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The Road to Macadamia Transcript
Written: 05/05/2016
Updated:
12/05/2021
Act I
Scene I
(Shot of some rock formation in a desert. Pan up to the SeaDuck flying overhead as Baloo is singing Louie's scat song. Head into the cockpit as Baloo is not piloting the SeaDuck while Louie is checking a map while shuffling playing cards. His hat is on the top of the chair as Baloo is in the back checking the cargo. He apparently takes out a chocolate bar from one of the boxes and comes in.)
Louie L'Amour: Hey, Baloo; I ever show you my mind-reading trick? (Baloo unpeels a chocolate bar and heads back in the cockpit.)
Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII: Counting today? A million and two times.
Louie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this time; I'll get it right. (Baloo eats the chocolate bar and throws away the wrapper as he sits down.)
Baloo: Optimist!
Louie: (Shows off the cards to Baloo.) Pick a card, any card! (Baloo licks his finger and picks a card from the hand. It's the ace of spades as he puts the card back in the hand.)
Baloo: Floor me, Normy. (Louie puts on a pink turban with a green feather and a red jewel on the front.)
Louie: Shambala shambelly; the stars are gonna tell me. (Louie waves his hand over the cards. We see the full hand and all the cards are the ace of spades.) It was the -- ace of spades. Am I right?
Baloo: Well, darn my socks! How ever did you guess? (Baloo gently elbows Louie.)
Louie: "The Amazing Louie" never guesses, man; he knows. (Grabs a crystal ball with his feet and looks into it.) Okay, now for my next trick. I'll tell you how far we are from Macadamia, (Baloo removes the crowbar from the flight stick and throws it away.) without the aid of instruments. (Louie looks through the crystal ball with his hands.) Mumbo-jumbo and a side of gumbo, I can see it in the stars! (Louie puts his hand through his eyes.) We are exact-tly one hundred miles away. (Of course he's looking at the fuel gauge.)
Baloo: That's a hundred gallons, Swamy! You peeked at the gas gauge.
Louie: (Sounding indigant.) Me?! Peek?! Try to fool my one and only bestest pal?!
Baloo: Heh heh, this that a trick question? (Baloo puts his feet on the flight stick.)
Louie: Okay, I'll prove there's no hankie in my pankie. Blindfold me, man! (Louie brings out a white cloth as we see the SeaDuck begin to spiral down while Baloo blindfold's Louie.)
Baloo: Well, how's that? Oh, come on now! Make up your mind, granny or uncle? (The SeaDuck heads straight for a stone arch. So Baloo uses his foot to push the flight stick up while both he and Louie were screaming.)
Louie: Tie a knot! Try a granny. OW! Uncle! Man! Whoaaaa! (The SeaDuck flies through the arch and then hits the sand. More screaming ensues in the cockpit. The SeaDuck stops on the sand, the navigator's side door opens and out comes Baloo flopping on the sand.)
Baloo: (Sighs.) I must be alive, 'cause I hurt too much to be dead. {A camel then comes out of nowhere and licks his face. The camel grunts as Louie comes out and somehow got his hat back on his head.}
Louie: Was that you?
Baloo: Nah, it's the welcome wagon. (We pan over to see a tent and two camels. Somehow; one of them is eating grass in a desert. There is a wagon filled with stuff beside the camel.) Hey! We're in Macadamia! Heh ha ha! (We see the Middle Eastern city of Macadamia in the distance with a sign that I cannot make out due to the haze effect.) How's that for door-to-door service?! (Baloo gets up.)
Louie: Next time; try parking closer to the crub. (Baloo brushes himself off.)
Baloo: Aw, it's not so far away. (The camel grabs Baloo's pilot cap.)
Louie: Yeah, but that sand looks mighty hot and my tootsies are real particular. (Louie climbs on Baloo's back as Baloo steals his cap back and the camel walks off stage right.)
Baloo: Okay, I'm thinkin'; I'm thinkin'. (Baloo walks towards the sign. Baloo ponders it over.) Say, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? (Baloo looks over to the camels as there is grass growing in the sand that the camels are eating.)
Louie: Yes, and that worries me.
Baloo: (Laughs.) Frenchy not, hot and tot. (Baloo puts Louie on the hump of the camel eating grass.) I'll go negotiate with the local taxi service. (Baloo is about to walk off stage left; but then returns with his hands out.) Um, incidentally; you got any cash on you?
Louie: Why did I know that was coming? (Louie goes to his shirt and brings out a pink purse. He opens it and butterflies fly out of it for no reason.)
Scene II
(Cut to shot of hazy desert. Pan over to Baloo and Louie. Louie is riding the hump of the camel while Baloo is lying in the back relaxing.)
Baloo: Well, heh heh; here we are at last. On the road to Macadamia.
Louie: Huh, that sounds suspiciously like a song cue to me.
Baloo: Is that a request?
Louie: No, I was warning the camels so they could cover their ears. (The camel grunts.) See, your reputation precedes you.
Scene III
(Head to Macadamia outside the castle as there are canopies lined everywhere with wagons and jars; but there is no one attending to them. Paper and sand whip around as Baloo and Louie walk in.)
Louie: Dig! Last time we were here, Macadamia was knee deep in dough. (The camel wagon is with them as we see a yellow chicken looking scared and clucking as three middle eastern coyotes with knives and forks run towards the yellow chicken with their tongues hanging out. The crowd is shouting as the chicken flees stage left with the three coyotes chasing them. One of the boxes shatters as Baloo and Louie are stunned.)
Baloo: Well, it looks like the dough ran low!
Scene IV
(Cut to the gate of Macadamia as we see Baloo with Louie on his shoulders as the camel wagon is standing there behind them. Louie knocks on the door. The double doors open as Baloo and Louie take off their hat and put them on their chests.)
Baloo: I got a shipment here for the King Of Macadamia.
Louie: And I'm picking up a load of chocolate covered nuts for Louie's Place. (The guards are rhinos with navy blue vests, orange turbans and orange/peach pants with blue belt trim. The door knocker is a dog furry even though the king of Macadamia is actually a rabbit. The rhinos shove Louie and Baloo away as they go to the wagon.) Are you the concierge? (They grab the camel and the wagon.)
Baloo: Handle with care, guys; I've been known to tip heavily. (The rhino guards carry the stuff into the castle.)
Louie: Not in my lifetime.
Baloo: (Stops the rhino guard with the camel.) Ah excuse me, I got a bill here for, um...(Baloo shows the bill and the rhino guard growls in his face. The guard walks into the castle.)
Louie: Has he had his shots?
Baloo: Hey, who's gonna pay for this?
Louie: And what about my chocolate... (Louie shows off a bill and then the doors close up.) ...nuts. (Baloo and Louie look at each other and then start knocking on the doors violently.)
Baloo: Open up!
Louie: Hey, come on; what's the deal, man?!
Baloo/Louie: Who's in charge here?! Come on! Let us in! (The door opens and we see a vulture furry with a purple fez cap with golden trim in the middle and a red jewel in the center. He is also wearing a purple robe. The two rhino guards are to his sides.)
Baloo: What're you, the doorman?!
Chancellor Trample: Chancellor Trample, special assistant to the King.
Baloo: Ah, you guys owe me a hundred ninty two dollars and twelve cents!
Louie: (Baloo and Louie try to get inbetween the guards; but the guards stop them.) And ten bags of chocolate-covered nuts I paid for!
Trample: Don't worry, I'll handle this. (Trample grabs the bills and tears them up.) I'm sorry, the kingdom is broke.
Baloo/Louie: Broke?
Trample: Oh, yes. I'm afraid King Amok has squandered all our money. We are destitude. Busted. Tapped out. (In the background; we see the yellow chicken still being chased by the three coyotes. One of them might be Dijon from Ducktales for all I know.) And speaking of out, you know the way. (Trample turns around and walks away as Baloo and Louie are grabbed by the rhino guards.)
Baloo/Louie: Uh-oh. (Cut to the desert near the SeaDuck as the camel is still chewing grass. He hear a kicking sound and screaming as the camel looks up and then we hear crashing off-screen. There is even someone screaming like Goofy from the classic shorts. We see Baloo and Louie lawndarted into the sand with their heads buried in said sand.)
Baloo: We're not taking this lying down!
Scene V
(Cut to the double doors of the gate as we bang on them once again. The doors open to reveal Baloo and Louie wearing blue and orange suits, bowties and hats. Baloo and Louie tip their hats.)
Baloo: Howdy-do, we represent Floss-O-Matic; (Louie shows off a suitcase and opens it to reveal dentures and flossing instruments.) the dental care tool of tomorrow that you can own today. (Baloo shows off the dentures and flossing tool.)
Louie: (Closes the suitcase.) Can we speak with the monarch of the house? (The rhino guards grab Baloo and Louie and there is a kicking sound as we see Baloo and Louie fly out of Macadamia screaming. More Goofy yelling as Baloo and Louie land to the right of the camel instead of the left side like last time.)
Scene VI
(Head to near the gate as we see Baloo and Louie borrowing under the sand to get under the gate and inside the castle area. They bang into a castle wall on the way in and then pop up wearing mining lights on their heads.)
Baloo: Okay, Louie; all clear!
Louie: You sure?
Baloo: Positive! (Louie pops up as the rhino guards appear right behind them. Cut to Louie and Baloo flying in the air as a jackhammer, shovel, lamp, stick and pick axe all go flying with them. More Goofy-equse screaming as we cut to the camel eating grass. He hears them, looks up and this causes Baloo and Louie to stop falling and stay in midair. The camel side steps them and then both Baloo and Louie crash into the sand. Louie gets up groaning. )
Louie: (Rubbing his head.) If I could open my eyes, I know I'd be seeing stars! (Baloo pops up.)
Baloo: The stars!
Louie: Don't tell me; you got another plan. (Baloo snaps his fingers and slaps Louie in the back.)
Baloo: Why, Louie; you read my mind!
Scene VII
(Nightfall as we get a skyline shot of Macadamia Castle. The clouds are moving stage left as we cut to the top of a building as a grappling hook is attached to the edge of the top of the building. We see Louie climbing over Baloo as Louie is wearing his swami gear from earlier. Baloo is wearing an orange turban and an orange robe. Baloo climbs up as Louie and Baloo tiptoe on top of the building stage left for a while. Cut to the gate with the rhino guard guarding it and then pan up to a window as Louie and Baloo are silding against the edge of the building in the middle. Baloo and Louie jump onto the balconey. )
King Amok: Dreadful, simply dreadfull; you know, my kingdom; bankrupt! (We see the throne room as a rabbit furry wearing a turban pacing around as a woman fox furry wearing a pink scarf and tiger skined dress is watching on.) This is all my fault!
Fox Princess: Oh, no; father! Don't blame yourself. (King Amok climbs onto his throne chair.)
King Amok: But all of our tax money is gone! If I'm not responsible, who is? (The doors open and in comes Trample.)
Trample: Morning. (We see a gunpowder like wire on the floor as he walks in and pan over to the balconey with Baloo and Louie hiding behind some plants.)
Louie: It's the creep who copped your cargo and snatched my snacks!
Trample: Your majesty; if you allow me to wed Princess Lotta L'Amore, (Disney Captions has it as Lamour; but I picked L'Amore to avoid confusion with Louise L'Amour.) I will donate my fortune to save the kingdom.
Lotta L'Amore: No! I will never marry Chancellor Trample! He's a loathsome, festering carbuncle on the face of our beloved kingdom!
Trample: What are you really saying?
Lotta: Touch me and you're dust buster! (Cut to the balconey.)
Baloo: I like that gal's spunk.
Louie: The rest of her ain't bad, either, man.
Lotta: Father, he only wants to marry me so he can take your crown. (King Amok holds onto his turban like crown.)
King Amok: Ack, is that true, Chancellor Trample?
Trample: Well of course not, your highness. Macadamia is facing disaster! The people are ready to revolt. (Trample pulls the rope cord on the floor as Baloo and Louie stare directly at a record player as it starts.)
Macadamia Denizens' Voices: Down with the king! Down with the king! Down with the king! (Baloo and Louie look down and notices the three coyotes chasing the yellow chicken in the streets of Macadamia Castle shouting.) Down with the king! Down with the king!
Baloo: The only thing revolting around here is that cheesy chancellor! (Baloo and Louie turn around.)
Louie: Yeah, let's nail that scam-man!
Trample: Don't you see, sire? You have no choice but to...(Baloo and Louie tug on the rope and Trample falls backwards. Amok and Lotta are confused as in comes Baloo shaking a tambourine and dancing.)
Baloo: Ladies & gentlemen, for your edification and amusement. (Baloo smacks the tambourine right into Trample's kisser.) How about a big Macadamian welcome for that seer without peer: The Amazing Louie! (Pan up to a window with Louie and a rope. He swings to a spotlight as Amok claps his hands and Lotta looks in awe. Louie drops down and bounces off Trample's belly and onto the ground. Louie blows kisses while Amok chuckles and claps.)
King Amok: How wonderful. (Lotta is now happy as Baloo claps.)
Louie: Thank you, Babaloo. Thank you, my friends. (Louie claps and bows.) Okay, step right up! The Amazing Louie knows all, sees all! (Louie brings out his transparent crystal ball and looks at it.) Futures told! Fortunes found! Do we have a volunteer?
Baloo: A volunteer! (Baloo picks up Trample.)
Trample: Wha? What?! Who-a?!
Louie: (Walks towards Trample.) Now, don't be bashful! (He pokes the crystal ball right between Trample's eyes.) I can see it in the stars. I predict this guy's coming into a lot of loot. (Louie stuffs a bag of coins in his mouth and then slaps the back of the neck of Trample causing him to spit out all the coins onto the floor. Amok claps.)
King Amok: That is amazing! (Lotta is giggling.)
Trample: No, it isn't! It's a... (Baloo grabs onto Trample's beak to shut him up.)
Baloo: Silence! The Amazing Louie is about to commune with the spirits! (He drops Trample down as we see Louie walking all drunk.)
Louie: Mana who, atta hana gotta wata who moi yah! (Groans as he walks on his hands and then flops onto his back. He plays dead as Amok and Lotta walk towards him.)
King Amok: Did--does he need a doctor?
Trample: (Putting his hat back on.) He will when I get through with him! (Louie wakes up and jumps right into Trample's arms.)
Louie: Whah! I predict you will find a snake in the grass here in this very room! (This causes King Amok to grab onto Lotta.)
King Amok: Oh, goodness gracious! (Louie steals Trample's hat and jumps down.)
Louie: But do not worry. This one's not all he's cracked up to be. (Louie takes four eggs and puts them in Trample's hat. Baloo gives him an eggbeater and Louie whisks the eggs in the hat and then slams the hat on top of Trample as egg is running down his face and head.) Gee, that trick always worked before. (Louie walks off.) Looks like the yoke's on you! (Trample wipes the eggs off his face. Lotta and Amok loved it as Amok is chuckling and clapping again.)
King Amok: Wonderful, wonderful! (Lotta chuckles as well as Baloo brings in a steel mug.)
Baloo: Hey, you've been a great audience. Cash only, no personal cheques.
King Amok: Sorry, I'm a little short, you know. (Amok brings out two white buttons and puts them in the cup.) The kingdom's broke, you also know. (Baloo and Louie look at each other and then they are angry.)
Louie: Well, somebody owes us a hundred ninty two- twelve and ten bags of nuts! (Pokes Amok's chest and Trample has a purple towel and is cleaning his face.)
Trample: He's attacking the king! Guards! (I should note that his feet have changed from brown to black in that shot. The doors are broken down as the two rhino guards charge in. Baloo drops the cup and pleads.)
Baloo: Hey, we're not attacking anybody! We're fortune tellers, seers, psychics. (Baloo and Louie walk onto a circle as Trample goes to a rope and pulls it. The circle opens to reveal a furance. The rhino guards grab Baloo and Louie.)
Louie: I predict you can't do this to me! I'm a famous medium.
Trample: Good. I like my medium, rare. (Baloo and Louie gulp.)
Lotta: Stop! Father, these prophets could be the answer to our prayers.
King Amok: But how?
Lotta: Remember the ancient legend? Somewhere in the palace is a vast treasure vault.
Trample: Nonsense! Fairy tales! Sire, there is no such thing!
Lotta: They could use their powers to find the treasure. Your kingdom would be saved!
Baloo: Oh, yeah, yeah! And you'd be a hero. (Amok ponders this over.)
King Amok: Release them at once! (Chuckles as he pounds his fist into his hand and then whinces in pain.) OW!
Louie: You hear that? Hands off the tweed, Sneed. (Baloo and Louie are dropped on the floor. Lotta goes over to them.)
Lotta: Will you help us? (Baloo rises up and embraces Lotta.)
Baloo: Oh, baby! You bet your tiara I will! (Louie butts in between them.)
Louie: Heh heh. Excuse us? (Louie guides Baloo away from Lotta.) I'm the psychic. I'll help the gal. You get the one-ninty-two-twelve.
Baloo: Slow down, speedboat. The princess needs both of us. Two heads are better than one.
Louie: Which one of us ought to have examined!
Baloo: Now look, let's settle this impartial-like, two out of three. (Baloo and Louie then play rock-paper-scissors.)
Louie: Okay. One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two...What is that? (Baloo grabs on Louie's fist.)
Baloo: Steam shovel. I win.
Louie: What do you mean, "I win"?
Baloo: Scissors cut paper, rock breaks scissors, steam shovel smashes rock. I don't make the rules! (Baloo walks off as Louie has a headache. Baloo walks towards King Amok.) Kingney, you got yourself a deal! (He shakes both hands and somehow, Amok does not wobble.)
King Amok: Oh, good, good. Now I insist that you stay in the royal suite.
Trample: But that's my room!
King Amok: Hmmm, th-then you'll have to move out. (Amok walks away stage left.)
Lotta: May I escort you? (Baloo and Louie hold Lotta's hands.)
Baloo: Lead on, Livingston. (Baloo, Louie and Lotta walk away from the hard camera.)
Louie: I say, fancy a spot of badminton later?
Baloo: Capital idea, old chap!
Trample: Fortune tellers, eh? Well, if they find out I've stolen the tax money, I predict a short and painful future for them! (Trample looks into the torches of flames with evil eyes.)
End Of Act I At 10:37
Act II
Scene I
(Cut to outside Macadamia Castle at night as we head to the royal suite which contains comfy pillows and a hot tub with a spout in the shape of a full camel. Louie is testing the hot tub; while Baloo is peeling plums on the pillows.)
Baloo: Peel you a plum, O'Prophetic One?
Louie: Please do, Babaloo. (He tests the water with his toe and then gulps down a plum thrown by Baloo.) Ah! (Baloo relaxes on the pillows.)
Baloo: Ha ha ha! I tell you, this royal fortune teller job is one sweet gig! Ha ha! (A knock on the door beckons which wakes them up.)
Louie: Uh-oh! Babble stations! (Baloo and Louie run in opposite directions. Baloo grabs a pillow and slides it on the floor as Louie jumps on top of it with crystal ball in hand.) Hubba I eh moingggg ah! (Baloo opens the door and in comes Princess Lotta L'Amore. Louie speaks more gibberish. I'm not transcribing this anymore.)
Lotta: What is he doing?!
Baloo: An out of body experience. No wonder, with a body like his.
Louie: (Singsong.) Better out of my body, than out of your mind. (Louie shines the light of the crystal ball into Baloo's eyes forcing him to cringe. Lotta groans.)
Lotta: Oh, and I may go out of mine if I have to marry Trample! (Lotta sits down on a sofa as Baloo comes and sits down with her.)
Baloo: Now don't worry your blue-blooded head. Old Babaloo will save you. (Louie runs in and Baloo literally kisses him by mistake on the cheek, causing Louie to be shocked.)
Louie: Au contraire, Bumbleoo. If anybody's gonna save her, it's me! (Louie kicks Baloo in the face and Baloo goes flying stage left. Louie hugs Lotta as Baloo comes back and grabs Louie and has the crystal ball in his right hand.)
Baloo: Tut, tut, your Astralness. Now run along and scare up a seance, hmm? (Baloo throws Louie away stage left. Baloo tries to kiss Lotta; but Louie jumps on Baloo's back in response.)
Louie: Why, you wolf in bear's clothing!
Lotta: Don't fight! You see, I'm very fond of you both. You're so brave. You're so strong.
Baloo/Louie: You're so right.
Lotta: But if you don't work together, you'll never find the treasure! (Baloo pushes Louie's head down.)
Baloo: You can count on us, Princess. (Baloo holding Lotta's chin.)
Lotta: Thank you...and you. (Lotta kisses both Baloo and Louie on the lips. Baloo and Louie see pink hearts as they drop belly first on the sofa. Lotta walks out of the room, sighs and then closes the door. Baloo and Louie race to a mirror to admire themselves and freshen up.)
Baloo: Guess I'm just her type. (Baloo uses a comb to comb the hairs on his forehead.)
Louie: Yeah, dumb, dark and hairy? Puff up your pillow and dream. I'm the guy with magic. (Louie tries to steal the comb, but Baloo steals it back as Louie finds a bottle of spray while Baloo also has a brush and he's upset. Louie sprays his armpits.)
Baloo: Good. Then why don't you just disappear? (Baloo pulls the turban over Louie's eyes. Baloo and Louie grunt as there is more knocking on the door. Baloo goes to the door as Louie slides onto the pillow and holds a potted plant and chants more gibberish. Baloo is about to answer the door when suddenly; there are two letters slid under the door with Baloo and Louie's name on it in cursive writing.)
Louie: Huh? (Strangely; Baloo's mouth moved so the line was supposed to be for Baloo; but Louie's voice said the line. Baloo grabs the note of his and then tosses Louie's away.)
Baloo: Ah, a note to me from Lotta! (Snorts.)
Louie: (Sniffs his letter.) I got one too!
Baloo: (Sighs.) She wants to meet me in the garden!
Louie: Likewise! (Louie grabs Baloo's letter and rips it to shreds.) Sorry, Slim; but one of them's a mistake. (Baloo and Louie open the door and try to go through it at the same time.)
Baloo: You got that right, Sherlock. (They struggle through the door as Baloo pulls the turban down Louie's eyes again and then kicks him in the rear end through the door on the way out. They walk out.)
Louie: You know? You look better this way.
Scene II
(Cut to the garden, which contains a bench underneath a shady area behind the fountain. We see Baloo standing beside the bench.)
Baloo: Psst! Oh, princess?! (A cat jumps on the bench and snuggles on Baloo's side meowing. Cut to Louie going down a few steps in the hedge maze.)
Louie: Yoo-hoo! Don't be shy! (Louie pushes through some flowers.) Come out, come out; wherever you are! (Louie snaps a stem of a flower.) Lotta? Huh? Nobody home. (Louie ponders it over as a dagger takes off Louie's turban and sticks to the brick wall. The turban still falls to the ground anyway. Louie grabs the hat and was able to duck five arrows that were about to nail him in the head. He looks at the arrows and panics.) Bal-ooooooooo! (Louie runs through the hedge maze and finds Baloo searching for Lotta and Louie jumps into Baloo's arms.) Circle the wagons! Retreat the fleet!
Baloo: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the scoop? (Baloo puts Louie down and Louie chatters teeth.)
Louie: I almost got turned into a Louie-ka-bob! Come on, I'll show you. (Louie and Baloo walk to the area where the arrows used to be, but the arrows and dagger are gone. The rhino guard is shown in the foreground and walks off.)
Baloo: I don't see anything.
Louie: Hey, no jive, Clive; someone almost gave me flow-through ventilation! (Baloo shakes his head.)
Baloo: Louie, I'm ashamed of you; trying to scare me off. Now stay put! (Baloo walks off.)
Louie: Ah, but, but, but...(Louie hides behind a bench in fear. Cut to Baloo walking.)
Baloo: Oh, Lotta! It's your baby Babaloo! (Baloo walks towards a hedge with a grey cat with it's back turned.) What say me and you trip the light fantastic down the yellow brick road of life? (He kisses the cat statue and then a vase comes in and smashes the cat statue and the vase itself into pieces. Baloo looks up and panics.) Louie! (Baloo runs stage right as daggers rain from the sky. Louie runs to the bench where Louie is and grabs him.) I think I feel a chill coming on!
Louie: I'm more the indoors type myself!
Baloo: After me!
Louie: Right in front of you. (Baloo and Louie walk towards the stairs as we see the grey cat sleeping. Baloo steps on the cat's tail; it screeches. Baloo and Louie stammer and scream as they run up the steps; and manage to get through into the castle before the gullotine blade comes down on them. Cut to Trample pounding his fist on the railing above the royal suite door as he's with the two rhino guards.)
Trample: Oh, fools! You missed again! (Cut to inside the royal suite as Baloo and Louie open the door and come in. They close the door shut and board it up with just one board, two chains and a lot of nails. They bail and return as they barricade the door with various objects. Baloo goes over to a suitcase and fills it up with clothes.)
Baloo: I got a plan! You help the princess, I'll get the cash! (Baloo tries to run away; but Louie grabs him by the cape.)
Louie: I got a better plan. Let's both get out of here!
Baloo/Louie: Deal! (They shake hands and then there is knocking on the door. Baloo and Louie run around in a disorganized fashion.)
Baloo: Hide under here! This way! No, over here!
Louie: What are you doing?! Come on, man! This is no time for this... (Baloo and Louie bonk into each other and then whimper together. Cut to a wall as the wall panel turns around and in comes Lotta.)
Lotta: Umm, am I interrupting? (Baloo throws Louie away and is angry.)
Baloo: Now back off, Lotta Hari! You set us up! (Baloo walks off as Louie somehow teleports with Baloo as they put their swami clothes in their suitcases. Louie's is a blue bag with sploshes of flowers on it.)
Lotta: What are you talking about? (Louie then shows off the letter that he didn't tear up.)
Louie: This, as if you didn't know.
Lotta: But this isn't my handwriting. Please, you gotta believe me! (Lotta pulls on their shirts to bring them back.) Your lives are in danger!
Louie: Oh, thanks for the bulletin.
Baloo: Oh, hadn't noticed.
Lotta: But you promised you'd find the secret treasure vault!
Louie: Okay, fine. (Baloo folds his arms as Louie hops.) Yo, spirits, what's your pleasure? Give us a sign, show us the treasure! (Louie stops and then walks towards Lotta.) They say, "Yes, we have no bonanza." (Hissing abounds in the background.) Everybody's a critc.
Baloo: Wasn't me. (Cut to Louie's hat as it shakes. Louie takes the hat and we see a cobra snake rising from the bed hissing.)
Lotta: What do we do?
Louie: Can't you charm a snake with music?
Baloo: Yeah! I'll sing.
Louie: I'll take my chances with the snake. (Louie walks in; but Baloo grabs him.)
Baloo: Ah, we better do the old Half Gainer Hike. You be the bait.
Louie: How come I'm always the bait?
Baloo: 'cause bait rhymes with ape.
Louie: Well, I can't beat your logic.
Baloo: (Gives a basket to Lotta.) Don't move. Ready, Louie? (Louie walks forward.)
Louie: If you've got the alley, I've got the oop! A one, a two, a-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah three! (Louie throws his hat and it lands on the snake. Louie jumps backwards and bounces off Baloo's stomach into the air landing on the bed behind the snake. The snake flies into the air and goes through the canopy and bonks into the ceiling with it's head. The snake slides down and plops into the basket Lotta was holding. Baloo then shuts the lid on the basket.)
Lotta: Ooo! (Baloo takes the basket and starts dribbling it like a basketball. There is crowd cheering noises in the background. Baloo throws it out of the window and it lands onto the ground. The basket opens and out comes the snake looking drunk. Then the yellow chicken runs in and stomps on the snake and then gets run over by the three coyotes from earlier; which has increased to seven now. And then they come back and it increases to nine of them chasing the snake. Cut back to inside the royal suite.)
Baloo/Louie: This is us, leaving! (Baloo and Louie turn around and one of the bedposts loses a portion of the post. We get rumbling.)
Baloo: What the...?! (We pan over to a large stone door which slides open to reveal the actual treasure vault. Baloo, Louie and Lotta enter the room.)
Louie: Man, oh, man! There really is a treasure room! (Baloo takes some of the jewelry from the pile.)
Baloo: And it was right under our noses!
Lotta: My father's problems are solved! (In comes Trample from behind with the two rhino guards.)
Trample: But your problems have just begun!
End Of Act II At 16:28
Act III
Scene I
(Shot of the treasure room filled to the brim with riches.)
Lotta: This isn't a hidden treasure. It's the missing tax money!
Trample: Yes, which I stole. And once I persuade your father to step down, it will pay for my reign as king! (Trample actually touches Lotta's hand.)
Lotta: You, king?! Not while I'm alive! (Lotta folds her arms.)
Trample: Which won't be long! Fetch! (The rhino guards growl as they stalk Baloo and Louie. Lotta bails stage left as Louie pokes on Baloo's chest.)
Louie: Hey, Baloo; what's up with you? (They slap skin.)
Baloo: Not much, old pal. So what'd we do? (The rhino guards look confused.)
Baloo/Louie: Ah, what do you say we just clobber these two? (They punch the two guards in the stomach. They cringe, hold their hands and blow them.) OW! Ooof! (The rhino guards grab Baloo and Louie and are about to walk them out of the vault when suddenly, Lotta comes up from behind and whacks them hard in the head with a giant gold sledgehammer.)
Rhino Guards: OW! (They groan and then fall to the ground knocked out. Baloo and Louie stomp on their heads for good measure; and slap skin for fun. Trample takes a sword from the wall.)
Trample: En grade! (Louie presses against Baloo's belly to dodge the sword blade.)
Louie: Whoa! Mama didn't raise me to be no cold cut. (Baloo and Louie dodge Trample's sword. Baloo and Louie climb onto the treasure of riches as Trample stalks them. Baloo and Louie's backs are against the wall near a rope with a cloth above them.) We're at the end of our rope.
Baloo: Rope? (Baloo pulls the rope down and then uses it to pull the sword away from Trample. Somehow the cloth didn't come down with them as Lotta whacks Trample in the head with the golden sledgehammer. Baloo pulls the rope away from the sword.)
Louie: Where'd you learn to do that?
Baloo: Eh, I saw it in a movie. (Baloo and Louie jump down as Baloo has the sword in hand as he embraces Lotta.) Princess, we make a swell team! (Louie butts in.)
Louie: I hate to interrupt this tender interlude; but I hear the patter of not-so-little feet! (Baloo, Louie and Lotta run out of the treasure vault.)
Lotta: Quickly! This way! (They run to the balconey to avoid three more guards who are now wearing purple vests, pink pants and pink turbans run into the vault. They help Trample up.)
Trample: Go! Give them such a hit! (Cut to Baloo, Louie and Lotta running out of the royal suite into the hallway. They slide through a rug and then run to their right into the hard camera. Trample and company follow as Trample stops; but the two rhino guards in orange bonk into Trample and he goes flying stage right. They bonk into each other and they go flying stage right. The rhino guards run off and follow Baloo, Lotta and Louie as Trample reappaears with a vase on his head. He bonks into a wall and smashes the vase off his head. Cut to Louie, Baloo and Lotta running on the second floor and then down the stairs. They slide, turn around and run up as the three pink pant guards have cut them off at the pass. They growl and still run past them for no reason as we pan up to Baloo, Louie and Lotta watching from the railing on the second floor.)
Louie: Talk about your horns of dilemma. There are guards behind us, guards ahead of us.
Baloo: Sounds like we're about to become a hero sandwich! (Cut to the rhino guards in pink pants grunting like pigs now. They run up the stairs and run right past Baloo, Louie and Lotta who are hiding behind some pots in a window sill. They are doing the "X no evil" promo. The guards stop and are confused.)
Pink Pants Rhino Guards: Huh? (They return to the sill as Baloo, Louie and Lotta grabbed the vases in front of them and they pause. Then Baloo, Lotta and Louie smash the vases over their heads, making them fall to the ground knocked out.)
Baloo: Beautiful.
Louie: Happy napping, numb noodle. (Louie knocks on rhino guard's head.)
Trample: They're back on the stairs.
Louie: Let's make a nose and blow. (Louie tries to run off; but Baloo grabs him.)
Baloo: Whoa, Trigger; head for the throne room. Now, I got me a plan. (Baloo grabs Lotta and runs off stage left down the stairs. Louie is on the ground not amused.)
Louie: It was your plans that got us in this mess in the first ppllllaaaccceeee.... (Louie folds his arms as Baloo grabs him and spirited him away stage left. Trample and the two orange pant rhino guards run down the stairs.)
Trample: After them, hurry! (Of course; the rhino guard turn around and trip over the three rhino guards and tumble down the stairs losing their swords. Trample walks around and has a headache.) Oh, no wonder I can't sleep nights.
Scene II
(We head to the throne room as the double doors open and in comes the pink pants rhino guards which has increased to four or five. They stop and notice Lotta lying down on Amok's throne chair.)
Lotta: Looking for me? (The four rhino guards surround Lotta. Then they look around.)
Louie: Hidy-ho, boys! Up here! (We see Louie on top of a cloth and metal chandelier holding onto of the curtains. Rhin guards look confused.)
Baloo: No, up here! (Rhino guards look around as we see Baloo near the window on top with a curtain of his own.) Hi, fellas! (Baloo and Louie swing down at the same time. One of the rhino guards gets knocked down as Trample enters the room.)
Trample: Evisecerate them, you imbeciles! (The two orange pants rhino guards come in as Louie swings back.)
Orange Pants Rhino Guards: UGH! (The guards get kicked by Louie and go flying out of the window. Baloo swings around.)
Baloo: Yee-hee-hee-ha! (Baloo kicks one of the guards in the fact and this causes all four guards to go flying and land on their bellies knocked out. King Amok runs in wearing orange/cheese striped pjs with matching color turban.)
King Amok: Oh, good. Ha-ha! Is the circus in town?! (His foot gets caught in a conveniently placed vase as he claps and chuckles. Cut to Louie climbing up the curtain onto the chandelier and then cut to Baloo swinging backward and does an amazing backflip.)
Baloo: Bring me in! (Louie is hanging upside down as he grabs Baloo by the ankles.)
Louie: One bum coming up! (They swing as Trample tries to grab King Amok; but Baloo grabs him instead.)
Trample: Unhand me!
Baloo: If you say so. (Baloo pushes Trample's head right up intothe ceiling. Trample groans as he unpops his hat and free falls. This causes the riches from the upper floor to flow down which includes money bags which bury Trample just after Trample hits the ground. King Amok is hopping, chuckling and laughing.)
King Amok: Wonderful, wonderful, you know. Ah-ha! Very nice, woo-hoo! (Lotta comes over to Amok.)
Lotta: See, father? You've been a good king! It's Trample who's been stealing the people's tax money! (Trample's head pops out and then the golden sledgehammer falls and smashes Trample in the head again.)
King Amok: Well, anything to say, Trample? (King Amok grabs the golden sledgehammer. This causes Trample to sob loudly.)
Trample: Convict me, jail me, torture me!
Baloo/Lotta/Louie: (All with their arms folded.) Sounds fair.
Scene III
(Cut to outside at the bazaar at morning as a denizen is feeding the yellow chickens with seeds from his bag. Pan over to more denizens doing their businesses outside the castle as we cut over to Baloo, Lotta and Louie in front of some palm trees near the gate.)
Lotta: I don't know what I can do to thank you. (Baloo is holding Lotta's hand and Louie butts in once again.)
Louie: Well, I'd be happy to prepare a short list. (Louie holds hands with Lotta as Baloo grabs him by the shirt.)
Baloo: And when it comes to short, he's an expert. (Louie pulls the pilot's cap down Baloo's eyes.)
Louie: Isn't it time for you to hibernate? (In comes King Amok from the gate.)
King Amok: Well, actually; I have a way to thank them! (He claps his hands.) Boys?! (In comes Trample and his two Rhino guards in stripes carrying a giant gold treasure box with a camel statue on top of it.)
Louie: What do you think? Gold? Jewels? Or stupid amounts of money? (Amok butts in.)
King Amok: A nice, big reward! (Louie and Baloo rub their hands together.)
Baloo/Louie: Stupid money.
Scene IV
(Cut to above the mountains in the desert as the SeaDuck is flying in the air. Head into the cockpit with Baloo piloting the plane and Louie is right behind the chair.)
Baloo: (Twiddling the flight stick.) Well? Should we wait till we get home?
Baloo/Louie: Nah! (They shake their heads as they run to the back. Baloo has the crowbar and he pries the golden treasure box open. Baloo takes out an invoice.) It's...It's...!
Baloo: Exactly one hundred ninty two dollars twelve cents; and ten sacks of nuts. (Inside the treasure box is ten sacks of nuts.) Old King Amok wasn't as crazy as we thought. (Baloo and Louie go back into the cockpit dejected.)
Louie: You wanna go back to Macadamia?
Baloo: Ah, no! I've had my fill of those nuts. (The shot went from day to night and then back to a day shot as the SeaDuck flies towards the sun.)
Louie: We going out on that joke?
Baloo: Looks like it. (Circle fade out.)
End Of Episode At 21:19
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