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On A Wing And A Bear Re-Rant
Reviewed: 10/17/2010
Additional
Commentary: 10/06/2021
Alphabetical Orders Are Not A Toy! Only Database Experts Should Be Using Them!
Original Airdate: 10/03/1990 (Syndication), Episode #22 (TaleSpin DVD Volume 1, Disc 3), Episode #20 (Production Order).
On
A Wing & A Bear Notes
On
A Wing & A Bear Transcript
(April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: That is officially the last time I do additional commentary on a re-rant before I do a transcript of the same episode. 2010 Me decided to cut and paste about 75% of his 2005 rant of the same episode and thus missed a lot of critical analysis; and so March 2016 Me simply just reacted to the re-rant instead of the actual episode. Needless to say; I will always do the transcript first before the additional commentary from here on out. Oh; and during syndication of 1990; this episode seemed to be played a lot on re-runs as well.) Well, we wind down disc three, volume one of TaleSpin as Baloo loses his license and must renew it with a teacher who has a unique species with an annoying trait for ABC's all while a gas shortage takes place. Ummm; yeah. Needless to say; you can tell that Ken Koonce and David Weimers were losing their touch at this point. (2016 Gregory Weagle Says: This was a point where the Ken/David combination was slowly becoming exposed as hack writers: They were writing like a BS&P writer would, instead of letting the show be the show it wants to be. If it wasn't for TaleSpin's trait of great second plots overtaking the original plot (See My Fair Baloo for a better example); this would be an easy thumbs down. This is also one of the only times you'll ever see Shere Khan depend on Don Karnage to succeed. Most times; Khan is a tweener who doesn't care for anyone regardless of their alignment. Sometimes he'll be the babyface; sometimes he'll be the troll to Higher For Hire. However; it's rare that Don Karnage and Khan would get together as heels. Well, in television anyway; the comics were the place where Shere Khan had no trouble heeling it up on the babyfaces. Of course, the partnership didn't last because Khan trusts no one but himself; but Khan was protrayed as an outright heel in the toy line of this series and probably one reason why the toy line was so poor: Maybe it's because children can think for themselves enough to tell who is a heel, who is a babyface and who is both, thus David and Ken felt that the toy line was accurate. It was not.) Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written and story edited by Ken Koonce & David Weimers. The animation is done by Wang Films Animation.
We begin this one with a far shot of the cliff guns as the SeaDuck heads towards them. Baloo calls it no place like home as Kit notices the speedometer is reached the upper ¾'s of the circle as Kit calls him out on his speed. Baloo nods the pilot's cap and he won't tell as long as Kit doesn't. Kit just smiles, then we hear the police sirens and here comes a police seaplane on the SeaDuck's tailsection. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: I guess I was not in the mood to say: Here comes the bad episode police~! Maybe the episode wasn't bad, but a more amused me would have written that line.) Baloo is forced to land on the water and out comes a hippo police woman in uniform with glasses on. Baloo loves this because it's a she-cop. I see the sexist juices are on full alert for Pop-A-Bear today. (Just wait until The Time Bandit when David and Ken were at their lowest gender enlightenment wise. Oh; and the police officer is fat too; although the hippo furry thing kind of made that possible. It's really difficult to cheer the police officer here after seeing Judy Hopps just blow the police officer concept out of the water, into hell and back in Zootopia. Now the tenth highest grossing film of all times.) Baloo decides to do the old sexist sweet talk routine on her just to demonstrate to Kit how to be immoral. Or maybe not quite that. (Oh; it's quite that 2010 me!) The police woman jumps onto the right wing with the notepad of tickets as Baloo comments about her eyes sparkling like the badge. The police woman is voiced by Sally Struthers (This would be like Tony Jay in that she does voice more than one character in this series.), and the officer proclaims that flattery will get him five to ten years. HAHA! Or five to ten punches in the kisser depending on how much I piss off the peanut gallery today. (Actually; it's more like 500,000 to one million hours of education, but scoiopathy is a tough nut to crack let me tell you.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I know she means five to ten years in jail; but "five to ten" could be constructed as anything Baloo doesn't like. Either way; Baloo is looking like the kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Again.)
Anyhow; the police officer goes into her pink notebook (Ah, the old stereotype of pink being a female; I see someone still hasn't gotten it out of their systems completely yet. (As if they ever did.)) and pencil as the officer wants Baloo's pilot license. Baloo takes out the pilot's license and gives it to the lady as he tries to talk his way out of a speeding ticket again. No; folks, this isn't the episode where they pay off the speeding tickets angle. (Actually; it's parking tickets; but it really doesn't matter at this point.) But it is coming, mark my words. Police officer no sells as Baloo tries the old "seven orphans to the circus" trick as Kit is not amused. (Considering that Kit was an orphan himself; I can see why he isn't amused. Being parentless in the Depression is not funny and shouldn't be used as a way to weasel your way out of trouble. Furthermore; isn't this weaseling out the sort of thing we accuse Johnny Test of in his shows many years later? I never seen such rose colored glasses become so opaque and transparent all at the same time. It's amazing.) Baloo then tries buying his mother a ticket to the air police ball. That's enough for the officer to sell and Baloo is out of the speeding ticket. However; she hands Baloo a pink ticket and Baloo asks what it is for. She states that he was flying with an expired license. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like I said before; she was playing with his mind all along just to buy time to catch him off-guard with a far worse offense. (Speeding is much more dangerous of an offense than driving with a expired license by the way; so it cannot be any worse. Although; the consequences are somehow worse than if he was charged with speeding. That's consequences logic for you.) Baloo is not happy to hear that one. So we head into the office of Higher...For...Hire as Rebecca is carrying a box towards the door which must be heavier than her. For goodness sakes Miss Cunningham; eat a cheeseburger once in a while, it's okay to do so! (Or hire Airplane Jane right now; because you damn sure need her in this episode.) Baloo walks in as Rebecca wants Baloo to deliver the red herrings to the Sherlock Retirement Homes.
For those who don't get that; a red herring is something dishonest people use to distract from the real arguments. (Which is apporos given how Baloo tried the same thing to the police woman in the first scene. Nice payoff there David and Ken. When they are good, they are good. When they are bad, they are really, really bad.) She gives him the box while she does the clipboard routine which magically comes out of nowhere for the first logic break of the episode 2 1/2 minutes in. Baloo proclaims that there is one little problem and he cannot fly due to the expired license. That brings out the WRAITH OF BECKEY on Baloo as she calls him an idiot, stupid, imbecilie and a moron. Geez; that's overkill there, Rebecca. You had me at idiot. (Yes; Rebecca is acting like an ass, which means David and Ken are writing this. Although it's completely understandable here because Baloo is once again showing how lazy and irresponsible he is. At least Koonce and Weimers are booking Rebecca all right so far; at least compared to The Time Bandit. Also, it's better than Cushner's booking in The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually; if you read the transcript; Rebecca never called Baloo any of those ableist words. She called Baloo's actions idiotic, stupid, moronic and imbecilic. She didn't put Baloo down; she put his actions down. That's actually all right. I mean, come on! Personally; I would have changed it to "lazy, reckless and irresponsible things to do"; because that would have been even more accurate.) Baloo tells her to calm down and he'll renew his license without any problems. Rebecca basically threatens to fire him if he doesn't as she puts the box somewhere and storms off stage left. Yeah; she's in jerkass mode today. (Although it's understandable because she will have no pilot if Baloo doesn't renew his license; and Kit's too young to fly at this point.) Baloo sighs and decides that it's time to go to FLAP. Kit asks about FLAP and Baloo calls it the Federal Licensing Agency for Pilots. Makes perfect sense to me as both flyboys walk out. (Odd that Kit wouldn't know this given his gimmick of being an aviation historian. Then again, Ken Koonce and David Weimers are writing here; so there you go.)
We go to the scene changer as Rebecca continues to walk with the red herrings box as we are outside the office and we see a monkey pumper for Khanoco (Khan Fuels, Khan Gas) along with his green gas tank truck. We hear some blowhorns in the background which is badly mistimed when the gas monkey (I have zero idea who voices him; probably Ed Gilbert or Jim Cummings. (My notes I think read Charlie Adler did this role.)) wants $120 from her on a small car tank of gas. It's 1937 and that's too expensive even by 1990 standards. Just about right for 2010 though. (In 2012; gas was $1.30 per litre. Four years later; it's $0.94 per litre due to oil prices overseas tanking. Personally; I think extremely low oil prices are bad; but extremely high prices aren't better for anyone. We need to strike a balance between the two extreme and keep the price frozen around that mark. It would also benefit if we had actual competition with other forms of energy instead of one big giant form of energy and several smaller forms; but baby steps, people.) When will we ever learn?! (Let me finish your point there: When will we learn to allow actual energy competition and tell oil companies to actually practice capitalism instead of practicing commuism in business clothing? Answer: Never. Why? Because corporism actually makes a hell of a lot more money.) Rebecca panics and drops the red herrings as she wants to know who is responsible for this. The monkey (who probably got fired from Louie's I guess for some odd reason. (Here's an obvious stereotype: The gas attendents are always monkeys on this show. Even police officers can be shown as dogs, pigs, gators and even a walrus at one point. (Heck; the police officer was a hippo in the first scene!) If you are going to point out offensive stereotypes; you might as well go all the way with it. If there's one thing I don't like is meeting halfway on something you shouldn't ever have to meet halfway. It makes me look half-assed. Although thanks to having to recover from boils up the ass; I have been half-assing these commentaries and eighth assing doing them because I'm so tried quickly.)) shows his symbol of K which is Mr. Khan.
Rebecca grabs the box and throws it into her blue car and blows off the monkey because he no khan do. (Did Rebecca really say that; or is this just another example of cutting and pasting portions of your 2004 rant into this rant 2010 me? I hate it when we pun it up for no reason.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: She did in fact say "no khan do" in the episode. It's basically a message that these high gas price just won't do.) She drives backwards and then drives stage left behind the gas truck. Okkkkkkaaaayyyyyy. We go to another scene changer as we pan up Khan's Tower with Mr. Yes-Man yelling at someone to stop because he/she cannot go in there and because Khan sees no one. Sorry Mr. Yes-Man; it's already happened with Martin Torque and Rebecca already in Plunder and Lightning Part Three. (Sure; but Khan is basing this on an order, not that it stops people from entering his office. Khan needs much better security; which he finally got in Baloo Thunder. Sadly; it would have done him no good against MEL in Bullethead Baloo.) We go into the office of Mr. Khan as the doors open and the mature lighting is in effect full blast as Rebecca blows him off because no yes-man is going to tell her no. (Ah; I see Rebecca is in mid-season form as a proto-feminist.) They walk in (Sound effects of walking to boot; at least the sound effects guys are trying hard today.) as Khan wants Rebecca to speak her piece. Rebecca gets to the desk and tries to form more than three words; but gasps and asks for a glass of water. HAHA! (So she took the stairs instead of the elevator? That's really stupid of her.) Rebecca slumps onto the conveniently placed blue plushed chair and Khan gives her a glass of water to gulp. Khan walks away asking if she's here about the high gas prices. Rebecca proclaims that she is and then in runs Khan's Yes-Man as he tells him that another oil tanker has been hijacked and disappeared. (And thus begins the build of the better subplot; because the main plot of Baloo getting back his license is not compelling on it's own.) Khan then gets all emotional which basically gives away the fact that he's in on the terrorism since Khan never gets emotional about the pirates in Plunder and Lightning at all. Khan proclaims that the prices will have to go higher as a result and Rebecca doesn't like this one bit since it makes her business more difficult. Khan proclaims that it is always the little guy who gets screwed. Truer words never spoken Mr. Khan. (You know Khan is truly without empathy when even HE admits that the one percenter always wins. I just love how contrived Khan's attempt of empathy, it looks so corny.)
Rebecca decides to check the couch for loose change and apologizes for bothering him and Khna apologizes in kind. Khan trying to show emotion is so laughable; it shows why Tony Jay got the role and why going out of character isn't so awesome. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Tony Jay's acting was hideously hilarious here and it worked to perfection, just to make Rebecca look like an ass. Khan attempt at empathy was so hideously hilarious, everyone should have thrown tomatoes at him without fail.) Rebecca walks away on the sky shot and then we cut to a front shot as Khan tells Mr. Yes-Man to deliver a telegram to Don Karnage to thank him for the hijackings. Again; and people are SHOCKED when this show was blacklisting for one year after 9/11?! (Oh; just wait until the end when Don Karnage gets the final telegram from Khan; it's literally exploded when it was read.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Okay; here is where cutting something out would have made the episode better. Yes folks, I'm going to demonstrate a moment where censorship would have made something better instead of worse: All Khan has to say here is: "Yes-Man (or whomever his name is); write me a telegram..." and then end scene. The whole reason for that is that we aren't supposed to know that Khan Industries made a deal with the devil (Don Karnage) until we see Khan's Yes-Man parachuting down on the island in the third act with Baloo and Throgmorton. Instead; Shere Khan basically says to send a telegram to Don Karnage thanking him for the hijacking. This is babying the kids to the point of being insulting to them. I've seen it in Mighty Ducks and I'm seeing it here. You can keep the secret until the third act; no one needs to know right away that Khan and Don Karnage are basically in bed causing the shortage. By blowing your cover right away, there's no suspense for this and all kids would say "Stop babying me! I get enough of that from my parents!". By not blowing your cover right away; when the third act occurs, then the young kids will be shocked and then they'll say: "So that's who was getting the telegram!" and they'll also think it's great. The older kids probably would have figured it out during this scene and then say to the small kid: "Well, duh! It had to be Shere Khan because Shere Khan has a lot of money." In my case; I would have chimed in: "Shere Khan's gimmick is that he's unemotional. So being emotional is bona fide evidence that he's faking it. Either way; that was brilliant!" And the kids would agree with me; because it would make sense. So yeah; Ken Koonce and David Weimers are living evidence that they should have never been allowed to edit their own stories.)
We now head to FLAP which is a warehouse with two openings for a wharf with a dock where the SeaDuck is conveniently placed. (It feels like this show takes place in some small fishing community in Nova Scotia at times and then it looks like New York City in other places. Cape Suzette is such an amazing city when it properly fleshed out and it's things like this that got the show over for adults and children alike. It felt like a sandbox and it plays like one. The sort of thing Grand Theft Auto was. Like I said in For Whom The Bell Klangs: Disney already did their version of GTA. That production was TaleSpin; and Zootopia is basically it's 2016 modern world sequel without the flying. I just love it that Zootopia is doing so well now in a dead zone month at $500 million in ticket sales and counting; that it does give me hope for Zootopia to be a television series and a crossover with TaleSpin characters. They already have a fanbase with Zootopia and bringing in TaleSpin characters would bridge the gap and make the Zootopia brand look like the greatest thing to happen to Disney. Plus; put to bed the stereotypes of furries being sick and perverted once and for all.) We cut to inside where we see a few furries writing as Baloo and Kit wait behind a desk as Baloo talks about finishing this exam so fast that he'll get a speeding ticket. (Memo to Pop-A-Bear: Don't endorse obvious illegality in front of a clerk. Most authories have great hearing you know; it's all part of the training.) Let me guess; to add to the collection of speeding tickets that you will have to pay in Bringing Down Babyface. Sometimes CONTINUITY can stink. (Yeah; I'm still shocked that Colieen and Ellen remembered this little detail in Bringing Down Babyface and interjected a payoff to the whole thing. It's getting harder and harder for me to believe that this show was a rush job.)
A chipmunk furry (I think. Voiced by Ed Gilbert. (I think it's Chuck McCann actually. It looks like Ed Pomeroy from Sheepskin Deep in a different voice. Now that I had a look of him; he looks like a bear.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: It's Edmund Gilbert for sure; he's using his Austin Featherridge voice here.)) arrives and gives him exam papers as he declares that Baloo's teacher will be Mr. Throgmorton. That causes Baloo to panic because his real name is Mr. Ralph "Love To Flunk'em" Throgmorton. Kit wonders why. I have a better question: Why is this show treating Ralph as a heel? (Personally; the nickname is so hack writer-ish of Ken and David. Seriously; if I was booking this, the nickname would be Ralph "Love To Tough'em" Throgmorton to showcase his tough exmination process. Ralph is supposed to be an annoying babyface guy who has a tough exmination process. By making his nickname "Love To Flunk'em"; you basically turn him into an annoying heel who wants to screw Baloo. It doesn't make for an endearing character and it makes the examination process look like a joke. Which it is a joke by the way as you'll see later.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: The funniest thing about this is: Everything I said a month ago in the additional commentary would have been true if Ralph himself came up with the nickname. Not once did Ralph Throgmorton ever flaunt this reputation that Baloo gave to him. Not one time in the flashbacks and not one time during this episode. Now; I can understand 2016 Me's point of changing the nickname and it's a lovely change to be honest with you. However; calling KK/DW's writing of it hackish is really dumb. Don't worry; there are instances later on where it becomes apparent; but not here.)
Interesting Moment #1: TaleSpin has been known for it deverse number of species. I counted around fifty-seven plus species so far in this entire series. (It's now up to seventy plus 2010 Me! I think only Zootopia comes even close to that mark. If a Zootopia television series does happen (and it is being planned for in future); then it can surpass it. Plus; Zootopia has Peter Mansbridge of CBC news fame in the movie. That in itself is enough for this Canadian to see this movie. Oh sure; it does a wonderful job in nearly every other area it was supposed to do, has TaleSpin-equse characterization and an amazingly well done subplot of systemic bigotry within the police force, but to bring in Peter F'N Mansbridge as a news reporter (Not all versions have this; some countries used their own localized reporter (and I hope they are all included in the DVD/Blu-Ray set of this movie)); that's Segata Sanshiro-equse. There's your fifty bucks on the DVD right there folks!) However; Jymn Magon went hogwild with the species for Ralph and her daughter Kathy Throgmorton: They are Nutrias. No really; there is such a species. Look it up on the internet and you'll find out about them. (Actually; that name is a variation of the original species name Coypu. Still doesn't take away the decision to use them for the Throgmortons.) Man; if this series went on for a hundred episodes; I wouldn't be shocked if there were a hundred plus different species in the show alone. (Keep dreaming fool; Zootopia's the new leader of the free furry world now. Although a Zootopia X TaleSpin series would be awesome; but again, I have zero faith in Disney even knowing what TaleSpin stood for, let alone knowing how to do a crossover properly outside of Disney Infinity.) You can refer to the soon to be completed TaleSpin Species Guide on my Livejournal for extra details (although Koosh made one version himself on the TaleSpin Community Livejournal. (Here's the 25 Years Of Spin version; still incomplete at this point.).
Anime Flashback #1: We go to a young Baloo (voiced by Ed Gilbert) who is walking like an idiot. (Young Baloo is wearing a grey sweater with orange trim and a hat with the top opened up. Remember that for later on in this flashback because I'm going to refer to it as evidence that Ralph Throgmorton is innocent of all charges levied against him.) I would flunk him just for walking like that. However; Ralph restrains himself as he gets into his blue antique car (Which as we saw later on; he has never thrown it out. He is more old fashioned than Osmau's father in Chargeman Ken.). Ralph Thorgmorton is voiced by the late Ken Sansom whom passed away in 2012 . Ralph wants to demonstrates the ABC's of driving. (Yes, Ralph also issues licensing for driving cars, as well as airplanes. They never explained why or how Ralph uses this meritulous form of starting a car as his way of life; because Ken & David still think kids do not care about such things and just want to drive the comedy quota home. Never mind that if you don't allow us to actually care about the characters, then screw your episode, I'm watching Tiny Toons because at least Tiny Toons is not pretending that it's a huge dose of comedy. Hell; they say so in the opening sequence. You can debate if the comedy is funny; but at least Tiny Toons knows what it is and shortcuts are fine there because it's all about comedy. It's episodes like this that hurt TaleSpin rather than helped. Yes; other shows stoop to this low and many times even lower. But if you are creating a more mature show; you have to be more careful not to depend on stupid shortcuts like this.) Baloo looks like an idiot as usual. Needless to say; Baloo screws the whole thing up. See; Ralph Throgmorton does all of his stuff in alphabetical order and anything that doesn't follow that order doesn't get done until it is in the proper order. That is just too funny and Ralph is over just for that.
If anyone can torment Baloo that way; it is fine by me because it was Baloo who's the learner and his job is to get it right; not Ralph. (There's one big problem with this: In real life; doing things in alphabetical order all the time causes big problems and gets awfully annoying after a while. Once you see it more than twice and realize that real life isn't like that, the joke dies a horrible death and makes Ralph look like an uncaring authority figure.)(April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually; the first time Baloo screwed up was due to confusion between Baloo being told to "go ahead" and "back up". The problem is; Baloo himself lacks the education of understanding what Ralph means between the two because Baloo back then was lazy and irresponsible. So in other words; Ralph looks like a frustrated victim and Baloo looks like a terror. So Ralph calling Baloo a moron actually is apporos here. Worse; if you read the transcripts during this, you'll see a theme running in Baloo's reaction to Throgmorton everytime he gets mad that he blames Ralph for everytime he screws up. This becomes very important for the finish by the way.) This is going to be great. I'm not going to go over this because you have to see it to believe it. The sad part about this whole thing is that the writers are going to pound this joke to the ground because Ralph is a one joke pony. A funny one joke; but still a one joke nevertheless. Baloo pledging the USA flag is a bit out of place since this is Usland; but you never know. (This shows Ken and David's hack writing as well: Usland is canon; and yet Baloo is pledging on the real USA flag. If you are going to have America represented and your ficitional world for America; it's the Uslandan flag. You can have the flag look similar to the USA flag for crying out loud. Just call it the Uslandan flag and stop trying to make kids relate to the real world; when it would be better to just show them a documentary of the real world. It makes no sense otherwise.)
(April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually there was a lot going on here that 2005 Me missed: Baloo is driving on the road as Baloo's voice is narrating (and as he was narrating, Baloo's mouth in the flashback was moving perfectly with the narration. Very sloppy there Wang.) to Kit as he was blaming Ralph for making him nervous even though in the flashback; Baloo was acting like an idiot because he couldn't tell the difference between "Go ahead" and "back up". The ABC joke had ZERO to do with the crash because he didn't use it there. This makes Baloo look like a whiny heel who's never in the wrong. Ralph is a busy-body; but so far, there is nothing he has done that would be constructed as terrible. This is all on Baloo being a scumbag. So the next spot was Ralph telling Baloo to turn right; so Baloo puts his hand over his heart and does the Pledge of Alliagence. Only he doesn't say "Of The United States Of America." So 2016 Me actually jumped the gun here and that Ken Koonce and David Weimers didn't commit the deadly sin of hack writing here. Worse; the ABC jokes was NEVER in evidence here. Baloo crashed his car because of his stupid beliefs and even Ralph was angry at him for that. And rightfully so; since he missed the street. So Baloo simply turns around, drives into an alleyway and crashes into the second red fire hydrant of the episode. Yeah; Baloo cannot take criticism well at all that he simply decides to spite Ralph and crash anyway. Oh and by the way; there is a fire hydrant in plain slight on the docks in front of the FLAP building. Huh, indeed.)
The flashback ends with Throgmorton getting off moronic word number four for the series and Baloo crashing again. (Yeah; call Baloo a moron when he nearly tried to kill you. That's literally being generous there Ralph. Call him reckless and irresponsible; that's more like it.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: And just to make Ralph look more like a victim; Baloo does the free car wash joke acting like a comic jokester in a situation that could have easily killed both men. Ralph is flustered beyong belief and I cannot blame him.) Kit tries to pump up Baloo's confidence because Baloo is the best pilot in the world. Kit you have no idea who Ralph Throgmorton is as they walk towards the SeaDuck. (Koosh on the other hand has already given Kit a taste of Ralph in his fanfic; and it doesn't taste good.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I love how Kit responds to this because he pointed out that this was however many years ago and things are different. He is making an assumpation that Ralph has grown out of that joke; which he is completely wrong about. Still; you got to do it in order to get Baloo to bite in spite of Ralph's stuffy joke.) Ralph and Baloo greet each other and Ralph is acting very tentative about meeting this guy. I guess that incident with the car is blocked completely out of his mind. (You mean; the incident with the car is still fresh in his mind 2010 Me? Because if it was completely blocked out, he wouldn't know who Baloo was to begin with.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually; he's not tentative about anything, but he does have a second thought about who this Baloo guy might be because that's not a common name; and yet Baloo lies through his teeth that Baloo is a common name like Smith and Jones. Name me one person on planet Earth named Baloo that isn't this Jungle Book character. I'm not saying that Baloo is a terrible name or anything. But calling it common even in a ficitional country like Usland? Riiiigggghhhhttttt.) Anyhow; Baloo and Ralph enter the SeaDuck and already Ralph begins his alphabetical joke once again.
You think this joke is going to get pounded to the ground NOW; wait until after the flight test is over. It all starts with the preflight check and Baloo screws that up in Ralph's eyes. Ralph is good with getting heat; but where are the watchdogs to watch the watchdogs? Is this some anti-liberal message that I'm not getting? Why do I get the feeling that the writers of Recess and Detention watched this episode which repeated more times than any other episode in existence? (Again; the joke sounds funny the first time, but it's a short term joke and when you drive the joke into the ground like Ken and David are about to do; it gets banal and tacky. Although; I'm sure that this is not some anti-liberal message because the watchdog would literally be a dog in this show. To which Ralph is not.) Okay; I'm getting off-base here; back to the rant. Baloo is now so confused that he just presses buttons just to scare me. For some reason; I'm beginning to feel sorry for Poppa Bear now. This is where even I was defending Poppa Bear and that's mainly because while Baloo was being really stupid in not renewing his license before getting caught by the police for driving with an expired license; (Which also I point out: They never stated what consequences Baloo had for flying with an expired licensed. No mention of any fine whatsoever.) Ralph's whole gimmick is becoming a joke that was only funny after once or twice. (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I'm going to have to flog 2010 Me now because while the ABC joke is annoying to a certain degree; the underlying problem of feeling sorry for Baloo is under the assumpation that Baloo wasn't complaining. I did the transcript and everytime Baloo was scolded by Ralph for doing something wrong; Baloo always blamed him for that joke, even when that joke wasn't even in evidence. It gets worse later on by the way for Baloo; to the point where I felt bad for Ralph and hated Baloo.) Baloo backs the SeaDuck and it bumps into another fire hydrant which causes Ralph to finally remember. So much for blocking that image out of his mind. (Wait; how could there be a fire hydrant on a wooden dock? I need to watch this when I do the transcript because that makes no sense.)
(April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I did some Google-fu and yes, it is possible for a fire hydrant to be on a wooden dock in real life; although most of them look different from the typical stereotypical fire hydrant. It makes sense because of fire regulations.) We return to Higher...For...Hire as Rebecca is extremely worried that Baloo will not pass the flight exam. I'd be more worried about suing Ralph if he doesn't at this point, Miss Cunningham. Kit is apparently inside the office for some reason. I guess he walked home; so there's no logic break there. (Rebecca is all panicky and pacing around here and I didn't figure out why until I did the transcript: Kit came home and off-screen told Rebecca about Ralph Throgmorton and why Baloo is so afraid of him. This adds to Rebecca's worries because now even Baloo renewing his license isn't assured. Sure; the gas prices are a huge problem, but losing Baloo as a pilot is even worse now that the money shot is no longer money.) Baloo finally enters and gives her the bad news. (The bad news was that gas prices are higher, and the good news is that she won't need gas because Baloo failed the test. Yeah; real good news eh?) Rebecca demands that he march back to FLAP and retake the test; but Baloo doesn't want to go back because that means he must put up with Ralph "Love To Flunk'em" Throgmorton. (Wait; so why not just ask the clerk to have a new licenser perform the examination? If FLAP has one license exmainer; then that's really stupid of them for such a large city such as Cape Suzette. On the other hand; they never state that there is only one, so it makes Baloo look like someone who says "I don't wanna". Remember; Baloo is the number one babyface of the show. Being Fred Flintstone all the time makes him look like a sleazy heel.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: He never mentions Ralph; although it doesn't matter since it's clear Kit told Rebecca about him off-screen before the scene started. Also of note: I'm pretty sure Baloo couldn't ask because the examiners are all randomized to prevent favoritism. Even so; removing one examiner from the list and then randomizing the list would not be favoritism anyway; so what a whiny heel Baloo is still.)
Baloo leaves the office to get his busing license because apparently he's got to make a living somehow. (Which I discovered is not driving a bus; but being someone who works in the catering industry and assists the staff with petty chores. How Rebecca got this confused is beyond me since she's supposed to be book smart.) Now it's time for the joke to get pounded to the ground and ruin the whole episode as a whole. Trust me; you'll be begging for Don Karnage to kill Ralph after the next sequences. (As you'll see in the next three scenes, every single incident is not Ralph or Kathy's fault; it's all on Baloo for not taking criticism. I'll explain each segment as it happens. You'll be very surpised the difference of opinion I had between 2010 Me, 2016 Me and April 2016 Me.) We head to the gas station (Khan Gas no less! How embarrassing for Pop-A-Bear?!) where gas prices are increasing by twenty-five cents a gallon every few seconds. Remember that gas prices back in 1990 were much lower because even 75 cents a liter is extremely cheap gas today. It's about $1.12 a liter here in 2010 thanks to our government capping the prices. (Now thanks to world events, gasoline went up above $1.30 for a while before crashing down to 94 cents on average now.) Anyhow; Baloo is pumping gas and apparently doing a good job of it. However; that good job comes to an end as Ralph arrives and starts to play with his mind as Baloo explains that he flunked the busing test and crashed. I guess the scene was way too violent to show; but whatever. At least Baloo explained what happened and killed off a logic break. (He didn't explain what caused him to crash the bus. Maybe Kathy was supposed to debut there and BS&P shut that down for being too violent. Geez; if this is true, can you imagine how much farther Ken and David were planning to pound the joke into silly putty? Or worse; we find out that Ralph had another sibling who did the same gimmick. I mean; talking about enabling someone...) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: Actually he did explain that he crashed a dessert trolley and this is where I figured out that he wasn't driving a bus; he was busing tables and thus he flunked the catering exam. He doesn't mention any Throgmortons though which indicates that Baloo screwed up pretty much on his own. How can I have sympathy for someone who screws up that badly without any help? I mean; if someone screwed him up; I can understand. But that wasn't the case.)
Baloo then decides to fill up Ralph's gas tank and that when Ralph starts doing his ABC spot again. Is Ralph intentionally trying to get Baloo fired here? (No, he just wants stuff done by his book, which is the standard "customer is always right" rule. The amazing part here is: The alphabetical order here is perfectly acceptable and reasonable when you put more then ten seconds of it.) Baloo screws up and since Ralph isn't the boss of Baloo; he demands that Baloo gets fired by shouting it. Baloo accuses Ralph of screwing him up; but it doesn't work. (It shouldn't work because Baloo is a blaming scumbag who thinks he's never wrong. Again; remember this for the finish.) We now go to the amusement park as we see Baloo handling the airplane flying ride. Once again; he's doing a really good job here. I think this proves that Ralph should be the one fired for assault. However; that doesn't exist in the 1930's so there you go. (No, because it's up to Baloo to handle stuff under pressure, he's failing miserably in anything outside of flying and Ralph is exposing Baloo as a fraud who cannot handle any situation under pressure. We all have that person in our lives that is demanding and taking full advantage of the "customer is always right" rule. They are usually the smart consumers of the world and people like Baloo cannot handle them. So forgive me if I don't feel sorry for Baloo here, and feel sorry for Ralph. Granted; this joke has a short shelf life; but at least Ken Koonce and David Weimers are trying to tell a story with the main subplot.) Anyhow; Ralph Throgmorton's daughter Kathy arrives and gets into the airplane (along with a bear kid, and an elephant kid who looks like that elephant from France created by Brizzi studios in 1989. (You mean Babar 2010 Me? Because that is what his name was.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: He looks nothing like Babar. What are you talking about?)). Baloo tells them to buckle up and Kathy turns into a diva almost instantly as she does the ABC spot. That was pretty cool and she sounds just like Kit in speaking with intelligence. (She says that the first thing to do is A: Airplane Announcement. That was in fact funny.)
Although I have a bad feeling that Ralph is pro-creating just for the sole purpose of making sure Baloo never has a job. The reason I'm not doing this in detail is because this is becoming more insipid by the moment. (I wouldn't call it insipid 2010 Me; simply because the joke does work the first time; but it's a short shelf life joke that they are pounding into the ground. This is not a "never assume it's funny" moment; this is "Never assume that the funny joke will always be funny over and over again when used and abused.") Baloo completely gets confused and screws up which causes Kathy to fly without her seat belt. (Basically; Baloo put the ride backwards and then it sped up after Baloo broke the handle. This is 100% on Baloo again because he should have known the controls and didn't because he simply doesn't know how to handle pressure from someone taking full advantage of "the customer is always right" rule.) It doesn't end happily as she demands that Baloo gets fired. I think she gets it too although Baloo did manage to stop the ride without anyone getting hurt. (When kids are involved in possible injury; then the chances of getting fired is much higher than if adults were involved.) I should point out that Kathy looks kick-butt in her outfit and is voiced by Sherry Lynn which is no surprise since Sherry's anime typecast is little girls in anime. There are at least three more voices to come in the anime department (There are actually six anime voices: Ellen Gerstell, Cam Clarke, Debi Derryberry, Jennifer Darling, Sherry Lynn and David Lodge.). Interesting Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!) "fact": In January 2010, in terms of total film gross, she was the Highest Grossing Female in the Movies and 23rd overall, with a total movie gross of over $2.5 billion US for her work in only 26 movies.[1] She is also one of the co-founders and co-artistic directors of the Children's Theatre Group of Southern California.[2] Anyhow; we go to an apartment building where Baloo is controlling an elevator and doing a good job of it (as seen with the smiley faces of a pig furry lady and a rabbit male furry). (The rabbit in the green shirt looks like Bugs Bunny's son; which would be comical considering that Disney at the time of this cartoon was bashing Looney Tunes and Bugs Bunny of being too old and having no heat. Petty bully is this Michael Eisner.)
Of course; controlling an elevator is easy and you can tell Baloo has been downgraded so much that even Ralph wants to put him out of his misery. (Geez; I wonder what will happen next?) Ralph and Kathy enter the elevator and Baloo closes the door which causes Kathy to scream because Baloo is controlling it. (And we accuse kids of having zero attention spans nowadays. Absurd!) Ralph is ticked off now as he does the ABC spot again. All right; please end this so we can go to commercial break now guys. (Actually; Ralph calms down his daughter and tells her to relax because operating an elevator is simple...) Baloo, of course screws this up (What a surprise?!) and the elevator screams down to the bottom floor at great neck speed. (So what happens? Ralph is pretty reasonable in pointing out how to do it alphabetically and Baloo simply pushes buttons out of spite; and thus keeps putting the blame on Ralph for his inability to handle pressure from a customer. As you can tell; Baloo is not a people person and it shows here as he cannot handle Ralph and Kathy at all. Say what you will about the joke being pounded into the ground; but Baloo is blaming them for his stupidity when in the episode; he was doing moronic things on his own and the joke not being in evidence. Somehow; we are supposed to boo Ralph and Kathy for this?! It's beyond stupid; and I feel bad for Ralph now since he has demonstrated that his joke can be a reasonable way to get through life. Of course; in the end there was evidence that he wasn't above it all; but Baloo acts like everyone is out to get him instead of blaming himself for his mistakes. It's amazing how doing the transcript actually changed the complexion of this episode review. Don't get me wrong; Ken Koonce and David Weimer's writing is not great here, but they aren't nearly as hackish as I thought they would be.) Sadly; the force of gravity didn't MURDER Ralph and Kathy as the elevator crashes into the bottom floor and the elevator hangs on by a thread. (Oh sod off 2010 Me! I don't want these two killed; I just want them to get a new gimmick that doesn't make them look cheesy and one joke.)
Ralph gets off moron word number five (number three for this episode alone) and both Throgmortons demand that Baloo gets fired to end the insipid segment twelve minutes in. Look; I like Kathy and Ralph; but they have no joke outside of the ABC spot and all they did was harass Baloo with a spot that would NEVER work in real life. Sure; Baloo deserves what he got for flying with an expired license; but what is Ralph's excuse for confusing Baloo? (It's up to Baloo to correct his mistakes, not Ralph. Ralph is actually being the reasonable one here and Baloo blaming Ralph for his own moronic decisions as evident in the flashbacks and here.) Is there something in Ralph's life that forces him to do that spot? (Of course; they never explained it because Ken Koonce and David Weimers have been broken into the "It's just for kids" excuse and pounding the one joke into the ground, which that defense does work on shows that are successful (and in some cases, shows that aren't awful in quality); but it makes them look like leeches around great writers like Len Uhley, Jan Strnad and Libby Hinson; who can go beyond the "kids just want the same joke over and over again" which treats the kids like a bunch of Pablo's dogs. It's very insulting to everyone involved and embarrassing to the kids to be treated like that.) I'm just asking because this spot is getting pounded to the ground and it's dragging down the episode. (Maybe when I get the transcript done; I can talk about how to book these two into characters that aren't one joke machines. This is the exception to the rule of TaleSpin; in which everyone is not a joke machine and they can be characters.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: After doing the transcripts; I've decided to leave them mostly as they are. I do have a fanfic idea of Kit taking the flight exam and his supervisor would be Ralph Throgmorton years later. Kit is in his plane as Ralph asks him to recite the pre-flight checks. Kit goes through it in alphabetical number perfectly; and then about four or five checks into the test, Ralph tells him to stop. Kit looks worried and then Ralph tells him: "It's all right; I know why you're doing it this way. However; you don't need to do it my way. Do it the way that you will ultimately do it in actual flying." Kit would be surprised by this; but obeys him and passes the test even better than Baloo does. Also of note: Ralph does say "minus five points" at one point; a prototype to "MINUS FIVE STARS~!" (probably the only time you'll hear that on a TaleSpin review.). That amused me.)
After the commercial break; we head to that island on the South Seas, Louie's as a yellow air taxi ("101" in black letters and a back propeller.) lands on the docks. The taxi opens as Baloo quickly gets out and then sulks away towards the inside. We hear Louie humming his usual Jamaican tune (also known as the "Scat Song I tried to translate in in For Whom The Bell Klangs; but I failed hard.") at the bar while wiping the counter as he notices Baloo sulking. Baloo sits down and admits that he has completely lost his confidence. Louie proclaims that he has come to the right place. Baloo hopes it's the case because Rebecca gave him a note to speak to him right in Louie's. Okay; now you know there is something up when Rebecca WANTS to be the same room as that crude matted bunch of fur. (Yeah; Baloo is so stupid that he believes that Rebecca and Louie would renconcile even though in A Touch Of Glass; they didn't exactly like each other in the end, thanks to Louie's gross kissing Rebecca. Boy; you just know Baloo's ego is gone after Ralph put him through the wringer.) Naturally we see Rebecca giggling under her breath with a party hat and the entire gang finally spring the surprise on him. It's the party version of PUNKED~! AHHAHAHAHAHA! Molly blows her party flavor right into Baloo's face for fun as Baloo asks if it's his birthday. (Molly doesn't speak here; but I did giggle when he got the party flavor in the face. It didn't hurt and Baloo wasn't in pain. It was at worst annoying and it was at best amusing to me at least.) Rebecca calls this a pepper-upper party. (Sadly; no actual peppers were harmed nor used during this party. A shame really...) Molly is the only one wearing a red crown so she's the queen of the party so to speak. Baloo sits Kit up on the counter as Kit wants to remind him about how to be a great pilot. Kit focuses on one of those Air Pirate attacks on the SeaDuck. Do you get the feeling this was Kit's idea? (Maybe; but Rebecca does have a vested interest in making sure Baloo does in fact get his pilot's license because as per Feminine Air, she cannot just find another pilot since the male pilots are bigger sexist douchebags than Baloo is. Much bigger I might add. Outside of Airplane Jane; there's isn't much in the pool.) Anyhow...
Anime Flashback #2: We head to the sky over Lhasa Apso as the SeaDuck are being chased by Air Pirates over a secret spicy recipe. The cargo of choice: The Doggy Lama's special spicy chicken recipe. Kit even gets in a KFC promo to further cement his awesomeness. (I just realized that in the TaleSpin world; Kentucky Fried Chicken is called Doggy Lama Chicken; or DLC. How can video games companies sleep at night and not notice how comical this sounds?!) Well; you got to do something inbetween trying to explain how awesome it is to have peace and how evil it is to have war. (I'm surprised that the chicken recipe wasn't called Sin Tzu; because that would have been funny. Ken and David's hack writing is showing up here: They had another joke in the joke gun; but they don't fire it because somehow, Ralph's joke has not been pounded into the ground at this point in their opinion. Sometimes; the "Just for kids" excuse is not enough; and this is a prime example of it. Heck; it took me ten seconds to comne up with the Sin Tzu joke.) The Air Pirates start to fire on the SeaDuck and one of the shot hits the SeaDuck panel; causing it to spark. (So if you are just keeping track, as of this writing, we are 31 for 38 in the guns being pulled out. Two more episodes are needed and that means there were guns in more than fifty percent of the episodes. Glorified gun culture? What glorified gun culture?) The animators are pretty on today which is good for them since it means that most of the spots are more on the contrived side then on the missed side. (Wang Films' work is often mixed to the point that either not using them altogether or cutting their bad teams loose is often a good idea.)
Trigun is around 0.4 at this point as the right side gets smoked; but manages to miss Kit by about two feet. I see BS&P stepped in. (Considering that this is a series that has had at least one moment where Kit is one inch away from getting shot in the head with a bullet; I don't see how two feet is an improvement, I really don't. Again; glorified gun culture? Whatever do you mean?) Kit wonders how Baloo is going to get out of this one? I still don't like Kit's easy defeat moment in that flashback; it's not like him. (Yeah; it's sounds fake.) However; Baloo has a plan as he has a secret hiding place. More dodging gunfire as Baloo does the Loop-De-Loop For Only Fifteen Cents and hides inside the volcano. Baloo makes a three point landing inside the volcano as it was an amazing feat for a pilot. I got to agree with Kit on that one. (And then they proceed to cook pizza inside a volcano causing Kit to do his superball in his ass moment in Pizza Pie In The Sky.) Baloo is slowly starting to recover but he's not there yet. Baloo calls it the Krakatoa Touchdown (I see Disney Captions stopped using Krakatou now.) which is a pretty cool name if I didn't work at Safe Communities. Otherwise; it does make me cringe slightly. (Well; I don't work for them anymore and a cracked toe is nothing compared to a boil in my asshole being infected.) That officially ends anime flashback number two and there is more to come as Louie starts to remember another moment while standing on the counter. EWWWWW!! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! (It's funny how this became a wailing call for bashing modern cartoons when TaleSpin was doing fart jokes even back in 1990. Heck; WildCat literally had poop all over his hands the first time he shakes Rebecca's hand in Plunder and Lightning Act II.) So, that logically leads to the next anime flashback:
Anime Flashback #3: We head to Itsty-Bitsya (Magon rules with the country names. It's a country in Zibaldo Island next to the place which the Pgymites captured Rebecca in The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink.) as Baloo and Louie are in the SeaDuck trying to take off; but Baloo is having trouble. Apparently; Baloo and Louie took something from the natives because here comes the Pgymites and there are hundreds of them. Man; did Baloo cause an international incident or what? (That seems to be a trend in these TaleSpin episodes; mostly with Thembria actually.) That's the second appearance for the Pgymites and there's one more to come soon. (Actually; it's Golden Sprocket Of Friendship; although that aired before The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink in syndication.) It's also the rainy season which I found kind of pointless; but that's details for ya. Oh wait; the pgymites needed the umbrellas and Louie wants them for Louie's. That's hardly a fair trade. (Yeah; and of course Wang Films cannot animate the rainy season properly; so they have no rain in this scene. Dumb!) The pgymites run like the wind and start attacking the SeaDuck with spears and the CHERRY BOMBS OF DOOM. (Which of course don't explode because BS&P rules.) Hey; Louie used the COCONUT BOMBS OF DEATH on the Iron Vulture in Ransom For The Red Chimp, so it's not out of the realm of possability in this show. (Concealed weapons in food is not as unbelievable as it might sound. It's actually James Bond-equse actually. I have read incidents of people putting razor blades in apples before even in this neck of the woods. Cherry bombs sound absurd; but cherry bullets aren't. Bombs in coconuts sounds believable actually.) Anyhow; Baloo pulls the lever (JESUS~!) and the SeaDuck goes backwards and then the SeaDuck twirls 180 degrees and flies off of here. (Yawn. I would have been more impressed if Baloo had flown up backwards and then flied away forward.) The Pgymites stop dead in their tracks and complain about it. Oh well; better luck next time. The flashback ends as we return to Louie's once again. Rebecca tries to boost his confidence further but WildCat decides to reveal Baloo's Pelican Dive; which gets a scolding from Rebecca because it is apparently not a proud moment for Baloo. WildCat thinks it is though (In his own dimwitted mind, of course.) and we head to:
Anime Flashback #4: We head over the ocean as the SeaDuck as the SeaDuck goes into a nosedive and dives into the sea as WildCat goes into a story about searching the ocean for the SeaDuck. Okay; that was pretty funny. Kit scolds him for that as Baloo blushes like an idiot which WildCat notices. (Someone stated that WildCat is like a drunk uncle who tells these kinds of stories in front of the dinner table; and this scene is a prime example of it.) Baloo states that the engine stalled as Rebecca reminds him that he can have an off day. Even though most of his off days are considered reasons to invoke the WRAITH OF BECKEY. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (I just love how Rebecca sucked up to Baloo there even though, if Baloo really had an off day, it was because he was doing his job properly and not screwing Rebecca over. Rebecca realizes that without Baloo; she doesn't have much left for her business. And that's even without the oil crisis subplot in play since much of her problem is intense sexism due to her position of power as owner. This is self-preservation on Rebecca; something Baloo does way too much, Kit does way too little and WildCat does just right.) Rebecca sucks up to Baloo and Baloo proclaims that he is ready to show that alphabetizing buffoon as he walks out as Rebecca cheers for him or Ralph's death depending on what mood I was in when doing this rant. Baloo then pops from the door and then asks for a lift since the air taxi hasn't come back for some reason. This is the best part of the episode without question because we have to deal with ABC guy again at some point and I can only hope that he is kept to a mininum. (It is to a point; but the joke is dead and it's time to mercy kill Ralph's gimmick completely. Of course; David and Ken need to pay off the joke somewhat, but no one will care about the payoff because the buildup sucked.) So we head back to FLAP as the SeaDuck flies from the docks and of course Ralph as Baloo tells Throggie not to worry because he will get it right this time. Well; he did fly out of the docks without screwing up so at least he's one step up in that department.
Ralph no sells as he continues to write on his clipboard in the navigator's chair. Baloo does his ABC promo and we climb in between the cliffs of Cape Suzette and Ralph does the Ron Tussien spot for fun on the seat. Baloo then peps up his touchdown in the volcano and his backwards takeoff which Ralph no sells all. After all; he saw the Pelican Dive and waterlogged the plane for a week. Well; at least he hasn't gone into his ABC promo. Yet. (Wait a second. How did he know about the failed Pelican Dive? I don't think he mentioned how he knew about it; unless the Pelican Dive was a move Baloo did with the car in the flashback. Again; by focusing on the stupid ABC joke; David and Ken ignore certain details that would make what they say make sense. They aren't thinking anymore at this point.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: The transcript says that KK/DW did in fact say that Ralph read about the incident somewhere; so Baloo's stupidity made it in newspapers. I didn't mention it in the previous scene so I will now: Baloo blamed the Pelican Dive failure on engine failure, thus once again refusing to blame himself for doing something stupid.) Then we hear a backfire (According to Disney Captions which is the funniest thing ever from Disney Captions considering the promo Baloo cut and Ralph's no sell. Kudos to them for a change.) and we see the left prop sparking and smoking as Baloo's confidence is going like that engine. (This is completely out of nowhere; but I suspect it's probably damage from the fire hydrant earlier. But that begs the question: If FLAP owns the SeaDuck during a expired license violation; wouldn't that be an actual consequence? It would have been a lot better if they simply explained that; but the writers were too busy pounding a once funny, twice all right, thrice unfunny joke. Again; this is where "It's for kids" thinking creates problems and you cannot afford that when Tiny Toons is the new comedy cartoon on the block. Maybe jettisoning Ken and David from the team and letting someone like Hinson and Uhley write those episodes instead would have done the show a better service than it already did. Maybe it would have gotten 100 episodes; who knows. Or not; considering that TaleSpin's contract was to end at 65 episode irregardless of success or failure. The show was designed as the fourth wheel to the previous DTVA shows and no more.)
Ralph notices that they are out of gas and we go to a nosedive as Baloo calls him out on the promo since F is for flap adapter in which Ralph calls him names. (How stupid can you be to not check the fuel gauge first over the flap adaptor? Worse; how stupid can you be to not remember to fill up the gas tank beforehand? It's things like this where I cannot feel sorry for Baloo anymore. Ralph's joke is annoying; but it's only annoying because he uses it too much.) Baloo cuts him off and wants him to call him a moron as they nosedive some more and bounce on the water and stop on the beach. (Sure, Baloo is a moron; but Ralph is acting like a jackass heel who deserves to be fired from his job.) (Ralph doesn't deserve to be fired from this job. I'm guessing that he was fired from Driver's Ed despite the fact that Ralph didn't do anything to deserve it either. I'm sorry; but unless Baloo takes some personal responability for his own actions; then I have to side with Ralph on everything.) Baloo swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE as he thought that pelican dive would have been perfect if it wasn't for the lack of gas. (Once again; he blames an object; but refuses to blame himself for causing the lack of gas.) We see Ralph opening the door, the place is desolate, there's nothing but trees, then we see the palm trees and a lot of metal oil barrels. Baloo talks about the bear necessities and runs in to take one of the barrels. However; he notices that the barrel is empty. Funny that TaleSpin only uses a few references to Jungle Book just to make Baloo make sense (That sounds like you are trying to avoid the word "relate" there 2010 Me. Just as well; that word is so stupid in this context.) and yet Jungle Book 2 used it to prop up a weak story and to hide the weaknesses in ad promos. (Jungle Book 2 is not overly bad; it's just ineffective as a story. That being said, that movie made the most money under the Disneytoons license; so the sequel was in fact a big success, all things considered. Nowhere near Zootopia's numbers; but eh...)
That's why people laud TaleSpin and hate Jungle Book 2; Jungle Cubs and really aren't fans of the Disney version of Jungle Book since the WB and Japanese version of the same production were a lot more kick ass. (Disney isn't really ultra-conservative even back then (considering how messed up Walt ultimately was); but they aren't all that loose either. Nintendo was much tighter than Disney was at the time this was released. I think the reason why Jungle Book anime and Warner Brothers was better because the main storyline character is Mowgli; and he kicked ass and felt real and believable as a character. In the Disney version; Baloo was the one people liked; but the main character is Mowgli and he's boring as hell. In TaleSpin; Baloo was the main character, and despite his scumbag traits; he's not boring. Kit is much more exciting than him; but he isn't the one selling toys for Disney. Which is the biggest tragedy in all this because if kids are your main audience, then Kit and Molly should have been pushed to the moon like they would have been today. When booked right; they would have toy sellers even the most harden parent could be proud of.) I'm just pointing that out. Baloo notices the jungle, it's time to make like Hansel and Gretel and explore to see if there is one barrel still full. They walk into the jungle and pull over the grass as Ralph looks and Baloo pushes him down and tells him to be quiet since there are Air Pirates guarding a camp of oil barrels. I see Sadie and one of the pirates from Ransom Of The Red Chimp on the pan shot and that ends the segment almost seventeen minutes in. Hey; Ralph doesn't sound so annoying when he isn't doing his ONE JOKE! ONE JOKE! ONE JOKE! (You wish you were Scott Keith channeling Jim Ross there 2010 Me.) You know which one. (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I think Ralph is perfectly fine in his role; it's Baloo's attitude that rubs me the wrong away.)
After the commercial break; we see Baloo and Ralph hiding in the grass as we hear a plane engine overhead and he thinks it's Air Pirates. However; we look into the sky BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) to see Khan's Yes-Man parachuting from a Khan plane with a blue parachute and matching goggles.He's struggling around as Don Karnage is cleaning his sword and demanding answers to this outrage. Khan's Yes-Man stammers and then reveals a telegram from Shere Khan. I know Sam Horta Editorial is doing the sound effects because the Hanna Barbara teeth chattering sound effect is in full effect here. Don seems giddy about telegrams; but Yes-Man disappoints him because it's a regular green wrap telegram see. (Okay; here's a stupid moment that wouldn't have happened if someone other than Ken Koonce and David Weimers were story editing: Don asks if the telegram is for him. Yes-Man says "No; it's a regular green wrap telegram." Problem #1: The telegram is colored white; but that a minor issue. Problem #2: Shere Khan in this episode said outright that it was for Don Karnage. So you cannot pretend that it wasn't. My theory is that Don Karnage was supposed to ask: "Is it a singing telegram?" in addition to asking if it's for him; because that would make more sense to Yes-Man's response to it. I did the transcript and that moment leaped out in front of me. How in the hell do you not notice that mistake? Oh, I know; the writers are story editing their own material and didn't think they can be wrong. You wonder why Mark Lungo thinks they are hack writers? This is stupider than driving a joke into the ground; because at least the joke made sense and it was booked in such a way that I can feel bad for Ralph at least. Plus, the finish they ultimately booked worked. But it's things like this that drive audiences to other shows.) Don goes into his awesomeness stance because he is Don Karnage: Pirate Extraordinaire and refuses anything other than a singing telegram. (What an awesome dick heel Don Karnage is?! Asking for the singing telegram just to troll a Yes-Man is so hilarious to see.)
Disney Captions misses the “Roll The R” part in between his name and pirate extraordinaire. Like I said before; does Disney Captions HATE deaf people or something?! Yes-Man stammers on that one because his singing is worse than William Hung's. Okay; maybe not, but he admits that he cannot sing anyway. Besides; it doesn't violate ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 (It doesn't rhyme and rhyming is COOL! (Nowadays; watching anime purists bend over backwards explaining stuff that can easily be explained by saying: "That's not what happened in the Japanese version." is beyond comical to the point that I almost feel bad for English dubs, even the worst of the worst.)); and Don Karnage gets bitter and plucks his REGAL CUTLASS to force the point against Yes-Man's throat. I wonder if Toon Disney snipped that one out or not? (Yes, they did actually cut the sword pointing in this scene. The DVD version kept the sword pointing of course.) We then cut back to the grass with Baloo seeing his opening as he walks stage left. Yes-Man starts singing and good lord that is really good singing. I knew Yes-Man was a damn liar. Then again; Jim Cummings is voicing him here; so the good singing makes sense here. (Basically; Jim Cummings is singing to himself to amuse himself; but at least the amusement is shared by the audience so I'm fine with it. Yes-Man's singing voice sounds like Mikey's (From Recess) singing voice even though that should be impossible given that Jim Cummings is the one singing and not Robert Goulet singing. If I find out that Robert Goulet was involved in this show; then that would be funny. He isn't.) It's now officially AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Baloo steals an oil barrel with Ralph in tow as Yes-Man's singing continues to be over the top. Everyone claps in unison including Don Karnage as Yes-Man sings fantastically! (Well, fantasic in the sense that his singing is hilariously bad; which it is suppose to be.) Well; Jim voices both Don and Yes-Man so he's basically clapping at himself. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! I see the C-team Air Pirates are here. (Sadie, Mad Dog and mostly unnamed pirates. No Dumptruck nor Gibber, which makes sense since Chuck McCann isn't doing voice work in this episode.)
Baloo then gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as he tries to roll the oil barrel while realizing that Khan is creating his own gas shortage. It's hilarious that this show condemns blind capitalism while a year or so ago; Rescue Rangers literally had Shell gasoline ads in Shell Shocked. No wonder parent groups got so mad. Personally; I like parodies of companies over the real thing because you can get it past FCC regulations without too many problems and most people would still know what you are referencing and think it's funny. (Brilliant! Yes; this means that we have to have parody names like McHappy's in the Blast Corps comic among other dumb booking names; but at least it's fitting in this world where it's not supposed to be the real world. It does make the whole "American flag" spot seem fake and unbelievable.) Ralph gets on his case on the rolling and does the ABC promo again just to annoy me. Wow; it took two and a half minutes for him to get annoying; a new record. Sadly; Baloo bends his knees, the barrel rolls down the hill and both babyfaces are so BUSTED~! Then we hear Mad Dog (finally) point out the obvious for us. (This is where the jackhammering the point home becomes a liability: The writers kept going to the well once too often on something so trivial; it turns Ralph unlikable. This is the sort of crap we see in modern cartoons all the time and it wasn't funny now and wasn't funny here. Had they refrained from the joke when Baloo was struggling to keep jobs; and just have Baloo screw up on his own; then the joke would have been more apporos since they didn't blow their load on a short shelf life joke. This is the kind of writing that has killed the creditability of Ken Koonce and David Weimers, who used to be good writers. Sure; they weren't outstanding or anything; but they were solid hands. Now with Libby Hinson, Jan Strnad and Len Uhley showing their chops in writing; it's really exposing Ken and David as bad writers now. Plus; I think they enabled Jeremy Cushner's writing skills as well, if Your Baloo's In The Mail is any indication, where they pounded a short shelf joke like the slow joke into the ground even harder than the ABC joke. This is also why you don't let yourself edit your own stories; because you get stuff like this. Thank goodness that the joke is the only thing weighing down this episode; because the animation is fine and the plot itself is believable enough to be good.)
We see Baloo and Ralph running as the Air Pirates shoot to kill with their pistols. Baloo orders Ralph to get in while he fills the tank. We get a shot of the Pirates being mad and shooting crazy and then we jump cut to Baloo filling the tank with gasoline from the oil barrel. (A jump cut? In TaleSpin? As Molly would say: That's impossible.) We then get a shot of the cockpit as Ralph has taken the pilot seat. Baloo calls him out on it; but Ralph reminds him that he lost his pilot license due to expiration and that he's a licensed pilot. At this point; I would let Ralph fly and give him the rope to hang himself as a result. Ralph cuts the ABC promo on checking everything as the pirates shoot and Baloo takes the pilot stick since it's G for go as the SeaDuck flies backwards. Memo to Baloo: Just let Ralph hang himself already so your actions would be justified. (This only works if you aren't risking being hung yourself and not in a metaphor-equse sense.) The SeaDuck flies into the air as Don Karnage and the pirates stand on the sand. Don orders the men to their planes and so we head into the skies. Ralph calls this a text-book perfect takeoff. Baloo looks from the navigator's chair as the Air Pirates fly from behind. Baloo asks Ralph about a text-book perfect dogfight. The Air Pirates strike as Ralph realizes that there's nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING about dogfighting in the flight manual. Like I said; give him enough rope and he'll hang himself. We see the Air Pirates shooting and flying above in twist motions; but little else as we are up to 0.8 Trigun and Baloo chuckles because HE wrote the book on dogfighting. (Boy; did he ever in this world. Surprised it didn't sell all that well. I guess flight overtakes fight anyday of the week in furry land.) So, it's his fault that Michael Vick is a criminal then! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... (Nice try 2010 Me! The whole Michael Vick cruelty to animals era died as quickly as it came. The NFL forgave him and then he faded into obscurity because Vick wasn't good enough to be anything in the NFL outside of his quirks as a running back pretending to be a quarterback.) Ralph is screwed stiff as he panics with nice animation from Wang.
The pirates fire right in front of him and we get a long sequence of white streaks (Wang's style is red flashes, yellow flashes and then white flashes from the guns. So it's basically any style they feel like it. You would be forgiven if this episode was animated by Walt Disney Japan, Sunwoo and Wang Films at this point all in twenty-two minutes.)) as the SeaDuck is being made of Swiss cheese at this point. We are above 1.0 Trigun now. Ralph just panics with the ABC promo as none of his promos are working and he cannot even think about what B does. (Once again; the interjection six shooter has backfired on another victim. When are writers going to realize that moderation does not mean boring? Probably never as long as it pounded into our heads that kids are one trick parasites and only want comedy. Which is hilarious considering that many of the most successful productions for adults are also comedies. So basically; using the "just for kids" excuse in cartoons is becoming a self-portrait form of projection.) Baloo inxaies number two, B is for Baloo as Baloo pushes Ralph and squashes him against the window as he has to save everything with or without the license. Ralph does a nice touch by crawling on Baloo's back on the way to the navigator's seat. Don Karnage is done once again as Baloo decides to attempt the pelican nose dive. Don Karnage is even confused with the situation as they decide to nosedive with him. Goodbye hope chest as Ralph yells at Baloo to stop but Baloo gives him nothing because that was the mistake he made last time. (Despite David and Ken's joke pounding; they did a great job building up and paying off the Pelican Dive and turning it into something good. This makes the episode stay above average in my opinion.) He gives it more throttle and does a simple hyerbole to fly up just when Ralph is insulting Baloo once again as he wanted less throttle (Which was the mistake last time so, says Baloo...Wow; that's the first time he admited a mistake, sort of...). The Air Pirates cannot pull up in time and they are sunk into the ocean. That causes a complete 180 on Ralph's part and he's impressed with the move.
Okay; that was pretty contrived as Baloo finally explains what he did wrong. (Here's the finish everyone: Baloo finally admits that he did something wrong by explaining that he cut the throttle and that caused the engine to stall. Guess what happened: Ralph rightfully calls out Baloo for scaring him; but then praises him. Why? Not just because the flying was awesome, but because Baloo admitted that he was wrong about something. That means, he's not someone who thinks it's never his fault. That's perfect and the booking for this was great. You know what; after watching this again and taking much better notes; the writing was also better than I thought. Not to say that KK/DW don't deserve some of the flack they usually get; but I think people who criticize them are hyperboling like I did in the March version of this re-rant.) Ralph then attacks Baloo for scaring him out of his wits (WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU RALPH? (Actually; this is a perfect response because if Baloo had failed the dive again; they probably would be dead by either drowning or shot to death. I think 2010 Me hates Baloo so much at this point; even though Baloo's actions were the only way out. The high risk of performing the move outweighed the much higher risk of death and/or torture by the Air Pirates. Sometimes, decisions in life can suck.)); but finally decides to stop the charade and admit that he was impressed with his flying. (I don't think it was a charade; I would be pissed off by this recklessness too.) Ralph calls Baloo an A-pilot which makes Baloo blush. I got a hand to Ralph; he did the right thing and like Ed Pomeroy and he didn't pout over it too. Still; that sequence was pretty forced in my book because Ralph never apologized for creating such confusion in the first place. (He doesn't have to because Baloo's the one who was at fault. The second he admitted that he can be wrong and not blame his actions on others; Ralph praised him.) Ed Pomeroy showed true concern for his students while Ralph showed more contempt and looked like he was intentionally trying to get Baloo into trouble. (Not on purpose mind you; which is an important key. This is not a Recess heel; this is a guy who takes full advantage of the "customer is always right" rule. You are not automatically a heel when you do that. Heck; if you want Ralph to apologize; have him apologize for cracking under pressure like Baloo did throughout this episode, pretty much on his own terms, like Baloo; when Ralph was dogfighting againest the Air Pirates.)
While Ralph is still better than Miss Finster by a long shot; this character design is not a good one to show in a cartoon where Ralph is a babyface who acts like an annoying heel. If Ralph was a cool heel and Baloo was more over as a babyface; this would have worked better. (That is a problem; however, the important thing is that Ralph was impressed by Baloo's flying and Baloo passed the test. Personally; I agree that Ralph should have also apologized for the ABC joke because then Ralph would have grown as a character. Problem is; he's a one shot character and David and Ken figured that he would never be used again. I think it's lazy and not really excusable when there are at least three other writers using characters like real characters who feel like they are going to be back in the regular rotation.) Baloo and Ralph fly back to Cape Suzette to get his license renewed and Baloo brings up the subject of Drivers Education. Nice to see Baloo asserting himself there too as they fly back as Baloo wants to talk about driver's ed. (Sadly; they would never talk about his license concerning a car ever again.) We head to morning to a sky shot of the docks as Rebecca, Louie, Kit and WildCat wave to the SeaDuck coming in on the side window shot. Rebecca asks what happened and Baloo shows his new pilot's license as he passed with flying colors. The babyfaces cheer in response with Kit doing the best one of course. Baloo then walks on the right wing (Like the police officer did at the beginning of the episode for a nice touch.) as he tells them the reason for the gas shortage. Rebecca is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) and wants something done. Baloo proclaims that it's already done as he climbs down as the air police is on the case right now. Baloo hopes that Khan takes it well. Sadly; the answer is no as Khan scratches the armchair with his claws as we return to his office. (I just love the metaphor non-verbal cue of Khan being mad that his armchair analysis of the situation was defeated by Baloo's flying skills. Those arm rests are getting a fate worse than having their asses chapped, that is for sure.) He orders Yes-Man to take another telegram to Don Karnage. Yes-Man asks if it's a singing telegram and we see a shot of the filings dropping near Khan's feet as this will not be a singing telegram this time around.
We head to the oil stealing camp as Don Karnage and his men are in their CT-37's on the ground. (Don Karnage's CT-37 looked unfinished by the way; and so does the one in the background. So Phineas & Ferb isn't the only show that does this stupidity. Wang Film's coloring mistakes in this episode are so obvious that it isn't funny anymore.) Don orders his men that it's time to take their leave before the air police arrive. (So apparently; they are inside Uslandan waters being on that island. That is really stupid of them. How they didn't get spotted earlier is another matter. Furthermore; if international waters don't matter; then why hasn't anyone found Pirate Island yet? Other than Baloo and Kit? I think the comics addressed that (Nope, they didn't. At least, not the comic books I have reviewed.); but still.) Don then hears a plane engine and looks up as Yes-Man is floating down proclaiming that he has a telegram for Don Karnage. Yes-Man lands on the front of Don's plane and Don is giddy as he wants Yes-Man to sing the telegram again. Sadly; Yes-Man disappoints him; but assures him that this one is special. UH OH! Since BS&P wasn't so overbearing in 1990 as they are now; I think you can guess what the telegram is. (It depends. In some cases like fart jokes, sexual content and nosebleeds; they have been extremely loose. In terms of guns, explosives and violence; much tighter now. (To be fair; Japanese animation is getting more tighter in terms of content as well.) In terms of bigotry: It's more or less the same; only the targets are different this time around.) Don takes the telegram to his ear as it's ticking and he is so much a sadist that he gets giddy at the obvious letter bomb Khan sends him.
Yes-Man tells him it's not exactly an alarm clock or a watch as Yes-Man plugs his eyes and ears. Don opens the letter, we go to a far shot of the island and we get the big ass explosion which looks like a test for an atomic bomb. Ooooooooooo... Like I said; surprised that this episode got black listed after 9/11? (Yes folks; Khan turns on Don Karnage by giving him a bomb disguised as a telegram. So James Bond-equse of you Khan. Damn; TaleSpin had a lot of explosions in this show. This one isn't as cringeworthy as Baloo blowing up his own gas station because Khan is a tweener; and Khan sometimes loves to monster heel it up when things don't go his way. Still; it's things like this that prove that Disney isn't nearly as squeaky clean as people think it is. Even in 1990. Even now.) Yeap; we end the episode right there at 21:21. Better than I expected; although Ralph is still annoying when he's doing his one joke. However; this shows that having two plotlines to mask one annoying joke was a good idea. Too bad Kick Buttowski is too short to learn that little lesson . (I'm calling it *** for this one; mostly because of pounding the joke into the ground. Don Karnage and the party made up for the bad ABC joke though; but little things missing prevented a higher rating.) (April 2016 Gregory Weagle Says: I'm sorry 2016 Me; but your rating is based on what you saw in the rant; which was cut and pasted from the 2005 rant and this episode is actually *** 1/2 (70%). Ken Koonce and David Weimers made some rookie mistakes; but that can be blamed on the fact that they were trusted to story edit their own writing which is 80% of the time a really bad idea (unless you are Mark Zaslove of course, then all bets are off.) ; and it really shows in The Time Bandit later on. The booking for this is solid, the animation was solid (minus the coloring mistakes of course) and Ralph was actually fine as a character in spite of the one joke.)
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I'll give Ken Koonce and David Weimers credit; they wrote a really solid episode with a few logic breaks and few animation errors. I also give them credit for their writing on the “gasoline shortage” due to the relevance and the fact that Don Karnage did well in Act 3. Even Shere Khan's attempt to act emotional was pretty funny (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Because it's the kind of empathy that a garbage CEOhole would deliver and Tony Jay's performance was dead on as a result.) . However; much of the story was built around the Fred Flintstone joke of Baloo Vs. Ralph. (It really hurt the episode as a whole because...) Ralph is pretty good when he's not acting like a bothersome piss ant and annoying me out of existence with his ABC joke. However; the joke got pounded into the ground too much in the middle and it nearly cause the episode to go below average. Thank goodness for the boosting confidence party the babyfaces had because that was pretty good to watch and it also gives some false hope at least that some of these stories would have become episodes in canon. (Another example of what happens when you write stuff before thinking about the consequences.) As I said; Ralph is otherwise, a cruel guy and I didn't like the lack of apology for screwing up Baloo in the process in spite of the tease Baloo gave on Drivers' Ed near the end. (Again; this is what happens when you don't think your scripts through and think former kids like me wouldn't notice. That also applies to 2010 me; who has forgotten that Ralph is just a guy who takes advantage of the "customers is always right" rule, Baloo cannot handle him under pressure and then blames Ralph for his own moronic, defective thinking. Ken Koonce and David Weimers' creditability will soon die completely with The Time Bandit. Bearly Alive was far worse for them then this episode was.)
Kit and Rebecca were themselves as usual along with WildCat and Louie. Molly did only one (albeit cute) spot; but didn't speak. In the end; this was an okay episode; but Ken Koonce and David Weimers are getting exposed more and more and their next piece "The Time Bandit" will be their Waterloo as they self-stole an episode from Ducktales and made everyone believe that TaleSpin was awful. The saddest part is that Time Bandit was better than Allowance Day ever was; but the fact that they stole from their own episode from another series in historical context pretty much made TaleSpin jump the shark. (Actually; after years of looking at earlier scripts and such; stealing their own material is the least of their crimes. You cannot steal your own material; you rehash it. Besides; the biggest problem with The Time Bandit is that Rebecca got slotted into the innocent victim who got screwed by the Thembrians for a cruel joke. Plus; Baloo unintentionally grabbed Broadcast Sally's ass at the end. It was so sexist that it hurt the reputation of TaleSpin far more than stealing the Ducktales material. Many episodes in cartoons are rehashes from another episodes from other series. The trick is if the rehash is better than the previous rehash. The results are mixed; but it's far from impossible and only old farts would claim otherwise. The sexism in Time Bandit did a lot more lasting damage than the copycatting.) However; the next episode is A Star Is Torn which is Dev Ross' only contribution to the show along with Tress MacNeille and the later Robert Ridgley. (And of course; this episode is next on the transcript and re-rant additional commentary list.) So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you next time.
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