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TaleSpin Comics: Voodoo Baloo/Danger With Dangerwoman/The Nearly Last Wave Rant

Reviewed: 09/24/2016
Additional Commentary: 12/27/2025

Welcome To The Wacky World Of TaleSpin Comics, Part 12!

Original Release: 06/00/1991 (Voodoo Baloo), 12/00/1991 (Danger With Dangerwoman), 08/00/1992 (The Nearly Last Wave) .

Next up on the random comics list is out first episode written by someone other than Bobbi Weiss and it shows! Oh lord, it shows! (2025 Gregory Weagle Says: This was also the first episode where Kit buries all heels by himself. It's not as funny as a later random comic story though.) Anyhow, the plot is that the Air Pirates kidnap Kit and steal Higher For Hire's safe in order for Don Karnage to destroy the company and kill Baloo basically. Also, Molly is involved in her first adventure without Rebecca being seen at all! Then we go shopping for dolls as Rebecca buys a voodoo doll in order to make Baloo employee of the year and thus make more money. However, delivering a man eating jungle cat might be a terrible use for it. Well, after some really deep searching: I found a site in Europe that actually has The Nearly Last Wave, in English no less! Which features Don Karnage threatening Cape Suzette and swamping Louie's with a great tidal bore making device. You know Baloo and company's mission for this one. Voodoo Baloo debuted on Disney Adventures Volume 1.08 in 1991 and Danger With Dangerwoman was in Disney Adventures Volume 2.02 in 1992. I should note that the Super Baloo version of Voodoo Baloo was clearly colored by someone else; and the first page looks a lot better than the North American version. It's like night and day. Also of note; the French version of "Danger With Dangerwoman" has Kit's airfoil colored purple with a blue middle; while Danger Woman's head strainer is colored bloody red. Ummm, yeah. (Someone wanted to make that comic look childish and it failed badly!) The Nearly Last Wave debuted in Disney Adventures Volume 2.10 in 1992. How do these stories fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!

Voodoo Baloo is written by Bobbi JG Weiss with artwork done by Jorge Sanchez and Roberto Bat. Danger With Dangerwoman is written by Bob Langhans and artwork is done by Oscar Saavedra, Rubin Torreiro and Carlos Valenti. Bob has worked with Disney Comics since 1979 on Uncle Scrooge comics and Li'l Bad Wolf along with foreign market stories from 1979-1989 including Battle Of The Planets. Then he worked on DTVA comics for a while and then worked with Egmont from 1992-2000 which includes scripts for Mickey and Minnie Mouse among others. Carlos according to lambiek: Carlos Valenti has worked for Disney comics since the late 1970s, through the Jaime Diaz Studios. During the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, he served as an inker on Hector Adolfo de Urtiága's 'Goofy' stories, and on 'Duck Tales', 'Rescue Rangers' and 'Beauty and the Beast' stories by Cosme Quartieri and Horacio Saavedra, among others. He also did occasional pencils on foreign market stories. Since 2003-2004, he works as a penciller on 'Donald Duck' stories for the Danish publisher Egmont. He also worked on the Plunder and Lightning adaptation for the comics. The Nearly Last Wave is written by Bob Langhans and artwork is done by Andrea Freccero. Andrea according to Lambiek: Born in Genova, Andrea Freccero is one of the best artists of the so-called "second generation" of Italian Disney artists (initiated by Giorgio Cavazzano). He began his collaboration with the Italian production in 1989, and he has mainly done 'Duck' stories. Not much of note that I can see here.

Voodoo Baloo: We head in the streets of a bazaar as Rebecca, Baloo and Kit are shopping. Rebecca is wearing pink rimmed sunglasses and a hat as she points out that Baloo and company finished a highly profitable venture and so she's spending the money on petty items. Baloo blows this off because he hates being a pack mule as Kit tells Baloo to give it up already. Geez; the artist here made Kit angry for no reason here. (Although Kit is probably angry because this spending spree doesn't help the company in anyway.) Then again; the artwork in the background is like a color experiment without any context or reason. One of the vulture birds has yellow on the tip of the beak for no reason. A dog nose furry has yellow skin for no reason. Now where are the complaints from the Moral Guardians about this racist image?! Oh wait; he doesn't look Japanese, he looks like he was a Simpsons character if The Simpsons turn into furries. Surprised they didn't consider it as Baloo notices music and cheering in the background because there is a crowd present. Baloo and Kit look and walk over as Rebecca hears music. Rebecca walks towards the opposite direction as we head to a place where dog nose furry wearing a red shirt and green shorts with sandals is playing on a lute. There is is a shop with a wolf furry wearing a green dress with cheese color styling sitting down wearing a blue hoodie on her head showing off to Rebecca a shapeless doll. The female wolf furry cuts an amazing promo about how outside forces are strangling her. Geez; that just come off wrong as she claims Rebecca is yearning to control. (The problematic nature is that of a master/slave relationship and skipping the borders of it only makes it look even more obvious.) The shapeless doll is a voodoo doll as Rebecca asks if there is one in the shape of a bear. The wolf furry claims that the shape matters not, only that you need to connect the voodoo doll to a victim. Apparently, all you need is nail clipping or just hair. In other words, the products used in DNA testing. (There's a lot of science in this SUZY SHEEP~ magic here.) The wolf tells her to take care because when the doll connects to the victim, the victim experiences the actions of the doll and thus she shouldn't be so rash, because the magic is swift and potent. (Dose is the poison after all.)

The doll costs ten Shaboozies, cash only and Rebecca buys the doll outright. (This is no woo medicine in this world, but it's more dangerous than a placebo.) The wolf counts the cash as she asks if Rebecca needs a demonstration, Rebecca no sells because she has seen how this works in the movies as she leaves. Out comes a brown otter furry wearing a blue suit and tie with hat as he grabs another doll. The wolf furry addresses him as Ralph and he proclaims that she should have charged double for it. The wolf tells him to shut up and she hands him the money as Ralph gives her another doll. Rebecca walks to the crowd as we discover that there is a dog nose fool on a motorcycle driving it with his feet. Ah, so that's where Baloo learned his feet flight stick skills from! Anyhow, the fool is juggling banana as the crowd, Baloo and Kit are laughing at him. This would have been fine if it wasn't for the fact that he cut a sexist joke about an ugly husband comparing a gorilla to his wife. That is Jerry Lawler level type humor that might have been funny in the 1950's; but it isn't anymore. Shame on Kit for laughing at it! (Yeah, that joke was racist.) Rebecca walks in and has a Krackpotkin Plan as she is going to use the voodoo doll to turn Baloo into employee of the months and have her make lots of money. Okay; we talked about how horrible the "Love Potion" angle is. (I'm looking at Mr. Enter here when I'm saying this...) Isn't the "Voodoo" angle here just as problematic?! I mean, both angles have the babyface forcing another babyface against their own will. (If the heel does it, it does make me cringe! However, the bad guys doing it makes sense because they are supposed to be evil shitheads in storyline!) So, why is the "Love Potion" angle horrible; but the "Voodoo" angle isn't?! Sure, Baloo is a lazy ass, I get it. However, you cannot force someone to do stuff against his will. No; firing someone is not forcing someone against your will. Making a voodoo doll of Baloo is basically that. This makes Rebecca look like a horrible person in doing this. Maybe it's because it's 2016 and I'm witnessing the third wave feminist movement that is making me rethink everything about the world I am in. However, this voodoo angle just rubs me the wrong way. If Baloo did this to Rebecca in order to calm her down, I assure you everyone would rightfully call the writers out as sexists. (See the "Love Potion" angle.)

Rebecca then plucks hair from Baloo's neck. Why couldn't she wait until Baloo sheds the hair on his own?! It's not like furries don't shed skin cells and hair like other humans do. This just makes Rebecca look like a sociopath and an asshole. Baloo complains about the mosquitoes and rubs his neck as Rebecca wants to leave and that is that. We head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Baloo is piloting and Kit is in his seat. Rebecca comes in with the same type of nail clippers my foot care specialist uses. (Why bother with this, if a few strands of hair can do the trick?! If you ever want to know why Rebecca is considered an asshole and not be sexist, this comic is for you as evidence. Reminder: If Disney allowed it, it is canon.) Rebecca wants to talk about personal grooming as she clips Baloo's claws which appear completely out of nowhere. So, if you ever want to know why Baloo has no claws in the series, that's why. (To be fair, you should clip the claws back to make sure there is no unintentional wire snipping during flight. Safety first, you know. I just don't like it being done against someone else's will for a voodoo doll.) Baloo isn't happy about this as Rebecca then pretends to trip, she falls right on top of Baloo's shirt and unpops one of Baloo's buttons on the shirt. Rebecca then blames Baloo for it anyway like a jerk as she takes the button and hides it behind her back. I don't understand why she needs the button since buttons don't contain any DNA unless there are skin cells on them. Which is very possible, I guess. (The chances are very small. Hair with roots attached are a better bet.) Baloo proclaims that Rebecca has lost her mind. Geez; if you weren't such a lazyass; maybe she wouldn't be such a jerkass. Have you ever thought of that, Pop-A-Bear?! (True. However, voodoo dolls are evil and make others into evil assholes. Okay?!) Kit deduces that it's the altitude. However, Baloo thinks it's her DNA that's causing it. Of course! (DNA was discovered in 1869, so it makes somewhat sense, but it's somewhat full understanding wasn't until 1944, about seven years later in this story.) Rebecca goes to the back and sews the button and nails with the hair as she proclaims that he'll become the outstanding employee of the month. Look, I want to like this. However, time is not kind to this angle.

The next morning arrives as we head to the docks of Higher For Hire with Baloo and Kit fishing. Rebecca walks in with a wolf furry with glasses, a hat and a shirt with a pink flora design. His name is Mr. Rinky and he's from the zoological society. Which means that this was their first cargo run with them and this happened before "A Bad Reflection On You" occured. (At least their second known trip.) Rinky wants a cat delivered to the island of Longweyov and this is not a house cat. Oh, no! This is is a Hokspitui Jungle Cat! Apparently; this cat is being used to protect the others on the island from poachers until police arrive. The poachers want them to for their fangs because they are popular with souvenir trade in the black market. At first; when I read that he wanted an unusually large male, I thought he meant Baloo. But it was the cat he was talking about. I was hoping it was Baloo because then the story would make more sense since using the animal who is endangered to protect his own kind is kind of stupid, do you not think?! Baloo goes to Rebecca and no sells the deal because the Hokspituis are man-eaters and refuses to deliver anything that wants him between two sesame seed buns. Rebecca proclaims that NOTHING...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING will go wrong. (Yeah, I'll bet!) Baloo invokes the Gruffi pose and refuses as Rebecca walks off telling Baloo to think about it and is certain he'll change his mind, since they are getting seventy-five thousand shaboozies for the job. I just love that Baloo has learned his lesson from the Gorilla Birds incident in Plunder and Lightning. Rebecca enters the SeaDuck in the pilot's side and puts the voodoo doll in the front seat and buckles, striking a pose. Baloo calls her crazier than a Goo-Goo bird as then he sits down and cosplays that he's piloting the plane. (Sadly, we never got to see the Goo-Goo bird anywhere on this product. Maybe it was planned for a comic story that got cut due to the implosion of the comics, I don't know.) Then he remembers what happened in "I Only Have Ice For You" as he proclaims that Rebecca was implying that she was going to fly the SeaDuck using the bozo manual. Wow; Bobbi remembered that episode?! Didn't anyone tell her that continuity is bad?! Baloo decides to do the delivery after all, Rinky is so happy to overhear this and tells Baloo to get this delivered the sooner, the better.

Baloo walks up to Rebecca and blows her off for playing dirty. What was the point of the voodoo doll if Baloo realized what Rebecca was implying without it?! (I think Rebecca did the voodooo doll spot off-screen, because of course we have to make Rebecca look horrible here.) Then, we see WildCat loading up the Hoskpitui Jungle Cat as it's a brown sabre-toothed cat in a cage. (I'm guessing it's a play on words for "hospital", which explain's Baloo's reaction to this.) WildCat proclaims that this cat ate a tour bus going through a game preserve. HOLY CRAP! Sure, the denizens of the tour were in the snack bar at the time; but HOLY CRAP! We head to the skies as they are over the island of Longweyov. (A play on "Long way out".) Rebecca explains that the jungle cats live on the north end of the island, while the natives live on the south end with a mountain separating the two areas. Kit asks if the cats have crossed the mountains in anyway and Baloo tells him not to trouble himself causing Rebecca to blow off Baloo. Rebecca's answer to Kit is that they haven't. Personally, I would then ask if the natives have crossed the mountain. (I betcha they didn't either for obvious and not so obvious reasons, former self.) We hear growling as we head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Kit is co-piloting the plane! YAY! Baloo, of course thinks the cat wants to eat Rebecca like the jerkass that he is. (And she is, too in this story at least.) Rebecca goes to the back and notices that the jungle cat has escaped as Baloo is screaming for her to shut the door, lock it and cement it. Rebecca just sidesteps and in comes the hospital jungle cat towards Baloo. Rebecca then grabs the doll and slaps the cat's ass as Kit is pleading her not to do it. Now; I know what you are thinking: How did Kit know about the doll?! Answer: He didn't because he knows that smacking a dangerous cat in the ass is a fatally bad idea! So, this works anyway which the end result is Baloo punches the cat in the face. Yes folks; Baloo punched out a sabre-tooth tiger basically. Eat your heart out, Mister T! Of course, the cat is pissed as it gets in Baloo's face. This forces Baloo to dodge, claiming it was reflex as Rebecca notices this and is confused. Yes; she is confused that the doll can do this despite the fact that she was using the doll earlier in the story. This makes no sense at all. (Much like the horror of this angle, actually!) Jungle cat bites flight stick. Baloo bails as Kit jumps into the navigational seat and is the pilot. YEE-HAW! (You are such a geek, former self!)

Kit tells Baloo and Rebecca to open the back door and hang onto the back seat. Kit pulls up into a steep climb, which causes the jungle cat to fly back into the back of the SeaDuck. AWESOME! Sadly; Kit pulled up way too much as he yells at Rebecca to close the door. While she does, the engines finally konk out. So close...so damn close, Kit. Baloo takes over off-screen and lands on the south side of the island on the beach. However, the back side door opened somehow during this landing and the cat runs off into the jungle, complete with paw prints on the beach. The babyfaces notice as Kit proclaims that they need to get the cat away from the native village. Baloo goes into the back and dumps out stuff like a Wuzzles character. Rebecca asks if they are planning to capture the cat themselves and Baloo proclaims that nothing will go wrong because Rebecca is coming with them. Well; at least Rebecca is getting hers for her stupid decision to enslave Baloo via voodoo. Baloo, Kit and Rebecca walk through the jungle with a net, butterfly net and Kit has a club. Why would they need a butterfly net?! I can understand the net and the club; but what is Rebecca thinking?! Rebecca is telling Baloo to turn back; or she'll use the voodoo doll on him, basically. (What a horrible Karen Rebecca is turning out to be in this story?!) Here's a logic break: Baloo and Kit appear to be talking and Kit appears to be yelling and pointing the finger at Rebecca. However; there is no dialogue whatsoever from Kit nor Baloo. (I don't get that one, former self.) Anyhow, we hear Don Karnage in the background as he, Mad Dog and Dumptruck are talking to three dog nose natives in grass skirts wearing the curly versions of Hediachi Mishima's hairstyle years before Tekken was a thing. (Well, when in doubt; bring in Air Pirates. I guess.) Basically; Don wants them to defang the cats in order for Don to sell them on the black market and the natives only get five percent of the profits! Of course, the natives are so stupid in thinking that they would get ninety-five percent and they verbally agree to it carte blanche! Don Karnage is always a great heel. (With a touch of bigotry from Bobbi Weiss in this case...) The natives ask why they get so little and Don points the sword at the belly deep enough that in any sane universe, the sword would cut through and draw blood. Don Karnage -- of course -- is a dick! Dumptruck backs the natives up with the rifle. This causes the natives to scream and flee stage right. Well -- they are unarmed -- so, I can see why they fled.

Rebecca whisper yells to Baloo behind the bushes saying that they need to stop Don Karnage because he's the poacher and Baloo whisper blows her off. Thankfully; in a rare moment for cartoons, Don Karnage actually hears what they say and blows their covers. So much so that Kit lost his club for some reason. Damn; I wanted to see Kit bash Don in the nuts with it so badly, too! Either way; great job by the artists to actually show the consequences of whisper yelling! I wish most cartoons would take the hint on that. The heels laugh it up and make fun of Rebecca's capture method as he calls them naughty droppers of eaves. (I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Rebecca is going to need some cream after that sick burn.) Then in comes two jungle cats. However, their sabre teeth are missing as Don calls them pucker pusses and they are starving to boot! Kit is pissed off about this and rightfully so! (Hey, Kit is redeeming himself after laughing at a bigoted joke.) Don claims that he's a pirate not a dentist. That is true; but he's so deplorable in both his action and his torture of the English language. Thankfully; the later is at least entertaining to me. Baloo blows him off for his poaching and then everyone panics because here comes the JUNGLE CAT OF DEATH~! The cat runs in and everyone climbs into the trees. Rebecca calls Don Karnage a stupid pirate which is projection. Well; at least the stupid part. Don Karnage is gravely offended by this ableist slur. Don also calls them meddling gumshoes! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So, that's what the sticky substance on Kit's feet is named?! That's awesome! I don't care if it's just a joke; that works! Rebecca blows him off and then the voodoo doll slips down and lands on the ground. This makes Baloo break the branch and drop with a thud on the ground. The cat licks it's lips as Rebecca panics saying that Baloo is going to die. (Death reference #1.) Kit yells at Baloo to look out. That's kind of stupid as Baloo backs up. Baloo blows off Rebecca attempt at encouragement as Rebecca finally confesses that she bought a voodoo doll. Even to the point of making it as death reference #2 beckons. (Which she didn't make it in the first place.) Baloo climbs the branch with Don Karnage as he wants the REGAL CUTLASS which Don Karnage blows off. However, since Baloo is TOO FAT; the branch breaks and they tumble to the ground like little kids. They then get up and blow off each other because Don wants to use Baloo as a shield. However, Baloo wants to use Don as a weapon.

The cat circles around the two idiots as the cat rushes and Don Karnage actually uses the sword to skin the hair off of it, calling it a nasty gato. UH-OH! You just pissed it off, Dog Garbage! (Word, former self.) Don panics and bails stage left and then runs away stage right with the rest of the heels as the cat is chasing them. Kit jumps down and hugs Baloo as Rebecca also jumps down. Rebecca then grabs some of the fur from the ground, proclaims that voodoo works and she'll use the hair of the jungle cat to make the horrible beast cage itself. Baloo blows it off as "horse pucky" and "native hocus pocus". Kit actually believes Rebecca's story and maybe it will return to them if they had some raw meat to work with. Baloo ponders this over and thinks it's a great idea. Baloo and Kit bail stage left while Rebecca follows proclaiming that she'll show them. We head to the native village of the mud/straw huts as the Pirates run in pleading for help. The big native has the Gruffi pose and sounds like he couldn't care less. However; he then opens the door to the back as offers to let them inside. All three heels do the squeeze play spot and pop inside the building, which is "Ye Olde Jailhouse". HAHA! The cat runs in as the door is slammed and locked in that order as Don protests this outrage and calls the natives double-crossers. HAHA! Maybe he should have gone halfway after all. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The cat stalks the area as Baloo is whispering for the kitty to come over somewhere. Baloo, Rebecca and Kit are at the steel cage. Cat runs in as they taunt him with fish and a voodoo doll. Rebecca runs out of the cage leaving the voodoo doll inside, cat runs in cage, Kit slams cage door, Rebecca claims all the victory, cat destroys voodoo doll, yee-haw! Baloo basically takes this as proof that Rebecca's voodoo is bullshit. The natives walk over to the babyfaces while the babyfaces are exchanging notes as they stop the fang trade and Baloo wants to give the cats dentures. The babyfaces leave Don Karnage hanging as Don protests this outrage, calling the natives barbarians. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection is so fickle isn't it?! Baloo tells Don not to insult them as one of the native delivers a Molly worthy raspberry. Don threatens to grind them into guacamole when he gets out. The babyfaces walk off to deliver the jungle cat to the south part of the island and that is that. This was a fun episode marred by the problematic nature of the voodoo doll. This is one of the rare times the natives were less problematic than the angle itself. Call it *** 3/4 (75%).

Danger With Dangerwoman: We begin this one on the docks as Baloo comes in to break up a fight. However, this isn't any regular fight; oh no! He's trying to break up a fight between Kit Cloudkicker and Molly Cunningham. Whom Molly is wearing her Dangerwoman cosplaying outfit. Molly is grabbing onto Kit's airfoil as Kit tells her that she can't use it because she's too young. Molly's retort is that Dangerwoman isn't too young and wants Kit to give her a chance. HAHA! Baloo tells them to break it up as he takes Kit's side of being too young to fly. (Kit is barely halfway to 21 yet, and you're barely halfway to ten! Sad, but true.) Molly lets go and starts running around claiming she needs to stop the nasty pirates she just saw. Yes; she does talk in the third person here. Kit scoffs at the notion and wants to give him a break. Okay; Kit, where do you want the break?! Your airfoil or your legs?! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Seriously; Kit! Don't you realize that if it isn't the real Air Pirates she is talking about, you know she's talking about you?! (It's Molly wanting to have her way with Kit in a G-rated playful way.) Molly here is clearly saying the real ones because she saw them near the SeaDuck. Baloo winks and tells Kit to check it out at the office because he was going to do some chores in the SeaDuck anyway, so he'll check the SeaDuck anyway. Kit is confused and then decides to bail towards the office. We head inside the office as Mad Dog and Dumptruck are inside the office as Dumptruck is opening a large wooden crate with a crowbar while Mad Dog is looking at a safe. Yes; Molly was really on the ball here. Molly's the greatest six year old girl ever! (Sadly, the writer didn't even follow it up with Molly saving Kit at the end. More on that as we go along.) Dumptruck is claiming that they mailed themselves to Higher For Hire via the crate. So, they somehow were on the docks and only Molly noticed?! Great. (Sadly, these Air Pirates have to be so stupid in the end. More on that later.) Mad Dog asks why they didn't do it sooner and Dumptruck proclaims that it's because they are dumb and Don Karnage is not. Well, we are going to see some demonstration of this later on as Don Karnage is on the radio on top of the crate. Don cuts his usual flair promo as the motive for this is to steal Higher For Hire's petty cash fund. Why bother doing that other than Don Karnage just being a dick?! (Because Don Karnage is a dickhead heel. It's obvious!)

Dumptruck then smashes his head into the safe in an attempt to crack it open. I'm shocked Babyface Half-Nelson didn't hire this guy. Or did he?! HEEHEEHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Don blows off Dumptruck and tells him to get the safe over to him immediately if not faster. Heh. He also has secret advanced crowbar techinques~! Yeah I'll bet. (As if Dumptruck's literal bonehead wasn't effective enough.) Kit is at the door; and somehow Mad Dog notices him. Mad Dog even says he was once one of them. I'm guessing Magon's BS&P told the writers to have them forget the feud they had in Plunder and Lightning. Lucky for this show; there is a comic book story that gives an actual storyline reason for this and I'll deal with that one later on. (Pirate For A Day and you thought the Gummi Bears were savage against Sunni Gummi and Gummi Traditions?!) Anyhow; Kit is caught and tied up as they put the safe onto this green platform with a helicopter like propeller that runs on bicycle power. (Hey, at least the gadgets in this story are as wacky as this show can be.) Remember Kit being tied up here, because it plays into the utter stupidity of this story in general. Molly spots the pirates and bails as the helicopter flies into the sky while Kit notices their plan. Somehow; there is no loud crash to be heard at all when Molly runs out speaking in clusters now. (Logic break #1.) Although in this case, Molly was panicky as Baloo tells her to slow down. (The bank official in Take Off #1 was also paniky because he knew Baloo had a hot temper and might cause actual physical violence.) Baloo grabs Molly and still manages to get the guise of her clusters as I discover that Baloo told Kit to bail so he could fish by the docks since Baloo had a fishing rod. Baloo and Molly run to the SeaDuck as Baloo is making jokes about fishing and photographs. Molly wants to join in. However, Baloo cuts her off telling her to stay at Higher For Hire. There is one major problem with this: Rebecca Cunningham, business major and concerned parent of Molly. She is not in this episode! In fact; WildCat, goofy mechanic and lovable guardian to Molly, is not in this episode either! In other words; Baloo wants Molly to stay home alone. A six year old girl being alone.

Even if it was a six year old boy; do you honestly think that Moral Guardians are going to let this one slide?! (Especially Rebecca Cunningham, moral guardian of this show! If WildCat Puma was in this story, then the story would have an out at least. This was stupid.) Molly blows him off as no fun as I blow off the writer for not taking this absent guardian thing seriously enough. No, not really. The SeaDuck flies towards the Iron Vulture as the helicopter platform of doom heads to it with Kit and the safe. Baloo talks about Rebecca having his hide if Molly went with him. I think Rebecca would have his hide for leaving Molly alone at the office. However, I guess orders of magnitude apply in this story. Of course; here comes Molly blowing her cover in the cockpit out of nowhere. (Thank goodness Molly hitchhiked here because I shudder to think the consequences if she didn't...) Baloo is shocked and appalled and probably very confused as I am. Baloo says "fudge" here as a sub for "fuck". (The same Baloo who said "It fucking worked!" in Plunder and Lightning Part Four.) Baloo still is no selling her wanting to come and gets the CHILD CORRUPTING BALLOON OF DEATH showing Baloo in a hospital bed with two broken arms and a broken leg; as his hands and feet seem to be made of cotton. The guise of this is that Molly is so dangerous as Dangerwoman that Baloo will be in the hospital before he can say it. I doubt that seriously, even if it's the WRAITH OF BECKEY. It cannot be Rebecca. Otherwise; both ears would be bandaged up. (Ooooh, Baloo's ears are going to need bandages after that sick burn.) Baloo still refuses and wants to turn back. So, Molly jumps on Baloo's back and is appearing to tickle Baloo's neck. (Just like Molly did to Kit when he slingshot Molly onto Baloo's belly in perfect position to get tickled in the ribs by Baloo in Plunder and Lightning Part 2.) Her reasoning not to turn back: It might be too late to save Kit. Considering how stupid the pirates are in this story, turning back would be a good idea. (Oh come on, former self! Oh wait...) Baloo relents and tells Molly to stay out of this as Molly crosses her fingers behind her back. It wouldn't matter since Molly would probably just sneak into the SeaDuck if they returned. Somehow. We then head inside the wheelhouse of the Iron Vulture as Don Karnage has already opened the safe as it contains all the payroll money.

I wondered why Rebecca converted it into a petty cash safe in "Pizza Pie In The Sky"?! Don proclaims that he will destroy Higher For Hire and when Baloo shows up, he won't escape, calling Baloo a teddy bear. Kit is sitting down proclaiming that Don doesn't want any part of Baloo. (And after seeing "Thicker Than Water" from Dan Green; dear god, Don Karnage is in hell now.) Don blows it off because he's beyond scarable and intends to destroy Baloo. Aren't you already doing that Don?! You can say "kill" on this show. Dumptruck is literally thinking about lunch as he should think about something else...Oh wait...Anyhow, Mad Dog is at the periscope as he notices the SeaDuck coming at various times. Don doesn't care since time waits for no pirate as he order Mad Dog and Dumptruck to grab the DREAD TORPEDO OF DOOM. Oh, and it is really "a dread torpedo". Mere mortals cannot stand the test of Don Karnage mangling the English language for my pleasure. (After all, English takes other languages and mangles them to death. This is just Don Karnage returning the favor.) Now; did you notice the stupid move by the Air Pirates here?! Ummm, Kit Cloudkicker is NOT tied up! Even the Beagle Boys have enough sense to tie up Huey in "Send In The Clones" in Ducktales. (However, not his knees up sadly.) It's even less excusable with the pirates because they have been smart enough to bind Kit in the television series or at least hold onto him. Heck; they tied him up earlier in this story! If you know who Kit is -- then for goodness sakes -- BIND HIM! Don't let him be free. He screwed you at least twice in this series and lived! STUPID! We head outside as the SeaDuck as Molly is talking trying to say "torpedo", which is named after a sandwich called a submarine. (She's better at this than Peppa and George combined!) Baloo is confused as the Iron Vulture shoots the DREAD TORPEDO OF DOOM. The SeaDuck dodges the torpedo, it explodes and somehow some of the debris manages to strike the oil line on the right side of the engine. Baloo flies the SeaDuck over the Iron Vulture as Don struck oil in his crankcase -- the housing for the crankshaft of the engine --. Don is going to gush the gushee as oil pours on the windshield. Baloo proclaims that he doesn't want to blacken someone's reputation. However, blacking the windshield is something he doesn't mind. What a bigot this Baloo fellow is?!

Iron Vulture sways as Dumptruck bails, Mad Dog is confused, the safe squashes Don Karnage's foot prompting Don Karnage to make law promos about safes being unsafe. Dumptruck thinks it's bedtime and Don blows it off as Dumptruck somehow teleports to the window after heading to the back. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Somehow; he doesn't notice that Kit is going to the side door. Listen, I like this idea of Don ruining Higher For Hire. However, the execution is terrible here. If I was booking this; Kit would be tied up, then the SeaDuck forces the Iron Vulture to bump causing Kit's switchblade to fall into his hands tied behind his back and he cuts himself free. It's simple and it makes the pirates look a lot less stupid. Cut back to the SeaDuck as Molly makes it to the pilot's side door and somehow Baloo doesn't see her at her seat or anywhere in between. The continuity is horrible here. Molly opens the side door as she wants to save Kit. Baloo is more concerned about the WRAITH OF BECKEY in this one. Screw you, Pop-A-Bear! Kit then pushes the safe through the door and then opens his airfoil as somehow Baloo and Molly are on the left wing; and then are forced back to the pilot's door. Yes folks; Molly didn't do anything at all here. Not even one move that saved Kit because Kit basically saved himself because the pirates were way too stupid to tie the former Air Pirate up. Kit floats down to the pilot's door of the SeaDuck as Baloo flies down with the SeaDuck, uses the trapdoor on the roof -- the same one from It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck -- to grab the safe and that is that. Molly is cutting promos about saving the day as this moves to the scene inside the office. Baloo is sitting down with Molly as she promo cuts herself to sleep. HAHA! That was funny at least. The strainer falls onto the floor as Baloo tucks her in with a blanket and pillow putting the hat on her head. Baloo ends the story by stating that he understands why she's called Dangerwoman and it's because she's plum dangerous to everyone but herself. This line would have worked if she did anything that put Baloo in danger. Everything you saw would have happened even if Molly was not involved because Kit was the one doing all the risky stuff by himself! (Kit basically beat three heels by himself.) We have our third thumbs down story of this series -- television, comics and hardcover books -- at ** 1/4 (45%). And that's because the logic of this was completely out to lunch. One more thing: Don Karnage's "Children should be not seen and not heard" is classic Eisner-equse promo cutting. ("Your Baloo's In The Mail" television episode and "Baloo & The Flying Carpet" book.)

The Nearly Last Wave - We begin this one at Higher...For...Hire which this artist thinks is in a town on an island in Cape Suzette, which would have been money, actually. Rebecca is on the docks and her blood is boiling because Baloo is three hours late. (So, every story considering TaleSpin now if you believe the stereotype...) She is also blaming it all on Louie of course as Kit is coming out of the store room claiming that it's engine trouble and/or Air Pirates. The later is using Occam's Razor, the former is closer to it. However, only Rebecca's Razor matters; which is even closer to Occam's Razor than engine trouble. Sadly -- despite being a cartoon -- Occam's Razor actually has a more accurate rating than most other cartoons. Rebecca and Kit go into the office as Rebecca gives Baloo fifteen minutes to get the heck out of there or she'll phone Louie's cantina. I think she meant "bar" because cantina often means "backbone" or "spine" which makes no sense. (Nope, "cantina" is a Latin American bar or tavern. It's the writer getting past BS&P's refusal to accept that alochol is being served at Louie's.) Basically, Rebecca is going to very gently remind him to come home and even Kit knows this is carny talk for "I'm going to kill Baloo's hearing". The office is messy by the way. Just a note before I continue and show that Disney Captions got it wrong: Yes; the spelling of "Papa Bear" is "Poppa Bear" here, so my way is the correct one. (I thought your spelling was "Pop-A-Bear", former self?!) Scene change to Louie's as Baloo has shredded a lamp shade as Louie is looking towards the east. Louie sees a lot of waves created by Mother Nature. Geez; it's 1937 and global warming has already taken place in this world! (The consequences of human global fuckery with diesel fuel as the murder weapon because it's a dieselpunk era! What a shocker?!) Baloo and Louie go outside and Baloo claims that he has never seen such a wave since Baloo did a bellyflop in Rebecca's fountain. What fountain?! (Yeah, I don't recall a fountain at Rebecca's apartment. I'm sensing he meant "waterfall", which is present at the apartments.) Louie makes brother and sister analogies on the waves as the waves swamp the docks near Louie's. A rabbit furry in blue jeans bails with an ostrich (I think) who's wearing Scottish-equse pants stage left. Baloo and Louie bail towards the SeaDuck on a footpath to a separate dock.

Louie makes jokes about being liquid-fied and then disappears in one panel and then somehow is heard inside the SeaDuck with Baloo on the next panel. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) More waves are swamping the area and...Oh wait...Louie is still on the docks screaming for help while Baloo is in the air dodging waves and talking about Louie's drinking salt water. Baloo turns around seeing more waves as he must save Louie. Meanwhile, in the bed of the sea we see Mad Dog in diving gear swimming around with some propeller like device with a red handle next to a submarine, which looks too bright colored to be an air pirate submarine. Inside is Don Karnage and Dumptruck as Don proclaims that the device Mad Dog is holding is called a Wave Maker. (If Doofen from Phineas & Ferb was around, it would be called the Wave Makenator.) Also, it was stolen from the Thembrian Navy along with the submarine. (The comics seem to like mixing the pirates and the Thembrians, even though neither side likes each other.) I don't believe it matters what setting TaleSpin would be in for a reboot, because any reference to Russia will always be seen as a "Take That!" Considering now, what difference is there between 1990 Russia and 2017 Russia?! I don't see it. (Outside of Moscow, your point makes more sense than any.) Anyhow, Don wants to kill Louie's and drown Cape Suzette. The motive: So he can rob it blind, deaf and dumb. Who says Don Karnage doesn't think his Krackpotkin plans all the way through?! (Answer: Everybody~!) Don is watching from the periscope and sees that Baloo is around and is annoyed, so Don wants to fire an water to air rocket. Dumptruck -- of course -- has no idea what he's talking about and pushes the red button which sounds the fire alarm and brings up the submarine. Don blows him off for making a power ascent and he doesn't answer stupid questions. Which he already did, so that was stupid. Jump cut back to the SeaDuck as Louie is safe and sound inside. So, we didn't even get a dramatic save in this comic, which is also stupid. Baloo finds the submarine and dives down and does a hyperbole up to force Mad Dog and Dumptruck off the submarine, who were firing their guns. Mad Dog forgot to take his flippers off by the way and Baloo was forced to dodge his head when a bullet went through the windshield.

This causes Baloo to take a sick bump into the window; and that window didn't shatter, right off his head. At least I understood why he did that because he was almost shot in the head and that was like Kit in Plunder and Lightning Part Two and maybe closer. Baloo is concussed, which made me cringe. (You know what I hate now: Using the word "cringe" for any act that annoys people. If you are annoyed, just say "annoy". Cringing after seeing someone get a gruesome broken limb, or lands on their head is perfectly acceptable, even if it's a cartoon. When it applies to mere words, you are just weaking the meaning of the word. Heck, even saying that the word was "racist" or "bigoted" would be a lot better. Heck, even "problematic" isn't bad in a pinch. Saying "cringe" doesn't make you look smart, it makes you look dumb for no reason.) However, the situation was unavoidable, making it even scarier. (That means the cringe means something and the word is not wasted.) Louie takes over the controls and they head towards Higher For Hire. We return in the office with Kit shocked while looking out the window as he notices Louie's is at the controls. Those DNA-altered carrots Kit must be eating are awesome! (Maybe Kit really needed that mother figure after all. He was more likely to trust women more than men at this point.) Rebecca runs out with Kit and they had forty-five seconds to spare. However, that's still three hours late anyway as Louie turns around and lands thanks to Kit screaming to put the flaps up. (Okay, that's one thing Kit did in this story. I stand corrected.) I find it odd that Louie is claiming that this is the first time he piloted the SeaDuck. So, who was piloting the SeaDuck at the end of "A Touch Of Glass"?! Huh, maybe it was Rebecca all along?! Knowing Libby Hinson wrote that story; it probably was Rebecca. Louie calls Kit and Rebecca, Cuzzie and Cuzzette. (Speaking of names that annoy me...) Rebecca storms into the plane, accuses Baloo in the pilot seat of sleeping at the wheel and letting a rank amteur fly the SeaDuck. So, what is your and Kit's excuse then, Rebecca?! Baloo is still popping his brain and thinks Rebecca is at Louie's, because he's concussed, you see. The artwork is just getting worse as this story is going on and Kit has done almost nothing but talk in this one. Sadly, he's not going to do anything else except maybe take a wave bump we never see. Baloo and Louie go into over-dramatics about the waves, Rebecca isn't buying it; except Kit notices the waves. (Oops, Rebecca!)

They all get swamped into the ocean and Rebecca is the only one shown in the water when Baloo drags her out of the sea. Yeah. By the way, that's the end of Kit in this story basically. Why he was even in this story is a mystery to me. Baloo and Louie run to the SeaDuck and enter while Kit stays behind. Why?! I don't know! As this was going on, we jump cut to outside the Cape Suzette Cliff guns as Mad Dog is in a wooden barrel making waves with the Wave Maker. Dumptruck is towing the rope on the submarine with Don Karnage cheering victory and being funny as usual. Don wants Mad Dog to destroy the cliff heading into the harbor with the Wave Maker and Mad Dog gleefully complies with Dumptruck gleefully cheering this on. Sadly; this doesn't work as in comes the SeaDuck. Baloo proclaims that they need to stop the waves instantly as Louie is afraid of whopper waves getting them first. Baloo has a Krackpotkin Plan as Don has had enough of wishy-washy waves and wants to flood the city instead. SeaDuck flies in as Louie cosplays Kit sans Airfoil and steals the Wave Maker: Which looks like a rifle with a dish on the mouth of the gun. (Why didn't they just have Kit do this spot?! Writer, please explain why your version was acceptable?!) That is goofy in itself. However, Don Karnage's new golden rifle -- which comes completely out of nowhere is so goofy -- that even the NRA would be against it. We need golden rifle gun control here! It literally looks like a musical horn shaped into a gun that shoots bullets. Don Karnage shoots, Louie dodges and shoots the water with the Wave Maker. (Note to writers: I would change this to the "Great Leviathan Tidal Bore" because it rules!) This causes waves to swamp the submarine. Don tries to dive. However, the barrel breaks through into the submarine as Don has a fish in his hands. The gun magically disappears on cue and Don wants them to break out the life raft to save himself. HAHA! (SUZY SHEEP~?!) So, that was that as we head back to Higher For Hire as the SeaDuck has landed and Kit doesn't speak a word. Louie wants his island back perfecto-like and everything would be copacetic. Which means "in excellent order". Baloo offers to give him the cheap labor he needs to rebuild Louie's. So, Rebecca gives him a hammer, saw and boards as she calls Baloo a one-man whiz-bins construction guy who is a party boy, who will do it for free. HAHA! Baloo grumbles and that ends the story. Artwork sucked, the story was all right, Kit was useless, Don was funny and the ending was really hilarious in hindsight. Call it ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we have a mixed bag of stories; but I'm disappointed in the second story. Danger With Dangerwoman is not a story that was terrible because of a bad ending or a concept that didn't work. (Your Baloo's In The Mail.) This was not because of BS&P killing the coolness off to please a target demographic that the series was not targeting. (Ghost Ship.) No; this story was bad because it was a utter mess. I like the idea; but if this made television, I would totally rewrite this. You do not let Kit loose in the Iron Vulture and think that he's going to be an innocent bystander. That made your heels look stupider than they need to be. Keep Kit tied up and let him try to escape from that so then Kit's heroics would be ever better. Plus; Molly did absolutely nothing but cut promos and be cute. I don't mind her doing that per se. However, Kit Cloudkicker basically saved himself and the safe on his own. Above all; Baloo would have been able to do all this on his own without Molly. It was like the writer was told to do something with Molly and the writer didn't want to play ball. So, he just let Molly cut promos and do nothing. It's too bad because I like the concept and I want to get behind this; but like I said a million times: How you book a concept is much more important than having a concept. Execution is key. This was badly executed and it made Molly look weak, did nothing for Karnage and made Kit look like Super Mouse without trying. Don Karnage was funny as always. However; he's popular, so there you go. Voodoo Baloo is much better; but it has it's share of problems; mostly due to the concept of the voodoo doll being problematic. They could have done this story without the doll and it wouldn't be much different. If you are going to denounce the Love Potion angle; then you have to admit that the voodoo doll is also problematic. All this did is turn Rebecca into the jerkass monsters sexist men claim she is. This is why I often say that I think men get their ideas of Rebecca from the comics because the television series is much better with treating Rebecca in this regard. (Heck, to a lesser degree; the Super Baloo comics handled her very well all things considered.) Other than that; it was a fun episode otherwise and the natives were not even the problem with this story. The Nearly Last Wave was fine; although Kit wasn't much in this one. Don Karnage was his usual self, Louie saved the day in a rare moment for him and the artwork was bad. Overall; just a bunch of decent to below average stories. Which the later is so rare in TaleSpin, you really have to dig through the archives. More stories to come and so...

Thumbs in the middle pointing up for Voodoo Baloo and The Nearly Last Wave. Thumbs barely down for Danger With Dangerwoman and I'll see you all next time!

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