The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink

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The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink Transcript

Written: 05/17/2015
Updated: 09/16/2021

Act I

Scene I

(Episode starts with a shot of a barren area filled with rocks near the shoreline. Several shadowed bird like creature fly in the background. A blue lizard is in the foreground as we pan left to the shore where the SeaDuck is on top of the water. Baloo and Rebecca are running away as Rebecca has a large amount of white feathers with her. Baloo has an arrow in his pilot's hat.)

Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: (panting) Run! Run! (The feathers go flying as a cloud of dust chases them containing yodeling goat furries in red nomad gear welding wooden bows riding on Gorilla Birds.)

Rebecca Cunningham: I'm running! I'm running! (Disney Captions claims Kit Cloudkicker spoke this line; but he wasn't even in this scene.)

Baloo: (The chase continues as more arrows are fired. Baloo jumps into the water and wades towards the navigational side door. He opens it and throws Rebecca Cunningham inside.) In! In! (Baloo climbs into the SeaDuck.)

Rebecca: I'm inning! I'm inning! (Rebecca manages to grab one of the large white feathers that slipped by before Baloo forces her back in and slams the door. A half dozen arrow hit the side of the door. Cut to the cockpit.) Fly! Fly! (Baloo tries to start the engines.)

Baloo: I'm tryin', I'm tryin'! Come on, baby! (The nomad goats are right behind the SeaDuck; but the engines start to roar and the SeaDuck takes off. One of the Nomads' has a lasso and uses it and loops it on the right platoon of the SeaDuck and manages to pull it half off of the wing. The Nomad gets pulled off his Gorilla Bird and is towed by the SeaDuck.)

Nomad Solider #1: AIIIIIEEEEEE! (The Nomad is forced to let go and free fall.) YABOOOOOOO!! (The Nomad falls into the water as the platoon deattches from the wing even more. Cut to the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)

Rebecca: Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen. Ack! If only we'd gotten a few thousand, I'd have made a fortune selling them.

Baloo: A few thousand?! We almost got our tails tattooed for this much, Rebecca! (Baloo pulls an arrow out of his hat.) You and your moneymakin' ideas!

Rebecca: I'm an entrepreneur with good moneymaking sense.

Baloo: (Pulls another arrow out of the SeaDuck's control panel.) More like nonsense! Your schemes never work! I tried to tell you before about the nomads, but no; you knew better!

Rebecca: I know business, Baloo. Supply and demand, cause and effect. I'm tenacious and clear-headed.

Baloo: No! you're stubborn and pigheaded and won't admit when you're wrong.

Rebecca: Ha! I would too! I'm just never wrong. You watch. My next idea will make millions, I guarantee it.

Baloo: Next idea? Take a look-see at our pontoonsie. (Cut to another shot of the platoon which is broken; but up slightly again.) We'll be lucky to get back in one piece from this idea!

Scene II

(Cut to a shot of Khan Tower and a large airship flying in the scene. Some planes fly around as we pan over to a sky shot of the docks of Higher For Hire. Cut to a shot of WildCat Puma grabbing some tools from the toolbox. He finds an eggbeater and uses them to remove the arrows.He pulls out one arrow and flops backwards into the water.)

WildCat Puma: Yup. Definitely an arrow. (Kit and Baloo are watching him.)

Baloo: And?

WildCat: And you got a whole bunch of them.

Baloo: I know that! What about the pontoon?! (Wildcat taps on the pontoon and it cracks a bit more.)

WildCat: Gonna need a new one of those.

Baloo: We gotta get us a pontoon or we're grounded! And there's the lady to get us one! (Pan over to Rebecca heading towards the Higher For Hire office. Rebecca enters the office and Baloo follows her inside.) Yo, Rebecca?! I got a pontoon to pick with you! (Kit enters the office after Baloo.)

Rebecca: Baloo! Just the person I wanted to see. (Goes over to her desk and puts a paperbag down on the desk.)

Baloo: Now, about that new pontoon...

Rebecca: Here, buster! Feast your eyes on what I just bought. (Brings out a large mushroom to show Baloo.) My next great idea! (Baloo grabs it and sniffs it.)

Baloo: What are they? Used golf balls? (Baloo flicks the mushroom.)

Rebecca: They're truffles. Mushroom delicacies. People eat them. (Rebecca turns her back and Baloo eats the truffle.)

Baloo: Hmmm. Not bad. (He swallows the truffle as Rebecca looks at a map.) Could use a little salt, though. (Rebecca jumps on Baloo and tackles him to the ground.)

Rebecca: BALOO! That cost FIFTY DOLLARS! (Pulls on Baloo's shirt.)

Baloo: (Coughs.) Fifty bucks for a little wrinkly thingy like that?

Kit Cloudkicker: Boy, Baloo; that's putting her money where your mouth is. (More crashing sounds ensue as Kit is in shock as Rebecca is still trying to get the eaten truffle out of Baloo's mouth basically rearranging his mouth and nose.)

Rebecca: Truffles grow in the jungle! I'm going to find'em, bring'em back and sell them for fifty dollars a pop! We'll make a fortune!

Baloo: (Grabs Rebecca's wrist to stop her.) You're crazy! We need a pontoon first! (Rebecca is pushed off and she lands on her rear end.) So fork over the moola! (Rebecca gets up.)

Rebecca: I'm sorry Baloo; but we are buying a pig instead! (Baloo cringes on that.)

Baloo/Kit: A pig?!

Scene III

(Cut to a shot of a major farming store called Hayseeds-R-Us as there is mooing and clucking sounds ensuing. We pan down a bit to show Baloo and Rebecca entering the farm like store.)

Rebecca: One needs a specially trained pig to sniff out truffles. One of those cute little squealy ones. (Rebecca and Baloo see a bunch of small little pigs enjoying themselves.)

Baloo: We need a pontoon! Besides, you don't seem like the type that hangs around with pigs. (Rebecca looks at him angry and Baloo has to catch himself as she ducks down.) Watch who you're insultin', Becky!

Rebecca: Aren't they adorable? Each one a truffle-finding juggernaut. (Rebecca pets a pig as Baloo is flustered.)

Baloo: But there are more important things we should be buying! (Pan over to a hippo salesman wearing a mustache over his upper lip and wearing a blue shirt with blue overalls and a poka dot orange tie.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Did I hear someone say, "buying"? (Rushes in looking sleazy as he leans on Baloo.)

Rebecca: (Has her purse out.) Yes. We are interested in hunting truffles.

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Weeellll! These miniature babirusas can smell out a truffle from over one mile away (Disney Captions has it as "Babaroosas". 1.61 kilometers.)

Baloo: (The salesman opens the gate and walks in.) Imagine that! (Rebecca elbows Baloo in the midsection.) Ooof!

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: (Opening up a curtain to a small stage showing the little pigs walking in a circle.) They are pedigreed and papered from only the finest bloodlines.

Rebecca: And how much for one?

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: A resonable three thousand dollars!

Rebecca: Oh, dear.

Baloo: Three thousand smackers?! For an underfed piece of bacon?! (The salesman runs in and tries to shut Baloo up.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Oh, no! You said the "B" word!

Baloo: (Pigs oinking.) What? Bacon?

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: No! No! (The salesman and all the other animals bail. Cut to a shot of a doghouse with boards and locks on it; with a sign that reads "Stay Back". Several haybails and buckets are tosses aside when the doghouse bounces stage left. The doghouse smashes asunder and out comes Hogzilla in an angry drooling rage.)

Rebecca: Aaagh! (Hogzilla rushes Baloo and Rebecca and they go flying in opposite directions. Hogzilla causes destruction to a wooden gate and turns into a Tazamanian Devil destroying everything not nailed down. A dog furry farmer in overalls runs away as the Hayseeds "R" Us is hiding behind hay bales not destroyed by Hogzilla.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: ♪ Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top! When the wind blows the cradle will rock! When the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all! ♪ (Hogzilla throws object at the salesman during the tornado sequence and then stops on top of a box as he is smoothed by the music and finally dozes off to sleep. Hogzilla drops onto the ground causing him to squash Baloo's head and back; while Rebecca is in a large wooden box of manure. Rebecca gets out and apparently; she didn't touch the manure as the salesman comes over to her.) You know, for much less money; you can have this fine animal. (Rebecca is shocked to find Baloo in such a compromising position.)

Baloo: Get this smelly monster off me!

Rebecca: Really; I don't think he's really the right kind. (Disney Captions missed this.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: (At the same time.) You know what they say: the bigger the pig, the bigger the truffle! Only five hundred dollars! (Baloo unpops his head as the salesman got Hogzilla off Baloo's head and back.)

Baloo: Look, the truffle idea was bad enough. Don't go buyin' Hogzilla here! (Baloo gets his hat back from underneath Hogzilla.)

Rebecca: Don't bad mouth my truffle idea. It's perfectly wonderful! (Disney Captions missed the perfectly part which is part of the next line Baloo says.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Four hundred dollars!

Baloo: Perfectly pigheaded! (The salesman has a rope that should be attached to Hogzilla; but it isn't in this scene.) Why don't you just admit it?!

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Three hundred?

Rebecca: I'll show you! (Goes into her purse and finds some bills and gives them to the salesman.) I have two hundred fifty dollars and twenty three cents! (Sadly, no coins are shown.)

Hayseeds "R" Us Salesman: Sold! (He grabs the money, gives the rope to Rebecca and leaves.)

Baloo: But we need a new pontoon!

Rebecca: After I find all the truffles; I'll buy you a hundred pontoons! Now; isn't that a good idea?

Baloo: (Goes over to Hogzilla and whispers in his ear.) Psst...bacon. (Hogzilla yells and runs away from the hard camera causing Rebecca to be towed behind him since she has the rope in her hand.)

Rebecca: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Hogzilla knocks down some boxes and fruit for fun as Baloo watches on feeling so proud of himself.)

Baloo: Great idea, Rebecca. Great idea!

Scene IV

(Cut back to a shot of Higher For Hire and the docks. Hogzilla is oinking.)

Rebecca: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Cut to Wildcat fixing the pontoon with a hammer as Kit turns around and hears the sound.)

Kit: Gee, that sorta sounds like Miss Cunningham.

WildCat: Yeah. Does she have a cold? (Hogzilla enters the docking area with Rebecca in tow.)

Rebecca: Stop this pig! Stop this pig! Stop this...Aaagh! (Hogzilla stops at the edge of the dock and the rope forces Rebecca to let go over the dock and she falls into the water below. Baloo runs in and watches Rebecca pop up from the water and ruin her hair in the process.)

Baloo: Well now; that was dandy! Need any help there, Becky?

Rebecca: (Coughs) No... (Treading water.) ...thank you. (Cut to Hogzilla sniffing out Wildcat's metal orange lunch box and nudges it open to reveal a Shaggy-equse sandwich only with a whole fish in it. Hogzilla eats it.)

WildCat: Hey Baloo? Did you get the new pontoon?

Baloo: Does that answer your question?

WildCat: Wow! A pig! (Hogzilla sniffs the ground for a bit.) Is that what they make pontoons out of these days? (Hogzilla munches for a bit and then eats the wrench Wildcat was holding when WildCat pets him.)

Kit: (Dragging Rebecca out of the water onto the pier.) You ought to be more careful, Miss Cunningham. What if that pig hadn't stopped?

Rebecca: (Squeezing the water out of her purple sweater.) That is not just a pig, Kit. That is a means to a fortune.

Baloo: (Leaning on Hogzilla while Wildcat tries to get his wrench from Hogzilla's mouth.) Ha ha ha! Come off of it, Becky! You don't even know if this monster likes truffles. Though it seems to like everything else. (Rebecca gets into Baloo's face and some water splashes on him for good measure.)

Rebecca: I'll prove this animal was a good investment even if it kills me! (Rebecca kicks Hogzilla in the rear end to force the point.)

Scene V

(Cut to inside the Higher For Hire office to in front of the desk where Hogzilla is eating from a garbage can and then eats the garbage can like a vacuum cleaner. Rebecca shows off a paperbag filled with truffles as Baloo is sitting on the desk.)

Rebecca: There, Mr. Pig. Take a good sniff. (Hogzilla turns around as Rebecca takes out a truffle to show him and Hogzilla oinks. Hogzilla is wanting to pounce on Rebecca.) Down, pig, down! (Rebecca raises the truffle above the height that Hogzilla cannot reach as Hogzilla gets on his hind legs like a dog wanting a doggy treat.) All right, Kit; the blindfold. (Kit wraps the blindfold across Hogzilla's eyes to control him somewhat.)

Kit: Are you sure this is a good idea?

Rebecca: I don't want any doubting Thomases.

Baloo: Me? Doubt? Never!

Rebecca: (Hogzilla is down on all fours again as Rebecca plays the shell game with him.) Okay, boy. Which hand has the truffle? (She shows her left hand has the truffle and Hogzilla snaps at it.) See?! See?! (Hogzilla then pounces on Rebecca near the stairs with her hand inside Hogzilla's mouth.) Aaagh! Get it off! Get it off! It's making an hors d'oeuvre out of my elbow! (Even though Hogzilla only touched her hand. She must mean wrist. Kit runs in with a broom and whacks Hogzilla in the rear end with it. Hogzilla turns around and unhands Rebecca; and eats the broom, slurping it which causes Kit to be pulled into Hogzilla. Kit lets go as Hogzilla eats the broom.)

Baloo: Man, oh man! It's all stomach!

Kit: It's an eating machine! (Hogzilla starts eating the floor rug on the wooden floor of the office.)

Rebecca: Baloo, just load the pig in the plane and prepare for takeoff!

Baloo: Whoa, now Becky! I'm not puttin' that creature into my beautiful SeaDuck! (Rebecca opened the door to outside the office.)

Rebecca: And just why not?

Baloo: Because it's messy, loud, obnoxious, ugly and...(Baloo sniffs the air and it stinks.) smelly. (Kit is handling the pig and the pig seemly wants to eat Kit, so Kit has to slap it in the face to force it not to.)

Rebecca: Well, so are you. Besides, it's my plane! (Rebecca walks off.)

Baloo: Who is she callin' messy?

Rebecca: (Cut to outside the office.) And I'd like to take off sometime this year, Baloo! (Baloo and Kit walk out of the office.)

Baloo: (Mimics.) "Sometime this year, Baloo!" I'm comin'! Just hold your bacon! (Oinking sounds ensue as Baloo and Kit stop.)

Rebecca: (Runs back into the office panicking.) My office! My office! Aaagh! (Trashing sounds ensue.)

Kit: Think we ought to help?

Baloo: Oh, why not? (Baloo and Kit walk to the office and look inside as various objects are thrown out of the office.) Well, look at that?! (Baloo and Kit enter the office as a tomato and a chair crash into the walls.) I could watch this all day. (Papers fly as Rebecca is riding Hogzilla on it's back as Hogzilla runs around the office.)

Rebecca: Do something, Baloo! (Hogzilla proceeds to destroy the entire office and knock down dozens of objects in it's wake. Baloo yawns and then embraces Kit who looks surprised.)

Baloo: You know, Kit? I feel a song comin' on. (Kit is lifted off his feet and then set on his feet on the opposite side as Baloo walks forward.)

Kit: This is no time to fool around, Baloo! She's in trouble.

Baloo: ♪ Rock-a-bye hoggie on the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come piggie, cradle and all. ♪ (Hogzilla trashes the place as Rebecca is behind her desk now. Hogzilla is soothed by the music and drops on the ground asleep when Baloo pokes him.)

Kit: Wow! Maybe that'll work on my English teacher.

Rebecca: (Walks towards Baloo.) One of these days, Baloo...One of these days...

Baloo: Aw, Becky! You're just jealous 'cause I have a way with animals.

Scene VI

(Cut to outside the SeaDuck as it's flying in the sky, broken pontoon and all with the arrows sill in it. Hogzilla is oinking and general wrecking havoc inside the cockpit as it's trying to eat the controls of the SeaDuck. Cut to an inside shot of the cockpit.)

Baloo: Get that animal off! It's eatin' the controls again! (Hogzilla is eating some wires as Kit runs in with a life preserver.)

Kit: Come on, pig! (Kit waves the life preserver at him and backs up.) How about a nice life preserver? (Hogzilla runs over and chomps on the life perserver, popping it. Rebecca is in her safari outfit as in the beginning of the episode.)

Rebecca: (Amused.) What's wrong, Baloo? Lost your way with animals? (Baloo is holding frayed wires that Hogzilla ate.)

Baloo: Ooooo, that's it! (Cut to Hogzilla licking it's chops and trapping Kit in the corner of the cockpit.) I've put up with your stupid, truffle-sniffling idea long enough! (Hogzilla then starts eating a section containing more wires for fun and that causes electrical sparks to fly.) No way am I gonna let my plane be digested by a four legged garbage disposal. (Kit struggles in a side headlock to get Hogzilla away from the wires.) Now, either that hog goes or I go!

Rebecca: Fine. You go! (Rebecca is pushed forward towards the controls as we cut to the right wing as the pontoon is now snapping off and hanging by a thread. It snaps off and freefalls; causing the SeaDuck to push up out of control. Everyone screams.)

Baloo: Mayday! Mayday! (The Seaduck does some barrel rolls as Baloo is speaking on the transmitter.) Pontoonless plane with pig goin' down! (The Seaduck flies into the clouds.)

End of Act I At 10:30

Act II

Scene I

(The Seaduck does more barrel rolls as it is coming down over the ocean.)

Baloo: Come on, number two engine! Kit!

Rebecca: Aaagh! (Hogzilla oinks as it, Kit and Rebecca bounces around in the back of the cockpit. Baloo rights up the SeaDuck and they drop onto the floor. Kit manages to run to his navigational chair.)

Kit: I don't know if we're gonna make it Baloo! (Kit is pushing button.)

Baloo: We'd better. I wanna live long enough to get that pig! (Hogzilla gets to the controls with a panic look on his face; so Baloo smacks him in the face to get him away from the controls.) Get back! (The SeaDuck tailspins towards the docks as the number two propeller on the left wing dies out. However; Baloo pulls up just enough to allow the SeaDuck to land at the docks on the Island of Zibaldo. Cut to inside the cockpit with Kit panting and feeling tired) Well, well! A perfect three hundred sixty point landing!

Kit: (Panting.) Now I know what a sock feels like in a washing machine.(Cut to Rebecca on her chin against the cockpit floor, splatted next to the back door.)

Rebecca: No, I think this was worse. (Hogzilla cuddles up with Baloo.)

Baloo: It's gettin' kinda stuffy in here. (Cut to outside the dock as Baloo opens the navigational door and walks out.) Look at my plane! (Cut to a shot of the broken right wing.) I hope you're happy. You're the one who wanted a pig instead of a pontoon. (Kit and Rebecca are pulling Hogzilla out of the side door of the SeaDuck; struggling.)

Rebecca: We ran into a little bad luck. We'll fix the plane up with the money we make. Now come along, it's truffle-hunting time! (Rebecca walks Hogzilla towards a sign.)

Baloo: She's got truffles on the brain, kid. (Rebecca gasps in horror as she just read the sign. Baloo and Kit run over.) What is it? (Rebecca points to the sign that says "Absolutely no pigs! Past this point.")

Kit: Absolutely no pigs past this point. (Disney Captions claims Rebecca is reading this; but the voice is clearly Alan Roberts so Kit is saying it. Hogzilla gnaws on the wooden sign post for fun.)

Baloo: Great! (Grunts.) Too bad, Becky; but I guess we just have to fix the Duck and get outta here. No pigs means no pigs. (Baloo's got the rope and is pulling Hogzilla towards him; which Hogzilla is not happy with.) Maybe we can swap it for a pontoon. (Hogzilla pulls Baloo and Baloo lands flat on his face.)

Rebecca: Maybe you're right. (She ponders about it; but then gets angry.) No! We've come too far! Ah! I have an idea! (Rebecca grabs the rope and she and Hogzilla walk into town stage right.)

Baloo: I hate it when she gets that look in her eyes.

Scene II

(Cut to a shot of a jungle with a wooden tree with a red sign that points to the right and it reads "Zibaldo". Pan over to some bushes as Kit pops up from them. Cut to a shot of a toll booth with a henya furry in brown security guard gear playing with a yo-yo. Enter Baloo, Kit and Rebecca with a baby carriage containing Hogzilla in it as a baby.)

Zibaldo Security Guard: Step up, step up. Welcome to Zibaldo, my friends! And where are we going?

Rebecca: My family and I... (Zibaldo is writing on a clipboard of paper. Baloo coughs.)... just came for a picnic.

Zibaldo Security Guard: Oh, a baby! I love babies. (The guard digs in and tries to tickle Hogzilla.) Cooche-cooche-coo! (Hogzilla growls and bites his finger causing the guard to spit brown seeds out of his sides.) OUCH! (Guard pulls up his finger and it's red, pulsing and has a black bruise on the bottom of the finger. Guard slurps his finger to relieve the pain and make the injury disappear; and opens the blanket to reveal Hogzilla in a diaper with a pink bonnet and a blue sucker in it's mouth which Hogzilla promptly eats.and burps.) Wait a minute?! That looks like a pig to me.

Rebecca: Takes after her mom, doesn't she?

Zibaldo Security Guard: We don't allow pigs in this jungle.(Hogzilla eats the clipboard and one of the guard's sleeves on that response. Hogzilla oinks.)

Rebecca: You're insulting my child!

Zibaldo Security Guard: Sounds likes a pig to me. (Rebecca lays her body on the stomach of Hogzilla.)

Rebecca: Nope. That was just a burp. (Guard groans and holds his nose.)

Zibaldo Security Guard: It smells like a pig, too!

Kit: Well; if it looks like a pig, sounds like a pig and smells like a pig, it can't be a pig right?

Zibaldo Security Guard: Why not?

Kit: 'Cause pigs aren't allowed in this jungle.

Zibaldo Security Guard: (Tips his cap off to Kit on that one.) That's true. Okay, you may go. (Hogzilla eats the guard's hat as Baloo, Kit and Rebecca walk Hogzilla and the baby carriage into the jungle.) Have a good time, folks! (Hogzilla burps once again as the guard realizes that he lost his hat.) Wait a minute? Where's my hat? That was a pig! Stop! Stop! (The guard runs towards Kit, Hogzilla, Rebecca and Baloo.)

Rebecca: Run! Run! (Kit, Baloo, Hogzilla and Rebecca run as Baloo pushes up the barrier to the toll booth on the way.)

Zibaldo Security Guard: (Gets to the barrier.) Wait?! It's for your own good! There are pygmies! Ah, forget it. (The guard leans on the barrier as he takes his yo-yo out and plays with it.)

Scene III

(Cut to a pan shot of the jungle with a exotic bird flying around and more oinking noises from Hogzilla. Baloo is watching from a tree and Kit is sitting on a rock as Rebecca and Hogzilla are on the ground sniffing the ground like a bunch of pigs.)

Rebecca: See?

Baloo: That, Kit; is the stubbornest person I ever saw.

Rebecca: Okay, now sniff out the truffles, Mr. Pig! (Rebecca and Hogzilla get on the ground and sniff the ground.) See? Just like that. (More sniffing as Hogzilla gets up and looks to the right.) Ha! He's on the scent! Soon; I'll be rolling in truffles. (Hogzilla runs away and Rebecca is towed away losing her safari hat.) YEEOWWWWIIII! (Kit drops down from the rock and runs off.)

Kit: Come on, Baloo!

Baloo: I'm comin'! Somebody's got to save her from herself. (Baloo walks stage right.)

Scene IV

(Cut to a far shot of the jungle as Hogzilla is running with Rebecca in tow, and oinking some more.)

Rebecca: Onward! Onward! (Kit and Baloo run after her. Kit and Baloo run into the darkness.)

Baloo: Hey?! Who turned out the lights?! (Baloo and Kit walk out into the light.)

Rebecca: Kit? Baloo? Where are you? (Cut to Rebecca in the tree branches as Hogzilla is about six to ten feet above Rebecca hanging on a branch.)

Kit: We're down here, Miss Cunningham!

Rebecca: Where's the pig?

Baloo: Isn't he with you? (The branch Hogzilla is grabbing on breaks causing him to free fall and Rebecca come tumbling down with him.)

Rebecca: No! (Baloo and Kit scatter as Rebecca and Hogzilla crash onto the ground below. Hogzilla lands right on Rebecca's legs. Baloo and Kit come back.)

Baloo: Don't you think it's time you admitted that this was all a stupid idea? (Hogzilla growls at Baloo.)

Rebecca: Well, actually... (A lion roars.)

Baloo: That sounded like a...lion? (More roars from the lion.)

Rebecca: A lion? (Hogzilla is panicking.) You sure it wasn't the pig pretending to be a lion? (A lion appears before them and roars again.)

Baloo: (Baloo, Kit, Hogzilla and Rebecca huddle together with Baloo behind Hogzilla.) Nope. Lion. Definitely lion. Nice kitty. (Pushes Hogzilla forward who is on his hind legs now.) How about a big, fat, juicy, pig? Oh, yum! Doesn't he look good?

Rebecca: No, Baloo! You can't...!

Baloo: But, but...?!

Rebecca: (Grabs Hogzilla back) This pig's still gonna make me rich. (Baloo grabs Hogzilla again.)

Baloo: Ever heard the phrase "dead broke"? Well, you're gonna be dead rich! (The lion pounces on them as Baloo and Kit run stage right and the lion follows them. Hogzilla run stage left with Rebecca in tow. Hogzilla runs into the jungle for awhile.)

Rebecca: ♪ When the wind blows...When the bough breaks...Down will come baby, cradle and...aaaalllllllll. ♪ (Hogzilla drags Rebecca literally through the mud and stops asleep in a very large truffle patch. Rebecca lands face first right into Hogzilla's rear end. Rebecca gets up and is angry.) You dumb pig! I've had it with you! (Rebecca tries to kick Hogzilla in the rear end; but Hogzilla moves and Rebecca trips and falls right on her rear end and back. Rebecca then sobs loudly. She grabs a truffle as a hankerchef and then realizes that it's a real truffle; and is so happy to see it.) Victory! A truffle! Ha Ha! I knew it! I knew this pig would find me truffles! Why, if Baloo were here; I'd tell him... (Hogzilla comes over and eats the truffle making Rebecca angry again.) My truffle! You ate my truffle! (Rebecca opens Hogzilla's mouth. Voice echo.) Give me my truffle! (Closes the mouth and points at Hogzilla.) If you don't find me another truffle, that's going to be the last mouthful you ever...(Hogzilla squeals causing Rebecca to look around and notices that there are truffles everywhere.) Ah-ha! Ha ha ha! (Jumps for joy) ♪ I'm in the truffles! I'm in the truffles... ♪ (Rebecca slides on her knees into the truffles. She grabs as many truffles as she can stand to hold in her arms and chest. Rebecca drops some of the truffles and finds the biggest one in the entire patch.) Come to mama! (Rebecca pulls out the big one with ease as Hogzilla snorts.) Quiet. Look at the size of this one. (Rebecca absently grabs the tail of a gator pygmite wearing native gear and has sharp teeth too along with a stylized spear.) And ugly, too! Agh! Pygmies! (Spears get thrusted at Rebecca as the pygmies surround Rebecca and Hogzilla.) Uh...Truffle, anyone?

End of Act II At 16:40

Act III

Scene I

(We cut to the Pygmites' village after dark with a shot of the a statue of an alligator and some torches. Pan down to ground level as the pygmites are chanting and jumping.)

Pygmites: OOGA-CHUCKA! OOOGA-CHAKA! OOOGA-CHAKA! OOGA-OOGA-OOGA CHUCKA! (Repeat over and over again. Pan over to the gate as Rebecca and Hogzilla are tied to roasting sticks and carried over towards the cauldron. Cut to a kid Pygmy with a fork and a knife joining in and getting clobbered by the adults. The kid goes flying as we cut back to Rebecca.)

Rebecca: Well, if you're pygmies, right; you like pigs, not people. (Disney Caption had it as you're for no reason.) So I'm safe, huh? Where's Baloo when I need him?

Scene II

(Cut to the trees as a lion is climbing a tree. Pan up as we see Baloo and Kit on a tree branch above the lion.)

Kit: I thought you read in a book somewhere; lions don't climb trees, Baloo.

Baloo: Can I help it if this lion didn't read the same book?! (Lion does the shaky claw swipe forcing Baloo to dodge.) Aha! (Baloo grabs a vine.) Hang on, partner. I saw this once in a movie. (Disney Caption said minor. Baloo swings like Tarzan and does the Tarzan yell; but the vine snaps and they free fall to the ground causing Kit and Baloo to scream. They crash into a lot of leaves. Kit is on top of Baloo as the baseball cap is over his eyes.)

Kit: Is that what happened in the movie? (Baloo pops up and Kit is standing literally on Baloo's head.)

Baloo: Uh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. (The lion roars and Kit runs away Hanna Barbera style, remembering to kick Baloo several times in the face as he runs. Baloo runs away with same style as well.)

Scene III

(Cut to the sky shot of the statue with a cauldron at the feet of the statue. Rebecca and Hogzilla are tied up on the top of the statue with three pygmites with spears. The pygmites do their OOOGA-CHAKA chant once again. Hogzilla gets push down the long nose of the statue and splashes into the cauldron. The broth melts the ropes for some reason. Rebecca gets the same treatment off-screen.)

Rebecca: Ah! That's better! Now, if you just let me...Aaagh! (Rebecca pops up and her hair is ruined again. She coughs as the pygmites throw truffles into the cauldron.) How dare you?! Why you little sod-up...?! (One of the pygmites stuffs a truffle to shut her up. This confirms my theory that she said "sod-up" and not "sawed-up" as written by Disney Captions. Sod can sometimes mean a sodomite, but it can also mean contemptible or obnoxious. So sod-off or sod-up makes more sense in terms of British slang. Rebecca pops the truffle from her mouth.) Truffle stew. And I'm in it! (She throws it back and Hogzilla eats it on the way down.) Well, I said I'd find truffles, didn't I? What a stupid idea?! (Hogzilla snorts.) Don't rub it in. (The kid pygmy jumps up and uses salt and pepper shakers to season Hogzilla and Rebecca.) Sometimes, I just get a little...stubborn. But, I'll never let it happen ever again, ever! Aagh! If there is an "ever"! (Pan down to the kid pygmy rubbing two sticks together to make a fire. He gets kicked away by the adults. Cut to a picnic table near the brick wall as two pygmites wrap a white cover onto the wooden picnic table. Which contains bowls, glasses, and a metal vase with flowers in it. They shake hands and then get lassoes and hoisted over the brick wall. They all get whacked by Baloo and tied to a tree, hung and gagged. Baloo steals their outfits and both he and Kit put them on. Baloo looks inside through an open brick and then goes over to Kit.)

Baloo: Well, what do you think?

Kit: You'll never make it as a pygmy pin-up, Baloo. You're too big.

Baloo: Ah! Don't sweat it, Lil' Britches. No one'll notice. (Baloo heads inside as Kit is confused. Cut back to Rebecca and Hogzilla watching in horror the shadows of the Pygmites chanting OOOGA-CHAKA over and over again. Cut to two pygmites looking at Baloo and Kit walking in.) May I have this dance? (Baloo takes one of the pygmites and spins him around like a top. The pygmite is dizzy and Baloo dances with him.) A-doopy-doopy-doo-bah! A-doopy-doopy-doo-bah! (Looks at the non-dizzy pygmite.) Come on, wallflowers! Don't be shy! (Baloo dances off and the pygmites follow him with glee. The kid pygmy stops at Kit.)

Kid Pygmy: All right's...the big one! (The kid pygmy runs off to join them. Baloo does the doopy-doopy-doo-bah chant while circling and dancing around the village. Strangely; the pygmites chant their usual OOOGA-CHAKA routine; but into the timing of the "DOOPY-DOOPY-DOO-BAH" chant Baloo is doing. Cut to a pygmite at the drums with a log, pondering this over and testing Baloo's beat. It passes the test and he starts playing according to the chant Baloo does. The kid pygmite comes over and plays triangle and then get slapped away by the drummer. Cut to a shot of Rebecca and Hogzilla in the cauldron watching the dancing circle. As this is going on, Kit sneaks over to the cauldron.)

Kit: Psst. Miss Cunningham?

Rebecca: (Turns around.) Kit? Is that you?

Kit: (Points over to Baloo.) And Baloo. (Rebecca sees Baloo dancing.)

Rebecca: Baloo?!

Kit: Shh! Miss Cunningham, quiet. (Helps Rebecca out of the cauldron and Hogzilla gets out on his own.)

Rebecca: Right, right. Quiet as a mouse. (Hogzilla shakes the water all over Kit and Rebecca. Kit, Hogzilla and Rebecca are about to leave; but Rebecca turns around back to the cauldron to get some truffles.) Let me grab a few of those truffles.

Kit: Miss Cunningham! (Kit goes over to the cauldron as Rebecca is grabbing truffles out of the cauldron.)

Rebecca: At fifty dollars a truffle, we could still make...(Kit taps Rebecca on the back.) Just a second. (Rebecca grabs one truffle and it falls out of her hand as three spears are thrusted at Hogzilla, Baloo and Kit. The pygmites stop selling this and they're not fooled from the start.)

Baloo: (chuckles) Heh heh. One more...time? (Baloo is pushed back to Kit, Rebecca and Hogzilla.) Wonderful, Rebecca! Simply wonderful!

Rebecca: I'm sorry...It was just an idea. (Baloo turns around.) Wait. I have another idea!

Baloo: Oh, great! How you gonna get rich now? Selling these guys cookin' utensils?

Rebecca: No! The pig, the pig!

Baloo: Oh, yeah. (Hogzilla looks offended.)

Rebecca: One!

Baloo: Two!

Rebecca: Three!

Baloo/Rebecca: BACON! (Kit watches as Hogzilla goes into Tazmanian Devil mode as the pygmites grab each other and panic.)

Pygmites: Gooma-See-Ma-Gooma! (The pygmites scatter in various direction as Hogzilla is growling like a lion. The kid pygmite dig a hole in the ground and buries itself. Cut to a shot of the brick wall as the pygmites are getting bounced up and down in the air as Baloo, Rebecca, and Kit escape as Hogzilla does it's damage at the full moon.)

Scene IV

(Shot of the morning sky and then pan down to the toll booth as the Zibaldo security guard walks to the toll booth with his job card and black lunchbox. He checks himself in and hears yelling. The guard opens the lunchbox and brings out his yo-yo as Baloo, Rebecca and Kit break through the barrier, knock the guard face first into the ground and step over him. Hogzilla has joined in after his destruction of the village as the pygmites run after him.)

Rebecca: We're running!

Baloo: We're running!

Zibaldo Security Guard: (Pops up.) Hey, you three; wait a second?! Where do you think you're going?! (The pygmites run over him stage left, and the kid pygmy with the knife and fork squashes the guard's head in the process before following his adult troop. Cut to more shots of the jungle.)

Baloo: If we can just make it to the Duck (Disney Caption said "deck" here.); we'll fly outta here. (Baloo, Kit, Rebecca and Hogzilla run towards the pier where the SeaDuck is, but Kit stops.)

Kit: Um, Baloo...?!

Rebecca: Oh, no!

Baloo: I forgot! I forgot! (The SeaDuck still has no pontoon left.)

Kit: What are we gonna do now?

Baloo: I don't know, but we'd better think of somethin' quick. (Baloo, Kit, Rebecca and Hogzilla run towards the SeaDuck as the pygmites run towards the hard camera.)

Scene V

(Cut to a sky shot of the SeaDuck flying over the sea. Cut to a shot inside the cockpit with Baloo, Kit and Rebecca.)

Rebecca: Honest, Baloo; I've learned my lesson. I was just being too stubborn to admit I was wrong.

Baloo: You might say you were being pigheaded. (Chuckles.)

Kit: Ha ha ha. Pigheaded! That's a good one, Baloo.

Rebecca: (Chuckles) Speaking of which, as soon as we get back, I'll get refund on the pig.

Baloo: That's okay by me. But it seems kind of a shame to give the pig up now. (Outside side shot of the SeaDuck flying and a shot at the right wing where Hogzilla is tied to the wing and acting as a pontoon.) I mean, the SeaDuck's flyin' like a dream. (Closeup shot of the pig oinking and smiling as the SeaDuck flies away from the camera and we circle fade out.)

End of Episode At 21:25

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