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TaleSpin Comics: Louie's Ristorante/Congratulations, You Have Just Won.../Kung Fu Mistress Rant

Reviewed: 09/24/2016
Additional Commentary: 12/29/2025

Welcome To The Wacky World Of TaleSpin Comics, Part 14!


Original Release: 11/12/1990 (Louie's Ristorante), 04/08/1991 (Congratulations, You Have Just Won...), 05/00/1991 (Kung Fu Mistress) .

So, after a full rant on Kit focused comic stories featuring dragons, sumo wrestling and screw jobs on terrorists in glorious fashion; this rant will now focus on Rebecca Cunningham, business major. Considering how they treated Rebecca in the comics so far; I have less confidence in them then I do with her in Rebecca in the television series. However, life goes on as Rebecca discovers Louie's for the first time in a continuation of the comics creating the continuity and explanations that the televised series didn't have. Then from there, we see Rebecca winning a vacation and her learning self-defense via kung-fu. "Louie's Ristorante" debuted in Disney Adventures Volume 1.01 in 1990; "Congratulations, You Have Just Won..." debuted in Disney Adventures Volume 1.06 in 1991 and "Kung Fu Mistress" debuted in Disney Adventures Volume 1.07 in 1991. (2025 Gregory Weagle Says: The Netherlands version was reprinted in Big Fun 14 in 2012 for some reason.) How does Rebecca fare in these stories?! Let's rant on shall we...?!

"Louie's Ristorante" is written by Bobbi JG Weiss with artwork done by Cosme Quartieri, Robert Bat and Ruben Torreiro. "Congratulations, You Have Just Won..." is written by Cherie Wilkerson with artwork done by Alberto Lavoadori. Alberto according to lambiek: Alberto Lavoradori began his career at the art studios of Paolo Ongaro in 1989. There, he illustrated Disney comics for Topolino. Lavoradori has also drawn for Nuova Frontiera, Comic Art, Tornado Press and Defalco Editore. He works as an advertising artist and in webdesign. He is the creator of the multimedia comics series 'Gommo'. "Kung Fu Mistress" is written by Cherie Wilkerson with artwork done by Cosme Quartieri and Carlos Valenti.


Louie's Ristorante: We head inside of Louie as the Banda-log is playing music in the background as we have a wicked full scale riot brawl in progress. Fred is here along with furries punching barrels, other patrons, and other assorted violence that would have been toned down on television. (A lot more of the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST OF DEATH being used, methinks. ) A brown warthog in safari gear is holding Louie by a pink shirt with white spots on it (?) as he wants a fat bear. Louie wants him to calm down; including giving him a free root beer on the house. The warthog demands the drink and the fat bear in the house because he's not going outside. (Even though there is no bear inside Louie's. What a coward?!) Louie hopes the fat bear went out the back door, which he didn't. Guess who the fat bear is?! Come on, take a guess! It's way too shocking... SURPRISE! IT'S ANTONIO INOKI~! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Okay; it's Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII running out of Louie's with Kit in tow. Kit is blowing off Baloo because Baloo mocked the brown warthog's table manners. Baloo claims that the warthog ate like a pig which Kit rightfully points out that he shouldn't have said it out loud. Yeah; because we don't want to hurt anyone's fee-fees when eating. Plus; what is Baloo's excuse for his eating habits?! Likewise; what's myself's excuse for that matter?! The artwork here is not good as the far shot are exceptionally blury and off-screen. We head to the docks of Higher...For...Hire as Baloo and Kit (in shadow) run from the SeaDuck into the office. Baloo tells Kit not to tell Rebecca about going to Louie's. That they really ran out of gas and sprung a fuel leak which Kit says that it's better than lying about Air Pirates. Never mind that Louie's also doubles as a gas station in "A Fuel Dollars More". This is not a better lie, Kit; you art dumb. (Yeah, that story is not going to fly, Kit.) They walk into the office and Rebecca is right there in her purple robe and white slippers as she is blowing Baloo off for being late in picking up the cargo after five o'clock. This happened after Baloo claimed that the Air Pirates thing is a white lie. Astro's white lie in 1980's Astro Boy was more believable than this. Rebecca is not fooled at all. This causes Kit to whistle when Baloo is trying the hard sell on the fuel leak. (Because he knows that this is bullshit, only a lot less subtle than the teeth smile in Peppa Pig.)

Baloo is claiming that it's a fuel leak. (Which gives away that he was at Louie's because Louie's has a gas station in reserve, just for emergencies like that! Baloo is finished.) However, Rebecca isn't buying it as she accuses Baloo of risking his job and her career for Louie's. Rebecca then asks what so great about Louie's. Yes; Molly has never told Rebecca about Louie's at all and this is being booked as Rebecca's first trek to Louie's. (Maybe Molly likes Baloo and thus keeps most of it a secret.) Baloo stammers like an idiot, states that he cannot explain it and she cannot understand. Rebecca then calls Baloo's bluff and tells Baloo to take her to Louie's for dinner as she goes upstairs. Rebecca proclaims that if she is going to lose her business over a restaurant, she wants to at least know what it looks like. Kit points out that she thinks Louie's is not a bar with fights and how is he going to explain that one away. We see Baloo and Kit run out of the shadows towards the SeaDuck as Baloo is going to tell Louie and find out if he has a tie. (Sounds reasonable to me since fair warning is required when Rebecca is coming.) We head to Louie's as there is a clear continuity error as it's called Louie's Place on the sign. Rebecca and Baloo are walking on the docks AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). Rebecca is wearing a purple dress with white trim, fur shoulders, pearl necklace and earrings. Baloo is wearing a green bomber jacket, white shirt, striped green/black tie and his pilot's hat. Rebecca is surprised that Baloo owns a tie and Baloo claims that he doesn't. Baloo asks Rebecca to tone it down along with the jewelry because Louie's is rough. Isn't this slut-shaming?! I realize that none of the patrons would actually harm her intentionally. (Because BS&P RULEZ, you see...) However, this just comes off as another example of blaming the victims for the denizens lack of restraint. (Word, former self.) Louie's place is completely well-behaved with everyone wearing formal gear as there is classical music being played on stage. Louie is wearing a blue coat, blue hat and a bowtie, which makes him look even sleazier than he was when he was wearing the Hawaiian shirt. Louie welcomes Rebecca to Louie's Ristorante of Italiano as he's the host; making Baloo look shocked.

Baloo and Rebecca sit down at a table with wine glasses, white cover and candlelight. Rebecca checks the menus and proclaims that apologies are in order. Baloo starts to apologize as Rebecca tells him that she's sorry for doubting Baloo because this place is awesome. As this is happening; a bear in a trench coat, blue tie and white shirt with hat, along with a ferret furry in a grey suit, pants and tie with brown hair walk in. The ferret looks like Mad Dog's long lost brother as they sit down at their tables and watch the babyfaces on. Baloo gets up and bails stage right to get a couple of pineapple juice fizzers; because alcohol is a no-no tonight. To be fair though; Baloo is piloting, so having a juice bar makes more sense than having an alcohol bar. This leads to the Mad Dog clone getting up and greeting Rebecca at the table. He basically makes passes at Rebecca and teases actually going with him. However, she remembers Baloo and decides to hold up. The Mad Dog clone states in total lust mode that she's beautiful and the fat bear isn't belonging to someone so adorable and so capivating. He also offers Rebecca a walk outside in the moonlight as Rebecca apparently accepts or something and walks out with him out of the bar. The bear in the trenchcoat gets up as Baloo returns with the drinks and is confused. An orange furry with blond hair, mustache wearing a blue suit, blue pants and tie gets on the trenchcoat bear's case on wooing Rebecca and orders them to leave her alone. Baloo goes over to Louie and Louie tells Baloo that Rebecca went outside with some Don Juan guy who swept her off her feet. (That should have been the furry's real name, I should note.) Louie wants Baloo to check on her to make sure no funny business goes on and he said this as he is pointing to the bear in the trenchcoat is looking to be about to fight the orange panther furry and a lion furry with honey hair and a black suit who has gotten up. Baloo thanks him and runs out as the orange panther with blond hair grabs the cyan blue trenchcoat wearing bear as Louie demands answers to this outrage. We head out to the docks as Rebecca is sitting on a wooden pier with the Mad Dog clone close behind her making more passes at her.

He calls Rebecca's hair a silverly dream of loveiness when it hits the moonlight as Rebecca is quite amused by this. This of course is the setup for the heel to yank Rebecca's necklace --pearls with a golden sun symbol on it -- as he proclaims that the necklace is lovelier than her. (Yup, the Mad Dog clone is probably a future or present air pirate.) Rebecca cowers in fear as the clone calls her a fool and she cannot defend herself because she's alone. Yes; Mad Dog clone is going to do awful things to her and Rebecca is pissed off and finds the conveniently placed water bucket that somehow emptied itself and bonks it off the man's head. Baloo runs in as the heel brings out a dagger to slit Rebecca's throat! However, the man is so dizzy that Baloo headbutts the heel in the chest and he falls into the water. (Being dizzy with a knife is more dangerous than one who is not dizzy.) Baloo yells at him to get the hell out of there and take his friend with him. Baloo and Rebecca embrace as Rebecca proclaims that she should never have come here and had no right to maneuver him into that position. Huh?! Considering that Rebecca was calling Baloo out for using Louie's as an excuse to get out of his job, I think she had justification to see what is so special for Louie's in order to justify her anger towards Baloo. We then discover that Rebecca was lonely and just wanted to get out for an evening to have some fun. However, she couldn't find a lot of people who would want to date her. Baloo realizes this and proclaims that they have not much in common; but fun is universal. That's true! It's what defines fun that is the complex issue. Baloo offers to try again and Rebecca agrees to without the jewelry. Baloo and Rebecca enter Louie's as we have another full scale riot brawl in progress as Rebecca has the Gruffi pose on and is amused by this while Baloo looks like he is scared to death and looks awkward at least. Welcome to Louie's indeed; even though Louie is not in the scene. That ends the story. This was a fun segment that would make a good 11 minute episode of TaleSpin had Jymn Magon not wanted to make mini-movies. The artwork is awful; but the story was to the point and it was good enough. *** 1/2 (70%).

Congratulations, You Have Just Won...: We head to the docks of Higher...For...Hire as Baloo and Kit are tying up the SeaDuck. Baloo has a lottery ticket in his hand and proclaims that he was only one number off and almost had it. He guesses that he was getting close to winning the big prize of doom. Kit proclaims that it's more like buying the big prize because you don't win on games like that. Kit's got a point there as demonstrated in the "Long Flight Home" comic. Baloo claims that someone does as Kit and Baloo go into the office. Kit and Baloo are shocked to see Rebecca wearing a spotted red/yellow shirt with matching shorts, a golden belt, blue flip flops and a blue hat with red flowers on it carrying an umbrella. She proclaims that she has won the big prize and is going to the Bearmuda Island with one thousand "Bearmuda Bucks" spending money. Why yes; even this world has a shipwreck area and an island, why do you ask?! (Hey, the logic checks out! Sadly, Bearly Alive was better than this comic book story.) Rebecca brings out a letter proclaiming that she has been selected to win a big prize. Baloo points out that nobody wins these big prizes and there has to be a catch. Kit asks how she knows she didn't just win luggage or a roll of black & white film. It's a 1930's thing. (Camera were the size of 1980's lunch boxes in the 1930's. Also, a lot heavier and more dangerous.) Rebecca and Baloo walk out in shadow towards the SeaDuck as Rebecca explains that she won the trip. However, the catch is that she has to listen to a little sales talk for some time-shared condos before she can take it. (Here's something out of place: Time-sharing itself started in the late 1950's.) Baloo thinks this is fine and he'll listen so good that they'll give him two trips. The SeaDuck flies to a bunch of time shared condos nearby as the artwork is terrible here and it confused me to no end later on actually. The condos look like some Mattel toy as Rebecca asks if they are beautiful and Baloo states that they are if you like living in a sardine can. We head inside one of the condos as a fox furry wearing a long black skirt, black dress, black gloves and a choker along with two other denizens show up and looks like Rebecca and Kit for no good reason. The character designs look awful here. (In other words, Peppa Pig palette swaps.) I'm not liking this story for some reason and it's not even the story itself.

The tour guide greets them as Baloo calls this cheesy and the flowers are not even real. Which that earns a blow off from Rebecca. Baloo attempts to sit in a wooden chair and it breaks instantly as the fox does her hard sell of a rinky-dink apartment sold for $20,000 for two years, which Baloo blows off. Somehow; this causes him to teleport onto the bed which has a patched up mattress. Rebecca tells him to literally shut up because she's embarrassed. Baloo then chickens out of listening and he's going to take a little snooze as the sales pitch is putting him into hibernation. Geez; what a shock that is?! (To be fair, this apartment sucks!) Baloo is snoozing as Rebecca is waking him up since the pitch from the fox finishes her hard sell and asks if they want to buy the apartment despite not winning a trip. I assume Rebecca won a trip because the next scene shows Baloo, Kit, Rebecca and Molly at the airport. Rebecca gives the number to the hotel and wants him to call everyday while she's gone. Baloo has the Gruffi pose on hating this because she won the trip and he didn't. Of course, Baloo claims that he listened to most of what he said, he thinks. Which means he hasn't. Okay; here's where the artwork confused me: At first I thought that everyone was on Bearmuda Island and Baloo was working in a run down shack. However; after carefully looking at the terrible artwork: I deduced that Baloo was working out of Higher For Hire at the office. So, the condos were in Cape Suzette after all and the plot is: Rebecca takes a vacation, Baloo runs the business. It's basically "Pizza Pie In The Sky" all over again; only Baloo is not taking a side job. (Only much worse than "Pizza Pie In The Sky".) We head back to the office as Kit asks Baloo where to put the phone number page and Baloo tells him to throw it in the trash because he is gravely offended. Baloo slaps away the stuff on the desk claiming that he has more business sense in his little finger than she has in her whole body. What a baby, indeed?! Baloo basically says that he can do this without Rebecca spitting in his ear as the phone rings. Baloo answers the phone and all he says that they'll be there tomorrow no problem as Kit points out that they have a full day lined up tomorrow. Baloo swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (heck) and wants him to worry about it when that day comes. Baloo sounds like your average teenager who cram studies in order to barely pass a quiz or test or exam; or all three at once!

Then the artwork confuses me once again as this Higher For Hire seems to be in the mountains and no where near the city judging by the amount of green nature around the area. It's like they are not in Cape Suzette. (You get the feeling the artists were protesting this show?! Watch what happens when WildCat Puma comes into the picture.) We head to the docks as Baloo is either loading up white chickens or unloading them. I cannot tell as Kit points out that they had to pick up some people three hours ago. Baloo tells him not to worry because he is unloading the chicken. The next panel shows the SeaDuck is in the air and chickens are falling out of the plane. Yes; chickens cannot fly and they make jokes about chickens being bowling balls and splatting like pancakes. (This is a total trainwreck of a story, and not in a good way.) Well; that was absurd as we head outside the Bearmuda Hotel with Rebecca and Molly holding hands. Molly is wearing a purple spotted purple swimsuit as there is some cacti and badly designed railing. Molly asks if this is the same hotel in the pictures. Rebecca is not happy to see this as this place is dirtier, older, smaller and tackier. She then asks a dog furry wearing a blue suit, purple hat and tie for directions to the beach and the dog points to the west and it's ten miles that way. Rebecca and Molly run into the lobby and there are at least five denizens crawling on each other to try to get answers to this outrage from a pig lobby furry wearing a black shirt and red tie. They all want refunds right now and demand to know where the tennis courts and beach are. One of them lost his luggage too as the pig furry cannot handle this under pressure. The pig furry points out that refunds are not possible because it's a free trip. Of course! (What a fool everyone is?!) The bus to the beach is in the shop for repairs and the tennis court is in the alley. The pig furry slumps in his chair and offers yellow paper calling it "Bearmuda Bucks" as he offers five hundred more for everyone. Molly's response: "I wanna go to the beach!" HAHA! Even funnier is the adult looking Kit wearing a straw hat and green shirt with yellow flowers on it. We see Rebecca and Molly walking over to the "Blue Sea Restaurant" as Rebecca wants to eat a big lunch and then get a taxi. Molly is giddy as they go inside as she wants sundae, ice cream soda and some cake. I see the artichoke lessons in "Your Baloo's In The Mail" didn't take and I'm not surprised one bit.

We head to the table in the restaurant as Molly is sick and couldn't even start on the cake. (She got food poisonning I see. What a shocker?!) A waiter dog with black hair and a black suit comes in with the bill as the food costs eighty dollars between the two. Geez, that's bullshit; even in 2016 for two people! This place is such a rip-off. Rebecca shows off a white Bearmuda Buck -- which was yellow earlier -- as it's a hundred Bearmuda Bucks and he can keep the change. The waiter tells Rebecca that the Bearmuda Bucks are only useful for the gift shop and it has been closed forever. Rebecca is shocked and horrified as she feels sick now. Then we get the whole punchline to the joke as Rebecca and Molly return to the hotel because the whole hotel is on fire...literally! Molly even thinks arson was involved in this as Rebecca whines about her vacations going up in flames while Baloo is having a great time back at the office. (If only Rebecca, if only.) We head to the office as Baloo and Kit enter the kitchen as Kit is blowing off Baloo for screwing up Rebecca's work. Baloo tells "the Kitster" to forget work and get down to serious business. (Yes; Baloo actually said that and that's nothing compared to WildCat later on.) What is this serious business, you ask?! Answer: Frying baloney on a shallow fat frier on the desk into the office and letting the oil splatter all over the place. Oh for damnation's sake Cherie; that was horrible! Kit passes on this because he's still digesting a peanut butter and popcorn sandwich. The oil and heat somehow manages to light the phone number paper on fire as Baloo whines about Rebecca and missing her. Kit notices the paper, causing Baloo to stamp it out and blow his hand. Baloo claims that Rebecca is going to kill her as the phone rings and Kit answers it as he calls the place "an aviation company and firefighters." That made me laugh as the guy on the phone is screaming about flatten chickens and feathers everywhere. (Kit and Molly are trying to save this story and it's not working.) At least there is a consequence to this animal cruelty as Kit hands Baloo the phone and Baloo hangs up yelling that he's not home.

Then a number of denizens barge in with chickens. One of them looks like a Spanish cowboy. That furry is claiming that four of them went right through and Kit proclaims that this is a new record. I don't care what the record was, but that was funny! (Through what?! Inquiring minds would like to know.) Then a gorilla furry and a monkey furry, both wearing press gear come in and they act like the "World Net Daily" as the big monkey is asking if peppering the city with chicken is a job or a hobby. (You mean "World Nut Daily", former self. It would work better in TaleSpin, too.) The smaller monkey is flashing photos as he is literally asking for a chicken for Baloo to hold. Geez, even gaming journalism has more ethics than these losers! Baloo pushes everyone out of the office and blows them off. He yells at Kit to take the phone off the hook because the phone is currently ringing and it's driving him crazy. Baloo is sleeping on the desk proclaiming that it's going to be a long night. Kit goes to the window and notices WildCat is waving at him, telling him not to be paranoid. Is it just me; or did Cherie blandified WildCat here?! He sounds...neurotypical here. (That's nothing compared to what WildCat says later on.) Kit opens the window, WildCat jumps in talking about the crowd around the office and thinks there is a BBQ. Well; he is almost right here. However, who is being BBQ'ed?! That I still don't know, yet. (Answer: Everyone making and reading this story.) WildCat takes a fork and eats some of the fried baloney as Baloo asks if he was here to tell Baloo that and WildCat says "No, I'm here to inform you that Rebecca just called". WildCat thinks she said that the airlines in Bearmuda are bankrupt and she's stranded. This is the worst country ever! (Wow, this sounds like a late capitalism nightmare come true!) She also said that Baloo must take the SeaDuck because it's an island, of course. Ah; that's more like it! Baloo jumps out of the window telling Kit to stay at the office as he throws chickens out of the SeaDuck and gets in. Kit watches from the window doing commentary and then gulps.

A grey wolf woman furry skips in wearing a yellow spotted purple shirt, a black skirt, blue pants and black heeled boots with a cheese colored apron that reads "I Heart Chicken" comes in. (Wonder if she likes seeing chickens get beat up like Angela liking to see the nerd getting beat up while wearing a shirt that reads "I Heart Nerds"?!) She demands that they open up because she owns the chickens. Kit opens the doors -- which in another continuity error are double doors -- as the woman comes in. The reporters try to interview her; but she blows them off because she wants to know who delivered her chickens from a mile up. The big monkey reporter points out that her chickens are more than news; they are famous. Kit points out that they could have charged for the advertising. However, WildCat in probably the worst line he has ever delivered said and this is a direct quote: "But the capitalist business pig is on vacation at the moment, so it's free." That is totally out of character for WildCat! He would never call Rebecca a capitalist business pig! He would call her their boss; but not that. Horrible! (I can see Baloo or Louie saying this line no matter how horrible it is. However, WildCat Puma?! Why did I give this episode ** 1/4, again?!) The wolf calls this clever as she leaves with the reporter saying it was her idea and wants her name spelt right. Which we never hear in any form, I should note. Kit breathes a sigh of relief as we head to an island as a number of denizens get out of the SeaDuck. Baloo proclaims that this is the last of the stranded tourists. Rebecca thanks Baloo as a dog furry couple in vacation gears gives them money as payment for their troubles. Rebecca is happy because it's real money and enough for a vacation as we see the SeaDuck in the air. Baloo wants to go to a resort island alone without Rebecca. Rebecca whines about not being invited to this. Baloo states that she doesn't know how to thank him just to rib on her for saying the exact same thing in the previous scene and that ends the story. The story was perfectly acceptable. However, the artwork, logic and some of WildCat's dialogue was horrible. We have our third thumbs down story of this series at ** (40%). (Worst story until Baloo & The Flying Carpet so far, actually.)

Kung Fu Mistress: We begin this one on the docks of Higher...For...Hire as Baloo is sleeping on the docks with an alarm clock in his hammock near the SeaDuck. So; every episode, then. Rebecca is running towards Baloo screaming for help as a brown warthog looking like a clone of Fry grabs onto Rebecca's purse. (Of all the things the comics have done to us, they had to revive the Rescue Ranger henchmen?!) They have a tug of war for a while as Baloo slowly wakes up due to the screaming causing the warthog to bail stage left without grabbing the purse. Rebecca puts all her stuff into the purse and blows off Baloo wanting him to get up twenty minutes ago. Baloo assures her that he set the alarm clock right. leading to her invoking the WRAITH OF BECKEY on Baloo as Baloo tumbles into the harbor. Now; this would have been justified if the thief stole her purse outright. He didn't, so Rebecca looks like a jerkass yet again. I swear; that all of these "Rebecca is a jerk" memes are coming from these comic books because even the television series gave her some sense of self-control. In comes a brown bear furry -- who mght as well be Kit's older brother -- wearing a blue suit and pants claiming to be someone who is hired to take him to a karate exhibition. He asks if there are any problems. I can name one: Baloo's extremely water logged. Rebecca proclaims that someone tried to rob her and she's a little upset. Oooookkkkaaaayyyy. So, the Karate Bear of Doom reveals that people who master karate can defend themselves against anyone regardless of size. Baloo mocks this and bets he cannot stand against Pop-A-Bear. Karate Bear is honored to try as Baloo grabs him telling him it's nothing personal. Which leads to Karate Bear judo throwing Baloo into the harbor yet again. HAHA! Why does Baloo has Kit's stubby tail from the puzzles?! Rebecca is so happy about this that she wants to learn karate. We head into the office as Rebecca is wearing beige karate gear and I agree with Kit; she does look awesome in that outfit. Baloo's hat is on the desk as Baloo blows off Kit for thinking that someone in pj's is awesome. Rebecca shows off some kicks and it misses Baloo by three feet as Baloo mocks her for it; but it's clear Rebecca is not trying to hurt him because she chops Baloo's pilot's hat as Rebecca proclaims that this is just the beginning. Kit is amused by this as the narrator tells us that this was after the first lesson. (Oh, Kit is going to get wrecked and he will regret it when this is all over.) Once again; space constraints prevented as from seeing Rebecca's lessons so we never find out how she progressed which would have been a sight to see.

So -- after two or three more lessons --, we see Rebecca in front of her desk reading a piece of paper as WildCat comes in with the mail and gives it to Rebecca. Which is odd since Kit usually does this job. Then I realize that BS&P is not going to allow Rebecca to invoke the JUDO ARM DRAG OF DEATH on Kit, so WildCat takes the bump. (That's kind of sad, actually since Kit Cloudkicker can fight.) That knocks WildCat even sillier than he usually is. Baloo walks in with a green box, Rebecca knocks it out of Baloo's hands with the JUDO KICK OF FEAR and that knocks Baloo down. The artwork is fine. However, the feet are colored badly and what is up with the tail?! Then we get an awesome moment: Kit comes in noticing Baloo and WildCat on the floor asking Rebecca where they are. Rebecca proclaims that they are at her feet in awe over her awesome skills as Baloo blows it off. Kit then asks why they are on the floor as he tries to sit down in the conveniently place wooden chair. Rebecca goes over and punches the chair so hard that it breaks. This causes Kit to literally fall on his ass on the way down. HAHA! (Hey, they found a way to humble Kit without hitting him and stay within BS&P. This does lead to something amazing...) Baloo tells Kit off on that as Rebecca proclaims that this is great and wonderful; and she doesn't have to fear anyone again. Baloo isn't exactly thrilled about this. We head inside the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Kit is hiding underneath the console. Baloo opens the door and asks why Kit is hiding. Then we get the money line of the story: Kit is hiding from Rebecca Cunningham, because she scares him now! Yes; he is scared of Rebecca despite the fact that he never got touched. I betcha Baloo was amused to see that after Kit called him a baby for being scared of a Z-Grade movie. (The Incredible Shrinking Molly, everyone.) Baloo assures Kit that Rebecca is off "Kung Fuing and Hi Karate-ing something or another". Apparently, WildCat was also hiding in the SeaDuck as he comes out because he asks if it's safe. Baloo proclaims that there is work to do. Yes, Rebecca has improved Baloo's workrate. GREAT! An armored truck arrives at the docks as the cargo is gold bullion which Kit proclaims that they are going to need an army to protect this. A purple bear in a blue uniform, hat and glasses arrives saying that he's the security which doesn't amuse anyone. Then three thugs run in with the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE, a club and a gun that is spray painted to look like a horn; but no one is fooled. Those looks on the heels, they look like recolored versions of the Air Pirates and they certainly dress like them.

This all happens as the babyfaces are carrying the gold bars into the SeaDuck. The purple bear guard raises his arms and we never see him again since he quits. He is never seen run off so he was written out by teleport basically. Sigh. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Kit calls him a baby and runs in as it's 3-on-3 as WildCat brings out the crowbar as a sword while cutting French promos. The green pants pirate with the rope calls him a nut and off-screen; WildCat is subdued and tied up against the pier. Baloo grabs the horn gun air pirate as Kit goes all Mike Tyson on us; years before Mike Tyson bit Holyfield's ear. Which means Kit has bit someone thrice in the entire series. (And it sure wasn't nice!) The green pants pirate grabs Kit from behind and ties Kit up to the pier. The other two heels grab Baloo and the purple vest pirate whacks Baloo in the back of the head with a wooden club over and over again. Either that, or Baloo ducks the shots. Baloo protests this outrage and the white bearded pirate blows him off. Out comes Rebecca with the order sheets because Baloo screws this up. Rebecca gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and kicks the bearded pirate on the run-in as the pirate sidesteps, sort of. Rebecca stands her ground proclaiming that she knows karate. However, it's 2-on-1 advantage heels as she gets grabbed from behind in a bear hug and calls Rebecca a fluffhead. This incites Baloo as he calls the pirate "Dogbreath"! Chargeman Ken parody sub reference for the win! Or not. (It was Dogball, former self.) Baloo makes the comeback by doing the DOUBLE COCONUTS OF DOOM and then literally kicks Dogbreath in the ass so hard that Rebecca flies into Baloo's hands. Dogbreath lands in the harbor as Rebecca lands on Baloo. The two pirates on the pier near the gold are knocked silly as Baloo threatens violence and the pirates give up. Rebecca unties Kit and WildCat as Rebecca proclaims that the thief was right in calling her a fluffhead and Kit tells her not to take this hard because she tried. Even Baloo is backing up Kit as Rebecca is tying up the heels. (Pointing out that she was a beginner and you'll have days like this.) Dogbreath somehow gets up and brings out WildCat's crowbar from behind Baloo. Rebecca notices this after she proclaims that she was fooling herself and delivers a karate chop to the neck and knocks Dogbreath out. Rebecca and Kit cheer each other as Baloo praises Rebecca's skills and asks her to stop practicing on them again. That ends the story. This was a really fun story marred with artwork problems and space constraints. I could see this make television easily even in 1991 and it would have been glorious. *** 3/4 (75%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we had a mixed bag of stories this time around. I wanted to like "Congraulations; You Have Just Won..." because it was a fine story. However, Cherie's dialogue writing coupled with horrible artwork and bad logic confused me throughout. Bad artwork can be amusing at time. However, when it's interfering with the story and I cannot tell what is going on, then it's pretty horrible. WildCat when he speaks was terrible as well. WildCat would never call Rebecca a "capitalist pig" Never! Baloo might; but not WildCat. "Louie's Ristorante" was a good story marred by wonky artwork. However, I liked Rebecca first trek to Louie's and it did reveal some of Rebecca's traits of being a hard working, smart cookie who can be miserable due to her sandpaper-ish antics. "Kung Fu Mistress" was the best of the lot and if it got double the space required, it would be one of the best Rebecca episodes ever. This on it's own is great as she came off as a decent self-defender, while not being stone cold invincible at the same time. I also love how Kit was scared of her afterwards and he also got to play Mike Tyson during the climax fight with the Air Pirates. The artwork wasn't great. However, it was good enough and the story would have been glorious on television even in 1991. So, onto the next one featuring Baloo's first plane, Kit's first full flight piloting the SeaDuck and we play gangsters again, only Louie is involved now. So...

Thumbs in the middle for "Kung Fu Mistress" and "Louie's Ristorante", a thumbs down for "Congraulations; You Have Just Won..." and I'll see you all next time.

 

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