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For Whom The Bell Klangs OAV Rant

Reviewed: 06/06/2009-06/07/2009
Additional Commentary: 11/06/2021

“Enough comedy...”- Klang. “Not nearly enough!”- Eisner.

Original Airdate: 11/27/1990-11/28/1990 (Syndication), Episodes #39-40 (TaleSpin Volume 2, Disc 2), Episodes #45-#46 (Production Order).

For Whom The Bell Klangs Notes
For Whom The Bell Klangs Transcript

(2015 Gregory Weagle Says: I'm removing the milestone because it's useless now. Although I would like to know if anything scenes from the VHS version were different from the DVD release?) So; a pilot television movie and an OAV featuring the character that got TaleSpin approved in the first place never gets on VHS (but gets on DVD; so the joke is negated somewhat); but this OAV does get a full VHS release called Search For The Lost City?! That should tell you what Michael Eisner was shooting for when he was focusing on DTVA right there. Then again; TaleSpin was a constant; so we as the core TaleSpin fan didn't have much to complain and it became a moot point when Bob Iger brought out the DVD releases anyway. (And now the TaleSpin DVD set is complete at three volumes. Which is basically an admission of guilt that there is no chance in hell that Disney's rebooting TaleSpin.) It's fitting that Plunder and Lightning started the multi-part episodes with Acts I and IV with Mark Zaslove as the writers because this was pretty much the peak episode for him creativity wise in Disney before really falling off the map from 1994 onward after a great stint with Mighty Max. (Overall, yes. I still think Plunder and Lightning was the true peak for Mark Zaslove on this show alone. Although Mark's last appearance as a writer was a really terrible Bonkers episode.) This OAV was to demonstrate the adventure/comedy side of TaleSpin; or to be more precise, to get Baloo and Louie over on their own as characters. (It did get over; but nowadays it seems the better episode was Road To Macadamia which was only one episode and felt more focused.) Unlike Monty; Baloo and Louie were pretty over on their own well before this series and Mark Zaslove didn't really need to over kill that part of the deal, so they wrote Baloo and Louie into the Bring Crosby and Bob Hope type of deal; plus write in a strong female role in Katie Dodd and a pretty unique villain in Klang and we were in for some major chaos and destruction to occur. I remember liking this two part episode back in the day despite no Kit Cloudkicker and no Don Karnage along with a lot of Sun Woo; so how does it do now? (The plot of this two part episode is that Baloo and Louie decide not to do any more treasure hunting and try not to act like sexist morons; which they have to break their promise because a literal snake in the grass named Klang is after a weapon in the desert to destroy cities and make a lot of money and is after an archaeologist named Katie Dodd who has finally discovered a ruined lost city made of bell, harmonics and musical notes. This feels like something out of an Indiana Jones movie that Lucasfilms should have stolen and screw Disney in the head with. Well; with Disney buying out the company, that is a moot point now.) Let's rant on; shall we...?

This episode is written by Mark Zaslove and story edited by Jymn Magon. The television OAV was directed by Jamie Mitchell. The animation is sadly (Why? Sun Woo is bland, but I would rather have them than Kennedy Cartoons or in this show; Wang Films.) all done by Sun Woo Animation which really grinds my gears sadly; but in all fairness, TaleSpin was their best work. Ponder THAT one for a minute and SULK.

Act I: A Vacation Goes Wild!

We begin this one at the south pole. We know this because there is ice all around and Baloo and Louie are running away from a giant beast. Now that's what I like about the writers: No recycled footage and seeing my two least favorite characters tease death for my pleasure. Sure; BS&P will never allow them to actually die; but it's Disney. They aren't going to kill of their main characters that easily. Or for COMEDY BABEE! Also, they are dressed in winter gear with snowshoes on; how cute?! (Basically; a douchebag and dudebro version of the beginning of the episode The Bigger They Are, The Louder They Oink.) Louie is constantly blowing Baloo off for trusting him and Baloo does in kind because a girl sold him a phony map. See kids; that is the dangers of being a sexist; even a mild one. Sometimes the girl will play into your little game and outsmart the male good. Good show there Mark Zaslove. (At least in the TaleSpin world. I'm not so confident about the real world though.) Baloo then blows off Louie for waking up Mr. Grumpy back there as Burtis the Blubber SealCake (I'm going to get flamed for that one!) blubbers on the conveniently placed ice bridge of doom as apparently he magically appears just behind them. (Okay 2008 Me, you screwed up big time. The walrus never had a name and Brutus is the bouncer later on in this episode! DUMB! Although I'm shocked Ed Leslie hasn't stolen this gimmick yet.) That would be logic break #1 for the episode since we didn't see him at all during the first thirty seconds of the run through. (Listen 2008 Me, the logic break was done for suspense reasons even though it's kind of moot if you're going to introduce the chaser thirty seconds later anyway. This is a weird version of the "Viewers Are Goldfish" trope; which is usually reserved for flashback.) At least Baloo and Louie make up for it by flopping on the snow which is amazing for Baloo since Baloo is at least 500 pounds and in real life shouldn't be able to do that spot AT ALL. The walrus' eyes indicate that he is one pissed off walrus so at least I can forgive Sun Woo for the obvious logic break. A little bit. Baloo of course becomes the sled and Louie jumps on his back and uses his face to steer. HAHA!

Louie proclaims that this is how you use your face. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Louie chops the snow; but this walrus won't quit like the strong-ass walrus that he is. Baloo complains about a blue belly and Louie tells him to belly up which is actually quite funny because in case this is a good idea. Unlike in the video game industry when Mr. Hardcore tells me to chin up when my PS2 gets Disc Read Errors. That's really bad and it makes sure I never want to buy a Sony product ever again. (Still haven't and probably never will. I realize that this was back in 2008 and Sony has improved; but they broke my trust of them and it's going to take a long time before they can convince me that they have learned their lesson.) The walrus MURDERS an ice bridge for fun and then it's the ski jump for our heroes as they plunge into the icy water of death. It makes perfect sense since you can DIE in icy water in real life; but it's Disney so there you go. Louie rows with the snowshoe. Gadget who? Louie makes Gadget look even weaker in hindsight since she usually breaks logic by MAGICALLY pulling out makeshift items. (By the way; anytime I say "gadget trick of doom"; this is the reason why.). Baloo continues to whine like a fatass. Louie gleefully answers that one for me (Because you got the biggest spare tire – RIMSHOT~!) as the walrus slides in safe and bellyflops in the water and that is DANGER – TSUNAMAI~! Thankfully; the Sea Duck left side window is right there and open for Louie and Baloo to wrap around and dive right into before any more harm and amusement can come at their expense and to mine. (Nice to see Baloo was on the ball here in case they did get screwed. Although MADD would somehow construct this as Baloo being a drunk driver or a drunk flyboy.) The SeaDuck gets bloated like the HD Twins as Baloo and Louie are in the cockpit staring down the ROID RAGE Brutis The Blubber Warlseal. (Ah; I see this was written at the peak of Sean Malstrom's awesomeness, which explains a lot about why you should never put anyone on a pedestal. Except maybe Kit Cloudkicker.) Okay; that was more disturbing than I had intended. (Yeah 2008 Me. You are just daring Ed Leslie to try out these gimmicks now.)

Baloo then pushes the red button (of course) and pulls the lever (JESUS~!) as he is royal-fully pissed off and the SeaDuck starts up and roars back. The Seaduck turns on a dime and bails as Brutis jumps for joy. Where is B. Brian Blair and his para-sail when you really NEED him? Okay; I know that was tasteless, but it fits in the entire scheme of the pun so screw it. Besides; Ed Leslie is a total waste of talent now since the para-sailing incident and NEVER took the hint of getting out the wrestling business after his poor performances in WCW so there you go. (Yeah; but he did provide such easy cannon fodder for mockery. It's even sadder when you consider that Ed Leslie was improving before the incident occured and was on course for a big push in WWE. So, yeah; this was very tasteless on 2009 me's part. ) Baloo proclaims that this is never a dull moment as Brutis uses his teeth to grab the back wing of the SeaDuck and we fly into the sky just to rub it in to the two goofs with attitude. HEE HEE! Louie of course violate ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 (Blubber on the Rudder); but Baloo is on the stick on this one and does the spin-o-rama to twist the walrus off as he lands with a resounding splash into the icy sea below. Which is as good as a MAN-SIZED bump in water terms. We go to the front nose shot of the Sea Duck as Louie ask what they should do with the rest of their vacation. Baloo states that it should be anything but treasure hunting because that is trouble see. Louie agrees with that notion because that would be falling for pretty faces with crazy stories. Baloo decides to fly the SeaDuck to a place that is warm to thaw themselves out. I noticed that they changed into their regular clothes now. I guess the wave destroyed the winter clothes. No logic break; just weird. (That's more of a logic break than the walrus being absent for thirty seconds.) The voice of the walrus is Frank Welker the animal voice god for the two of you who care. Now, there has been some debate going on for sometime on if this episode took place before Baloo met Kit; or after Baloo met Kit. Now the vacation part Louie and Baloo talk about would seem to indicate that the episode did take place after Plunder and Lightning after all.

However, if we are to believe that Rebecca Cunningham is truly a bitch then would she give a vacation to a lazy irresponsible bear? (Yeah; 2009 Me was spewing toxic language further than 2010 Me was; so I feel so ashamed of myself for this stupidity.) Quite frankly; would see give one even if she was not a jerk? Personally; I think this episode would take place BEFORE Baloo met Kit and it makes for some interesting connection material later on even if it is mere conspiracy theories. (This is without doubt a pre-Plunder and Lightning episode. Some people would suggest that it's not because Baloo mentions WildCat; but WildCat was employed by Baloo before Rebecca bought Baloo's Air Service. So it would be impossible to put Kit into this episode anyway. Unless you are going for the "pinning for the fijords moment and Kit was apart of Klang's cult.) Kind of like my conspiracy theories on Jungle Cubs being made to bury TaleSpin which of course failed so bad so Eisner black balled Jymn Magon from the company. Then again; that is wild speculation on my part and shouldn't be taken as fact. Yet. (That conspiracy theory of mine is a lot more believable than most theories of it's ilk; so give yourself some credit at least 2009 Me.) So this all logically leads to a desert. Or the SANDBOX FROM HELL. No one accused the writers of not knowing the difference between hot and cold; that is for sure. We pan over to the LOST CITY OF THE BEETLES (The animal; not the awesome rock group every hardcore person uses to praise while bashing the Jonas Brothers while NOT realizing the irony of it all.) and then zoom in complete with charm music from the Middle Eastern part of the world. You know it's the 1990's when you can still do stereotypical music at this point while still flashing cool PC characters around. (Yeah, it's 2009 and he's still not got the fact that PC is a bigoted dog whistle if used outside of mentioning a personal computer.) We then cut to DA...HOLE inside as a camel just sit there beside said hole and eats. You know it's classic Sun Woo when they try pointless animation in an attempt to make themselves seem better than they already are.

It sadly failed because they got a lot worse after TaleSpin when other shows started to really cut corners in other aspects of the business of entertainment. Thank you Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove for learning your lesson well, not well enough to be your own execs sadly. (Yeah, now they are just freelancers who write scripts for animation being done in the rest of the world which American exceptionalism has ignored them or in some cases like Johnny Test, become downright hostile to it. To be fair; Johnny Test, the character does that to a lot of people.) Then we hear a strong woman in DA...HOLE (god bless Baby Plucky!) looking for something in said hole. We look inside the hole from the right side and see a pretty manly like female fox wearing archeological gear, boots and the Guy LaDouce hat. She also has red hair which indicates that she is a hot head and prone to get into fights. TaleSpin had one really sick major advantage over Ducktales that even Chris Barat would agree with (Other than Kit Cloudkicker of course; but that one is way too obvious.): Good strong and balanced female roles. Goldie comes to mind in Ducktales (And I do believe the female reporter that I actually talked about in an episode in Darkwing Duck; but I lost her name at this point.(That would be Webwa Walters 2008 me!)); but even Goldie sometimes comes out as a psychopath. Magical Despell could also be argued as an interesting female character; albeit she is more of a female emo goth type character which comes out more weird than anything else. (There is also the problem with Satanic cults occuring during the time Ducktales came out in the 1980's and the fact that goths and emos are still shunned to an extent even today. I thought Goldie was a great character in her own right, however; her threats against Scrooge during the wedding did border on scoiopathism. ) In TaleSpin we got Rebecca and Molly (business major and junior bodyguard/Save Kit from Himself Guardian), Plane Jane (and she doesn't have the usual hourglass bodytype and she's a pilot! (She outwitted Baloo in a obstacle course race.)), Mira (She almost killed Dumptruck with a piano and really did an epic rant on the mummy that scared Baloo out of his wits.), Katie (archaeologists (I'm going with Disney Captions' spelling until the script says otherwise.)), Clementine (Cowgirl and one of two Khan execs.), Lotta (Only princess stereotype; but no real prince charming and she has to protect the king from himself. (And like Mira, she can stand up for herself.)), Kitten (sad heel), Mary Lamb (activist pilot feminist.) and a few others that were nameless. (Huh, you missed Eddy from The Sound & The Furry. Now granted; I would love to see more of these type of characters named in this show too. However; they all had different personalities (and even the physical body were different) types at least and really distinct booking names. It's believable for the time period.)

She grabs something from the dust and she finds a set of really kick ass wind chimes. Seriously; I sometimes believe the stars were aligned perfectly when this series was made and THAT'S why it got such nuclear heat when it first came out. It's the third bell of the legend according to her. Oooooo...only the third. I'm giddy now as to what the second and first ones look like. The third bell is the key to the lost city of Tinabula which let's face it is a kick ass name for a city lost or found. I'm SHOCKED no one has stolen it yet. Maybe Disney has trademarked the name; who knows. (Probably not.) And she gets too greedy with that smile of hers because it's hers at last as the shadow of doom corrects her and calls her Miss Dodd. Well; Disney Captions and I are half right at least on the last name, unlike the Wiley Pole/Paul incident last rant. Why? Because it's HIS see! And we pan up to see a black hat wearing, black cape wearing snake Kaa who looks so badass with the metal jaw and metal hands that I betcha the hardcore is whimpering somewhere as we speak because Kaa has been so bastardized like that. (Nope; it's not Kaa, which is surprising considering that this is the only snake in the series.) He also has the Barbarossa tire tube voice as well; although it's not nearly as annoying as it was in Valkyrie Profile. Probably because it's done by a REAL ACTOR instead of a 4Kids CARTOON VOICE. (We'll get to Tim Curry later on; but it should be noted: I don't really blame the voices for the crappy dubs 4Kids churned out over the years. That can be placed at the feet at whomever was voice directing.) Also, the badass Kaa wants all three bells and thanks her to show his caring side as the woman is seriously screwed as badass Kaa has brought three red robe thugs with him to capture Miss Dodd. We know this since they are wearing red robes as Dodd is screaming no and she sounds decent for a voice actor. Katie Dodd is voiced by Ellen Gerstell. We then cut over to a section of desert as Baloo and Louie are sitting in their shaded lawn chairs with their SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT drinking pineapple juice and doing nothing AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! Which of course is what they are at their best at. Louie gets the Cloudkicker sweater green umbrella by the way. SYMBOLISM RULEZ BABEE~! Or maybe not.

Baloo and Louie laugh it up although Louie nicely acts like hardcore because he wants to be closer to the water. (Which is in fact, a perfectly reasonable statement.) When Mr. Hardcore is a million times worse than Louie; you know it's time for them to see the shrink. Baloo proclaims that this is better than going on a frozen goose chase. They blow off buried treasure and kidnapped women as they will never be fooled again and they do a really silly spot to amuse me. 2:1 odds say they break their promise in the next two minutes; starting now. Of course we see a camel running like mad towards them with a tied up and gagged Miss Dodd (What a pervert this Mark Zaslove fellow is?!) on the camel and the camel stampede destroys the goofs with attitudes setup of course. Louie calls this odd weather as Dodd manages to scream through the gag without any problems. She must be Drake Mallard's teacher. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! SLAP! OUCH! Ummmm... (Not a good decision by Ginny McSwain. She should have noticed this and redubbed it.) Baloo thinks about going after her; but he recoils and they replace their chairs. Wow! They are actually trying to stick to their plan after all. Bastards! The camel comes back and destroys them again. HAHA! Now THAT'S payback bitches! (Can we go ONE re-rant without you using that word 2009 asshole me?!) Baloo then admits that they have to stop that pesky camel before more innocent chairs get MURDERED. Yeap; this episode took place BEFORE Plunder and Lightning. Just accept it and move on. (You're not the boss of me, 2009 me! That said; you're right anyway.) As we cut to a far shot of the camel running like the wind on a southeast wind this time as the SeaDuck comes from behind them. Baloo puts the SeaDuck above the camel and calls to Louie as Louie hangs from the door of the open tail section of the SeaDuck. Yeap; these guys are pretty insane to do something like this with or without bullets. Louie lowers himself (Oh boy, that just writes itself!) and grabs Miss Dodd and then he turns into Mr. Pervert in about three seconds. Welcome to 1990 folks; when charm spots like that were still cool enough to pull off without groups going nuts. Yet. (That didn't stop people from getting Last Horizons off television for eighteen months though.)

Baloo calls out for Louie to blow off the driver (Except there wasn't one so Baloo is wasting his time anyway like an idiot!) and Louie enters like a sexist with this gem of a line:

Louie: She followed me home. Can I keep her?

Oh my god. You think Disney would allow THAT today?! (Yes 2009 me. Yes. Nickeledeon wouldn't have just allowed it, they would be demanding that Katie get pelted by bread and stalked with reckless abandon that in any other universe , the offender would be in jail; but in Nickoland, there are no police officers because they are party poopers.) I'm sure Miss Dodd would be kicking Louie's ass right now if she wasn't bound and gagged. I wondered why Mark Zaslove hasn't been doing DTVA episodes much since TaleSpin. Hmmm. Oh wait; that's me entering conspiracy theories again and doing that with Mark Zaslove equals DANGER for those who know my relationship with him. (I think the real Mark Zaslove hasn't even seen my website.) We then cut to the camp as the followers check the tents and plunder because Disney doesn't do rape see; at least on-screen. (Also thank goodness for that. It's bad enough when Nickeledeon is starting to go to that place you shouldn't cross. Although seeing Family Guy cross the line is so common now and I'm numb to that sort of thing.) Badass Kaa storms out of the tent and wants answers on the girl. Ummm; you tied her up, you gagged her and put her on a camel you jackass. We know this because we saw her on a camel destroying Baloo and Louie's vacation spot. Red Robe Thug #1 (Jim Cummings) proclaims that they sent her packing as badass Kaa is PISSED so he invokes the binoculars because without Miss Dodd he cannot find the weapon of power. (Okay; I know what you are all thinking: Why should Klang give a damn about Katie when he has the chimes? Believe it or not; there is a good reason for this and I'll explain it when we get there.) He notices the camel and the SeaDuck going away and calls them meddlers. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. I would also call them promise breakers too; but that would be entering; you know. (No; it's not a conspiracy, it's perfectly reasonable.) He tells the red robe thugs to go after them and they chatter like a bunch of idiots. This is basically the Air Pirates only more like a religious cult and I can hear Eisner say: “Don't say that word; that makes me nervous!”.

We head to a side shot of the SeaDuck as Baloo tells Louie to un-gag the pretty lady and proclaims that she wants to thank him as Louie blows him off because he saw her first. Sexist perverts! Where is Mr. Fat when you really need him?! Louie ungags her and she calls him a goon. That's kind of lame if you ask me, Mark. Sick goon would have been a lot better here as Louie kindly lets go of her and unties the wrist ropes. That's not really smart considering that TaleSpin females tend to be on equal ground with the males; but it's Louie so there you go. (Except in Feminine Air, where Rebecca and Mary Lamb got mocked for all it's worth. Luckly, Rebecca and Baloo did get back at Coolhands Luke for being such a literal WASP Fred Flintstone.) Miss Dodd blows him off for calling her “sweet stuff”. Okay that works since the scare quotes were in the correct context here and Dodd's first name is Katie according to Disney Captions. Which suits me just fine, thank you. Katie drops her butt into Kit's future navigational chair, demands that they go to Grafia and drop her off at the police station. Okay; that's fine, although we normally call it Grafhia. It just makes it easier to spell with Disney Captions. See; she needs to report those desert rats who stole her bells which gets Baloo all confused. Katie explains that they reveal the lost city of Tinabula. Louie doesn't get it and Katie blows off their lack of hearing. You know; maybe I just hate tree house syndrome in general now or maybe I don't like Baloo and Louie that much; but I just cannot imagine Katie as being a jerk here. She gets kidnapped by a bunch of scumbags and now she's saved by a bunch of slightly lesser scumbags. It doesn't leave her much to work with here. This is why you will never see a cartoon like TaleSpin for a long time from Disney; if ever. (Although Katie could have chosen a better choice of words that didn't make her look like a smart ass.) Louie and Baloo plug their ears like a bunch of theocrats and want no part of this whatsoever. Wow; so they really did save her just to save innocent chairs after all. As selfish as THAT sounds; that is good CONTINUITY and they kept their word so far after about 90 seconds. Katie does the Gruffi pose and proclaims to suit themselves as one final blowoff.

She shouldn't tell them anyway; those two are just a hundred times better versions of Bumblelion and Rhinokey anyway. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! POW! OUCH! OUCH! Ummmm... Baloo and Louie have a conference and decide that they will at least listen to the story and try to take it seriously which we all know it isn't going to happen. Katie has that look of “I am walking into a obvious trap”; but recoils and decides to explain the whole story as we go to the flashback at exactly six minutes in. (Which is a B&W flashback, so that means; change the channel! Exec Science is so wonderful isn't it?) We see the lost city of Tinabula which of course is filled with lots and lots of bells and bell technology. See; three thousand years ago golden Tinabula was a rogue state with a city that had an unbeatable evil weapon and that they worshiped strange beasts known as the Giant Scarabs which of course invokes fits of laughter from Pop-A-Bear. Twenty seconds in and Katie has already sprung the trap and she's caught like a desert rat herself. Katie blows them off for calling them scabs since they are stupid idiots. See, hindsight 20/20 has made Katie look a hundred times better now then she did when I first saw her back in 1994/1995. Again; treehouse syndrome is a plotline in the TaleSpin world and it actually played out in real life for this series with the TaleSpin Internet Community when Molly Cunningham was bashed to death by the Baloo and Rebecca lovers and then later ; several commentators started going after Rebecca Cunningham. There are people out there who simply cannot stand a female getting in the way in a business that used to be a male dominated sport. TaleSpin played this to the hilt in entertainment and Nintendo is doing it in real life with Cammie Dunaway being the only main executive in their branch. She also a good enough game player; she just needs time to mature and she'll be great. She's got the business down pat. (That didn't last long sadly.) Katie also states that they created giant statues in the sand which indicates that this is a former religious cult and now this episode is starting to creep me out. Of course; the KARMA HAND OF GOD strikes and the desert swallowed the evil city leaving nothing but sand.

In other words; this city is basically a non-religious version of a Satanic cult. You got to hand it to Magon; he ALWAYS found a way around BS&P to get what he needed to get the entertainment to do it's job and still be interesting. Too bad he ran out of tricks and got blacklisted in the end; but he still left me with lots of great material to work with so it's not a big loss all things considered. (No; he wasn't black listed; he was put out to pasture like everyone else because Hollywood still thinks the lifespan of human beings is forty years old. There's echo chamber and then there is Hollywood. Be thankful the rest of the world has gotten past that previous reality because it would be tragic for those who aren't forty years old or older and find out that they will be forty years old and disposed of. Even sports and pro wrestling are more tolerant with senior citizens as workers.) Of course the city crumbles to dust as everyone dies basically and we fade to black for the Post-Production Glitch number one of the episode as Baloo calls it scary. Katie proclaims that it has been lost ever since. I betcha Baloo and Louie laugh at her expense after that one. I check the DVD... We still go on as Katie explains more as she found the city again with a room containing bells and the middle of the room containing the three golden bells in still motion. Then we go to a B&W image of a cliff area as we go to darkness where badass Kaa and his red-robe thugs are meeting at a campfire as Katie proclaims that they have stolen the bells from her and she has to get them back as we go to the far shot as badass Kaa does his evil menacing moves...(How did Katie see this scene? Unless he did this just before the thug sent Katie off; but it makes no sense.) and then...DAMN; I'm good. That's why I love TaleSpin. They really know when to time the betcha on me when I least expect them too. Katie is back to the Gruffi pose as she has that “I should be sending these perverts to the police” look as the SeaDuck flies stage northwest as we are nearing Ghrafia. The CACTUS JACKS OF DOOM give it away of course. We head into the city of Ghrafia near the police station as Baloo and Louie are near a camel and Baloo keeps rubbing it into Katie while Katie isn't around to hear it like the back stabbing sexist that he is. He's only making Rebecca look more and more like a babyface now.

We go to another shot as a few police officers come out looking like brown mice in an attempt to show up that Sun Woo doesn't suck. It doesn't work sadly as Baloo calls Katie a genuine screwball. Better a screwball than a sexist Pop-A-Bear. AHHAHAHAHA! I think the egg is on your face now since you have to deal with a female who you cannot hit and she has the deed to YOUR Seaduck. Katie then flings open the door and storms out in outrage because apparently the police didn't believe her story. Geez; I knew the police were dumber than dirt in DTVA; but sexist too?! (Yes, yes they were 2009 me.) Louie of course falls for it (HA!) and believes her story and wants to talk to her over dinner. Which is codeword for date; which is codeword for screwing Baloo out of a girlfriend to show him up. Codeword: animal kingdom version of Hope and Crosby right there folks. I think I covered the bases on that one. Baloo pulls the camel forward as he wants to ask Katie out for a date as Katie runs off for a second; but thanks them and then rightfully blows them off for being a bunch of patronizing girl crazy buffaloes. BURN BABEE! BURN! You expect BS&P to let them say sexist outright?! You know what religious groups think when they see the word “sex” in any context? (Actually; in modern live action shows for kids; you can now say sexist without getting fined or suspended. Good for them too, actually.) She then takes the camel and storms off stage left. Nowadays; Baloo and Louie would be the heels and Katie would be the strong babyface; but in 1990; Katie was a bitch and they were the lovable babyfaces. See why FemiNazi's exist folks? (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Someone on additional commentary many years ago was clearly asleep at the wheel to not notice the obvious here.) Know thy enemy and naturally like the sexist males that the are; Louie ask if that is a yes or a no for dinner. Where is the High Marshall's Wife when you really need her? We go to Cafe Ritz in wonderful neon pink AFTER HAPPY HOUR (Read: After Dark) as Baloo and Louie enter in their classy formal gear (well; Baloo is being classy at least. Louie's lavender suit is just asking for jokes to be hurled at him). Well; it's nice to know that it takes the power of sexism for them to dress formally when they cannot do it properly in a work setting.

They enter inside as a hippo usher with greasy hair comes towards them; but Baloo and Louie completely ignore him. He looks awfully familiar; I think he was from A Star is Torn. Louie licks his hand and does his hair to annoy me and then Baloo bumps him as they looks themselves in the MIRROR OF VANITY just to be dicks. Baloo adjusts his big ass red bowtie which sadly isn't cool because it doesn't take pictures. Of course; this show took place at around the 1930's so this is to be expected sadly. Baloo calls himself a sight for sore eyes which is so true since my eyes are so sore in seeing him being compared to Hoppo. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Louie blows him off because those eyes are blind. You know it's 1990 when blind is still allowed in DTVA as Baloo calls him jealous since his suit still fits like a glove. Louie gleefully blows that off with a mighty big thumb and asks about his hitchhiking skills as the greasy haired usher in the white suit arrives with an obvious French accent asking for a reservation (I called him a waiter in the transcript by the way; and Katie's bells are called chimes; which I did to prevent confusion with the Master Bell.). The usher is Jack Angel by the way. The goofs with attitude of course don't have one; so they are both with each other like a gay couple. Baloo and Louie bail inside as the usher sells...for about three seconds and then he calls out Brutus the Bouncer Beefcake. Dognoses?! In TaleSpin?! Maybe those theories were...NAH! Couldn't be...See 8:33 of the DVD. (There are dognoses in TaleSpin, most of them in Destiny Rides Again.) The bouncer runs in stage right off-screen as Baloo and Louie (Whom Baloo calls Louis. Which makes all of Aunt Louise's catcalls on Louie correct and proper.) and they see Katie wearing a blue dress and matching blue heels reading a green menu. Apparently the green menu is put such a way that you don't see her cleavage...her assets if you will. Of course the menu drops and there is nothing at all when Baloo and Louie sit right beside her as she becomes the filling to the biggest sexist sandwich in history. This just makes me want Brutus to MURDER these two now as he enters and he rolls up his sleeves because he is SERIOUS BABEE! He looks like a gorilla which is weird since he looked like a dognose on the back shot earlier when he ran in behind.

Or maybe I'm seeing things because I saw a DOGNOSE in TaleSpin. Which is very rare; trust me on that one. (He seems to be a mandrill furry; but I'll have to recheck the footage again to make sure.) Baloo and Louie smile and suck up to Katie as Katie is stuck between two sexists and a drunk bouncer. I think the drunk bouncer is going to lose out since two sexists is much easier for Katie to handle, see. Katie decides that they are with her and Brutus the Bouncer Beefcake is at least sober enough to get that and he fiddles with his mouth before walking off. Katie had no choice; it was either them; or a drunk bouncer and you ALWAYS LOSE with a DRUNK regardless if he's a sexist or not. (Because alcohol can impair your judgment and it's easier to deal with someone sober than someone who is drunk.) Louie thanks her for saving his life and please punch his lights out, Katie. Katie pushes his arm aside as Baloo grabs the green menu which I'm shocked has NOT been screwed around by Sun Woo yet. Katie blows it off because she want to eat alone as Louie wants approval on his bowtie which is just asking for him to get MURDERED and so Katie does me proud by tightening the bow tie. TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT ONE! Now if she can do that to Baloo; then she's REALLY get into my good graces. Rebecca might actually have extreme competition. (She didn't and that made me sad since Baloo deserves almost as much as Louie. Almost.) Katie grabs the menu as Baloo proclaims that Katie doesn't like them. NO?! REALLY?! It took you THAT long to figure THAT out you sexist?! Louie rubs it in and Katie puts the menu down and puts on a brave face and admits that they did save her from a tough spot earlier and tells them not to press their luck. See; this is why I'm on Katie's side. Baloo and Louie are clearly stalking her despite the fact that they promised that they wouldn't be taken in BY HER. Can you blame her for being a jerk?! The only reason why some people defend Baloo and Louie is because of tree house syndrome. (Sexism, but I get your point either way.) They cannot stand it when a woman upstages them in the very thing they do well at. (Although Katie doesn't have to upstage anyone. Katie is an archaeologist and Baloo's a pilot while Louie is an innkeeper. Those are three completely different roles. Even Rebecca's bumping into cargo shipping was basically to be a supervisor and finacial officer of the place formally known as Baloo's Air Service.)

Katie stands up and walks out as Baloo proclaims that they will grow on her. Katie gleefully blows them off as fungus. I'm amazed Katie can even stand these two without turning into total bitch mode. (I'm amazed how sexist I sounded in 2008.) We head to the Crescent Moon Hotel (Check the crescent moon on top of the building.) as Baloo and Louie continue to stalk her and Baloo keeps trying to prevent from it being so obvious. Baloo tells her to call him Louie and Louie blows Baloo off by telling her to call him next year. Katie goes to her purse, takes out the golden key and unlocks her door as Baloo and Louie admit that they have a hotel room across the hall. That officially breaks the promise right there nearly ten minutes in. (Which is eight minutes not breaking it which is astounding. That's like almost 75% of a Kick Buttowski episode on average.) We knew it would happen soon enough. Baloo and Louie try to be peeping toms as Katie walks into her room and then she slams the door right in their faces. HAHA! I so love this Katie Dodd. She sounds so nice; but her actions are so strong. Speak softly; and carry a nuclear bomb. Baloo and Louie just don't get that she is so NOT INTO THEM AT ALL and tell her to yell at them if she needs anything. Louie says "ditto" and they finally decide to stop stalking her to make it look like they aren't doing anything illegal. But I have the DVD evidence folks; they are so BUSTED!! Baloo blows off Louie's face -- using the mask he bought him -- and Louie blows off his puss in kind. Careful fellows; puss is dangerously close to pussy and you know that rings alarm bells in the PC world. (Oh lord.) Louie then proclaims that they will never hear from her again, then she screams rather good and the goofs both get the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLARITY. Baloo and Louie run towards her room as the segment ends a little more than ten minutes in. Katie is just stealing the show in this one and Klang hasn't even gotten awesome yet. Another great thing about TaleSpin: The one shotters often got over on their own quickly and thus the main characters didn't always have to put an effort to get over. That made the episode quality quite good even when the main characters were sub-par. Contrast that with Rescue Rangers or Darkwing Duck when they depended on the main characters to get over and it ended up seeing more clunkers in between the awesome episodes. (So far, so good; but seeing this again reminds me of how Baloo and Louie are such losers.)

After the commercial break; Baloo and Louie to Katie's room and the room is locked. We know this because Baloo cannot open the door with the door knob. They back up and they insist that the other one go first. Then they both go running like goofs and the door comes crashing down complete with Hanna Barbera crashing sound effect. Now you know you are watching a classic! (A classic Sunwoo episode that is.) Katie screams well as a red robe thug has her and is about to climb up the roof as the goofs realize that it's a red robe guy just like she said. They foolishly run in, the thug takes his cutlass and cuts the edges of their bow ties. Oh; that is not only asking for it; that it just bad fashion criticism! (You are supposed to pull the bowtie out and let them choke to death. That's heelish. This is just silly.) Baloo bails and grabs a wooden chair while Louie goes for the wooden coat rack. Well; at least they are using reasonable weapons instead of wimpy weapons like Teamo Stupidito uses. (Yip. And creating bad prototype characters to be used in slightly better shows. Like Kick Buttowski.) The Red Robe Thug ducks and both goofs nail each other! HOLY CRAP! Those were MANLY shots ON-SCREEN too! I wonder if Toon Disney cut that one out since that would be grounds for some child to mimic; albeit with smaller objects. (They didn't by the way. Too busy editing out guns in a laughable manner and striking matches...) They thank each other for that awesome spot and then knock each other on their backs out cold. (That was the first major cringeful spot of the episode and it's going to get more gruesome later on.) Even the thugs cannot believe that spot was awesome as the big one climbs onto the roof as Katie screams wonderfully again. Also, she's bound again as Baloo and Louie magically wake up. The POWER OF SEXISM strikes again! They pull the rope down and the steel chimney gets pulls down and bops Louie good in the head and everyone falls down with good decent bumps at least. (That's the second sick bump to the head in less than ten seconds.) Katie takes the best bump of them all on her ass of course. Red Robe Thug number one tries to grab Katie; but the goofs with attitude grab him from behind. SEXISM RULEZ~! That leads of course to the FCC FRIENDLY DUSTCLOUD FIGHT OF DOOM~!

Knowing Disney; that means the heel is going to come out on top in this one and in a shocking twist of events; the babyfaces wrap up thew red robe thug like a birthday present. I should have known that only in TaleSpin could the FCC Friendly Dustcloud Fight of Doom actually lead to the babyface comeback. (Normally; when this happens in DTVA, the heels win even though it is supposed to signal the comeback for the babyface and thus is usually wasted.) Baloo proclaims that there is nothing they cannot handle and of course Louie's grip on the thug sucks like crap, he gets away and causally grabs Katie. HAHA! Now that's a heel comeback for ya! Gotta love Mark Zaslove for THAT one! (Yeah; the thugs got their heat back.) Louie grabs onto the rope and tries to cloud surf in the room; but takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the wood frame of a bed. Serves you right for trying to upstage Kit THE MIRACLE WORKER Cloudkicker. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! HEE HEE! (True, because Louie get smashed in the face in the process. Not all that funny. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Sadly, even Dewey is not great at cloudkicking. When Kit tells you that, you really are not good at it.)) Katie protest this outrage as Red Robe Thug number two help him out of from the ceiling (While Louie acts dazed, drunk and sexist all in one. HEE HEE!) and Baloo climbs onto the CHEST OF DEMONS and wants a boost. (Out of nowhere I might add.) Yeah; because it's ALWAYS funny to see the thin one boost the fat one right? So we cut to outside as the SHADOW OF THUGS run on the roofs with their kidnapped lady as Baloo tries to get up protesting that they are getting away. Would have it been easier if you boosted Louie first you fatass?! (Actually no because then Louie has to pull Baloo up. It's actually easier for the small guy to push the fat guy up than it is to pull them up. Simple physics and logic. Doesn't mean it's automatically funny; but it makes sense.) Louie blows him off gleefully just to amuse me on that one; but Louie managed to boost him onto the roof top anyway. Kit should merely be thankful he didn't get THAT spot in later episodes. Baloo grabs Louie up who looks worse for wear.

The thugs run on the roofs as Katie yells at them to put her down. That is NOT exactly a good command to use in the animal kingdom since put down means to put to sleep; or “kill me” basically. (This is my biggest beef with furry characters. If you are half animal; then saying "put me down" is a bad idea because it just encourages the haters because they understand what the phrase really means. It's a dog whistle and it demonizes furry fans. Everytime I hear that; I'm in a cold sweat. Please don't say that phrase. It's anti-furry.) Baloo tries to go down a blue roof ; but he slides down and is hanging on by a thread. Okay; now he's showing off and even Louie thinks he is as he is forced to help him up again. (Louie should be mad because now he has to pull him up; which is harder than pushing him up.) Louie is blowing him off for playing around because they are getting away with his date, see. Baloo sees jealous eyes and blows him off in kind as they help each other while blowing each other off for being jealous as the full moon rises and thugs continues their raising the roof, so to speak. Baloo and Louie meet a dead end with a steel pipe; so Baloo uses the steel pipe to create a bridge and they climb together on top. Of course Baloo is TOO FAT and it snaps as we get the Tarzan spot nearly thirteen minutes in and they go through the window and there is a girl screaming; throwing flower pots and Scooby Doo sequence running all done in black shadows in the background with light. More international objects get involved -- and of course a couple vases shatter -- as a man yells at them to stay out. Don't ask who did their voices; I don't know and I don't care. Louie uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH (You can put an eye out with that thing, you know!) as the red robe thugs escape with three horses and it seems hopeless for our sexist babyfaces. Except for one thing; Baloo has the SeaDuck to overcome them of course as Baloo finally takes a MAN-SIZED shot with the wooden stool (NOT THAT ONE!). HAHA! (Not funny 2009 me; not funny. That's the third shot to the head in this episode alone.) If only Rebecca was this violent to Baloo; he might get completely over the hump; but that would make her the total bitch everyone claims her to be now, right?! (Sod off 2009 Me; we don't need to see more shots to the head.)

Now; we go to a shot outside Grafia as Baloo is flying the SeaDuck and having a blast. Louie then starts to do something that will offend everyone who watches Disney: he's thinking. (Uh-oh; here we go.) See; here's a funny irony that the hardcore have contempt for: They often decry about how Disney continues to reinforce the stereotype that cartoons are just for kids and not for adults; yet the same hardcore reinforce the stereotype that adults believe that adult cartoons must have sex, violence, profanity and other offensive stuff in order to be adult. In other words they believe that adults who like children stuff are either morons or perverts. (Anyone who thinks and says the later should never be employed as a reviewer. It's a sure fire way of losing your audience. The former can get away with it as long as they don't come out and say that they are morons.) Do they have such contempt for irony; or are they projecting themselves into theocrats in some form of revenge against other theocrats?! Are they really that insane?! Or are they truly the freaks that the rest of the social fabric claims them to be?! (It is that they are total freaks who are merely inverting the stereotype which they themselves created. They do not care about being mature adults; they care about infantible adult content where there are no rules and no consequences because it sounds cool and it gets under the guardians' skin, even though they don't realize that the rules are there to make sure that there is some sense in the production. Otherwise, there is no incentive to watch. The only people who care about this are moral guardians and their targets, the artists. Everyone else would either see them all gone or conform to the customer's whims. John K. never learned that lesson in Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party Cartoon (although to be fair, Spike execs did him no favors either.). It boggles my mind when I hear how children's programming is somehow bad for adults and yet the arugments for it are at a child level rather than an adult level. This is one big reason why I do these rants in the first place; because I'm tired of false dichotomies in general.)

On an more interesting note: When will Disney create their version of Grand Theft Auto? Answer: They already did. It's TaleSpin. Why else does it get all the heat that it got in 1990? Why else did Eisner want Jungle Cubs so badly and Jungle Cubs failed so badly that Jymn Magon was turned into freelancer; if you believe in conspiracy theories?! (And someone on Youtube took Grand Theft Auto V and made a TaleSpin theme out of it. Well played sir, well played. I'm glad someone was paying attention.) Louie proclaims that they are a couple of Grade A saps because they broke their word on the deal. Well; that is perfectly true; but you two are sexists. What did you expect would happen? You need marriage. (Not really. Just finding your new family will suffice.) You need kids. (Yes.) You need a family. (Without question.) See why Kit Cloudkicker became SO damn important now?! (Sadly; it wouldn't be until Kit and Baloo were together for a while that cemented the importance of him. Plunder and Lightning was merely just the start.) Baloo does an end around to prove that there is no treasure. Oh boy; that is so contrived and yet so funny only Zaslove could pull it off. That is “star are perfectly aligned” stuff there. Louie is there to keep him company as they fly over the sand. That of course logically leads to the campsite as the wolves are howling, the fire is burning and badass Kaa is still being a badass with his awesome black shadow. He tells his men to rejoice because at dawn they shall realize their dreams. This sounds exactly like Plunder and Lightning part one; except there is no Kit Cloudkicker surprise to save them; I assure ye. (However; this episode probably occurred in storyline before Plunder and Lightning. Still, no surprise forthcoming since they have basically killed the suspense of that with Katie's flashback.) He acts all evil with his evil presence and we pan down to the bonfire as everyone cheers. Badass Kaa has the stolen bells of course as he proclaims that he'll find the lost city of Tinabula and find the weapon and become rich of course. I love heels who don't screw around. It's find the weapon, kill and get profits! So Don Karnage; Plunder and Lightning like.

Everyone cheers again as badass Kaa demands that they bring out Katie for him to see and two of the biggest red robe thugs walk into the yellow tent and force Katie Dodd out as she struggles and protests this entire outrage. (So much so that there was apparently a scene snipped out because when she came out of the tent, she had nothing on her wrists. When she is face to face with Klang, she has chain handcuffs on her wrist. What?!) She stops struggling the moment she sees the stolen bells through and gasps at the horror. She proclaims that they are hers and Kaa blows her off because she's being a jerk. Well; in the context of him he does have a point since he has acted like a gentlemen. It's the thugs that have been acting like pigs. He reveals himself as Thaddeus E. Klang which I'm sure surprised everyone since a lot of people thought this would be Kaa's debut. Thaddeus is actually voiced by a famous actor known as Tim Curry. In so much that he gets some of the weirdest roles (The Rocky Horror Picture Show), some of the worst roles (Congo; where he was nominated for a Razzie; awarded for the worst of the worst in movies.) and he also got movies that got the wrong kind of heat (As in “I am going to kill you and blow your house down” type of heat; as Thurman Rice in the movie Kinsey.). For easier to spell purposes; we will call him Klang. Besides; the characters call him Klang anyway so there you go. Klang is a finder of lost antiquities and Katie blows him off and wants to call him a lying thief instead. (Which he is.) Klang grabs her chains (Why chain her when she wasn't wearing them on her wrist beforehand?) and calls her sharp tongue out and he snaps the chains of bondage (okay; that's why he chained her wrists like that! Uh huh! (TaleSpin: We pay off spots even when there is no setup because the setup was cut out or never existed.)) . He basically tells her to help her find the golden weapon or he'll eat her with his metal overbite more or less. With that metal jaw, I would do exactly what he says and I'm a 32 year old male. Yeah; I am that big of a coward; so shoot me. Katie blows him off because she is the only one who can read the ancient writing. Hurt her and he's out of luck.

Klang laughs at that one (Because Al Khan is rooting for him now making him a sexist and a person who hates reading.) as people don't frighten her; but his pets will as the red robe thugs bring out the LID OF HELL (Pandora's box basically.), she opens it and screams badly. There is a lot of buzzing going on as the RED EYES OF DOOM stare back at her. I think she is seriously screwed now, folks. We go back to a far shot of the SeaDuck coming into view with a full moon rising as Louie points out that they are close to the campsite and indeed they are on the air shot. Baloo swings the stick around for a closer peak. We cut to the binoculars from Klang as he notices the goofs with attitude coming to save the kidnapped lady as Katie calls them lovable lunks. Well; BS&P cannot let her call them sexists so lunks will have to do on short notice. (Believe it or not; if they had allowed her to say that, it would come off as a massive oxymoron.) Klang calls them foolish lunks which is a lot more accurate methinks and they will pay painfully as he orders the thugs to use the catapults. The SeaDuck does a hyperbole to scatter the thugs, then flies over and then flies forward as Baloo tells Louie to find Katie. However; the thugs are ready for them as they fire the catapult and of course it's the GOLDEN BEETLES OF DEATH, DUH! The beetles attach to the SeaDuck as Louie wonders why the bombs don't go boom as the beetles start eating the metal of the SeaDuck. Louie wonders if they can shake them off as Baloo tries the dive in the sand trick; but they are like ticks on a dog. That's only the second time they used that reference in this series. Also, this one makes even better sense than the one in Plunder and Lightning. One of the beetles eats through to the cockpit and Louie tries the hook; but the beetle eats the hook. OUCH! That is one metal stomach. Dopefish and Scarabs: separated at birth. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHOMP! OUCH! Ummm.... (Wow; somehow I still return JudgeSpear's MUGEN career where Homer got killed in five seconds in the best finish ever.) Some wood gets spit out as Louie proclaims that they are in trouble as the SeaDuck takes a dive and a beetle apparently gets into the wiring off-screen (Check the sizzling sound. I smell first run edit made here.) as the segment ends sixteen minutes in.

After the commercial break; we see the Seaduck take a dive and then take some really good bumps onto the sand as the bugs get shook off pretty easily. Well; there's ONE way to get them off at least. Then we get to my favorite part as the red robe thugs (with sword in hand) arrive at the plane and one of them speaks a foreign language and on the bottom of the screen in neon green it says: "Search the plane". Okay; that is hilariously bad that I'm SHOCKED subbers didn't steal that afterwards. (I have a bad feeling that Disney execs wanted the subtitles to be neon green because of some study that says that kids will change the channel if there isn't enough neon green colors in the show. If you wonder why shows these days are so colorful that it's difficult to see what is going on because the colors they use make it too bright to make out what is going on, my conspiracy theory is as believable as they come.) Funny how this guy is speaking Japanese when we heard them speaking English earlier in the episode. I'd call that logic break number two for the episode; but that would imply a goof; but this is too intentional to be one. (Or maybe they have learned multiple languages from Klang? Just because Don Karnage had stupid henchmen doesn't mean everyone must follow his example.) The thug goes inside; but no one is inside and he speaks in a foreign tongue. Okay; this is getting silly as we see two red robe thugs standing right there near a sand dune right in perfect position for Louie and Baloo to pop up and grab them. Oh wait...and that's exactly what happens. At least THAT sword looks badass; which shows that BS&P and creative are still in conflict at this point. (They won't be anymore after Deadly Force until recently.) More neon green subbing (This...is...hilarious...) as the red robe thugs come out and see Baloo and Louie dressed up as them -- after a FCC FRIENDLY DUSTCLOUD FIGHT OF DOOM -- and of course they do not suspect a thing, DUH! He tells them to follow him (In his native tongue no less complete with subtitles.) and Baloo and Louie understand him! This is just too funny as Baloo and Louie follow the beetles and thugs. The goofs with attitude realize that Katie's story is panning out to be right and maybe the gold is correct too.

However; Baloo doesn't want to hear about this; unless they agree to split it 60-40. Louie blows him off and Baloo proclaims that it's his plane. Baloo does have a point and he needs the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH for the damages those beetles caused so Louie is sunk on this one. More petty insults that the thugs gleefully ignore which indicates that they are onto these goofs and they are just lambs waiting to be slaughtered now. We logically return to the campsite as the thugs are circled at the campfire (Oh yeah; this isn't a cult in the very least, no siree Mark.) Baloo and Louie look around as Louie asks what the scam is. Baloo proclaims that Katie is in the yellow tent. We know this because there are two robe thugs guarding it on the far shot. Louie bails because he wants to free her and get the girl like the sexist that he is; but Baloo stops him by grabbing him. Why? So he can screw him out of the date see...ERRR...I mean settle this like gentlemen see. Baloo brings out his PENNY OF TRICKS and Louie calls heads. Baloo flips and it lands on tails and Louie loses; DUH! Baloo bails stage right as Louie grabs the coin and of course it's tails on BOTH SIDES. I see Edgar from Final Fantasy VI stole THAT one. (The RPG fans will deny it of course because they don't watch cartoons since cartoons are childish see. As if playing a game isn't. That is myopia.) We logically go to a far shot of the campfire as the thugs are still in a circle at the campfire and then they hear something coming in and of course it's Louie coming in dressed up as an exotic dancer. Complete with coconut bra and skirt to boot! What is this?! A contest to see how absurd you can be at cross dressing?! Louie has a pink towel as well. The strangest thing about this is no matter how much cross dressing Baloo and Louie do; they are still more man then most the male characters in DTVA and all of live action Disney males from 1996 onwards inclusive. (You say that if it's a good thing 2009 me?!)The thugs buy it hook, link and sinker as Louie seduces them big time. Well; it doesn't take much to amuse them I guess as Klang heads out of the stripe tent (Which negates his badass image somewhat; smooth move there BS&P!) to deal with the cross dressing Louie as Baloo break into the tent from behind (I guess the yellow one was a ruse! Good thinking there Klang; just wasn't enough.) as we see Katie tied up and she is all happy to see him.

Baloo unties her and Katie hugs him for that one as Baloo thinks this is enough for the date as he blushes. Only in your blubbly sexist world Pop-A-Bear. Baloo wants to leave; but Katie goes to the table and they grab the bells since if Klang gets them no one is safe. But without Katie; Klang cannot open the city. Can't he?! (Okay; the question that was asked was why Klang couldn't just open the city earlier without Katie. Well; here's the thing: Klang is a snake so his hearing is much different from mammals. So it makes sense as a heel to kidnap Katie Dodd because the musical tones in the city would sound different in Klang's ears. I'm amazed that Mark Zaslove knew this because I sure didn't. So Katie isn't such a McGruffin after all.) We then return to the campfire and Louie is wrapping them all up on Klang literally and then it's the whirlwind spot to annoy me. The thugs do a babyface pop on THAT one as Baloo and Katie walk out of the tent and Louie sees this as the end of the show as he uses the PINK RIBBON OF DOOM and they have a face to face talk while Katie and Baloo walk away from the crowd to practice the fine art of not being seen....and naturally the McGruffin Katie Dodd trips and falls which is enough to blow their cover, DUH! Baloo tells Klang not to mind the party poopers (EWWWW!) as Louie is blown and he kisses Klang's metal mouth. Thank goodness he's not at the North Pole; or there would be hilarity out the ying-yang coming. Louie bails stage left as Klang yells at his thugs to GET HIM THOSE BELLS~! (Still better than saying "Give me the bird" though...) The thugs shout of course as we head into the desert night as the babyfaces run and they have no Krackpotkin which indicates that they will be captured within the next thirty seconds or so. So Baloo and Louie trade insults again as Baloo mentions the hug which Louie blows off. So the catapults are used and Katie takes one of the sickest bumps I have ever seen a female take in DTVA right in the back of the head with a beetle. HOLY CRAP! What kind of pig is Mark Zaslove to do that to such a character? Louie and Baloo take wimpy shots compared to hers (decent; but still...). Katie goes face down as does Louie. Baloo thanks mother for finding his bowling ball before finally getting knocked out as well. Man; Sun Woo is just nailing the spots well today. (Mark Zaslove isn't being a sexist pig in this spot; it's just that I'm getting tired of shots to the head because it just encourages kids to do the same and blows to the head. Five years later and in Mighty Ducks, Malory is missing kicks to the face by a least a foot.)

We fade to black and return as dawn arises as the shadows go away to reveal the ruins of the lost city of Tinabula once again in a dramatic spot. No wonder Feature is so pissed off. They are showing good enough mini movies on free television for goodness sakes. We get a shot of the SeaDuck which is damaged and then an air shot of Baloo and Louie tied down to the sand as we zoom down and they slowly wake up. They want the number of that bug and the whereabouts of Katie as then they see the bells as Klang appears with them. She is with them once again, DUH! We then go to the side shot as Katie is protesting this outrage while calling them heartless creeps as the red robe thugs have her. Okay; she's moving up in the threat list at least. Klang explains that the bells can cause the lost city of Tinabula to appear out of a storm. And they get to witness it firsthand before they get slashed to pieces more or less as Baloo blows him off hoping that the jaw rust. That was incredibly lame Baloo and Klang is PISSED as he goes to the cliff and using a white hammer; he hits the third bell on the far right as Katie continues to protest that those are her bells. Man; Katie, I think you should be more worried about what he might do with that weapon he was trying to find. (I hate to say this; but this was a really stupid line by Katie. Even if Katie doesn't care about Baloo and Louie; at least care enough that the rest of the world is in trouble if Klang succeeds. Proccession of the bells is the least of your worries now. Really dumb line there.) The beetle statues at the entrance to the ruins turn 90 degrees and face each other on cue as Baloo and Louie have that look of “We are so fucked.”. The red robe thugs cheer for death which proves that they are brainwashed. Klang rings the same bell again, the statues now face backwards and open their wings as Klang is loving this so much. Klang then goes over to Katie as she yells at him for leaving them out there to get slaughtered by the cutting wind and Klang casually nails the front bell just to be a dick. (And that's an understatement in so many ways 2009 me! You and your unintentional double-entrandes.) Now my memories are shot as you know; but I think the first run episode had a very different finish in that the finish was Klang forcing Katie to reluctantly tap the front bell to trigger the event as one final insult towards Baloo and Louie. Apparently; feminist groups got outraged and the finish was changed to having Klang tap the bell outright.

Personally; I like the finish they ultimately decided on better because the original finish just makes Katie look weak. Of course; this is from my original memories and they are shot; so take this with a barrel of salt. (Does anyone have the first run television version of this episode? If so; can anyone verify what happens in this scene. Because if there is evidence that the VHS version is different from the DVD version and several areas of this episode certainly have evidence of changes then I can add those to the TaleSpin Edits list and then have everyone complaining to Disney again like we did for Plunder and Lightning. I doubt anything would be done though.) The beetle statue start flapping their wings like bird men and that creates the TORNADO FROM HELL as Baloo proclaims that if there is a next time; never get involved in any treasure hunts again. Louie agrees, if there is a next time. At this rate; not bloody likely. The cutting winds force the ropes to break and Baloo and Louie fly into the TORNADO FROM HELL and they spin into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!) along with the SeaDuck we fade to black to end Act I at 21:11. The shorten time indicates to me that the first run episode had a different finish but was changed on the second run. I should note that other than The Idol Rich and Her Chance to Dream on VHS; I have zero first run episodes (And there is no assurances that the VHS tape is a first run episode.). Anyhow; I'm amazed that Sunwoo Animation was dead on in this episode with only one logic break at the beginning of the episode. (Actually; it was sloppier than this with a few minor logic breaks and some of the usual Sunwoo-ish quirks.) And I actually enjoyed this really well despite no Kit Cloudkicker since Katie Dodd and Klang were the ones that were getting over on their own and that was despite Baloo and Louie whoring themselves over Katie for a good six minutes or so. But then again; Baloo and Louie are decent characters compared to Drake and Monty; so you can understand why it's a lot harder to mock them now.

Act II: As a City Rises and Falls from the Sands of Hell!

We continue this one with the sand tornado spiraling out of control as we recycle Baloo and Louie going through the tornado (along with the SeaDuck) and then Baloo grabs a shovel and tries to dig his way out; but there is sand in his kisser. Well; that certainly bought him no peace; that's for sure. So Baloo yells at Louie to head for the SeaDuck and Louie sells by hanging onto the tail section of the plane. So we cut back to a far shot of the city and then a cliff shot as Katie puts on her black glasses (just now?!) and now she apparently is siding with Louie on the date and calls out Klang as an animal. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. (Well; if she called him a snake; that would kill the suspense for the finish. You got to keep at least one surprise under wraps throughout the episode; or everyone will see it coming and shrug.) Katie then beats on Klang's chest and he sells it like a maniac which indicates that Katie and Molly Cunningham must have met somewhere. AHHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... The thugs stop her before anymore silliness occurs and we cut back to Baloo spiraling around as he goes underneath the belly of the SeaDuck and opens the door which of course is the trash bin. Okay folks; this is truly before Plunder and Lightning because do you think Rebecca would allow THAT much junk in the trunk. AHHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm.... (Why did you hit 2008 me? He was pointing out the garbage inside the SeaDuck, so the analogy was totally accurate. And of course she isn't going to allow that junk in the trunk.) Baloo takes some weak shots (first blown spots by Sun Woo); but the wind power is enough to blow Baloo back; so Louie has to grab him by the ankle again. Oh man; Louie is carrying Baloo's fat ass in more ways than one here. The two goofs slowly climb into the SeaDuck cockpit (with Baloo having to grab Louie before he blows away again) and they strap in. Apparently; Louie was sandblasting his teeth as he shows those pearly whites. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Louie. Baloo tells him to cross his toes and Louie offers his eyes instead as Baloo starts the engines. The SeaDuck tries to fly out of the tornado; but the sand tornado keeps it's ground as it blows northwest and in it's wake the lost city of Tinabula reveals itself in full bloom fully intact.

That takes some logical gymnastics to make that work; but whatever. We don't watch cartoons for science pointers anyway. (Yeah; apparently, anthromorphic creatures are not enough to convince anyone these days that this is a cartoon.) Klang declares victory as the bells did unbury it. Unbury is NOT a proper work Klang; Openoffice does not see it as such. (Even though in various dictionaries, Unbury is a real word meaning removing something from the ground. Stop depending on Openoffice for your vocalubary 2008 me.) Katie naturally blows him off because they are HER bells see while taking the glasses off. Klang then tells the three red robe thugs to go and the thugs with spears run like the wind down the desert dunes. It's a easterly wind of course and the smallest one trips; the medium one bowls over and his cape gets impaled by the rock spikes. That is a BS&P decision if I ever saw one guys. Weak bumps too. Klang has Katie with him as the medium thug's cape rips and he falls down with a really weak bump onto his allies. Man; Sun Woo has really gone to crap with the bumps now. Klang asks what devilry is this. BS&P RULEZ Klang; that's what! AHHAHAHAHAHA! He then demands that Katie open the spikes or else basically as we logically return to the SeaDuck as it finally flies out of the TORNADO FROM HELL and Baloo cheers for victory on that one... for about three seconds as the SeaDuck sputters and dies as it slides and pops right into the slides like a puck on a skating rink. Another really weak bump from Sun Woo which means that BS&P is starting to really clamp down on the bumps now. You knew this would occur. DAMN YOU MICHAEL EISNER! Baloo states that Louie can open his eyes now which is pointless since this they are the DUO WITH NO HOPE after all. We return to the SPIKE GATE OF BELLS as Klang continues to hound Katie on this gate and she explains that the whole city is based on tones, notes and harmonics as the medium build red-robe thug is getting a little too excited on the use of that spear for my liking if you catch my drift here. Katie grabs the spear and red robe thug doesn't want her to have it; but Klang orders him to let her have it.

Katie grabs the spear and then points it at the thug to continue to show how strong of a woman she is despite being a total McGruffin (Nope; because without her, Klang couldn't succeed in getting the tones right to access the weapon because his hearing is different from mammals. She's not a McGruffin.), and then whacks the middle bell on the door, that is enough to cause the spikes to finally come down and open the gate. Katie of course gets cocky, the medium red robe thug steals the spear back from her and now Klang wants her to go first. She's strong; but probably a wee bit too emotional to be smarter if you catch my drift here. Katie walks in first along with Klang and his thugs as Katie cannot believe the dramatic music going on right now (She wasn't talking about the music as good as it is; she was talking about the city.). Klang explains that there is a room holding a weapon that will make the world his for the taking. He then does me proud by doing the one thing Don Karnage couldn't do: Get his perverted, dirty paws on a female's hips while threatening her life more or less. It may be Mr. Fat's gimmick; but Klang is at least threatening enough to MURDER Mr. Fat so I think Mr. Fat might want to reconsider his attitude there. Klang throws her forward as we logically go back to the SANDBOX FROM HELL as Baloo and Louie walk in the sandbox, in the hot sun, doing all the usual “I'm going to die if I don't find the lost city soon” spots. Well; Louie is doing that at least as we see Baloo sitting on a wooden bench near the CACTUS JACK OF DOOM. Man; these mirages seem more real in TaleSpin than in most cartoons even when Baloo is doing nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING! Louie goes over, demands answers, Baloo proclaims that he's waiting for the 2:25 bus and Louie claps his hands because it's a mirage, see. Of course they change into a rock and another CACTUS JACK OF DOOM which is funny considering there was already ONE in the scene on the far shot. HAHA! Nice attention to detail there. Baloo is so out of it as he proclaims that he has nothing to do with the bus token that HE BOUGHT in his hands and then he walks away stage left. SCORE! Louie cannot believe how suckered he was in that one. I cannot believe it either. (Actually; Baloo must have bought the bus token in Cape Suzette and just remembered it now. That makes sense at least.)

More hot desert spots as the DUO WITH NO HOPE sits back to back wishing they had made it back to Ghafia. Wait a minute Disney Captions; I thought you originally said it was Grafia? Whatever. We logically head back to Tinabula before that got way too boring as Klang, Katie and the thugs walk further into the city. They walk for a while and then Katie reaches the middle of the city which contains a pillar which underneath contains a series of nine wind chimes. I swear to god that the writers think out their stories way too much during this time; which is probably why we saw creative crushed the way it did in 1994 onwards. (Because details do not equal profit, of course.) Klang demands answers to this and Katie is not sure if this is the weapon house; and Klang gets more upset by the second because it has to be. Katie asks Klang if he can sing and Klang gets PISSED on that one. Katie is SERIOUS about this one because a cord or sound or note opens it according to the walls of knowledge and her glasses. Katie claims that according to the scripture that it is probably a “B” note that opens it. Klang orders medium red robe thug to sing it. Something tells me this guy became Mad Dog because he walks over; sings the B note and then gets a block squashed on his body. Sadly; the bump was weak, albeit not as weak as some of the others that he was taking earlier. Klang blows him off because it's B; not B flat. HAHA! Yeap; that guy is Mad Dog as he is flat as a pancake and being helped by the fat guy (who may or may not be Dumptruck) and the small guy (Who may or may not be Kit Cloudkicker dressed up as one. I had a fanfic planned for this actually; but of course the website got retired so there you go.) as Klang demands that Katie do it. Katie sings the B note and the top of the pillars rises into the air and it reveals the GONG OF DEATH! Okay; this is a million times different than a laser beam and makes just as much sense. Katie and Klang climb up the stairs as Klang is giddy to see the weapon that can destroy anything with sound waves. Klang, of course wants to test it so he goes over beside the weapon and pulls the lever (JESUS~!) and it turns around 180 degrees towards a pile of sand. Klang then pulls back on the log and bangs on the gong which causes the sound waves to whip up a lot of sand.

We logically return to Baloo and Louie crawling on the sand acting like losers. Baloo believes that he is done and then the SAND WAVE OF DEATH forces him to think otherwise as they are running again. They get caught into the wave and Louie is using Baloo as a surfboard and it's Cowabunga again. I swear to god that the Disney writers are extremely jealous of TMNT; even in this show! Thankfully; TaleSpin did the least mocking of TMNT and got better ratings because of it because they forge the show as being themselves and laughing at themselves instead of being hardcore and being offended at TMNT's success. (Only Cowabunga has been around since 1954 with Gumby. I never got the hatred of pop culture references because every show has them. The reason no one notices the pop-culture jokes in TaleSpin is because the storyline is in 1937 and therefore the references are in eras where anyone born after 1937 is unlikely to get. The problem with these jokes is not that they exist, it's because most of the time, they simply do it for the sake of doing it without any bearing to the storyline. It's Family Guy syndrome basically.) Naturally, Ghafia (or Grafia) get swamped by the SAND WAVE OF DOOM as a bulldog in a trench coat tries to use his blue umbrella to shield himself; but no dice. Yeah; that was a waste as no real damage was done except some sand blasting as Klang proclaims that the weapon works. (Actually; some damage was done and it was a really neat visual on Sunwoo's part; so Klang does have something.) Sadly; Klang doesn't notice that Katie is sliding down the other way down onto the bell chimes which of course blows her cover. Klang orders his red robe thugs to stop her, DUH! They go after her (And my DVD master suffers from massive slowdown for whatever reason; but a refresh stop and play ended that easily.) and Katie hides behind a column to foil that plan. Then she makes the fatal error of going back into the city and Klang stops right in front of her. HEE HEE! Oh; when is she going to learn that Klang is smarter than her? Anyhow; we return to Grafia as Baloo and Louie shake the sand off of them from their wild sand wave ride. They still wonder if they brought a ticket for the roller coaster. Maybe that was the bus token you brought earlier in the episode Pop-A-Bear.

Louie doesn't care and it's time to go to the police which if anyone knows from Bullethead Baloo is going to fail miserably. We go inside the police headquarters as a dog police officer -- with some nasty teeth, mind you -- and an English police hat is trying to get their story straight on all of this “nonsense” and Baloo sells it as real. Of course he asks what are they going to do about it. I betcha they kick both Baloo and Louie out of the police station and laugh in their faces. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good. Of course the bump is ultra weak. Louie protests this outrage as the sarge and officer blow them off for being blokes and loopy like Katie. Okay; that is overkill if you ask me. You had me at blokes there pal. The sarge fury is wearing all white with the brown English helmet. The dog officer voice is the late Henry Polic II whom passed away in 2013. Then there is a buzzing sound as a beetle going flying into the air and it crashes into the office, the police officers are yelling and fighting with it in the window complete with black shadows. Baloo and Louie go to the office door and out comes the police officer with a note admitting that there is some truth to their story. Baloo grabs the note and Sun Woo really screws up here with the background since they should be outside.Oh wait a minute; they are fighting with the beetle OUTSIDE while the officer is inside exchanging notes. It makes more sense since they probably got the thing outside and then Baloo and Louie got inside and the police went inside with them. So Sun Woo doesn't screw up with the logic. (It's better than that. What happened was: The beetle got into the lobby and then it got into one of the offices inside the building because Baloo and Louie were in the office again after the buzzing sounds and the crash. Then the chief run out of the office to give them the ransom note. Sunwoo got this so right, it's make me so wrong. (2020 Gregory Weagle Says: Maybe Sunwoo deserves better props than it originally got in that era. My streak of pointing out logic breaks when they are around is horrible.)) Klang demands ten million guilders or else he'll shake the city to dust. He crumbles the note and proclaims that they can handle it because they got tanks and guns see.

You know this is before Plunder and Lightning because you would think that after the Lightning Gun that these chaps would not take Klang so lightly like that. We logically see a bunch of tanks and gun riding on the sand towards the found city of Tinabula as Klang has his binoculars on them like a peeping tom. He calls them fools for ignoring his ransom note and goes to the wooden log as we head to Baloo on top of the left engine prop. Louie proclaims that they must get there before the tanks do. Baloo ponders what would WildCat do? Of course; Baloo finds the mallet and just bangs on the engine prop. HAHA! Sand comes out and Louie get buried good. A few years ago; this would have been rib tickling funny, but thanks to Drake and Monty, it's much harder to mock these guys now. Baloo calls this an instant sand-cototomy as Louie is hardly impressed by Baloo's burying. It's going to take a lot more than that to bury a TaleSpin character. Canceling the show seconds after it was approved would be a mighty fine start as the engines start and roar like lions. The SeaDuck flies towards the city as the tank stop right in the proper place to be MURDERED by the weapon (of course) and the Sarge (Henry Polic II, Frank Welker or Jack Angel depending on what mood I was in when I was doing this rant.) cuts A You Cannot Do That On Television Promo in which Klang aims his wooden log and stops the execution with the GONG OF DEATH. The SOUND WAVE OF DOOM aims at the sand below the cliff, then the sand wraps upward around like a wave and swamps the wave in wonderful slow motion. Man; that takes some logical gymnastics for that spot to work. The SeaDuck flies towards the city and it gets swamped by the sand wave and it goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHA!) and that ends the segment a little over thirty one minutes in. Everything was perfect until BS&P started wussing out on the bumps. (No, it's not perfect even then. Watching this again and doing the transcripts of it clearly make it feel like it's overrated in spite of the accurancy of the previous re-rant.)

After the commercial break; we see Klang on the binoculars chuckling over the SeaDuck flying towards him with one working prop engine as the SeaDuck slide down and actually enters the city in one piece much to Klang's disgust. So it's time to unleash the beetles again. Okay; this might work out since Baloo and Louie had such a hard time with them on the first go around. Baloo walks out causally thinking he's safe, Louie pushes him out and blows him off stating that his head feels like a maraca. Baloo is awed by Katie's city; but they just want to find the girl and scram. After all; Baloo claims that Katie misses her something fierce and Louie blows that off because no one is listening, see. I agree with that one since no one is HERE to listen nor care anyway. (Why can't these morons can the womanizing attitude and care about getting out of this mess alive?) Then the red robe thugs get involved (with spears of course) and the goofs bail and run like the wind in a north east direction. It's the same three body types (Mad Dog, Dumptruck, Gibber/Kit body types) as they go past a large bell which of course; Baloo and Louie are hiding underneath and behind on top in that order. Baloo calls that easy and of course the beetle slowly buzzes in from the southwest to screw him over. HAHA! Baloo then does the stupid thing by hiding inside the bell instead of leaving the bell, the beetle goes inside and absolutely MURDERS Baloo inside as Baloo screams for a fly swatter and help. Good luck Pop-A-Bear. Even metal doesn't stop this bug's lust for death. Louie rings the bell with the BELL RINGER OF DOOM and Baloo pops out as the beetle pops out on it's back dead as a doornail and then gets squashed by a MAN-SIZED bump by the bell. About damn time BS&P lighten up on the bump clamp down. If only that they would stay away forever; but that would go completely against Eisner's demographics values see. (Nowadays, they should clamp down on the shots to the head because they aren't funny anymore.) Baloo thanks him and Louie tells him not to because the ARMY OF BEETLES come down the hill and they aren't fans of music! More like fans of death. AHHAHAHAHAHA! CHOMP! OUCH! Ummmm... Baloo and Louie run stage left complete with Hanna Barbera looping and running sound effect for real.

We head to a grate below the top of the temple as Klang is gloating at Katie who is the prisoner inside because he cannot have her running off because she's the one who gave him the city. Katie blows him off because it's merely an archaeological treasure and not a weapon for abuse. I added the "not a weapon for abuse" part. Klang blows her off on all it's secrets because there is only one secret which is the weapon itself. The weapon means unstoppable power. Why didn't Don Karnage and Klang ever team up I wonder? Of course, Katie gets too strong woman for her own good and reveals that there is a Master Bell somewhere before covering her mouth. It must be problematic for her to act like a feminist in this world. (As if Feminine Air didn't demonstrate that? God; you are dense 2009 Me!) Klang wants to know about this; but before he can torment her; here comes Pop-A-Bear as he invokes the wooden log and Klang goes flying away from the top of the pillar. Good bumps from both of them actually as BS&P is being tied up and gagged like Katie earlier on I see. (Bad choice of words there 2009 Me! Also, another stupid shot to the face by this show in this episode alone.) Klang takes about three good bumps down the stairs as Baloo notices Katie in the jail cell as Katie is happy to see them. Louie tries to open it with his bare hands; but no dice as Katie tells them that a musical note opens the cell door. So Louie sings the most absurd song he can think of and of course that opens the jail cell. Then again; Jim Cummings can sing, so that explains why it actually opens. No wonder the Prima Estate had such a field day with Disney in their lawsuit. (Oh boy; I made the big mistake of trying to actually write what Louie was singing instead of just saying that he's humming a scat song as part of the transcript! The results were not pretty to say the least.) Baloo calls him a show off as Louie grabs Katie from the cell and she hugs him which means Baloo's hug from earlier really didn't mean a thing after all. Baloo pulls off the Gruffi pose on that one; but the BEETLE FANS OF DEATH are coming closer as Klang is still having problems getting up; and the three red robe thugs are coming from the other side.

Baloo chooses the side which of course features the beetles because that is where the SeaDuck is; but Katie stops him. Why?! Because we need to do the ultra-cool finish to stop Klang from destroying the world silly. (And in Baloo's case, save him from the beetles again because he's too dumb to realize that the red robed thugs are the only guys Baloo has been able to outwit so far.) It's called making a good enough story. See the legend states the master bell is the sound that silences all. Too bad it won't shut up Drake Mallard, Katie. After all; nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING shuts up Drake Mallard. (As anyone who has watched Darkwing Duck over the years, it was a golden rule of that show that Darkwing Duck never shuts up. He makes John Cena look like a soft-spoken character in comparison.) Klang gets up and orders them to capture them; but everyone bowls him over as logic break number two of the episode finally commences as the red robe thugs are with the beetles even though they were on the OTHER side of the pillar. 33 minutes in between logic breaks is really awesome. (How is that a logic break 2009 me? There is a path that encircles the temple! Sure, it makes the thugs look stupid, but that's a minor problem.) The chase is on BABEE as Katie, Baloo and Louie slide down and run across the city. They make it to the cliff and then pause for a moment and then jump to the other side easily. More running as Baloo realizes that those beetles can jump too without a catapult as Louie climbs on some wind chimes for fun. More chasing goes on to waste more time as they climb up the steps as they are at the dead end right in front of a giant beetle statue. Louie talks about them sour notes as the GANG OF BEETLE DEATH FANS race up the stairs like an angry mob. Not unlike something Sean Malstrom dreams about with hardcore gamers whenever he writes about having zero respect for the game industry. That actually ends the segment thirty-five minutes in. Man; that was a really short segment; so we have about eight action-packed minutes left in the episode.

After the commercial break; we see the GANG OF BEETLE DEATH FANS continue their slow rise up as Baloo proclaims that he isn't going to play a swan song without a tussle. Too bad Baloo's swan song began with losing the SeaDuck to Rebecca Cunningham. (WHOOSH~!) Louie with him as Katie notices that the beetle statue has three small bells and pull ropes that are conveniently placed high above their heads. Katie yells swan song and yells at Louie to jump and Louie jumps and pulls down the rope which plays the bell and the stairs turn into a trapdoor. (With the puller changing from rope to white cloth in between shots) Don't you just hate it when THAT happens?! The henchmen heels slide down the trapdoor stairs easily and then down the trapdoor down onto the bottom floor complete with Warner Brothers spot and Hanna Barbera looping and sound effects. Man; Disney Television Animation spared no expense in using every foley trick in the book for this series. (Sam Horta Editorial is doing the sound editing in this episode by the way.) Katie wonders how this city could find a place big enough to put a bell big enough to silence them all so to speak and Baloo deduces that it is in this very tower right behind them. Katie deduces that Baloo is right and I facepalm on that one because that was too obvious even for me. Baloo pulls the third bell on the right and the entire staircase comes crumbling down causing the heroes to grab onto the middle beetle bell holder and Baloo pushes on it harshly. Then some more which causes Baloo to lose his grip and they free fall as a stone trapdoor opens below and they get swallowed up and slide in safe with MAN-SIZED bump right into the BIG BELL OF DOOM off-screen. Katie looks up and sees the master bell and then hugs Baloo calling him a genius as Baloo calls it two; thus the first hug DOES mean something. HAHA! Louie does the Gruffi pose on THAT one. (Remember that one for later because there is a really dumb moment for the writer here.) Katie goes over to the bell and does the double ax-handle to it to try to get it to start; but no dice. Katie reads the inscriptions and her Lezard to English indicates that the note falls from above. Baloo sees it as the beetle clapper from above the bell causes it to work.

Baloo believes that there is a lever (JESUS~!) on top of the bell and climbs up the spike wall; but Louie stops him because Baloo is trying to play hero again like the greedy fat ass that he is. Louie pulls him down by the ankles and he drops like a bad habit with a decent bump. HEE HEE! The power of anger makes strength so much easier as Baloo proclaims that they should flip for it like gentlemen. Louie agrees; but they will use HIS coin this time. I wouldn't do that if I were you Pop-A-Bear. You know how TaleSpin writers just LOVE to make the joke and pay it off. Louie of course calls heads and of course he wins. Baloo checks the coin as Louie climbs up and it's a double sided heads coin with the monkey head blowing him off. I check the DVD. Damn; I'm good. Or it's the old: Make the joke and pay it off. You have no one but yourself to blame for that one Pop-A-Bear. (Yeah, that's why it's so funny. I'm shocked Sabin didn't try that trick with Edgar.) Louie gleefully blows him off on that and reminds him that he's the better pilot anyway..so go fly. Baloo realizes that he's right for a change. Louie?! Grows a brain?! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?! Oh yeah; in TaleSpin, about 1:1 odds. I forgot; otherwise the show would have no heat with the hardcore see. (You know how stupid this was for Klang? It's basically Baloo flying a half-disabled SeaDuck and Louie has to climb up and do absolutely nothing but stand there and wait for Klang to be stupid enough to use his sand wave weapon and hit the big target that everyone can clearly see even at a distance. Now granted, the heel nine times out of ten has to look stupid in the end; but there is a degree of stupidity you can allow before it becomes so stupid that it buries the heel. Don Karnage most of the time rarely gets buried himself, it's usually caused by his goons or by something the babyfaces do. Here; Louie does nothing and wins. This is like that meme with Luigi in Mario Party where Luigi is beating high level AI by doing absolutely nothing. It's quite a sight to watch. It also makes the programmers look silly as well.) Louie climbs up the bell commenting on working without a net which is actually quite true in these situations.

It's things like this that make today's Disney look more and more wimpy the more I see it. Starting with Quack Pack in 1996 for example. (Actually; the new Disney has been really decent and I can accept a lot of the annoying spots since they at least put some thought into them instead of using the "it's kids, who cares" excuse.) So while we ponder the wimps of the new Disney (please don't ponder that, it wastes too much time.); we march on as Katie and Baloo run down the steps as Baloo runs past the cave and Katie notices something inside the cave and tells Baloo to wait. Why? Because her bells are in there. Sure enough; after a cool seduction shot of Katie's face; (but ultimately pointless) there are the bells sitting there in all their glory in the middle of the bell room. Baloo comes over and tells her to forget them and let's get out of here. I disagree with him in this case because Klang can simply use the bells to recreate the city on command if he wishes too and then the Master Bell will mean nothing. These bells are safer in her hands than in Klang's; so the storyline logic with her doing this makes sense regardless of the amount of danger this WILL put her in as a McGruffin. (Once again, she is not a McGruffin. She was needed because Klang's hearing is different from a mammals since he's a snake. That said; yeah, makes perfect sense.) Also, she needs to prove that the place exists anyway so there you go. Katie and Baloo run in to get the bells as Katie ponders why they are there and I betcha Klang comes in with his pistol. Damn; I'm good as Klang comes in with his packed heat proclaiming that they will never leave this place alive. It's always great when the heels carry reasonable weapons and make 4Kids look like a bunch of pussies. (That was insulting 2008 me! Even 4Kids isn't worth causing splash damage at this point. On the note it's now fifteen for twenty episodes of the guns being pulled out as of this writing.) Baloo talks about places; including Fist City and he invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH which Klang blocks with his metal arm. OUCH! That is going to break some bones in real life and that is going to smart even in a cartoon. Good selling from Baloo too as Klang has had enough comedy.

Eisner just called and he canceled this show on the account that it didn't have enough of it. (Wow; even I back in 2009 was saying that Eisner believed in junk science. That's just cold.) Why else did DARKWING..DUCK get green lighted?! Oh; I'm sorry, I shouldn't be doing these conspiracy theories again as Baloo ducks on Katie's cue. Katie takes the bells and MURDERS Klang with a MAN-SIZED bump thus paying him back for whacking her in the back of the head with a beetle. Nice to see Mark Zaslove showing BALANCE in his work. That's the difference between a feminist and a FemiNazi. Just so you want to know. Klang takes some nasty bell shots with the stray bells for a nice touch.( Sadly; it's about the tenth time that someone got nailed in the head.) Isn't the medium red robe thug supposed to be the bump machine here? Oh well; Klang is a good bump machine in his own right; so I cannot complain here. Klang gets knocked down but he no sells and gets up which indicates that Klang is truly a necromancer and undead. I'm explain that little quirk when we get to the finish. Katie and Baloo run stage left -- with Baloo yelling and Katie grabbing the bells of course -- as Louie climbs to the top of the beetle statue proclaiming that this is getting too exciting for him. Yeah; because you got the EASY part of the mission for a change, you silly piece of matted fur. We logically return to the tilted SeaDuck as Baloo and Katie hop in as Katie pops the question about making it. Baloo proclaims that with one engine and no runway; probably not. Where's Kit...? Oh wait; he's still with Don Karnage, my mistake...or is he? I felt that this episode took place before Kit met Don Karnage too by the way. The SeaDuck still flies well in spite of it as we cut to the staircase as Klang comes up holding his jaw proclaiming that they will pay for their impertinence. HOLY CRAP Tim Curry?! Watch yourself there. Disney audiences don't even know the meaning of that word and Eisner a demographics freak! (The word means lack of respect or being rude.) Klang then spots Louie climbing up the beetle's antenna and realizes that this is where the Master Bell is so he goes over to the WEAPON GONG OF DEATH, of course. The SeaDuck drives down the city runway and the engine is still causing him problems as the right engine is forced to smoke while the SeaDuck flies up into a hyperbole.

Klang turns the weapons around towards the giant beetle tower where the master bell is. I think this is kind of stupid myself because if the sound waves cause the bell to ring from above; doesn't that simply give Katie what she wants. Or is Klang simply insane at this point to care about his stupidity? You the viewer decide! (Wow; 2009 Me figured out how stupid Klang was. That was amazing.) More climbing from Louie as he finally has climbed to the very top of the bell's structure (the horns of course) and there is cave rumblings going on. Louie nearly falls off; but manages to hang on still. Klang pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) as he declares that he shall not miss again as the SeaDuck is flying towards the tower. Baloo proclaims that he has got to get to Louie. After all; Katie will hate him if he dies in any way. Right Pop-A-Bear?! POW! OUCH! Hey! Louie climbs up and wonders how to get this rock rolling as he stomps with double feet but gets nowhere fast as Klang uses the log and that plays the GONG OF DEATH. The SOUND WAVES OF DOOM fires and the rocks crumble as the wings of the beetle open and that exposes the tower for all to see as Klang smiles like a bitch. Why is he doing that?! Doesn't he realize that he has lost right there?! The SeaDuck flies -- and the left engine is STILL not working; but negated somewhat by the fact that the right one has stopped smoking -- towards the tower as Baloo yells at Louie to jump. Louie jumps right into the front of the SeaDuck's nose; but misses being a freaking bug on his windshield (God bless Kenny Blankenship; the one from MXC. (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge was funny in it's own really stupid way. I even wrote fanfiction for it and despite the fact that I had to repeat a lot of the spots they did in the show, it was an entertaining little diversion to say the least.)). The SeaDuck flies away as Klang's hope chest is completely gone as the BELL THAT SILENCES ALL pulls back on it's ringers slowly for dramatic effect and NOW Klang realizes that he is totally done! Nice to see Klang finally realizes his folly. See you in two episode hell along with Professor Buzz and the Jungle Aces. The ringers finally ring the bell in a deep tone as deep as possible as we get shots from the city above and below for more dramatic effect and the earthquake begins as the earth cracks below the city and all hell breaks loose; destroying the entire city to sand and dust; DUH!

Klang is completely helpless as he plugs his ears like a theocrat who goes down like Louie in his last stand. We cut to the SeaDuck as Louie complains about the SeaDuck's height as the boulders come raining down on them; but Baloo cannot due to the left engine being dead, of course. The mountains comes crashing down as then the most absurd spot in the entire episode occurs as Katie pops from the conveniently placed door in front of the SeaDuck opens and she rings the bells one more time to cause the Giant Beetle Statue to open their wings and create a shield for the SeaDuck to be safe from the falling rocks. Okay; this took place before Plunder and Lightning, we GET IT Mark! (It's even dumber than that: Number one: Even if there is a door in the hood of the SeaDuck; how would Katie fit in there if there is an engine in the way? You couldn't put her on the roof of the SeaDuck and after she rings the bell and the SeaDuck bypasses the statues; have her hug Louie? I'll explain why this is even dumber in the next scene because it ties in to the whole womanizing angle.) The SeaDuck flies under safely and then the statues get buried of course afterward as Klangs panics like crazy as he gets squashed like a man as the main pillar crumble below his feet and the rest of the city gets destroyed as we finally fade to black. We then return to the skies as the SeaDuck -- still with only one engine and Sun Woo STILL keeps it as the left one the whole time in CONTINUITY BABEE~! -- flies around AFTER HAPPY HOUR; as Baloo proclaims that it's finally over and Klang is dead (basically). Katie proclaims that Tinabula is a lost city again as we look down at the desert as the sand whip around in a neat scene and then cut down to a small plugged up hole in the ground as Klang RISES FROM THE DEAD! HAHA! So much for Baloo's prediction right there as Klang tries to pull himself from DA...HOLE and his clothes and metal parts come loose to reveal that he is only just a snake. HOLY CRAP! He was only a cobra after all. So how did he talk? (This is where everyone found out that Klang was not a reskin of Kaa from The Jungle Book. Sad; but I guess Mark figured that Kaa wouldn't be able to seduce anyone and thus Jungle Book fans would turn on it. I'm fine with it not being Kaa.)

My working theory was that he was reincarnated as a anthro snake; but then was killed in the actual episode and then reincarnated as a sick joke as a real snake because he stopped talking once we saw him here and he hissed like a real snake. In Klangs of a Feather; he would find a way to become an anthro snake again by the way. In other words; he was a necromancer on top of his arms dealing. Anyhow; Klang slides away like the snake that he is and that leads to the MIRROR OF VANITY inside Baloo and Louie's hotel room as Baloo and Louie are getting in their formal gear as Baloo wants to take Katie dancing and eat at the Kasbah Club because Baloo is such a greedy guts and a sexist. At least Louie has realized how silly he was in wearing lavender and is going in the same formal gear as Baloo (only smaller) as he calls that dinner lonely since Louie is taking her to the Cafe Ritz. (Doesn't Louie realize that Baloo has already won the seduction contest with Katie? Or does he believe that the writers are stupid?) We then head to the door as Katie sneaks in with her bells and she is still in regular clothes which should give away the fact that she is not going out with either one of them well in advance. (Actually; she's wearing longer pants of the same color as her outfit now.) Katie waltzes in and announces that the Ghafian Museum has asked her to give a lecture on Tinabula tonight. SCORE! Baloo and Louie have been REJECTED! And she didn't have to act like a bitch to do it, see. (The payoff to all this was sound on paper and in execution; but the problem is that it only works if Baloo and Louie each had two hugs and this scene was the end of the angle. Baloo was leading 2-1 in that department; so they each get a kiss and get left hanging by Katie. The story was that Baloo and Louie are trying to woo Katie into a date and they booked it to have Baloo win and then get left hanging instead of both of them being tied and then Katie leaves them hanging and both of them look like idiots. Katie did her job here as she should have, it's just a problem with the booking that made it not so good.) That's why Baloo and Louie are so screwed that they fumble over their words on how nice it is for her like the sexists that they are.

This is so great; they are getting exactly what they deserve for trying to act cool and macho over her now that people are taking her SERIOUSLY. Katie takes it well and kisses both Louie and Baloo to add one final insult to the whole thing (well to them; to me this is AWESOME!) and then leaves thanking them both for their services. HAHA! She closes the door and she walks into two episode hell. (Joining about 35+ characters who had one episode and that was it, because Eisner believed in milking Baloo, Louie and Shere Khan, a tactic that would backfire today in the "kids in the main event" era. The funniest thing about that is that this show already had Kit and Molly as part of the main characters. And Kit is an awesome character. Sadly; we'll never know if Disney would screw this up because they have confirmed that TaleSpin is not going to be rebooted. I'm disappointed because I would have loved to see how they would do with this series and if they then screw it up; then I can simply review the episodes, say my piece and move on with my life saying "Well, they tried." At least Ducktales will get a chance to get screwed up again like Ducktales third issue or redeem themselves. To be honest, after they released all the episodes of TaleSpin on DVD, I took the hint that Disney wasn't going to reboot TaleSpin under the Malstorm rule of Virtual Console games.) Louie blows her off as we go outside the motel AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Baloo and Louie walk down the street sighing asking what they would like to do for the rest of their vacation. Of course they want to do the exact same thing they wanted to do at the beginning of the episode: Avoid a treasure hunt and a pretty face. Sadly; it takes about three seconds before a cat furry wearing probably the most revealing outfit in DTVA history before Quack Pack's Agent X arrives complete with turban; purple bra; mid riff and somewhat revealing skirt asks them about a treasure hunt. Oh boy! Didn't these animators get the memo that only the Little Mermaid was supposed to have that big of a mid riff?! That's the most skin I have ever seen in a DTVA cartoon ever. Even the sluttiest cowboy of Agent X's disguise cannot beat that; but at least this TaleSpin gal has some class. (I realize that skimpy outfits have happened in the golden age; but at least it was the adults wearing those outfits. Nowadays; it's teenagers and sometimes little kids. Personally; I don't have any problems with skimpy outfits and I think people who get hot and bothered about them to great extremes are misogynists to the core. However; keep in mind that children cannot give informed consent anyway and that's why there is such an outrage. I think it's absurd.) She is voiced by Susan Silo by the way.

She gets charming as she has this map in her left hand and Baloo and Louie casually do their ties, walk over to her; grab the map and stuff it over her head. VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS AGAINST THE LAW!! (Says the asshole who used the word slut in his re-rant. You must like bleeding from shattered glass after throwing so many stones.) I know it's just a map; but I thought Toon Disney would cut this out on principle that... Oh wait; if you are going to allow Katie to take a MAN-SIZED bump to the back of the head with a beetle; then you have to allow this. Never mind what I said. I know it's a map; but it just seems a lot less funny now as Baloo and Louie walk out and she wonder what she said. (Okay; now you're being over the top 2009 me. Yes; the man on woman violence with a map was what it was. However; Kendell in Pinch Sitter in Kick Buttowski suffered a lot more than that. Plus; Kendell saved Kick's ass from Denise's wrath at the finish of the episode and Kick and Brad (although I expected nothing less from Brad since he's a heel.) repay her by shooting clothes, sewage and then giving her the Team Rocket exit. By orders of magnitude, Kendell suffered far worse than this woman with a piece of paper that did almost no damage to her.) Well; she can only be so lucky that it was a map and not something sicker as we fade to black to finally end the OAV at 42:44. And because of Sun Woo's wussy bumps near the middle; this prevents a full monty because they only have two minor logic breaks in the entire OAV which is less than A Bad Reflection On You. I got a hand it to Mark Zaslove; this episode is damn fun to watch even after 20 years of hindsight; albeit for different reasons. When it was released; it was due to Baloo and Louie getting the show over. Nowadays; it's due to Klang and Katie stealing the show like most one shotters always manged to do. Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove just do not get enough credit for their work as entertainers. (After watching this on transcript; there were more logic breaks than I expected and while the story line was good, this was not an epic adventure. Sure, it felt like that in spot; however, it ultimately felt like a good Cleveland notes Indiana Jones movie; which is fine for television, but I expected more. So I'm lowering it down to *** 3/4 (75%) and a thumbs in the middle pointing up now. I agree with the last comment about Jymn Magon and Mark Zaslove, but Road To Macadamia was much better in terms of Hope/Crosby type adventures for Baloo and Louie.)

One Final Note: they kept the credit error in crediting Henry Polic II as Henry Polic III. You're not fooling anyone Gary Krisel.

THE REVIEW LINE

Well; the final OAV is in the books for TaleSpin and once again, I marvel at how this episode can withstand a critical view and still come out very well. (This one didn't hold up as well as it did seven years ago, but it's still very good.) After about five years of hindsight and Malstrom; I can now fully understand why Eisner decided on releasing these two episodes on VHS and not the pilot or A Bad Reflection On You which I felt were better masterpieces. The reason behind it was that at the time; Baloo and Louie (and Shere Khan to a certain extent) were designed to milk the Jungle Book characters and From Whom The Bell Klangs was simply Baloo and Louie doing what they do best: insulting each other in Hope and Crosby fashion where wooing a lass while treasure hunting against a badass heel like Klang. Klang and Katie were simply background characters in Eisner's eyes. There are just one slight problem: The core actually started to like TaleSpin and started to like the originally made characters (that were not Baloo, Louie and Shere Khan) and saw a great dynmanic between Klang and Katie Dodd. Katie Dodd had a decent fan base in that she was a strong McGruffin (who turned out to not be so because Klang's hearing is different from Katie's.) that knew how to take a MAN-SIZED bump and dish one out when she needed to. Something even Mira didn't do. Katie might be a jerk; but again Baloo and Louie were much worse. (They were bigger jerks and sexists; but compared to Brutus. Not in the same country.) And again; it goes back to treehouse syndrome and all that I mentioned earlier.

This episode was a mere foreshadowing for Baloo and Louie to what Baloo will face when he has to deal with another woman full blast and being her slave in order to get his plane back, all because of his laziness and inability to make money: Rebecca Cunningham. Klang was simply a badass; basically Don Karnage without the flair. Something I wanted to see Don Karnage do more of; be more blood thirsty. The beetles of course were okay (mostly due to their sick bump on the back of Katie's head) and the thugs were hilarious with their bad international tongues so to speak. However; Michael Eisner simply didn't care about what any of those characters did; the main story was what Baloo and Louie did in their roles and they did their roles to the hilt. They were pure love crazed lunatics and it felt quite believable. This is expanded audience material to non-customers and it was really effective. To them; it was an awesome adventure featuring Baloo and Louie; to me it was simply Katie and Klang stealing the show while Baloo and Louie acted like sexists. In other words; everyone won except Eisner because Eisner was a demographic freak while creative was doing their job in entertainment. (This was not awesome; it was very good, but it could have been better.) As for the downsides; Sunwoo's wussy bumps near the beginning of the first act of Part II prevented a perfect episode; but for a Kit-less episode, only two logic breaks is an awesome thing to behold for a forty-four minute episode. (Only in different spots this time around.) Bring on Ducktales!!

Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this OAV and I'll see you next time with the beginning of the show that got DTVA over for good: Ducktales. WOO-HOO!

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