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Pizza Pie In The Sky Transcript
Written: 05/21/2016
Updated:
11/20/2021
Act I
Scene I
(Shot outside the Higher For Hire office as we cut to inside with Rebecca standing next to a giant safe.)
Rebecca Cunningham: Now, is there anything I forgotten to do before I go? Let's see, books balanced. Accounts accounted for. Petty cash? (Rebecca twists a knob on the safe and opens it to reveal some coins, a dollar bill and a bag. Rebecca sighs.) Petty. (Baloo comes in.)
Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Hey, I've been looking all over for those. (Baloo goes into the bag and grabs some donuts and uses them as rings.) Want a donut?
Rebecca: This is not a refrigerator. It's a safe, and I intend to fill it with money. (Baloo's donuts now have pink icing.) That's why I'm going to the Better Business Boot Camp.
Baloo: Aw, this business seminar stuff's a bunch of hooey. (Kit has now appeared.) I could tell you how to make money just like that. (He flicks the rings causing Kit to duck and cover.) You need common sense and I've got the most uncommonly common sense. (Rebecca is at the desk packing a suitcase with a green covered booked entitled "How to make money" with four dollar signs on it.)
Rebecca: Well, I could use more dollars and less "cents". (Rebecca closes the suitcase and is walking out of the office carrying two suitcases now. Baloo and Kit wave at her.)
Baloo: Don't worry. We'll take care of everything while you're gone. (Rebecca stops behind the office door and puts the suitcases down.)
Rebecca: Maybe I should just take a correspondence course.
Baloo: Naw, go! Don't you even trust me to run things for two days?
Rebecca: (Arms folded.) Yes, if you just follow one simple instruction.
Baloo: And what's that?
Rebecca: Don't do anything! (Rebecca walks out.)
Baloo: That's what I do when she's here.
Scene II
(Cut to that garden spot on the south seas, Louie's Island. Cut to inside as Baloo and Kit was sitting at the table with Kit kneeling on a chair. On one of the shots; Kit's sweater extends to his ankles and his claw toes are missing.)
Baloo: Hey, I know. Pet coconuts! No, they'd never sell. Wait, wait, a watch chicken! Ha ha! It'll guard your house and give you breakfast, too! Ha ha! (In comes Louie with a tray of drinks as he puts them on the table.)
Louie L'Amour: Here you go, cuz: a lemon sludge and a pomegrante fizz. Heavy on the fizz.
Baloo: Yeah, put'em on my tab, as usual. Say, uh, you're a businessman, Louie. What's the secret of making money?
Louie: Oh, I wish I knew, man. Business has been terrible lately.
Baloo: Aw, not you too. What you need is a partner with a nose for business.
Louie: Yeah? Like who?
Baloo: Like me. Ha ha ha! With my know-how and your whatever, we'd make a fortune.
Kit Cloudkicker: What about me?!
Baloo: Sure. The more, the merrier. (Baloo pets Kit's head.)
Louie: What kind of business could we be partners in?
Baloo: Well, I don't know, Louie; it's hard to think on an empty stomach. How about something to eat?
Louie: Right, man, ha; I've got just the thing. (Louie walks off.)
Kit: I got it! We could fly people's mail to them overnight. That way, they'd get their letters the next day.
Baloo: Naw, it'd never catch on. Who'd pay money just to get their bills faster? Heh. (Kit is not amused by this.) We gotta give people something they can't resist. (A smell of pizze engulfs Baloo's nose. He sniffs the air as Louie comes in holding a pepperoni pizza with sauce and no cheese.)
Louie: One Louie's Special! (Louie puts the pizza on the table.)
Kit: Oh, boy! You make the best pizza anywhere, Louie. (Baloo takes a slice as if the pizza was already cut when it is clearly not.)
Baloo: Yeah! Too bad you have to fly all the way out here to get it. (Baloo flies the slice and then recoils.) Hey, partners?! (Baloo lightly pounds his fist on the table.) That's it!
Scene III
(Cut to inside the kitchen near a telephone as it rings. I should note that it was ringing in between scene changers as Kit answers the phone.)
Kit: Pizza Pie In The Sky, may I take your order? (Cut to Louie taking out a pizza from the oven as Baloo is holding a piece of pizza with pepperoni, tomato sauce and green peppers.)
Baloo: Pizza delivered by air anywhere. Guaranteed hot or your money back. (Baloo eats the slice of pizza.) I tell you Louie; an idea like this can't help making money. (Cut to a table with a pizza on it as Baloo tries to grab another slice of pizza; but Louie smacks the hand away with a spatula.)
Louie: Yeah, if somebody doesn't eat up all the profits. With your big mouth, I'm gonna run out of dough and toppings, too! In the pizza business, you can never have too many toppings. (Louie flips pizza dough up.) Heh ha ha ha! Except for anchovies. Nobody likes anchovies and it's a good thing too; 'cause the only time I tried to eat'em, I.... (The pizza dough is stuck in mid air.)
Baloo: Gee, Louie; I hate to a miss a good anchovy story, but it looks like we got some deliveries to make. (Kit comes in with ten pizza boxes and Kit walks out while Baloo snaps his fingers.) Keep the pizzas flying. Don't worry, Louie. Before you know it, we'll be back with the dough. Heh ha ha ha! The spending kind. (Louie looks at the hard camera and the dough splats on his head.)
Scene IV
(Cut to the SeaDuck taking off from Louie's as a pizza on wings is painted on the right side of the SeaDuck. So the SeaDuck flies to the icy North Pole and then lands under an ice floe below an igloo on top of said floe.)
Kit: (Looking out from the pilot's window.) I bet nobody's ever delivered pizza to an ice floe before. (Baloo opens the navigator's seat and jumps out onto the ice flow with a box of pizza in his hands.)
Baloo: That's 'cause no one has the good sense to advertise in Better Igloos & Ice Gardens. (Baloo runs to the igloo and knocks on the igloo. Baloo looks inside.) Hey, someone named Nanuk order a pizza? (Out comes a polar bear in a parka.) Whoa! How's the weather up there?
Nanuk: Cold. (Nanuk grabs the pizza and gives Baloo the cash to check out. Nanuk checks out the pizza.) You call this large pizza?!
Baloo: Aw, stop blubbering. (Checking his pink paper notebook.) It says here you ordered a small pizza.
Nanuk: I ordered large pizza! (Nanuk slams the pizza on top of Baloo's head as the tomato sauce splats on Baloo's head as well.)
Baloo: The customer's always right. Especially large customers. (Nanuk takes his money back from Baloo.)
Scene V
(Cut to the SeaDuck flying stage left and then seconds later fly stage right as we jump cut to the igloo as Baloo runs in with the pizza while Nanuk is waiting for him in front of the igloo.)
Baloo: Pizza Pie In The Sky: If you've got cold cash, we got hot pizza.
Nanuk: I thought this was guaranteed delivery in two hours! It already midnight.
Baloo: Midnight?! Heh heh; are you crazy?! The sun's still up.
Nanuk: This Land Of Midnight Sun and it's cold! (We see Nanuk has the pizza and it's encased in ice.)
Baloo: Oh, it's not cold, it's just room temperature. (Nanuk growls.) Er, eh; I'll be right back!
Nanuk: And don't forget the anchovies! (Baloo runs away as Nanuk rolls the pizza on the snow and the pizza becomes a snowball. Baloo yells and gets engulfed by the snowball. The snowball rolls down and splats on the back tailsection of the SeaDuck and then we get a three second freeze frame of impact as we jump cut to Baloo on the left wing somehow as Kit is looking from the pilot's side window.)
Kit: Wh-what was wrong with it this time?!
Baloo: Er, eh; nothing a blowtorch wouldn't cure.
Kit: You mean we have to bring him another pizza?!
Baloo: No way around it, kiddo. The customer is always right.
Scene VI
(Cut to the SeaDuck flying stage left and then returning stage right. Jump cut to Baloo with the pizza walking towards the igloo. Nanuk is waiting for him.)
Baloo: Here you go, one large pizza guaranteed fresh and hot. (Naunk takes the pizza and gives the cash to Baloo. Baloo kisses the cash as Nanuk opens the pizza box.)
Nanuk: Hey, there's no anchovies.
Baloo: Ah, Louie must have forgotten them. Well, no problem. (Baloo brings out a butterfly net and smacks it into the water to catch a big fish as he plops it onto the pizza.) Nothing fresher than that. Ha ha! (Nanuk licks his chops anyway as we cut back to them in shadow.) I thought Rebecca was the only person in the world who liked anchovies. (Sadly; a giant black whale jumps up and eats the pizza from Nanuk's hands.) I guess that makes two of you. (Nanuk is not happy as Baloo isn't either.) Maybe three. (Nanuk grabs the money.) Aw, what's wrong now? You aren't gonna blame me for this, are you? (Nanuk punches Baloo in the face off-screen and Baloo goes flying and falls into the water. Kit is looking out the pilot's window as Baloo pops up.)
Kit: What happened this time? (Baloo shivers.)
Baloo: You wouldn't believe it. (Baloo swims to the SeaDuck.) But if you see a killer whale with mozzarella on his breath; tell him he owes us five bucks! (Baloo shivers again as Kit checks the gauge.)
Kit: We've used four hundred gallons of gas trying to deliver one pizza. (Kit sighs as Baloo comes into the cockpit of the SeaDuck; wearing a aqua green blanket and a red ice pack on his head. He is shivering.)
Baloo: Our trouble is we started out too small. Now, if we're gonna show Becky we can make it in big business; we gotta think big. (Baloo sits down and flies the blanket back.)
Scene VII
(Cut to the SeaDuck flying over Cape Suzette harbor as we cut to the cockpit of the SeaDuck as the logo has now switched from the right side to the left side.)
Baloo: The secret to every successful business: advertising. (The tailsection of the SeaDuck opens and pizzas fly out of the back over the city. Cut to a dog furry in work gear on a power pole with a screwdriver as a pizza falls on the live wires and we hear sparks. Pizza flies down onto the street as one of them hits the stop/go lights and this causes a truck and a car to crash into each other off-screen and we only see the impact. Somehow the windshield wipers of the blue car still work. Cut to the health department building as a pig furry with grey hair, blue trenchcoat, blue shirt, blue tie, grey pants and shoes opens the doors to the building and slowly walks down the stairs. A pizza splats on top of his head. He flicks the pizza up and is not amused to see the SeaDuck having pizzas thrown out of the back of it. He takes a notepad and makes some notes. Cut to the cockpit as Kit is looking out of the window.)
Kit: Is this mass marketing or mess marketing?
Baloo: Heh ha! You just wait. With this promotional giveaway, the orders should start rolling in. (Baloo sets his feet on the SeaDuck again. The radio is on.)
Louie: (Transmitter.) Louie calling SeaDuck. Come in, Baloo!
Baloo: See? That's probably an order right now. Heh heh. Loud and clear Louie!
Louie: (Transmitter.) Great news, Baloo. (Cut to inside the kitchen with Louie on the microphone wearing a chef's hat.) We just got a big order for lunch: two hundred pizzas, one with anchovies. But about those anchovies, man...
Baloo: (Transmitter.) Two hundred pizzas?! Ha ha! We're in business now, kiddo! We'd better stop off on the way to Louie's and get some anchovies. (The SeaDuck is flying towards the cliff guns which is odd considering the next scene is at Higher For Hire.)
Kit: How?! We spent all our money on gas.
Scene VIII
(Cut to a shot of Higher For Hire as we head inside the office as Baloo opens the safe.)
Baloo: Well, not having money's no problem as long as you know somebody who does.
Kit: Isn't this a little like stealing? (Kit grabs onto Baloo's arm; but Baloo pushes it aside.)
Baloo: Bite your tongue, kiddo. I'm not taking any money. I'm just gonna borrow it; ah, without telling Rebecca. A great gal, Becky; but no business sense. Think of this as a small business loan. (Baloo takes out a dollar bill.) A very small business loan. (Baloo and Kit open the door and walk out of the office.)
Kit: We better try Bob's Discount House of Anchovies. (When Baloo comes out; Baloo is literally taller than the door and he ducks underneath the door for some reason.)
Baloo: Yeah, hope he's having another scratch and dent sale. (Pan over as we see the health inspector hiding behind the building taking more notes. He writes as if he's wiggling his pen into dead air.)
Scene IX
(Cut to a building that says "Fish House" despite it being called Bob's Discount House of Anchovies by Baloo and Kit in the previous scene. Pan over to Baloo and Kit walking towards the entrance from the docks.)
Baloo: Lucky for us, Bob's Discount House of Fish has the best deals in town. (Even though it was called Bob's House of Anchovies by Kit in the previous scene. Cut to inside at the bar counter with a pelican furry wiping the counter wearing a chef's cap and a blue sweater as he is humming the scat song.)
Bob The Fish Salesman: Morning!
Baloo: I wanna see a man about a fish.
Bob: Well, well, fine, fine. Well, fine.
Baloo: Anchovies, and make it snappy.
Bob: Oh, yes. (Takes out a notepad and takes his out of nowhere pencil and writes.) Then by that you mean you want anchovies, is that it?
Baloo: Yeah, anchovies. Little guys with salad oil all over their bodies.
Bob: Ah, yes, yes of course, I see. Anchovies. Yeah. You're absolutely sure? (Stares directly at Kit for no reason.)
Baloo: This is Bob's Discount House of Fish, isn;'t it?
Bob: Why, yes it is.
Baloo: And you do sell anchovies, right?
Bob: Of course, just not today you see. We're fresh out. (Kit digs out a dead fish from a bucket of water and is repulsed by it, putting it back. Bob is looking for something.)
Kit: Fresh? In this place?
Bob: I have some very nice catfish. (Takes a catfish from the pot and shows it to Baloo.)
Baloo: No. (Bob takes out a pink fish which is not flounder fish.)
Bob: Flounder?
Baloo: No. (Bob throws the fish back into the pot.)
Bob: Pollack?
Baloo: No. (Bob brings out a green colored fish.)
Bob: Wahoo?
Baloo: No thanks!
Bob: Do you feel like a big crab?
Baloo: Not yet; but I'm getting there.
Bob: Ah, I have just the thing! (Bob goes over and brings out a brown octopus.) Perhaps I could interest you in a tasty octopus. Mmmm-mmm, yum, yum. (The octopus is alive and a tentacle slaps Baloo in the face. Baloo is not amused as he pulls the sticky tentacle out of the his face.)
Baloo: (Points to the conveniently placed sign as he grabs Bob by the throat.) Look, Bob; your sign says "Special Today: Anchovies!"
Kit: Come on, Baloo. We'll buy a can of tuna. Nobody'll know.
Baloo: Uh-uh! I came in for anchovies, I'm going out with anchovies! Now, businessman to businessman; are you saying you're completely and totally out of anchovies?!
Bob: Well, I do have a few left.
Baloo: I thought so.
Bob: They've gone a bit off. (Baloo puts the cash down on the counter.)
Baloo: I don't care!
Bob: But...
Baloo: Gimme!
Bob: Right! But you won't like them! (Bob walks off.)
Baloo: That boy's been breathing too much brine.
Scene X
(Cut to inside the kitchen as Louie dives into a wooden basket of tomatoes and starts stomping then with his feet.)
Louie: Geromino! (Baloo and Kit walk inside as Baloo has the barrel of anchovies.)
Baloo: What are you doing, Louie?! (As Baloo and Kit walk inside, the health inspector is upside down outside the doorway taking notes.)
Louie: I'm make tomato sauce the old fashion way. I stomp it!
Kit: You better stomp fast, Louie; if you're gonna make two hundred pizzas by lunch time. (Kit checks his watch.)
Louie: Oh, yeah, fuzzy; about that one that's supposed to have the anchovies, man... (Baloo puts the barrel down on the ground.)
Baloo: Relax, Louie. I got it covered. Some of'em are a little irregular, but I got the whole barrel for a dollar.
Louie: What are you talking about?
Baloo: Anchovies! (Baloo opens the barrel as a green smell comes out.) Oh, can I smell a bargin or what? (Louie sniffs and then stammers, looks punch drunk and dizzy.)
Louie: Oh, wow.... ( Louie drops flat on his back, knocked silly and dizzy.)
Baloo: Oh, I must have lowered his overhead too fast.
Kit: I think he's sick.
Baloo: Hmmm, he does look a little green around the grills.
Kit: Maybe he's allergic to something.
Louie: (Wheezes.) Anchovy...anchov...anchovies... (Louie's eyes get crossed before he falls back.)
Kit: Oh, if Louie's sick; then who's gonna make all those pizzas?
Baloo: Yeah, and how am I gonna pay back Rebecca?
End Of Act I At 10:31
Act II
Scene I
(Cut to outside Louie's as a cement mixer is mixing dough. Zoom out to Baloo in the truck with Kit watching.)
Baloo: Well, the dough ought to be mixed up by now. How we doing for time? (Kit is now holding a pocket watch with a golden rope on it.)
Kit: Well, okay; if we can make two hundred pizzas in one hour.
Baloo: No problem. (Baloo pulls a lever on the cement mixer.) All you gotta do is think big. (The dough pours onto the ground as Kit runs it over flat with a steamroller.)
Kit: Now, that's what I call making pizza dough in no time flat. (Cut to the health inspector taking notes cringing at what Kit said. He then notices the SeaDuck flying in the air as it is splattering tomato sauce on the dough and some of it lands on the health inspector. Cut to Baloo in the cockpit on a microphone.)
Baloo: How was that, Kit? (Kit is shown on the ground with a wired transmitter.)
Kit: Off target, ten degrees.
Baloo: I never could hit anything with tomato sauce. I'll try to do better with the toppings. Switching to auto-pilot. (Head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Baloo puts a tire iron across the stick and heads to the back. Cut to the health inspector wiping off the sauce from his face. Cut to the SeaDuck as Baloo is slicing pepperoni off the propellers of the SeaDuck. This causes pepperoni and mozza cheese shreds to fall on the health inspector and bury him.)
Health Inspector: Hey! (Cut back to Baloo on the transmitter.)
Baloo: Okay, kiddo; it's all yours. (Cut back to Kit bouncing on a pogostick with a trashcan bouncing and cutting pizza rounds. Cut to a shot of Louie's as the SeaDuck lands at the dock.) Now we're cookin'! (Kit groans as we see him carrying dozens of pizza rounds without sauce on them on the docks on the far shot and then they show tomato sauce on the closeup shot.)
Kit: Afraid not. We don't have enough time to cook the pizzas and deliver them. Aw, too bad we can't do both at the same time.
Baloo: You're a genius! Surprised I didn't think of it.
Scene II
(Cut to inside Louie's bedroom as Louie is in bed under the covers groaning with a icepack on his head and a thermometer in his mouth.)
Louie: Oh, man! Anchovies! Anchovies! I hate anchovies! (Pan over to the door as Kit and Baloo are walking out of Louie's with the oven.)
Kit: I wish Louie could go with us.
Baloo: Yeah, he could help carry this oven. (Baloo and Kit walk into the back of the SeaDuck with the oven.) Now this pizza business is really gonna take off. (The SeaDuck engines are turned on and the SeaDuck flies off as the pizza toppings all fly off the health inspector.)
Health Inspector: That's it! That is enough! I am phoning for reinforcements! (The health inspector walks off stage left as we cut to inside Louie's bedroom as on the desk there is a conveniently placed telephone.)
Louie: The anchovies, oh; they're everywhere! There's millions of'em! (Cut to the health inspector climbing inside the bedroom via a window.) Slimy little fins and those beady little eyes. (The health inspector jumps onto the bed and tries to grab the phone. He grabs the phone.) My heyuck! (Louie grabs the health inspector by the tie.) I can...I can almost smell'em. (Somehow; the health inspector has the themometer in his mouth which Louie grabs and puts it in his mouth. Louie is sweating like crazy.) Right in front of me!
Health Inspector: (The shot they showed the Health Inspector turning into a fish was completely edited out by Toon Disney because the way Louie grabbed him by the tie appeared to look like a noose.) Hey, let go of me! (The themometer bulb pops from Louie's mouth.)
Louie: Pooey! Holy pepperoni! It's the king of the anchovies! And it talks! (Everything between the shot of the Health Inspector with the noose to before he says he'll never be taken alive is cut by Toon Disney. Even though everything after the hallucation shot doesn't show the noose at all.) Why, you'll never take me alive, fish-face! (Louie throws the ice pack into the inspector's face as Louie grabs onto the railing and starts bouncing off the health inspector.) Take that! And some of this!
Health Inspector: I just want to use the phone!
Louie: Ah, don't job me, you overgrown guppy! (Disney Captions used jive; when the audio clearly said job, which makes more sense since "job" usually means "con" in that context.) Woo-ha! (The bed is completely destroyed in the process as the inspector shoves Louie down onto the bed.)
Health Inspector: You idiot! I'm not an anchovy! (The inspector brings out a fish and shows it to Louie.) This is an anchovy!
Louie: Oh, mama! (Louie goes crazy as the bed collapses and the inspector crawls away from the bed from underneath the covers.)
Health Inspector: When this is over, I'm transferring to an easier job...with the bomb sqaud! ( The "...with the bomb squad" part was cut from Toon Disney. The health inspector gets up and walks out of the bedroom as we cut to the inspector on the beach getting into a blue/white plane with the propeller sticking into the back instead of the front.)
Scene III
(Sky shot of the SeaDuck with smoke coming out of it. The health inspector comes in following it. Cut to inside the cockpit as Baloo is piloting the plane with his feet again.)
Baloo: Heh, you know, there's something really exciting about getting a new business off the ground. (Cut to Kit wearing a chef's hat and a shuffler as he puts a pizza in the oven.)
Kit: Yeah, exciting. (Kit closes the oven and sighs. He spitters and wipes his head as we hear fire crackling. Kit turns around and then starts using a pizza box to fan the smoke. Cut to the SeaDuck flying with smoke coming out the back. Cut back to the cockpit with Baloo piloting the SeaDuck with his feet again.)
Baloo: Yeah, before you know it; we'll be rolling in dough. And then, Becky will see who really knows how to run a business. (Kit comes into the cockpit holding the pizza grabber.)
Kit: Where in Cape Suzette are we supposed to deliver these pizzas, anyway? (Baloo is shown reading a piece of paper.)
Baloo: It's that new hotel outside of town, the Takeover Hostel.
Kit: The Takeover Hostel?! Isn't that where Rebecca's business seminar is? (Baloo pushes back in the chair groaning.)
Baloo: Oh man; I should've known! Things were going too good.
Kit: Oh, I wonder what's gonna happen next. (We see the smoke coming into the cockpit. We hear fire crackling sounds as Kit and Baloo cough in the cockpit of the SeaDuck.) There's a grease fire in the pizza oven.
Baloo: (Coughing.) I can't see a thing, Li'l Britches! Which way are we heading?
Kit: (Coughing.) Look out, Poppa Bear!
Baloo: (Coughing.) We gotta put the fire out! Get some water! (Kit goes over to a barrel and uses a bucket to get some water.)
Kit: (Coughing.) You can't put a grease fire out with water! (Kit runs to Baloo.)
Baloo: (Coughing.) Oh yes, you can! (Kit throws the water onto Baloo and Baloo is not amused by this. Cut to the back as Baloo is pushing the oven (His sleeves are navy blue trimmed for no reason.) out of the back door of the SeaDuck as it passes a cruise ship. However; the oven falls into the drink which showed absolutely nothing for miles. Cut back to the SeaDuck flying in the clouds.) When I put a fire out, I put it out. (Baloo goes back into the cockpit as Kit is sitting in the navigator's chair.)
Kit: Baloo, how are we gonna cook the pizzas without the oven?
Baloo: Well, we'll just, uh...uh...Hmm. (Baloo ponders this one over.)
Scene IV
(Shot of the SeaDuck flying in the clouds.)
Baloo: There's only one way I know to cook two hundred pizzas in five minutes. All set? (Head in the cockpit as Baloo is in the pilot's chair tying an ice block on his head as we cut to Kit in the back with the pizzas, with an ice block on his head and is wearing ice skates.)
Kit: Ready when you are, Baloo! (The SeaDuck flies towards an enrupting volcano.)
Baloo: Guaranteed hot or your money back!
End Of Act II At 15:01
Act III
Scene I
( Close up shot of the active volcano as the SeaDuck flies towards it.)
Baloo: He-hey; it takes a hot pilot to fly through a volcano. (Head into the back as Kit is hopping on the ground.)
Kit: How much longer, Baloo?! (Kit goes into the cockpit.) I'm starting to feel like an anchovy; and I hate anchovies.
Baloo: Ah, you know what they say: If you can't stand the heat, bail out of the kitchen. (The SeaDuck is flying inside the volcano as scorch marks are on the SeaDuck already Kit sniffs something from the back.)
Kit: I smell something.
Baloo: (Sniffs.) Sulfur and brimstone?
Kit: No, it's hot pepperoni. (Sniffs.) And one with anchovies.
Baloo: Heh ha ha ha! The pizza's done! Heh ha ha! We did it, kiddo. (The SeaDuck flies through and then tries to climb up and then it starts to drop.)
Kit: We're not gonna make it. The pizzas are too heavy! (Baloo grunts as he pulls up on the stick while Kit is holding onto him.)
Baloo: Must be the extra cheese! (The SeaDuck flies around and up as the engines completely stall.)
Kit: Baloo, we gotta dump those pizzas!
Baloo: No way! If we dump'em, our business goes bust!
Kit: Would you rather be bust or dust?! (Kit has lost the ice skates now (and is doing his insecure pose); but gets them back soon enough.)
Baloo: Okay; see what you can jettison.
Kit: Now you're talking! (Kit runs to the back.)
Baloo: But don't touch those pizzas! (Cut to the backdoor of the SeaDuck as it opens and Kit throws out dozens of dozens of objects out of the SeaDuck, including the kitchen sink.) Hey! Not my bottlecap collection! (Cut to Kit hanging onto a rope as he is about to toss the bottle cap box out; but thinks better of it. But some bottlecaps fall out anyway.)
Kit: Uh-oh! (Kit turns around.) Baloo! I think we gave the volcano a little indigestion. (Baloo is still pulling the stick up.)
Baloo: (Grunts.) Glad we didn't toss in the pepperoni. It might've got an ulcer. (Kit crawls back up as there is an out of nowhere ice block Kit is pulling.)
Kit: (Grunts.) Except for the pizzas and us, this spare block of ice is the last thing that's not... nailed down.
Baloo: (Grunts.) Did you say ice? Ah, Kit, when I tell ya, pitch that cube overboard. (Kit grabs the ice cube and goes to the side window.)
Kit: Ready!
Baloo: Let her rip! (Kit pushes the ice cube out of the window.)
Kit: Wait a sec; isn't that gonna make a lot of steam? (The ice cube hits the magma and it causes an explosion and the concussion pushes the SeaDuck over and it bounces off some rocks; but ultimately flies over the volcano and out. Kit and Baloo shout like crazy.) Jrrrr, my....Nose up, Baloo! Nose up! (The SeaDuck spins in the cockpit like a washing machine.)
Baloo: Which way is up?! (Baloo is wearing oven mitts out of nowhere as a peanut butter sandwich somehow lands on the mitt.) Huh, I've been looking for this since last month. (Baloo eats the sandwhich; gets repulsed by the taste and throws it away as the SeaDuck is awkwardly flying in the skies. We head inside as Kit comes back in the cockpit and it appears that outside, they are still inside the volcano. This is fixed in the next shot.)
Kit: We made it! (Embraces Baloo.)
Baloo: Hey, no sweat. (Kit sits in his seat as the SeaDuck is scorched.) Now all we gotta do is deliver these pizzas without Rebecca seeing us. (Steam comes out of Kit's rear end and then he proceeds to jump into the air like a superball.)
Kit: YEOW!
Scene II
(Cut to a shot of the Takeover Hostel hotel which is a hotel somewhere near some mountains and has a front dock.)
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Business is competition! It's winners and losers! (Cut to a tiger furry wearing army gear.) Do you wanna be losers?! (We see the tiger on the docks as Rebecca, the goat inspector from A Fuel Dollars More in a red suit, a rhino, a brown wart hog, and a hippo standing at attention.)
Rebecca/Goat Inspector/Hippo/Warthog/Rhino: Sir, no, sir!
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Do you wanna be winners?!
Rebecca/Other Students: Sir, yes, sir!
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Well, let's hear you be lean, mean business machines! (All of the male students roar badly; but Rebecca stands there not looking thrilled by this. The teacher sees Rebecca not roar.)
Rebecca: I just wanted to learn how to make a little extra money. (The teacher gets in Rebecca's face.)
Better Business Seminar Teacher: I can't hear you! (Rebecca smiles awkwardly, clears throat and coughs.)
Rebecca: Grrrrr.
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Timid, huh? Well, that kind of namby-pamby stuff won't cut it in the business world. (The teacher paces around the docks.) You gotta stand up on your hind legs and make a big noise! (We then hear the SeaDuck engines as it flies overhead causing the teacher to scream and duck. Also; the scorching is gone from the plane. Somehow; the cross winds causes the teacher to fly backwards and free fall into the water. The rhino also loses his hat in the process and feels his head.)
Rebecca: My, that was a big noise. (The teacher gets up, wipes his coat and clears his throat.)
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Lunch. Seminar dismissed. (The teacher puts his hat on and gets splooshed by water as a result.)
Scene III
(Head inside the hallway of the Takeover Hostel complete with red carpet, red chair and gold colored walls and ceilings. Baloo and Kit walk in holding dozens of pizza boxes apiece.)
Baloo: (Grunting.) So far, so good kiddo. Now keep your eyes peeled for...whoops. (Baloo and Kit hide behind the boxes as Rebecca shows up in the hallway.)
Rebecca: Did you remember to make one of those with anchovies? (Baloo plays misdirection as he gives one of the pizzas to Rebecca. Rebecca then turns around and walks away. Baloo and Kit breathe a sigh of relief. In comes the teacher.)
Better Business Seminar Teacher: Well, I guess nobody needs to teach you guys how to make money. (The teacher brings out dollar bills.) Here you go: Five hundred dollars. (Baloo takes the wad of cash.)
Baloo: Thanks! (Baloo tosses some of the pizza boxes to the teacher as he grabs them as Kit puts his down and both of them run away stage left.)
Better Business Seminar Teacher: I always like to end the seminar with a free lunch. It challenge their preconceived notions. (Baloo stops on a dime in freeze position as his cap comes clean off for no reason.)
Baloo: End the seminar?! Aw, that means Becky's going back to Higher For Hire.
Kit: The first thing she'll do is check the safe. We better put that dollar back.
Baloo: Ah, Becky won't care about that one little dollar...when we show her this.
Kit: Baloo, what happens when we show her the SeaDuck?
Scene IV
(Back at Higher For Hire as we see Baloo on the left wing of the SeaDuck pouring oven cleaner everywhere.)
Baloo: All right, kiddo; start scrubbin'. I'll get more oven cleaner. (Cut to the edge of the wing as Kit is standing with a mop and a bucket of water. Baloo walks off.)
Kit: What we need is a self-cleaning plane. (Kit mops up the wing.)
Scene V
(Inside the office of Higher For Hire as Baloo and Kit walk in with buckets and mops. They set the cleaning stuff down.)
Kit: (exhales) I bet the SeaDuck hasn't been that clean since you last flew through a waterfall.
Baloo: Heh, it's worth it, through; just to see Becky's face when she eyeballs this herd of shaboozies! (Shows the wad of cash.) Heh ha ha ha! Talk about being surprised. (Baloo puts the cash in his pocket and knocks on the safe door. The safe door opens and out comes the health inspector as Baloo recoils in shock.) Yah! (Kit gasps.)
Health Inspector: Thought you were home safe, eh? I'm with the health department. Flat, circular foods division. I'm throwing the book at yous two.
Baloo: For what? (The health inspector brings out his notepad with pencil and reads it.)
Health Inspector: Flying a restaurant without a permit, one hundred dollar fine. Operating heavy equipment without a chef's license, one hundred dollar fine. Dropping tomato sauce (which is on his tie) from a height greater than thirty feet, two hundred dollar fine. Not to mention...
Baloo: Enough already. What do all these fines add up to?
Health Inspector: The total comes to four hundred ninty-nine dollars. (Baloo takes out the wads of cash and kisses them.)
Baloo: Goodbyes, boys. (The health inspector takes the money.) Write if you find work.
Health Inspector: Next time yous decide go into business, check with us first. Remember, we're here to help you. (The health inspector turns around and walks out of the office.)
Baloo: Yeah, to help yourself to our money. Well, at least we broke even. (Baloo is about to close the safe as Rebecca now walks in.)
Rebecca: Get your hands off that safe! (Rebecca puts the suitcases down.) Dipping into the petty cash again, Baloo?
Baloo: Hey, how was the seminar, Rebecca?
Rebecca: The seminar? Oh, it was... very... interesting. I learned all about how to make a business growl...uh...I mean, grow. In fact, I came up with a great idea about how to make money. We had pizza today for lunch, okay. It was delivered by a real bunch of losers. Filthy plane, disgusting delivery people. Anyway, if a company like that can make money delivering pizza; then Higher For Hire could make a fortune! (We head a thud off-screen which happens at the exact same time Rebecca lands after jumping.) Baloo? Kit? (We see Baloo and Kit on their backs on the ground as Baloo groans. Kit's hat is off and on the ground.) Ah, some people just can't handle success.
End Of Episode At 21:25
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