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Gruel & Unusual Punishment Transcript

Written: 08/15/2015
Updated: 11/09/2021

Act I

Scene I

(Shot of outside at the docks of Higher For Hire. Zoom towards the office and then head to inside the kitchen with Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII raiding the fridge.)

Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Egh. Hmm. Nothing to eat around here. (Baloo takes out a peanut butter sandwich and shuts the fridge.) I guess this will have to last me till lunch. (Baloo eats the sandwich.)

Rebecca Cunningham: Oh, Baloo?

Baloo: Uh-oh. (Baloo looks around and then stuffs the entire sandwich in his mouth and props himself against the fridge. Rebecca enters the room wearing a pink/white dress (a pearl necklace and slippers), the same one she wore in Her Chance To Dream.)

Rebecca: There you are. I wanted you to see the gown I'm wearing to the Pilot's Ball. (Rebecca twirls around.) What do you think? (Baloo is mumbling because there is a sandwich in his mouth.) Are you eating in the office again? (Rebecca is not impressed as Baloo gulps.)

Baloo: Who? Me? (Rebecca turns around not happy with her arms folded.)

Rebecca: Huh, if only I didn't have to go to the Pilot's Ball with a pilot, especially a plump pilot. Still, I suppose anyone can look good in a tuxedo. (There is a blue dresser drawer above the green counter which Rebecca opens to find a mirror and she looks in it and then leans to the left as it shows Baloo cleaning this teeth with a toothpick out of nowhere.) Even you. You do have a tuxedo, don't you? (Rebecca folds her arms not impressed.)

Baloo: Hey-hey, do penguins swim? (Baloo puts the toothpick away.) Ah, relax Becky. Old Baloo won't let you down. (Rebecca turns around.)

Rebecca: You mean you're gonna lose weight? (Baloo does the cross sign on his heart and then puts up two fingers.)

Baloo: Cross my heart and hope to diet.

Scene II

(Cut to inside Baloo and Kit's bedroom as there is a wooden box on the floor. Baloo enters and takes off his shirt making him naked. Baloo opens the box as Kit is with him.)

Baloo: Ho, ho. Wait until Rebecca gets a load of me in this! (There are white butterflies flying out of the chest as Baloo picks up a very worn out and ripped black tuxedo.) So suave, so debonair, (Baloo puts the tuxedo on as Kit is helping him.) so...so... (Baloo tries to button the tuxedo but the suit is too small for him.)

Kit Cloudkicker: Fat. (Baloo strains.)

Baloo: Not fat... Just...well upholstered. (He manages to get one button on but the button pops off and it bounces around the room before landing in Baloo's mouth. Baloo slaps the back of his head to spit out the button onto his hand.) Man, that baby had top spin. (Kit pushes a larger mirror towards Baloo.)

Kit: Maybe this will help, Poppa Bear. (Kit gets up on the box and Baloo looks himself in the mirror which is at an angle as Baloo looks short (and almost his Jungle Cubs look) and squat.)

Baloo: Whoa! I look like a fire plug. (Kit readjusts the mirror up so that it's a normal mirror.) That's it. (The mirror has a curve in it for some reason and it makes Baloo look thinner. Baloo admires himself and the mirror shatters on cue.)

Kit: Oops. (Baloo sits down on the box as he literally walks on the broken glass.)

Baloo: Oh, let's face it; Little Britches. I need Big Britches. (The box collapses and is destroyed by Baloo's weight. Baloo sighs.) If I don't drop some tonnage before the Pilot's Ball, Becky's gonna find herself another escort.

Kit: Why don't you go to that famous fat farm? The Elizabeth Taper Center?

Baloo: You mean where all the big stars go when they get too big?

Kit: (Leans on an out of nowhere foot stool.) Yeah. I heard about it on the radio. They have the strictest weight loss counselors around.

Baloo: Well, if it's good enough for a big star like Liz Taper, it's good enough for me. (Baloo turns around and runs out.)

Scene III

(Outside in the skies with the SeaDuck flying above storm clouds. Kit is outside on a rope doing some cloudsurfing.)

Kit: Yee-ha! Yee-ha! (Kit pulls himself into the tailsection of the SeaDuck as we head to the cockpit with Baloo piloting and WildCat being the co-pilot in the navigator's seat. Baloo has a parachute on.)

Baloo: How much further to the island, WildCat?

WildCat Puma: (WildCat reads the map.) They're the green things on the map, right?

Baloo: Right in one guess. (Baloo takes out a guacamole donair taco with lettcue and bites into it causing green stuff to splatter onto WildCat's map somehow. WildCat was looking out the window and then goes back to read the map some more.)

WildCat: Seems like there's more then there used to be. (Kit comes into the cockpit.)

Kit: Do you always start a diet with a double order of guacamole tacos?!

Baloo: (With his mouth full.) You wouldn't want me to lose weight on an empty stomach, would ya? (Disney Captions had it as "You want me" and "you". Baloo pats his belly.)

WildCat: (Looks outside the window.) That looks like the island now. (Baloo unbuckles his safety belt.)

Baloo: Tell Rebecca; I'll be back in time to go to the party. (Baloo opens the pilot's door.)

Kit: We'll tell her, Baloo!

Baloo: And don't tell her I'm losing weight! That's gonna be my surprise. (Baloo jumps and we see a far shot of an island surrounded by cliffs making it impossible to get off or on the island without flying there. Baloo parachute opens and he lands on the island. Cut to shot of the jungle with animals shrieking. There is a white sign with purple letters saying "Bedevilled Island Prison". Cut to Baloo landing with his parachutes.) All I gotta do now is find that health spa and drop a few pound-aroos! (Baloo runs into the jungle and then we jump cut to Baloo dancing and humming.)

Scene IV

(Shot of Baloo in the forest looking somewhat tired and hot.)

Baloo: Whoo, man; what a scorcher. Say? Now I can rest my dogs! (Baloo notices a lake and dives in; splashing himself with water. He then backflops into the water and lays on his back like a boat. This happened in the Jungle Book and also was a spot done in the original TaleSpin promo for Disney Channel before the preview episodes were released in May of 1990. Baloo sighs.) Oh, why can't they put these spas in a more convenient spot? (Baloo grabs a banana hanging from a tree above his head. Baloo unpops the banana and eats it.) Like...heh heh heh...next to a diner?

Scene V

(Shot of the jungle river as Baloo is lying on it with grapes, pears, pineapple, kiwi fruit and bananas on his belly. He is eating the grapes now.)

Man's Voice: Hup-two, hup-two, hup-two. (Cut to a Thembrian boar wearing a cyan shirt and green pants a large gallstone around his neck with wooden pegs on top pulling a small antique like car as a Thembrian wearing a Nazi uniform (without the symbols) carrying a white megaphone and yelling out orders.) You prisoners, pick up your feet! This is a work detail! You're back home in Thembria now! (In comes at least four prisoners in green prison gear, and one of the smallest Thembrian warthogs is old and has a ball and chain with him as we see a traditional Thembrian guard dressed in the crimson red/pink trim uniform carrying a large rifle with a bayonett on it. Cut to the bushes as Baloo peeks out of them.)

Baloo: What'd you know? I found them! (Baloo walks out of the bushes with some of the fruit that he has yet to eat. He drops the fruit off-screen and joins up with the old man with the ball and chain.) Hi, guys! Hey, some place. You're lean and mean.

Old Man: Just what we need. A comedian.

Baloo: Nah; I'm a pilot. Baloo's the name and flying's the game.

Old Man: Did you say, a pilot?

Baloo: Sure. If it's got wings, I can fly it. (Disney Captions forgot to capitalize "If" in that sentence.) Heh, heh. Sometimes, if it doesn't. (The guard walks in not impressed by this.)

Thembrian Guard #1: Keep marching and no talking! Double time! Hup-two, hup-two, hup-two! (The guard pokes the bayonett at Baloo's rear end and Baloo is forced to walk on cringing in pain.)

Baloo: Ouch! Ow! Ow!

Scene VI

(Shot of the Bedevilled Island Prison as there is a tower with two Thembrian guards with rifles scouting the area. We pan shot to the entire prison area from the mess halls to the punishment box and other such buildings.)

Baloo: Oh, I hope we get to meet Elizabeth Taper. (We see Baloo is now wearing the cyan blue/green prison outfit as the rest. There are five prisoners along with Baloo including the old man with the ball and chain. Jump cut to a closeup of Baloo as the colonel who was in the white car comes forward with one of the biggest books I have ever seen.)

Colonel Slammer: My name is Slammer. Welcome to your new home. You will all be given a copy of the rules. (Slammer gives Baloo the large book.) Read it. Memorize it. You will also be provided with some... hehaha... special equipment. (One of the Thembrian guards puts a ball and chain on Baloo's right ankle.)

Baloo: Ankle weights, huh? Oh-ho. That ought to tone up the old legs. (Baloo drops the book as the guard throws the ball to Baloo and he grabs it.) Oof! Hey, a medicine ball. Oh, great workout! (Baloo throws the ball away and Baloo goes flying stage right. He bops Slammer in the back and then Baloo flops on top of Slammer.) YAH!

Colonel Slammer: Guards!

Scene VII

(Shot of Colonel Slammer near a sweat box as two guards are holding Baloo by the arms and dragging him towards said sweatbox.)

Colonel Slammer: When the sun shines on this box, it can get up to two hundred degrees inside.

Baloo: A solar powered sauna, huh? Oh, pretty neat.

Colonel Slammer: Hee. Glad you like it. Throw him in! (Baloo is thrown into the sweatbox and it is locked from the outside. Colonel Slammer turns around and leaves with the guards.)

Baloo: Hey! How about leaving me a box lunch?! (Shot of the bright sun and pan down to the sweat box which the roof is glowing red. Head inside with Baloo holding his ball and chain looking at the themometer as the red liquid rises up and breaks the top of it causing Baloo to gasp.)

Scene VIII

(Shot of outside the sweat box as the two Thembrian Guards open the sweat box and drags Baloo out of it.)

Baloo: Hey-heh; thanks, guys. I feel like I sweated off ten pounds already. (Baloo and the guards leave stage left.)

Scene IX

(Head to a large mudhouse like hut with two guards with rifles guarding the door as the sun is setting in the background.)

Colonel Slammer: I hope you've gained something from this experience. (The sun is slowly setting as this happens. Shot of inside Slammer's office which has a ceiling fan run by a bicycle. Colonel Slammer is at his desk.)

Baloo: Gained? Thought I was supposed to be losing.

Colonel Slammer: Oh, a comedian?!

Baloo: Nah, I'm a pilot. Baloo's the name and flying's...

Colonel Slammer: (Pounds on the desk.) Silence! This is going in your file. (Pounds on the file folder that was on the desk. He takes the file and goes to the filing cabinets.) You better shape up! (Slammer puts the file in the cabinets.)

Baloo: Boy, you're telling me. Rebecca will kill me.

Colonel Slammer: (Pointing to the bicycle attached to the pulley system which turns on the ceiling fan.) Get over there and start pedaling. (Baloo runs over and gets on the bicycle.)

Baloo: Good idea! There's nothing like an exercise bike to trim down the waistline. (Baloo is pedaling the bicycle as Colonel Slammer relaxes with his feet on the desk.)

Colonel Slammer: Yawn! It can be so tiring being cruel and sadistic. Faster! (Baloo pedals much faster.)

Scene X

(It's after dark as we get a shot of outside Colonel Slammer's office with the two guards sleeping on the job. The old man with the ball and chain tiptoes in and heads into the hut. Jump cut to sunrise as the guards are yawning and the rooster is crowing in the background. We cut to the open door as the light comes in. Colonel Slammer wakes up and there are hundreds of file folders with information behind him as those green cabinets have been stolen (apparently by the old man.).)

Colonel Slammer: (Yawns.) What a short night?! (Slammer looks up.) Huh? (He sees that the ceiling fan is also gone.) My fan's gone! I've been robbed! Someone's going to prison for this! Huu huu. I forgot, we're already in prison. (Slammer turns around and Baloo is snoring and sleeping on the bicycle. Slammer walks towards Baloo.) Playing innocent, huh? You don't fool me. WAKE UP! Steal my ceiling fan, will ya? (Baloo wakes up.) This is going in your file. (Slammer takes a file folder from the middle and then turns around.) What?! Now he's stolen my filing cabinets! (The file folders all collapse and bury Slammer.) Take him to the box! (Two Thembrian Guards show up out of nowhere and drag Baloo out of the office.)

Baloo: Eh. How about some breakfast first?

Scene XI

(Shot of the sky with the bright sun. Cut to the sweatbox with Baloo inside.)

Baloo: Now I know how a fried egg feels, ou; with bacon -- orange juice. Ah, if only a day without orange juice was a day without sunshine. (Colonel Slammer appears at the door.)

Colonel Slammer: Hot enough for ya? If only your lunch was so hot. (Slammer unlocks the sweatbox and opens the door with the two Thembrian guards flanking him. Baloo flops right on the door and then wakes up.)

Baloo: Lunch?! Why didn't you say so?

Scene XII

(Inside the mess hall as at least five Thembrians are inside eating what appears to be oatmeal. Baloo walks inside and sees bowls being eaten.)

Baloo: Foo-ood! At last! Oh, I don't mind being on a diet as long as there's plenty to eat! (Baloo walks around and notices a guard eating green slime.) Gruel, huh? The chef must be from Thembria. (Baloo sits down beside the old man eating his "lunch". Baloo licks his chops and inhales, and then blows out. Baloo then sees that there is nothing but steam coming out of the bowl.) This is just steam.

Old Man: You are lucky. Yesterday, it was cold steam. Of course, it could be worse. It could be...eh...eh...eh...gruel!

Baloo: I can't stand it! I've got to have something to eat! (Baloo takes his bowl and walks towards the back where the steam pot is.) Please, sir. I want some more? (We see Colonel Slammer at a table with a steam generator and a hose.)

Colonel Slammer: More stream? I'll give you more steam! (Slammer sprays steam right in Baloo's face as Baloo trips over his ball and chain.)

Baloo: Wah! Ooo, ooo! Wah! (Baloo crashes into the table and it breaks causing dishes and stuff to fly into the air and shatter upon impact on the ground. Baloo gets up in a rage.) That's it! I don't care if Rebecca thinks I'm a fat slob! I am leaving! (Baloo goes towards the door; but the guards cut him off at the pass.)

Colonel Slammer: No one ever leaves Bedevilled Island Maximum Security Prison! (Slammer approaches Baloo waving his riding crop.)

Baloo: Prison?! I thought this was a health spa!

Colonel Slammer: Do I look like Elizabeth Taper?! (Slammer turns around as a Thembrian Guard brings in a stack of file folder. Slammer goes to him and grabs a bunch of them from the top and then walks towards Baloo.) Theft of the Thembrian government ceiling fan, (Disney Caption had "the" as "a".) violation of the Thembrian government files, wanton destruction of Thembrian government dishes and worse of all, (Slammer is throwing paper after paper away.) wasting Thembrian government steam! (Gets in Baloo's face.) Do you know what the punishment is for that?

Baloo: Another trip to the sauna?

Colonel Slammer: Not quite. But you're getting warm.

Scene XIII

(Shot at a wall as Baloo is blindfolded; but doesn't have his hands tied behind his back as he has a target around his neck. Colonel Slammer unpops his ankle cuff and takes the ball and chain with him.)

Colonel Slammer: Mind if I borrow this?

Baloo: Oh, yeah; go ahead. It was starting to chafe anyway. (Slammer runs over and places the ball and chain into a large cannon. And there are four cannons in the scene with four Thembrian guards pointing the cannon straight at Baloo.) And why the blindfold? Am I supposed to break a pinata or something?

Colonel Slammer: (Slammer brings out his sword.) No, you're about to be executed by a firing squad. (Disney Captions had a comma at the end of this line.)

Baloo: Firing squad?! (Panics.) Wait, wait! I'm allergic to lead!

End of Act I At 9:39

Act II

Scene I

(Pan side shot of Baloo standing against the wall facing four cannons, four guards and Colonel Slammer himself.)

Colonel Slammer: Oh, ready?!

Baloo: No, no! I'm not!

Colonel Slammer: Aim?! (The guards grab the ropes behind the cannons.)

Baloo: Wait! Don't I get a last request?

Colonel Slammer: Huh?

Baloo: Since there is no need to diet anymore, I'd like a big lunch, with a side of dinner. Let's start with the roast beef and mashed potatoes. And angel food cake. Ah! Devil's food cake! Ooo...Somewhere in between cake. (Slammer's own ear slump in amazement.) And, oh yeah; some wild duck, and also, some mildly annoyed duck. And...

Colonel Slammer: FIRE! (The guards pull the ropes from the cannons. Baloo gulps, moans and slumps down on the ground.)

Thembrian Guard #1: (Checking the mouth of the cannon.) There's something wrong, sir! (The guard sticks his head into the cannon.)

Colonel Slammer: Well, find out what the problem is. (The guard finds a shell and opens it to reveal very little gunpowder.)

Thembrian Guard #1: There's no gunpowder in the shells, sir.

Colonel Slammer: (Flustered.) They must be leftover from the last gunpowder shortage.

Baloo: Tough luck, huh?

Colonel Slammer: For you it is. It's against the rules not to die at your own execution. You'll get another twenty years for that.

Baloo: Hey, I did my part. I didn't even peek. (Baloo takes the blindfold off while Slammer counts on his fingers.)

Colonel Slammer: (Muttering.) Nine plus two and carry the one...That's...two hundred and nineteen years you'll be in prison. Not counting today.

Baloo: Ah, couldn't you let me out a little early, like Saturday?! I've got to take my boss to a party.

Colonel Slammer: Saturday?! (Points at Baloo.) We get a new shipment of ammunition on Saturday. We can shoot you then. (Slammer walks off.)

Baloo: There goes Saturday night.

Scene II

(Back at the docks of Higher For Hire. Wildcat and Kit are wheeling in tanks into the back of the SeaDuck. Kit grabs one of the barrels and it's heavy.)

Kit: (Grunts.) This glue sure is heavy. (Kit puts down the barrel somewhere.) Whew! I hope Baloo lost a lot of weight.

WildCat: Oh, not too much. (WildCat puts the lift wheels to one side.) I had an aunt who lost two thousand pounds and she was miserable.

Kit: Two thousand pounds?!

WildCat: Yeah; her car was stolen.

Kit: (Props himself against one of the glue barrels.) Oh, I just hope we can find the Elizabeth Taper Center again. (Kit then takes out the map and looks at it.) Which island is it?

WildCat: This guacamole one. (Points to the guacamole specks on the map.)

Kit: What?! Guacamole?! (Kit wipes off the green stuff with one finger and manages to get the other speck in the process.) Bedevilled Island? That's where the Thembrians send their worst prisoners!

WildCat: Whoo-whee! Lucky for Baloo he went to the isle of guacamole instead.

Kit: WildCat, we've got to help Baloo! (Kit grabs WildCat's arm and leads him out.)

Scene III

(Sky shot of the rock quarry as we zoom in to Baloo looking around and then grabbing a sledgehammer. He spits on his hands and rubs them and lifts the sledgehammer.)

Baloo: (Straining.) If they're gonna execute a guy tomorrow, (Baloo lifts it above his head and the sledgehammer hammer comes off and nails him on the top of the head.) they could at least give him the day off. (Baloo flops on the ground on his belly. Baloo then wakes up as we hear and see a large rock crumble before the old man. The old man wipes his hands as Baloo takes the head off the sledgehammer as he looks confused since the old man magically has a tiny little hammer in his hand. He examines the large rock and taps it in a small spot; which causes the entire rock to crumble into small pieces. Baloo walks over to the old man.) Hey, that's neat. How did you do that?

Old Man: (Examining the middle large rock.) It's a question of knowing where to strike. (He taps the hammer in a spot lightly and that rock crumbles in half and then breaks into pieces.)

Baloo: Hey, what's a smart guy like you doing in prison?

Old Man: I don't know. I'm innocent.

Baloo: There's probably a law against that in Thembria.

Old Man: It broke my dear old mother's heart when they sent me here. You see, tomorrow is her eighty-th birthday. (He is not happy as Baloo is sympathizing with him and shedding tears.) I promised to give her a party.

Baloo: (Consoles the old man.) Ah, I sure wish there was some way I could help you.

Old Man: Ah! But, there is! You are a pilot, no?

Baloo: Ah, the greatest pilot in the world, by my own estimation.

Old Man: I have built an aeroplane. (Disney Captions called it an airplane.) It can fly us both off this island.

Baloo: All right!

Old Man: But only if we do not overload it. Lose ten pounds by tonight, my friend; and we're out of here. (Old man pokes Baloo's stomach.)

Baloo: Ten pounds?! Ack, maybe we'd better just let them shoot me. (Old man grabs Baloo's hand and drags him out of the quarry.)

Old Man: Do not worry, I will help you.

Scene IV

(Shot of the bright sun in the sky again. We head down to the sweatbox with the old man outside sitting down on a lawn chair with an orange umbrella underneath him and Baloo inside running with his ball and chain.)

Old Man: One, two. One, two. One, two. Let's pick up the knees! (Baloo is panting.)

Scene V

(Sunset approaches with a far shot of Bedevilled Island. The sun sets and then we cut to nightfall inside the prison area, but outside the building as there is a crescent moon in the sky. Baloo and the old man are walking carefully outside, but the chains of Baloo's ball and chain are making a lot of noise.)

Old Man: Quietly. We don't want the guard to hear us. (Baloo stops at a trash can and sniffs it.)

Baloo: Something smells good. (Baloo opens the lid and steam comes out as the old man turns around.) Mmmm. Leftovers. (Old man grabs the trash can lid.)

Old Man: We escape now! Eat later! And...be quiet! (Old man puts the lid back on the trash can and pulls Baloo over to him. Old Man sadly walks stage left and knocks over two trash cans causing a lot of noise. A spotlight shines on Baloo and the Old Man. Baloo and Old Man run around as prison sirens wail and spotlight shine around the entire area. Baloo and the man run into a circular hut and Baloo shuts the door behind him. The spotlight shines at the hut and it goes beyond the window. Baloo is panting.) Hurry! We have to take off! (We see the man on top of the plane which is made of the ceiling fan, filing cabinets and a lot of wooden bamboo shoots.)

Baloo: You're the one who stole all that stuff! (Baloo examines the plane.)

Old Man: Yes! And the motor from Colonel Slammer's new car, too; built during the Thembrian motor shortage. (Baloo get in the front of the makeshift plane. Gunfire destroys the straw roof (using Transformer laser sound effects) and a number of wooden boxes causing Baloo to duck.)

Baloo: Oh! Why don't they ever have a bullet shortage? (Colonel Slammer and two guard run towards the straw hut, in which the roof has magically repaired itself. Not that it matters since Baloo pilots the makeshift plane through the straw wall and flies into the air almost killing Slammer and his guards in the process. The makeshift plane flies out of Bedevilled Island with spotlights shining up.)

Colonel Slammer: Escaping from prison?! You'll get life for this! (Somehow, Slammer gets teleported inside the straw hut when he's saying this.)

Scene VI

(Shot of the jungle as the wind has somehow pulled away the folige to reveal the sign we saw earlier. It's the SeaDuck making the wind.)

Kit: We thought this island was the Elizabeth Taper Center. (The Seaduck comes to a stop on the water and out comes WildCat, Kit and Rebecca jumping from the pilot's door.)

WildCat: But it was just a glob of guacamole.

Rebecca: That is the most unbelievable story I've ever heard from anybody! And you say Baloo did all this, just so he wouldn't disappoint me?

WildCat: Hey, you said it was unbelievable. (Kit, Rebecca and WildCat walk onto the beach and into the jungle.)

Rebecca: I wonder which way the camp is?

WildCat: Oh! Let me. I'm a great tracker! (Kit and Rebecca stop as WildCat looks around for a long time. He licks his finger to test the air.) Oh. Ah...Ah, yeah. (He frames his hands.) Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. (gives a thumbs up) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (Rebecca and Kit stand there looking confused.) Oh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, no. Ahh... (WildCat looks like he has a headache. He crawls on the ground for a while and points to the east.) The camp's a half mile that way!

Rebecca: That's amazing, WildCat. How did you know that? (Disney Captions added a "but" to this line.)

WildCat: I read a sign. (WildCat pulls back some grass to reveal a sign that says Camp One Half Mile -->)

Scene VII

(Shot of outside of Colonel Slammer's office with the guards guarding it. Then we zoom in and head inside Slammer's office as Slammer is at his desk with Kit, Rebecca and WildCat.)

Rebecca: What do you mean, he's escaped?! Baloo's not a fat crim-in-al. He's a fat pilot!

Colonel Slammer: (Slams his fist on his desk.) Then why did he help Professor Krackpotkin escape?!

Rebecca: Who is Professor Krackpotkin?!

Colonel Slammer: The scientist who hates gruel! (Somehow; he got some filing cabinets back.) Every day for twenty years, his mother fed him gruel, gruel for breakfast, gruel burgers for lunch, gruel pizzas for dinner. It drove him mad. (Everyone looks worried as Slammer jumps up into the air and lands on his desk.) He was imprisoned for trying to implement the Krackpotkin Plan! A diabolical plan! To destroy all the glorious Thembrian gruel reserve! And he hasn't given up yet! (Jumps off the desk and lands in front of Kit, Rebecca and WildCat.) Krackpotkin left these blueprints behind. (He shows the blueprints showing a children's picture of Baloo flying the plane wearing a dunce cap while Professor Krackpotkin romances himself as a human being about to murder Baloo with his shoe.) His airplane is a flying bomb packed with enough stolen gunpowder to blow a hole into the Central Gruel Reservoir! (Cut to the skies with Baloo flying the makeshift plane with Krackpotkin in the back seat flying towards Thembria.) So, I've radioed ahead to Colonel Spigot, he's ready to shoot the plane down as soon as it reaches the gruel reserve. (Zoom in to Krackpotkin looking down at something and then does a wicked smile.)

End of Act II At 16:19

Act III

Scene I

(Cut to the skies over the icy mountain side of Thembria as the SeaDuck is flying in the sky.)

Rebecca: Faster, WildCat; we've gotta save Baloo! (Cut to the cockpit with WildCat piloting the plane with Kit and Rebecca inside.)

WildCat: A-Okay! Hold on to your airsick bags! (WildCat pushes a lever while controlling the flight stick. Cut to Baloo and Krackpotkin flying over the capital of Thembria.)

Baloo: Now, Kracky-baby; as soon as I get you back to your mother, I'm flying on to Cape Suzette. I'm escorting a very special lady to a party tonight. (Then there are explosions as cannon balls light up the sky.) Looks like I might be late. (Baloo starts dodging shell fire as we head down to ground level inside the capital with Colonel Spigot and Sergeant Dunder sitting on a tank driving around behind the cannon.)

Colonel Ivanhov Spigot: Sargeant Dunder?! Load! (The tank gets into position as we see Dunder grunting and carrying a really big shell. He loads it into the back of the cannon and closes the hatch.)

Sargeant Dunder: Really Big Bertha loaded, Colonel Spigot, sir! (Dunder salutes him.) Would you like me to aim?

Colonel Spigot: I will do it, Dunder. (Spigot walks stage left as Dunder snaps his fingers.) Sergeant Dunder?!

Sargeant Dunder: Oops, sorry; sir! (Spigot cannot reach the scope of the cannon; so Dunder has to help him up to look in the scope.)

Colonel Spigot: Ah-ha! This time we can't miss. (We see the plane coming in as Dunder sets Spigot down on the tank floor. Dunder takes out some earmuffs and places them on Spigot's ears.) Fire. (Dunder pulls the rope as the shell is launched in the air; but Baloo dodges the shell easily and flies away stage right.) I didn't blow them out of the sky! (Spigot jumps up and down like a raving lunatic.)

Sargeant Dunder: Aw...But you made a really big boom.

Colonel Spigot: Krackpotkin will make an even bigger boom when he blows up the gruel reserves! (In the background, there is a large factory like area which are considered the gruel reserves. Cut to Krackpotkin laughing in the makeshift plane.)

Professor Krackpotkin: We are almost there. Nothing can stop me now.

Baloo: (Looks up and notices that the SeaDuck is flying in the sky.) Hey! (The SeaDuck circles around.)

Kit: (From his window.) Baloo! Turn back! Krackpotkin's a mad scientist!

Baloo: Huh?! Bad scientist?! Now, hang on, professor! I'll get you to your mommy no matter how bad your grades were. (Baloo flies away from the SeaDuck (in Chrageman Ken's shadow transparent mode no less.).)

Kit: I don't think he understood us. (Rebecca comes to the window.)

Rebecca: We've got to head them off. (The SeaDuck flies over and past the makeshift plane as we cut to Baloo piloting.)

Baloo: Maybe we should let your mother know you're coming. (Krackpotkin is laughing with his parachute on.)

Professor Krackpotkin: We'll just drop in. (Krackpotkin pulls a lever and the plane falls apart to leave only the middle and the propeller.)

Baloo: Huh? (Baloo panics.)

Professor Krackpotkin: I'm putting you on a crash diet, my friend. Goodbye, gruel... (Krackpotkin jumps off the plane and his parachute opens.)...world!

Baloo: Now, I don't think he even has a mother. (The propeller ceiling fan finally stops and the plane drops down like a stone above the Gruel Reserves. Baloo screams loudly. Cut back to the cockpit of the SeaDuck.)

Kit: Come on, WildCat! It's time to do some serious flying!

WildCat: Well, here goes everything. (WildCat pulls on the stick and the SeaDuck goes up into the air and loop-de-loops for a while as it then dives straight down towards the falling makeshift plane bomb. The side door opens and it shows Rebecca holding onto the wall.)

Rebecca: JUMP!

Baloo: Do I look like a Mexican Jumping Bear?!

Rebecca: Don't argue Baloo! Do you want to blow up?!

Baloo: Well, now that you mention it... NOOOO! (Baloo jumps off the makeshift plane and into the side door of the SeaDuck like he was diving into a swimming pool. The SeaDuck hyperboles to straighten itself out as we cut to the back as Rebecca is dodging glue barrels and Baloo lands on Rebecca's back causing Rebecca to suffer the same fate as Mr. McNee from Mommy For A Day.)

Rebecca: Ehh! You've lost some weight, haven't you? (Baloo gets off Rebecca.)

Baloo: No time to discuss diets now, Rebecca. I've got me some flying to do. (Baloo heads into the cockpit. Cut to the makeshift plane bomb falling and it somehow spirals into the wall of the bottom floor gruel tank and it explodes causing hot gruel to pour out of the tank reserve. The gruel becomes a giant flood engulfing all of the capital of Thembria as the thing is cracking a bit from the hole. Cut back to the cockpit as Baloo grabs Kit and sets him on the floor.) Eh, excuse me, Little Britches. (Baloo takes over in Kit's seat on the co-pilot's stick. The SeaDuck circles around as we head back to the cockpit.)

Rebecca: Ah, it's too late! The whole city's gonna be buried under a flood of high-fiber breakfast food. (Disney Captions missed "whole". Cut to shot of the denizens of Thembria shouting and running away. Cut to a shot of Krackpotkin landing on a statue featuring Colonel Spigot on a horse with a sword in his hand as the flood of gruel goes on below him.)

Professor Krackpotkin: They thought I was insane! They will eat their words now! (The parachute covers him as we cut to the SeaDuck flying around the gruel reserve. Cut back to the cockpit.)

Kit: What are we gonna do, Baloo? (Baloo looks around the area and suddenly notices the glue barrels in the back which are now leaking glue.)

Baloo: Hey; Krackpotkin stuck me with this, it's time I return the favor. (The gruel flood continues it's rampage as we see Spigot and Dunder standing on the snow road standing their ground as the denizens are running away from him.)

Colonel Spigot: There's only one way to stop that gruel! (Spigot brings out a spoon.) Hunger attack! (Dunder brings out his spoon with a look like he's not happy with this and wants to leave. However; the flood of gruel splashes towards them and Dunder panics.)

Sargeant Dunder: I don't think I'm hungry, sir!

Colonel Spigot: Loss of appetite in the face of the enemy?! Put yourself on report, Dunder! (Spigot and Dunder toss their spoons away, turn around and run away. Pan up towards a shot of the gruel reserves as the SeaDuck flies in. Cut to inside the cockpit.)

Baloo: This ought to make that gruel stick to their ribs. Glue away! (We head to the back as Kit, Rebecca and WildCat have opened the trap door and they are pouring a barrel of glue out of the SeaDuck and it lands right into the flood of gruel. This makes the gruel flood literally stop and turn into a gooey mess. Cut to the statue with Krackpotkin.)

Professor Krackpotkin: You may have stopped the gruel, but you will never stop me! (The SeaDuck flies overhead and the glue coming out of the plane drops onto the statue and Krackpotkin, causing him to stick to the statue and solidify.) AHHHHHHHHH!! (The SeaDuck flies away into the sky and out of the capital. Cut to inside cockpit with Baloo.)

Baloo: That ought to hold him till Spigot gets here. Now, how about some lunch? I'm starved!

Scene II

(Shot of the docks of Higher For Hire nearing sunset. We head inside at the dinner table as Baloo is wearing his tuxedo with a black bowtie pigging out on mashed potatoes, roast beef, bread and corn along with a glass of water.)

Baloo: (Chewing.) Mmm. Mmm. Oh. I'll be ready for the Pilot's Ball as soon as I get my strength back. (Rebecca comes in; dressed in her dress from Her Chance To Dream.)

Rebecca: I'm touched you tried so hard, Baloo. (She has a package behind her back.) But, appearances don't matter. It's what inside that count.

Baloo: And I'm gonna get as much inside as I can. (Rebecca presents Baloo with a gift box.) Hey, a present! (Baloo grabs the box and opens it.)

Rebecca: Well, you deserve something for trying to get in shape. Even if it was hopeless. (Baloo picks up a red cloth with black hooks on it.)

Baloo: An elastic cummerbund. (Baloo tries it on.)

Rebecca: You don't have to be slim and trim to be a great pilot. The way I look at it, the more you weigh, the more of there is to order around. (Rebecca walks off.)

Baloo: Yeah, Huh? (Baloo looks confused. Baloo then sulks and walks off.)

End of Episode At 21:32

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