TaleSpin Comics: Knight Fright/The Girl From Pango-Pango/Pirate For A Day

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TaleSpin Comics: Knight Fright/The Girl From Pango-Pango/Pirate For A Day Rant

Reviewed: 09/24/2016
Additional Commentary: 12/28/2025

Welcome To The Wacky World Of TaleSpin Comics, Part 13!

Original Release: 06/00/1992 (Knight Fright), 03/00/1993 (The Girl From Pango-Pango), 12/10/1990 (Pirate For A Day) .

So, more random comic stories from TaleSpin continues as the next three stories all are Kit focused stories. YIPPPEEEEE! In these stories; Kit must fight a killer dragon after becoming the "Soaring Hero Of The Skies". (2025 Gregory Weagle Says: Geez; I wonder where former self got my "Kit is God" theories from?!) Then Kit finds a girlfriend -- and is a much better human being than Ken Izzy ever was -- that was "kidnapped" by a fish furry. Finallty, we then we get one of the funniest screwjobs any characters has ever performed as the Air Pirates kidnap Kit and try to apease him in order to make him an Air Pirate again. Kit's reaction: "Okay. Tee hee!" Yeah, this is the sort of thing Kit has to deal with in the comics. "The Girl From Pango-Pango" debuted in 1993 on Disney Adventures Volume 3.05; "Knight Fright" debuted in 1992 in Disney Adventures Volume 2.08 and "Pirate For A Day" debuted in Volume 1.02 of Disney Adventures in 1990 on December 10th. Which is literally weeks after Plunder and Lightning aired in syndication! The timing for that story couldn't have been any better! How do these stories fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!

"Knight Fright" is written by Eddie Torr with artwork done by Cosme Quartieri and Robert Bat. I have zero on Eddie Tor. "The Girl From Pango-Pango" is written by Jim Bricker and artwork was done by Oscar F. Saavedra, Carlos Valenti and Raul Barbero. Jim started with Open Season for Renegade Press in 1986 to 1988 along with Slave Labor Graphics on Doctor Radium, Little Ronzo In Slumberland and One-Fisted Tales from 1987-1991. He worked for Strawberry Jam Comics on Open Season and Night Life in 1988 until 1989 before working for Disney comics on TaleSpin, Darkwing Duck and Roger Rabbit comics in the early 1990's. "Pirate for A Day" is written by Cherie Wilkerson and artwork is done by Cosme Quartieri, Carlos Valenti and Ruben Torreiro. Cherie Wilkerson according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Cherie Dee Wiilkerson is a writer best known for her work on animated television series such as Batman: The Animated Series, DuckTales, The Transformers and the 1988 version of Superman, amongst others. Her TV writing career lasted from 1984 through 1992. She also has published several short stories in the genres of horror and fantasy, beginning with an appearance in the 1981 anthology Shadows 4, edited by Charles L. Grant. She served as a co-editor for the 1995 non-fiction book The Big Elfquest Gatherum.[1] Since 1996, she has worked as a freelance copy editor. Yes; she wrote TaleSpin stories on the comics. (Pirate For A Day was her best TaleSpin story, I should note.) She has 9 Writer credits and 2 Misc credits on IMDB; including Pocket Dragon Adventures in 1998.

Knight Fright: We begin this one over Thembrian air space with Baloo flying the SeaDuck while Kit is outside on his bloody red airfoil --throwing what appears to be a banana -- and towrope dodging hails of bullets from Thembrian airplanes. Damn, more putting kids in the line of gunfire and these comic books are even worse at it. (See the "shooting gallery" scene in Idiots Abroad!) Kit points out that Baloo violated Thembrian air space just to save ten minutes of return flight to Cape Suzette. (Of course, Higher For Hire creates another international incident. Even Donald Duck wasn't this bad.) BS&P Alerts: The bullets are called bombs by Baloo. Remember 4Kids were calling bombs, "blaster balls" in Pokemon?! Well; there you go. (Considering Thembria using bath tubs as weapons, I wouldn't put it past them to use bombs as bullets. They are that wacky as a nation.) Colonel Spigot is inside one of the Thembrian planes as the artwork is horrible here. He proclaims that he loves mayhem and destruction as more shooting occurs. (Well, there is one reason why Colonel Spigot ought to be shot then!) Baloo's afraid that Rebecca will string him up as Spigot's drips have shot the SeaDuck. (I'm guessing that "drips" is an insult for "minion". Although it actually means "a boring person without strong character", it fits minion as well.) Spigot's plane shoots and hits the right wing of the SeaDuck. This causes Kit to lose control of the tow rope. Kit is scared as Baloo tells him to not "go afraid" on him, and glide a lot on the trusty airfoil. I can understand Kit being afraid because there are like, FOUR Thembrian planes whom aren't suffering from a bomb shortage. (Heck, the Thembrians can shoot them with puck guns. Same violence, more realism, create an angle that Thembrians are good at ice hockey and the Mighty Ducks Animated Series can steal the concept.) The SeaDuck dives and smacks into a snowbank as Baloo gets out of the SeaDuck and cannot find Kit anywhere. In comes three polar bear furries wearing suits of armor on horseback looking like something out of the Middle Ages. Baloo is panicky about Kit's safety and then panics on his own safety.

He calls the place "Freezealot", which is enough for the knights to tie up Baloo a lot and throw him on the horse with the purple coat. Baloo is pleading that he was just joking. However, these polar bears have no sense of humor as we find out that it's the Isle of Ice. (And that doesn't mean "nice".) Baloo's their prisoner and the king will determine his fate. The purple coat horse rides off with Baloo in tow as Kit is shown gliding down, lands on the snow asking where the party is and compliments on the costumes. Kit asks if there is a nice cozy fireplace with about a million logs to go inside of it. (It's not that cold, come on now, Kit!) The two polar bear knights are in awe as they bow before Kit because he is the "Flying Warrior of Legend!" Yes folks; Kit Cloudkicker is their messiah! The two knights bow and then ride towards the castle while lifting Kit's airfoil; allowing Kit to sit on the airfoil. Kit is confused as the two knight hail him as the "warrior from the sky". I had an idea to remake this comic book into a fanfic story. (Codename: Dragoon Tyrant.) Which would had a similar plot line. However, make it fit more into the drama TaleSpin is known for since this story is really silly and simple. However; I never wrote a draft for it, since I suck at fanfic writing. We see that the red Thembrian plane has turned grey for no reason. So, the "changing colors with wet pjs" rule applies here. It's over a giant ice floe showing a castle as Spigot's accent is as bad as it was in "Rise Of The Pillager Queen". (Only Bobbi Weiss didn't write the story this time around.) The guise of this is that Spigot states that it's not worth going there and wants to return to Thembria because he's not stupid. (He works for a High Marshall who wants him shot. Colonel Spigot is still stupid, you see.) We head inside the castle as we see the Polar Bear king in yellow robes with blue robes on the inside with his train, guard and Kit who is wearing a suit of armor and leather boots. Although Kit gets to keep the baseball cap. (Betcha the king told him to keep it to better identify the "warrior of the sky".) The king calls him the "great soaring warrior" and proclaims that they have long waited for him to guide them to victory over something. However; Kit cuts him off because he's not some fly-by-night and he wants to find Baloo.

The king asks if he's the fat bear, Kit says "yes" and asks if he had seen him. (Yes, the king called him fat. Be warned Kit, it will happen to you and I have the evidence to prove it. Ducktales 2017, everyone.) The king claims he has and Kit orders them to bring the fat bear to him right away as the king sells. (Because Kit is their "god of the sky", you see.) In comes Baloo protesting this outrage from the guards carrying him, because he is dressed like...a court jester. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! "The Isle Of Ice" is just great as Baloo's punishment is to become the King's fool. The perfect job for the "Fat Bear". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Kit and Baloo are so happy for each other and they hug each other, counting their blessing that neither one is dead. Baloo asks about the steel threads as the king states the legends state that the flying warrior would lead them to victory over the dragon. Baloo and Kit ask if that is all; and then we cut to outside as all the babyfaces are on horseback on parade. Baloo and Kit finally realize that they really have to fight an actual dragon! This is exactly like "Quack Of Ages" from DARKWING...DUCK! ("Quack Of Ages" was better than this comic story. However, that episode was better executed mostly due to Quackerjack and the artwork was much better inspite of an overkill ending.) The knights chant "To the dragon's lair" on the go. We make it to the cave as the guards push Baloo and Kit towards the cave. The king informs us that the cave of the "Great & Ferocious Dragon" has killed over ten million men. HOLY CRAP! That's a bigger body count than most R-rated movies! Baloo responds saying that he would like to find this legend and shut him up as he asks the king if he has seen the dragon. The king says no. However, if someone foolishly nears the cave; it invokes the FLAMETHROWER OF DEATH~! Everyone bails while Baloo somehow takes it in the face because his jester hat gets completely burned to ashes. (The artists seem to try a Looney Tunes spot, but they got cold feet. Speaking of cowards...) Kit notices that the knights of Ice have backed away like a bunch of cowards. Well; I don't blame them, that dragon was dangerously close to Sir Gyro De Gearloose levels. I can only imagine how this would have written and shown if this made television. (With Jymn Magon's BS&P: I half expected at least one person to die during the episode.)

Baloo calls his hat three different ways of being burnt to ashes as Kit points out that he hated the hat. Baloo claims that he's used to it and is so pissed off that he runs into the cave and wants to meet a fifth rate furance in the flesh. (Baloo is more into the "too stupid to live" than Molly ever was! That amused me for some reason.) Kit follows Baloo, pleading for him to keep to the wall as they dodge more flamethrowers. Kit just has to make a "burn our britches before we cross" pun. (Might as well say "burn their bridges", too; considering how long it took to give Kit Cloudkicker a second chance since TaleSpin ended in all media.) Baloo talks about going on a very fast diet. (The only true fast diet is decomposition. Which requires you to die first!) Kit and Baloo notice a giant pit and at the bottom of the pit is a winged green dragon with it's ankles chained to the ground with wooden pegs. Kit then realizes why the denizens have never seen him: This dragon's gimmick is when he talks; fire comes out of his mouth. (That was an interesting gimmick if nothing else.) Kit tells the dragon that the people bailed because they thought he was attacking them since the dragon has a problem with controlling his flamethrower promos. I should note that he calls Kit and Baloo, humans; which is silly since they are half animal. The dragon tells us that he was trapped for 1700 years since old wizard claimed him as his pet. (Which means that it took place sometime in 237 AD. Which means the "King Of Ice/Nice would be called Emperor Maxim Thrax! Not canon, but interesting to point out.) Well; the old wizard tried to at least. Implying that the dragon burned the wizard to death. OUCH! He asks Kit to free him and Kit brings out a lock pick from his baseball cap as Baloo calls him a poor fella. This doesn't sound like a good idea to me. If this made television, they would have done an angle where Kit solves the problem with his talking. Kit jumps down and gets on his airfoil, which would be a problem due to the heavy weight of the iron suit. However; the dragon cuts promos and breathes fire as Kit dodges the flamethrower. However, this actually serves the purpose of creating so much hot air that Kit is able to glide around as the dragon calls him a human again. He asks about the outside world and Kit calls him "Draggy". Kit explains that if cold was gold, King Midas would envy Draggy.

Kit glides to the lock, puts the lock pick into it, then jumps onto the ground and unpicks the lock as he once again references his work with the Air Pirates again. After picking the second lock, Kit goes flying as Draggy flies into the air in glee after 1700 years of binding. And really; this is like winning the Wrestlemania main event to him. (Awww, my heart melted!) Kit claims that he's thrilled to see it as Kit grabs onto Draggy's tail and rides him up via the airfoil. Draggy cannot stop talking which is forcing Baloo to dodge the flamethrower while Baloo calls it an oversized pocket lighter. HA! Draggy apologizes as we head outside the cave. The king asks about the babyfaces and the guards think they are dead, sadly. Apparently, the legend has the body count now at 112 million people! I've heard of embellishing; but this is beyond absurd! Then again; the whole concept of this world in a show that is grounded in reality for the most part is also absurd. Out comes Kit, Baloo and Draggy as the kingdom bails right on cue as Kit calls Draggy the answer to their prayers. So, the final shot of this story is Draggy using a large iron pipe to breathe fire through it and melt the entire "Isle of Ice" into the "Isle of Nice". This is so unbelievable that it exposes Torr as a rookie writer. (Nah, this is typical Ducktales-equse writing that is absurd. The end line by Kit is far worse.) The king thanks Baloo and Kit as the SeaDuck is out of the snowbank and the soaring warriors are wearing medals on their sweater and shirts. After all that bullshit?! Screw you, Nice Ice King! Baloo states that they should head back to Cape Suzette and Kit just has to do the dreaded final pun of doom which just exposes the rookie writing even more: "...We wouldn't want to get caught 'dragon our tails' would we?" (I get that this is related to Kit calling the dragon "Draggy". However...) That is such a lame way to end a TaleSpin story. "The Volcano of Gold" ending was much better than this because it was setup so well. This wasn't. In fact, this story looked and felt completely rushed with logic breaks and terrible artwork. It's really sad, because the idea was wonderful and the story was really fun. Still, I cannot give this more than *** (60%) in good conscience. (Quack Of Ages was *** 3/4 by the way.) This needs a much bigger scope and there was way too many constraints in the comics to pull it off.

The Girl From Pango-Pango: We begin this one on a dock outside the area of Pango-Pango. Out of place object of the day: A 1990's style lamp post. The SeaDuck has already docked as Baloo is showing papers to a dog nose wearing a purple dress, hat and sandals telling Baloo that this is their dock and the SeaDuck cannot park here inspite of all permits, including the permit to breath and exhale. Someone is either embellishing; or Pango-Pango -- a far east city that is ancient city of wonderful foods, exotic customs and mysterious intrigue according to the narrator -- is a really silly dictatorship. I'm guessing it's embellishing on Pop-A-Bear's part. Kit comes out of the SeaDuck as he is not impressed at this and Baloo admits that this is going to take forever because the dock manager has more in it's bonnet than a hive full of honey. Still; they have to meet with the courier with the shipment of machine parts. Kit then asks if he can go into the city for some sight seeing and Baloo approves it telling him to be careful because Pango-Pango is filled with all kinds of bad news. (This would be Wade Barrett's vacation spot, methinks.) Also, Kit has to be back at seven o'clock so they head back to Louie's. Kit walks off giggling as the dock manager demands a dock fee, causing Baloo to protest this outrage. (I would pay the damn fee and get it over with. It's not like your boss is going to like this anyway.) That amused me as we head into the market place, which Kit is thinking that it gives him the willies and is creepy. It looks like a simple marketplace from Hong Kong. Strangely; there is a location in TaleSpin television called Spango-Pango. I wonder if they are the same area; but the writer got the name wrong. Or maybe Hong Kong is Pango-Pango and Taiwan is Spango-Pango. I don't know. (That would have been a good question to sort out. However, this show is the epitome of crunch.) Anyhow; Kit notices a female about her age in a full pink dress shirt pants with sandals looking in a basket of white cloth and we meet and greet. The girl claims that she's just looking and Kit claims that he was looking as well because he's found a friend. Yes folks, the comics actually wanted Kit to have a girlfriend crush which was completely avoided in the television version. Probably because Rebecca already did that angle with William Stansbury and Baloo did with Kitten Kaboodle. (At least this crush Kit has is subtle and respectful.)

Kit and this girl walk together exchanging notes as Kit steals a flower from a flower pot and gives it to her. The girl loves it as she asks for a name and Kit does the exact name sequence he did in Plunder and Lightning. However, without the awkwardness the animation showed in the pilot. So, Kit is cutting the James Bond promo here. (Kit is getting more and more used to being in his own skin and accepting it, I see.) The girl panics on the name and runs away stage right before Kit can get her name. Kit runs after her and notices a dog nose wearing a yellow shirt, beige shorts and glasses grabbing the girl. Kit takes this as her being kidnapped and in a way she really was. However... Kit runs in to try to make the save. However, Kit then gets grabbed by a dog nose with a grey shirt and lime green shorts. Kit squirms as his mouth is covered. The yellow shirt dog nose's promo sounds like someone who understands the English language. However, it sounds like a robot in delivery. We head to a warehouse in the upper floors featuring an oriental office, where the grey shirt dog nose still has an iron grip on Kit; but cannot shut Kit up. (Notice how the girl is gone from this scene?! That in detective work would be a clue to the girl's actual identity.) Then we get a fish furry telling Kit to shut up because he's in big trouble... Wait a second? A fish furry?! Wow; just wow. Suck on that one, Zootopia! Kit protests this and demands answers to why he wants the girl. However, the fish furry in white tells him to concern himself instead. In other words, act like a sociopath with no empathy towards others; which Kit will have none of that. YAY! (Kit doesn't trust easily. What did Emil expect?!) We discover that the fish furry's name is Emil Piranha -- thus proving that he's a fish furry -- as he is used to getting his way. Kit doesn't give a damn about that and asks why he needs him because Kit's the bait for Baloo's capture. Emil calls him a waif by the way and chances are if Kit ever grows up; he'll remain that way. (Tanner Johnson would like to have a word with you, former self...) The grey shirt thug's name is Thugly by the way, which is amusing as Emil wants Kit tied up. Very tightly I might add. (Thugly sounds like a Donald Trump-equse name I should note.)

Emil's got some brains in is fish face as Kit literally bites Emil on the nose on-screen. (Spoke too soon, former self.) This confirms to me that Kit did bite Don Karnage in the ass in Plunder and Lightning. Kit wiggles free and runs stage right proclaiming that he hates seafood. Well, he has already had to deal with a giant squid that almost killed him and Molly, and only like TWO PEOPLE like anchovies -- that we know about -- in this world. (Yeah, that'll take years off trusting seafood and fish.) Kit apparently heads to an open door proclaiming that this all begin when the girl was kidnapped and he'll rescue her. (That was simple detective work there, sir.) The door slams in his face and Kit takes a MAN-SIZED bump off of it. Kit also loses his hat in the process as Kit is on his knees slowly getting up as the yellow shirt dognose opens the door and tells him to cower and knock his knees. He'll refuse, thank you! We head inside the marketplace with Baloo searching for Kit and not finding him. Baloo is thinking that Rebecca is going to kill him and then fire him because he got swindled out of fifty shaboozies and probably missed his drop. Then someone comes in asking for Baloo and as Baloo turns around; a green cover drops on Baloo. Apparently, it is coated with ether because Baloo is getting dizzy thinking it's Rebecca. We head back to a room inside Emil's warehouse as Kit is sitting in a chair tied up and they almost got it right as they tied his ankles; but not his knees. Kit struggles to get free; but no go as then the girl shows up. (How convenient, eh?!) Kit is surprised that she's free and whispers to her to come over here. She comes over and Kit is glad she's fine and I do like that they are whispering here because as the girl looks conflicted when Kit asks her to untie him. Kit asks what's wrong as the girl pushes the chair over. (!!!) Kit tumbles onto the ground breaking the chair and getting himself free. The girl is literally yelling for help claiming Kit has escaped. Kit grabs the girl by the hand and they jump over the window onto the roof. The girl asks what Kit is doing and Kit states that he is rescuing her. Uh-oh! Considering that she acted like she didn't want to do it, I sense she's a heel. Meanwhile, we head inside Emil's office as Emil is asking Thugly to check the room because he heard something amiss.

Baloo threatens to "amiss" Emil's teeth as Emil points out that Baloo was hired to ship cargo out of the city, something which Emil doesn't want ship out. Emil wants a swap: Give him the cargo and he'll give Kit back. (Sounds like a decent trade to me, until...) Baloo states that he doesn't have the cargo. I discover that the yellow shirt guy is Thugiler as Thugly stays with Baloo and Thugiler goes after Kit. (I note this because it's the yellow shirt guy chases Kit and the girl in the next scene. However, it makes it sound like Emil has no idea who is who, ala Mind Your Cheese & Q's in Rescue Rangers.) Emil accuses Baloo of lying while Baloo protests this outrage claiming that he can scrap the SeaDuck if Baloo is lying. Emil tells Baloo to shut up as he has a way to deal with fibbers. I hope you all are ready to see this; because it's unbelivable because it's Emil's favorite way too! UH-OH! I can see where this is going now. Cut to outside on the roof as Kit and the girl are running. The girl tells Kit that he doesn't know what he's doing. Kit asks what is wrong with escaping and the girl finally confesses that Emil is her uncle. Wow; Thuglier is smarter than I thought he was, since he tricked us all into thinking that when she was kidnapped by him with no signs that it was an act. The girl works for Emil you see as Kit just blows her off for working for Mr. Teeth! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there, Kit?! (Yeah, you nearly bit the fish face's nose off trying to escape the first time.) The girl claims that she liked him and Kit is about to go on about saying that; and then asks "You really do like me?!" BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can see why Kit never had a girlfriend. He's such a tool. In comes Thuglier as he blitzes Kit; but the girl steals Thuglier's glasses, Kit trips Thuglier over the roof and he lands in the garbage can below. (For goodness sake comic; GIVE HER A DAMN NAME!! She would be either Sasha or Yumei. (Although if I was booking this; she would be a fish furry as well instead of a dog nose, but that's neither here nor there.)) Kit basically states that this is yucky and he feels bad for the garbage. HAHA! (Probably feels bad for Oscar. Which one?! Does it matter?) The girl has a plan how they can get out of this.

And now we go to the...wait for it...wait for it...Pango Pango's largest sumo wrestling house. Yes folks; we are going to have sumo wrestling in this show. I should note that Yukio Okazaki's biggest work was in fact a sumo wrestling animation series called "Oh Harimanada!" by E&G Films, released in 1992. (Yukio Okzazki was the animation episode director for "Bullethead Baloo" for TaleSpin. However, his name was misspelt on the storyboards.) Sadly; no one doing the artwork for this has any idea how sumo wrestling works in terms of environment and it's treated like a professional wrestling match with the clearly shown boxing ring. (To be fair, sumo houses do host professional wrestling matchs from time to time. Their work is still a lot better than the billards spots on television and a hell of a lot better art wise than the American Football scene in Chargeman Ken!) We see Thugly and Emil sitting in a customized box enjoying themselves as they are stalling for time. Why?! I don't know! Baloo is in the ring wearing sumo clothes which are literally in the shape of a diaper and nothing else. (Sadly, this sumo wrestling match turns into a professional wrestling match.) Baloo is glad Rebecca isn't here because Rebecca will make diaper jokes. Which shows beyond reasonable doubt that women do like fart jokes. We hear the ring announcer address the crowd as Baloo must face the sumo wrestling "champeen" Tiny The Terror~! (Apparently, it's a wrestling match because Tiny is so powerful that he'll win within seconds in a sumo wrestling match just by pushing Baloo out of the ring. Emil wants to torment Baloo long enough so he can get his cargo.) Baloo groans on cue because Tiny is a giant ass blue bull with black curly hair and black trunks, so this is a straight wrestling match. If this made television; this would take up half of the running time, with Baloo getting treated like a jobber until Kit runs in for the DQ. (Yeah, pretty much. Tiny looks like he came out of Secret Of Mana, I should note.) Here, we hear the bell ring as the white haired referee in a striped cyan blue/white shirt yells for the match to begin. Baloo thinks that Tiny is part jello blob, part freight train and 100% horn, which shows that his description skills suck. This bull is a walking Larson & Gary clear as day.

Baloo moves his leg and then sidestep calling the bull a "fatso" as Tiny gets tangled in the ropes. (I wondered where Kit got his body shaming antics on Baloo from?!) Baloo taunts him as Tiny turns around and untangles himself. Baloo claims that he's kidding as he backpedals claiming that he's really "Blubber Buns". Tiny is pissed as Baloo sidesteps him again. (Baloo is trying to judo his way to victory. However...) Tiny apparently attempted a springboard moonsault press and misses. This causes breaking the ring in the middle, in the process. Which in WWE would be the finish and it's a no contest. Thugly is amused at this as Emil is scratching his head. However, he states that it isn't over yet, so it is not the finish. (BOOOOO! Bullshit! See what I did there?!) Tiny grabs Baloo by the neck and winds up to punch the fuck out of Baloo as Baloo is kidding again. Then a tomato splats into Tiny's face as Kit is hanging from a rope with a second tomato from the window above the roof of the press box. Baloo grabs the rope and as he climbs up, Baloo does a double mule kick into Tiny's chest and knocks him down on his back on the canvas for the DQ. (That's right. Baloo got disqualified because Kit threw a tomato at Tiny. Makes sene, but the broken ring should have ended the contest right there! Emil Wrestling Empire sucks!) Then Thugly brings out a cannon and shoots it at Baloo! I realize that cannon balls aren't quite bullets. However, they are close enough to make the difference. (Heck, shoot rubber pucks at them if you want a dangerous BS&P'ed weapon!) Baloo blows it off as Baloo and Kit jump out of the window as Baloo asks how Kit found him and Kit claims someone helped him as Baloo makes a diaper joke. And in the very next frame; the diaper is gone and he's in his yellow shirt. This makes the repaired shirt in Last Horizons look really, really subtle in comparison. Baloo asked who helped her and Kit says "she"; but notices that she's missing. Kit and Baloo jump down from the roof onto the ground. Baloo claims Emil wants the machine parts. Something tells me that is BS&P for "opium"; but I'm not sure. (That would not surprise me in the least.) The babyfaces bail stage right as cannon fire rains down on them. Geez; they fire more guns in the comics then even the television series at this rate!

Baloo and Kit make it to the docks as Baloo thinks the girl is the courier. Which Kit has to correct Baloo on that one. Dammit; who is her name, Kit?! Even Chargeman Ken's "I Got a Girlfriend" at least addressed her by name! (Kit could have easily asked for the name right now and chose not too! Sure, you can blame the writer for this as well. However, it is not a good look for Kit Cloudkicker!) She claims that she has met the courier, gives Baloo a sack of money and the cargo is on the plane. She tells Kit and Baloo to leave before they get caught. Kit says "no" and wants the girl to come. Girl no sells as Kit tries to get her into the plane as Emil is closing in; but no go. The girl claims that she cannot go and it's safer if she stays put in Pango-Pango. This is stupid as you'll see near the end of the story. The girl opens the pilot's door of the SeaDuck, pushes Kit in and slams it. Kit is in the navigator's chair pleading for Baloo to stop. Baloo starts the engines and takes off as cannons and bazookas are fired at the SeaDuck. Emil and Thugly run in as she apologizes for letting the boy get away. Emil demands her to call the airport and arrange a plane as we hear sirens as the police have arrived. Emil is shocked and appalled and the girl is smiling. You know what, I am wrong in this finish making no sense! Emil and Thugly get arrested and hauled off by the officers as the girl holds the white lily flower in tears saying goodbye to Kit. She pushed Kit into the SeaDuck because she thought Kit and Baloo would be arrested for stealing Emil's cargo. (Which Emil was protesting all the way. Even if that was true; Emil kidnapped Baloo and Kit instead of calling the police. So, I assume he's lying.) After all, she was working for him and thus she would be arrested as well. However; the girl was smiling when the police arrived. She knew they were coming. So, she either told the courier or told the police herself what happened and she got off as a result because they didn't arrest her at all here. This makes sense actually. (Wait, am I reading a TaleSpin comic, or watching a Chicago PD episode back in 1990?!) What bothers me about this is that the girl played a big role in the story and we never knew her name once! Even in spite of the fact that Kit actually asked for one early in the story! So, this wasn't a lazy writer; this was on purpose! We were not suppose to know her name. (I'll never understand why the writer made this decision. I really don't.)

We head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Baloo is glad this is over and doesn't have to wear a diaper anymore. (Okay, I'll admit that while not giving the main girl a name, what happens next is far more offensive and should have been changed!) However, Kit is not happy about this moment. Baloo asks why Kit is not happy about this moment. Now, here's a moment I would change if this made television because it is in fact a sexist comment. (The sexism is nothing compared to how horrifying Baloo's line is compared to the honestly legit question Kit asked.) Kit asked why a girl would do what she didn't want to do. Personally; the question is a good one, even if Kit used gendered language here. Baloo's answer is that "It's easier to catch chickens barefoot on greased linoleum than to explain girls." WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK, POP-A-BEAR?! I hated that promo because the answer turns the decision the girl made in this story into a complete joke. The answer should be: "I guess ol'fish face did something really awful to her!" and Kit would answer: "That was what I was afraid of." Now, I get that this implies that she was raped or even sexually assaulted. (Which is a bad look for the show. However, their decision to get around this was far worse.) However, this isn't supposed to be a joke. Kit is asking a legit question here. Now granted; Baloo has made sexist comments before and calling the girl a girl is fine because she was actually a girl. She was the same age as Kit is actually. However, he's acting as if all girls are difficult to explain, and thus making them look like jokes. It's so bigoted and bad as an ending to this story. It's a shame because this story was really great, in spite of the logic breaks. Although considering how Last Horizons was treated by the audience after the Panda-la incident, this comic strip probably wouldn't make television either. (Neither would "Dogs Of War", for obvious reasons. More on that in a future rant.) Still; the best story of the three in this rant, in terms of writing and logic, at **** 1/4 (85%). However, in spite of the werid writing and bad logic breaks of our next subject; this story doesn't even compare to our final one of this set. That's because it features the greatest screw job in Disney history and this heel deserved every single bit of it, to boot! Here we go....

Pirate For A Day: We begin this one in the skies in the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Don Karnage and the Air Pirates are in CT-37's shooting bullets at the SeaDuck once again. (Let's get all the shooting out of our system right off the beginning!) The narrator claims that Don Karnage is giving Kit and Baloo a little flak today. You don't say?! Baloo is mad because he's going to be late again thanks to that pesky pirate. Kit then chimes in that this is the same excuse he used on Rebecca a week ago; even though this one is in fact true in this case. So, then we get Kit jumping out of the navigator's window and is on his airfoil which is yellow colored today. (Did I mention how much I love this trait in the comics?! This needs to be a thing in the TaleSpin reboot.) Kit looks mighty aggressive and his face appears like someone wanting to kill someone. He manages to defy physics and gravity again as he has brought out the RECORD OF DEATH. He throws it into the propellers and the record somehow trumps propeller blades and destroys them. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Kit sounds like Booker T, even saying "sucka" which is highly out of character for him. (The wrestler Booker T; not the murderer.) He also tells them to tell their boss that he and Baloo sent them packing and made them wish they picked on someone else. We discover that the brown plane with the broken props is Mad Dog's as Mad Dog spirals around and clips the tail section of a grey plane. I didn't know CT-37's can have two passengers. (The artwork continuity is a mess. However, it's still way better than Mission Maybe Sort Of A Little Impossible.) Dumptruck claims that they are in trouble as Don proclaims that he's too young, handsome, clever and anything to die. HA! The grey plane crashes into a tree as Don jumps down from the tree and blames his brainless piles of mayhem for being idiots. Because he's the dread pirate and doesn't deserve this. (He sounds like heel Stone Cold Steve Austin after getting glass in his eyes by the Undertaker.) Mad Dog blames Kit Cloudkicker for this and Don actually calls Kit so good that he would almost make a proper successor to him. (Mad Dog is right about Kit being blamed for this. However...) Remember all the fanfics where I and other claimed that Don Karnage was grooming Kit to be a successor to him on television?!

Well, Don Karnage just admitted that in the comics. I just love how the comics are openly coming out on Kit's pirate life after every attempt from television creative to limit the angle to just Plunder and Lightning. We head to the docks of Higher For Hire as Baloo and Rebecca are arguing again about Baloo being late. (Pretty much every episode involving Baloo being late. Nothing out of the ordinary just yet.) At least Baloo has a case this time as Kit watches on. The artwork is wonky at best and crappy at worst in this story as Dumptruck and Mad Dog grab Kit from behind proclaiming that Don has big plans for Kit. Now; at this point, it is just a silly story. However, now things are going to be absolutely magical from here on out. Hint: Watch Kit Cloudkicker himself during the rest of this comic. It's glorious! We head inside the grey plane which looks straight out of the Thembria planes in the television series as we head in the cockpit with Don piloting the plane with Dumptruck and Mad Dog watching on. Kit is wearing green bodysuit with a patch in the middle of his heart with a belt, a green coat and green goggle hat. He looks beyond the pale awesome as Don states that he needs a protege and he is going to satisfy all of Kit's desires to convince him to become an Air Pirate again. (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is going to end really badly for Don and perfect for Kit. I don't care what Don fans think about this because this was all Don Karnage's idea! Don is about to reap what he sowed!) Kit's smiling is so obvious that he might as well be wearing a sign that says: "I'm going to fuck you up so bad, you're such a tool, Captain!" (Word, former self.) He is so thrilled and is acting like he does not give a crap at all. This is so great! (I hope Peppa and George are taking notes because this is the perfect troll job by Kit here.) Time for the greatest screwjob in the history of screw jobs to commence! Screwjob #1: Don wants to teach Kit how to fly the plane as Kit takes the transmitter and talks into it, in which Kit elbows the switch right in front of Dumptruck. (This needs the "Puppet-In-Box" music from Peppa Pig.) Dumptruck even points out this as Kit teases pushing the yellow button.

Screwjob #2: Don tells Kit not to touch the button as it's the eject button. Kit plays dumb claiming that he doesn't see the button. Dumptruck then pushes the button like a complete moron and his seat ejects with him as Dumptruck goes through the roof of the plane and is never seen again for the rest of the story. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so loving this! Don Karnage sits Kit down on the crate as he is doing this because he doesn't want his plundering protege to be hurt. (I just love that Don now cares about Kit's safety despite the boy has committed high treason on Don, twice! Also is about to do it thrice and it sure wasn't the Isle Of Nice!) Don Karnage is such a tool that I'm laughing my ass off because Kit is just smiling with a shit-eating grin that would make Digger jealous. Kit now knows that he is absolutely playing Don Karnage like a fiddle and Don is just game to being played for my amusement. Kit claims that he cannot be as smart as Don just to blow up Don's pride before his big fall. (We know it's a lie; but we are not telling Don that.) Don proclaims that he and Kit are going to raid the good ship "Queen Foraday" to prove that he is smart. ("Queen For A Day" is close to "Pirate For A Day". Also funny.) Kit's reaction is priceless because everyone reading this knows what is going to happen. However, I cannot help but cackle and laugh at how desperate Don is in getting Kit back on his side even though this is the same kid who has screwed Don Karnage twice in the television series! Don goes to the switch to turn on the radio. However, Mad Dog has to point out that it's off as Don blows it off. Kit is smiling and he cannot wait to do the next screw job. Oh damn, that is so glorious as well. Sadly, we then we have to break the funny tension as we head inside an office. I think it's Higher For Hire, because the artwork sucks in this story, sadly. Baloo and Rebecca are listening to the final part of the message as Rebecca wants Baloo to save Don Karnage from Kit...ERRR...I mean Kit from Don Karnage. We cut to the docks as Baloo proclaims that a pirate raid is no place for an office-type like Rebecca. I just love the fact that Cherie found a way to have Baloo make a sexist comment without mentioning Rebecca's gender at all. Rebecca no sells because a rescue operation that takes brain is no place for him, so she is going anyway. You couldn't just say: "I own the SeaDuck!"?! (Cherie is no Bobbi Weiss sadly.)

Anyhow; we head over the ocean as we see the ocean liner "Queen Foraday" sailing. Which is merely a prop for the chaos and screw job Kit is going to perform here. In comes three CT-37's and the "Pirate Plane of Death" from the east as Don tells the backup to go around the ship and fly backwards, any half of them. HA! One of the CT-37's pilots asks if they need anyone going backwards as we head to the cockpit with Mad Dog and Kit co-piloting the plane. Don is on the transmitter proclaiming that Kit gets to fire the rocket when he says the word "Kablooey!" This leads to Kit telling Don Karnage that he will never regret this. Which prompts Mad Dog to say that Don will regret this. Yes; Don Karnage is so delusional and so desperate to groom the kid who screwed him in Plunder and Lightning twice -- back into not only an Air Pirate; but his successor -- that Mad Fucking Dog is noticing all this is bullshit on Kit's part. Don blows him off because "kablooey" is a wonderful word. Yup, Don Karnage says the FCC FORBIDDEN WORD OF THE DAY and Kit responds by talking with the most hideously hilarious stereotypical pirate you ever heard while firing the rockets causing even Don Karnage to say "uh-oh". BWHAHAHAHA! I cannot contain myself! This is beyond the pale hilarious on every level! (Remember, Don Karnage wanted Kit back on his side. It's all on Karnage now. The fact that Kit Cloudkicker talked like a stereotypical pirate was on purpose and a clue to the audience that he was absolutely making Don Karnage look like a total moron.) Smoke ensues as Don admits that he was a bit too ambitious in his plans. That's the understatement of the series right there folks! What a tool?! I think the artwork implied that Kit destroyed the three CT-37's because we never saw them again. (Yup, he breaks his record for beating four heels by himself, set when he beat three heels by himself in "Danger With Dangerwoman". However, he hasn't beaten Mad Dog and Don Karnage yet, so the record doesn't count. Yet...) We cut to the SeaDuck as Rebecca Cunningham is flying the plane! This story is such a special day! (Well, Rebecca can fly a plane, so it makes sense. Although it should be switched for obvious reasons.)

Baloo is in Kit's seat with the binoculars as he calls Don Karnage a swashbuckling scum for firing rockets at his own men. Big Logic Break: Rebecca is acting like Baloo's flying the plane when he wasn't. So, the dialogue should be from Baloo: "You got it backwards, Rebecca -- They are trying to hit you!" This proves that Cherie wrote this script in a hurry and didn't have it checked by an editor to make sure it made sense. That being said...Rebecca hopes Kit is all right and Baloo intends to find out. Now we head back in the back of the Air Pirates plane as Don gives Kit a "sword" as we are going to learn the basics of sword fighting. Mad Dog states that Kit looks ridiculous. UH OH! That's a no-no, Mad Dog. Kit whacks him and the motion of the sword swing looks like he hit Mad Dog in the nuts, and Mad Dog's selling was godawful. That just made this scene even funnier than I think even the artists intended it to be. (Kit basically cut Mad Dog off at the cock! Amazing!) Kit opens the side door off-screen as a wooden plank comes out of nowhere as Mad Dog is literally walking the plank with Kit pointing the sword at him! Mad Dog whines at him and Kit tells him to tell it to the fishies. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mad Dog is forced off the plank and Mad Dog free falls into the water with Mad Dog whining that he hates water on the way down. (Mad Dog is now defeated and we are up to five! Only the captain is left...) I wish this story made television; I really want it too. Sure; there would be a boatload of changes; but the general idea is beyond hilarious. (Well, "Sky Pirates...In The Sky" is sort of like this story. Only it's Dewey and Dan Karnage. Whoops, I mean, Don Karnage's descendant.) Don calls this fiendishly clever as something Don would do. Kit is so touched that he manages to force Don onto the wooden plank because it's his turn to jump. Don, of course, realizes that Kit has turned on him as he touches the sword because the sword is made of rubber. (Wait, Mad Dog got hit with rubber and he sold it?! What a wimp Mad Dog is?!) Don taunts him to do his worst like a total moron, instead of grabbing him and throwing him out of the plane to his death. (People will say that this is BS&P stepping in. However, it's not like Kit can escape being thrown out. There's no evidence the pirates took Kit's yellow airfoil either.)

Kit then basically says "Checkmate!" and throws a wooden box over Don Karnage's head causing Don to try to grab it like a complete moron. (If Don doesn't catch it and look at it, he's safe on the plank.) Don falls over the plank and free falls. Mad Dog remembers to parachute in shadow as we see the SeaDuck. Baloo has taken over the controls as Kit informs Baloo via the radio that he's all right and watch out for falling pirates. Which means Kit is flying the Air Pirate plane! AWESOME! (Hey, I can believe that one in a Cimena 101 sort of way.) Then we get the greatest thing I have ever seen all time, all my life: Don Karnage bounces off the nose cone of the SeaDuck and then the wooden box he failed to catch nails him hard in the head on the way down as Don free falls in the drink. (Yeah, it was another concussion. However, that is a hundred million in one chance of happening. Still, cringeful worthy in a different sense.) Baloo sounds like Kit here for some reason as we head to the final panel with the SeaDuck and the Pirate plane heading stage left. Mad Dog is in a makeshift boat with Don Karnage as Don blames Mad Dog for everything. Mad Dog blows him off because it was all Kit's fault. And, it really was as Kit defeated all three major heels by himself without even touching them! (How bad are you as heels to lose to someone who doesn't even touch you, much less stabs you?!) Don orders Mad Dog to swim as he doesn't want anyone to mention Kit's name ever again to him to end the story. Yes folks; Kit Cloudkicker has humiliated Don so much that he wants to forget that Kit Cloudkicker existed. Cherie Wilkerson did something the television series failed to do: Give a story line reason why Don Karnage always forgets that Kit was a former Air Pirate. Also, what a hell of a hilarious story this was?! Yes, this story had bad to wonky artwork and some really bad logic, but who cares?! The story they told about Kit screwing Don Karnage over so hard and making Don Karnage pay for trying to make him into something he never wanted to be was not only glorious, it was hilarious as well. Kit beat six heels by himself basically. Don Karnage was so delusional and such a tool in this story and I loved every second of this! This is **** (80%); but eighteen stars on the trainwreck scale, just for Kit's performance alone. And you thought the Gummi Bears were hardcore on Sunni Gummi in "Guess Who's Gumming For Dinner?"?!

THE REVIEW LINE

Even in the comics, Kit is always ready to deliver the awesome in spite of all attempts by the comic book writers to write crappy materials. "Knight Fright" is a good concept marred by the fact that it was totally rushed and full of nonsense. Kit carried this story to a decent outing and I enjoy Kit saving the day. In that context, it worked on that level. However; this is basically a really dumb version of "Quack Of Ages" from Darkwing Duck and it looked rushed and the rookie writer fingerprints were all over it; from the absurd finish to Kit making the lame pun joke at the end. It just reeked of a first time writer who didn't get past this script. I do like Draggy and the "Isle of Ice/Nice". However, they could have done so much more with it; but space constraints disallowed it. "The Girl from Pango-Pango" is the best written of the three with a terrible sexist ending and no thought nor effort in making the mythos of Pango-Pango be anything else, but a generic oriental city. I like Emil as he was a perfectly fine heel. However, the girl sadly had no name, which might have been intentional instead of hack writing since Emil's henchmen had wacky names. The story was straight forward and I'm glad that they kept Kit's crush as subtle as they could because I would have hated it if it became like modern cartoons and Kit goes into stalker mode. This allowed Kit to be a hero and had the justification to rescue her in spite of the fact that the girl's uncle was Emil. Emil's look is wonderful as the first fish furry in the series. I wish the artists would extend it beyond the heels though. "Pirate For A Day" is the messiest of the three with wonky or terrible artwork, logic breaks (Rebecca flying the SeaDuck claiming Baloo is, two passenger CT-37's) and it was way too compressed. However, it was like the "Final Deletion" from TNA: It was the funniest spectacle I have ever seen. It was Don Karnage getting screwed so badly by his former would-be successor that Don Karnage wants to forget Kit forever. Cherie wrote an episode as a story line angle as to why in the television series: Don Karnage wants to forget the feud with Kit. GREAT! Kit was awesome here as he was just playing Don like a fiddle, Don made no bones about being played and I cackled and laughed as Don made himself look like a complete tool for my pleasure. And it's all Don's fault because he seriously believed that Kit would come back to him if he kidnapped him. Loved it! So; more to come. (The next rant to edit is Rebecca focused I should note. Including her being a kung-fu mistress that is so awesome, it even made Kit submit without her touching Kit!) This was a...

Thumbs in the middle for Knight Fright, thumbs up for Girl From Pango-Pango and Pirate For A Day, just for the great screw job alone. I'll see you all next time.

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