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TaleSpin Comics: The Ruby Monkey Head/Shine A Little Light/The Dogs Of War Rant

Reviewed: 09/30/2016
Additional Commentary: 12/31/2025

Welcome To The Wacky World Of TaleSpin Comics, Part 16!

Original Release: 07/00/1991 (The Ruby Monkey Head), 12/00/1990 (Shine A Little Light), 11/00/1991 (The Dogs Of War) .

Well; we wind down towards the end of these comics with more random comic stories as we giggle at the writers trying to pull off the magic of the series while fleshing them out. Sadly; most of the really awesome comics are pretty much done and what's left are these three absurd stories. (2025 Gregory Weagle Says: Call these the most problematic stories of the entire comic book run.) Our first story is basically TaleSpin's answer to The Land Of Trala-la from Ducktales as Baloo and Kit are framed for stealing treasure from natives. That story is nothing compared to the next two though as we get our second holiday story with Colonel Spigot banning Christmas in Thembria for even less justification then the Burgermeister ever had in banning Christmas in "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" from Rankin-Bass! (Only the Thembrians could make this story possible.) Then our final story...Oh lord; that story. That one features Kit and Baloo captured by an air force for being spies of Freedonia. That in itself doesn't sound so bad, until you see the comic itself. I won't spoil it right now. However, this might be the most uncomfortable comic story in the entire run. (Don't expect Disney to re-release this story on the Disney Afternoon Adventures onmibus in any fashion. It's a real howler of a story and I mean that in the nicest way possible.) "Shine A Little Light" debuted in the very first "Holiday Parade Comic" by Disney, which is a unique comic book for the Christmas season. Yes; the nephews, Scrooge, Chip and Dale are in the comic books. However, they are all based on their Donald Duck/Uncle Scrooge/Chip & Dale incarnations, not their Ducktales/Rescue Rangers incarnations. Thus making TaleSpin the only DTVA show in that comic book! "The Dogs Of War" debuted on Disney Adventures Volume 2.01 in 1991, while "The Ruby Monkey Head" debuted in Disney Adventures Volume 1.09 in 1991 as well. How do these stories fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!

"The Ruby Monkey Head" is written by Bob Langhans and artwork is done by Horacio Saavedra, Oscar F. Saavedra, Raul Barbero and Ruben Torreiro . "Shine A Little Light" is written by Cherie Wilkerson and the artwork is done by Cosme Quartieri and Ruben Torreiro. "The Dogs Of War!" is written by Doug Gray and artwork is done by Alberto Lavoradori.

The Ruby Monkey Head: We begin this one with the SeaDuck flying over a coast line being chased by an airship blimp piloted by Don Karnage. Geez; I didn't know Don Karnage keep a blimp on retainer! Don Karnage is ordering for the second to last time for Baloo to land and let them be pillaged. (So, they have one warning left after this. Don Karnage is such a tool!) Baloo no sells this deal, of course; since they don't fill orders from them. Baloo tells them to eat his prop wash while Don is in the cockpit as he is about to bring out the dreaded TAR BOMB OF STICKY DOOM! He fires the missile above the SeaDuck as Baloo scoffs at it calling it DUDsville. (Baloo is dumb as you'll see in a moment.) It explodes and the tar splatters all over the SeaDuck and some of it splatters on the windshield of the Iron Blimp~! (Don Karnage is a stupid idiot, methinks! Didn't take the risk of backfire into consideration.) The SeaDuck nose dives after Kit and Baloo cut promos about trouble, tar and tarnation. The SeaDuck crashes into the ground of the dreaded mysterious jungle called Sabbookie Jungle. Cut to inside the cockpit of the Iron Blimp as Dumptruck's Swedish accent is in evidence here. (Sadly, Bob cannot get Don Karnage's accent right to save his life.) Mad Dog and Don Karnage are controlling the blimp. Mad Dog cannot see as Don blows him off as they can fly on instinct. (You don't have a sixth sense, Karnage. Deal with it and crash.) Sadly, Langhans has no idea how to torture the English language properly for him as the Iron Blimp crashed just outside a village. Dumptruck cares about fudge more than his safety it seems. (Dumptruck apparently loves to eat shit then. I'm not surprised since his brain is made of solid bone. The worst part is that he's still smarter than a MAGAT!) Don gets inspired by this fact that they have landed near a village of grass huts and tiki masks. Very bland and generic as the natives are even more so with their grass skirts, spears and axes looking like dog noses. Sigh. (Nothing changes, nothing changes. To think, this is the least problematic story of this rant.) Don wants to plunder this village as Mad Dog and Dumptruck are waxing for coconuts, bananas and gauvas.

Don blows them off as lintheads because he wants the rich treasure they have at a stand featuring vases, jewels and a monkey head with ruby eyes. Mad Dog wants some cufflinks as the heels run in and Don grabs the ruby monkey head, of course. (Well, you got to make sure the McGruffin becomes the focal point of the story since you promised it in the title!) Don Karnage proclaims that it's too good to be true since there are no savages on guard. (Don Karnage's words, not mine.) At least the heels are saying that instead of the babyfaces, so I'm fine with this. Then the natives run in yelling gibberish and throwing spears. (Why bother with the gibberish?! Either have them say nothing, or speak English, or any other language for that matter. Even pro wrestling stopped with the carny talk years ago!) Logic break: Dumptruck claims that there are FIVE natives and that they are married, despite the comic only showing THREE of them. You couldn't just say three here Bob? The heels duck as Don proclaims that this is too good to be true and must think about an evil plane. We cut to the SeaDuck as Baloo and Kit are washing off the tar with a bucket of water and towels. (I don't think water works to remove tar, comic. Try cooking oil or even peanut butter since it was invented in 1926!) Baloo wants to give Karnage a cleaning bill as Kit is cleaning the props proclaiming that he can save the postage. That's because he can give it to Don Karnage right now since the heels are running in and Don throws the "Ruby Monkey Head" into Baloo's hands and bail stage right. (Gotcha, Pop-A-Bear! I can just see former self saying that right now.) Don also apologizes for doing terrible things to his plane. Well; I don't believe this apology, but at least this apology is more believable than most not-pologies I have seen. The snicker kills the apology though. Don hides behind the bushes and taunts the natives to come over claiming that they are stealing their icon. If this was on television, Don would mimic Baloo's voice as a sort of "Take that!" to Kit in The Idol Rich. (Considering Jim Cummings vocal range, the chances of him screwing this up would be absolute zero!) Baloo has been framed, AGAIN! Only this time; he doesn't deserve it. (Bob deserves to be framed for his bigotry during this comic strip though.)

The native run in and after speaking gibberish in their first appearance, they are speaking perfect English now! (Speaking of bigotry...) They want it returned now as Baloo stops a spear as he tells Kit to calm down because they will be winging out of this in no time. Riiigggghhhhtttt! So, here's what happens next: We cut to a river leading to a waterfall as Baloo and Kit are on a raft tied up together. (Including their ankles; which is missing on Kit in the far shot; then shown on the closeup shot.) Oh, and the raft is on fire! You got all that?! Kit asks why he's not surprised that this happened?! If this was today, he would have said "Never saw that coming!" (If no one saw this coming, even the audience; saying it is funny. But everyone saw this coming, so it makes the babyfaces look dumber than they should be.) Baloo wants to brush up on his conversational Sabbookinese. Which is stupid because the natives are speaking perfect English! I don't think different languages is the problem here, Pop-A-Bear. Then we get the most impossible moment I have ever seen: Kit cutting the ropes. Why you may ask?! Well; Kit uses his airfoil in between his feet to cut his ankle ropes. There's one major problem though: Kit's hands are clearly tied behind his back! So, how did Kit manage to get the airfoil from underneath his sweater in between his feet?! That has to be the most absurd thing I have seen Kit do! Maybe Kit is a god after all. If Kit's arms were to his side, this would make more sense even though that would be difficult to pull off. This kid is amazing! (Okay, this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. However, I howled with laughter so much that it was worth it.) Probably as amazing as Molly Cunningham being able to use a radio in Vertigo Baloo. (Vertiges in the Super Baloo comics. Even more amazing is how the writers of that comic wanted to bury Kit deep within the earth.) Kit cuts the ankle ropes and then somehow cuts the remaining ropes off of him as Baloo is tearing through ropes. Kit grabs his airfoil back as the natives are catapulting rocks at them, just because a flaming raft was not enough and got pissed because they got backfire. Kit proclaims that they'll mail in an apology. (I'm certain they will understand it and not accept the apology.)

They approach a waterfall as Kit sees a tree branch with a snake around it. WATCH OUT FOR SNAKES, POP-A-BEAR~! Baloo grabs the snake anyway thinking it's a tree branch like a complete moron. Baloo sees the snake and panics, thus going over the waterfall leading to impossible moment number two: Kit is flying on his airfoil with a legit vine and Baloo manages to grab it as he proclaims it's time to get back to the SeaDuck. Baloo swings on vines with Kit floating on the airfoil somehow as they find Don Karnage's blimp. Don notices him, calling Baloo a fat bear with a pathetic entrance as Kit wonders if wonders never cease. Considering how impossible Kit is in this story; wonders will never cease. (How he turned dumb in the Super Baloo comics amazes me. At least "The Lost Cargo Of Kit Cloudkicker!" in Ducktales 2017 was due to age and wear down.) Baloo breaks through the glass feet first as Baloo and Kit enter the blimp. Apparently; the heels returned to the village and stolen all the treasure while the natives tied up Kit and Baloo at the river. Don proclaims that they will cease breathing now and orders the pirates to sieze them. (What a joke way to die?!) Kit has not left the ground since getting off the raft, I should note. (Why are people suddenly surprised when former self called Kit a "wind god" on this show?!) Dumptruck and Mad Dog run in as Baloo is cease-sick and uses the vine to trip Mad Dog and Dumptruck. Now; here's a logic break: Mad Dog and Dumptruck trip over the vine and are seen going over the window. Next panel, we see Kit flying around Don Karnage annoying him and Dumptruck is with him. WHAT?! (The artists cannot make their minds here.) Kit calls this too easy and Don agrees with him and calls him a little sweat of annoyance. Don Karnage brings out an out of nowhere net and Kit gets netted and his airfoil disappears on cue. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Somehow; Mad Dog and Dumptruck are still in the blimp for no reason lying on the treasure. Don talks about fishes and Baloo surrenders on cue, pleading for him to drop Kit. Don sells it by throwing Kit out of the blimp outright. Don laughs at Kit and Kit hates that. Kit manages to get his airfoil back somehow and it somehow gets back underneath Kit's feet just in time for him to surf above the water and block the man-eating fish. (SUZY SHEEP~?!)

Kit hates being nibbled to death as this is one of the few comic adventures where Kit's feet are colored like in the televised series. Not consistently; but better than most comics at least. Kit calls this love. No, I call this defying the laws of gravity and physics like nothing before. (I also call it lust since unconditional love is basically what lust is.) Kit manages to glide upwards into the blimp and annoys Don Karnage once again. Don calls this unfair. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (However, Kit rules more than Don Karnage, so fuck the carnage!) I love this story; but damn, the logic makes no sense here. Don likes to impale Baloo. However, Don trips and falls onto the treasure. I don't know how. (And at this point, I have stopped caring.) Baloo shoves Dumptruck in the face and is about to take over the controls. Baloo proclaims that he's returning the stuff to the Sabbookies. Mad Dog finds a palm tree with coconuts and grabs one. Mad Dog then throws it off Baloo's head -- which Baloo sells -- and then Don proceeds to push Baloo and Kit out of the window of the blimp. Somehow; Kit has lost his airfoil and finally touches solid ground in this sequence. (That would be roughly five to seven minutes if this was on television. Holy crap!) Kit and Baloo free fall and land right in front of the native treasure hoard despite the landing showing no such thing. In run the natives as they grab Baloo and Kit and drag them out of the village. One of the natives order Baloo and Kit tied up to the ant hill and pour nectar syrup on them basically. We then get an assuming sequence where Baloo is pleading with the natives that they offer to get the stuff back while one of the natives is painting Baloo's ass with syrup and the natives no sell. Baloo and Kit are tied up together on the ground as Baloo sees the ants and they don't look like picnic ants. Kit yells at them to back them up because they are the only chance of getting their stuff back. The natives decide to sell, they untie Baloo and then tie Kit to a tree. Yes; we are replaying the Land Of Tra-lala climax and finish from Ducktales. Only this story is great outside of the wonky logic breaks. Plus; ants can kill you actually and I can believe these ants over what the nephews suffered when they were merely put over a pool of water over a wooden cage. I'm guessing being ten years old mean more protection from certain death spots, I guess. (Or the Tra-lala natives love their waterboarding.)

The natives now are speaking broken English now as they tell Baloo to find their stuff and bring it back before the ants find Kit. The syrup is on Kit and there is maple syrup on the ground from the tree to the rock. Man; these natives are such pricks! We cut to Baloo rowing a canoe pleading for the canoe to hurry up because Kit is counting on this. If you didn't know how deadly some ants can be in that part of the world -- in the real world, actually -- you wouldn't take this seriously. We head back to the blimp with Don Karnage cheering and checking out his spoils as Dumptruck has his hand stuck in a vase like an idiot. Dumptruck shatters the vase and Don Karnage blows him off because it's not a cookie jar, it's an object d'art. Ah; that's more like it, Bob! (It's not torturing the English language former self. However, it was funny all the same.) Mad Dog runs in with a diamond encrusted blue jar of glue, Mad Dog slips and the glue lands on Don's nose as Don is picking up pieces of the vase. Geez; I didn't know Don Karnage was so attached to it. (Snicker! Snicker!) Mad Dog runs in with a hanky and wipes Don's face as Don blows him off proclaiming that no one touches the dread pirate, not even his mother. Dumptruck looks out and notices the SeaDuck is coming towards them. Baloo is in the cockpit flying as he proclaims that the fun's over and Don has some appointment with deadly ants and he's late. Don finds a machine gun and points it at the SeaDuck and calls him deluded as he will personally blast the pudgy pest out of the sky. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there, Don?! A lot of shooting occurs as some of them shatter windows, much to Baloo's disdain as two of them nails the left engine. Mad Dog has taken over as Baloo flies away from the blimp and down. Don Karnage is about to aim a portable machine gun at the right engine of the SeaDuck, proclaiming that this is his finest hour because one shot is putting the bulging bruin to his deserved doom. I guess he is not patient enough to wait for the overdue heart attack coming to Baloo. Typical murderous heels! Mad Dog panics in between this and wants to batten down the hatches. Baloo's down to one engine as his skills and Kit's life are on the line. While this is happening, we return to the ant hill as Kit sees the black ants slowly coming to him. Back in the air, the SeaDuck is smoking and this manages to obscure the target for Don to fire on.

Don fires anyway thinking: "Who cares? I'll hit him anyway!" (Wow, this brand is a poster boy for gun control in children's cartoons.) The shot deflects off a rock and hits the right engine of the SeaDuck. Wow; Don Karnage is having a great day at the plate as Baloo panics because he cannot fly with both engines gone. (This is the strongest booking of Don Karnage since Plunder and Lightning!) Don takes this as his biggest victory of his career as Mad Dog proclaims that Baloo is history and dead basically. (If only Mad Dog, if only.) However; the shot actually missed the engine and hit the wing as Baloo then brings out the FLARE GUN OF THE NRA from A Touch of Glass. (See folks; Baloo does have one weapon on board; and it's not really a weapon.) Baloo shoots the flare gun at the balloon of the blimp, causing a hole in the balloon. Just remember that a flare gun is a gun under the "guns are pulled out" rule. However, it isn't designed to be a weapon, so the "no weapons on board" rule is still intact. (Not that it matters since Don Karnage has a machine gun earlier on anyway.) Don Karnage and the heels bail out of the blimp as it crashes into the natives village. Kit still thinks he's a goner as his feet are touching the tree and the syrup covering him almost makes it like he pissed himself. (Hell of a visual there, artists and former self!) The ants are literally near his feet when Baloo runs in and unties him from the tree. Baloo declares the picnic death null and void as Baloo and Kit embrace themselves and thank each other. I should note that Kit was trying to negotiate with the ants in this sequence and that failed hilariously of course. Cut to Don and the heels rowing on a wooden log (HA!) as Don tells the heels to take him home so he can come up with another dirty deed. Don is sounding like a generic Saturday morning villain. The natives go into their canoes and go after them throwing spears. The other natives are getting the stuff out of the blimp while Baloo and Kit are helping them fix up the place. Kit asks what they are going to tell Rebecca and Baloo proclaims that it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Sorta. Like sorta Don Karnage being done for and Kit sorta being saved. That ends the story. This was a really fun story marred by Bob's inability to write the characters as TaleSpin characters and a mess of logic breaks. *** 1/2 (70%). Would have been closer to **** 1/4 had Bobbi been writing this as she clearly knows the characters better than Bob does here. Don shouldn't be talking like a normal villain at all.

Shine A Little Light: Now this comic is actually the second time they did a Christmas story. I assume this story took place in 1938; a year after Jolly Molly Christmas. (It's also possible that this happened in the days leading up to A Jolly Molly Christmas as well.) We head to a room as the Thembrian Air Corps are putting up Christmas decorations. The fact that a dictatorship like Thembria would even allow an Uslandian holiday is hilarious in itself. (Well, Christmas is a pagan holiday, which is hilarious as well since Thembria would probably think that it interfere with the High Marshall. Or the High Marshall don't care because it's a day off for him.) However; the fact that Colonel Spigot's accent is gone is even more so. On the other hand; at least I understand what he is saying now; so I won't complain about it, much. Sergeant Dunder and an aide are setting up the decorated Christmas tree into position. Ummm; shouldn't you set up the tree first, then decorate it?! (It's Thembria, why are you asking this stupid question, former self?!) Spigot is asking if it's the biggest tree in all of Thembria. Well; that shouldn't be hard since it's probably the only tree in all of Thembria. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I guess they get their trees from Bedeviled Island as seen in Gruel & Unusual Punishment! Makes more sense than you think actually!) Spigot brings out the riding crop and orders Dunder bring it more towards him and Dunder points out that the tree is swaying towards him. (Colonel Spigot being a self-absorb little prick that fights against his own best interests?! Heaven forfend there, former self.) Spigot orders him to do it. Dunder does, the tree lands on Spigot and buries him in the tree tomb. Spigot pops from the carnage and orders that Christmas is canceled forever. Now; that's more like it, Spiggy! (Be the Nazi Disney doesn't want you to be.) Spigot has spoken, although he better not tell the High Marshall; because if you cancel his Christmas presents: YOU CAN BE SHOT~! (Yeah, I would run that decision with the High Marshall before you go full-on Burgermeister there.) We head to Higher...For...Hire as Rebecca goes to her desk to answer the phone.

Kit makes me laugh by literally putting decorations on Pop-A-Bear while he's asleep on the chair. (Baloo is our GEEK OF THE WEEK~! This proves that Baloo is game for the kids antics like Daddy Pig. That is worth reading this story alone.) The story is that Baloo has no love for the holidays anymore, which means he probably had his fill of the season after it snowed in Cape Suzette in "A Jolly Molly Christmas". (Assuming that this was 1938 when it could easily have happened before "A Jolly Molly Christmas".) Rebecca talks to a certain Mr. Fox as she informs him on the phone that Baloo can fly a shipment to Thembria no problem. Baloo wakes up and protests this outrage as we head to Baloo loading up cargo for Mr. Fox, who is a red fox wearing a grey cap and grey shirt with glasses and a white beard. Baloo is also covered in decorations from the previous scene. HAHA! Mr. Fox tells him to be careful since they are for his family. (Wearing those decorations will not help my composure, nor anyone else's confidence.) Then we see the SeaDuck literally landing on a clear pavement landing strip as Baloo thinks this is a piece of cake now that he has the runaway to himself. Then comes three jeeps of Thembrians with badly drawn rifles as Baloo blows them off, calling them deaf bellboys. They are not deaf Baloo, they are vile. (If Baloo called them "tone deaf bellboys", I would have forgiven it. He didn't, so that was a wee bit ableist there Pop-A-Bear!) The Thembrians shoot their rifles at the underbelly of the SeaDuck. That causes the SeaDuck to bounce off a jeep whichs crushes it in the process. Baloo then channels DARKWING...DUCK and cuts a full of himself promo and then get caught in the TENNIS NET OF DEATH. HAHA! Baloo and Mr. Fox jump out as the Thembrian wolves take the products out, break them open and let the contents spill out. (Diversity?! In Thembria?! Surely you jest, comic!) It appears to be hot chocolate as Baloo protests this outrage. Spigot blows him off because his law is law. Which is no gifts, no holiday, no celebration. However, he decides to refrain from shooting Baloo and simply takes the SeaDuck as a bargaining chip to gain lots of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. I guess Thembria is going through another bullet shortage...AGAIN!

We head to a wooden house inside the kitchen as Mr. Fox (sans glasses) is with his family, a typical North American family in the 1870's. (That was rather awkward.) One of the fox furries is a female wearing blue overalls, white shirt and has Anne Shirley's hairstyle, as she's sewing a hanky. There is an oil lamp on the table as Baloo is moping about being here for a solid week until Rebecca can get them the money to Spigot. When is Rebecca going to stop doing business in Thembria?! Mr. Fox mopes about private celebrations being banned. (Geez; Spigot is the Burgermeister only much shorter and without a broken foot.) The Anne Shirley female's name is Sarah as she proclaims that they can still make gifts and gives Baloo a hanky. Baloo thanks her and puts it in his shirt pocket and then notices one of the ornaments in his pocket is still there when Kit was decorating him. Oh, and the ornament has oil in it for some reason. (Which is dumb because if there's any heat present; it would set the tree on fire. Then again, it's Thembrian, so no heat literally. Although Colonel Spigot has a lot of heel heat on him now.) Sarah thanks Baloo as they use the oil to light the oil lamp. The boy wolf furry has a green sweater and the mother has a yellow sweater on as they admire the oil lamp because it only has enough fuel for one night. The next morning; everyone notices that the oil lamp is still going strong. Baloo gets up and proclaims that if that lamp can hold on for one day, so can him. He is going to fight Spigot's holiday ban. Sarah and the boy fox cheer for him as Mr. Fox wishes him good luck. However, Spigot isn't going to like this. I don't think Spigot likes anything Mr. Fox. (Not even himself, since the High Marshall is hellbent on shooting him for REASONS~!) We head to Colonel Spigot's office which demonstrates that the comic book artists still have no idea what Thembria looks like. The denizens are with Baloo as he climbs up the stairs proclaiming that he's going to stomp Spigot. Spigot kicks his ass off-screen and Baloo tumbles into the snow as Sarah asks if Spigot has been stomped. HAHA! Spigot comes down blowing Baloo off and since he's on the steps, Baloo will be arrested. So, the kids counter by throwing apples at Spigot. Wait; what?! How did they get the apples?!

This makes no sense except that it does lead to Spigot telling them to ignore what he just said. That was in fact funny. Several days later, we head back to the table in Mr. Fox's dining room as Sarah, the boy fox and Baloo are at the table as Baloo is thinking up a Krackpotkin Plan. Sarah notices the oil lamp is still going on strong. Baloo proclaims that he shalt not quit either as he's going to write an IOU on Spigot and steal the SeaDuck back to buy them gifts for the holidays. Yeah; like that's gonna work as we head to the hanger AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). Baloo practices the fine art of not being seen and talks too loudly as he enters the SeaDuck. The second he starts the engines, the alarm sirens and lights go off. Whoops! Baloo leaves the SeaDuck as Spigot and the guards enter -- and many of them are dogs for no reason -- with rifles as Spigot literally has a piece of paper with IOU on it. Yes, Baloo literally wrote one. (Okay, that was funny on Baloo's part. Too bad it didn't work.) Spigot blows it off as Baloo points out that Spigot is a hypocrite for having lights and sirens; which are trappings of the holiday season. Yeah; because it cannot be for security reasons now can't it?! Baloo then runs under the SeaDuck and bails stage right because he hears his mother calling him. Spigot is outraged that Baloo called him out on the carpet and orders his men to chase him and kill him. SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE SHADOW THEMBRIAN EDITION~ ensues as Dunder is yelling for Baloo to stop and Baloo basically says: "Not on anyone's life!" However; Baloo runs out of space and his back is against the wall. Baloo yells at them not to shoot as the guards point their guns at him because he's an innocent bystander. Yeah sure, Pop-A-Bear! Dunder comes in and then tells him that they weren't going to kill him, they were going to help him for once. Because you see, they don't like Spigot's edict either and wish him a "Happy Holiday". Baloo is helped out and returns to Mr. Fox's dining room. Baloo is sitting down at the table as we discover that Spigot has turned off the electricity and the denizens are allowed only one candle per person. Geez; that will show Mr. Fox! Even though considering that there's no evidence that the family has any electrical products, nor even running water.

Sarah tells him to cheer up as the boy fox informs us that the oil lamp just will not quit. (I say boy fox because he has no name in this comic despite having lines. I would call him Reggie and Sarah Shallmu with their last names Alice; just to see if anyone gets the reference. On the other paw, he might grow up to be Nick Wilde since none of the family has legit last names anyway.) This allows Baloo to get a Krackpotkin Plan as Christmas is supposed to be about sharing. This logically leads to a scene where the denizens are getting their candles lit from the oil lamp while the Thembrian denizens are all giving silver coins to Baloo to pay Spigot back for the SeaDuck. Also; Kit, Rebecca and WildCat somehow got into Thembria as Kit is surprised that the denizens are helping Baloo. Kit thought holiday celebrations were banned in Thembria as Baloo tells him Spigot allowed everyone a candle and it's time to let it shine. Yes folks; we have a Christmas story and a Hanukkah angle breaks out! Cut to the look off as Spigot is watching the denizens marching all over Thembria with lit candles and protesting this outrage. Dunder gleefully points out that Spigot's the idiot who thought this was a great idea as his candle is lit. One of the Thembrian generals with an unlit candle is excusing himself to attend a meeting and his stammering indicates that he's going to Mr. Fox's house. We see the babyfaces marching with lit candles as it's peace on earth, and good will toward men, women, children and everyone in the entire universe. Geez WildCat; if you are complaining about being chintzey, how about the multiverse?! (It's WildCat Puma, he'll learn in the end of the day.) Oh well; that ends the story. Cody and Gidget gave this a total DUD. However, they also thought Rebecca was singing about shoving Molly back into her womb; so screw them! (Don't get me wrong, both are good people. This wasn't their finest moment is all I can say.) This was a fine story with some really wonky logic breaks. However, there were some funny moments in it. (While it was a total mess of the a comic story, it had a real interesting charm to it and it deserves a better rating than former self gave. It's certainly *** 1/2 on the trainwreck scale, mostly due to the finish.) Call it *** (60%).

Warning #1: Okay, so now we have seen a Christmas story turn into a Hannukkah angle because we have to have a Jewish angle. Hey; why not?! Jolly Molly Christmas was hijacked by Jesus in the end of it's story. (Well until Ducktales 2017 when Molly saw Santa for real at the end of the series and realized that Santa was real all along.) Can you believe a third Christmas story exists, albeit in France?! (That one is called "Super Noel" because it's a Super Baloo take on Christmas, you see! Okay, if anyone speaks French and understands English who has read this story: Can you please tell me what the story is about? The first page seems to tease that Kit Cloudkicker is directly involved in that one. The Super Baloo stories are the only one I have not ranted on and "Do Not Play With Medallions" is the only one with video footage, but the camera is too shakey to make out most of the story.) Now, you would think that the comics would be smart enough to obey the edict of Disney Television Animation and not have a story with Nazi's in it?! I mean; who would be stupid enough to do that?! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! Welcome to hell and you can blame Doug Gray for our next comic story. Note that this one never made it outside of North America. I wonder why?! I...wonder...why...?!

The Dogs Of War: We begin this one with the SeaDuck flying over the Maltic Sea as Baloo and Kit are in the cockpit and their mission -- which they have no choice but to accept it, since Rebecca will strangle Pop-A-Bear if he doesn't -- is to deliver doorknobs to the rapidly tribal nation of Freedonia. Seagulls are flying as Kit is calling this an awful long way just to deliver door knobs. Baloo tells him not to worry because this is a step into introducing the modern world to Freedonia. (In other words, getting them up to 1878 in terms of booking.) Kit then notices something up ahead as Baloo is confused since there is a nasty black cloud heading straight for them. The artwork is horrible here as everything seems off in this comic. Watch the far shots they use, it's hideous. The SeaDuck flies through the rain storm cloud as Kit proclaims that they'll have to fly through to get to Freedonia. Kit looks back and then we...WARNING! WARNING! References to a group Disney didn't want in their televised series approaching! Could cause triggering of denial! You have been warned!... see a blue zeppelin with yellow trim and an "H" symbol on the front. Notice the SeaDuck cockpit has been reversed on one shot despite being the correct position three panels beforehand. (SUZY SHEEP~?!) Baloo calls this trouble because it's the air base of the Houn who were hiding in the storm clouds. Baloo calls this a dirty trick and Kit tells him not to worry because they don't want the cargo. I would be more concerned about them sending them to a concentration camp. (Or a gas chamber.) We cut to the cockpit area of the Houn Air Base as a dog furry looking like a German solider wearing a clear German Iron Cross on the front of his uniform, so they aren't even pretending that they are Nazi's. Just because you change the names and show no swastikas doesn't mean they are not Nazi's. (The last time I saw that was on an Air Pirate in Plunder and Lightning Part Four, in a one second shot that could have been easily been digitally painted off and none would be the wiser.) The German uniforms, accents and black helmet goggles on the wheelhouse operators give that away. (By the way, some episodes involving the Thembrians would have similar uniforms, but television at least made it clear that they were Russian. Besides, Russia is a dictatorship anyway no matter what they think they are.)

The officer wants their cargo as Baloo laughs him off for this. (No wonder Kit felt it was hopeless, the Nazis did want their cargo after all.) The officer proclaims that their intelligence indicates that they have cargo delivered to Freedonia as the German soldiers snicker about the essential pointlessness of these doorknobs. They play around this and then proclaims that they want the door knobs causing Baloo and Kit to be shocked and appalled. So, after no resistance; the SeaDuck has landed in the Houn Air Base as the German officers are exchanging notes with Baloo and Kit. One of the officers in the foreground is carrying a spiked thorn rifle for no reason. (You know the reason former self, don't act surprised at it's purpose! After all the guns on this show, what did you expect?!) The German dog furry proclaims that this is all a ploy because there are no doors in Freedonia as Baloo counters that they may ship those next. (So, they aren't into even 1200 booking at this point. Wow.) The dog furry gets in Baloo's face as Freedonia has a military base in which Baloo points out that they might have doors that might need door knobs. The officer blows him off and wants to deal with him later as the bulldog furry uses the crowbar to open up the cargo and then discovers that there is nothing...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING but doorknobs. The bulldog shows the doorknob to the dog officer as the doberman furry asks about electronics equipment and the bulldog says no. The doberman furry points out that the bulldog furry claimed that there was electronic equipment in the doorknobs. The bulldog furry points out that it's intellegence fault and they make a joke about intelligence's lack of intelligence so to speak. Of course! (I believe it's the same joke used by Robot Chicken for their TaleSpin parodies! Talk about a deep cut there, show!) The doberman furry recoils and backpedals as he realizes that he hijacked the SeaDuck for no good reason. He goes over to Baloo and Kit and proceeds to basically kiss their asses and almost kills his German accent. Almost. (Has to be the bulldog furries because it makes no sense for him to kick Kit's ass since even BS&P has it's limits.) He even offers to escort them to Freedonia and ignore this incident ever happened.

We see the bulldog furry on the catwalk as he orders two German guards to put their backs into it. However, the box is too large and it drops and breaks through. Door knobs spill out and then green boxes of electronic equipment also spill out as the bulldog furry gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLARITY because there is a false bottom in the wooden crate. UH-OH! (I always wondered why fools claimed that Baloo and Kit were "drug runners": Because of scenes like this combined with the fact that the USA invented a drug war because they found out that a real war assures that there will be Murtally Assured Destruction! Can't have that happening, so a war on drugs will have to do.) The bulldog furry runs in towards the babyfaces and one Nazi heel as I discover that his name is Wedge while the doberman furry's name is Major Heartworm! I was hoping they called him Major Manslaughter here, just to make the 90's Adventure Bear parody even more obvious. (More like Major Genocide to me, by how he looks.) Heartworm blows off Wedge and Baloo wants him to go away. Heartworm wants Wedge to go the hell away. However, Wedge shows him the green electronic box, telling him about the false bottom. Heartworm gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLARITY and gets into Baloo's face again proclaiming that Baloo has betrayed him and stabbed him in the back. Geez, there are a lot of oppressed people who would love to do that to him literally. And I'm not even talking about Baloo here. Baloo is completely confused. However, his body language clearly shows that he is guilty of something as Heartworm doesn't buy what Baloo is selling. Heartworm asks if they are going to stand there and deny this and Kit basically says, "yes". He's awesome. Wedge comes in and states that intelligence reports that they were not told about the shipment to insure secrecy. Heartworm is amazed by this as Baloo states that this proves that they weren't in on it and Kit proclaims that they honestly will not tell anyone. Heartworm no sells of course because he got betrayed and doesn't trust them; so he's just going to have Baloo and Kit executed. Why not?! Heartworm bails stage left to inform Admiral Houndkopf . (Thinks Adolf Hitler without the mustache.) Two big ass German guards are shoved stage left by Heartworm as Heartworm wants them thrown into the brig.

We head to a stage with a giant screen television and a microphone on a stand in pink color (BASTARDS!) as Heartworm is talking to Houndkopf informing them that they have intercepted the cargo. Houndkopf calls this good and he's heading to the Houn Air Base to check it out and orders Heartworm to salute him. Heartworm sells and that is that. Doug Gray seriously believed no one would figure out that these heels are Nazis. No one was fooled. Otherwise; this comic would have been translated and released in Europe. We head to the brig as Baloo is singing "If I Had The Wings Of An Angel!" and dances around as Kit sits on the top bunk bed looking depressed. Baloo throws his singing over to Kit and Kit no sells. Baloo tells Kit to cheer up and Kit no sells points out that they are locked up. I would also point out that they are going to die as Baloo blows him off for being a "Mopey Mike". Sod off, Pop-A-Bear! (Yeah, you are about to be sent to the ovens, you idiot!) Kit isn't amused as Baloo goes over to the prison cell door accusing Kit of thinking that there is no hope or something. Baloo is certain something will turn up as a pink poodle dog furry with the badly drawn Hitler mustache (WHAT?!) shows up in the German uniform as Baloo panics and drops onto the floor knocking himself out. HAHA! (Okay, what happened was funny. However, get rid of the Hitler mustache and it would have been funnier. I'm just saying.) The poodle greets him and tells Kit to wake him up because he's going to help them escape. The poodle has a French accent by the way as we see him open the door and the babyfaces run stage left with the poodle. We discover that his name is Toulouse Poodeau and he's a solider of the famed Poodle Resistance. Of course! He is spying on the Houn Air Base and is told to gather information and cause general mayhem. (I like this guy already.) Baloo thanks him for springing him out of the jail cell as Toulouse calls that mayhem and apologizes for scaring Baloo out of his wits. Which was in fact funny. Baloo is pissed off about this and blames the storm cloud for all this. Toulouse points out that they carry a rain machine with them to create rain clouds above the airship to use as cover. Jeepers creepers; these Nazi wannabes are five hundred years ahead of everyone in technology. Could they be Jurals in disguise?! TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT~!

Toulouse's promo cutting is funny as we head stage left to find some uniforms for the babyfaces. Yes; the babyfaces now have to dress up as Nazis! (Oh damn!) We head to the control room as the two German guards are steering the ship talking about loving everyone's work probably because they will go to the gas chamber otherwise. In comes the babyfaces in German uniform and Kit is never going to live this one down. This puts the old "Kit dressed up as a seal" in All's Whale That Ends Whale into it's proper perspective, doesn't it?! (Yeah, former self!) Toulouse orders them to salute because they are relieving them. The guards proclaim that they are four minutes and twenty-seven seconds early. Toulouse blows him off and orders him to fix his watch as they are on time and Heartworm demands exact time. The guard corrects his watch and bails saying some legit German just to remind the audience even more that they are Nazis. Baloo and Kit open up a panel while Toulouse stands guard as Baloo calls the Nazis several chapters shy a book. Baloo ponders over switching the wires over to stir things up as Toulouse admits that they are the controls to the rain making device and they have one minute two seconds left. Baloo switches the cables off-screen as the babyfaces salute the two German guards coming in to relieve them. Yes folks; all three babyfaces did the Hitler salute clear as day in the panel in shadow; with Kit getting a white shadow! (The same salute Wezeal did in "Vowel Play"! Who greenlighted this?!) We get a lineup of dog German soldiers, Baloo and Kit with rifles. Heartworm and Wedge march as Heartworm is giddy about meeting Houndkopf, wants another gold star and to make a first impression. Wedge agrees with him while they talk about Houndkopf as a hero to them and inspiring for joining the force. This is just scary! Didn't anyone tell Doug Gray that World War II ended a long time ago and doesn't need to do a propaganda comic story anymore?! Why yes folks, Kit even got to handle a loaded rifle for real! (In the worst possible story I might add! UGGGHHHH!) Sadly; he didn't fire it, so he didn't outgun Honker Muddlefoot if you catch my drift. (Too bad because if there was one time I would like to see the anime purists get their bloodlusting wish, it would be on these Nazis.)

The heels march away stage right. I'm shocked they didn't goosestep here, so even Gray thought that spot was too offensive even for this comic! Toulouse bails stage left to continue his duties as part of the resistance as Baloo and Kit say goodbye and bail to the SeaDuck stage right. Scene change to the large army of soldiers standing at attention with their rifles. One of the guards tells Heartworm that Houndkopf's plane is approaching the base as Heartworm tells them to open the top door in the balloon. The doors slowly open and then the right flap slams shut as the red baron Nazi plane (of course!) flies towards the entrance. Heartworm panics as one of the guards proclaims that the controls are not working, and he orders the other door open right now. Doesn't matter as the red baron plane goes through the door and destorys the right half of the plane in the process. The red plane spirals into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) as it crashes onto the floor of the landing strip. The pilots door opens and out comes Houndkopf as Heartworm is kissing his ass pleading for him to not hold a grudge and wants to show off the SeaDuck to him. Baloo and Kit get into the cockpit as they have changed clothes. The SeaDuck starts the engines as Heartworm and Wedge panic and run in opposite direction away from the SeaDuck. You know who doesn't run away? Houndkopf! He just stands there like a complete goddamn idiot, which everyone is cheering for him to be this. Baloo flies the SeaDuck and Houndkopf gets MURDERED with the underbelly of the SeaDuck as the plane flies into the air. Yes folks; Baloo tried to kill this show's answer to Adolf Hitler...and he failed! (If only the German soliders had any sense to do this from the start...)Kit panics because they won't make it. However, Baloo proclaims that they must as Baloo tilts the SeaDuck and screams YAHOO! The SeaDuck flies out of the door without incident. D'OH! Heartworm goes over to Houndkopf and is pissed off and moarning Houndkopf as if he's dead. (What a coward this Nazi is?!)

Sadly; he is not as Heartworm orders everyone to turn on the rain machine. (BOO! HISS!) Heartworm tells them to also unleash the umbrellas, boots and dress in layers. Wait; so it's really going to snow?! (In this case, nope! Which surprised even me former self.) Some guard pushes a green button on the rain machine control panel and the airship completely explodes on cue. The airship sinks as we cut to a Nazi life raft with Houndkopf blowing off Heartworm as he plans to do terrible things to him when they return to Hounsland. (Which means torture him and then gas him. Why not?! Since treason to a dictator means failing him.) Wedge is nowhere to be seen and there's nothing to indicate that Toulouse got away alive. I'm speculating here. However, methinks these two guys are dead along with the German soliders. (Huge, if true.) We cut back to the cockpit of the SeaDuck as Baloo is piloting and Kit is smiling that they made it out alive. Baloo proclaims that he told him so. I guess they told him that they would defeat fucking Nazis after Disney told them not to have Nazi references in this series! Baloo wants to head to Freedonia to unload the junk as we get a really silly final shot with Kit and Baloo on a sandspit near a beach with palm trees. Baloo is relaxing in his hammock wearing a blue/yellow spotted Hawaiian shirt with the radio on the palm tree. Kit is lying down on a purple towel wearing shades, no hat and a yellow/green spotted shirt enjoying himself. I think this is one of the few times in the comics that the soles of Kit's feet matched with the televised series. (Both which were problematic stories and this artwork was horrible.) Baloo proclaims that there is no clouds in the sky and that ends the story. Thank goodness this story is over! The story itself is good in that the Nazi's got their comeupperance in a vicious, violent way at least. However, the artwork is terrible and there's no way to paint a smiley face on the fact that Nazis are in this story! Call it *** 1/2 (75%); because I feel generous since Toulouse was fun and the Nazis got their asses kicked at least. Still, it's no surprise that this comic was only released in North America. Last Horizons was a lot more offensive than this; but still, you know Germany and all that. (Honestly, no one is going to feel sorry for the Nazi stereotypes in anyway. Asian stereotypes on the other hand, BAD!)

THE REVIEW LINE

A pretty above average list of stories thus far, although it wasn't boring by any means. "The Ruby Monkey Head" was a fun story marred by a mess of logic breaks that turned Kit into a god for the first half of the story and then turned into a useless lump for the second half. Seriously, Kit was just saving himself and fighting Don Karnage and somehow didn't kill himself despite being in situations where he should have died and somehow he didn't. Then he gets caught the second time and he cannot free himself from a tree. It was fun to watch. However, it was bad logic all the same. It also didn't help that Don Karnage spoke normally here and had a blimp. However, I blame the former on Bob's writing and the later isn't really a bad thing, so I can forgive the artists for that one. Despite all this; I liked this story more than Land Of Trala-la because Kit was awesome in this and the ant death trap was hilarious and deadly at the same time. It makes it feel like something different than what the nephews suffered. "Shine A Little Light" was absurd in it's premise and it's the usual problems with no comic writers understanding how Thembria works. (It's not absurd, it's basically TaleSpin's version of Rankin Bass's "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town!") It's even more profound to find a diverse set of furries in a country where the televised series is all warthogs. The story is fine and I thought it was much better than most people say it is. However, compared to Jolly Molly Christmas, it was just silly outside of the miracle ending when Hannukah basically broke out. Kind of like watching a boxing match and then a hockey game broke out. Then there's "Dogs Of War". Granted; the heels got their asses kicked and rightfully so. However, they were Nazis and no one was fooled except for Nazis. The artwork was not good and the references were too obvious to everyone, including the kids. How this got greenlighted is a mystery to me. As a story; it was fine and Toulouse was amusing to me at least. On the other paw, I felt Kit gave up way too easily here and it's tough to like this story knowing that Kit and Baloo are basically fighting Nazis. Especially when Disney told creative not to have Nazis in TaleSpin, since they were selling the product to Germany, which Nazism is banned. (Geez, I wonder why?!) Thankfully; this comic was not released outside of North America. (Don't expect a re-print of any kind in any country until the end of time. Besides, I want the Disney Afternoon Adventures to print the Super Baloo comics I have not reviewed yet!) Overall, some amazing stories for the wrong reasons. Next up is the final three random comics as we tackle the law of the bayou, some Chippits and cheaters abound! Yay! We're almost there, everyone. (The final rant I need to transfer, too. At least that one is just wacky with a much less problematic slant with a weird color scheme for Kit's airfoil.) So...

Thumbs in the middle for all three stories and I'll see you all next time..

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