bonks him on the head. I check the DVD..Damn; I'm good. Chip proclaims that the spaceship is a fake. NO?! REALLY?! So Monty wants inside and he kicks the emergency door open which spells instant danger for the babyfaces as the alarm beckons and the Rangers are seriously (insert swear word here). Leave it up to the Aussie Stereotype to blow their cover five seconds into the sting operation.

The Rangers try to bail; but a pill bug invokes the butterfly net and the rodents are captured easily. The pill bug licks his chops on the tasty flesh to eat; but Norton nails him with the newspaper from behind to counter that because he would have grow-bicized a cat. I just knew Norton would INVENT a word like that. It's not like we don't see that out of dorks nowadays (See powned, noob etc.). He then puts the goofy red helmet on the pill bug and grabs the net to order him to grab his gold like a good villain henchmen would. The pill bug leaves as Norton blows him off because he might eat on the way. Chip invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on Norton as Norton blows the rodents off and stuff them into the glove compartment and shuts it. We then proceed with a long, boring sequence of the pill bugs being lowered down with the pulley flat and then pulled back up after all the gold is loaded during the scene changer. The gold sparkles on cue which indicates that Wang Films stole their spots from Sun Woo as the pulley rises up into the night while Stan Blather blathers about nothing of note.

He does allow the red light speaker to speak though which is better than Stan anyway as Norton thanks the people for giving them all their gold and screwing them out of their smarts. Okay; I made up the smarts part. Norton laughs badly on the destroyed planet part as we cut to inside the glove compartment as the Rangers recover inside the messy area and wonder how to get out of there. Dale's method is to climb out of the keyhole; but sadly, only his head fits and he's stuck, DUH! Another scene which uses the “Mature” lighting Mr. Hardcore wants which is the fifth episode now for DTVA. I suspect Mr. Hardcore either hates kids or hates families in general. I don't know which; but PICK ONE guys! Dale pops his head and he is doing more auditions for Darkwing Duck. Personally; they should have replaced Launchpad with Dale. I mean it worked for TaleSpin and Baloo as Gadget proclaims that Zipper could get out...if he was the old Zipper of course. And then Monty goes over to the keyhole and unlocks it with his tail and thus renders the whole suspense as shot.

Interesting Moment #1: There are apparently three versions of that spot animated according to the Everything Rescue Rangers website and the first one involved Gadget unlocking the keyhole and then having this kind of reaction on her face that spelled “pervert sex kitten” which Disney got spooked and so they changed it to Monty unlocking the keyhole with his tail, but Gadget was too close to the keyhole and had the same reaction; so it was reanimated a third time so Gadget was no where near the keyhole. Man; I would love to know how TaleSpin was animated when it first ran in 1990 and not JUST P&L which I already know. I do know that a number of first run episodes were shown in Canada that had different animation; but all were glaring animation mistakes that had to be fixed in order to make the show less ugly. This looks like a content re-animating to me.

So we continue on as Norton proclaims on the transmitter that he'll be back to steal more gold in order to refuel his spaceship as he nearly blows his cover. The Rangers manage to open the door and hop on to chatter on and yell out that it's a trick as Norton blows them off as chattering fools. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Norton bashes them with the newspaper; but the Rangers hang on to it and hide inside as Norton tries to find them; but no dice. So he throws the paper away and the Ranger yelp in pain to blow their cover. HAHA! I'm starting to like this whiny dork now. So we head to the Cookie Factory of Doom as we head inside with two police guards with flashlights as the mature lighting is in effect again. How can Mr. Hardcore sleep at night knowing that they lie about this stuff? The goofs wonder what happened to the truckload of cookies that the factory baked that day as we pan over to the far shot on the left to see Zipper (who is now about half the size of Giant Webby~!) sitting near the boxes of cookies on a forklift burping like a maniac as we hear Stan Blather blather on again.

The officers walk into the office without even noticing the burping (what a shock?) as the television set glows better than their flashlights. Nothing of note is said other than the chipmunk chattering and Zipper noticing them so he breaks through the ceiling on the far shot of the cookie factory and flies off. We cut back to the far shot of the spaceship as the pill bugs continue to load gold into the spaceship trunk of the yellow school bus as we cut inside as Norton whines about where the rodents went to as the newspaper is on a load of books. The newspaper roll grows a Dale's head and Monty's legs and tries to escape stage right; but the giant pill bug inside blocks the way. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. The pill bug eats the top; but Dale ducks in time to avoid getting beheaded so the gang runs stage left; but another giant pill bug blocks the way and Chip pops up demanding answers and Dale gives them as they panic to end the segment 17 minutes in...

After the commercial break; we cut to the front shot of the bus as Norton pulls a lever (WRONG LEVER!) and changes the bus sign from Earth in black letters to Rio De Jechrino. I guess that the city from the planet Brazil right Norton?! Norton turns the steel key in the ignition and the spaceship rockets away as the pill bugs take turns reading the newspaper. I guess this is Mark Eden's way of getting back at critics for his crappy writing. Monty complains about the foot in his eye (as if I care) as the other Rangers panic; but Norton invokes his manhood on the pill bugs shrinking them to normal size instantly and proclaiming that he doesn't need them anymore. I smell face turn coming as Gadget and Chip realize the obvious and that is how Zipper got big so to speak. Norton is about to shrink red helmet pill bug down to size; but then there are crashing sounds outside. Norton looks outside and sees a 50 foot fly which proves that it's half of the size of Webby in Ducktales' version of this storyline. Zipper shakes the top of the bus which Wang Films animates badly as Norton takes the front seat again and pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) to rocket the bus forward causing the rodents to take some bumps on the way.

It's not enough to shake Zipper though as he look through the front window causing the whiny dork to shudder in fear. Norton drives around nearly destroying a flag pole in the process and doing no damage whatsoever (sigh) as the emergency door opens by itself and the Rangers fly right out of the door. Gadget yells at them to help her fold the paper and they sell folding it up into a paper airplane. Damn; I knew that spot would be involved somehow. The airplane flies down as Dale wants the funny pages to amuse himself as we return to the thrilling battle between the 50 ft. fly and the one inch manhood whiny dork and his short bus. Yeah; I stooped to that offense; so shoot me. Norton parachutes out as Zipper gets tied up by the rubber raft (!!!) and they drop down as we cut down to ground level with a SHOCKED public while Stan Blather....ummm...blathers about...say it with me...nothing of note. For goodness sakes; enough with Stan Blather guys. The crowd bails away screaming as Stan at least gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLARITY faster than he did in Out to Launch and bails away screaming complete with Hanna Barbera looping and running sound effect. If only it was Sun Woo animating this as the gold bricks rain down onto the ground; the pill bug bounces with some good bumps and the fake spaceship bus bounces onto the ground with MAN-SIZED bumps (DUH!) and Zipper falls down and takes the MAN SIZED BUMP WITH CHEESE AND BACON through the street. I just knew the Scooby Doo Angel Spot would rear it's ugly head at this point....

...and so we return to the air as the parachute descends with whiny dork coming down. He declares victory because he thinks of everything....except when it comes to falling into the arms of Zipper who has climbed out of his angel spot. I see some fly rape commencing for Mr. Dork...albeit off-screen of course. Sirens wail as the police car and tank roll in (only one? THAT'S ONE WHACK CITY THERE DUDE!) The tank fires again and does more damage than anything else combined in this episode as Zipper bails stage left. That shot wasn't even close guys. He then bumps into the building with a sick MAN-SIZED bump and lands on his ass. HEE HEE! Zipper clears the cobwebs and then climbs up the building so we can get the King Kong spot out of the way. It's just not funny without a big ironic twist to it like in Louie's Last Stand. Police get their guns ready as they surround the building and the Rangers fly the paper airplane over to Norton's manhood ray of doom in the pile of the gold bricks. Chip of course burns his nose on cue since it's now red for yet another Wang Films mistake. Zipper climbs up some more as the Rangers run stage left with the manhood as the giant pill bug hides underneath a blue car because we just need a bug involved in the finish somehow. The Rangers run into the building as Zipper climbs to the top complete with spotlight. Now all we need is the helicopter swatting spot to commence and all the bases are covered.

We cut back to the Rangers going into the elevator and the elevator closes as Gadget points out the complex task at hand that would be easier if the old Zipper were here. The moral of the story is don't underestimate the little guy; but it turns into a fest of trying to make Zipper look bigger than he can be and it somehow doesn't work as well as it should. Then again; Mark Edens is writing so that explains it. Zipper is to the top of the building with Norton in his grasp. And the helicopter gets involved of course as we cut back to the elevator and see Monty push a plant pot against the wall where the panel of buttons are. Dale climbs up and pushes the top right yellow button on the panel and the elevator goes up while Dale does a decent bump on the floor. Cute spot; but it only serves to prove that they DON'T NEED Zipper at all. See; they should have done the human ladder spot here because then the suffering as a result would prove that Zipper is needed to pull off this teams domination. The Rangers get off the elevator onto the top of the roof as they blitz in while the helicopters do nothing other than annoy me. Finally; the helicopter shoots a rocket and it destroys the top of the building allowing the Rangers to act like shill cartoon voices. Zipper and Norton free fall as Monty fires the manhood (oh boy this is going to be ugly) and Zipper shrinks in a light of neon XBOX 360 green. Zipper flies up as Norton invokes the MANHOOD AIR PUMPER OF DEATH and inflates the raft. Okay; that was a lot more disturbing than I had intended as the inner tube hits the ground first allowing Norton to bounce off of it hard and into the sewers safe and sound.

We cut to the far shot of the destroyed building and a pan shot to the right as Stan Blather blathers about nothing of note because he's only there for screen time. The rest of the world is glad this is over and wish that Stan would just stop blathering. At least I wish they did as we cut back to Norton popping out of the sewers and he practices the fine art of not being seen and gets into the blue car and turns it on proclaiming that his plans aren't foiled; but they aren't getting him. Sadly; the pill bug is in the back seat with the newspaper as Norton calls them a bunch of stupid pill bugs and Norton is seriously (insert swear word here) as we cut to outside as Norton gets bug raped off-screen as the blue car slowly drives away stage left. HAHA! Now that's a proper way to do a bug finish. Good job by Mark Edens for a change as we cut to the top of the roof as Monty and Zipper have their bonding moment. The Rangers proclaim that they need Zipper as Zipper blushes in awe as Monty then changes his mind because they need to fly down from the building. Leave it to Monty to not learn ANYTHING from the episode as we cut to a zoom out shot of the building to end the episode at 21:10. Very solid episode with a pretty funny end on the poor whiny dork; but the Rangers just made Zipper look useless out there despite everything Zipper tried. Wang Films and Mark Edens didn't help matters either. Still a lot better than Out to Launch though; so call it *** ½ (70%).


Well; we got our second Zipper focused episode and Zipper had a really good performance out of it despite the episode being completely marred by sloppy writing and Mark Edens making the Rangers demonstrate that Zipper was really useless as a whole. I mean the whole point of the episode was to prove that Zipper was an important part of the team and that they are useless without Zipper. Sadly; in two of the spots that Zipper was mentioned; the Rangers easily thwarted without any problems whatsoever. One was with Monty unlocking the glove compartment and the second was Dale pressing the elevator buttons using the plants. All this showed that the Rangers were more resourceful; but that wasn't the point of the episode and it made Zipper look like Meg from Family Guy. Zipper seemed more useful when he was expanded in size; and it was a problem when he got way too big for his bridges. Plus the mean spirited nature of the plucky fly was out of character even by the Ranger standards and seem to be forced in order to build sympathy heat for Zipper; but was negated when Mark wouldn't let the Rangers actually suffer due to the lack of Zipper. And Wang Films did their usual bad animation and coloring mistakes to drag it down further. Get use to it; other than one episode; Wang Films does all the animation with the lone episode being done by A-1. ZOINKS! Still; the overall story is solid with some really funny spots and of course Norton getting his ass raped by a pill bug off-screen at the end is always amusing. Sadly; Stan Blather is not and I wish he dies a slow, painful death from here on as he is the Seinfeld of Rescue Rangers in terms of being a nothing character. In the end; this is a middling episode and we go to our next episode which is Last Train To Cashville which is the last episode before the ultra awesome Gadget focus episode: The Case of the Cola Cult which is the rant EVERYONE wants to see. So......

Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.


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