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The Time Bandit Transcript

Written: 08/06/2016
Updated: 11/03/2021


Act I

Scene I

(Shot of Louie's as we zoom in and head to the island counter with Louie sitting on a stool with Baloo and Kit at the counter.)

Louie L'Amour: Hey, cuz; you've got to be here tomorrow night. It's Louie's first annual Carman Merengue Night. Admission's only five bucks. And that includes fine food, fancy friends and all the fruit you can pile on your fuzzy head. (Louie takes a basket of fruit and juggles.)

Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Heh heh heh. Sounds coco-nuts. Count me in! (Kit is not happy.)

Kit Cloudkicker: Count you out, Baloo! You lost all your money at the Tortuga Turtle Toss.

Baloo: Aw, don't worry. I'll just sweet-talk sweet Becky into giving me an advance on my pay. No problem.

Scene II

(At the docks of Higher For Hire as Kit is propped against a wall playing with a yo-yo. Baloo and Rebecca are arguing at each other as Baloo is backed out of the office.)

Rebecca Cunningham: Are you coconuts?! Today is Thursday and payday is not till Saturday. The answer is no! (The office door is closed.)

Kit: No problem, huh? (Jump cut to Baloo and Kit walking on the docks.) Well, I guess you can kiss Louie's party goodbye.

Baloo: Says who? Baloo never misses a party!

Kit: But Miss Cunningham said no.

Baloo: Kiddo, when are you gonna learn? No doesn't mean no.

Kit: What does it mean?

Baloo: It means you gotta cut a corner. Beg a favor. Beat the system.

Scene III

(Head to a radio building called K-CAPE Radio as we head inside with the hippo furry from Time Waits For No Bear broadcasting in the radio room.)

Broadcast Sally: That was Roseberry Clooney singing "These Tears Aren't For You, I'm Just Peelin' Onions." (The radio broadcaster throws a record away as we see Kit and Baloo watching on as Kit notices the record flying away.) You're listening to K-CAPE Radio with Broadcast Sally. (Disney Captions missed her name and the name of the radio.)

Baloo: (Whispering to Kit.) Watch a pro at work.

Sally: Oh...So, Baloo; what brings you here? (Sally sprays herself and then turns towards Baloo.) Another favor?

Baloo: Oh, Sally; how can you say that? When was the last time I asked a favor?

Sally: Hmmmm...Last Monday.

Baloo: Eh, besides then.

Sally: Ah, Wednesday before that. (Sally looks at her calender on a chalkboard inside the room.) Then the Tuesday before that. Then there was the big favor two weeks ago Thursday. (Baloo rips the page off the calender.)

Baloo: All right already. I need another one. A Saturday show broadcast on Friday morning. (Baloo throws the paper away.)

Sally: And what favor do I get in return? (Baloo pulls on his shirt collar.)

Baloo: Well, let me see. I'll let you do my laundry.

Sally: Ha! Think again.

Baloo: I-I'll do your laundry?

Sally: No.

Baloo: Take you on a plane ride?

Sally: Getting warmer.

Baloo: A... (Gulp.) date? (Sally grabs onto Baloo's shirt.)

Sally: Got yourself a favor.

Kit: Watch a pro, huh?

Scene IV

(Cut to Rebecca's apartment after dark as Baloo and Kit walk towards the elevator. Head up to the hallway where Rebecca's apartment is and the elevator door opens to reveal Baloo and Kit going over to Rebecca's door.)

Baloo: Now remember, Kit; we have to change all of Rebecca's calenders to Saturday. (Baloo uses a screwdriver to pick lock the door open.)

Kit: Baloo, I don't think we should.

Baloo: Aw, don't be such a spoilsport, kiddo. It's just a little joke. (Baloo and Kit tiptoe in as Baloo rips off the calender page to Saturday. Baloo tiptoes into Rebecca's room. Rebecca tosses a bit sighing before Baloo flips the page of the calender on her coffee table with the lamp. Baloo's teeth chatter as he walks out with Kit out of the apartment.) And now, for the last touch. A special Saturday edition I had made up. (Baloo brings out a newspaper he forged (by putting a piece of paper over the Friday part replaced with Saturday glued to the first page.) and puts it on the ground in front of the door.)

Scene V

(Head inside Rebecca's room as Rebecca (wearing a cyan blue night gown) is sleeping as the twist key alarm clock rings. Rebecca wakes up as the gown changes to white with pink trim. Rebecca yawns and then notices the calender is on a Saturday. Jump cut to Rebecca walking into the living room putting her purple robe on and going over to her desk to notice that it's Saturday on her note book. Rebecca is pondering this over as she goes over to the front door and opens it. She finds the newspaper and grabs it to read it.)

Rebecca: Saturday?! (Rebecca goes over to the radio and turns it on.)

Sally: (On the radio as Rebecca is in the kitchen at the table drinking coffee and having breakfest while reading the newspaper.) Can you believe it's Saturday already? Where did Friday go? If time flies any faster, I'll need jet lag pills. (Rebecca is not exactly buying this.)

Scene VI

(Head to the docks of Higher For Hire as Baloo is in his hammock while Kit is propped against the wall playing with his yo-yo. In comes Rebecca.)

Baloo: Now, here comes Becky. Keep your fingers crossed, Li'l Britches. Morning, Becky.

Rebecca: Morning, Baloo. What day is it?

Baloo: Why, Saturday. And a fine one at that.

Rebecca: Are you sure? Wasn't yesterday, Thurday?

Baloo: Oh, I get it. Trying to kid your way out of payday.

Rebecca: It's payday already? (The yo-yo somehow bonks Kit in the face in the process.)

Scene VII

(Head to the office as Rebecca goes to a wall safe near her desk and opens it. Baloo is standing at the desk as Rebecca goes over with the money and Baloo takes it.)

Baloo: Well, I hate to take the loot and scoot, but ummm... (Baloo is about to leave as Rebecca stops him.)

Rebecca: Baloo, did you deliver those telescopes to Myopia yesterday? (The dollar bills turn white on the next shot.)

Baloo: Yesterday? I thought they weren't due till Friday.

Rebecca: Yesterday was Friday. They were supposed to be delivered in time for the arrival of Cleanser's Comet. (Rebecca backs Baloo out of the office.) And the chinchilla earmuffs that were supposed to go to Thembria? (Rebecca folds her arms.)

Baloo: I wassss...about to get to it.

Rebecca: What?! I'm docking your pay. (Rebecca grabs back the money which is green again.)

Baloo: Now, Becky; I can explain.

Rebecca: Are you up to something?

Baloo: Okay, I confess. It's not Saturday. I'm just pulling a practical joke to push up payday.

Rebecca: That's the louiest, lamest excuse I've ever heard. Of course, it's Saturday. How much evidence do you need? Now you've got two days' worth of deliveries to make. We don't have time to waste!

Baloo: We?! You're going, too?!

Rebecca: Somebody's got to apologize to Thembria for your mistakes. If I leave it to you, who knows what you'll tell them!

Baloo: (To Kit.) I know, I know. You told me so.

Scene VIII

(Head to Thembria with a shot of the High Marshall golden statue in the middle of town and then pan over to the Capital Building. Head inside a room as Sergeant Dunder is stamping a mountain of paper with F's. We see Colonel Spigot is at the front of the desk, but since the camera is from Dunder's point of view, we can't really see him.)

Colonel Ivanhov Spigot: Sergeant Dunder?! Watch the radar screen for me.

Sergeant Dunder: Yes, Colonel Spigot, sir. (In comes Colonel Spigot checking his watch. Spigot runs up a ladder to the top of a lot of filing cabinets towards a radio. Spigot turns the radio on and there's static noise. Spigot shakes the radio and then jump cuts to Spigot with the radio at Dunder's desk.)

Colonel Spigot: Who's to blame for this broken radio?!

Sergeant Dunder: Why? Is Broadcast Sally on?

Colonel Spigot: Sergeant Dunder! Need I remind you we Thembrians are only allowed to listen to state programs?! Broadcast Sally from Cape Suzette is illegal! Against the law.

Sergeant Dunder: I know, sir. And I never miss a chance not to listen to her, too. (Spigot is flustered and twists the knob which makes the radio work. This radio also has two off buttons. Spigot yawns.)

Sally: And that was Chester Grizzly's latest platter; "My Love Crash Landed On The Runway To Your Heart". Coming up next on this beautiful Saturday morning...

Colonel Spigot: Saturday?! Sergeant Dunder, what day are you stamping on those papers?

Sergeant Dunder: Friday, sir.

Colonel Spigot: And why do you think it's Friday?

Sergeant Dunder: 'Cause yesterday was Thursday.

Colonel Spigot: Actually, I could have sworn yesterday was Thursday, too. Why does Broadcast Sally say Saturday? (Spigot is pacing around.)

Sergeant Dunder: Maybe it's a mistake...

Colonel Spigot: No! This is a plot by those capitalist swine in Cape Suzette! They're trying to be a day ahead of us. (Spigot walks out of the office.)

Sergeant Dunder: Where are you going, ah; sir?

Colonel Spigot: To show those "Creeps Suzette" they have nothing to fear...but Spigot himself. (Spigot slams the door as Dunder is stunned. We head outside as we hear Spigot's footsteps while we pan at the shot of the Capital Building. Head inside a room as the High Marshall is sitting in a high barber's chair with his aide from A Spy In The Ointment cutting the High Marshall's hair. Spigot storms in.) I must speak to you at once, High Marshall!

High Marshall: What is it, Faucet?!

Colonel Spigot: Spigot, oh, mighty mucky muck, Spigot.

High Marshall: Are you contradicting the state? (The barber chair comes down.)

Colonel Spigot: Oh, never, your potent-ness. I'll change my name at once. (Spigot backs up.) Wait, I didn't come in here for this. I recommend we declare war, you High Marshallness! (Spigot salutes him.)

High Marshall: Oh, and why is that?! (The aide continues to cut the High Marshall's hair as High Marshall pushes the chair up beyond the aide's reach.)

Colonel Spigot: Because those Cape Suzette swine have declared today, Saturday! Everyone knows today is Friday. People's payday! Day of Cleanser's Comet! (The aide gets back on the stool to trim the eyebrows.)

High Marshall: Ahhhhh, this makes me furious! (The High Marshall's chair comes down.)

Colonel Spigot: I knew it would. Let's nip it in the bud. If we give them a day, they'll take a week! It's war!

High Marshall: No, I'm furious we didn't think of it first. I say we declare today Saturday, too. (The aide comes down from it's stool and then gets smacked in the face by the High Marshall.)

Colonel Spigot: What?! But what about the Cleanser Comet? It's due today! If the people see it, they'll know it's really Friday.

High Marshall: It's overcast. Has been for three years. No one will see it.

Colonel Spigot: But-but, what about the people's pay cheques?

High Marshall: If the people don't show up on payday, that's their fault.

Colonel Spigot: No pay cheques?! But what if the people protest?!

High Marshall: Tell them it's your fault.

Colonel Spigot: Eh-eh, my fault?! Yes, sir. Good idea, sir? (Spigot hops off causing the barber chair to spin around with the High Marshall and the aide.) Right away, oh, mighty mucky muck. (Spigot leaves the room as the chair stops and it looks like the aide is about to kiss the High Marshall. Head back to Dunder stamping F's on the papers at his desk as Spigot returns.) Sergeant Dunder! Today is Saturday, and it's all your fault!

Sergeant Dunder: Yes, sir. I knew it would be, sir.

Colonel Spigot: Begin the paperwork while I make the official announcement. (Colonel Spigot walks over to his desk with the giant microphone.) Attention, all Thembrians. This is Colonel Spigot. Prehaps you heard of me. {We see an shot of the intercom speakers outside with broken windows everywhere. We get moaning outside on the far shot with the Thembrian castaway, a black cat and some chickens at a place called Storsky.} Today is officially Saturday. {We pan northwest to the long still animation lineup of Thembrians.} Anyone who disagrees will be sent to prison. Anyone who complains will do hard labor. Anyone who sneers will be shot. Have a nice day. {Cut to a radar beeping back inside Spigot and Dunder's office.}

Sergeant Dunder: Unidentified whatsit flying on the screen, Colonel Spigot. (Spigot twirls his chair and walks over to the radar as we see it rotating and there is a white dot in the northwest area beeping. Spigot goes over to the giant microphone.)

Colonel Spigot: Halt! Who flies there?!

Baloo: Well, happy howdy to you, too. (Cut to the SeaDuck flying in the skies and then head into the cockpit with Baloo flying with transmitter in hand, Kit in the navigator's chair and Rebecca in between them.) This here's Baloo with Higher For Hire. Now who might you be?

Colonel Spigot: Colonel Spigot! Perhaps you've heard of me.

Baloo: Not that I recollect, Spiggy.

Colonel Spigot: Heh, never mind. Just state your purpose.

Baloo: We're supposed to deliver a crate of chinchilla earmuffs to Thembria. (Dunder comes over to the radio with the earmuff bill and date on it.)

Colonel Spigot: That delivery was due yesterday, Friday.

Baloo: Today is Friday.

Colonel Spigot: Wrong, flyboy. Today is Saturday.

Baloo: Friday!

Colonel Spigot: Saturday!

Baloo: Friday!

Colonel Spigot: Saturday!

Baloo: Friday!

Colonel Spigot: Saturday!

Rebecca: Enough! Give it up, Baloo!

Colonel Spigot: Return to Cape Suzette at once and apply for a Saturday passport. (Rebecca gets in Baloo's face.)

Rebecca: Not so fast, Baloo. I promised I'd deliver these earmuffs and Higher For Hire always delivers. Keep going.

Colonel Spigot: No. Turn around! (We see the SeaDuck going around in circles and then figure eights now.)

Rebecca: Keep going!

Colonel Spigot: Turn around!

Rebecca: Go!

Colonel Spigot: Turn!

Rebecca: Go!

Colonel Spigot: Turn!

Baloo: Swing your partner, doe-si-doe.

Colonel Spigot: You leave me no choice! Have the Glorious People's Air Force shoot down that plane at once!

Sergeant Dunder: Can't. All the Glorious People's ammunition is on the back order, sir.

Colonel Spigot: Surely, there must be something we can shoot.

Scene IX

(Head to the cockpit facing from the nose of the SeaDuck flying over cloudy skies in Thembria.)

Kit: Careful, Baloo. Bathtubs at two o'clock!

Rebecca: Bathtubs? What are you talking about? (Rebecca looks out of the window as we see bath tubs flying at the SeaDuck.)

Baloo: It's a tub attack! (Cut to the ground with Spigot and two Thembrian guards near catapults. They duck as the SeaDuck finally lands on the snow. The pilot's door opens and out comes Baloo.)

Colonel Spigot: Welcome to Thembria. Now, march! (Baloo, Kit and Rebecca hop out of the plane.)

Baloo: Now hold it right there, Spiggy! March where?!

Colonel Spigot: To the clink, to await trial. (Spigot folds his arms.)

Rebecca: Oh, no. In Thembria, it could be months before we get a trial. (The two guard grab Baloo, Kit and Rebecca.)

Colonel Spigot: On the contrary. Trials are the one thing in Thembria that are swift and expedient. You'll have a fair trial, then be shot. (Baloo, Kit and Rebecca gasp in horror.)

End Of Act I At 10:28

Act II

Scene I

(Head to the Capital Building as we see a Thembrian reporter talking as the two guards drag Baloo, Kit and Rebecca into the courtroom as seen in Flight Of The Snowduck. In comes Dunder with a mountain of papers along with Colonel Spigot. Kit manages to resist.)

Glorious Colossal Thembrian People's Court Announcer: Welcome to another exciting episode of the "Glorious Colossal Thembrian People's Court"!

Kit: Our trial's gonna be on the radio?!

Colonel Spigot: Of course. It keeps the people in line. And gets good ratings. March! (Kit is pushed as he marches.)

Court Announcer: Today, illegal aliens from Cape Suzette will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law by the head of our Glorious Thembrian Air Corps, Colonel Nozzle!

Colonel Spigot: Spigot! (Baloo, Kit and Rebecca get pushed in front of a judge, the same one from Flight Of The Snowduck.) Your Honor, these spies were caught traveling with expired passports.

Thembrian Court Judge: How you are pleading?

Baloo: Innocent!

Thembrian Court Judge: You can't plead the innocent. In Thembrian, you are guilty till proven innocent.

Baloo: Your highfalutinness, this whole thing was just a practical joke. I came up with a scam to make my boss here believe it's Saturday so I could get paid early. But it's really Friday. (The judge checks the papers over.) And that's the truth.

Thembrian Court Judge: I am not caring about truth. The state says it's Saturday. You are guility as charged. However, since this is first offense, I will be lenient. Boy is free to go.

Kit: I won't go without Baloo! (Kit folds his arms.)

Thembrian Court Judge: Okay. Big one is free, too. (Judge knocks on wood.)

Baloo: That's swell of you. (Rebecca turns around as Baloo and Kit leave towards the courthouse door.)

Rebecca: Oh, thank you, your Honor. You're too kind.

Thembrian Court Judge: Hold it, poopski! You are going to firing squad.

Rebecca: What?!

Thembrian Court Judge: You are boss, leader of pack. (The guards grab Rebecca.) Big cheese, top dog, honcho. So buck stops with you. Court adjourned! Please to have nice execution. (Rebecca is taken out of the courthouse.)

Scene II

(Head outside the courthouse as Baloo is sulking and Kit puts his hat back on. Baloo sits on the golden scales of a Thembrian Statue.)

Baloo: I've really did it this time, Li'l Birtches.

Kit: You can't just sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You've got to save Miss Cunningham.

Baloo: How? The only thing I do well is beat the system. And look how much trouble that's caused!

Kit: Then why don't you try something different. Like, not beating the system?

Baloo: You mean, don't cut any corners? (Kit shakes his head.) No sneaky tricks nor creative schemes? Do everything on the up and up? (Kit nods.) Wait a minute! That's it! (Baloo pets Kit on the head.) Come on Li'l Britches! We're gonna save Becky. Totally on the up and up. (Baloo and Kit leave stage left.)

Scene III

(Head inside a hallway of the prison cells as the guards are dragging Rebecca away.)

Rebecca: NOOOOOOOO! (The guards go into a prison cell and drop Rebecca on the floor. They turn around and walk out, slamming the door behind them.) Wait, please! You're making a big mistake! (Rebecca sheds a tear as Colonel Spigot comes in with his riding crop with Sergeant Dunder.)

Colonel Spigot: Up, Dunder! (Dunder grabs Spigot and gets in Rebecca's face putting the riding crop near her throat.) No, you made the mistake of crossing paths with the merciless, tyrannical, infamous, yet personable Colonel Spigot! Down. (Spigot is put on the floor by Dunder.)

Rebecca: How long do I have to stay here?

Colonel Spigot: Until your execution paperwork is filled out.

Rebecca: Oh! In this country, that could take weeks.

Sergeant Dunder: For executions, we use short forms.

Colonel Spigot: (Gets in Dunder's face.) Is that a short joke?

Sergeant Dunder: Guilty. (Colonel Spigot and Dunder walk away stage left as the prison door is locked again.)

Rebecca: (Goes to the prison bars.) Oh, Baloo. Help me! (Rebecca begins to cry.)

Scene IV

(Head to Thembrian Air Force Base as one Thembrian airplane flies into the sky. Cut to the entrance as Baloo and Kit walk to the door of the Air Force base.)

Baloo: Now, you remember those telescopes we were supposed to deliver to Myopia?

Kit: The ones for Cleanser's Comet? Yeah.

Baloo: Well, the comet is supposed to be here on Friday. Now, if everyone see it then, they'll know what day it really is and Becky will be home free. (Kit looks up in the sky.)

Kit: But it's always cloudy in Thembria.

Baloo: It won't be once I get back the SeaDuck. I have a flying stunt that will really clear up this misunderstanding. (Baloo opens the door and heads inside. Kit follows him as we see a shot of the famous stock dog from various DTVA shows with the spike collar as it's sniffing out stuff. A Thembrian Customs officer turns around.) Excuse me, Mr. Customs Officer. I'm here to claim the SeaDuck. It was escorted in this morning by your Glorious Air Corps.

Thembrian Customs Officer: Ah, yes! (Has a notepad and pen.) It has been permanently confiscated by the state.

Baloo: What?! Why?!

Thembrian Customs Officer: It is being converted into apartments for the people.

Scene V

(Head outside at the Glorious People Apartment Complex which is a bunch of airplanes converted into housing. Kit and Baloo arrive on the scene.)

Kit: Oh, no!

Baloo: We've got to find the SeaDuck before it goes condo. (Baloo walks some more.) My plane! It's gone!

Scene VI

(Back inside the prison cell as Rebecca is pacing around. In comes Colonel Spigot as he has a suitcase as he goes to the bars.)

Colonel Spigot: I have good news, Miss Cunningham.

Rebecca: Don't tell me. Is it possible Baloo got me freed?

Colonel Spigot: No. For your execution, we're letting you choose your own noose. (Spigot opens the case and shows colored spotted nooses.) Take this lovely seersucker sheep shank or this taffeta timber knot.

Rebecca: You're a barbarian! Hey, wait a minute! I thought I was being sent to the firing squad.

Colonel Spigot: You are. In Thembria, you are shot and then hung. We like to be thorough.

Rebecca: Uh-oh!

End Of Act II At 14:57

Act III

Scene I

(Head to the streets as the High Marshall and his wife are in their podium box watching on as we pan left to the denizens of Thembria watching from the stands as it's half full. None of them are animated by the way as we cut to the entrance as Spigot comes in with Rebecca with her hands tied behind her back and a noose around her neck like a dog as Dunder comes in behind her. The crowd claps; but sounds dead otherwise. We see a bunch of tanks in position. Rebecca panics.)

Rebecca: That's the firing squad?!

Colonel Spigot: Like I said, we're thorough. (Rebecca is brought to a position near a wall.) Just stand right there and we'll get the show going. (Spigot puts a target around Rebecca's neck.)

Rebecca: Show? (Dunder turns her around to face the cannons.)

Colonel Spigot: You're going on the radio again. (Pan left to some red curtains and from a Wii-sparkling spotlight comes the Thembrian People's Court announcer with a microphone and a large book. He walks over to Rebecca Cunningham.)

This Was Your Life Radio Announcer: Yes, Rebecca Cunningham; you're the featured guest on "This Was Your Life." The radio program that asks the question, "Was it worth it"? (Rebecca looks horrified and then sobs like crazy.)

Scene II

(Back to the Glorious People's Apartment Complex.)

Baloo: No, it can't be!

Kit: What?

Baloo: That is the SeaDuck! (We pan left to see the SeaDuck has a chimney stuck on it.) What have they done to my plane? It looks like a centerfold for "Better Homes & Cockpits".

Scene III

(Back at the firing squad. Rebecca is holding her tongue.)

Radio Announcer: (Reading through his book.) You were born in Cape Suzette, where you attended a private school. Here is a voice from your past. Recognize it?

Hippo Woman Teacher: (Voice.) I remember Rebecca. She was such an ambitious little girl. Pretty, too.

Rebecca: Miss Tuttle? My third grade teacher?

Radio Announcer: That's right. We flew her to Thembria especially for this broadcast. (In comes Miss Tuttle wearing a green dress and Ilana Ruxpin's hairstyle walking out from the curtains and towards Rebecca.)

Miss Tuttle: And to think, your class voted you: "Least Likely To Be Shot By A Firing Squad" Tsk tsk tsk tsk.

Scene IV

(Head to the back of the SeaDuck on the tailsection door as a Thembrian woman wearing the same hairstyle, with pink apron and red dress is sweeping the door with a broom. Baloo tips his hat and shakes her hand.)

Baloo: Congratulations, ma'am. You're the lucky winner of the Thembrian Clearinghouse Snowplow Sweepstakes.

Thembrian Woman: Heh heh, I am? What did I win?

Baloo: A glorious state surplus snowplow shovel. It was custom made for your lovely home. (The woman goes to the front of the SeaDuck.) Now, turn around and close your eyes while we get it ready. (The woman turns around and closes her eyes as Baloo smacks some chickens away inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck. Kit is in the SeaDuck in the navigator's chair. Baloo starts the engines.) All right! Turn around and say bye-bye. (Baloo waves goodbye and flies the SeaDuck into the skies. The woman turns around panics.)

Kit: Good job, Poppa Bear. Ah, but I don't think this is exactly on the up and up.

Baloo: 'Course it is. We're gaining altitude, aren't we?

Scene V

(Head back to the firing squad area.)

Radio Announcer: You recently inherited a courier service from your father, where you quickly learned to enslave the workers. (Rebecca is sobbing again.)

Rebecca: Please, stop! Get this over with! Shoot me!

Scene VI

(Head in the skies as the SeaDuck is using the snowplow to clear the clouds. Head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)

Baloo: See, I told you I could clear up the situation. We'll see that comet for sure.

Kit: Wow. The world's first cloud plower!

Baloo: Uh-oh. And it looks like I'm the last. (Three Thembrian planes start shooting at the SeaDuck with bullets. One of them has a bathtub attached to the plane. The bullets deflect off the shovel. Baloo pushes the flight stick and goes into a dive.)

Kit: Pull up, Baloo! (Baloo struggles to pull the flight stick up; but no dice.)

Baloo: I'm trying! I can't get the nose up!

Kit: Why not?!

Baloo: There's too much nose! Give me some schnoz throttle. (Baloo hyperboles the plane and destroys a wooden log cabin in the middle of Thembria and then pulls up and whacks into the bathtub causing the shovel to unhinge from the nose of the SeaDuck and fly off stage left. The bathtub turns purple as the engine sputters and the shovel drags the Thembrian plane down as it crashes into each plane and into each other as they free fall to the ground.)

Kit: Well, it shower curtains for them. (Looking out the window.)

Baloo: Yeah, and it's curtains for Becky, too. No one's gonna see that comet now. (Kit takes off his seatbelt and gets up, taking out his airfoil.)

Kit: Wanna bet? Put on a happy face, 'cause gray skies are gonna clear up. (Kit runs to the back.)

Baloo: Now, why does that sound familiar? (Cut to the tailsection door as it opens up and Kit jumps out with the tow rope.)

Kit: Wahoo! Yahoo! (Kit puts the airfoil underneath his feet. Kit surfs the clouds causing them to break up.)

Baloo: Heh heh. The boy's doing me proud.

Scene VII

(Head back to the firing squad.)

Radio Announcer: And now, Rebecca; our last guest.

Colonel Spigot: (Voice.) Miss Cunningham and I know each other very well. Of course, everyone knows me.

Rebecca: Let me guess. Colonel Drainpipe. (Out from the curtains is Colonel Spigot storming in.)

Colonel Spigot: That's Spigot! For the last time, Spigot! (He also has Don Karnage's sword with him.) And now, for a really big show... (Jump cut to Spigot walking towards the tanks. Spigot takes out the sword and taps one of the tanks.) Ready...aim... (The tank point their guns at Rebecca as she gasps as the sky turns red. Rebecca gasps again as the denizens of Thembria look up. One of them is eating popcorn. The tank drivers come out looking in awe.)

Radio Announcer: Oooo, look; it's Cleanser's Comet! (Points to the sky. We see the red meteorite flying through the sky.)

Thembrian Denizens: Ooooo!

Thembrian Denizen #1: It is Friday!

Thembrian Denizens: Payday! (They all cheer. Rebecca giggles. Sky returns to normal.)

Rebecca: Saved!

Colonel Spigot: Uh-oh. Someone's in trouble now. (In comes Sergeant Dunder.)

Sergeant Dunder: Would it make you feel any better if this was my fault?

Colonel Spigot: Of course! It's his fault! I had nothing to do with it. (The SeaDuck tears through the curtains as the denizens cheer in unison. Rebecca hops over to the SeaDuck. Baloo gets out of the SeaDuck and unties Rebecca.)

Rebecca: Baloo, you saved me!

Baloo: Yep. And you'll be happy to know I didn't have to beat the system to do it.

Rebecca: (Rebecca takes the target off her neck.) You mean, you didn't cut any corners?

Baloo: Well, maybe just a little trim.

Rebecca: You didn't pull a scam or cheat or anything? (A few chickens comes out of the SeaDuck annoying Kit.)

Baloo: Nope. Of course, don't hold me to the truth.

Rebecca: I won't, but just get me out of this slush pit! (Rebecca runs into the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)

Scene VIII

(Head to Cape Suzette as the SeaDuck flies in via the cliff guns entrance. The SeaDuck lands on the docks near Higher For Hire. Cut to Kit opening the pilot's door and hops down onto the dock. Baloo and Rebecca join him.)

Baloo: I am one changed bear. Eh, I think I'll just head over to Louie's and see how last night's party went. (Baloo goes to the SeaDuck; but is stopped.)

Kit: Think again. Here comes your Saturday date. (In comes Broadcast Sally. Baloo is flustered.)

Baloo: I...ah...one more favor, Becky. Just one more. (Baloo gets on his knees.) Make me work tonight. Free overtime, huh? Heh heh. I'll do anything. Please.

Rebecca: Oh, after all you've put me through, you deserve this night off. (Sally walks towards Baloo and grabs him putting him over her shoulder.)

Baloo: But-but-but-but-but...

Sally: Hmmmm, ready for a night on the town...big bear? (Rebecca and Kit are giggling at each other. Baloo is dragged away by Sally. Baloo actually grabs Sally's rear end on the way out.)

Baloo: You owe me one, Becky. You owe me.

End Of Episode At 21:25



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